I'm going to be honest, I'm shocked it has taken this long for someone to actually write this. But I suppose if no one else will, I must take up the torch and do it myself. I'm overdue for writing something silly, after all.

Also, it's interesting where the conversation briefly went as I was mid-writing. Funny how that works out

Gurug'ath takes an involuntary bath

"I will let you go soon," promised Emeli with a smile that revealed her disgustingly perfect white teeth. "My beloved gave you a message for your master, and I don't want to stop you from delivering it."

"This should not relieve you, however," she whispered. It had not, for Gurug'ath was no fool. "Because it means I will have to work on you intensively, to make sure you understand the depths of your folly before I have my servants throw what's left of you into that rotting Garden."

"With Grandfather's blessing, I am beyond torment," replied Gurug'ath defiantly. "Do your worst."

Emeli smiled, and for the second time the Great Unclean One felt fear.

"Oh, I will. Now, where to start..."

Time was anything but consistent in the warp, but this moment dragged on for ages. Great Unclean One stared at the Daemon Princess, who was silently considering her options. Gurug'ath briefly thought her threats might have been empty, but then a horrid smile appeared on her face. "I know! Maybe Nurgle makes you immune to pain, but who said pain was the only thing I can do to you?" She burst into melodic laughter, turning to a few Daemonettes kneeling in one corner of the room. "Be a dear and put the bath on for me. The big one, of course. And you, get all the soaps, gels and conditioners you can find. I'm going to treat our guest to the joys of Slaaneshi bathing".

The words were like a dagger through his rotted heart. "No! NO! You won't! You can't!"

"Of course I can, Gurug'ath," Emeli tittered. "Really, you should thank me. No mortal cleaning can make you as pristine as a Slaaneshi-style bath, it's quite a treat, though we might need to do a bit more than usual for someone like you"

The daemon's breath was rattling, and for once it wasn't because of any respiratory infection. He was gasping in horror. She was going to clean him. She was- she was...

Emeli giggled and gestured for the rest of her servants to carry the corpulent Greater Daemon. He hardly noticed their sharp claws piercing into him. That was what he had expected, lashes and blades and claws, not this... horror. The strange procession marched through halls filled with every flavour of delusional debauchery imaginable. Idly, Gurug'ath wondered how many of these would ruin the bodies of mortals in the material realm. Outside of Slaanesh's realm, how much of this would turn to despair. It was something to consider, anything that might help him re-earn his favour after this impending humiliation. Eventually, they reached the bathhouses, immense structures open to the air, or fully enclosed, frigid or scalding, still or churning. Emeli strode straight towards the largest one.

Inside, an enormous pool awaited, a great waterfall spilling from out of sight, the water clear and shining, too clear, too shining. This was not the beautiful stagnant filth that would run through Nurgle's garden, but more pristine than any natural spring or mortal filtration. Emeli lay down on a deckchair and looked at the Great Unclean One. With a gesture, he was spun around and around.

"Hmm, too dirty. I'm not sullying my favourite bath with everything he has all over him, we'd be deep cleaning until Rhana Dandra. At least get rid of all of those repulsive maggots and flies, I don't want any of those living in the pool".

"Leave them alone!" Gurug'ath shouted.

"Ahahahah!" she giggled. "No, of course, I'll find somewhere else to put them, and give them a clean too. A proper, thorough one. You'll never have to worry about them getting dirty again". The Daemon Princess clapped her hands, and a cauldron full of something red hot was brought out. The Daemonettes began picking the maggots out of his flesh and dropping them into the bubbling fluid. Screams filled the air, both of the maggots as they burned and sank, and of Gurug'ath as he watched his prized pets, no, his children, be reduced to ash. Emeli called out to the Daemonette team operating the waterfall. "Pour a bit out for me, then set the temperature as high as it will go." The massive bath began to bubble and steam, a white haze filling the room. A separate bath was brought in for Emeli, who jumped in with a splash. Her eyes never left the Great Unclean One, and the vicious smile never left her face.

