Therapy and my longest chapter coming up. Mentions injuries, minor character death and father-daughter Qualitytime.

Please enjoy!

Recap:

Kiri was careful to climb the sharp and slippery wall but nearly fell when her head was able to glance over the edge. A very familiar form lay slumped in a small pool of blood. It was Jake, and he wasn't moving!

Chapter 12

"Dad!" he heard the cry from a distance, far enough to not hurt him. But the peace he felt didn't last long. Suddenly, an immense pain shot through his legs as the weight of the stone was lifted from his lap. Hands touched his face and shoulders and he heard anguished sobs. He knew who it was this time, the wonderful young woman who deemed him worthy of being her father - his fierce and mesmerising Kiri. Though she seemed sad, he opened his eyes to look at her. Jake was supposed to take on all of her pain, so he would leave his peace behind to come back to her.

He raised both of his arms off the ground and sat up, squinting his eyes a little to look into her fearful ones. "What is it, my love? Why are you crying?" he asked, his voice sounding a little raspy.

"What are you doing?" she shouted at him. "Why would you hurt yourself like this? Don't you know you're bleeding?" Her fear turned to anger as she raged and screamed at him while also throwing soft punches to his chest. Tears ran down her face, making Jake deaf to all the insults she threw at him. Maybe today would be the day? The day she would finally see him for what he was?

A pain far greater than the one in his legs swelled up in his heart, making it hard to breathe. Just like the time he had feared for Lo'ak's life, he now feared he had finally lost his daughter's love. He wasn't ready for this. He wanted to spend more time with her, make her laugh more and teach her everything good he knew. Jake wanted to hold her again, just like he had during the night. He was just not ready to let go of this wonderful present Eywa had given him. He still wanted to be the father she loved.

Jake's breath hitched when Kiri threw her arms around him and sobbed into his chest. On instinct, he wrapped his arms around her in return, pressing his nose to her wet hair. Kiri cried for some time before speaking again. "Dad, why did you do this to yourself?" she asked, her voice softer this time.

"The running and swimming didn't help, so the pain helps me concentrate. It helps me meditate," he said, choosing to speak the truth, or as much of it as he dared.

"I'll be fine, don't worry, love. I can endure much more, and you know that, don't you?" He tried to soothe her, but Kiri was still worried.

"Please don't meditate like this again, Dad. I thought you were dead for a moment!" She begged him in a way that he was physically unable to refuse, because she now hugged him in a way that made him think she wanted to hide in his chest.

"I promise, Kiri. I won't do it again," Jake said, squeezing her hand one last time before letting go.

"We need to get you treated," Kiri said, offering to help Jake stand up. He kindly refused, slowly raising himself off the ground. As he stood up, the skin of his shins stuck to the ground, dried blood causing a ripping pain. Jake tried to hide his discomfort, his hands balled up until his knuckles turned white. After being treated harshly for several hours, his muscles protested loudly, making his first careful steps very unsteady.

Kiri couldn't bear to look at Jake's legs, and her anger at his injuries resurfaced. She glared at the ground where he had sat, where the stone had cut into his flesh. Then she focused her hatred on the dark, roundish rock that had lain on his lap and left those dark violet and ugly bruises on her father's thighs. Kiri lifted the surprisingly heavy stone above her head, then smashed it down on the ground, where it split into several pieces.

Jake yelled out in surprise at the sound of the rock being smashed, but was shocked at what he saw inside it. The rock shards gleamed with an indecent and colourful glow as crystal was revealed to the sun for the first time. Kiri gasped at the pretty sight, her feelings switching from awe to hate and back.

"Well, I guess we can take those back with us. It would be a shame to let them go to waste," Jake mused as he picked up some smaller pieces and put them in the bag on his hip.

"Come, Kiri, before someone starts looking for us," Jake said, gently helping her down the column with the biggest piece of rock in his left hand. Kiri followed him without a word.

They had to wait a bit before Jake's Tsurak came. They would not have fit on Kiri's Ilu because Jake was so much taller. While they waited for the Tsurak, whose name was Roy, Kiri showed Jake where his blood had run down the rock. The fish were still there, trying to get more of the red fluid as it got scarcer.

