Penal Rave

by leobkenn

Greg and Rodrick Heffley are busted for kidnapping and sentenced via the Zootopian court system to community service with Disney Afternoon villain, Don Karnage. But Karnage opts to put Greg and Rodrick at risk, just to make it all lucrative for himself. How will Greg and Rodrick adapt to a skilled task they've never undertaken before?

Chapter 1

Greg and Rodrick Heffley were flying to Zootopia, on Frontier Airlines, for a much needed break from their little brother, Manny and to give both of their parents a break as well. So Rodrick was trusted as Greg's chaperon but was sound asleep in the aisle seat, next to Greg, in the front section of the plane, making Greg somewhat worried about disembarking on time. Greg wrapped up the time spent writing in his diary and was getting eager, shaking Rodrick on the shoulder. "Rodrick, it's almost time to land. Make sure we're not leaving anything behind."

Rodrick rolled partway over, in his seat, barely waking up and groaning. He slowly opened his eyes and gained consciousness. "Greg, are we there, already?"

"Better brace yourself," Greg answered. "The plane is already about to land."

Once the plane arrived, and the door was open, Greg and Rodrick grabbed their carry on luggage from the overhead compartment and under the seats in front of them. From there, the were among the first ones off the plane, and Rodrick pulled Greg aside, into a stall, in the men's bathroom, for a hefty plot. "Greg," said Rodrick. "you see how some animals here are a lot smaller than others?"

"Yes," answered Greg with a smile.

"And that makes them totally vulnerable to kidnapping," Rodrick explained. "That way, we can hold one hostage in our hotel room and phone in a ransom."

"Rodrick," argued Greg. "That'll get us both arrested."

"I thought you might say that," said Rodrick. "So we'll be picking up some mace from Auto Zone." So he and Greg booked their rental car and hotel room, picked up some inexpensive pepper spray as planned, and both grabbed their hotel keys. Following that, they both tested their keys on their hotel room, and both worked perfectly. From there, Rodrick briefed Greg further. "Okay Greg, here's the plan. First, we go out into town and find whatever small creature is most vulnerable and if possible, valuable. Then, while none of the authorities are looking, you grab him by his or her ankle. I'll open the car trunk. You throw him in there, immediately close the trunk, and quickly get in with me. Finally, we slip away unnoticed, tickle torture our victim for his or her family's phone number, and phone in the ransom. Crucially, though, don't forget to secure the hotel room. And you and I will split the ransom 50-50. You got that?"

"You got it, Rodrick," said Greg. So the Heffley Brothers locked their valuables in their hotel room, got in their rental Toyota, and casually headed for a populated area, where they spotted a prairie dog, in a full Las Palmas uniform, taking his break, out front.

"You ready with the course of action?" Rodrick asked Greg.

"I sure am," Greg answered with a smile. So he stepped out of the car and casually made his way to Las Palmas, where he saw the prairie dog out front, on the bench.

Greg casually made his way over to his vulnerable target and made his move. He grabbed the prairie dog by his ankle and quickly hauled him straight to the car, where Rodrick was waiting. "Help! Help!" cried the prairie dog.

The Kangaroo manager hurried out front to see what was happening. "Hey you! Come back with my waiter!" But it was too late. Greg threw the prairie dog in the trunk. Rodrick locked him in. They both got in the car in a flash. And Rodrick made a clean getaway or so he thought. In mere moments, four police cars were on their tail with lights and sirens blaring.

Needless to say, Rodrick floored it. "You'll never take me alive, Zootopia!" So he headed straight for the open road for speed.

"Rodrick!" cried Greg. "You're gonna get us killed out here!"

The Zootopia police units made their announcements in a hurry. "Stop before you get hurt!"

"I told you this was dangerous!" whaled Greg.

"This is just like your racing games," Rodrick assured Greg. "It's the thrill of a chase."

"Not thrill!" squealed Greg. "Danger! You're putting both of our lives at risk out here!"

The prairie dog banged on the inside of the trunk while Greg and Rodrick heard him ever faintly. "Get me out of here!"

Rodrick pressed on at up to 140 miles an hour. "We're not quitters, Greg. We're gonna make $3,000 from this chase or die trying."

Chapter 2

Two hours later, it was dark outside. But the chase was still burning strong. Rodrick was still dodging one motorist after another, who were mostly going only half his speed. And Greg was getting all the more anxious. "Rodrick! If you get us killed, there's no coming back!"

"Remember the matter at hand," Rodrick reminded Greg. "Cash in on this kidnapping or die trying."

Zootopia law enforcement attempted to appeal to the boys. "Stop before you drown your friends and family in grief!"

"See, Rodrick?" asked Greg. "We really don't want to continue in this chase!"

Before Rodrick could dispute any further, he hit a spike strip. The the Heffley Brothers went straight to jail. Next thing they knew they were in court for an arraignment, and the elephant judge decided to put their honesty to the test. "Greg and Rodrick Heffley, how do you plead in kidnapping an adult, male prairie dog?"

Greg didn't want any more trouble than there needed to be and didn't want the court process to take any longer than it had to, so he came clean. "Guilty, your honor."

Rodrick saw the look on Greg's face and decided not to take the deception any further. "Guilty, your honor."

The judge wasted no time, moving forward. "Rodrick, you are the older brother, so the next court decision is yours. For your sentence, you and Greg each get 800 hours of community service. So you can do it all with either A. Dawn Bellweather, B. Flick Duck, or C. Sean Boswell. Who are you going for?"

Moments later, Rodrick came up with an answer. "You honor, Greg and I wish to do our community service with Flick Duck. Final decision."

"That's settled, then," replied the judge. ""I'll have your belongings retrieved, your rental car returned, and your hotel keys turned in. Following that, you'll be on the midnight flight, tonight, to your new place of work." So Greg and Rodrick caught their early flight out of Zootopia with no idea where they were headed.

Greg and Rodrick arrived and disembarked at Denver International Airport, and the welcome committee for the both of them was someone Greg had once seen at Comicon, the feared pirate turned aerobaric pilot, Don Karnage (Kar-naj), who first addressed Rodrick. "Sir, I understand you're Rodrick Heffley."

"I sure am," said Rodrick.

"And I understand that's your little brother, Greg," Don Karnage continued.

"Yes, Don Karnage," answered Greg. "I am."

Karnage carried on. "Greg, Rodrick, I have an important job for both of you. Come with me." So he led both of them out to the airport pavement, where they all boarded Don Karnage's CH-47 Chinook Helicopter.

Greg and Rodrick found themselves high in the sky, and Rodrick was enjoying it. "I've always wanted a nice helicopter ride."

Greg, on the other hand, was anxious. "Karnage, Karnage! Can you please fly lower? I'm frightened up here!"

Don Karnage wasn't giving in that easily. "You'd better get used to it, my boy. You'll soon be facing five times this altitude." Little did either of them know that Rodrick was filming them on his smartphone.

"No! Please, No!" cried Greg on his knees. "Anything but that! Anything but that!"

