Forsaken
Remus Sparrow
District 1 Male
The world is spinning.
I sit a bit farther away from the cornucopia, with my back against the other careers. Usually a terrible idea, but they aren't allowed to see. To see any of this shameful display.
Ever since I killed the District 3 girl, no, before that, when I first rose into the arena I have felt the world crumble. It's like someone has dragged my spirit out of my body, severing myself from all the emotions that I should normally feel. No fear. No anger. No adrenaline. Just stress. A muffled stress that is sitting there, inside of my body, running through all of my limbs. My arms are twitching, more than usual, and I cannot stop them.
I put my arms around my head as I bow down, trying to calm myself down. There was blood, a lot of blood. There was a lot of blood that day too. Blood from dead children. My heart starts racing even faster.
When I entered the games I expected the killing to be some sort of relief. Revenge, where I can finally kill the demons that haunt me. These children are not demons. Nor are they Amulius. Impaling them with arrows does nothing.
My heart is beating so hard it starts to hurt. Where am I again? Oh, the arena. If I can barely make it through the bloodbath, how can I ever win the games?
Why am I even here to begin with?
"There's not nearly as much food as I thought it would be," I hear Alexi mutter behind me. "When I watched the games the careers usually had enough for weeks. Why did the gamemakers have to be stingy this year?"
"I don't think it's about the gamemakers at all," Emerald says. "Look. Some of these bags are half-empty. Someone was sneaking around while we were distracted."
"Okay? So some random child just stole everything under our noses? How more embarrassing can it be-"
"Calm down. We still have enough food that we need, especially since our career pack is smaller than usual. No need to be so angry."
I turn around and look at both of the District 4 tributes arguing. Maybe I should say something, about how it was a successful bloodbath all things considered. With how weak we are this year to begin with it was a miracle no one died. But I'm unsure if they would appreciate that.
I turn my attention to Blush. For the last few minutes, she had been collecting supplies from the dead bodies around the field and is now jogging towards our base camp. I notice the blood stains on her hands and the knife in her belt.
"Did you manage to kill Casey? Or the District 6 girl?" she asks as she arrives, throwing the backpacks she's holding with the rest of the equipment.
Alexi and Emerald are both quiet for a few seconds before Alexi mutters: "No. They both got away."
My district partner doesn't answer, but from her face, it is clear that she is dismayed.
"If you wanted them dead so badly you could have, I don't know, helped?" Emerald says with a low tone.
"Please be serious now. It was a four versus two. Surely three trained careers and a… decently strong girl are enough for an avox and some outer district girl?" Blush says as she stares daggers into Olivia, who immediately hugs herself tightly.
Emerald is about to retort but when she is interrupted by a cannon shot.
Boom.
Boom.
Boom.
Boom.
Boom.
Boom.
Boom.
Boom.
"Eight deaths. Interesting. I only counted seven bodies," Blush says as she casts a glance toward the body of a small boy inside the cornucopia. "But it does not matter. It's a good start."
Both of the District 4 tributes look down in the ground and the group is silent for a bit. I return to staring at the forest. My throat still feels dry, but it seems like the worst is over. Now that I look back at it, my bloodbath was kinda pathetic. Began by getting hit by an arrow, then stabbed a weird suicidal boy,and finally shot a girl who was standing still like a deer in the highlights. Not good enough. At all.
And the Three boy ran away with the body too, the one impaled with an arrow. I look down at three arrows that are lying below me. Barely enough to make another kill.
"Is everything fine?" Blush suddenly appears beside me and asks.
I look up at her, not showing her any reactions. Her words and voice might seem sweet, but I'm well aware that she is anything but that. Or I'm paranoid. A very real possibility. But she wouldn't worry about me. Not Blush.
I need to constantly remind myself that she knows my weakness. My trauma, in the hands of the worst possible person to know my secret.
"It's okay," I say and divert my eyes.
"If you say so," Blush says. "But it's a problem if you can't keep yourself together when we fight. Remember that."
I nod. That sounds more like Blush.
"Hopefully you killed a few tributes at least. Surely I didn't have to do all the work."
"Two," I blurt out.
Blush whistles. "Not bad. Maybe there is some promise in you after all."