The screams of burning mutant maggots took a long time to end. The Daemonettes were thorough, reaching through every part of his bloated guts for survivors, while he was sprayed with a fly killer that burned like acid. Not even the youngest, a pleasant fellow he had taken to calling Steve, had escaped their purge. Gurug'ath's eyes became even more rheumy, which he told himself was simply Nurgle supporting him through this trying time, and not because Steve was burning to ash in front of him. Emeli was not letting him turn away for a moment, personally making the little maggot's death as slow as possible. Its suffering ended only because she was distracted by a huge trolley had been wheeled in containing various brightly coloured bottles. Each was a foul implement of torture - soap, shampoo, bubble bath. She leaped out of the bath and sang to herself as she delved through the various concoctions. Some were put back with great care, others tossed aside, and a handful levitated to the bath side.

"Ah, that's the one! Phoenician's Hairesy Cure!" she shouted with undisguised glee, holding a bottle aloft. It depicted a scowling bald man on a gold background, before rapidly turning pink as shining silver locks grew from the man's face, who was now beaming. "Since we are giving you a bath, you might as well have a makeover too. I never had a use for this stuff, but you look a bit follically challenged. I wonder what you will look like with Fulgrim's beautiful hair... oh but I'm getting ahead of myself". A flick of a wrist, and a different bottle tipped over, dumping its contents into the pool. It swirled around, and pink bubbles appeared all over the surface. A few drops splashed into Emeli's bath too, filling it with the same bubbles. Gurug'ath was hosed down with icy water, removing a lot of the external grime, and then the Daemonettes threw him face first into the pool.

He expected it to hurt. He expected it to feel like fire and silver and faith, burning his essence. It was so much worse. It felt... good. It felt soft and gentle. Gurug'ath didn't mind how the mud of the garden clung to him, it was just one small part of decay, that things would tarnish and dirty. But this was so different. The dirt seemed to just float off of him, his skin bare for the first time in... well, the first time in his existence. No. He was not enjoying this. It was a humiliation. It was terrible. He could see the water becoming muddy and brown. He could build on that. Gurug'ath used every technique he could think of to fight back the cleaning. If he could just make the water filthy, he could undo all of this and save himself from humiliation. Buboes burst as the contents of his guts spilled out. The bubble bath mixture fought him, but it was a losing battle. Emeli's precious pool was now a place of Nurgle, and he would keep going until he had expended himself. The Great Unclean One allowed himself to smile. She had just unwittingly opened a weakness and allowed him to despoil somewhere deep within the Realm of Slaanesh. She would surely suffer punishment for this failure.

Except Emeli didn't look worried, if anything she was trying to hold in laughter, not tears of dread. A second bottle emptied its contents. "Really Gurug'ath," she sighed, "attempting to infect my bath? You should know better than to think you could win here". A whirlpool started to spin, spreading the far more caustic mix through the water. Everywhere it went, Gurug'ath's filth seemed to evaporate, and the bath returned to its pristine state. He tried to dirty the water once more, but any semblance of strength had left the Greater Daemon. He was really, truly helpless, and he was going to be cleaned.

The bath was agonisingly slow. The many Daemonettes seemed to be enjoying the irony as much as Emeli, even if they were having to actually do the unpleasant work of cleaning him up. First came the scrubbing, then the scouring with what looked like oversized versions of the mortal cookware cleaning equivalent. Layers and layers of rotted dead skin were worn away and annihilated by the bath. Worse, the torn hole in his body was allowing the water to get inside him, and nothing was safe. His skin looked more brown or pink than green now. Even this was not as bad as it got. A Daemonette forced his mouth open and tossed a bar of soap into it. Gurug'ath tried to spit it out, but every time, it was simply forced back in, and an act of sorcery caused it to animate and begin cleaning all by itself. In a terrible moment, the ever less unclean one swallowed some of the foam.

"I think that's enough," Emeli remarked with an unnerving casualness. Gurug'ath almost wanted to hope that that was it, but of course, it was not. "Empty the bath and refill it with mouthwash, then drown him in it. Make sure our guest drinks some of it".