Don Karnage tried counseling Greg. "I admit, I was nervous about altitude when I was your age. I had some hard work to do on my family farm, free of charge, so I ran away in my father's crop duster, never to return. That's how I learned how to fly. But if it has wings or a rotor, I can fly it."

Greg shared some of his story, too. "I've been dealing with a considerably rough childhood, myself, but I just can't imagine running away from home, at least not this young."

Don Karnage landed the helicopter at what appeared to be a large distribution center, not only with big rigs, labeled Karnage Transport, but also with cargo jets, labeled Karnage Air Freight. In fact, he landed right next to one of those jets shut down his chopper, and made a further announcement. "Greg, Rodrick, there's someone important, right here, who I wish to introduce both of you to. He's my finest pilot out here. He's always capable of cheering me up. And he played the small part in helping me win a 60 hour, competitive logging contest, designed with productivity in mind."

Chapter 3

Don Karnage continued. "Say hello to Flick Duck."

The duck was wearing a Karnage Air Freight jumpsuit but only looked eight or nine years old when he introduced himself, first, shaking hands with Greg. "I'm Flick Duck. You must be Greg Heffley."

"I sure am," said Greg, stepping out of the chopper with Don Karnage and Rodrick.

"Flick," said Don Karnage. "This is Rodrick. He and his little brother, Greg, will be working with us during their 800 hour community service sentence. Greg, Rodrick, we'll be loading and delivering food and supplies to oil wells, mines, and other remote locations in Alaska and northern Canada so no one has to waste money on building an ice road to haul it all by truck. For our first mission, we'll be hauling some heavy duty tires to a mine, already programmed into the plane's GPS, and our cargo will be arriving any second now. Rodrick, go ahead and guide the trucks into the back of the plane in reverse."

Rodrick took a good look around, and sure enough, there were eight flatbed trucks arriving, all loaded with just the right tires for a giant dump truck. The first driver was Gosalyn Mallard, who handed Rodrick a walkies-talkie and touched base with him. "Just make sure I back safely into the plane."

Rodrick turned it on and made sure it was working. "Contact."

"Contact," said Gosalyn on the other end.

It was already late. So Rodrick was getting drowsy. But he still took the instructions one step at a time. "Okay Gosalyn, back it up… Cut the wheel to the right… Cut it a little to the left."

Minutes later, Gosalyn was backed up all the way to the front of the plane's belly and stepped out of the truck. "Stand back, sir." And she unstrapped the heavy duty tires, got back in her truck, and as she drove out of the plane, the tires rolled off the truck by means of the much smaller rollers under them, falling right into place.

Rodrick repeated the process with the other seven trucks. And once all the tires were on board, he reported back to Don Karnage. "The load is all in, Mr. Karnage."

"Excellent going, Rodrick," encouraged Don Karnage. And Greg was right there with them for the next orders. "Greg, Rodrick, I already have the plane fueled up, the galley stocked, the GPS programmed, and the lavatory tank emptied. From here, you'll be the pilot and co-pilot, taking eight minute turns, flying the plane, for the first leg of the flight. After that, Flick and I will be the pilots, because it's my job to land the plane. Are you ready?"

Rodrick had the enthusiasm. "I've always wanted to see what it's like to fly a big aircraft."

"I just don't know if I can handle the altitude for that long," remarked Greg.

"Not to worry, Greg," said Don Karnage. "Rodrick can easily handle the first eight minutes of flying. Speaking of flying, it's time to get going." So they all got on board with Rodrick in the pilot's seat, Greg in the co-pilot's seat, and Flick Duck and Don Karnage both in the bunks.

Rodrick followed the follow me car out to the very beginning of the runway and minutes later, was addressed by air traffic control. "Greg and Rodrick Heffley, you are cleared for takeoff. So Rodrick accelerated all four of the plane's superior engines to full throttle and once airborne, soon figured out how to retract the landing gear.

Greg slouched in his seat and covered his eyes in horror. "Please don't crash! Please don't crash! Please don't crash!" A couple minutes later, he reluctantly peeked out the windshield to see the lights of Denver, and he had to admit it was a pretty cool view. "I have to hand it to you, Rodrick. You're a considerably brave pilot."

"And I'm confident in you too," said Rodrick with a yawn. "I just don't know if I can make it through my first eight minutes without falling asleep."

"I know just what you're talking about," said Greg. "But you are capable of staying awake while driving, at least around town. "I'm sure you can make it the remaining five minutes of your stint."

Rodrick grew braver yet. "This kind of community service is gonna be an advantage on my job resume, but I am getting tired up here. Why don't you go ahead and take over?"

"Good idea, Rodrick," encouraged Greg, taking the steering yoke, but as soon as he had it in his hands, Rodrick was sound asleep. And that got Greg thinking. As a totally skilled job, this kind of community service could probably look good on his resume, too. In fact, he likely wouldn't even have to describe it as community service. He could likely make the potential employer think it was a well paying job. It could likely give him an advantage towards flying for UPS or FedEx. Such an employer might require him to cover a Christmas day shift, but as long as it was lucrative, it would be well worth it.

While Greg was enjoying his early stint, flying one of Don Karnage's exclusive cargo jets, back in the bunk, Karnage, himself, was texting his BFF, Megavolt. "Good news, Megavolt. Greg and Rodrick Heffley are doing airborne community service with me and Flick, so we might be able to put both of them to work in a museum heist."

Chapter 4

Four minutes later, Megavolt texted back. "I've read all about Rodrick, and it sounds like he could be an excellent distraction. I'll bet with my electrical superpower I could be the one to defend you if the guards come running. And if we need someone who can get into tight spaces, Greg might work. If not, The Liquidator might work."

Meanwhile, up in the cockpit, Greg saw the signal on the clock and alerted Rodrick. "Rodrick, it's time for your second stint."

"Not a problem, Greg," said Rodrick with a smile and grabbed the steering yoke. But he also figured out what else was on the plane's GPS and hit some deliberate turbulence, shaking the rest of the plane's occupants all over the place.

Don Karnage held on tight in the nick of time while Flick tumbled from his bunk with his blanket in two. "Cheese and Quackers! This is some crazy turbulence!"

The matter was equally rough for Don Karnage. "Those boys woke me up like an earthquake!"

"Rodrick!" cried Greg. "We don't want a high dollar freight claim out here!"

"Don't be a worrier, Greg," confided Rodrick. "We're having a blast up here."

"You're forgetting something!" cried Greg. "Don Karnage and Flick Duck still need their sleep up here! We don't want to keep either of them awake!"

"Don't like the rough layers?" asked Rodrick. "Okay." And he directed the plane downwards, causing Flick to tumble forwards, out of his blanket, straight to the door behind the cockpit, and he was more terrified than he had ever seen his friend, Munchy. Munchy, in fact, got nervous about a lot of things, often including flying. 14 seconds later, Rodrick pulled the plane up again, and Flick was able to walk back to bed and go back to sleep.

With Rodrick goofing off, Greg was getting concerned. "Rodrick, we really don't want to wreck this multi million dollar plane. Even though you drive a cheap van, wrecking this good of an aircraft would be a much bigger liability."