She pats me on the back, which makes me shudder. Touch is still uncomfortable. I would like to consider myself as someone who doesn't take pride in slaughtering, but her praise still makes me happy. It almost makes me want to laugh. Surely I haven't fallen so far yet.
I take another good look at Blush. She's strong, not like the other children I killed. More like Amulius. Intelligent too, like Amulius. And callous, with seemingly no care for human life, like Amulius.
If I kill her, is that good enough to constitute revenge?
Thomas Slater
District 3 Male
It's funny how the night sky lacks a moon. Just a coating of darkness and blinking stars, looking down and laughing at my despair. For the Capitol it is meant to be beautiful, they will probably make wallpapers of the arena, but it's unnatural. Constructed. A great reminder that all of this suffering is constructed too; I only lost Lana because they said so.
The fir trees are towering over me. They almost seem like giants making me feel so, so small. I'm leaning on one while burrowing my head into my arms. The tears are flowing like a waterfall and I cannot, will not, stop them. If I hold them in I have no doubt I'll go crazy.
Far away I hear a deer, I think, shouting. It joins the chorus of crickets and birds. Around me flies mosquitoes and fireflies, but I don't bother chasing them off. They can drink as much blood as they want. In the corner of my eye, I see a snake disappear into the green foliage that covers the forest. A forest garden. The smell of fir and grass is strong, but the stink of dried blood is even stronger. It overpowers all my senses and disturbs all my stomach. For once, I'm glad I don't have anything to eat; if I did, I would have thrown it all up by now.
I don't dare to look at my sister's body. She sleeps a few meters away in a bed of blue flowers. I want to believe that she is simply taking a nap and will wake up soon to nag me about being late for work. That my friends will complain about her being a pain to deal with. And then, show me her perfect grades, barely being able to hide her gleaming pride. It doesn't matter if we fought with each other: I would do anything to turn back time and be a substitute for her fate. In fact, I regret all the disagreements we ever had. There's nothing she can do wrong and I should have realized that a long time ago.
Oh, Lana. Why did you leave me? It doesn't matter if people hated you or told me that you were insufferable, because to me, there's no more important person than you. When our mother died, did those people try to help us? Did those "friends" give us the support that I gave them when they needed it? Instead, you were the one who had to sacrifice your grieving to take care of me when I was at my weakest and couldn't give you the same support.
For such a long time I have believed if I did good the world would repay me. And this is my reimbursement.
The only world I should have served is the one lying dead beside me.
I cast a glance at Lana. She has her back against me, fireflies buzzing over her. In another world, it would have been a fitting funeral, but I hate it. Hate it like I hate the constructed sky and genetically engineered songbirds.
I crawl over and hug her again, something I have done probably a thousand times by this point. The arrow that ended her light was thrown away a long time ago. I don't want to leave her; if possible, I just want to stay here forever.
"Please Lana," I sob. "I'm being weak again. Just like when our mother died. Console me. One last time."
No response. I sigh. There's one last thing I need to do, or I can't live with myself ever again. I turn her around so I can see her face clearly, her dead beautiful face. She looks horrified, her eyes open in dread. All of her color is gone and what remains is a bleak imitation of my sister. Before I can react I close her eyes, as if it would change anything.
I swallow hard. Already I regret seeing her face. Her terror is forever ingrained into my memory as if someone branded me with a mark in the most visible position.
Then, something burns me.
"Ouch." The fireflies are swarming around me, their glowing part aggressively blinking with bursts of electricity. They go in one by one, trying to force me away. If I had the willpower I would simply sit there and let the Capitol torture me to death. But that's not what Lana would have wanted.
I release her body and walk with slow steps away backward, keeping my eyes on her body. The fireflies return to their passive mode and continue to buzz around like nothing happens. I wait in the foliage a bit until I hear the familiar sound of a hovercraft approaching. The gray monster almost blends into the night sky, if it didn't swallow the stars it covered. A large claw descends and picks Lana's body up.
I stare with the most hateful intent I can at the hovercraft. It might be pointless, but it's the most I can do at the moment that doesn't involve me getting instantly killed by the Capitol. My craving for a less pathetic revenge is almost impossible to contain. The Capitol. Lana's true killers. Even if they did not hold the knife they were the ones who sent us into the lion pit and deserve all the blame they get.
