A/N: there will probably not be any chapters released this Monday, so enjoy this Sunday chapter bomb!

21/05/2017 part 1/4

Rin woke that morning to a gentle knock at her door and hurried quickly to her feet and over to it, her face lit up with joy- but her smile froze in shock to see one of the servants at her door.

The woman noted Rin's awkward look and offered a small, kind smile. "Milord asked me to check on you, miss, since he won't be here for the rest of the week. Are you well? Do you need anything?" Rin mutely shook her head, her face finally falling in disappointment. "you didn't have dinner last night- you should eat breakfast."

Rin let out a soft sigh. "I'm not hungry. But thank you." It was, of course, a lie- she was very hungry. But she was moping and didn't want to leave her room.

The servant woman frowned, hearing the lie easily. "might I interest you in a hot bath, then?" she suggested, and Rin's eyes lit up eagerly in spite of herself. The manor had a very nice bath house with a central tub for soaking that was kept warm at all times by a small, carefully tended fire- it was the closest thing to a hot spring for miles and pure luxury to bathe in. not only that, she needed a bath after yesterday- she was sure she had dirt or something in her hair.

Taking Rin's expression for an answer, the servant smiled a little wider and led Rin to the bath house, though the young woman obviously knew where it was. Rin didn't mind the company until the woman didn't leave when they arrived. "ah…I am used to bathing alone," she commented, blushing slightly. The servant bowed, smiling softly.

"my apologies, Rin-san. Sesshomaru-sama ordered that I should remain with you while he is away, to ensure your protection. This time of year can make the males of our kind very suspicious and jumpy. But if you like, I can wait outside for you and make sure you are not disturbed." Rin nodded, indicating that would be best, and waited for the platinum-blonde servant woman to leave before disrobing and stepping to a washtub to bathe. Once clean, she tied up her hair and climbed into the large central tub, sighing blissfully at the hot water, relaxing in spite of herself.

While Rin soaked, she daydreamed, wondering what Sesshomaru-sama must be doing right now. Had he gone off to his festival as if nothing had happened? It would surprise her more if he hadn't. after the way he'd looked last night, she had little doubt he would want to be as far away from her as possible, at least for a little while. She could only hope he would get over himself and come back eventually. He had to know she wasn't angry at him, or scared of him, didn't he? After all, how could she be upset when she knew he had not been himself…but she did understand all his hesitance to touch her previously. After all, if it had been only his baser instincts and nothing more, she had the feeling he would not have been so gentle with her in the act- she did not have a single mark or bruise or scratch anywhere on her, and the only blood had come from losing her innocence.

Speaking of blood- hers was due in a few more days. Rin did not have nearly the grasp on how cycles and such worked as Kagome or even Sesshomaru did, but she knew she had done everything technically required to have a baby, and one of the ways to tell if that was going to happen was if your blood didn't come. She had a momentary rush of excitement at the thought of being a mother before her mind caught up with her heart and pointed out all the problems with that. First of all, she wouldn't have any sign for several more days, so she couldn't get ahead of herself. Secondly, if he was so ashamed of laying with her, surely he would be even more upset at being a father- and lastly, he had made it clear almost a year ago how much he despised hanyou, and she realized with a shock that of course any child she could offer him would be such. Suddenly the desire to be a mother evaporated like the steam from the top of the pool and she actually gave a small silent prayer that she wasn't pregnant and couldn't be. She gave a slight worried shiver in the toasty warm bathwater and decided she'd soaked long enough.

The servant woman was still waiting outside the bath house with a small, polite smile and got to her feet as Rin emerged with a small thoughtful frown on her face, not looking at the woman. "shall we have a light meal and go to your lessons for the day, Rin-san?" the woman suggested gently. "your morning tutor is waiting for you already."

Rin gave a slightly guilty look and nodded, following the servant and eating somewhat robotically in the empty dining hall before going to her lessons. She went to the porch during her afternoon break to look out into the garden and was surprised to find a bedroll there. Who on earth would want to sleep out on the porch in this weather? The nights were starting to get cold and it sometimes rained overnight. Rin noticed the servant glance at the bedroll knowingly before turning her attention back to the young woman.

"whose is that?" she asked, nodding to the bedding. The servant smiled gently. "it's Sesshomaru-sama's. he will be keeping night watch while I guard you during the day." She stepped off the porch, into the garden, and pointed up to the second floor. "whose window is that?" she asked Rin.

Rin blinked and thought for a moment before her eyes widened in surprise. "that's my window!" she blurted. So he does care…he wants to protect me, but not tempt himself… she felt herself smile a little at the realization, and they went back inside with Rin much happier than she had been that morning.