"That's why this trip requires four pilots," said Rodrick. "Don Karnage knows that on this long of a flight, maximum alertness is vital. And the thick turbulence was just a bit of fun."

"That's because we have to do the job right," asserted Greg. "We might not be getting paid for this flight. But if we wreck this plane, we're done for."

Before the debating could go much further, Rodrick saw the next signal on the clock. "Greg Time for your next stint."

"You got it, Rodrick," said Greg. And as soon as Greg grabbed the steering yoke on the right hand side, Rodrick fell fast asleep yet again.

At this point, in the flight, Don Karnage was also fast asleep, and Flick was the one texting Megavolt. "Megavolt, what would be a good museum to pull a heist on? And what would be good roles, in it, for Greg and Rodrick?"

He heard back from Megavolt shortly. "A good museum to pull a heist on would be The National Museum of Motorsports. Rodrick is totally good with a paintball gun, so he'd probably be stellar with a tranquilizer gun. Either you or Greg would be ideal for tight squeezes. I could shut down the museum surveillance system. Three or four of us would have to double as getaway drivers in order to haul away the best exhibits. And we both know that Don Karnage would be our ideal getaway pilot."

Flick wasted no time, texting back. "Sounds like an epic plan." And before long, he was fast asleep, too.

Greg hit some unintentional turbulence and got scared that he'd be the big liability. "Please don't let me crash! Please don't let me crash! Please don't let me crash!" And he struggled to keep it all together. But even through the totally unsteady ride, Rodrick remained fast asleep. So he and Greg wouldn't be working together against this big matter. The turbulence continued to hit, and it still didn't wake up Rodrick. And Greg had no indication that Don Karnage or even Flick was awake back in the cabin. Minutes later, he saw the signal on the plane's clock again. "Rodrick, time for your next stint."

Rodrick woke up slowly. "I should be able to handle this without much trouble." And he wasted no time, grabbing the steering yoke on his side. That was when a thunderstorm rolled in.

Greg had lived through thunderstorms before. But in an airborne position, this one was petrifying. So Greg prayed out loud with his eyes shielded. "Please don't strike the plane! Please don't strike the plane! Please don't strike the plane! Please don't strike the plane!" And he was too frightened, even to take a power nap like he'd done before. He turned around and held on tight to his seat back for dear life, but the storm was still a huge scare. He couldn't help but scream and dread the double funeral that he and Rodrick would inflict as soon as word got out about the huge crash landing. The storm went on, and Rodrick seemed totally confident in the multi million dollar cargo jet.

Rodrick was in the middle of his 17th stint when he and Greg heard footsteps in the back. "Is it just me?" asked Rodrick. "Or are Don Karnage and Flick creeping around back there?"

"It sure sounds like they are," Greg had to admit. "But neither of us has ever learned how to land the plane. So if they're both going skydiving, we're in huge trouble!" And following that brief discussion, Greg and Rodrick heard a big, loud clatter coming from behind them.

Chapter 5

Greg ran to the back of the plane to catch Don Karnage and Flick Duck doing the unthinkable. Flick pulled a lever in the plane's cargo bay, declaring a procedure. "So long, cargo!" The unloading alarm went off, The plane's back door opened up. And out went all the heavy duty tires.

Greg worried that he and Rodrick were gonna be hit with a lawsuit, but then, he saw parachutes opening up to break the fall for all those tires. "Thank goodness for all those parachutes," he remarked before returning to the cockpit.

Greg had only been seated for a minute when Don Karnage came to see him and Rodrick in the cockpit. "Rodrick, you and Greg can go to bed now. Greg, Steer for just a second while I take Rodrick's seat."

"Yes, Captain," said Greg and took the steering yoke one more time. Rodrick got up. Don Karnage grabbed the steering yoke. And Greg called him into question. "Just what were you and Flick thinking, pushing out all that heavy cargo?"

Don Karnage emitted a smile. "I guess you haven't heard. Our cargo planes all do that by design. Besides, most of these destinations would be a dangerous place for an aircraft this size to land. And like I said, we're doing this in the high north, so we don't have to build a $16,000,000 ice road. Furthermore, there's a lot less risk of falling through the ice."

"That's quite the point," said Greg. "but right now, I need some sleep." And he went right to the bunks, where Rodrick was already sound asleep. Don Karnage steered the plane in a U-turn. And Flick took over the co-pilot seat.

Greg and Rodrick woke up to broad daylight and a hefty amount of forward gravity. So they both knew the plane was landing. But they were, at least, feeling totally refreshed. And Rodrick got up in a hurry to check for an update. "Mr. Karnage, is our next load almost here, yet?"

Don Karnage answered with a yawn. "Our next load isn't here, yet. So why don't you and Greg help yourselves to some peanut butter waffles in the back?"

"We'll gladly do that," said Rodrick with a smile and wasted no time, putting two waffles in the toaster for himself.

After a nice, refreshing breakfast, Don Karnage made a further announcement. "Greg, Rodrick, Flick, our next load is headed for the same open pit mine as before, only we'll be hauling eight full trailer loads of biodiesel, all with an attached parachute. It'll be arriving any minute now."

"That sounds like ultimate skilled job credibility," remarked Rodrick.

"I don't think it's safe," Greg objected.

"Of course it's safe," answered Don Karnage. "First of all, air travel is known for safety. Second of all, there's no ice up there to fall through and therefore, no freezing water to get dunked in."

"That's quite the point," remarked Rodrick.

Before the debate could go any further, all eight tankers pulled into the airport. Don Karnage opened up both ends of the plane. One by one, the trucks dropped off their trailers in the plane's belly. And Don Karnage handed a handful of ratchet straps to Greg and Rodrick. "Rodrick, Greg, get in there and strap those trailers down while I do the plane's maintenance check." And with that, he hit the button to close up the plane's front end and climbed right up there.

Meanwhile, Rodrick got to the first trailer in a jiffy and gave the further instructions. "Greg, get on the other side of this first trailer from me." And as soon as Greg did, Rodrick threw the hook right over it. "Catch."

"Ouch!" cried Greg. "You hit me in the elbow."

"Sorry about that, Greg," said Rodrick.

"Rodrick," said Greg, hooking up the strap. "Is it okay of I do the other side while you carry on with this side?"

"Sure, you can," said Rodrick. "Just don't get any of that fuel on your hands."

Greg moved right on to the first trailer on the left and threw the hooked end of the strap over it. But he accidentally got the strap hooked on the cargo bay's ceiling. He climbed the ladder to the top of the trailer to dislodge it and was on his toes to reach it when he slipped and fell to the floor. He wanted to take time to recover but found himself pressed for time and found a loose mop to dislodge the otherwise out of reach ratchet strap. He threw the hook over the first trailer on the left again and this time, it went just where he needed it. He did manage to strap down all the biodiesel trailers on his side. But his back was hurting badly. So he reported his injury to Don Karnage. "Mr. Karnage, I just hurt my back, strapping the first trailer down."

