All I have to say about this one beforehand is; I hope you all appreciate the things I do to keep y'all engaged with my fanfics… and that I have never been so cringed at being purposefully cringey…
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WARNING: The following contains graphic violence, strong language, sexual themes, cringy tropes, as well as rampant demon (and human) horniness… so yes, it's intended for mature audiences.
VIEWER/READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED!
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3rd Person POV
The scene opens on the desk at the I.M.P. office where a mission folder is tossed open on Blitzø's desk to reveal the mission info from the client alongside a poster for some kind of anime;
TARGET: Emberlynn Pinkle
LOCATION: Boring suburbs, in a boring town Rockview USA
DESCRIPTION: Gothy 20 something
INFO: She shipped Scrimbleson with Shawnathan instead of Blorbinzo 7 years ago, and it's basically incest or something, not really but dis bitch seems really upset about it.
In the Living World, Blitzø is seen skulking through the bushes as he chats on the phone,
"Aw thanks Mills, but I don't think I need backup to take down some suburban college girl." He paused for a second to listen to her question before answering, "I only brought the puss 'cause they were fighting with my Loony Toony, so you enjoy that bullshit musical and stop trying to use me as an excuse to get out of it-"
As if on cue, Jin leaped out of the bushes and made exaggerated spy motions as they surveyed the area and tried to roll forward only to fall to the side before rapidly getting back up and running off toward the house just as Blitzø was retorting back to Millie,
"-Hey, look. If I had to sit through that miserable French hog shit, well so do you, okay? Bye Mills!"
He hung up and dove into the bushes after Jin as they both came up to the target's house and peeped through the window to the living room where a man and woman were watching TV from the couch.
Chuckling mischievously, Blitzø saw a window close to a tree in the front yard and Jin meowed in a challenging tone before they started to scramble up the tree ahead of him,
"No ya don't…!"
Blitzø was quick to catch up with them and grabbed their tail to stop them from getting to the top first but also made them yowl in pain,
"MRE!"
Almost blowing their cover when the father turned on the front yard light and Blitzø grabbed Jin by the scruff of their neck to dive into the tree leaves as the father stuck his head out the window before grumbling as he turned off the light and went back to the couch,
"Damn trash pandas…!"
Sticking their heads out of the foliage to make sure their cover wasn't blown, Blitzø scolded Jin in a hiss whisper,
"You almost got us caught…!"
"Hssss…!"
Making them hiss back at him before sticking their nose up and away from him snobbily before they noticed the target through the bedroom window and pointed with their nose.
Once Blitzø caught onto what they saw he chuckled darkly before the both of them stalked across the tree branch to get to the window,
"Oh ho, ho. Bingo. B-Y-N-G-O."
After putting his knife out from his coat, Blitzø quietly opened up the window and stepped in while singing to himself,
I love killing, shooting things, I'll use a saw! I'll use a fork, too! Da dun, da da.
As Blitzø danced around in place, Jin was seen watching him with an unamused expression before gesturing a paw out in a "we doing this today or what?" manner and Blitzø started sneaking up behind Emberlynn while continuing singing and making little motions with his hands,
I love killing things with any kind of weapon, give me a knife and I'll kill someone and today it's gonna be a stupid bitch!"
However, just after Blitzø stabbed the knife down, a bright golden forcefield surrounded Emberlynn and protected her from the strike, making his knife ricochet back into his face, knocking him backward with a pained grunt,
"Oof! Ow, what the FUCK?!"
Right before his knife went flying past Emberlynn's face and struck her demon-goat plushie instead as she screamed and fell over after making the show she was watching minimize on her screen,
"AHHH!"
Before popping back up with an interested, "Oh!" and changing to a love-struck, "~Ohh~"
From downstairs, her parents seemed to have heard the commotion and looked away with aversion as her father commented in disgust,
"Ugh, must be watching them damn 'hen-tays' again."
Before her mother shouted desperately,
"Why won't she leave?!"
Meanwhile back upstairs in her room, Blitzø was still recovering from the physical blowback with Jin in a puffed-up defensive position after witnessing what had just happened and Emberlyyn was staring in awe at both of them as she questioned in wonder,
"Oh my god! What… are you?"
"I'm your worst fucking nightmare, bitch!" Blitzø shouted before getting back up and lunging toward her, only to get sent right back on his ass as Emberlynn's pendant was seen glowing and creating the holy shield around her that repelled him back.
"HSSSS!" Jin took a stab at attacking her with their claws unsheathed in an air lunge-
*TCH!*
Only to faceplant against the shield and slowly, yet comedically, slide to the floor before Blitzø yelled incredulously,
"Fuck! How are you doing this? What is that?!"
