AN: This chapter catches the previous chapter up to the current timeline.
"Children, leave."
"But Kabuto…"
"Now!"
They obeyed. He would apologise to them later for snapping, all that mattered right now was getting them out of harm's way.
He was furious at himself for being so gullible and naive. He turned on Orochimaru.
"You promised! You swore you wouldn't use them! I trusted you!"
Hot tears burned his eyes.
"I only want them to be the strongest shinobi they can be."
"That's what you told the others. How could you do this? To them! To me! I'm so stupid!"
It hurts so much I can't breathe.
"Kabuto. Stop!" Orochimaru commanded, seizing him by the arms.
"Don't touch me!"
Orochimaru ignored him completely and pulled him into a tight embrace, trapping him. He struggled against it but had no hope of escaping the sannin.
"Stop. Calm down," Orochimaru said softly into his ear. "I would never betray you like that."
"Yes, you would. You've betrayed everyone you've ever known. Why would I be any different?"
"There's a very simple answer to that question. Do you want to hear it?"
I can't let him worm his way out of this. He'll find a way to make me believe his lies.
"No…"
"Come now," Orochimaru coaxed, hooking a finger under Kabuto's chin, tilting his face up. "Look at me."
Without another choice, he looked into Orochimaru's yellow eyes, something almost warm in them.
"It's because I love you, Kabuto. Your devotion to me has not gone unnoticed, nor has your diligence. I respect what you're doing here very much. I had a similar notion myself once, but my greed twisted it into something frightful. To do all this for the sake of others, to gain nothing from it, conveys a strength of character I greatly admire. You always possessed it, though stepping out of my shadow has made it more apparent. So I'll say it again in case you missed it the first time. I love you, Kabuto, and I want nothing now but to help you fulfil your role here. Please forgive me."
He loves me? Once, I'd have given anything to hear those words from him, but I can't let them impede my judgement now.
He pulled away.
"Let me talk to those kids first. If their story matches yours, I will."
"Yes, that's fair. Please go ahead."
xxx
He could hardly believe that Orochimaru was telling the truth. It filled him with immense relief, but there was guilt there too because he had jumped to the wrong conclusion. Though considering their past, that was fair enough, wasn't it? Still, he felt like he needed to apologise, so after the kids were tucked into bed, he sought the sannin out.
He found Orochimaru in the library. It was only a small collection of books and scrolls that they'd been able to source for free, but he knew Orochimaru would comb through them all, in case there was some snippet of information that might be useful to him one day.
Kabuto didn't bother with greetings, preferring to just get to the point.
"I talked to the children, their story matched yours so I'm here to apologise. I was out of line, I shouldn't have jumped to the wrong conclusion. I'm sorry."
Orochimaru just looked at him with mild amusement.
"I suppose it was a reasonable conclusion to jump to, though I'm glad you believe me now."
He was struggling with Orochimaru being back in his life, he didn't fit like he used to, and it was hard to know what to expect and how to act. He was in charge here, but deferring to Orochimaru felt so natural.
"It's difficult," he admitted. "I'm having a hard time believing that you could settle for this kind of life."
"To be honest, so am I. But after the war, I tried to resume my old lifestyle and it was wholly unsatisfying. I wracked my brain for the cause of my discontentment and what could be missing, and I kept coming back to you, Kabuto. I kept looking for you, expecting you to be there, and you weren't. And I have to admit that I didn't like the feeling, so here I am."
In part it made sense, he had taken care of many things for Orochimaru, but…
"I still don't get it. You have been so many things to so many people, and I'm just one underling. You could replace me easily enough."
Orochimaru frowned and drew closer.
"No, I could not. I don't know what it is, Kabuto, why you move me so much, but your story has affected me like no other. Perhaps it can be my new aim, trying to discover what it is about you that has me so enthralled."
Kabuto felt his face warm up and cursed himself. Stop it…
Orochimaru reached out and held his chin to get a better look.
"My, I do like that colour in your cheeks. Simply put, trying to recapture my old life was boring. I think I'm ready for something new. I've never tried romance before."
"Romance?!" Kabuto spluttered. It was so unexpected from the most ruthless ninja that had ever lived.
"Yes," Orochimaru laughed, leaning in. "Let's give it a try, Kabuto. Who knows what kind of secrets we might be able to unlock…"