Author's Note: Finally, the new chapter is here. It took a long while due to problems trying to have Alya explaining Marinette's crazy obsession with Adrien and the things she has done for the sake of a crush. My thanks to Mewx42 for helping me do Alya's confrontation with Makoto, of course, I added some more details in that. I know lots of people have rightfully criticized Marinette for the bad things she has done due to her toxic obsession with Adrien, so I wanted to bring it up in this chapter and have Marinette come to terms with how she used to be stalker and learn to move on from them.
Even when I watch a little of Miraculous Ladybug, while I don't agree with Marinette treated like a punching bag or a doormat when it comes to abusive bullies or apathetic adults, I don't agree with her insane romantic interest in Adrien either. It's borderline toxic and should've been stopped sooner. Such a thing could've gotten Marinette thrown in Juvenile detention or a restraining order. But remember, Marinette's just a teenager who made mistakes and has faults of her own. She doesn't know what she's doing is bad and love can make one blind. She should've gotten called out earlier, but I blame her friends for being terrible influences who actively encouraged or enabled her creepy behavior from the start. So many red flags in their alleged friendship, even their concept of 'love' is harmful and toxic. What Marinette needed was a good role model to put an end to this unhealthy crush and cut ties from her classmates, but I guess the writers of the show couldn't care less about that.
That's where the Phantom Thieves come in - real role models. In my story, Marinette has finally stopped stalking because she realizes Adrien wasn't good for her and is trying to move on, under the assumption he betrayed her for Lila, even though he DID make it clear he valued Lila's feelings more than Marinette after the Chameleon incident. I'm not making Adrien a bad guy because he has been sheltered and neglected so he has no clue how the real-world works, but he's not innocent either when it comes to Chloe's or Lila's influences.
My birthday is coming, so this is an early present for me. Enjoy this chapter.
"Start moving forward and fighting for myself..." Those words were repeated quietly as Marinette left the bathroom after she finished taking a shower and dressed in her casual pajamas. She sat on the bed, scrolling through her phone to see if Zoe had left any messages or updates regarding the safety of Paris. There were none, to say the least. Makoto wasn't here at this moment, most likely attending another meeting with her teacher and the other chaperones.
Tonight's dinner had been awkward, even though their food had finally come and it was delicious, telling Ren and the others about Lila and bringing up bad memories seemed to ruin the atmosphere. But the words imparted to her by Ren had left her acknowledging the truth in his words.
Tikki and Kaalki were already sitting on the pillow, noticing their guardian's thoughtful yet sad gaze. "Are you okay, Marinette?" The horse kwami is the first to break the silence.
Marinette nodded. "I'm fine. Just checking to see if Zoe has had any problems back home. No akumas, so far."
"And what about you? You've been mumbling to yourself for a while now."
She put down her phone, raising her head with an expression displaying a newfound determination. "What Ren said... he's right. I've spent so much time doubting myself and holding back. Most of that came from pleasing the people who tell me to either just deal with it or ignore my pleas of innocence when I'm falsely accused. It's time I start fighting for what I believe in and for myself!"
"Splendid!" Kaalki agreed wholeheartedly. "And Ren is pretty wise for a kid his age."
"Also, what Makoto and the others mentioned..." Marinette grinned, slightly embarrassed. "Lila's lies will only cause trouble for celebrities like scandals or labeled as pedophiles, stuff like that. And their questioning how my expulsion was mishandled... All of those points they brought up made sense. I admit that even I never realized it. But they're all correct."
"Yeah, even I'm surprised by every fact they brought up regarding Lila's tall tales and everyone's failure to use their brains." Tikki lay stretched out on the blanket, feeling the soft sheet under her tiny body. "Not only that, but I'm also impressed that you're realizing the importance of self-empowerment." She smiled proudly at her Chosen. "You thought you couldn't stop Hawkmoth when he had akumatized your entire team during the Miracle Queen incident and that of the whole city on Heroes' Day? You managed to figure out a way to overcome those obstacles and came out stronger!"