The bath slowly drained, only for the waterfall above to turn pink. Even before it was all full, a massive toothbrush was procured from somewhere, and the daemon had to endure his first teeth brushing. Millennia of accumulated grime and rotted flesh was swept away, replaced with smooth teeth that shined the same brilliant white as Emeli's own. In honesty, the daemon had to admit, being forced to gargle mouthwash wasn't anything close to as bad as the terrible brushing.

"You are looking much better Gurug'ath. I can't say you will ever look good, but you at least aren't a total eyesore anymore. Still, I think it is time for the makeover to begin. To start with, of course, hair. Let's get a mirror so he can see the results. I'm told Phoenician's Hairesy Cure works wonders". Gurug'ath was hoisted out of the bath and hosed down. Silver fluid from the dreadful bottle was smeared all over his bare scalp, and the Daemonettes were not being gentle about how they rubbed it in. A terrible itchiness followed wherever the fluid touched, and this was no gift from Nurgle. He could see in real time shining silver hairs shoot out of his head, long and straight. Combs immediately tamed the wild strands and forced them into various styles. Emeli tried multiple different hair styles before eventually settling on a simple loose one with a side parting. Before he could rid himself of the indignity, gels were applied to fix it in place. "I wouldn't want you to accidentally ruin all of their hard work, after all". The gels quickly faded into invisibility, but no matter how hard he shook his head, the hair refused to become messy or change in any way. The strands immediately flew right back to their original position.

"Ah, I really should let you get going... hmm, do we have time for a manicure?" She immediately nodded. "There's always time for a manicure". One final torture and then it would be over. Just one more. It was inevitable, he would be back where he belonged soon, and this would just be a terrible memory. Gurug'ath relaxed. He could find somewhere to destroy all of this work before anyone saw him. No sense struggling then. His overgrown finger and toenails were cut down to size in moments. There was no grime left, but that didn't stop them from thoroughly scrubbing them. They were all smooth and rounded by the end, not sharp or jagged but about as harmless as it was possible to make them. Emeli almost looked readly to let him go after that, but then one final thought came to mind. "They won't notice all our hard work if we leave them like that. What colour should we paint them?" she asked her Daemonettes

"Green!"
"Pink!"
"Silver!"

"What about all of them at once? We need Nurgle to really see what Slaanesh can do to clean up his Great... oh that's perfect. Yes, Nurgle shall see our newly created Great Clean One!" she cried, before breaking down into tears of mirth. Many of the Daemonettes did the same, though Gurug'ath noted that they were still quick to obey her orders. Now his nails were multicoloured, the horror! What was so wrong with brown, earthy colours? Those would survive any work and toil, being replaced by every action in the Garden of Nurgle, this garish stuff would chip and be gone in no time. Although, that was probably a good thing. A fixing substance applied liberally over his fingers dashed that hope rather rapidly, but entropy would win... eventually...

Once again, Emeli seemed ready to let him go, but one final thought became multiple, and he was sprayed with Fiend musk, then forced to devour a packet of extra-strength breath mints, and then had his horns covered in various ornamentations. On and on it went, until Emeli finally grew bored of it. "Gurugath, I take back what I said earlier. You are a fine looking Great Clean One. In fact, you look so good I'm sure all of the other Daemons of Nurgle will want to see, and I'm going to make sure your understandable self-consciousness doesn't get in the way. I'm sending you back to the Garden of Nurgle, with my Daemonettes there to guide you in case you manage to get lost on the way there. Then you can deliver my love's message, and all will be well. My door is open to you any time if you want another makeover. In fact, it's open to any of your kind, it would be so wonderful to do this again sometime".

Gurug'ath shuddered. Her smile was far too sincere, she actually would do this again if by some impossibility he or any of the other daemons asked. There was no escape either. He wasn't going to be able to escape into the Wastes and destroy these cursed ornaments, he was going to have to face the other Great Unclean Ones like this. Oh by Nurgle, what ever was he going to do?!