Three years before the Prologue
(Spoilers for the main story)
"I told you, it's not safe! We should leave while we still can, Nessa!"
For the first time ever, they were arguing. Oh, they had had their disagreements in the past, sure, but not like this. Never like this. Asra was almost shouting, panic evident in his eyes. He was scared. As was she. Still, she shook her head calmly, a sad smile on her lips.
"This is my home, Asra. I can't just leave like that, and leave everyone suffering from this plague. If there is anything I can do to help, I will."
"Do you really think you can do anything?! What if the doctors don't find a cure!"
"Then I will have tried."
Asra saw the determination in her eyes, and sat again, looking defeated, his curly white bangs falling on his face, covering his eyes. After a short silence, she softly added:
"I know you're worried. And I understand. You should leave, Asra, and don't come back before the plague has been taken care of."
"You really think I'd leave without you?!" He replied, frowning, his voice shaking.
The last thing she wanted was to make him cry. She'd rather he be angry at her, and call her foolish. Maybe she was a fool, naive, to think she could help. She just couldn't accept that this town, the people living here, would all die of this plague. She felt she had to do something. Something was compelling her to do this. It just felt right to her.
"I hope you will, Asra. I know you can build a life for you anywhere, it's in your nature. But I can't."
"You really are decided, aren't you…" He sighed, looking her in the eyes, silently pleading.
"I have already applied as an apprentice to the nearby clinic. They'll soon assign me someone to assist."
"Then I suppose we are done discussing this."
She simply nodded, holding back tears of her own. They had grown so close these past few years, she hated the idea of them parting ways, especially like that. It felt like losing a part of her. But it was needed. Maybe it would prove to be a good thing. Maybe he would be the one finding something, on his travels. One could only hope.
As for her, she would fight for a future here. She would fight for the city she had lived all her life in, the city where they had met. And she would win.
Or die trying.
"It's nice to meet you, Doctor Devorak. My name is Nessa, and I am your apprentice starting today." She greeted the man in front of her.
A tall and slender figure, wild auburn curls, mischievous gray eyes, and a warm smile. She instantly recognized he was a good person and that they would get along well. His aura was a positive one.
"A pleasure to work with you, Nessa. Let's start right away, shall we?"
She nodded with a smile. It had taken time to get used to Asra's absence. After days of crying and relearning how to live and take care of the shop alone, a letter came informing her she was more than welcome to help in the clinic, and that the doctor that would take her under his wing was Doctor Devorak. Maybe now, she could forget about Asra for a while, and focus on her mission.
They had worked tirelessly for months now. They had lost so many, yet were still far from finding a cure to this plague. Its origin still remained a mystery, and offered no clue as to how to treat it. Julian was on the verge of a burn-out, and Nessa could see it well.
At first, they had worked a healthy amount, in a very organized manner. Julian wasn't the only doctor studying the plague. They had actually been a lot more coming a few weeks after her own arrival. They hadn't taken their time either, but they still rested and took their meals. They had taken breaks, and it had helped them get closer as they got to know each other better. Julian was a passionate and dramatic person, and she loved him for that. He made the whole situation slightly more bearable.
Now, everyone was slowly losing themselves. The pressure of all these deaths was suffocating. Nessa knew they couldn't even bury the victims properly anymore, and had to send the patients to the Lazaret, where they slowly died, their remains incinerated and messily buried wherever there was still some space to do so.
All this situation was sickening and after a while, Julian and her, as close as they were, were starting to drift apart. They only talked about work, even if Nessa tried to make sure he rested and ate from time to time. She'd bring him coffee, even when it was hard for her to keep standing. On some days, it felt like he'd barely acknowledge her presence, too engrossed in his work. Obsessed, even.
She wasn't angry, or even vexed. She understood. So when she woke up one morning with a fever and the sclera of her eyes turning red, she was even glad he hadn't seen her. She had carefully taken care of her work for one last day, making sure her papers wouldn't infect anyone, and then she took off for the Lazaret. She had simply left a letter for Julian, betting on the fact he would see it too late. Praying he would. He cared about her too much. If he knew she had died, he would definitely be shaken. His current state already hurt her to see. This was the last thing she could do for him. Disappearing quietly.
Lying on her back, coughing and whimpering, the fever overtaking her, she thought about Asra. He had been right all along. There really was nothing she could do. Still, she believed in Julian. If someone could find a cure, it would be him. And all this time spent helping him and the patients wasn't time lost. She regretted nothing.
That's when she saw him. At first, she thought it was all a hallucination caused by the fever, but she soon felt a dark aura from the presence, convincing her it was real. She had never met him before, but she recognized him all the same. He looked at her sickly thin figure with an expression resembling pity, his gaze going to her red eyes, and the angry red streaks on her skin.
"Don't you feel your death is unfair?" He asked, his piercing red eyes boring into hers. "Don't you wish you could survive this? I can help you with that."
