Homelander glanced to the man on the floor and tried to get his brain to kick into gear. He knew what he had to do, but he didn't entirely know how. He suspected that he should tell Sage. She was the only one he could truly trust to clean up this mess. He just needed to get his wife away from the crime scene. He couldn't let her be implicated in anything that had happened. Plus, she had phoned for him. She had called for him in her hour of need and he wasn't going to turn her away. He kept her in his arms, letting her cling to him with her arms wrapped tightly around his neck.

"We need to get you out of here before someone comes across this," he said and Victoria pulled back enough to look him in the eye. She shook her head at him and his brows furrowed.

"I can't run away," she said.

"Vicky, what other option is there?" Homelander wondered from her, trying to keep his voice gentle. "We can't call the police, can we?"

"We have to," she said and he saw some of his stubborn wife shining through once more. She sniffed and moved an arm from his neck and wiped her nose unceremoniously. "I can't not tell the police. I…I killed him…John…I killed him and he has a family…there'll be people looking for him…"

"He died in a tragic accident," Homelander said to her. "Listen to me, Victoria, you don't need to do this, alright? I can take you back to the penthouse. We can get you cleaned up and this mess will be sorted. It will be as if nothing ever happened."

He knew he'd said the wrong thing. Her brows knitted together and she stepped back from him then, her body moving from against his. Her arms dangled by her side, hands still shaking and eyes rimmed red but now narrowed in his direction. "As if nothing ever happened?" Victoria repeated the words to her husband and he flapped his arms by the side, knowing that it was a poor choice. "I killed a man, John. I…I shot him and I…I know that you might be comfortable with killing people, but I'm not."

Homelander was about to snap and remind her that she'd been perfectly comfortable when it had been him committing the murders on her behalf. She just had an issue with getting her own hands messy. Well, now she had. She was part of the club, but no doubt she'd still try and act like this was different. Then again, Homelander guessed it was different for her.

"Okay," Homelander said through gritted teeth, trying to find a way to calm her down and make things better. "What good would calling the police do, Victoria? You'd probably be bailed for self-defence, but imagine the media circus that's going to follow that. You'll have the press either believing you or thinking that you're a liar. It will be increased scrutiny on you and I don't want you to go through that. I don't want you to have to deal with it."

"Neither do I," Victoria confessed to him, "but I left because I wanted to do the right thing and I need to keep trying to do the right thing. That means calling the police."

"Then why did you call me first?" Homelander wondered from her.

She was quiet then, not entirely sure if she had an answer that she would like. She knew why she'd called him first, of course. It had been her gut instinct. Her go to reaction when things got difficult was to reach for the one person who she knew would help her. It was to go to him. She still felt that she needed him and, she guessed, a part of her couldn't stop that. Homelander seemed to understand it too.

He knew why she'd called him. She'd called him because he was who she turned to whenever things were difficult. He was her rock and he knew she hated that. He knew she hated that she felt that way, but it wasn't as if she could stop it. Feelings weren't something that you could turn on and off again like a switch.

"I know why," Homelander finally answered his own question.

Victoria shook her head once. "It's not fair on you," she finally said. "I can't come running to you whenever I have an issue. I need to…I can sort this…I can handle it…"

He noted the way she turned her gaze to the side, eyes roaming over the man's corpse and the blood surrounding him. Homelander watched her bottom lip begin to tremble and he knew she was struggling to remain composed. He imagined a part of her wanted just to break down and cry. Homelander stepped forwards then, blocking her view from the body. Standing in front of her, he moved a hand to her cheek and forced her gaze up to him once more. Her dark blue eyes met his light blue ones and he moved his other hand up and wiped away the tears staining her skin with a gentle sweep of his thumb.

"I want you to call me," he said to her. "Never think that you can't, Vicky. You're still my wife."

That was true in the legal sense, but they had separated. Then again, they didn't entirely act like they'd separated. Homelander kept her cheeks cradled in his palms. "I'm here, alright? I'm here, sweetheart."

Victoria nodded her head once and she let him kiss her forehead before she stepped away from him. She crouched down on the ground and picked her phone up. Staying there on her knees, she dialled nine-one-one. Homelander didn't stop her, knowing that he could have some sway over the local PD if that was necessary. He stood behind her and listened as the operator picked and then Victoria spoke.

"I need the police…I…I killed a man."

