Author's Note: Thanks to NewMoonFlicker for these words!
When stars are hiding in the clouds
I don't feel them shining
When I can't see beyond my doubt
The silver lining
When I've almost reached the end
Like a flood you're rushing in
Your love is rushing in
- "Light up the Sky" by The Afters
81. Follow
Bucky did follow his Captain into the jaws of death, but he never once regretted it, because he knew his Captain would always be there to snatch him out again.
82. Wind
Sometimes, when the cold winter wind hits his face just right, he can almost catch an echo of Bucky's scream as he fell to his death, and he clenches his fist tightly on nothing but air.
83. Breathe
"Just breathe," he used to tell Steve during an asthma attack, and now he hears those same words repeated back to him as panic threatens to suffocate him: "Just breathe."
84. Bold
Everyone assumes Steve is bold and brave just because it comes naturally; no one realizes that boldness was cultivated with decades of support and encouragement.
85. Lightening
The burden of guilt weighs on Bucky's shoulders like massive boulders, growing heavier every time he remembers what he's done; yet the load is lightening every time Steve smiles at him again.
86. Heights
One might assume that Bucky has a fear of heights now, since he fell such a long distance on the day he lost his left arm; instead, Steve is the one whose breath catches in fear when he looks over the edge of a cliff, because that was what he saw on the day he lost his whole world.
87. Catch
Every time he and Sam chase down another vague lead, Steve is sure that this time he'll catch sight of his best friend—this isn't naivete, but rather the only thought that keeps him from succumbing to despair.
88. Forget
Sometimes Bucky worries about what he'll do if he forgets everything again, driving himself to tears when he thinks of the possibility of losing himself so completely...but right when he's ready to give in to despair, Steve wraps his arms around him and whispers in his ear, "If you forget, all I have to do is remind you again."
89. Behind
Behind the star is an aching, empty question; behind the mask is the unsuspecting answer.
90. One
One day, the crumbling cracks between them will be filled in and the empty hollows inside them will be whole and the sun will shine through the rain and they will be warm and happy and there will be no more tears, but until then...until then, they hold fast to each other, because if it's to dust they must return, at least they will do so together.