This speech seemed to reinforce Marinette's confidence.
"If Lila or Chloe are going to try something sneaky again, then you shouldn't worry about it," the red kwami assured. "Just like Ren said, he and his friends are going to keep their eyes and ears open, ready for anything. They're definitely a smart, capable group." And to be honest, this Tikki didn't say out loud, they would make spectacular miraculous wielders, if only they didn't live so far away.
The phone rang all of a sudden, and Marinette checked to see that she was getting an incoming call from Alya. Scoffing, she didn't bother to answer. Even when brushing her teeth, she continued to ignore the texts her former best friend was sending her. What did Alya want now? Is she accusing her of another incident Lila framed her for? Or is she trying to persuade her into joining the girls on another outing tomorrow?
Bring! Bring!
That familiar akuma alarm suddenly blared on her phone, really loudly. Startled, Marinette lost her balance and fell off the bed. Getting back up, she rubbed her head after she hit the floor. "Ugh, so much for things being peaceful in Paris." Although this would be a good excuse to get away from Alya's nonstop calls or texts. Let her know how it feels to be ignored.
"It's not like Hawkmoth wants to take a vacation from doing evil misdeeds anyway," Tikki groaned. But now isn't the time to lament, time to go to work. "We're ready when you are, Marinette."
"Let's just hope Makoto doesn't come back to find me gone." At first worried if the Japanese student returns to an empty room, Marinette decided to turn on the shower, giving off the impression that she's still in the bathroom. She put the earrings back on, and the glasses, saying, "Tikki, Kaalki, unify!"
"Oh, brother..." Makoto yawned. Though glad she is that the meeting was finally over and intrigued in tomorrow's hike to the Diamond Head, these meetings can be bothersome.
Why can't the school just send a few teachers or request some parents to be chaperones for this trip? Not much she could do about it when she did ask about it before this trip came up. That stupid, lazy, corrupt principal got himself caught in the first place when a tabloid uncovered his enabling Kamoshida's crimes, and now he's officially lost his job and currently in police custody. Now the teachers at Shujin, including those of the parents of Kamoshida's victims, were under investigation. While Makoto was glad those apathetic adults are getting what they deserved, she wished there had been a few competent adults, like Miss Kawakami, allowed to come and help out.
It sounds selfish of her to think that, because if that were so, Makoto wouldn't be able to go on this trip with her boyfriend and close friends. Oh well, whatever happens in her life, it's like fate wants to keep the Phantom Thieves together. And if that had happened, she would never have met Marinette and... wait a second. Is that Marinette's ex-friend, Alya Cesaire, knocking on her room door?
"C'mon, Mari. Open up, we need to talk. You didn't answer my calls or texts." The reporter desperately pleads, attempting to either unlock or... shove the door open? She was shouting for Marinette to let her in, but nobody responded. At first, impatient, but then gradually became distressed. "Don't ignore me again, girl. I really want to clear the air with you about certain things. Please, let me in."
Makoto could barely make out the sound of running water inside her room. Of course, Marinette is still in the shower, that's why she can't answer it. Although she doubted Marinette would let that pathetic excuse for a reporter inside. But who on earth trespasses into someone else's room? Apparently, Alya certainly has no problem doing it.
Approaching her, Makoto loudly clears her throat. "Can I help you with something?" Her presence, and stern voice, catches the would-be intruder off guard.
"I'm here to see my best friend!" Hell, Alya didn't show signs of feeling guilty trying to break in or fear when she got caught. "I need to speak with her. Is she here?"
Makoto's eyebrows narrowed. No way in hell is she going to let her in, not after Alya tried to break in and for having the audacity to claim Marinette as her 'best friend' after she had made her loyalty to Lila perfectly clear on the night of the confrontation. "I'm sure you could've heard her taking a shower inside my room when you tried to break in. That's why she can't."