…

The news had leaked soon afterwards that Victoria Anderton had been arrested for murder. Homelander had stayed with her, almost about to snap at the officers as they put her in handcuffs. He kept on saying how clearly she had been acting in self-defence, but he knew that she had to be interviewed as well. As she was being put into the back of the squad car, she asked him to take Evelyn back to the penthouse and make sure that Ryan was safe too. He also knew that he had to call for Daniella considering she was a lawyer and no doubt Victoria would want her. Homelander had phoned Sage instead, delegating those tasks to her before he had gone back to Victoria's house and picked his daughter up. Natalie had seemed hesitant to go back to the Tower with her, but in the end she hadn't had much choice. Homelander had made sure that his daughter was safe in the penthouse with security stepped up a notch to protect her. Natalie had stayed with her while Homelander had gone back to the police station.

Stepping into the precinct, he tried to ignore the stares coming in his direction. Everyone knew who he was and judging by the paparazzi and journalists outside, they knew that Victoria was inside. Homelander headed to the main desk, but he didn't even get a chance to ask after his wife. The Chief of Police was already calling his name, moving across the precinct floor.

"Sir, if you'd like to follow me then we can discuss this matter in private," he said and Homelander vaguely remembered meeting him at some fundraising event. He thought that his name was Mick or Michael. Turned out that his name was Martin after Homelander clocked it on his office door. The man was in his sixties and balding, wearing a sharp suit and doused in expensive cologne. Closing the door behind them, Martin gestured to a seat on the other side of his cheap wooden desk that was covered in papers and files, the laptop overheating judging by the noise coming from the fan.

Homelander said nothing, waiting for the other man to speak first. Then again, Homelander knew that he didn't need to say anything because he knew that just being there was enough. Martin had been in the game long enough to know how this was going to go.

"Your wife is currently being interviewed by two of my best officers and she'd been taken care of. We've had the medic come and fix her up too," Martin said, hands lacing together on top of his desk. There was a pause, almost as if he expected Homelander to thank him. But Homelander wasn't going to thank him until he said those magic words that he wanted to hear. Martin coughed awkwardly into his fist for a second. "I've had officers sweep the scene and we've requested CCTV footage from around the area as well. As far as we can see, the man, who we have identified as Jacob Jones, had been following your wife for several blocks."

"I don't care about him. I care about Victoria," Homelander said.

"I understand, sir," Martin blabbered, clearly intimidated by what he was hearing. "And, thankfully, the alleyway where your wife was also has CCTV. It was clearly self-defence. We can just about see that he pushed the gun into her back and forced her in there…she fought him and somehow ended up with the gun and her finger pulled the trigger."

"So, she's free to go?" Homelander checked.

"She will be once she has been interviewed. You know…due process," Martin shrugged nonchalantly. "Jones' family have been notified of his death and my officers say that they seem like the type to milk what's happened…you know…a good, honest man who shouldn't have died."

"A good, honest man who threatened a woman with a gun?" Homelander retorted smarmily. "You think they're going to try and drag my wife in the press?"

"In the press…perhaps try to sue in civil court," Martin confirmed. "I'm telling you this so that you can get ahead of the curve, obviously."

"I will," Homelander said firmly. If some down-and-out family thought that they were going to get anything from Victoria then they were greatly mistaken. They weren't going to get anything. Victoria wasn't going to apologise and she sure as hell wasn't going to be sued by them. "And the evidence?"

"Will be made public to emphasise her innocence," Martin promised him. "The DA's office have already declared that they don't intend on pressing charges. No doubt by the time we're done here, she'll be out and ready to go home with you."

"Perfect," Homelander said and he moved to stand up.

Martin hesitated, almost as if he expected something else from Homelander. But the supe wasn't going to stick around and find out what that was. He wasn't in the habit of giving out favours, not anymore. He was the one in charge and people answered to him. That was how it was and it was how it was always going to be. Homelander left the office and sure enough, Victoria was at the front desk being given her bag back and her cell phone. Daniella was next to her, hunched over some paperwork.

Victoria looked up and to the side, spotting her husband walking towards them. She stood up straight again and looked past Daniella as he approached. "You alright?" he asked from her and Victoria forced herself to nod.

"Is Evelyn safe?"

"She's at the penthouse and Ryan is safe too," Homelander promised her.

Daniella straightened up and her pose instantly turned defensive. Her arms folded over her chest and her eyes glared at Homelander. He ignored her and just held his hand out to Victoria. She looked at it for a second and Daniella also watched her.