Sesshomaru did not return until long after the sun had set that day. He noticed his bedroll was laid out with a blanket and something lumpy coiled underneath it, and felt a growl rise in his throat. Who dared disturb his resting place?! He got most of the way up to the porch before he realized it was his moko that Rin had returned to him, as well as one of her blankets. Both were full of her delightful scent and he sighed. A small part of him wanted to toss the blanket away and grind it into the dirt of the garden until the scent was gone- he didn't deserve to enjoy it. But instead he returned his pelt to its rightful position on his shoulder and settled cross-legged onto the bedding, gently picking up the blanket and holding it to his nose, closing his eyes and allowing the scent to soothe him. He had spent the entire day literally running from his problems, pretending he was doing anything useful as he patrolled his territory, almost begging someone to pick a fight with him so he could let off some steam. The night was a little chilly and Sesshomaru was surprised to realize that Rin's window above him was open and he could hear her deep breathing very clearly. She must have moved her futon to the other end of the room, right under the window instead of by his wall. He let out a soft, appreciative hum and settled down to sleep so he could leave before dawn again, before she woke.

Two days after the moonless night, right on schedule, Rin got her blood. Her afternoon tutor allowed her to rest instead of lessons and she sat out by the koi pond for a little while, one of her favorite spots. She gave the servant woman a glare as she caught the woman making a face once again as she caught the whiff of human blood from the girl. "you can always leave me alone for a while, Sayuri. I'm perfectly safe here," Rin quipped irritably.

"I'm sorry, milady, I have my orders." She sighed. "I'm just wondering how to phrase this in my report tonight." Rin grumbled something under her breath and got up. "I'm going to take a nap. Go find something else to do for a while."

Sesshomaru returned with the waxing crescent moon in the night sky, seeming to match the marking on his forehead. As soon as he passed the garden gates he was alarmed to scent Rin's blood on the night air, completely forgetting in that moment that as a human woman that was a normal thing for her. Rin changed the blanket she left on his bedroll out every evening after dinnertime so her scent was fresh for him, and he rushed to it, nearly terrified until he realized what had happened. He turned the blanket over in his hands until he found the tiny spot that so offended his nose. It was so small no doubt Rin would never have noticed it, but it told him all he needed to know. He felt a tiny pang of sorrow that was almost instantly overshadowed by a rush of relief. Rin was safe. Then he felt ashamed for feeling so relieved. He didn't think he should be so relieved when the alternative should really be just as joyous a thing, shouldn't it? It was his duty to take a mate and father at least one child that would become the heir as he took his mother's place as ruler. By the laws, Rin could never be that mate, and she could not give him the heir he needed. He sighed deeply and set the blanket aside, listening to sayuri's report before going to sleep once more.

Rin was sitting out on the porch once more about four days later, watching as the clouds thickened and got a little darker, obscuring the evening sun. it wasn't going to just rain tonight, clearly; it was going to storm. Rin managed to convince sayuri to take Sesshomaru's bedroll inside so it didn't get wet and he didn't try to sleep outside in the weather once it started raining. She shivered a little and headed inside as the wind started to pick up and thunder rolled in the distance. She had never liked storms- they could be very dangerous. She shut her window and moved her futon back against the opposite wall, shivering as rain lashed against it and praying sesshomaru would get home soon…Jaken left a bowl of soup for her outside her door as he still sometimes did, and Rin drank it rather distractedly, not noticing the stripe on the bowl…

By the time Sesshomaru returned to his manor it was pouring rain. He stepped up onto the porch, glanced quickly around to ensure no one was nearby, and put his hands on the wood, quickly shaking himself mostly dry before straightening up and going inside. He went to a closet and changed out of his wet clothes before going upstairs. He made it up the first two before bolting up the rest, hearing Rin whimpering in her room. He stopped himself from throwing open the door and knocked instead. "c-c-come in, milord," her quavering voice answered, and he didn't hesitate another second.

Rin was curled in a ball on her futon, clutching at her stomach, which was burning in pain. Sesshomaru spotted the bowl on a low table nearby her. Damn it, Jaken! He stepped through the door between their rooms and returned in an instant with the vial he'd had before. "here, Rin, you need to drink this quickly." He carefully helped her sit up and drink the concoction, and she breathed easier as the pain faded. A sudden loud crack of thunder made her practically jump into his arms as he knelt beside her. She was shivering in fear of the storm, he supposed. He carefully shifted so he was sitting cross-legged and pulled her gently into his lap, laying her head against his chest and covering her other ear with his hand to block out the sounds of the storm. "it's all right. It's only a storm, and it will pass." He gently stroked her hair as he held her, grateful for the chance to be so near to her again. He felt confident, now that the season was over, that there would be no danger if he wanted to be nearer to her once more. He heard her yawn slightly.

"thank you…" she murmured softly as she dozed off, no doubt a side effect of the medicine she'd taken. For everything, even if you want to forget it.

Sesshomaru gently kissed the top of Rin's head once he was sure she was asleep. "I'm sorry, Rin," he murmured softly. After a few more moments the week of running himself ragged with very little rest caught up with him, and he simply tipped over sideways and snuggled into the futon, wreathed on all sides by Rin's soothing scent…