The thought of them sitting in their homes shedding tears over my grief and discussing her death to their friends makes me vomit. It's a reality show for them, just a bit of afternoon entertainment. My mouth tastes putrid, but I don't care. My thoughts are already somewhere else.
If the Capitol was the one who sent us here to die, does that mean Lana's killer is also a victim? Can I actually look past them?
"No," I mutter to myself. No matter how many times I spin it in my head. Lana's killer needs to die. A painful, long death. Nothing else would satisfy me. I don't care if they have a family or friends or whatever back home that prays every day for them to come home; I can't feel anything but sheer hatred whenever I think back to the arrow.
The arrow. Two people use arrow-based weapons. I know that because I had to wait for them to finish whenever I wanted to try the shooting range. The boy from District 1 and the girl from District 2. From my blurry memory, I can at least remember that the girl was reaped. The career volunteered, so you can scratch everything about him being a victim. He deserves everything that he gets.
I start slowly making my way through the forest. It's funny how even if he wasn't dead, I still wouldn't have searched for Keaton. He wouldn't be of any use, just a poor city kid who was one more mouth to feed. And if I remember correctly, Lana didn't like him either. The warning signs were all there - I was just too deluded to see them.
Disgusting humans, all of them.
Suri Lizbeth
District 6 Female
For every hour that goes I start to wonder more and more if I made a mistake.
We're both silent. Not that Casey has much of a choice, because you know, but usually I would at least try to strike up some sort of conversation. However, I don't think I have any words left that I trust. Words that aren't spinning around in my head, where I wonder how I should approach this predicament.
The hill we are sitting on is high enough for us to be able to view the cornucopia. Or at least, I can, since Casey is sitting with her back against me staring at the mountain. Other than the stars the only light I can see is the fire the careers made, which makes me realize how cold it is. I hutter. Unfortunately, it's too risky for a fire.
Odd. I do not remember it being this cold when I rose into the arena. It might just have been the adrenaline, but still…
That's when I noticed the moon rising in the east.
"Pfft." It's stupid, but I guess the Capitol does need its day and night cycle.
I sigh and look at my katana. A slight bit of blood has dried up on the edge, where I grazed the District 4 girl. Whenever we rested I had done my best to clean it as much as possible, but I guess not all sins can be so easily forgotten. I'm just grateful I'm both alive and not a murderer.
But that cannot be said for everyone. I cast a glance at my ally, who's still sitting frozen in place. I know I shouldn't blame her - we are stuck in the hunger games. At least it wouldn't be much of an issue if she killed a strong tribute and it was just a case of self-defense.
However, how can you ever dream of starting a rebellion if you run around and start murdering twelve-year-olds? I had hoped that her hate for the Capitol was so strong that she would be ready to sacrifice what was needed. And it might still be. But I can't understand why she would do something so destructive to our cause. Doesn't she see she's working against what we agreed upon?
My eyes rest on the moon as I continue to ponder, noticing an extra large star shining next to it when the national anthem starts blaring.
I jump a bit, not expecting it to be so loud that it fills the entire arena. Panem's weapon appears in the sky before the images of today's lost souls start showing one by one.
The first one is the girl from District 3. From what I remember her district partner is her brother. Just another one to add to the list of the Capitol's reprehensible cruelties.
Next up is Keaton's shy and small face. I expected myself to grieve every child killed in the games, but this one stings even worse. We never talked much, but I knew what he liked and who he was. It's a shame such a young boy had to die so soon.
The next images blur into one as they continue to appear. When I see the District 9 girl, the ally to the girl Casey killed, makes me feel a stab of shame. Then both of the District 10 tributes appear, before showing the District 11 girl.
Then we arrive to District 12. The boy almost disappears immediately in my mind, which I should be ashamed of, but the girl seems to stay in the sky forever. Her small face and defiant eyes burn into my memory.
"What do you think?" I mutter without thinking. With a sigh, I lean back and look up at the sky again. You're just screwing things up again, Suri. The shining star seems to almost shine brighter, funnily enough. I'm slowly going crazy in this wretched place.
