Chapter 57: Detention
"Our detentions could've been doing something interesting in the Forbidden Forest AND given us a chance to poke around for that monster, but instead I'm mopping up Clarke's cauldron wastewater," grumbled James.
Ariadne sighed as she paused in between scrubbing a shelf of potion ingredients, all of the jars and bottles arrayed on the ground beside her. "McGonagall doesn't want to give us the opportunity to get into any more trouble. She'll be giving us the safest possible punishments from now on," she answered.
"We'll just have to be more clever than her, then," replied Sirius blithely, twiddling his wand at a particularly foul corner of the potions dungeon and cleaning it with a well-placed Scouring Charm.
Ariadne set down her rag again and stared at him with crossed arms. "Black, we're not allowed to use magic," she said through clenched teeth.
"And who, my dear Morrigan, is going to stop me?" replied Sirius, gesturing grandly around to the dungeon, which was empty of anyone besides the Marauders.
Ariadne returned to scrubbing her shelf somewhat grumpily. "The whole point of detention is to be punished. Besides, if everything looks too clean, McGonagall will suspect you've used magic."
"Ariadne, James and I are hardly novices at this detention jaunt," said Sirius. "We know exactly how to do a shoddy-enough looking job at cleaning while using magical shortcuts." As if to demonstrate, he sent a jet of water with his wand into a filthy school cauldron, which scrubbed away the thickest residue but left an unpleasant oily sheen over it all.
"If you finish early, it's not like you can just leave," Ariadne pointed out. "McGonagall will expect us to be in here for two hours, at least."
"Quite correct, Morrigan, but finishing early still allows us to pursue our choice of activities in the surplus time, here in the dungeon," replied Sirius with satisfaction, having blasted clean the last cauldron and seated himself comfortably on a table.
"Honestly Sirius is right, Ariadne, only chumps actually follow all the rules during detention," said James, now attempting a drying spell to mop up the puddle of dirty water on the floor, but only succeeding in pushing it around the classroom.
Sirius's eyes glinted with the suspicion of something juicy that he wanted to confirm. "Any seasoned detention-goers know this, but your stubborn adherence to the rules makes me think that perhaps…Ariadne Morrigan has never done this before."
"I've cleaned up toad spleens before, Black," said Ariadne in her no-nonsense tone. She knew what he was getting at but she certainly wasn't going to help him get there.
"Naturally," said Sirius knowingly. "I'm, of course, referring to getting a detention."
James let the mop he was holding, having abandoned the drying spell effort, fall to the floor with a clatter. Even Remus looked up.
"You've never had detention before, Morrigan?" said James, gaping in disbelief.
Ariadne crossed her arms again, defiantly. "Traditionally, my role has been to assign detentions, not receive them," she said tautly.
There was a brief pause, then the dungeon walls echoed with James and Sirius's cheers. "I think this calls for a small celebration," said Sirius with a wink, conjuring a couple butterbeers from a concealed cabinet in the dungeon.
"You keep butterbeer in the potions classroom?" It was Ariadne's turn to display disbelief.
"James and I have spent enough detentions down here to warrant a little secret stash to lighten the monotony," said Sirius, popping the cap off his bottle. "I knew you wouldn't like it, Morrigan, that's why I never offered you any during our late night Polyjuice Potion sessions," he added in a lower tone, just for her.
Recalling the intoxicating tension of those nights, Ariadne reflected that they probably hadn't needed alcohol, anyway. She begrudgingly accepted a bottle as James, Sirius and Remus raised a toast to her first detention.
"Only in your twisted Marauder world is getting detention a cause for celebration," Ariadne made sure to add before sipping her drink. "You're all crazier than Umbric the Unhinged."
Sirius simply took a swig of butterbeer and winked at her.
After a few minutes of leisurely chat, Sirius drained his butterbeer and set it down firmly on the table which also served as his seat. (Ariadne noticed he much preferred table tops to actual chairs, which weren't lacking in the dungeon classroom. She suspected it had something to do with the added height this gave Sirius, even in a seated position.)
"All right then, now that the dungeon is sparkling—well, not too clean, actually—we can turn our attention to more important matters," he said.
"Like petitioning McGonagall about unfair it is that I still had to do detention after getting my arm slashed open three days ago?" said James, cheerier from the beer but still a bit resentful at the whole affair.
"While the injustice of your cause is acknowledged, Potter, I was more referring to the plot to unleash a dangerous monster of unknown origin on the castle in about a week," replied Sirius.
James inclined his head at Sirius as if to say, fair enough.
Ariadne frowned as she replaced jars of pickled toad livers and murtlap tentacles on a shelf. "Well, we know the date and location, but we still don't know what it is or exactly what the Death Eaters' plans are. So what can we do?"
"Prepare," said Sirius simply.
Ariadne felt as though she could internally combust with a mixture of emotions. She almost didn't know whether to begin with sarcasm, disbelief, or just rage.
She somehow managed to combine them all. "You might want to get checked, Black, because it seems like the fumes from bubotuber pus might have addled your brain."
Sirius arched an eyebrow at her questioningly.
"I know there's no way you could be in your right mind, because I think I just heard 'I-can-wing-it', master of improvisation, and 'studying is rubbish' Sirius Black suggest that we should prepare."
"Well, perhaps I've taken a leaf out of your book," Sirius answered, again, very simply.
This answer disarmed Ariadne's boiling frustration that Sirius had been ignoring her advice for so long but suddenly, seemingly overnight, become responsible.
Ariadne crossed her arms again. "All right then, what do you suggest?"
Sirius waved his wand at the chalkboard in the classroom and a list of defensive spells, jinxes and hexes appeared there. "Let's begin here," he said in an uncharacteristically professional tone.