Alice received another call from Rumplestiltskin a few weeks after her meeting with Regina which fit nicely with her plans to confront him.
She arrived at the castle to find him spinning as usual.
"Hello Rum," she said cheerfully.
"Ah Pip," said the imp pleasantly. Or as pleasantly as Rumplestiltskin could be. "Glad you got my message."
"I always do. What is it you are wanting?" she asked. "Do I need to go on another mission with Jefferson?"
"Yes, actually I do need you to do just that. Though I must say I find the fact your mind jumped right to the Hatter interesting." A little smirk played across the man's features. Alice blanched.
"It's a natural question thank you very much. You sent us off before," she stated defensively.
"Right..." said Rumple sarcastically and the only thing that stopped Alice from tossing a delicate tea cup at the man in irritation was the arrival of the very individual they were speaking of. She smiled as she turned to see Jefferson walk in. A look the man returned.
"Hello Hattie."
"Hello Piper, a pleasant surprise. More pleasant at least than just having to deal with his darkness."
"Crockery Hatter," said the Dark One waving his hand threateningly and Jefferson chuckled.
"Where are we off to this time?" asked Alice.
"Middle Earth," said Rumplestiltskin.
"I see and what are you wanting us to retrieve?" asked Jefferson.
"I'm out of athelas. I doubt you should run into trouble where I'm sending you which is the Shire. BUT you can never be too careful."
"Oh, we've never had trouble with visiting Bilbo. The fellow's always been friendly," said Jefferson.
"No, but I've heard rumors about a dark power gathering. We don't know if the Shire has been untouched."
"Alright then off we go," said Alice with a shrug smiling slightly as Jefferson held out his hand for her to take once the hat began to spin. They jumped down into the hat and went through a door painted with a white tree and seven stars strange writing in another language also lined the archway.
When they came out they were in a picturesque valley. Green grassy hills stretched for miles and built into those hills were holes with round doors.
"So who lives here?" asked Alice as they stepped through the gate into the village.
"Hobbits," said Jefferson nodding to the short people walking by with large hairy feet. She and Jefferson were getting quite a few stares. Though frankly she could understand why. There didn't seem to be any people their size around.
"Right, and you've dealt with this Bilbo fellow before?"
"Yes, most of these folk don't like travelling but Bilbo Baggins is an outlier he went on a big adventure several decades ago and since has had an intrigue with the unusual. So he's more than happy to lend a hand if he has something I need and I give him a story."
"So you use him for athelas?" Jefferson nodded.
"Technically I could probably go hunting around in the forest here for it but that's more trouble than it's worth. Especially since hobbits just see it as a weed."
They'd been climbing a hilly road for a while now. Still ignoring the strange looks. Though she swore she heard someone say.
"Another strange one off to visit Baggins."
Soon after they reached a cozy looking hole with a green door.
"Welcome to Bag End," said Jefferson with a sweeping bow before knocking on the door. It was answered by a friendly looking young hobbit with a mop of brown curly hair.
"Mr. Jefferson a pleasure to see you again."
"Hello Frodo. Is your uncle in?" asked Jefferson. Frodo opened his mouth to reply only to be cut off by a voice calling.
"Frodo! If that's Lobelia again tell her to shove off. She is NOT getting any more of my spoons!"
"No! It's Mr. Jefferson and an acquaintance!" replied the young hobbit before adding to the visitors.
"Please come in. And you are Miss?"
"I'm called Piper," said Alice politely as they stepped inside the surprisingly roomy hole. This was not some unpleasant muddy dwelling but a fully furnished, beautifully decorated home.
"Miss Piper then," said Frodo as he led them into what seemed to be a study. At the desk was an older hobbit with greying hair and kind eyes. He smiled upon seeing Jefferson.
"Ah Jefferson my dear friend how are you?"
"Quite well, thank you Bilbo," said Jefferson. "This is Piper my colleague."
"Pleasure to meet you," said Bilbo giving her a bow. "Bilbo Baggins at your service. Now I'm sure you're here for some of my athelas but can I offer you some tea and cakes first?"
"You know my weakness," said Jefferson with a grin and Piper had to admire the way Jefferson managed to charm anyone he interacted with.