"I'll take you to the hospital," said Don Karnage. "But after that, you still have 795 community service hours to burn through before you're off the hook." So he carried Greg to his helicopter and flew him off for the nearest hospital.

Chapter 6

Five minutes later, Don Karnage returned. The plane was ready. But Karnage had some bad news. "Rodrick, I just had to take your brother, Greg, to the hospital for his badly aching back. And his expected stay is three weeks. So I've brought in a reserve pilot. And here he is."

Flick and Rodrick took a good, hard look to see Rodrick's band member, Bill Walter stepping in, and Rodrick was thrilled. "Bill, long time, no see! How are things back home in Westmore?"

Bill wasted no time, coming clean. "Honestly, not that great. I received a community service sentence for involvement in organized shoplifting when I ganged up with some teenagers to shoplift five MacBook Pros. One of them duplicated his dad's truck key without his knowledge. And with that at our disposal, I volunteered as the getaway driver. But one of those kids turned greedy and betrayed me."

"Alright guys," said Don Karnage. "The plane is ready to fly, and our destination is not gonna just come to us, so we better get going."

"Right, you are, my friend," said Flick with a smile. "Come on, Bill. Come on, Rodrick."

Rodrick taxied the plane out to the beginning of the runway with Bill by his side as the new co-pilot while Don Karnage and Flick Duck were both napping in the bunks. And in minutes, Air traffic control addressed Rodrick. "Rodrick Heffley, you are cleared for takeoff." And with that, Rodrick gave all four of the plane's engines full throttle and took to the skies.

At first, Bill was anxious about sitting up front in such a big, powerful aircraft, but minutes later, he managed to calm down and addressed Rodrick. "So tell me, Rodrick. What exactly brought you out of the band?"

"Rightfully," answered Rodrick. "I'm still in, but Greg and I both received an 800 hour community service sentence for kidnapping a prairie dog in Zootopia. We both thought he'd be an easy cash target, but the cops chased us down a long, long way."

"That sounds like it could have gotten both of you killed," remarked Bill. "And I still have a bad feeling that this community service could."

"Let's not worry too much," urged Rodrick "This is a skilled job, so the good news for both of us is it'll look good on our resumes."

"Not to mention," added Bill. "It feels so good to finally be productive."

"Better yet," remarked Rodrick. "We both have the thrill of operating powerful machinery." Moment's later, he saw the signal on the plane's digital click. "Speaking of operating machinery, I believe it's your turn to take the controls now. Just be sure to follow the GPS."

Bill wasted no time, grabbing the steering yoke on the right hand side, and as soon as he did, Rodrick fell fast asleep on the left.

While Rodrick was simply asleep, Greg was only trying to recover in the hospital. He was allowed out of his room if only on crutches but at least had the sense to stay socially active. Among his fellow patents were Munchy Beaver, Jelly Otter, Chirag Gupta, and Honker Muddlefoot. And Honker's obvious condition gave Greg the creeps. "Sir, I understand you're Honker Muddlefoot."

"Indeed, I am," answered Honker.

"You look like you've been in some serious pain," remarked Greg "Not that it's any of my business, but what happened?"

"I don't know how to safely tell you this," answered Honker. "But I looked into joining an underground fraternity. And they hazed my by removing the bulb from a desk lamp, plugging it in, turning it on, and tossing it into the shower."

"That just doesn't sound loyal of them," remarked Greg.

"That sounds 20 times worse than what my friend, Flick would do," remarked Munchy. "But there was this one time he made me and Jelly think he was a monster."

"A monster?" questioned Greg. "How did he do that?"

"Trust me," answered Jelly. "You don't want to know."

"But I will say," admitted Munchy. "Flick has successfully pranked us a lot."

The social activity continued on the ground, but in the sky, Bill was getting anxious. "Rodrick, how are we gonna land this plane?"

"How should I know?" Rodrick questioned. "I'm not an airline pilot."

"But we are flying air freight," Bill pointed out. "Not passengers."

"This is just my community service sentence," Rodrick reminded Bill. "Remember?"

Chapter 7

Don Karnage quickly addressed Bill and Rodrick over the plane's intercom. "Vital reminder. It's your job to take off. It's my job to land. I'm the expert pilot up here.

Rodrick confided in Bill. "One time, on TV, I saw Don Karnage in the Oregon State 6000 logging contest. And reportedly, he recruited three kids from Lake Hoohaw to help keep his helicopter airborne."

"Did it work well for him?" asked Bill.

"Actually, yes," said Rodrick. "He won the $800,000 cash prize and shared it with them."

"I've seen him on TV, too," added Bill. "It was in the Tri State Zooathlon down in Danville. He proved to be an expert air racing pilot, and Megavolt, even as one of his competitors, is reportedly his BFF." And Bill saw the signal on the clock. "Rodrick, it's your turn to take the controls."

"Right, you are, brother," Rodrick remarked. "But if I'm honest, I'm still more used to a cheap van than a powerful cargo jet."

"Not to mention riding shotgun at a five mile altitude," added Bill.

While the flight went on without Greg, he was having an X-ray carried out on his back and not looking forward to seeing the outcome. One possibility on his mind was being on crutches or even in a wheelchair for life. Another was not being able to enjoy summer vacation the way he once did. The doctor walked in and gave him the news. "Greg, I want to talk to you a little bit about what we're gonna have to do. You are gonna need surgery on your back."

"That sounds like a nightmare," Greg remarked.

"If it's any help," said the doctor. "you'll, at least be totally sedated during the procedure."

"That makes me even more nervous," remarked Greg. "I wouldn't even be able to wake up in the nick of time if my surgery went south on me."

"We're gonna have to sedate you anyway," replied the doctor with a look of dread. "If a patent woke up in the middle of surgery, they could dangerously panic or even die of shock."

"I'll admit," Greg conceded. "my dad and my older brother have both had a bitter taste of what EMS goes through every day. And they both know it's no pleasure."

Greg was still nervous. "I just won't be able to finish my community service sentence if my surgery goes wrong."

A short time later, in the sky, Bill and Rodrick were just approaching their destination when they both heard a sound that made Bill even more anxious. The plane's back door was opening wide, and Bill was calling the matter into question. "Rodrick, did you trip something?"

"I didn't," Rodrick answered. "Don Karnage did airborne unloading while Greg and I were out here, on our first flight."

Bill heard a rolling noise coming from the back of the plane, which made him even more nervous and pushed the steering yoke forward, making the plane dive, but that maneuver only sent the fuel trailers out the back faster. Don Karnage and Flick were holding the ladder for dear life, and Karnage was in a critical shouting moment. "Bill! Rodrick! Pull up!"

Rodrick did so, and that sent out the last couple trailers of biodiesel in a hurry. But it also made it harder for Karnage and Flick to climb back up into the cabin. They soon did make it back in, and Don Karnage made a further announcement. "Bill, Rodrick, you can both go to bed now."

"Finally," said Bill and wasted no time, doing so.

Flick took Bill's place as co-pilot and when Rodrick got up, steered the plane in a U-turn. "This has been quite the adventure."