"I'll take you home to her," Homelander said. "There's a press pack waiting for you outside."

"Vic, come on," Daniella mumbled and Victoria looked across to her friend once more who was looking at her expectantly. "You can't go with him."

"Evie is at the penthouse and I just want to see her," Victoria said. "I'll be fine, Dani, I promise. I just want my daughter."

"I can take it from here, Daniella," Homelander declared and he could almost feel the hatred radiating off of her. She despised him, but he guessed that a small part of him got a kick out of that. He didn't wait any longer, he moved an arm around his wife's waist and guided her towards the back so that they could leave undetected.

Victoria turned to look to her friend and mouthed a 'thank you' to her and an 'I'll be fine'. Daniella just remained stood on the spot, arms folded over the pastel pink suit she wore and a disapproving look on her face. She knew that Victoria was going for her daughter, but that still didn't stop her from worrying about him getting his claws in her once again. But what could she do? She couldn't manhandle Victoria to come back and stay with her. She couldn't tell her to leave Evelyn at the Tower. And so she just let her go and hoped that she'd come back home sooner rather than later.

…

Walking into the refurbished penthouse, Victoria was relieved to hold her daughter as soon as she saw her. Evelyn was sat on the sofa with Natalie, the two of them reading a book together. Natalie stood up as soon as Victoria walked in and Homelander watched the two women embrace as Victoria promised Natalie that she would be alright and that she was more than welcome to stay in the townhouse that night, but she guessed that her and Evie might be staying in the penthouse considering that it was getting late and, truth be told, Victoria didn't want to go back home.

She had a security detail, but there was something about being more than a hundred storeys in the air that made her feel safer. She just wanted one night where she knew Evie was going to be alright for her own peace of mind.

"Mummy why you hurt?"

Victoria realised that she still looked a state. Her lip had been split and it ached. The bruise on her cheek was becoming more pronounced too. Her tights were ripped and her coat was dirtied too. There were specks of blood on her skirt and blouse as well.

"Mummy just had a fall," Victoria said and Homelander wondered when their daughter might see through their lies. What would she be like when she was old enough to challenge them and question what they told her? "But I'm alright, baby. I'm sorry if I scared you."

"Did you not get the koala?" Evelyn asked, eyes wide and innocent.

Victoria blinked back her tears as she thought about what could've happened. She'd come so close to never seeing Evelyn again. She picked her daughter up and sat her down in her lap. Evelyn nestled tighter against her as Homelander sat on the other side of her. He moved a gloved hand to his daughter's back, stroking it gently.

"Mummy didn't have a chance to get the koala, honey," Homelander stepped in, sensing that Victoria was having a hard time getting any words out. "But daddy will get you it tomorrow, alright? We can spend the day together."

"Are we staying here tonight?" Evelyn wondered.

Homelander looked at his wife and waited for her to answer. She just held Evelyn tighter and settled her chin on top of their daughter's brunette curls, stroking them softly. "Can we?" she asked from her husband.

"Of course," Homelander agreed and then curled a finger under his daughter's chin, tilting her head up to look at him. "Why don't we go and get you ready for bed, sweetie? I'll even read you a story, okay?"

"Okay, daddy," Evelyn agreed. "Can we read The Elephant's First Christmas?"

"We can read whatever you want to read," Homelander promised her. He stood up and picked up from Victoria's lap after she had finished saying goodnight, kissing her on the top of the head and giving her another kiss goodnight. Homelander looked down to his wife and saw how she had cupped her hands over her mouth, clearly trying not to cry.

"Why don't you have a shower, sweetheart?" he suggested. "And I'll be back soon, alright?"

She managed to nod at him and Homelander wasn't entirely sure what he would come back to. He carried Evelyn up the steps and to her bedroom, helping her get changed into a clean pair of pyjamas. He stood with her in the bathroom and made sure she cleaned her teeth before he brushed her hair. He pulled the quilt back on her bed and she climbed into it, reaching for the stuffed giraffe she kept at her father's. Homelander sat at the end of the bed and tugged his gloves off, picking up the book she handed him and starting to read to her. She didn't take long to drift off to sleep, eyes closing and breathing shallowing. Homelander's voice became a whisper until he was content she was sleeping. He put the book on the bedside table and kissed her on the forehead before turning the lamp out and turning her nightlight on.

