Chapter 9
Weeks went by. Most conversation at home was between Tergiv and Percran. Most of it went over my head, and surprisingly Kurtaz was likewise confused. They spoke of how they were going to gain control of whatever it was my dad was involved in at work. I never could follow along when Dad talked about his job, and apparently it was above Kurtaz's understanding.
That did little to give me hope. I wondered how many Yeerks were more like Kurtaz. I then wondered which was worse, Yeerks like Kurtaz, or Yeerks like Tergiv. I could only gauge Percran by how they talked to Tergiv. They seemed to understand the subject, so obviously smarter than Kurtaz, but I had no way of knowing if they were as ambitious as Tergiv.
«I don't think so,» Kurtaz said, reminding me yet again that even my thoughts were not my own. «Tergiv is rather infamous for climbing the ranks. Promotion to Sub-Visser is guaranteed once this mission is completed...»
«What happens to my father then?» I asked. Kurtaz shrugged mentally.
«It will depend on Visser Three. If he keeps Tergiv in charge of the project, then your father will remain Tergiv's host. If Tergiv's promotion leads to a different position, then Dad will get a new Yeerk.» The fury rose up in me faster than I ever experienced.
«DON'T YOU DARE CALL HIM "DAD"!» I roared. The mental image of Kurtaz stumbled backward, and fell on the floor.
"Ack!" Kurtaz cried out verbally. I felt my body spasm, and slide out of my desk chair. I landed with a thud.
«All I was trying to do was make you feel better about it,» Kurtaz blubbered. He sounded offended that I was angry.
«Why would I feel better about my dad being enslaved?» I demanded. «And don't you dare start in on your little script about how one day all humans will be enslaved! I heard it enough from Tergiv!» Kurtaz did not respond. I got an echo from him, and learned that he was rather bothered by the fact that my outburst caused him to lose control, even for a split second. He searched through my memories with Tergiv, and saw the few times I caused loss of control. Even though there were times, Kurtaz was still concerned. I could feel fear. He worried that if it happened in front of someone like Taylor, he could be punished. He worried because he was using the maximum amount of control. There was nothing more he could call up to tamp me down.
Kurtaz looked at me, the sternest look on his "face." For the first time, he was sizing me up. Deciding if I was a threat or not.
I gave him nothing. I forced myself not to think about how I could use this. I only said one thing to him.
«You. Will. Never. Win.» Before Kurtaz could respond, there was a knock on my bedroom door.
"Are you okay in there?" Percran called through the door. "We heard a thud…"
"I'm okay!" Kurtaz shouted back. "I… dropped something."
"Okay…" Percran replied. I sensed some relief from Kurtaz. He acknowledged that if Tergiv had checked, they would not have been as easily convinced, because Tergiv knew what I was capable of.
The next day at school, Kurtaz walked me around at record speeds. His nervousness seeping into how he controlled my body. He was adding names to the list of Yeerks he did not want to lose control in front of. Taylor, or Sub-Visser 51; Visser Three, obviously; Tergiv; Innis 226, aka Mr. Chapman, because of how closely Innis worked with the Visser. Kurtaz was so nervous, it was causing my hands to shake.
«Will you calm down!» I chastised him. «You're worried about all those other Yeerks thinking something is wrong, but you're going to attract attention the way you're acting!»
«Quiet! Quiet! Be Quiet!» Kurtaz mumbled. He brought up the memory of Herthen questioning him when he stopped in the middle of the hallway to "talk" to me.
«This is the only thing I have left!» I said. «You can't take it away from me!» Kurtaz looked at me. The emotions I felt coming from him caused me to imagine a face full of fear, and anger.
«You were supposed to be a nothing host,» he said, sounding desperate. «An easy host. Your importance ended once your parents were infested.» He stared straight at me. «Why can't you be an easy host?!»
«Because I'm human,» I said simply. «And humans don't like being enslaved.»
«The voluntary hosts...»
«Are psychopaths!» I cut across him. «Sociopaths. Something-paths. Whatever they are, they certainly don't represent humanity as a whole!» Kurtaz frowned, and for the first time, it seemed like I might have broken through the company line of "All humans will be Yeerk hosts eventually." For the first time, Kurtaz might have some doubts about the success of the invasion.
For the first time, I felt hope.
And I needed that.