Jake grabbed his knife and quickly dove it into the water. When he pulled back, there were two relatively big fish speared on its blade. Her father spoke a short prayer to the great mother before gutting them and tying them together by their fins. The waste he threw to the now-surfacing Roy, who gobbled it up in no time.

Kiri, who was normally appalled by the act of killing animals, was surprised at how easy it was to see her father kill these two fish. In some way, they had fed on him as well, so she felt no pity for them. They climbed into the water and Kiri heard Jake's now audible hiss, when the salt water burned at his cuts. The tears she had believed to have run out, came back full force, as she took her first look at his lower legs. The water had washed away most of the blood, but there was still more that clung to his shins. His skin was torn on several spots, that weren't particularly big, but probably went deep. Most of his usual cerulean skin was now a purplish black, looking very tender.

She hated seeing him hurt, but she had witnessed this sight all too often in the past. The sky people had specifically targeted Jake when they attacked the clan. They hoped that the resistance would die with him, but they were proven wrong.

Her father was the symbol of their greatest strength, which stemmed from the unity he had created by becoming Toruk Makto. He had led dozens of clans into battle the first time and showed them how to organise themselves the second time. Countless people relied on him and his wisdom, and many more sought safety in his presence.

The first thing he had told all the warriors who swore to fight with him was that their purpose for fighting was bigger than him. He emphasised that if he were to die, they must be ready to continue. He trained several generals and heirs who came from other clans to learn his ways, and many of the Omatikaya stepped up to learn as well.

Kiri had once asked her grandmother how her father had become so strong. Mo'at's answer was simple yet true: he had to be. The wise woman took her around and explained that during the years her father had led the clan, its size had more than doubled. Even with the loss of life after the first war, the people had recovered because Jake had given his best efforts to keep the clans connected through trade of goods or knowledge. Even some shared Festivals. Now, young hunters had the opportunity to temporarily leave the clan to learn from another. Some even found love and decided to stay with their mate. They thrived on the shared bond created by shared history.

Jake had built up and changed some of the fundamental structures of many clans to make them more resilient and strong, but also to foster greater trust in each other. He had provided safety to many others who sought his help.

Jake seemed so strong because so many relied on and learned from him, but that was not necessarily the truth. Mo'at had refused to elaborate on her suspicion back then.

Kiri had noticed that her grandmother never blamed Jake after they decided to leave the clan. She was sad, yes, but she also looked at Jake in a way that made Kiri think she was glad for something. Something that only she saw.

Kiri herself had been so angry at Jake for taking her away from her home that she had never considered how her incredibly strong father must have felt. Seeing him endure the pain of those wounds on his shin with so little complaint made her question just how much more Jake had endured before. How much work had he invested in his clan, and how much time had he spent worrying about what to do or who to send out on another dangerous mission? Who was there to share his burdens with? Of course there was Neytiri, who managed the clan while Jake was out, but she was unsure if her parents even had so much time to themselves anymore to share everything.

The younger Kiri had no real regard for Jake's work before, because for her It had always been this way, and only when the Skypeople returned did Kiri get a glimpse of the pressure her parents had to bear. She doubted that she and her siblings had lessened this burden by foolishly going against their parents' orders or trying to prove themselves to them.

Now, Kiri felt embarrassed for being so stuck in her own head and blaming Jake for everything. Jake sat down to slowly dip his legs into the water to get used to the burning sensation before fully sliding into the water. As he entered the water, a swarm of tiny golden fish swirled around him in a frenzy. Some softly butted against his arms and chest, and others nibbled on his legs, their touch incredibly gentle. Jake smiled softly at their care, knowing better than to refuse their touch. It was as if Eywa herself had been worried for him. One golden fish gently brushed against his cheek, as if agreeing with Jake's previous assumption.

Jake rarely heard the great mother speak. Mostly, he did not understand what she was saying, as her whispers were too soft for his ears to catch. Kiri stared at her father in wonder as he got up on his Tsurak. He turned to see her still standing on the flat rock besides the column and raised a questioning brow at her.

"Sometimes I wish you weren't as strong as you are," she blurted out. Jake was unsure how to react, so he only stared at her, dumbfounded.