He closed the door and tossed his gloves onto the sideboard in the hallway before going downstairs. He found his wife on the sofa, curled into a ball with her arms hooked around her legs and chin on her kneecaps. She'd had a shower and had taken one of his blue tops and grey bottoms alongside his red socks. Her hair hung in damp clumps down her cheeks and her cheeks were puffy and eyes bloodshot.

Knowing that he didn't need to say anything, he sat down beside her. Lifting his arm up, he wrapped it around her shoulders and she leant against him. He rested his cheek on the top of her head and reached his other arm over his body to sit on one of her hands on her calf. "Tell me what you're thinking," Homelander urged from her.

Victoria let out a deep breath, unsure of what she should say to him. What was she thinking? Even she wasn't entirely certain what was going on in her mind.

"I don't know," Victoria whispered. "I feel guilty for killing him…I keep seeing him on the floor…trying to save him…I tried, John. I tried but it all happened so quickly and I didn't know it would be like that. I didn't know it would be so quick…and he…the gasps of breath he kept taking…I begged for him not to die because I didn't want that. I didn't want to kill him, but I didn't want to die either, John. I didn't want to die because Evie…Ryan…I just didn't want to die but I didn't know what else to do. I just fought him. I just fought and it…I didn't mean to pull the trigger. I never meant it."

"Vicky, sweetheart, it was your life or his," Homelander said, not entirely sure why she felt the way she did. Then again, that was the fundamental difference between the two of them: she had some respect for human life. "You survived."

"But this is what it's come to," Victoria said. "All of my life I've been fighting, John. I've been fighting and all I've known is death…violence…and I swore that I would be different. I tried to be different, but I'm not, am I? I never had blood on my hands before, but I did nothing to stop what was going on, did I? I've never been innocent and now…now I have actual blood on my hands. I killed a man and I just…I want to feel regret. And I do. But not as much as I feel relief and I know that's selfish, but I do. I just feel relieved that I made it out alive."

"There is nothing selfish about that, Victoria, nothing at all," Homelander promised her. "You fought for your life. You did what you had to do and you have nothing to feel guilty about. You…the idea of you…I don't think I can begin to tell you how I felt when you called me and sounded like that…so scared…"

"Because I was," Victoria said. "I'm scared because I know that there will be people out there who want me dead. This…I think what scares me most is the idea that there will be others and there's Evie and Ryan to think about. I know I've employed security, John, but I just…I don't want any of this. I don't want it."

"Then come home," Homelander urged from her and Victoria frowned as she pulled away from him and looked up at his face. She shook her head as Homelander cupped her cheek, thumb running over the purple bruise there gently. "Come back home, Vicky. I can protect you and Evie. You know that you're safe here. You're safe with me."

"I can't come home," Victoria said and Homelander noted how she called this her home still. "I can't come back because that would mean giving up and not speaking out. I can't do that. I've come too far. There are too many people relying on me, John. They're relying on me to be their voice and hold your government accountable. You think I don't want to come home? I want to. I want to come home, but I can't."

Victoria moved to her feet and Homelander watched her fold her arms over her chest. She walked towards the window and looked out over the dark skyline. Her head was spinning because she didn't know what to do for the best. She didn't know what it was that was the right thing to do. She had to look after her daughter. She had to protect Evelyn. But she couldn't go back to her husband after everything just because he offered protection.

Homelander watched her wrap her arms around herself and he noted the scars peeking out from the sleeve of his tee. He moved to his feet and slowly moved back towards her, knowing that he couldn't push her on this. He had to tread gently because he knew what Victoria could be like when she was forced into something she didn't want to do. He wrapped his arms around her waist, hands clasping against her stomach. She didn't push him away. She let him keep her wrapped up in his grip and he felt her fingers slip on top of his. Crouching down slightly, he pressed his cheek against her neck, kissing the gap between her throat and shoulder.

"I can't lose you," he whispered hotly against her skin. "I don't want to lose you, Vicky."

"But you did," Victoria said, eyes still set on the view out of the window. "You lost me when I found out who you really were. I wish that things had been different, but they weren't. I wish that you were who I thought you were. I just…I wish that I had been enough for you. I wish that I had been enough."

"You are more than enough."

"No, I'm not," Victoria said and she turned to look him in the eye. "You wanted everything, John. You can't have everything and that's just how it is."

"Who says I can't?"