"No, thank you." She mumbled slowly, her breath laborious.
"Don't you regret it?"
"I simply regret leaving them. But I trust them. One day, they'll be fine."
"What if I offered to give that doctor of yours the cure?"
Nessa chuckled weakly, her vision going blurry.
"He doesn't need you for that, Devil. I know he will find it on his own."
"You will come to regret this, little magician."
"I doubt that." She asserted, one last spark in her eyes, before she closed them.
It was okay. She wasn't even scared anymore. She smiled, just to spite him.
"Where is Nessa? I need to speak to her."
Julian hadn't seen her in days. Or was it weeks? He had been so focused on his work he hadn't noticed his apprentice hadn't come to him for her reports. She usually was also the one reminding him to sleep or take care of himself. He felt a bit guilty for not taking better care of her. While his work was a priority, he still shouldn't have left his apprentice alone. He knew she was as affected as him by the situation at hand, and instead of suffering on their own, they should stick together and lift each other up.
Determined to take a day's break and dedicate it to his cute apprentice, he had ventured out of his office to go look for her. Except she wasn't in the places she'd usually be. A bit surprised, he had asked another apprentice, working under a different doctor. The apprentice, whom he did not even recognize, didn't even seem to know who he was talking about. Frowning, he kept on walking, until finally finding a doctor he knew personally, from before the plague.
"Nessa? Oh, Julian… Come here."
Julian froze for a moment, realizing something was terribly wrong. Why wasn't the answer clearer? Why wasn't it an "Oh, she's there!" or a "She actually went home for the day!". Had she decided to stop working with him? He wouldn't have blamed her, given the situation and him neglecting her recently. But then, his friend could have simply told him as such. Had something happened to her? Was she hurt?
"She came to me a few weeks ago and gave me this for you."
His heart hammering in his chest, Julian sat down on a chair in his friend's office as instructed before being handed out a letter. As soon as he opened it, he recognized his dear apprentice's handwriting, although it did seem a bit messier than usual. Maybe even a bit shaky. That wasn't unusual for him -people always said they couldn't read his handwriting- but a bit uncommon for Nessa, who always made sure people could read her with ease. She used to say that the time it took her to carefully write was way less than the time saved for all those who would read her in the future. He thought it was amusing, how serious she was about it. Today, however, he couldn't smile about it, worried about the content of the letter in his hands.
"Dear Julian,
Do you remember the day we met? I instinctively knew we'd get along. You know, I wasn't sure there was something I could do. I was worried I'd get in your way instead of helping. But you were patient, and taught me so much. You made me more confident I had made the right choice. I was and still am so proud to have been your apprentice, as well as your friend, Julian. I cherish the moments we spent together, so precious and rare, considering the situation.
If you're reading this, then it means you found out about my absence. I caught the plague, Julian. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I just knew you'd be worried and wouldn't be able to carry on your work as before. And I refuse to get in your way.
I'm already at the Lazaret. Don't look for me there. I don't want to distract you, and much less for you to see me that way. Please remember me as that cute apprentice who nagged you to go sleep for a few hours. I am not scared at all, so please don't worry too much.
At the moment I'm writing this, we still haven't found a cure for the plague. I know all this pressure is breaking you. But I'm not worried. I know you will find a cure, Doctor Devorak. I never doubted it. I just regret not being able to witness the moment you'll find it with my own eyes.
Keep being you, Julian, take care and stay safe,
Love you,
Your cute apprentice,
Nessa."
When Julian finally tore his eyes away from the letter, his friend wasn't in the room anymore. He had left him alone to give him some space. The doctor couldn't tear his eyes away from the date she had marked on the top right corner of the letter. This was written over a month ago.
"No…" he whispered, refusing to understand what this meant. "No no nonono-"
She was long gone. There probably wasn't anything left of her by now. She had died in the Lazaret, on that damn island, alone, because he had simply forgotten about her. While he was busy burying himself under a mountain of work, she was drawing her last breath, knowing he had failed to find a cure.
He had failed. He had failed her, like he had failed so many before. Like he was failing so many right now. She had trusted him, threw herself in this with him, determined to help, and now she wasn't there anymore. He'd never see her again. Her contagious smile, her eyes shining brightly, the way her cheeks would become red with embarrassment, her laughter when he told her about a stupid story from his past, her calm demeanor when it felt like everything was falling apart around them, the way she took care of the people around her. The late night discussions after work, when they were too tired to talk properly and kept laughing at each other. They had promised each other to go to the next Masquerade together, when everything would have been settled. They would have danced the night away, letting all the stress and the fear behind.
And now it was all gone.
He cried. The tears wouldn't stop, especially once he noticed that the paper had been stained with tears of her own too. How scared she must have been. How unfair this all was. She was the kindest soul he had ever met, so dedicated to learn and help as much as she could. It was his fault. Maybe he should have rejected her application, or driven her home, pretexting she wasn't a good fit. No, she would have found another way. She had once told him she lost someone really important to her by deciding to stay and help. She had been that determined.