Alya pressed her ear against the door, and her face shifts to an embarrassed realization when she heard the running water.
"And another thing," Makoto hardened her voice, "you do realize breaking and entering into my room could land you in serious trouble, don't you?"
Immediately, Alya goes strangely silent. Likely trying to process what she was told. Then she steeled herself and faced the brunette. "I'm aware of that, and I apologize. But I've been trying to call Marinette, so we can talk. She won't answer, nor has she responded to my texts."
"Like I said, she's taking a shower. Besides, I seriously doubt Marinette would want to see you right now." Makoto firmly placed herself in front of the door, her back to it, making sure this annoying reporter won't try forcing her way in again. "And if you truly are her best friend, you wouldn't be trying to break into my room without permission, and you wouldn't be constantly dismissing her warnings about Lila, after what that bitch has been doing to Marinette behind your back!"
Alya's mouth falls open, especially at the b-word being used, but she never got the chance to protest as Makoto continued.
"Marinette told me everything! The lies, the expulsion, everything! How can you call yourself her best friend when you refuse to believe that she's been threatened and bullied by a malicious liar!?"
Immediately, Alya sighed and rolled her eyes. "What kind of crazy stories has Marinette been telling you? Listen, she's got a grudge against Lila over a boy she likes, his name is Adrien. It's giving everyone a hard time, and let me tell you, her jealousy often makes her so unreasonable."
Makoto's lower eye twitched dangerously. "Is that your excuse for brushing off a friend's warning that you're being taking advantage of? Most people claim others are jealous because they refuse to hear the truth and want to continue believing in absurd illusions!"
"If only you knew how obsessed Marinette was with Adrien, then you'd understand," Alya argued back. "And neither you, nor your friends, have any proof that Lila is lying, which she never has!"
"You're right, we don't. But..." Makoto steeled herself, "why is your proof, Cesaire? You're supposed to be a journalist, right? You never checked your sources when you posted Lila's interview on the Ladyblog, when she claimed to be Ladybug's 'best friend!' Hell, you don't even know Lila that long! Not only will that video put Lila in danger with Hawkmoth or get her akumatized, but it just speaks volumes on what kind of person she is - an attention-seeking narcissist, who doesn't give a damn about what she says or does! Marinette told us how she caught Ladybug yelling at Lila in the park that day; Lila and Ladybug were never friends from the start! You never even asked Lila for proof if she's friends with a superhero at all! You want proof? Do your research!"
Nothing but silence was left hanging between the two girls. The air was so thick with tension one could cut it with a knife. Alya was at first stunned at how this girl know about Hawkmoth and Ladybug. Her teacher made it strictly clear nobody is to speak of akumas or Hawkmoth to anybody. But when this girl mentioned the Ladyblog, realization dawned on her. The internet isn't exactly a private matter when one goes looking up information.
However, Alya glared defiantly at this ignorant girl. "Oh, okay. I'll do my research. Yeah, I'll just go on Ladybug's Instagram to check for videos or photos." Sarcasm dripped from the reporter's mouth, eyes narrowed fiercely. "Ladybug doesn't have an Instagraml! She just pops up whenever an akuma is around and never stays long when the job is done!"
"Have you ever tried asking Ladybug herself? I even told you what Marinette saw-"
"Yeah, Marinette told you. It's obvious she stalked Lila and Adrien because she's crazy jealous of any girl who gets too close to him! And if Ladybug did yell at her, they probably had a disagreement." The scowl on Alya's face deepened. "And if they were never friends, why hasn't Ladybug come forward to set the record straight? Given the fact on Ladybug's long period of silence ever since I posted that interview a while back, it just seems to confirm that Lila has been telling the truth!"