"It's official merch from 'Akuma no Otto.'" Emberlynn held up said pendant as she started explaining enthusiastically, "It's the pendant given to Setsuki in episode 5-6-9 that protects its wearer from-" Before she stopped to ask, her demeanor changing uncomfortably fast as a crazed expression appeared on her face, "-wait, are you a demon? Like… a real demon?"
"Yeah, basically. Look, where did you even get something like-" Blitzø answered and started to ask before he was cut off by Emberlynn feigning helplessness as she "cried out" while making dramatic motions,
"A demon? Here to steal a little kitten like me? Forced to be part of your demonic harem, 'blushes..'"
Jin looked straight up revolted at her actually saying "blushes" while Blitzø was just confused as he started to question,
"Huh? Why d'you think I would do something like that?"
Before they both took notice of the endless piles of monster-lover merch from books to figurines to other… interesting products and Blitzø commented only mildly disturbed at the revelation,
"Ohhhh, you're one of those."
Before Emberlynn started circling him with interest in her lustful gaze
"So what're your names?"
"Uhhh.. Blitzø… this's Jin…"
"What are you gonna do to me, Pi-Jin and Blitzy-kun?" Emberlynn wailed as she threw herself against a bookshelf filled with her smutty monster-lover fantasies.
"Uh… Apparently nothing while you're wearing that." Blitzø answered bluntly but Emberlynn wasn't taking the hint as she continued posing and crooning out in a provocative tone with a heavy blush still set on her face,
"I don't feel like myself. Are-are you… putting some sort of-nasty spell over me?"
"What? No, I'm literally just standing here, lady." Blitzø continued his more-or-less unfazed manner while Jin just sat by his feet with their head tilted in a confused and disturbed manner.
"If you say so, master." She drew out as she sank to the floor on her knee before moaning suggestively, "I mean… ~...daddy...~"
"Mr-l-l-l-egh!" Jin full-on body shuddered in disgust before recoiling away when Emberlynn started crawling toward them as she continued trying to live out her fantasy,
"But when you look into my eyes, it's like I have no control over my…."
She leaned in close looking like she was about to kiss Blitzø before she slapped him instead making him cry out in pain,
"No!"
*TCH!*
"Ahh-haaah!"
"You demonic brute!" She "scolded" him and he took mild offense from it,
"Heeey…."
Before grabbing Jin and whirling away dramatically as she exclaimed while holding them close like a plushy toy,
"I'm too pure a heart for you to corrupt!"
"Mrow!" Jin meowed, struggling to get out of her grasp while also looking confused as to how she was able to slap Blitzø and grab them while they were unable to do anything to her, before she gasped dramatically and held them out in front of her before monologuing,
"All these voices! They cry out for freedom! HAAH!"
She gasped before crushing them to her chest muffling their meow squeaks as she continued rambling,
"It's like they're the living embodiment of Monsutābōi HAAH and I'm Dearest!"
Using her hands to grab a sketchpad decorated with more monster lover pride stickers, Jin remained lodged in Emberlynn's chest as she began to rapidly draw Jin as a broody anthropomorphic cat human with no shirt, a six-pack, and holding a drawing Emberlynn to their chest and other poses page after page after page after page until the whole sketchpad was filled up within seconds different Jin looks as she continued "theorizing,"
"Were they cursed by a wicked ex-lover who feared losing them so much they made it so no one else could ever love them?! HAAH!"
She tossed the sketchpad away and the pages went flying everywhere before she held Jin up from under their front arms as she gazed at them with gleaming tear-filled eyes as she breathed out longingly,
"Or perhaps their voice was stolen from them and the only way to return it… is with a kiss…"
Without so much as a warning, she puckered up and pulled Jin into a deep kiss that made them go cross-eyed from the sudden inability to breathe as the soul-sucking smooch made even Blitzø recoil in horror from where he was forced to watch,
"MMMMMMMMMMWAAAAH!"
"KLCK!" Jin coughed as they drooped down in Emberlynn's hold from their lightheadedness at the smothering they had just endured with some mixed saliva dripping from the corner of their mouth, no doubt from the frenching she had attempted on them.
"~OHHHHH!~ I'm not the chosen one for you!" She lamented with teary eyes as she tossed Jin away with one arm while the other was clenched on her chest over her heart in a heartbroken fashion turned away from where she'd thrown them.
"MROW…!" Jin yowled "quietly" as they sailed through the air before Blitzø managed to catch them with a relieved, but still totally over this whole situation,
"Oh, thank fucking Satan…"
Emberlynn perked back up to circle Blitzø and Jin again, making them sweat nervously as she questioned exuberantly,
"Satan? Is that your lord? The one you plan to offer me to as a sexual sacrifice? HAAH!"
Gasping, yet again, she rushed over to her computer and began typing up the fanfiction scenario she was describing at freakishly hyperspeed that any other semi-normal, more-or-less well-adjusted geek would've killed to have as a skill,
"But once you have me, you realize you could never go through with it because I'm the only woman who could ever make you feel something after the loss of your wife!"