While Rodrick was on his way to bed, Don Karnage sat down, as pilot, on Flick's left hand side and laid back for a much needed nap. Meanwhile, in the plane's bunk bed, Rodrick addressed Bill from the upper bunk. "Hey, Bill."

"Yes, Rodrick," said Bill with a yawn.

Rodrick continued. "How big is your community service sentence?"

"When I went to court," answered Bill. "I received 200 hours of community service. What about you?"

Rodrick answered with dread. "Greg and I both received 800 hours, and worse yet, Greg had to go to the hospital."

"I just hope he can get better," said Bill. "because any friend of yours is a friend of mine. Your mom mentioned that having a brother was an important relationship. And especially it you both have kids of your own, it is."

"Greg's been hospitalized before," said Rodrick. "so he should get better sooner or later."

"It's too bad for his friend, Rowley," added Bill. "Even though Rowley gets most of the attention from his parents, he'll sadly never be Uncle Rowley to anyone."

Meanwhile, up in the cockpit, Don Karnage was starting to wake up. And Flick brought up something memorable. "So Mr. Karnage, where are the rest of the air pirates?"

"They're not air pirates anymore," Karnage answered. "They're now acrobats. We've been going on seasonal aerobatic tours in the summer. And we've had hundreds of thousands of spectators along the way. But now, in this winter weather, we're hauling cargo by air."

"…so no one has to build a high cost ice road," finished Flick.

"Precisely," said Don Karnage with a smile. "Building an ice road would not only cost millions of dollars, but it would also have to be rebuilt annually. It's a huge waste of money if you ask me."

"And this whole air freight business all makes sense to me," said Flick with a smile and moments later, saw the signal on the plane's digital clock. "Don Karnage, it's your turn to take the controls."

"It would be my pleasure," said Karnage with a smile and took the steering yoke.

Meanwhile, back in the bunk, Bill brought up the usual matter. "Hey Rodrick, where do you want to take Loded Diper from where we left off?"

Chapter 8

Rodrick was encouraged. "That is an excellent question. From where we left off in it, after you finish your community service sentence, I want you to carry out some unpaid concerts, autographing posters, posing for photos, and even carrying out the royal treatment, especially to our teenage audience, because, of course, they're our target audience. In fact, feel free to write some new songs for us if you can. Whatever it takes, show our target audience maximum loyalty. You got that?"

"You got it, brother," answered Bill. "Your teenage target audience gets maximum loyalty from me and from the rest of the band."

Moving forward, the crew of four pilots, alongside other crews, delivered one commodity after another to mines, oil reserves, and other locations, in need, in both Alaska and northern Canada. Rodrick always had the job of taking off. As the most experienced pilot on the crew, Don Karnage always had the job of landing. And they came together like a well oiled helicopter, working together to deliver many different commodities from biogas, to computers, to farm fresh produce.

Bill was just about to finish his community service hours when Greg returned from the hospital. The first thing in order was a group hug between Rodrick, Greg, and Bill. And Bill had some coaching to do. "Greg, I just promised Rodrick I'd take care of and promote Loded Diper for him during the rest of his community service sentence. And I need you to look out for him during his remaining 590 hours. Do you think you could do that for me?"

"I'll gladly do that," said Greg. "He's my brother, and there's nothing I wouldn't do to help him."

"I'll be at this airport as a passenger," said Bill. "And I'll see both of you back home in Westmore." And he left for his flight home without another word.

As soon as Bill was out of sight, Don Karnage addressed Rodrick, Flick, and Greg, simultaneously. "Rodrick, Greg, Flick, you've all done an excellent job, hauling high cost cargo. Now, I need you to haul heavy artillery for revenge on the Carolina Panthers. And there's one additional guy we need for all this. He's a totally close friend and ally to me. He'll do anything to defeat a less than memorable superhero. And he has an electrical superpower. Please welcome Megavolt."

Megavolt arrived in his Tesla with a smile on his face and seemed to know just who he'd be working with. "Flick, I know I've worked with you before. And the two of you must be Greg and Rodrick Heffley."

"How do you know all that?" asked Greg.

"I've read all your diaries," answered Megavolt. "And it all says you're a wimpy kid."

Before Greg could get defensive, Don Karnage quickly carried on. "Now for our next big plan. We get the plane ready today. Tonight, we take off for Nashville, Tennessee, where there's an Army base. We're gonna fully prep the plane for takeoff ahead of time, take an Uber to the base, and get right down to business. Megavolt, your first task is to shut down the base's entire surveillance system and use your electrical superpower to utilize the ignition systems of four tanks. Then, you, Greg, Flick, and Rodrick, each grab one. From there, I'll navigate all of you back to the plane. Then, we'll load all four tanks into the plane and take off." So he and Megavolt wasted no time, getting their cargo plane fueled and ready to take off.

That night, Greg got a welcome break from flying the plane. Rodrick took the plane's controls with Megavolt as his co-pilot. They got the all clear from air traffic control. And Rodrick gave the plane full acceleration. "Carolina Panthers we're on the war path."

Flick and Don Karnage had no trouble falling asleep, but there was no bunk for Greg. He tried to sleep on the floor of the plane's sleeper compartment only to tale a backward tumble against the wall. He had faced airborne anxiety before, but without even a seat belt, he could barely keep it together, pep talking to himself out loud. "I'm not wimpy! I'm not wimpy! I'm not wimpy! I'm not wimpy!" He had been in an average van with Rodrick at the wheel, but such a position in a large plane allowed him to hear his heart pounding, even over the jet noise and turbulence.

Chapter 9

Greg now tried another pep talk on himself. "Rodrick won't be landing the plane! Rodrick won't be landing the plane! Rodrick won't be landing the plane!" But he was still overcome with anxiety. He thought about waking up Don Karnage or Flick, but he was in no position to deal with such a grumpy attitude. Not to mention, Don Karnage had to be at his best when it was time to land. That was just what Greg had a feeling about, because Karnage had repeatedly let him and Rodrick take off in the plane but had consistently taken it upon himself to land the flying behemoth. In any event, Greg knew that just such an aircraft could never be cheap.

Meanwhile, up in the cockpit, Rodrick had a bright idea. "Megavolt, since we're not carrying any cargo right now, I'm gonna toss Greg around in the back." And he deliberately hit heavy turbulence.

"Now, hold on there," urged Megavolt. "You don't want to wake up Don Karnage or Flick. I know that landing is the hard part, because I've been flying the Sea Duck for Higher for Hire. So Karnage has to be at his best when it's time to land."

"Come on, Megavolt," urged Rodrick. "It'll be a blast. I've had the absolute time of my life, rattling him and Rowley around in the back of my cheap van. Besides, neither of us has to land this plane."

"Well then," said Megavolt. "If you know so well what you're doing, I'll just sit back and take it easy for a further 20 minutes."

While Rodrick was having a blast in the captain's chair, Greg tried a new safety technique in the sleeper compartment. He braced his feet against the lower bunk, where Don Karnage was sleeping and his shoulders against the wall to secure himself from the harsh turbulence that Rodrick was maintaining. But minutes later, he felt a terrible loss of energy in his legs. The next thing he tried was the tour bus sleeping procedure that Rodrick had always talked about. He tried laying down lengthwise on the rug, head to the rear in case of a totally dreaded emergency landing.