Makoto stared; the shock weighed in on her like somebody dropped a heavy sack of potatoes on her back. Alya just proved her point. Ladybug did scold Lila for the fake friendship story, but why didn't she come forward to tell the truth? Staying silent is only allowing everyone to believe Lila was being truthful. Still, posting that video was carelessness. Ladybug's silence also spoke something was wrong. "Even if what you said was true, Lila should've told you to keep quiet about her so-called friendship with a superhero. But there must be a reason why Ladybug didn't come forward. Did it ever cross your mind that she could've been threatened or blackmailed into keeping quiet. And I still believe Marinette. Not only did I witness Lila bullying Marinette that night, but what you posted on the internet can bring consequences to you and your blog. If anything, Ladybug, Jagged Stone or Prince Ali could sue you and Lila for defamation, slander and libel."
"Oh, really?" Alya scoffed. "If that were true, why didn't they send their lawyers after me or Lila? Their silence only serves to validate Lila's word is true."
"Even when my boyfriend and I just told you and your class that Lila was indeed a lying bully when we caught her threatening your best friend, you just chose to believe Lila's fabricated disease like it's the gospel truth! Does your friendship with Marinette mean nothing to you? Or are you just stupid!?"
"STUPID!?" Alya hissed, deeply offended. She looked ready to punch her, but given Makoto's blazing red eyes staring down at her with an intimidating glare, the reporter deflated. However, she took a deep breath to steel herself. "Listen, ehhh... Niijima, wasn't it?" The journalist asked, just in case she forgot how this girl's teacher addressed her.
"It's Makoto Niijima." The brunette nodded to confirm it.
Alya readied herself to set things straight. This ignorant girl is so caught up in Marinette's drama that she just doesn't understand what's been going on and how unfair Marinette can be whenever Lila is around, especially when it involves Adrien. She didn't want to do this, but she needed to convince this Makoto person to see from her perspective. "At least hear me out before passing judgement, please." With the Japanese girl's silent approval, Alya began. "I'm a reporter, and you're right on one thing, I haven't known Lila long, but I've seen enough to judge based on others' actions. Marinette's always been a little extreme when it comes to love, especially with Adrien. When Lila first came to Paris, all I've seen was Marinette openly attacking her without reason. Lila's done nothing wrong but share her exciting stories with everyone and try to be friends. Marinette's the one who's been irrational and jealous, throwing nasty accusations at her without proof! We're not going to immediately turn on Lila just because she claims Lila is a liar, and it's getting on everyone's nerves!"
Makoto listens with the aura of a patient lawyer listening to a suspect's rantings, her expression guarded.
Alya continues, ignoring the scowl. "And you think I don't do my fact checking, do you? Well, I looked into Lila's claims myself and look at this - her Instagram shows her doing charity work with Prince Ali, attending events with Jagged Stone, and hanging out with her bestie, Ladybug." Alya takes out her phone and pulls up Lila's Instagram, showing off the photos.
Suspiciously, Makoto fixates a hard stare at these pictures, examining them one by one. Just then, she notices something strange. "Wait a second... look at this one with Prince Ali!" She points to the image. "The shadows don't match. The lighting on Lila is coming from a different angle than it is on Prince Ali. The same can be said with her Ladybug picture. And in the red-carpet photo with Jagged Stone, the reflection in his sunglasses doesn't show Lila at all. Something's off." There was only one obvious explanation. "Those pictures could be photoshopped!"
With an eyeroll, Alya, eager to defend her position, waves it off. "Come on, Makoto. You're overanalyzing. It's just a photo - maybe the lighting was weird, or the angle wasn't right. Who cares about reflections? Lila's done so much good; why would she fake something like this?"
I'm pretty sure Futaba can easily debunk these images as fake. Makoto thought for a moment, mentally reminding herself to contact the hacker later.
That's when Alya reluctantly decides now is the time to bring up Marinette's past actions. "Makoto, you don't even know the bizarre lengths Marinette has gone to get Adrien to fall for her. And she's been doing this before AND after Lila came to Paris."
"She told me that she has done things in the name of love and has come to regret it."
"I see... Well, then you don't know the entire story. It's about time I set you straight."