Casey turns around and stares at me, before shrugging.
"Nothing. Really?" I say. "Have you ever considered that she has a life of her own?"
She shakes her head.
"I guess that makes things easier," I say and sigh. "I'm sorry, I know I'm not fair. It's just…"
The star seems to be bigger than it was a few minutes ago.
Casey uses her fingers to count to 24, and after a small delay shows one finger. It isn't hard to understand what she means, but I underestimated how hard it is to communicate purely using body language. I never thought I would miss Capitol technology as much as I do know.
"Yes, there's only one victor. But-" I chose my words carefully. Everything is broadcasted, directly to the Districts and to the Capitol. "We used to have a pretty terrible tradition in my factory at some point. Every working week, our director would draw one person in our division to be our overseer. And one of the overseer's duties was to hand out our wages. It was tradition for them to take a little bit for themselves from everyone's wages, not enough that the peacekeepers wouldn't notice. That meant we often didn't have enough money to feed ourselves. Even if everyone hated the practice, nobody complained because they didn't want to miss out on the money when they got drawn."
The star is shining so bright it's almost blinding me. It's almost like it is coming closer.
I take a deep breath. "One day a worker had enough and when she became overseer, she didn't steal anything. More people started abstaining and could with a clean conscience call out the thieves. The practice stopped. And while I was too young to be an overseer, I would gladly starve if it meant that I could stop that injustice."
As expected, unfortunately, Casey looks at me like I'm crazy. Just like after she killed the girl. She is about to say something when we are interrupted by the ear-deafening sound of the sky falling down.
A massive meteor blazes through the sky, burning with fury and blue flame. I instinctively cover my head and Casey instantly reaches for her bow, as if it would help. The meteor blazes past us and crashes on the other side of the arena, causing an explosion of light. Even from here, I can hear the impact, almost like a gunshot.
One final large flash of light, and then it's back to being quiet. While the meteor crash caused the wildlife to halt for a second, it soon returned to its ordinary chirping and howling. As if nothing had happened.
We both stood there stunned for a good minute. While I can't make out the impact site, I'm surprised it didn't start a fire. Certainly a Gamemaker trick. Swallowing hard, I grab my weapon and supplies before standing up.
"Let's go," I say. "We have taken a long enough break."
For once, we both agreed on something. Casey doesn't waste any time getting ready but keeps her eyes stuck on the direction where it crashed.
I look towards the mountain. Our original goal, and one that I'm thankful we chose. Anything far, far away from the meteorite is a great goal. Messing with Capitol tricks never ends well.
Klaus Harg
District 5 Male
"Fuck!"
The badger hisses at me, preparing itself to attack. I hiss back and start waving around my head in an attempt to make it go away. Thankfully, the animal takes the hint and gives one last growl(which sounds like a slur in badger language) before taking off into the forest.
"Damn overgrown rat," I mutter and spit on the ground.
I had been too focused on the intense craving for a good smoke when I accidentally stumbled upon the aggressive bastard. If it hadn't scared me half to death I could have swooped it up for dinner, something my stomach desperately begged for. Although I would need a weapon for that. Which I did not have.
It's funny how I was the dude that survived the bloodbath. I chuckle to myself. Okay, maybe it wasn't the hardest to survive when you speeded off in the opposite direction as soon as the cannon fired, but I wasn't gonna run into an obvious deathtrap. It was simple Darwinism that killed the eight tributes today. Sucks to be them.
Although most of the dead children were the young ones. Which makes me feel like a not-great person for the first time in a while.
I continue to wander towards the meteorite crash. I assume that most tributes shit their pants when the streak of fire passed over their heads, I almost did, but the starfall must still have some purpose. The spectacle was too extravagant for it not to have. If I was lucky, it would be some rare outer space loot.
Preferably some alien food. Mars-melons. Anything to still the looming hunger.
With every step I take towards the crash site my legs feel heavier and heavier. Now, it would be more fun if it was some sort of sci-fi forcefield slowing me down, but I fear it's simply my own body giving up. Fuck. Maybe if I was able to drink that alcohol a few nights ago it would have stilled the craving.