Minutes later, Rodrick saw the welcome break signal on the dash and addressed Megavolt. "Megavolt, it's your time to fly now."

"I'll gladly do that," Megavolt said with a smile, and as soon as he took the controls, Rodrick was fast asleep on his left hand side. "I don't know how you do it, but you're a deeper sleeper than big, stupid Baloo in hibernation." In any event, Megavolt soldiered on in full control of the jet.

While Megavolt held the plane steady and at ease, Greg was deep in the land of dreams. He was having the time of his life as one of the Seattle Seahawks cheerleaders a.k.a. the Seahawks Dancers when Rodrick's Chevrolet Astro van physically crashed the party. Open swung the doors. Out stepped the entire Loded Diper Band. And the first to address Greg was Bill. "Enough of all that girly stuff! Get ready to rock!" And they played familiar Loded Diper music at what felt like 180 decibels. Bill waved his magic wand, transforming the van into a brand new tour bus. Then, he waved it at Greg, physically dragging him on board.

From there, Rodrick took the wheel, threw the bus into gear, and peeled out of the stadium like a high powered dune buggy. "Greg, get ready for the absolute ride of your life!" And he merged out onto the interstate without even looking over his shoulder and accelerated to 135 miles an hour.

While Rodrick did some stellar weaving through traffic, Bill did some confiding in Greg. "You know, Greg. You'd make an exceptional addition to Loded Diper. You're very good at figuring things out, so you can probably figure out a way to promote us big time. Maybe even a good way to sell our first album to a good 3,000,000 teenagers. How does that sound?"

Greg hopped out the tour bus' rear window and ran for his life, only to run into Don Karnage and Megavolt, who had another crazy idea. "Well, well, well," said Karnage "If it isn't Greg Heffley."

Megavolt continued the remarks. "We've been told you wanted to do better in sports, so maybe you can be an additional wing walker for our aerobatic circus."

Don Karnage carried on the encouragement. "My experienced wing walker, Kit Cloudkicker, has been yearning for a colleague in his age group, and you look like just the kid to do wing walking tricks with him. Maybe even zip lining, with him, from one airborne plane to another. How does that sound?"

Greg took off running and crying for help. "Rodrick! Bill! I need your help! The wicked forces are after me!" But he tripped over some soda cans on the ground and found himself careening off an impossibly high cliff and crashing down into the deepest pit of who could have ever known what.

Chapter 10

When Greg woke up, it was broad daylight. He saw Don Karnage at the controls, with Flick by his side, just as before, and had mixed feelings about it. He was relieved that the most experienced pilot of the gang was doing the landing as promised but was still dreading where Karnage was taking him and Rodrick. He was badly dreading that he and his memorable brother were about to commit one crime as community service for another and that Don Karnage, Flick, and Megavolt would all manage to evade federal capture for it.

Before Greg could worry any further, Don Karnage used the plane's intercom. "Attention. Attention my precious crew. I just ordered the fuel truck, and we're about to touch down in Nashville, Tennessee. While we're waiting, we're gonna have some cinnamon rolls for breakfast and get right down to business. That is, I'll be ordering an Uber van for us. Once the van door opens up, we cannot question the logic of my plan until we've all been dropped off, because we strictly cannot have an Uber driver reporting us. And needless to say, we have to have our plane ready and wide open ahead of our big heist." So he steadily touched down on the runway as before, applied the plane's brakes, and got right out of the way for the next incoming flight just like a college educated pilot would have done.

The fuel truck came and went, fully refueling Karnage's behemoth, just like he had planned. The Uber van came as planned. And once the whole gang was inside and on their way to the base, Greg make small talk with Don Karnage in hopes of making him forget his whole plan. "Mr. Karnage, I understand you've had a pilot's license since you were 21."

Karnage opened up to Greg quickly. "I actually learned how fly by running away in my father's crop duster when I was your age, because the Karnage family farm was labor intensive for all of us. In fact, it was a child labor violation. I've had a pilot's license since age 17. And for my first twelve years, it was for the purpose of aerial combat. But when I discovered I could do exceptional aerobatic flying, I upgraded to a commercial pilot's license and gave up being a pirate to become an acrobat."

Greg knew that Don Karnage was trying to get him involved in an even worse crime than piracy, but he tried not to let it show. So he took the whole acrobatic conversation further. "So when is your next acrobatic performance?"

"It's called 'aerobatic flying,'" Don Karnage informed Greg. "and my next performance will be in San Francisco, California on April 4th." Soon, the whole gang arrived at the base, and Don Karnage took them all aside and briefed them on the task at hand. "This is it, everyone. You're all gonna climb over the fence. And once you're inside, we're gonna head straight for the tanks. Megavolt, your additional responsibility is to electrocute armed security before they can stop any of you. And Megavolt, once you, Greg Rodrick, and Flick are each inside one of the tanks, you're gonna use your electrical superpower to start all four of those engines. If the tanks are all locked up, you're gonna use your electrical superpower to melt the licks off. Any questions?"

Rodrick raised his hand.

"Yes, Rodrick," said Karnage.

"How do we stop the security cameras from seeing us?" Rodrick asked.

Before Don Karnage could respond to Rodrick's totally engaging question, there was a purple cloud of smoke only a stone's toss away. It was Megavolt's arch enemy, Darkwing Duck. "I am the terror that flaps in the night. I am the flat tire that costs you the race. I am Darkwing Duck."

Greg thought he was off the hook from the dangerous community service, but Don Karnage sprayed lemon juice in Darkwing Duck's eyes and gave the next urgent order. "Megavolt, get in there and make sure the base's armed security can't stop us! Greg, Rodrick, Flick, get in there with him and grab your weapons while I deal with Darkwing Duck!"

"Yes, your daringness," said Flick with a quick salute and followed the rest of the gang right over the fence. He, Greg, Rodrick, and Megavolt ran in zigzag lines to avoid being shot from the lookout towers, and Megavolt sent high voltage electric shocks in all directions that bullets came from.

Darkwing forced his left eye open for his next move. "Suck gas, evildoer." But before he could pull the trigger, Don Karnage moved out of the way, effectively having the gas wasted. Darkwing tried shooting gas in all directions, hardly able to see, but Karnage continued leaping out of the way time after time.

Don Karnage make his next bold move. "Darkwing, you can't catch me." And he took off running along the fence.

Chapter 11

"I can, and I will," said Darkwing Duck. "I can, and I will." So he gave chase in a hurry only to be sprayed in the eyes with another round of lemon juice. After that, he made another bold move. He tackled Don Karnage to the ground. "I got you now! And I'm gonna hold you right here until the cops show up."

Darkwing was just calling 911 on Don Karnage and his community service gang when the fence was crashed through by one of four stolen tanks, which also pinned Darkwing's feet under its treads, effectively releasing Don Karnage from Darkwing's grip. The hatch opened up. And the driver revealed himself to be Megavolt. "Quick, Karnage! Get in!"