"And maybe you should meditate somewhere Eywa can reach you easily. You know, they led me here," she continued, pointing to the golden swarm. Instead of mounting her Ilu, she pulled herself up behind her father and slung her arms around his waist.

"That's a good idea," he said faintly, taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry you had to see this."

"I'm not… give me this. It will be easier for you to ride if your hands are free." She grabbed the bigger rock piece from his hand and placed it between her stomach and his back.

"Let's go home then," he said with a small smile before the Tsurak began moving, carrying them back to Awa'atalu.

They arrived at their pot, which was thankfully empty. Jake grabbed some healing balms to cover his injured legs and sat down with his legs stretched out. He bound them with some sturdy algae and put on his new anklets, which covered nearly half of his lower leg. They held the algae together quite nicely without pressing too hard on the wounds.

Kiri watched this process in silence as she stored the bigger stone shard by her fathers sleeping mat. She was still undecided about what she should think of her father.

"What will you tell Tonowari? They waited nearly an hour for you for the morning hunt," she informed him, and Jake cursed a little.

"Thank you for telling me, I should probably go apologise." Jake stretched out an Arm and Kiri grabbed it to pull him up with a frown.

"But I'll do that later. You promised to give me a tour a few weeks ago. If you have nothing else going on, would you like to show me now?" Despite her conflicting feelings, she had really wanted to show him around. A slow smile crept onto her face as she nodded her head. There had been so little time that she had spent with just her father, she wanted to take advantage of the situation.

"I don't, but Dad, could you maybe take me along the next time you go out to meditate?" Her father thought for a moment.

"You know I really love who you are, Kiri. Sorry that I can't promise you this, but I can try." Even though it wasn't a yes, she appreciated his honesty. Jake wasn't a person who would lie to her, but he would tell her if he couldn't talk about it. So she agreed and led him outside.

For nearly two hours, she had her father all to herself, introducing him to all the pretty sights she had found and to her Ilu. She would never admit it, but she was greedy for these moments that she did not even want to share with her siblings or mother. Kiri felt like the little girl again who was her father's little princess. And here Jake was just that, her loving father – no chief, no Toruk Makto, no teacher or commander – just Jake whose adoring eyes stayed only on her. Life was good in this moment.

Ao'nung felt incredibly uncomfortable with Neteyam's icy glares pointed at his head. The darker-skinned boy had kept up his angry act for the entire hour they had been swimming through the reef, and Ao'nung was again considering his life choices.

Neteyam really didn't need any more training riding an Ilu – he was practically one with his ride, moving through the water with a grace that surpassed even some of the Metkayina, except that he had to move up to the surface every ten minutes to get some air. Ao'nung guessed that this wouldn't be a problem in a couple more weeks with the progress the other had made. He would never admit it out loud, but the other was an incredibly fast learner, very patient with himself, and disciplined. He trained for hours a day, kept an eye on his siblings most of the time, and made new friends left and right – well, except for Ao'nung, for obvious reasons.

He was mostly able to endure the ride in frosty silence because they only came up for a couple of seconds before diving down again. To keep himself occupied, he sometimes pointed something out and signed what it was. He did not check if Neteyam was even looking at him because he could feel the bruise already forming from too much glaring.They had decided to turn back to the beach but were sadly the first to come back.

Now the awkward silence came back full force and Ao'nung had to remind himself that his father's disappointment was much less desirable than Neteyam's glares, so he stayed and tried to not fidget with his hands.

"You know, I asked myself what reasons you could possibly have to hate me and my family, but now I'd love to hear it from you," Neteyam said with a deep and warm voice, speaking with a slight lilt that resembled his mother. Ao'nung had already seen some of the other teens gushing about how attractive he was, practically swooning over the slightly older teen. He would probably share their opinion more if the other didn't scare him a little with the underlying promise of pain in the near future if his questions were not correctly answered. Ao'nung stiffened and refused to meet the other's eyes.

"I don't hate you or any of your family," he began, but that alone did not seem to satisfy Neteyam.

"You could have fooled me." the sarcasm was palpable.