"Well come along then. I'm sure you've got a fascinating story to tell and I'd love to get acquainted with your friend."
"What's that you were writing?" asked Alice nodding to the desk as they headed to the kitchen.
"Oh my memoirs of my travels."
"Bilbo here met a dragon," said Jefferson as they took seats at the kitchen table.
"REALLY!" said Alice in surprise. This tiny fellow was certainly a prime example of not to judge a book by its cover. Bilbo smiled.
"Yes Smaug. But he was in the last portion of my journey. I went on quite the adventure with my dwarf friends. Skin changers, elves, giant spiders, goblins. It was all very thrilling. If almost equally terrifying."
"Things like that usually are," said Alice.
"Now Bilbo lives vicariously through the news he gets from outsiders," explained Jefferson.
"For now," said Bilbo. "One day I may make one last journey. "But part of me doesn't want to leave Frodo just yet."
"He seems like a fine young man...I mean hobbit," Alice corrected herself. Bilbo chuckled.
"That he is. Now I do believe I'm owed a story."
"Shall we tell him about the frumious bandersnatch?" suggested Jefferson. Bilbo's eyes lit up.
"That sounds like something out of a song!" Alice chuckled.
"Actually it is technically."
"Really? I'd love to hear it," the Hobbit was rather sweet in his excitement. Alice shared a glance with Jefferson before breaking into the little ditty that frankly was more about the Jabborwocky than the bandersnatch. Bilbo was entranced, and not magically so. He clapped when she finished.
"My you do sound lovely. And what a unique usage of words. If you don't mind I'll be writing that down." Alice shrugged.
"Feel free." she was rather liking the fellow. Her song done it was Jefferson's turn to launch into the tale of their recent exploit complete with disappearing cat, talking door knob, and angry furry entity.
"As you can tell the creature wasn't half as entertaining in person as it is in Piper's song," chuckled Jefferson. Bilbo, who had taken out a pipe at this point blew a smoke ring.
"No, I imagine not. Lucky Miss Piper here is so musically talented."
"I do my best. Though I couldn't have done it on my own. It took Hattie's daring to get the tears."
"Things always are better with a team. I had my share of moments alone but I wouldn't have made it through my travels without my friends either. They'll save your life in a pinch," Bilbo advised.
They chatted for a little while longer and then Frodo came in with a bag full of what Alice presumed to be Athelas.
"Ah! Perfect as ever. We appreciate the help Bilbo," said Jefferson.
"Always a pleasure to see you. And it was lovely to meet you Miss Alice. I hope you'll both come back soon."
"We'll certainly try," said Alice who certainly had no objection to visiting the friendly fellow again. They said their goodbyes and began to make their way out of the village.
"Well, that was pleasant, and surprisingly simple," said Alice.
"It is nice when His Darkness's missions don't require me to be dodging the teeth or claws of something," chuckled Jefferson.
"That it is," said Alice. Once they were out of the village Jefferson tossed down his hat and they jumped inside returning to the Dark Castle.
"Retrieved the items dearie?" asked Rumplestiltskin.
"Obviously," said Jefferson.
"I've no idea what you were worried about Rum there wasn't even a peep of danger," said Alice as they accepted their payment.
"Better safe than sorry. Though I suppose I should apologize for inflicting the company of the Hatter upon you," snarked Rumplestiltskin and Alice laughed.
"Don't worry I can handle him."
"I feel highly insulted," grumbled Jefferson. "And here I was going to offer you a chance to come back and have tea at my place."
"Now that's an offer I'll happily take up," said Alice.
"I said I was going to," Jefferson told her with a wag of his finger.
"Oh changed your mind have you?" asked Alice raising an eyebrow. "I suppose I could start spending less time around your area of the forest."
"And explain to Grace why her new favorite person is no longer coming round. No thank you," said Jefferson shaking his head. "Fine you can come for tea." Alice giggled.
"Whatever you plan to do, do it away from me," grumped Rumplestiltskin though he didn't seem particularly serious. Alice smirked looping her arm through Jefferson's.
"Fairfarren Rum." Then she and Jefferson strode out the castle doors and began to go down the path from the castle.