Don Karnage wasted no time, and as soon as he was on board the tank, Megavolt peeled away, and Flick, Rodrick, and Greg all followed in their tanks.

While Don Karnage was directing Megavolt and the rest of the gang back to the airport from Megavolt's stolen tank, eight vigilantes were giving chase with firearms and family SUVs. And Greg had mixed feelings about the whole experience. Part of him was having a blast, driving a heavy duty, American tank on just the kind of mission that he had carried out, in many different antihero video games. The other part of him was ashamed of Rodrick for getting him involved in a crime that he was now trapped in community service for. And in most ways, his and Rodrick's community service for a misdemeanor was soon to me a war crime. He was pretty sure the people in charge of community service weren't above the law, but he wasn't sure how to talk his way out of a task if it was illegal. As far as he had ever found out, people with community service sentences were expected to obey without question. He had enjoyed violent crime in many video games, even on hard mode, but this time, he was dreading the outcome. He hoped the vigilantes could manage what Darkwing Duck had failed and get him off the hook, but Don Karnage had an additional trick up his sleeve. He directed the gang to a difficult, off road route to the airport that he knew few if any SUVs could handle. And it was no problem for the tanks. But the pursuing SUVs bogged all the way down in the rocks and mud. The vigilantes continued on foot, but even in the mud, all four tanks were too fast. When Greg and the rest of the gang reached the airport, the plane was right there, with its back door open, the way they had originally left it. And Greg followed Don Karnage, Megavolt, Flick, and Rodrick into the plane's belly. He was totally ready to give up his heavy artillery if it didn't fit in the plane, but once again, Greg was not off the big, heavy hook. There was room in the cargo bay for all four tanks. Megavolt hit the emergency lockdown button, which sealed the plane's back door in a hurry, and Don Karnage gave the next urgent order. "Flick, Megavolt, strap the tanks down while I fire up the engines!" And he wasted no time, getting into the cockpit to do so.

What Karnage did next was what even Greg knew was unthinkable. He taxied out to the runway in a hurry and with no clearance from air traffic control, took straight to the skies. So Greg was onto him in a flash. "Mr. Karnage, we didn't get clearance from air traffic control."

"We had to take to the skies before the authorities could get to us," Don Karnage explained. "especially Darkwing Duck, who's been all too good at foiling Megavolt's plans. And Megavolt has the true honor of being my BFF."

"I don't know all different flight regulations," argued Greg. "but taking off without clearance from air traffic control is a dangerous practice!"

"Villains like me sometimes have to do dangerous things to get away," said Don Karnage. "and Megavolt is no exception either." Then, he used the plane's intercom. "Alright team, I just fully refueled this plane. So when we land, we'll still have enough fuel to get two of you home to Westmore for the rest of your community service hours, me and Megavolt home to Pirate Island, and one of you home to Lake Hoohaw. Once we're on the North Carolina blacktop and out of the way, the plan is simple. Phase one: Leave the plane ready for takeoff. Phase two: Go straight to Bank of America Stadium. Phase three: Program the airport into your GPS for a clean getaway. Phase four: Destroy Bank of America Stadium to the best of your capability. And finally, Phase five: Follow your GPS straight back to the airport. This time, though, there's no need to load the tanks on board, and I'll stay at the airport as the getaway pilot." When the plane was landed and out of the way, Don Karnage opened up the back door, handed out walkie talkies, and gave the final order. "This is it, everyone. Time to take down the Carolina Panthers. Megavolt, program Bank of America Stadium into Google Maps. Rodrick, Greg, Flick, follow Megavolt there."

Chapter 12

Megavolt took to the road in his special tank, and the other three guys followed him directly to the home turf of the Carolina Panthers without causing any damage on the way. When they all made it there, they all went about their destruction. Rodrick knocked down the first grandstand. Flick went for the home team goal post. Greg went straight for the concession stands. And Megavolt went for the grandstand on the opposite side of the stadium. And this kind of community service made Greg feel like a true antihero, yet in some way, a manipulated henchman. More than anything, though, Greg never could have imagined that he or Rodrick would ever be involved in this kind of community service. Almost as much, though, it was like an antihero video game experience times 35. Destroying a stadium was so thrilling that Greg got carried away and eventually ran out of fuel. "Rodrick, Megavolt, I just ran dry!"

"Me, too!" cried Rodrick over the walkie talkie.

Megavolt addressed them both in a flash. "Don't worry. We can steal a parked car and get to the airport in a jiffy."

"How are we gonna do that?" questioned Flick while he continued the destruction with his tank.

"Remember my electrical superpower?" asked Megavolt. "I can use it in a vehicular ignition system."

Greg and Rodrick both stayed put in their tanks until they heard from Flick. "Megavolt, I just ran dry, too."

Megavolt wasted no time, giving the next order. "Flick, Rodrick, Greg, abandon your tanks and follow me!"

Rodrick, Flick, and Greg followed Megavolt on foot, all the way across the stadium, to a parked Honda Civic. Megavolt used his electrical superpower to unlock it and start up the engine. Rodrick rode shotgun with Megavolt. Flick and Greg both got in the back. And Megavolt peeled out of the parking lot as it he was driving an ambulance on his way to a freak accident. And moments later, they were on the interstate at more than 100 miles an hour. But under a lot less armor, Greg was getting anxious. "Megavolt, are you sure Don Karnage hasn't left us behind?"

Megavolt was totally confident. "I know Don Karnage. He's my BFF and would never leave me behind."

Before Greg, Rodrick, or even Flick could talk further, there was another big cloud of smoke. This time, it was right behind them. The unmistakable sight and sound of a motorcycle emerged from it. And a familiar voice followed through a megaphone. "I am the terror that flaps in the night. I am the freight train that blocks your path at only five miles an hour. I am Darkwing Duck!" And he tried using his gas gun on Megavolt. But right when Darkwing pulled the trigger, Megavolt moved out of the way. And Darkwing overshot his target by a fraction of a mile. Darkwing used his brakes in hopes of getting Megavolt and the gang to catch up with him again. But seconds later he found himself rear ended and flat faced on the nose of a 50 ton Kenworth truck.

Megavolt saw his big chance and made a dash for the airport, where Don Karnage was waiting for them. And they all got on board the plane in a hurry. But Greg was still a little anxious. "Mr. Karnage, I'm sorry about the tanks, but three of them ran dry in the…"

Don Karnage had bigger things on his mind. "Never mind about the tanks. I need to get you and Rodrick home before the cops suspect us. Rodrick, take the controls for the first leg of the flight."

"Aye, aye, captain," said Rodrick and took the controls of the cargo jet in a hurry. But he did the unthinkable, just as before. He took to the sky with no clearance from air traffic control and hit some deliberate turbulence as before. Greg was relieved to make another clean getaway but still felt bad about having Darkwing Duck hurt so badly. In fact, he was now even more suspicious that Don Karnage was breaking the law by making him and Rodrick steal heavy artillery and demolish Bank of America Stadium as part of their community service. In fact, he was also suspicious, by now, that Don Karnage had made him and Rodrick fly a wide body aircraft without nearly the right licensing. He knew he and Rodrick still would have some community service hours when they got home to Westmore and was hoping dearly that he and Rodrick could do it totally legally.