"I do," Victoria said. "And we're not rehashing the past. We are where we are."

"That we might be," Homelander said and he spun her around, hands cupping her cheeks and cradling her face. He tried not to hurt her, but he did feel her wince. His fingers tucked her hair behind her ears and he looked her in the eye and she saw that he was crying. There were tears brimming in his eyes. "We might be where we are, but there's no denying that you still love me just like I still love you and today…the thought of me finding your body in that alleyway…I don't get scared, Vicky. I'm not programmed to feel fear. But that scared me. It scared me just as much as it did when I thought I'd lost you giving birth to Evie. I don't want to feel that again."

Victoria moved a hand to sit on top of his against her cheek and she saw him move closer towards her. She closed her eyes before coming to her senses. Before he had a chance to kiss her, she turned her head to the side and his lips landed on the side of her head. He felt a slight sense of disappointment and his posture stiffened before she took his wrists and moved his hands from her.

"We can't," Victoria said, her mouth dry.

"You should get some rest," Homelander just said to her.

"Yeah," she agreed. "I'll stay on the sofa."

"Vic, come on," Homelander complained. "Just share the bed. It's not as if we haven't been sharing the bed at your townhouse."

He wasn't wrong there and a part of Victoria didn't want to be downstairs by herself. She headed up the steps with Homelander behind her. She climbed into bed without another word as he stripped down to his underwear. He crawled into the space next to her and turned the lights off. He closed his eyes, laying on his back as Victoria rested on her side next to him. He doubted he'd get much sleep, but he was content just to lay there.

"Thank you."

Her voice broke the dark silence and Homelander rolled his head to the side, looking at her back.

"For coming," Victoria clarified. "And for…for sorting it…"

"I'm never going to abandon you, Vicky," Homelander said.

She didn't reply. She just closed her eyes and Homelander listened as her breathing shallowed out and she was soon asleep, moving to lay on her other side and facing him. He wasn't sure how long she'd been asleep before the nightmares came. He wasn't entirely surprised. She began whimpering in her sleep, tossing and turning, the quilt getting caught around her body. Homelander had gotten used to this. He knew that he had to wait for her to wake up most times, but it never got any easier knowing that she was in pain. Finally, she woke herself up and he wasn't even sure she knew that she reached for him. She was still dozing, but he moved his arms around her, feeling her press her face against his neck and chest. He stroked her back as she drifted off to sleep again and a silent tear fell down his cheek as he remembered just how close he'd come to losing her.

…

Homelander had woken up before Victoria. He'd left her in bed, kissing her forehead before checking on Evelyn. He'd gotten his daughter washed and dressed, the two of them sitting in the kitchen and eating breakfast together. Homelander tried to keep her entertained as best as he could. Victoria had come down to find them eating scrambled eggs on toast. Homelander served her a portion, insisting that she sit down and wait for him to serve her. He moved his hands to his shoulders and kissed the top of her head as she sipped on her orange juice. He told her that he had to go for a quick meeting, but that she should stay there until he was back. She'd agreed without fighting him which had shocked him. Victoria never gave up the chance for a fight.

Heading to the meeting room, Homelander saw Sage stood in front of the television screens, remote in her hands. She'd text him and told him that she had news.

"What is it?" he asked, foregoing pleasantries.

"I figured you'd want to see this," she said. "I did some digging into Jacob Jones after you asked me to. Turns out I found something dynamite."

"What?" Homelander wondered and stood next to her.

She pressed play on the video on the screen and Homelander's gaze narrowed, eyes squinting at the screen as he looked at the blurry image. There were two men outside some bar. He knew that one was Jacob. He also knew the other one without having to focus too hard. His eyes widened and he shook his head.

"That can't be," he whispered in disbelief. How could it be him? Why would he be with a man who had tried to kill Victoria.

Homelander was stood there in awe, but Sage's face lit up with glee. She paused the video again as the other man turned around.

"It is."

"Why the hell would he be meeting with him?"

"That's an excellent question," Sage agreed. "And one that we're going to have to figure out."

Stepping closer to the screen, Homelander glowered at the flickering video as his glare refused to move away. "Your own sister," Homelander whispered. "What have you done, William?"

...

A/N: So the plot thickens! We're off on a little side quest here while we wait patiently for season five. Cannot believe we are now at over 100 chapters and you guys are still reading. It means so much to me! Let me know your theories/what you want to happen/any thoughts you have!