"Set me straight?" Makoto growled. Before she could argue back, Alya held up a hand to stop her.
"Listen to me..." the reporter begins with a steely gaze. "She follows him for days on end, in or out of school, like some sort of creepy stalker. Broke into his house, spied on him and Lila when she got invited to study at his place. Ugh! You tell me off for breaking into your room, but you never knew Marinette did the same thing?"
Makoto's anger deflated. No way... Marinette used to stalk Adrien? Break into his house? Is this really true? She stood there, frozen in her place like a statue that had been left in one spot throughout winter. Eyes stared at the Creole girl, trying to search for signs that this is a trick.
Alya seemed to know what she was thinking. "You think I'm lying? I've known Marinette long enough than you or your friends ever did. Every time Adrien is involved, she changes into a lovesick puppy who snaps at any girl who gets cozy with him. She gets so mad every time Chloe flirts with him, except she teamed up with that brat to sabotage Kagami's date with Adrien at the movie theater. Heck, she also delivered a video to Adrien on the anniversary of his mother's disappearance to send a confession of love to him. She also keeps his work schedule in her room and photos on her wall, keeps a box filled with gifts for him, has a screensaver on her computer with his picture - it just shows how obsessed she is about him!" She leaned forward, face hardened. "So go ahead and lecture me for using jealousy as a lame excuse, but you should know that because of her interest in Adrien, it's hard to believe her dislike toward Lila isn't driven by jealousy!"
Now that Makoto thought about it, Marinette did mention how she did things in the name of love, things she wasn't proud of back when she crushed on Adrien. Was she actually talking about the plan to sabotage Kagami and Adrien's movie night?
The stalking?
Breaking and entering?
Keeping Adrien's pictures and work schedule in her room?
The reporter's harsh words started weakening Makoto's anger. Good god, what was going through Marinette's head when she did all of those things? Why didn't anybody stop Marinette and tell her what she did is basically illegal? Didn't Alya and her gal pals try to stop her? And didn't Marinette realize that publicly calling out Lila would only convince people that she's the villain and Lila as the victim, which is an extremely careless thing to do?
So many questions which needed the answers she seeks. This was too much for Makoto. Nonetheless, she needed to speak with Marinette, to get her side of the story and not jump to conclusions. "I'm going to talk to Marinette and hear her side in all this. Even though what you said does make sense, I won't judge her rationally."
However, the other things Alya said about Lila spoke clear volumes of a girl not recognizing how blind she is to the obvious deception, so Makoto grew dead serious. "As for Lila, I will never accept her as the 'nice girl with fascinating stories and happily getting along with everyone.' Her kind and helpful personality is only a facade to hide her true colors. She cries crocodile tears to gain sympathy, and persuade you and everybody else to attack Marinette, no questions asked." Those last words she used were laced with venom. "You never see Lila attack Marinette because she's very smart at making sure nobody witnesses her callous behavior when she goes after Marinette in private." Except for that night, the brat had no idea she got caught by Makoto and Ren. "Sociopaths are like that. They're very skillful at manipulation."
"Lila is not a sociopath!" Alya protested, stomping her foot. "She's given me no reason to distrust her and-"
"And yet, you should've given Marinette the benefit of a doubt when she's having problems with Lila!" Makoto cut her off, coldly. "Isn't that what a real best friend does for another? At least Zoe did, and that's why she's rightfully earned the status as Marinette's best friend because she chose to stand by her side and hear her out!"
Alya fell silent, her brain mentally short circuiting. Yes, Marinette has been spending a lot of time with Zoe and less time with her. She wasn't blind to that, seeing those two laugh or joke together in or out of school, avoiding all contact with her and their girl squad. Alya truly did want to talk to Marinette, to help her out and try to get together again. And yet, the idea of Zoe becoming Marinette's new best friend hurt her deeply.
Makoto decided this was the time to end the conversation. "Go back to your room," she says, while she goes inside and slams the door.