When Greg and Rodrick got home to Westmore, they kicked off their shoes and went separate ways. Rodrick leaned back in the recliner for a nap. And Greg went online to see if his and Rodrick's crazy community service sentence had made the news. And sure enough, there was a YouTube headline, saying, "Bank of America Stadium Destroyed by War Criminals." He clicked on the video, and it made him feel notorious. In most ways, in fact, it made him not want to be famous like he had once planned for. In fact, he had a bad feeling that all his classmates, even Fregley, would fear him. On the bright side, though, he had been feared by his classmates before, because of the cheese touch. And there had been more perks than hardship in it. But the news coverage still made Greg feel like a guilty terrorist.

Epilogue

The following December, before Christmas, there was a creepy knock on the front door. Greg answered it, and it was Don Karnage and Megavolt again, this time, accompanied by Flick in the same jumpsuit as before and Baloo the Bear in his Higher for Hire outfit. And they all carried out the season greeting together. "Merry Christmas, Greg!"

Greg was speechless. He never could have believed that such a hero as Baloo and such villains as Don Karnage and Megavolt would ever be friends. Don Karnage and Megavolt had been friends for years, but Baloo had long been bitter with both of them. And yet, Baloo had more good news. "We brought you and your family some finger licking good cookies to celebrate our new found friendship."

"Did someone say, 'cookies'?" asked Susan Heffley.

"They sure did," answered Greg.

"Well, come on in and have some," said Susan with a smile. "It's not that often that Greg has visitors other than Rowley."

"In fact," encouraged Rodrick. "I think I feel a sleepover coming on."

"We were gonna invite Greg to stay with us at Great Wolf Lodge," said Megavolt with a smile.

"But a sleepover sounds even better," Don Karnage encouraged.

"Not to mention," encouraged Flick. "I've had exceptional sleepovers on Lake Hoohaw with everyone but the Snooties."

Greg still had some hesitations. "Some of my sleepovers with Rowley have gone rather wrong, but I'll gladly do it with you guys."

"Sounds like a plan," encouraged Flick, so they all found the best available places to sleep around the Heffley residence. Megavolt took the guest bedroom. Baloo took the living room couch. Flick made a nest with bath towels under the dining room table. That left Don Karnage with the disused dog bed in the living room. They all made themselves comfortable. And when no one was looking, Don Karnage took a melatonin tablet and set his smartphone alarm for 8:40 am.

The following morning, Don Karnage's alarm went off. He was wide awake. And he could still hear Baloo snoring. He made his way quickly and quietly to the guest bedroom, where Megavolt was still sleeping and gave him a gentile nudge. "Megavolt," he whispered. "I have an early Christmas present for you."

"Do you?" asked Megavolt, now wide awake.

"Yes, I do," answered Don Karnage. "But first, I'm gonna need Greg, Baloo, and Flick wide awake for it as well."

"I'm on it," said Megavolt with a smile and went straight for Greg's room. That was where he clapped his hands five times. "Rise and shine, Greg!"

"Megavolt," Greg questioned. "what are you doing in my bedroom so early?"

Megavolt told it as it was. "My BFF, Don Karnage, wants you, Flick, and Baloo up and at 'em for an early Christmas present."

"If you took the guest bedroom," asked Greg. "Where is Flick?"

"Flick made himself a towel nest under the dining room table," answered Megavolt. "but you should be able to wake him up with one gentile nudge."

"I'm on it," said Greg with a yawn and got dressed in a hoodie and sweatpants.

While Greg went down to the dining room to wake up Flick, Megavolt went straight for Baloo on the living room couch and gave him an electric shock to the exposed butt cheek. "Rise and shine, sleepyhead."

"Megavolt!" cried Baloo in shock. "What's the sudden urgency?!"

Don Karnage was right there with the answer. "We don't want to make Rodrick or Manny jealous of you."

"Jealous about what sort of thing?" questioned Baloo with a yawn.

Don Karnage carried out the next big instruction. "You, Megavolt, Flick, and Greg, come outside with me, and I'll explain." So all four guys followed Don Karnage out to the front yard. And once the front door was closed, Karnage carried out the further instruction. "This early Christmas present is for all four of you, but you must each put on one of these blindfolds before I take you there." And he handed them out to all four recipients. Once they each had one on, Don Karnage lead them all into his CH-47 Chinook Helicopter and took to the sky.

Once airborne, Baloo called the whole setup into question. "Guys, are you sure we can trust Karny with all this?"

"I know we can," Megavolt assured him. "He's my BFF and would never betray me."

"And I trust him, too," added Flick. "He taught me how to fly this very helicopter for the purpose of a productive logging contest."

"You mean it was like helicopter logging?" asked Greg.

"We could use any equipment we wanted," answered Flick. "but we were the only team who went for a helicopter."

Minutes later, Don Karnage landed the chopper on what felt like smooth pavement and gave the next instruction. "Megavolt, take my hand. Baloo, take Megavolt's hand. Flick, Greg, join hands with Baloo." All four recipients joined hands, and Don Karnage guided them in a gradual curve before bringing them to a stop. "Here we are, everyone. On the count of three, I want you all to remove your blindfolds. One… Two… Three!"

Baloo removed his blindfold to lay eyes on a Karnage airfreight jet with graffiti on the side and read it out loud. "Dedicated to Megavolt, Flick, Greg, and Baloo."

"That's right, guys," said Don Karnage. "During the ice road season, all four of you will be flying this behemoth, hauling much needed cargo to remote locations in Alaska and Northern Canada. Only this time, it's all paid positions up to $65 an hour plus room and board. You'll be a pilot and co-pilot for the first leg of every trip and a pilot and co-pilot for the second leg of every trip. For your first season, Baloo will teach all three of you how to land. And Baloo, there's just one basic dress code rule that I still need to discuss with you."

"Let me guess," said Baloo. "I have to wear my Sunday vest and bow-tie."

"Nope," Don Karnage answered with a smile. "You must always wear pants when reporting for duty."

"Just where are we gonna find some that'll fit me?" questioned Baloo.

"I thought you might bring that up," said Don Karnage with a smile. "so I measured you for some while you were sleeping and had three pairs custom made for you." And he pulled all three pairs right out of his sleeve.

Baloo tried on one pair and was quite surprised. "What do you know? These fit considerably well."

"One more thing," said Karnage. "For each of you, here are your keys to the plane, and you all get started on Boxing Day."

"Sounds like a plan," encouraged Flick and Baloo with a smile.

"A much better plan than middle school," added Greg.

A/N: In four of my stories to date, Construction Day, Darkwing Doof, A Tri State Zooathlon, and Thrill Factory: A Game of Xtreme Skill, Megavolt has a hefty surprise for Don Karnage. I'm not gonna spoil what those surprises are, but they just might knock your socks off.