"I hate what your presence means to my home. Though I won't repeat it again, your father was right when he said I was afraid. I fear that you will bring the war here to us," Ao'nung said finally meeting the other's eyes. There was a shred of sympathy.

"I realise what an ass I have been because I don't know why you had to leave your home. Your father is some kind of big shot and a former alien, which makes you a target to the other Skypeople, but I don't know more than this. You coming here means that my peaceful days are probably numbered," he said.

That was already more than he ever wanted to reveal, but if he had to guess why he was telling the other so much, it would probably be fear of torture. Not that Neteyam would hurt him (much), but that guy was seriously pissed off and protective of his siblings. Ao'nung could relate to some degree. He would have ripped the person's head off who would have dared to do to Tsireya what he had done to Lo'ak. As an older sibling, it was his duty to protect her and all his future siblings.

"You know that you sound very egotistical saying that? Because my father was the reason the Skypeople left for the first time. He's probably also the reason why you ever enjoyed a life of peace, but I guess I can understand your small-minded fear. I hated the moment my own peace was gone for good." Neteyam said in a calm manner, like he was discussing the weather and not war.

"I first realised this when my father came home bleeding, telling my mother that a long-time friend of hers had died during the attack. I'm not sure if you ever heard your own mother scream in sorrow and anger," Ao'nung flinched, only thinking about his proud mother in a state like this. Dread pooled in his gut, and his offence at being called small-minded fled his mind.

"Lo'ak was so scared that day, that he clung to our mother the entire time after our father had to leave again. Actually the red beads on one of his front braids belonged to the woman named Payral, an excellent huntress of our clan who died that day. She did not have her own children, so she helped our parents to train us when we were younger. She especially loved Lo'ak who always joked around or followed after her like a chick." Neteyam stopped in his storytelling looking at him.

"He was thirteen at the time." Ao'nung swallowed hard.

"You might wonder why I'm telling you this. Despite my anger towards you, I don't want to keep bad blood between us. Eywa knows, we don't need any more trouble." Ao'nung had actually wondered about it. It was too personal information to share with a stranger. But they weren't really strangers anymore, he guessed. Too much had happened in such a short time.

"My aim here is to explain why I cannot allow you to hurt my brother or sisters again. We went through shit that you cannot imagine, and I hope you never have to." Neteyam was much kinder while saying this, as if he really did hope Ao'nung could remain as naive as he was.

"I'm sorry for endangering Lo'ak. It was a stupid and thoughtless prank that went too far, but believe me when I say I never wanted him dead." Ao'nung was unused to apologising and was surprised by how genuinely sorry he felt.

"I hope you can tell this to Lo'ak. For what it's worth, I accept your apology. Maybe we can even become friends." Ao'nung huffed in surprise.

"Why would you think that?" He didn't hate the idea, but it was unexpected.

"Well, we have a lot in common: we're the same age, we both feel pressure as chief's sons, and we've spent a considerable amount of time with each other. Now that we've talked about our feelings and forgiven each other after fighting, it's pretty hard to think that we couldn't become friends. Dad always says that you don't like your best friends at first. His best friend even tried to kill him once before they became friends and brothers." This didn't make sense to Ao'nung, who still felt much more comfortable with Neteyam now. They could become good friends, he guessed. Neteyam was pretty cool when he wasn't trying to murder him with his eyes.

"I guess you're right. Uh, do you want to tell me about your clan?" Ao'nung only realised how delicate this topic could be after he had asked, but the other teen did not seem insulted or hurt.

"I'd love to, actually. Our people are called the Omatikaya. Some years ago, we lived at the new Hometree, which was as tall as some small mountains. We would climb up and down its trunk and sleep in hammocks between the branches. Dad moved us when the Skypeople returned, so I mostly remember the caves in the flying mountains." He looked at Ao'nung, noticing that the reef Na'vi was staring at him in shock.

"How can a tree be as big as a mountain, and why are your mountains flying?! I thought you lived in a forest like the one we have here on the island." He gestured towards the small area with trees behind the village. Neteyam snorted in amusement.

"Nah, our trees are at minimum thrice as tall as those. Kelutral (Hometree) was at least a hundred times their size."

