Chapter 81 - Sleep

"Rin?"

The dark head swiveled in automatic response to look up at Sesshomaru beside her, long dark lashes framing her equally dark eyes. For several heartbeats there was utter silence between them, as their gazes locked. Although the gateway between their mind's was no longer open, he could still feel the warmth of her thoughts and her presence. Perhaps it was her mere proximity. He couldn't be sure. Rin's dark eyes searched his with her usual earnest innocence.

"Yes, Lord Sesshomaru?"

Lord Sesshomaru. For some unexplained reason, it was the adult Rin's voice echoing in his mind. The sound of it made something catch in his chest, he swallowed and found that his throat was tight. "I…" He closed his eyes for a long moment, attempting to clear his thoughts. Then, he reopened them, meeting her gaze again. "I was harsh today." Pausing, he pressed his lips together. "I did not mean to be."

Rin's brown eyes softened, from concerned questioning, to warmth and gentleness. "I know." She shifted, her hands gently placed the food from her lap, back into the small bag, and set it aside. After brushing the crumbs from her yukata, she turned to full face Sesshomaru. "I shouldn't have run off… it's just that I was so concerned about Kohaku after he things went so badly when I saw him last." For a moment she fell silent, though he couldn't see her face well in the shadows, he heard the tears in her voice. "I just wanted to be sure he was okay."

He didn't like Kohaku. If it wasn't for the mere fact that he'd recently saved Rin's life… Sesshomaru would have gone so far as to say he hated the human boy. But hearing how Rin felt, the tenderness she felt for the well-being of another human, was more powerful than the dislike he harbored.

Rin's eyes shifted up to meet his, tears brimmed , gleaming in the shadows. "I didn't mean to upset you Lord Sesshomaru. I… I'm sorry."

Turning away and closing his eyes, Sesshomaru grappled with his feelings, his face remaining perfectly stoic despite the inner turmoil. My intent was always for her to live a human life. Why now am I tormented, thinking about the future? An image rose to his mind unbidden, the beautifully alluring adult Rin. Still as sweet, but no longer a child. The image was joined by a second figure… an equally adult Kohaku, who joined Rin and put his arms around her laughing. Sesshomaru's blood boiled at the thought. It was at that moment that he realized what he felt. As if lighting had hit him. Jealousy. How could I possibly be jealous of a human?

He let out a long breath, and turned to look at Rin again. If she wants to live a human life… that will be her choice. When she is old enough to make it. Right now, the girl who was under his protection was sitting quietly asking for his forgiveness… after he had been the one who should have apologized. A single tear traced its way down her cheek, and his resolve melted.

"You are a kind and gentle soul, Rin. There is no fault in that." He reached out toward her haltingly, she lifted her eyes to look up at him beneath wet lashes. Lightly he wiped the tear from her cheek with his knuckle. "You should rest." Sesshomaru said softly, withdrawing his hand.

Rin smiled, her sweetness he had grown to expect and enjoy, rising to the surface again. With a happy sigh she leaned into the mountainous fluff of his mokomoko, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Sesshomaru tensed, his first impulse to pull away… but he found that he couldn't move away from her. The smile on her face as she curled into his fur was almost angelic. Is she not aware that the mokomoko is part of me?

"Your fur is so soft Lord Sesshomaru." Rin murmured, her voice thick with sleep.

Apparently, she does know. He sighed faintly and reached out to wrap the fur around her shoulders. There was an awareness that he should not be permitting such frivolous behavior. But she would not be denied such a simple pleasure, it would harm no one. But it will make it harder to let her go later. A voice reminded him. He pushed the thought away and focused on the present moment. So, he watched her in silence as she drifted to sleep, her lips parted and breath warm on his fur. Already having permitted so much, he gave himself allowance for one more indulgence. Sesshomaru reached out and gently brushed that same stray hair away from her cheek. The same one that always seemes to taunt him. In the darkness of the shadow of the sacred mountain, enshrouded in mist, with no one to see... Sesshomaru smiled softly. "Sleep well... sweet Rin."