"So what have you been doing since I last saw you?" asked Jefferson.
"Oh, well I solved a village's locust problem and then got taken to meet King Leopold for my troubles."
"You didn't want to meet royalty?" asked Jefferson with mock shock. Alice snorted.
"Nobles have almost never brought me anything good. Unless you count the occasional bag of gold."
"So, it was unpleasant?"
"Not entirely. Turns out my childhood friend Regina is the queen." Jefferson froze.
"Queen Regina as in King Leopold's wife?"
"Yes, we knew each other when I was eighteen. It was her mother that killed my family," Alice revealed slightly confused on why Jefferson was suddenly seeming a bit awkward. The man cleared his throat and then continued walking.
"Cora right?"
"Yes, it turns out she's the Queen of Hearts Cheshire was talking about," she told him still feeling a little odd regarding her friend's reaction. "I feel bad for Regina. She might be queen but that's never what she wanted and now she's stuck in a loveless marriage."
"Sounds downright miserable," Jefferson agreed.
"Makes me rather glad not to be nobility actually. You might have fancy clothes but your fate is far from free."
"I suppose so..." then something twigged in Alice's mind.
"Wait. Do you know Regina?" what she could only describe as guilt crossed Jefferson's face.
"Sort of."
OUAT
Jefferson had frankly been having a wonderful time. Not only had his mission been rather easy and pleasant but he was getting to see Piper again.
Oh Piper. He was well and truly becoming besotted with the woman who besides being pretty and charming also got along wonderfully with Grace.
However, worry crept up inside him as he inquired about her recent exploits and learned she was friends with none other than Regina. The woman he'd help Rumplestiltskin con.
Evidently, he had a very poor poker face in the moment for suspicion and confusion were clear upon Piper's face and she quickly enquired if he knew Regina. In that moment Jefferson knew he needed to make a choice.
Coming clean could have very bad consequences depending on her reaction. On the other hand, trying to con HER would also probably go even worse especially if any future he might want with her caused him to once more cross paths with Regina. The woman was sure to recognize him and then he'd have to try and lie to Piper to keep up the lie to Regina.
Wincing he said.
"Sort of."
"What does sort of mean?" asked Piper withdrawing her arm from his. Jefferson cleared his throat.
"A while back Rumplestiltskin had me perform a job for him. He had me get a fellow called Frankenstein to offer to bring back the Queen's dead lover. Except Frankenstein purposely failed. Rumplestiltskin wanted her heart broken. I don't know why, I didn't ask."
He watched as several emotions crossed Piper's face, anger, indignation, sadness, and betrayal.
"You hurt my best friend. Intentionally." Deciding excuses weren't going to win him any points Jefferson just nodded.
"I did. It was good money. You know me Piper. I do what I can to support my child. The love life of a queen wasn't of concern to me."
"Cora, ripped out that man's heart and crushed it in front of her when she was eighteen Jefferson. And you just ripped out her heart again. You gave her false hope and took it away."
"Piper..." he reached out to take her hand but Piper pulled away angrily.
"Get away from me!" she stormed off into the forest leaving the path. He tried to hurry after her calling her name but she was faster and quickly disappeared amongst the trees. He stopped when he heard something snap under his boot. Looking down he saw Piper's wooden pipe. It must have fallen from where she kept in tucked into her belt and he'd stepped on it.
Sighing heavily and mentally kicking himself Jefferson picked up the pieces. If Piper didn't want to talk to him then there wasn't much he could do to make her. So, hoping he hadn't just completely destroyed his chances with the first woman he'd come to care for since Priscilla, Jefferson turned around and headed back for the road.
Author's note: So! First off, I do not own Middle Earth or any of it's characters. They belong to the genius JRR Tolkien! But the hat also gives me an excuse to cameo some fun worlds and characters for minor crossovers so what the heck. As for Piper and Jefferson, well, it had to come out at one point or another and regardless of if it's really on Jefferson or more Rumple I figured Piper still would be upset. Regina is at this point one of the few people she has left. Emotions aren't always entirely rational. Plus drama! Anyway if you like the story please leave a note below! Until next time!