Just in time. Inside the bathroom, Pegabug emerged out of a portal, tired yet glad to have taken care of the problem back home. She detransformed back to Marinette Dupain-Cheng, turning off the shower and opened the door to see if her roommate had returned. Makoto was seated on her bed, looking completely lost in thought.
Waiting for the kwamis to make themselves scarce by hiding under her pillow, Marinette comes out of the bathroom and plops herself on the bed, catching her friend off guard. "Hi, Makoto! How did the meeting go?"
"Oh! Uh, hi Marinette. Everything at the meeting went pleasant. Tomorrow, our class is going to hike the Diamond Head," she explained, a hint of a smile on her face. "And from what I heard, your class is also going to the Diamond Head."
"Really? Wow, this is great! I gotta remember to take some photos when we reach the top! Oh, I'll need to wear extra sunscreen and my hat if we're gonna be in the sun most of the time!"
Makoto chuckled at the bluenette's enthusiasm regarding tomorrow's trip, which instantly shifts to guilt. She dreaded the idea of bringing up what Alya had told her, but she needed to get this off her chest and needed answers. "Hey, Marinette..."
That cute smile on Marinette's face turns toward her, blissfully unaware. "Yes? What is it?"
"I... I had a rather strange encounter with Alya, just outside our room recently." Makoto cringed when she saw her friend's face changes to discomfort and slight annoyance. "She tried to break in, to speak with you. I told her off, then brought up her blind loyalty to Lila and why she would blindly believe her without questioning the things she says. To my surprise, Alya showed me Lila's Instagram of all the 'wonderful' things she's done, but I suspect each and every one of those photos of the 'celebrity connections' are photoshopped because I noticed some things." She explained what she had tried to tell Alya when she examined those images.
Marinette gasped, her brain processing what she heard. "I've never seen Lila's Instagram before, because I never visit it. But if you're right, then Lila's definitely got everybody hooked with fake pictures to make her lies more believable."
"And that's not all. Her story concerning her 'friendship' with Ladybug has never been verified by the hero herself. Ladybug did call Lila out, and yet she never bothered to come forward to expose the truth. She had plenty of chances to do so, but why hasn't she done it earlier? Keeping silent is only validating Lila's claims. I do have a theory that perhaps Ladybug was either blackmailed or threatened into staying quiet, even though I have no proof. It's just a theory."
Marinette squeezed her eyes shut, wincing. She never thought of doing that. Part of her wanted to expose Lila as Ladybug, but she felt guilty for abusing her hero status to humiliate the liar and didn't want a repeat of Volpina. Heck, she partially believed Alya would either flag down the superhero to ask her about Lila or if Alya would figure it out on her own. But no, her long period of silence only served to convince everyone that Lila's word is true, and it was her own fault for not revealing the truth in the first place.
"And the things Alya informed me regarding your history with Adrien..." Makoto continued, not noticing the discomfort in her roommate's posture. "She told me of your obsession with him and the things you've done - the stalking, breaking into his house, sabotaging his date with Kagami, sending a love confession video to him on the anniversary of his mother's disappearance, keeping a stack of photos and his work schedule and a box full of gifts in your bedroom, and a screensaver with his picture on your computer."
It felt like someone had dumped a bucket of icy water onto her. Marinette shuddered, her knuckles gripping the bedsheets. How could Alya tell Makoto so much? How could the reporter air out her dirty laundry like that? Was she hoping to use the bluenette's past to persuade Makoto to question her character and see how 'innocent' Lila is? It broke her heart knowing her former bestie had spilled her secrets like that. How exactly should she explain it all? But still, would Makoto be disgusted with her and end their friendship? Would she tell Yusuke and the others? And will they be disgusted and cut her out of their lives?