Then he definitely should have paid more attention to her. She was his apprentice dammit! She was under his responsibility. He was supposed to take care of her, yet it had been the other way around. He had just assumed she'd always be there. He had grown so used to having her around, he would have never imagined anything could happen to her.
But Nessa was human, and could catch the plague, just like anyone else.
When he finally stood up, decided to go back to work and find this damn cure even if it was the last thing he did, he saw another letter on the table in front of him. Another letter, in the same handwriting. Addressed to someone else. He took it with him carefully. If there was one document he would never lose or damage, it would be this letter.
After a while, Julian ended up working in the palace. He now had more means to find out more about a cure. Although he wasn't feeling comfortable in the dungeons, especially not given the lack of ethics of his coworkers, he at least felt like going somewhere. Although it wouldn't bring her back, he felt like he owed it to her, at least.
The pain of losing her had slightly dulled over time, but not his guilt. Until he had met them. Countess Nadia and Asra the magician. They quickly became friends in the midst of this awful situation. He needed the company, and was suspecting it was the same for them too. Spending time together helped him keep a balanced life, not overworking himself and staying as healthy as he could given the circumstances. He didn't want to disappoint her, not again.
And then he had gotten closer to Asra, in a different way. He didn't know that much about him, admittedly. And he didn't like how aloof he was with the research about the plague. He didn't seem that serious about it. No, it even seemed like he was there for something else entirely sometimes. Still, he was helping, and Julian knew he was a good guy. And there was something so attractive about him. So it didn't take very long for them to hit it off. Until that day.
The day Asra mentioned her. That's when Julian remembered the letter. It was him. He hadn't realized since no one had asked him for news of Nessa. But here Asra was, and he was that important someone Nessa had mentioned. The one she wanted to say goodbye to the most. He had frozen, horrified and wracked with guilt. He had slowly retrieved the letter for Asra. And then it had never been the same. It had felt like Asra despised him. He couldn't blame him, since he felt the same way about himself. Still, Asra's accusations hurt, and wouldn't bring her back either.
Besides, Asra had left her, abandoned her. He had run away like a coward, while she had stayed. How could he judge when he didn't know how the situation had been at the time?
Oh, how he regretted having ever uttered these words. He had hurt Asra, and himself in the process. He had just been so frustrated with it all. Nessa had died because of him, and he was still far from finding that cure. Nothing felt right anymore. And so, he buried himself in work again. He didn't care anymore. He just wanted to put an end to that plague.
"Dear Asra,
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry about the way we parted. While I still don't regret my choice, I should have been more understanding of your worries. You were right, after all. There was nothing I could do, Asra. And I did catch the plague in the end, like you thought I would.
It's alright though, I did what felt right. I still helped people, and I want to believe I helped Julian at the very least. He's the doctor who took me on as his apprentice. I wish you could meet him. I'm sure you'd get along well. You both are fantastic people who deserve only the best, and whom my absence will hurt, I know it.
I wish I could have said goodbye, Asra. I really do. I will have to settle for this letter instead. As I'm writing this, I feel calm. I'm not even scared. Just worried for you. I hope you're doing well, wherever you may be. I'm glad you left, and got away from all of this. Please stay safe, Asra. No matter what, stay far away from this plague. I hope you'll come back to Vesuvia only once everything here is settled.
I understand this will be hard to accept, but please move on. And do not blame yourself, nor the doctor. This was no one's fault. I do not blame anyone for what happened. I was simply unlucky, like so many before me.
The shop is yours, do with it whatever you want. It's fine to erase all traces of me if it helps.
Don't do anything reckless, Asra.
I love you,
Your Nessa"
She opened her eyes slowly, her vision blurry for a while, before finally adjusting to the world around her. In front of her was a man with white hair. His eyes were closed, and his arms wrapped around her in a loose embrace. Her heart started beating faster while a splitting headache overtook her. She winced with a whimper, her movements waking up the person next to her.
"...Nessa? Nessa, are you awake?"
Nessa? Was that her name? She didn't know. She didn't know anything. Who was that person, who was she? Panic started to rise in her mind as she realized how lost she was. The tears started to pour, pain and confusion wracking her with sobs. The stranger hugged her tighter, one hand brushing her back in soothing motions.
"Shh, it's fine, Nessa, just relax, it'll be okay."
It took her some time to even breathe again and relax her muscles. When the headache became more bearable, she lifted her eyes to meet the stranger's. She murmured, with fear in her voice:
"I don't know. Anything."
The stranger had looked pained, but it soon was replaced by determination and something else she couldn't exactly pinpoint.
"It's okay, I'll help you. My name is Asra, and you are Nessa. Don't be scared, I'm here."