"You're kidding me, right? That can't be!" Ao'nung exclaimed in wonder.

"No, it's all true. That's why it's so important for us to fly an Ikran. It's much easier to get up and down. We have to bond with an Ikran like you do with a Tsurak to become an adult. Unlike the Tsurak, an Ikran will fly with only one rider for their entire life," Neteyam explained, and his eyes lit up with fond memories.

"Does that mean both Kiri and Lo'ak have already become full adults in your clan? They both had their own Ikran when you arrived here," he asked with some envy.

"Well, Lo'ak bonded the usual way. Kiri simply asked the Ikran to be her friend. That never happened before but she is special in that way. I guess that makes them adults, but they haven't finished all the tasks to become full members of the clan."

"You know, that sounds like a lot already... Is it true that Toruk is even bigger than the other Ikran? I've only ever seen your family's Ikran up close. Your father's ride didn't look that much bigger," Neteyam laughed at his honest question, but it was a kind laughter.

"No, Ao'nung, that wasn't Toruk. Dad bonded with him first, and when he needed to gather the support of the clans, he became the rider of Toruk. Toruk is at least thrice the size of a normal Ikran, and he is coloured in bright red and orange while the other Ikran have a cooler colour. You know blues. greens or purples. He doesn't need to hide between the trees because he is the mightiest out there. But Dad set him free when the first fight was over. That was before my birth. Toruk still answers to his call, though. He once visited the clan when I was younger and he was huge." Ao'nung smiled when he saw the bright smile on the other teen's face. He got the feeling he really missed his home.

"What about the people in your clan? What do they do?" he questioned.

"It's not so different from here, except that our clan is much bigger, no offence. There are hunters, weavers, gatherers, craftsmen and women, healers, singers, dancers, and a bunch of children. We have a school where kids can learn English, the language of the Skypeople, but most don't use it. For some time, kids would learn a phrase or two to greet Dad in his first language. They found it fun to see his reaction, but it was also a show of respect Then there is also a science section. Dad still has some of his old friends who live near Kelutral. They offer to teach anyone who is interested in human technology. The Skypeople call themselves humans, by the way," Neteyam went on and on. Ao'nung was fascinated by most of it and listened intently. At some point, Neteyam didn't even need him to ask questions to continue his tale, not that Ao'nung minded.

"You know we even had this cool exchange Program, how Dad used to call it. Young adults could live with one of the other clans for some time to learn from each other. Even Dad had apprentices, that were to become future Olo'eyktan or generals from the other clans. Many wanted to learn from him." Ao'nung eyes went wide with surprise.

"Do you think he would teach me as well?" Ao'nung blurted out before he could think about his question. Neteyam's head turned around in shock.

"You wish to learn from my father?" Ao'nung hesitated a little before giving a small nod.

"Well, I could come with you to ask him after you apologise to Lo'ak. Dad never refused a student, and I think he missed teaching," Neteyam assured him in excitement.

"I've learned from him my entire life, and I can promise you that it was hard, but so worth it. So you better be up to it," he teased. Ao'nung felt a little unreal. The mightiest warrior of their time might become his teacher. To top that off, this man had also been kind to Ao'nung in a way no other adult had been before. His parents were loving but strict. They did not express their feelings as Jake had. Feelings might not be something he should be ashamed of, at least Jake did not seem to think so.

They decided to swim some more while they talked. Neteyam was pretty cool to hang out with, Ao'nung summarised to himself. Befriending him did, at least, not seem as impossible as he first thought.

Neytiri wedged the thin blade of her knife between the shell and rock to peel it off. She had offered to help with the annual harvest when a young Metkayina woman asked her to. The woman introduced herself as Mehria, a friend of Kiri's, which explained why she had come to Neytiri with so much ease. Most of the reef clan had avoided her since their arrival, as she had yet to ask one of them first to teach her. Not that she had tried very hard to find someone who would be fit to be her teacher. She preferred to observe the clan first and learn along with her children when they came home to tell her of their day.