She stopped typing with hearts and stars in her eyes while Blitzø frog-blinked in empty thought and Jin face-palmed to the best of their abilities as she kept freaking going,
"Your wife, who was the first one your lord Satan took as a concubine. But now you'd rather have me!" Emberlynn continued dragging herself around her room dramatically before striking a helpless pose, "And you'd rather fight him to the death than allow me to come to the same fate!"
"Ew. Lady look, I was sent here to kill you, alright?" Blitzø backed away with his hands raised as Jin hid behind his boots as he tried to explain, "You were a bitch online one time, someone didn't like it, they put a hit on you, I know it's excessive but I don't make the rules, oh well."
"You want to kill… meee?" She looked back at him with a coquettish puppy-dog look, annoying Blitzø to say with his eye twitching,
"Oh yeah.. Even more now…"
"Of course! You want to take my mortal soul to Hell so that we can be together forever!" She clawed with want at Blitzø, who just stepped out of her reach and face-palmed while saying, slowly running out of already nonexistent patience for this whole mission,
"Look, whatever gets you there. Can you just take off the necklace and hand over my knife?"
"Yes master! HAAH!" She got up in Blitzø and Jin's space again before feigning indecisiveness as she kept going back and forth, "No, I mustn't. But I want you! My soul… but I'm destined for this!"
Falling to the floor theatrically before Blitzø just deadpanned,
"Bitch, can we hurry this up…?"
Grabbing his knife from the demon goat plushy she cried out as she sliced the necklace off her neck,
"~OHHHHH YEEEESSS!~"
Sending it flying out the window behind Blitzø and Jin as the latter watched it go with worry while the former just deadpanned again,
"Thanks."
"Make it quick, my demon prince!" Emberlynn presented his knife back to him before dipping backward in Blitzø's arms in a fainting pose making him make a face before plunging his knife right into her heart.
"HAAH! AAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!"
Making her moan loudly and wantonly, disturbing the fuck out of Blitzø as he retched
"Eugh. Can you please stop enjoying this so much? Fuck."
And Emberlynn teared up as she uttered her last words right into his ear,
"I will see you… on the other side… my.. Blitzy-kun…"
Before dying in Blitzø's arms finally with him stabbing her a couple more times for good measure,
"Stab. Stab stab…"
After dropping her lifeless body, Blitzø rubbed the Asmodean crystal to open the portal back to the office and Jin jumped down from where they were seen perched on the windowsill to perform the litter box move on Emberlynn before hopping into the portal after Blitzø.
Back at the office, Loona was seen reading at her desk while scratching Jin's head as they were lying splayed out and face down on the desk, seemingly forgiven for their earlier clash, at the same time Blitzø was seen talking with the client on the phone, facepalming as he spoke boredly,
"Hey, yeah, it's done. So you can go ahead and wire me that money now, and I'll go ahead and never think about this night ever again."
Unfortunately, his unspoken wish was shat back in his face when a shrill voice called from outside making the three of them go wide-eyed,
"I'm here, Blitzy-kuuun!"
Making Blitzø creep up to peek through the window at the street below the building to see Emberlynn, now a catlike sinner dressed in similar clothing to what she was wearing when she died, on the street below calling out excitedly before turning to desperate want,
"I saw your billboard! I'm here for you, my love! I'll be by your side forever!"
And Blitzø slowly slid down out of sight from the window even as she kept calling out,
"BLITZY-KUUUN!"
At the same time, Jin was seen cowering and shivering in Loona's lap where they jumped from the trauma that the girl had put them through and Loona smirked before continuing petting their head.
AN- I will never be able to get the time spent watching and rewatching this short over and over again back or unsee the things I researched for this short… and yet, I know there are faaaaaar worse things that still exist in the darkest recesses of the internet… BUUUUT ANYWAYS hope you all found this one entertaining at the very least with Jin's involvement and am still working on "Forged by Fire" so I hope to have that out soon (I promise it'll be worth the wait! ;)
Some notes and references for this one:
- The rapid drawing segment was based on the similar moment in "Turning Red"
- "Monsutābōi" is a spoof of the anime "Monster Musume" with "Dearest" being "Darling" or something like that (Full disclosure I only read the synopsis for the show so I don't actually know who's who…)
AGH! I can't wait for Ghostfuckers later this week (but I don't know if this mama is ready for more trauma when it comes to Blitzø angst and Stolitz build-up… OwO')!
And I can't wait for Halloween! What, if you are, are you all dressing up as this year? I'm dressing up as Vaggie so, to quote Elijah aka Not-So-Average-Fangirl, "Lesbian in a Lesbian costume does that make me like extra gay? Hmm…?" (I'd like to think so )
Anyway, until the next one, Bye!