However, when the student council president did notice the discomfort and saw Marinette's face turn pale, guilt gnawed at Makoto's insides like a swarm of insects. "I'm really sorry I brought this up, Marinette." She quickly assured her. "I don't want you to think I'm going to judge you. I just wanted to ask your side of the story and-"
"IT'S TRUE!" Before she could stop herself, Marinette impulsively blurted it out. She covered her mouth, shocked.
Though startled, Makoto managed to say, "What?"
Too late to take it back. No going back now. "Well... ehh... yes, I did all of that. Everything Alya said is the truth." Marinette confessed. "Like I said before, I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But I told you before that Alya and the girls in my class did help me come up with crazy plans, just so I can confess my love to Adrien."
"And that meant using his work schedule to know where he is and what he'd be doing?"
"Alya somehow got her hands on it, probably with my help though. It's been a long time, and I don't remember how we got it. But everybody else in my class knew I liked Adrien and would offer their assistance in matchmaking."
"You mean to say nearly everyone in your entire class knew of your crush, and they just willingly allowed you to stalk him and helped you come up with insane schemes to get him fall for you?"
Again, Marinette cringed. "That's right. Back then, I and the girl squad, minus Sabrina, Chloe and Lila, or sometimes with advice from the boys, originally believed that Adrien and I were meant to be together, like it was destiny. I believed he was perfect in every way." She stopped at the stoic look on the student council president's face, which could only be described as disappointment like that of a mother who caught her child doing something naughty.
"Marinette, I'm going to be brutally honest when I say this..." Makoto took a deep breath and exhaled softly, "what you did back then is wrong and stupid, and most of all, illegal. You should be extremely lucky that you never got caught. If you had, your actions could've landed you into some serious legal trouble. Did you ever consider how Adrien would feel if he knew? If so, he or his father could've brought up charges, a restraining order or juvenile detention. And your entire friend group could've joined you as accessories because they practically encouraged your toxic behavior."
Marinette winced, but she didn't object. Especially when those words hit her like a ton of bricks.
"While I'm glad you have gotten over Adrien, but long ago, you should've known better. That type of crush is unhealthy. And you should've seen the red flags that it was going to be a terrible relationship from the start, if you had entered a relationship. From what you told us, Adrien cared more about Chloe's and Lila's feelings more than you, who suffered so much due to their endless bullying. He keeps defending or excusing their toxic behavior, no matter how many times it happens. Did you really want to be in a relationship with a guy like that?"
"No, I just wanted him to see how horrible they are," Marinette replied.
"What about Kagami? Did she ever do anything bad to you?"
No response came from Marinette. A chill goes down her spine when she knew the obvious answer was no, and therefore, she never had the right to hurt the fencer in the first place.
Makoto, sensing what the young designer was thinking, merely sighed. "Like I said, your infatuation with Adrien was unhealthy. You even treated this Kagami person really badly because of that obsession."
"I-I know..." Marinette felt numb, like her soul just left her body, as she processed Makoto's lecture and reasoning. And they are all good reasons.
Makoto's firmness melted away, realizing she had lectured her long enough. Tenderly, she placed a comforting hand on the young designer's shoulder. The physical contact forces Marinette to look at her. "While I really do sympathize with your situation regarding Chloe and Lila, and what they're doing to you is unforgivable, but your actions due to your previous interest in Adrien should've been corrected and put to an end from the beginning. Because of that, perhaps people do suspect you are lashing out at Lila out of jealousy. And let's be honest, you do get jealous of any girl who gets chummy with Adrien, don't you?"
"But, I..." Marinette's voice croaks, choking on her words. She didn't want to admit it. Prove that her stupid former bestie was right. That she was merely jealous of a brat who manipulates any situation to get what she wants and takes advantage of people. Lips formed a tight line, keeping them zipped shut.
As if reading her mind, Makoto's gaze softens when she recalled the incident of Kamoshida. "Remember when I told you about how I turned a blind eye to a terrible incident at my school?"
Marinette nodded, curious yet confused.