Today was different in this aspect. She agreed to help out, and Mehria looked happy to pull her along and chatter on about any topic really. Neytiri tried to listen to most of it but gave up after ten minutes of constant input. However, Mehria appeared to be kind enough, and Neytiri was glad the woman had asked her to come along.

Mehria explained how she could connect to the stingrays to breathe in the water. Then she showed Neytiri how to identify which shells to harvest and how to harvest and gather them. She was patient, kind, and honestly interested in getting to know Neytiri better. Those were qualities that the older woman could respect with ease.

The sign language was easy to learn and use, though Neytiri did not speak much yet. As much as Jake tried to make this whole situation comfortable for her, Neytiri still mourned the loss of her home. She constantly worried about her people and wondered how they were doing with the Skypeople so close.

Before the dark thoughts could come any further, she returned to her work, which distracted her a little. Ronal also helped, because the woman shot her suspicious looks every now and then. Neytiri ignored them as best as she could without being disrespectful. It was quite clear what the Metkayina Tsahik thought of her and her family, however just or unjust that judgment appeared to be.

When Neytiri's satchel was filled to the brim, she was about to go back to the shore. However, her attention got caught by two familiar shapes. Her Jake and Kiri were swimming along the ocean floor, with Kiri pointing out some pretty corals or fish that swam by. Neytiri stopped and stared in wonder at a sight she had not known she had missed immensely. She had spent years gazing at her mate, never tiring of his changing beauty and character. He had several expressions that she loved more than anything else: his expression of awe whenever he held her in his arms, like he still wondered if she was real or a beautiful dream; his loving smile to her and her children that made the sides of his eyes crinkle in a way that no one else's face could; and his cool stare when he stood up to a group of warriors, commanding absolute respect.

But the expression that had first captivated her was the one he wore now: eyes wide in wonder, a big toothy grin splitting his face, and a childish amazement of the beautiful world surrounding him as he touched everything within reach. He looked so young like this, naive and innocent, like the baby he had been when they first met, unaware of the horrors of war. Her chest ached with overflowing love. Jake had endured so much, carried so much pressure and so many expectations on his shoulders for years, and yet he had surpassed them all by far.

Many had initially doubted his ability to lead the clan, but they soon changed their minds. Jake was an exceptional leader, though some of his methods were unconventional, yet very effective. He had once admitted to her that he had asked Norm for help in compiling some ideas for change in the clan. Norm's work was based on old earthly history and the wisdom of the greatest men humanity had ever brought forth. Of course, Neytiri had been skeptical at first and furious at worst, but she was proven wrong when all of Jake's chosen actions paid off well. She accepted that not everything humanity had produced was necessarily bad; just look at her husband.

Her daughter looked just as happy, but her smile was more directed at her father. Neytiri always knew that, while their children spent way more time with her, they all adored their father greatly. His position had not allowed him a lot of free time, but the little time he had he spent with them. Over the years, he had been able to delegate some of his tasks to his fellow warriors and students, but with the growth of the clan, his workload grew along with his prestige, which grew to a yet unknown level among his people, and the word of his fame traveled far.

How had this foolish soldier become the sole ray of hope for her people? Neytiri watched Jake laugh, losing some air when Kiri asked him to dance. Sadly, Jake was not a gifted dancer, but he was so securely wrapped around his daughter's finger that he agreed. She got both of them a stingray—Jake even flapped his arms like a bird when they attached to his back, which made Kiri curl up in laughter—and moved them to a flat surface. She showed him how to bend his knees and move his body and arms in a slow wave-like motion. By the time they were in sync with the water and each other, hundreds of tiny golden fish swirled around and moved with them. Their tanhi (illuminating freckles) glowed in a steady beat as they danced with bright smiles on their faces.

Neytiri noticed Ronal staring at them, but she was unable to be angry at the woman. It always startled people how beloved those two were by Eywa.

Let me tell you that I looked up some possible Treatments for Depression, Imposter-syndrome and childhood trauma. I will adapt them to Pandora as best as I can. As much as I love some good drama, I love therapy and happy kids, way better. Actually I'm unsure how to proceed at this point. If the mood should go up or down, if I give them some rest or let them struggle?

You are welcome to write what you think, I'm still open to suggestions ;D

I hope you're all well.