For a second I wonder if it's worth a try to beg a sponsor for a morphine shot.
To escape my daydreams about doing drugs my mind wanders to my district partner, to my own dismay. I had told myself to forget about her since there was nothing worth remembering. And there wasn't, just that she was almost as pathetic as me. Still, she survived the bloodbath. Defying what I had said to her at the parades, that we both would die then.
I smile. Guess I'm a double liar then. Even worse than a normal liar.
I sneak up towards the landing site, hiding between some bushes. It would be bad if a tribute who was faster than me noticed my presence or potentially something worse. Still, it was suspicious that the trees next to the meteorite seemed fine. No fire. No burned branches. Nothing. With a deep breath, I peek at my goal.
If I expected food, I was sorely disappointed. Unless you can eat a big rock. However, I must admit that describing it as a rock is a bit of an understatement: more like a crystal rubble. The crystal boulder almost shone in a dark blue and purple aurora, and what did shine were the points of light within the crystals. Almost like stars in the night sky. A very purple night sky.
I was just about to leave when the rubble moved.
It stretched out. In a mechanical way, the crystals started reshaping themselves, moving around, and slowly creating a body. If it was a machine I did not understand how the pieces could move in such a smooth, clean way. Almost as if it was alive. I could only stare at it as it finished its metamorphosis. Before me, a lion-shaped itself.
The fact I recognized the creature as a lion comes from the fact that I saw a statue of one on my free day. And it did look like one, not just like a lion, but the statue itself. However, this was a statue that was moving, breathing, and inspecting its surroundings. I probably look like an idiot with my mouth agape as I take a step backward.
A stick twists below me. If it wasn't for my current predicament, I would have loudly cussed myself out.
The lion snapped its head towards me.
Look, I don't consider myself an intellectual. I was only in school long enough to learn to read. My boyfriend always called me a dumbass. But I'm not an idiot. When a big space-lion-crystal-mutt finds me I don't stand there and await my death.
So I ran.
Almost all my focus had to be used to stop myself from tripping or running into a tree. It did not matter where I ran, a goddamn career was preferable to that thing, just as long as I made some distance. Behind me ,I heard the lion roar, a hollow roar that truly sold the idea that it wasn't from this world, as it crashed through trees and wildlife. My heart is beating in Mach-10, enough to give me a heart attack at any second.
But my most intense panic came from the protesting of my legs. My entire body hurt, telling me that if they took one more step it would crumble to ash. An addict's body was simply not meant to outrun a lion.
I ran past a large boulder, telling my body to just keep it together a bit longer. To my surprise, I heard the clear sound of the lion crashing into a boulder. My body obviously took this opportunity to halt my legs and try to recover my energy. Move it, fucking hell. Every second I wasn't running was another second in danger.
My clothes started to feel sticky from all the sweat. I couldn't do anything but stare into the ground and breathe heavily, the lungs doing overtime in processing as much oxygen as possible. I allowed myself a quick glance at the beast. The lion stumbled from the boulder, unfortunately still just as polished as before, trying to straighten its path. If I am allowed to hope it looks like it is still uncomfortable with moving. Considering it was born a few minutes ago, that is not a surprise.
Stop thinking and start moving. I force my legs to take more steps. After almost falling multiple times I just decided to focus on nothing but keep moving forward.
Then I fall.
Of course, there was a cliff right next to me. Of course. You can't make this up. Nevertheless, I fall for a few seconds before landing and breaking my leg.
Only by burying my head in the ground can I suffocate my screams. It hurts, it hurts, so much it's almost unbelievable. In those few fuzzy seconds, the pain overtakes all fear from mutt. My leg burns, like a fire eating up my flesh. Ben always said that being burned alive is the most painful way to die, but I'm starting to doubt that statement.
Finally, after what feels like an eternity, can I look up from the ground without screaming. When I start to move another flash of pain erupts and I grunt. Realizing my fatal mistake, I freeze, glancing with my wide eyes towards the cliff. Nothing. It's quiet. A bird is singing, but otherwise, no lion. No growling. No beast stomping around.
Maybe I managed to shake it off.
I laugh at myself. God damn whatever God is up there. You surely have a knack for making me miserable, don't you?
No deaths.