Considering how random the series is, I figured that I should try and continue it until the end.
A Maelstrom's Venture
Chapter 7
Are You There, God! It's Me, Dean!
Amazon Jungle
Right now Naruto had a deadpan look on his face, with him being bored out of his mind, but that's mostly about him and his group being tied up and hanging upside down over a river, mostly due to dumb luck on The Monarch's side, where both the villain and Rusty began doing a "back and forth" about the candiru fish, with Rusty stating that the fish was a myth, but the Monarch believes it's true.
"Actually Doc, the little shits are true, I took a course on animal biology and they really do exist and are small enough to swim up a man's junk." Naruto soon states, causing The Monarch smile in victory, while making the Venture group start to worry, "BUT~ There's only been one case of the the little shits swimming up there, but people are stating that it MAY be a hoax." The group were 50/50 on their survival now, maybe 60/40 in their favour.
Only Dean starts complaining that he was in pain, which caused the group to be somewhat concerned for him, where Rusty began quoting a Guild Rule that would allow Dean to be taken to get medical help, which The Monarch was at first reluctant to do so, but had no choice to let them go, where Dean states that he was feeling pain in his loins. (Of course Dean said it in a childish way, but we're all adults here, so we know what he's talking about.)
Where Naruto looks at Dean for a second, "Yep, he's gonna need medical care, and since it came on all of a sudden, it might be genetics." Gaining some knowledge on how to inflict some pain in certain areas, mostly to get information, Naruto knew how to spot such a thing.
"What so what does that mean for Dean?" Hank couldn't help but ask, though pretty much everyone was looking towards the other Venture brother.
Monarch on the other hand, "Hold on, so does this mean that BOTH boys might have this problem, great~ just great, so what does that mean for me, since the Guild Law states that one of you must stay with me AND that if you're not back in 2 days I get to kill them." He states, seeing as he was holding the book and everything.
"Meh, I guess I'll go with you then, since my dad isn't gonna leave the others unprotected, since he is their bodyguard and everything." Naruto stated and offered, understanding how everyone might work.
Which the group quickly agrees to seeing as Dean was in tremendous pain, where as Hank, after hearing The Monarch state that he might have the same thing, was getting nervous, only for Brock to keep ahold of him, while covering his mouth so he doesn't scream so much in terror at what may or may NOT happen, with the group giving Naruto a wave that they'll see him later.
The Cocoon
On the flight to the villain's hideout, which happens to be the Grand Canyon, Naruto was looking through, and studying, the handbook, just to see if he could find any loopholes and any other type of stuff that he could capitalise on.
Though, as for The Monarch, he was feeling a little, uncomfortable right now, not the fact that Naruto was Brock's son, that was a different discomfort, but because of what happened the last time he "saw" Naruto, "(Ahem!) So~ um, d-do you mind if I asked a few questions concerning, um, let me think on how to word this, h-h-have you read the Kamasutra!?" Malcolm nervously asked.
This caused Naruto to look up from the book, slowly moves his eyes towards the villain in complete puzzlement and downright nervousness.
"Um, not sure if that's an appropriate question, not to mention the sexual harassment that-" "WHAT!? NO NONONONO! I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT!" Monarch quickly interrupted Naruto before he could continue.
Which the villain then tries to explain, "Look, what I mean is can you give me some advice to "spice up" my lovelife with my girlfriend, Dr. Girlfriend, that's all."
Hearing the somewhat "innocent" request, Naruto was somewhat puzzled stil, "O~kay? But why ask me, I mean, surely you could USE that Kama-thing, right."
Now that question had made the Monarch even more nervous, though seeing the man squirm in such a way, Naruto narrowed his eyes, "What did you do!?" Since he's seen such a reaction with the boys, whenever they were guilty of something.
"Umm, y-you know how I watch the Venture Compound to make sure that my arch-nemesis is there, w-well, I-I may have put some surveillance equipment in a certain motel room before you entered with a certain young lady." The man explained his crime, as well as the reason why he did such a thing, but it also explained why the man was nervous and asking Naruto such things.
Naruto's eyes widen at such a lack of judgement on his part, mostly because he was thinking with his "other" head at the time, "You son-of a-BITCH!" "(BASH!)" "GAAAHHOOOOOOWWWWWWWW!" Which Naruto's reaction was to first yell at the man, then punch him in the face, causing Malcolm to yell in pain, causing the flying vehicle to swerve ay such an impact.
A Few Hours Later
As Naruto and a new black eyed Monarch entered the Cocoon, with Naruto still having an angry look on his face at his private life being invaded in such a way, "How many times do I have to say "my bad" for spying on you!" Monarch exclaimed, getting a little sick of such a treatment.