"When Kamoshida was abusing the students and sexually harassing the female ones, I didn't do anything about it. This stems from my upbringing; doing whatever the adults told me to do. And that included ignoring those cries for help when they were openly tortured by Kamoshida. I kept telling myself I wasn't at fault because I was simply following orders. But that was all a lie. I was unable to save anyone. Not Ryuji. Not Ann. And not the girl who attempted suicide. Can you imagine how much hate I tried to ignore because all of my peers hold a grudge against me for letting them down?"
Marinette stared, shock and disbelief filled her to the core. "That's... Makoto, I..." She had been told little when they first met at the Tokyo airport, but this... Holy moly.
"It felt like I would be admitting my own worthlessness had I not shifted the blame off of myself. Fear of that worthlessness was why I acted so harshly toward Ann, Ren and Ryuji. Heck, even I was a little jealous of how close they are when they stuck together through thick and thin. There's no point in keeping your flaws bottled up. Admitting to them and what you did wrong, and atoning for it, is the first sign of growing."
Of that, Marinette knew she was correct. Nevertheless, fear of admitting it still lingers. And so does the guilt of her stalkerish behavior. "You must hate me for what I've done to get Adrien to love me."
Makoto simply smiled. "I don't hate you." Before the surprised bluenette could utter a word, she interrupted. "True, I don't approve of what you've been doing whenever a situation involved Adrien, but that doesn't make me hate you. When I recently told you about what I didn't do to help my peers, do you hate me?"
"What? No, not at all!" Marinette gasped. "You've been so good to me, and you've shown remorse for your actions."
"There, you see? You even regretted your actions, which shows you're not entirely a bad person. We're all human. We make bad decisions in our lives. We come to regret the mistakes we've made, accept our faults and learn from them. And I believe you can do it too, Marinette. When you admit it, that doesn't make you feel like you're admitting yourself as worthless or making Alya feel superior believing she's in the right. It means you are coming to terms with your flaws and must move on from them."
Stunned, Marinette couldn't find the words to respond to that.
"Anyway, I'm going to take a shower. Think it over. You're stronger than you think." With that said, Makoto got up and walked into the bathroom.
Everything was quiet in the room, other than the balcony door open, allowing a gentle breeze to enter the room. Marinette lay back on the bed, staring aimlessly at the ceiling and lost in her own thoughts.
Deep down, she knew how messed up it was, to behave like a jealous weirdo with an unhealthy crush on a jerk who only cares about selfish, manipulative brats. For months, before and after she started socializing more with Zoe, Marinette had consoled herself by telling herself that she's not at fault for bad things happening to her.
Cruel things she did to Kagami, stalking Adrien wherever he goes, being nasty at many girls who'd fawn over Adrien, everything else she had done at the expense of her crush. That fear of knowing what she had done persuaded her to believe admitting it would be cowardly and Alya rubbing it in her face with a stupid 'I'd told you so' speech. She didn't want to give Alya, or much less Lila, that superiority.
However, thanks to Makoto's words of wisdom echoing in her skull, that was all done now. Yes, Marinette was a jealous jerk to other girls. God, she was no better than Chloe or Lila. Except those two are complete monsters who never regretted what they had done. She did a lot of stupid things in the name of a stupid, pathetic, waste of an obsession. When she gets back to Paris, she hoped to make amends with Kagami for the awful stuff she had done to the fencer should they meet for another juice date. Not only that, but she needs to clear the air regarding Lila's fake friendship with Ladybug, as Ladybug herself. No more remaining silent.
Coming to terms with her faults and admitting it wasn't going to give Alya or Lila the smug satisfaction of proving her wrong - this would mean proving Marinette Dupain-Cheng is growing, learning from her past faults and moving on.
"You okay, Marinette?" Tikki had floated over, wondering if her Chosen was either sad or upset by the conversation she had with Makoto. To her and Kaalki's surprise, they found that Marinette had suddenly drifted off to sleep with a look of peace on her face.