"How about for the next 3 DAYS, nonstop(!)" Naruto answered with sarcasm, since no-one sure watch another person "having fun" for such a long time.
Hearing this caused The Monarch to flinch, whether it was from the black-eye or the guilt of doing such spying would be anyone's guess.
Only for them to walk into his surprise birthday party that the henchmen had set up, only for the man to accidentally shoot one of them with his poison dart, though he quickly apologised for that, while letting them see Naruto, causing the men to gasp at the sight of the offspring on two legendary figures of their world.
It wasn't long until both Naruto and Monarch were at the door to the man's bedroom, with both having cake, seeing as poison wouldn't really work on Naruto, which pretty much allows him to eat whatever he wants, though when they entered the room, they were shocked to see Dr. Girlfriend only wearing a pair of purple panties and a large purple ribbon that covers her chest, though this sight had also caused Malcolm to drop his cake.
Where both were surprised at the sight, where the Monarch quickly stops her from singing, since now wasn't a "good time" for such a "gift" where he tries to explain what was happening, "So I guess the blond one is alright, but can't we use the puppet again-!" Hearing this caused Naruto to raise an eyebrow, "NONO! SWEETY, This is Naruto Samson, son of Brock Samson, I captured him."
Hearing this, Dr. Girlfriend looks towards Naruto in question, with Naruto simply shaking his head in response, "Dean was hurt that didn't involve the "arching" stuff and needed to be taken for treatment, along with Hank in case he had the same condition, so I offered myself up." Though the Monarch was trying to stop him from spilling the beans, one glare from Naruto quickly reminded the man about the black eye he had.
"Oh! Yeah, I remember that article, alright, I suppose it's fine, now then." She understood completely about that part, "Now, honey, tell me why you've got a black eye?" Directing her question towards her boyfriend, which made him extremely uncomfortable.
Naruto soon had an angry look on his face, "That's because he told me about his spying on me during a certain "activity" with a girl I met!"
Hearing this her eyes widen, "Oh honey, no, please tell me you didn't."
"I'm sorry sweetie, really, I am, but I wanted to get some advice on how to spice things up in the bedroom, and the timing just seemed right to ask Naruto for help, I mean, he literally last 3 days straight, he obviously has "some" knowledge about pleasing his bedmates." He tried to explain himself.
Naruto groaned at such an excuse, "Okay look, how about I give you some lessons and stuff to study when I go, in exchange, you delete ALL footage of me and my time in the motel, deal." He figured he may as well help them out a little, and since they've no doubt got recordings of his time doing so, they agreed with such a request.
Next Day
It took sometime, but the studying was slowly coming through for the couple, though it was a little slow for them, mostly due to their minds remembering what they saw Naruto doing, and to have him in front of them, teaching them such lessons, they couldn't really help but lose their focus on the "subject" at hand.
Though during the lessons Rusty called in, explaining that it turned out Dean had Testicular Torsion, making everyone wince in sympathy, seeing as Rusty was on the large monitor, allowing everyone to hear such a thing, where he then explains that it was lucky that Hank was there to get tested as well, since his own loins were about to enter such a stage, meaning that their time frame was extended to four days, which gave Naruto enough time to each the couple about as much as he knew, but states that anything advance would've required physical, mental and spiritual training, not in sexual activities, but basic stamina and endurance building, which they could gain through normal exercise and training, but due to their lifestyle it was obvious they could only do so much training.
After that Naruto watches them as they delete ALL of his footages, though Dr. Girlfriend moaned at such a loss, since it certainly gave her "ideas" to use with Malcolm, but figured her imagination can help in that regards, since she wouldn't cheat on her boyfriend.
Though what neither had known was one of their henchmen, henchmen 21 and 24, had secretly downloaded the footage and had planned to sell it on the villains black market for some extra cash, with neither The Monarch or Dr. Girlfriend knowing about it, at least, not until they get a call asking about it a few months later.
But, all in all, things were pretty much back to normal, with the group being put back in the tree and everything, but both Naruto and Brock had managed to escape, beat Monarch and rescued the Venture family before they fell into the lake, seeing as both Dean and Hank had just gotten out of surgery involving said area, the father/son bodyguard couldn't really chance it.
The End.
Not much action on this chapter, but since the actual episode was a cry out to Testicular Torsion, it was obvious that there wouldn't be much.
Also while I'm sure a lot would've asked why Naruto didn't go on a pranking spree, instead of teaching Monarch and Dr. Girlfriend, I figured it would've been more funnier if Monarch had asked for help in that regards and revealing his and his girlfriend's knowledge on Naruto's skills in the bedroom department, just makes it more funnier. lol
I Do Not Own Naruto Or The Venture Bros.