Welcome back to another chapter. I'm pretty sure this is the first time in this story that a title drop happens, so be on the lookout. No special warnings for this chapter, but there is one panickattack in here.

You know your own limits the best.

Please enjoy.

Chapter 14

Jake takes time to see Tonowari and Ronal after bringing Kiri home. The man was confused and a little worried when Jake explained that he had gone to meditate in the morning and had forgotten to tell him. He showed him the two caught fish and the crystal stone Kiri and him had found. The chief is baffled by the catch but tells him to take some time to be with his kids, he had worried so much in the past few days. Jake is grateful to have such an understanding friend.

Ronal instead gives him an intimidating stare. She accepts some smaller stone shards as a gift, but does not reply to Jake in any other form. Her husband cringes at her disrespectful attitude, sending his friend an apologetic glance before giving him his leave.

Back at the pod he stops at the entrance and is surprised to find his eldest son with a wide grin, his younger son being flustered, a giggling Tsireya and a bowing Ao'nung, who had officially apologised to Lo'ak, for his absolute stupid prank. Ao'nung is even holding out an ornament of his as a gift.

"I hope that you'll be able to forgive me one day, but I understand if you can't. My actions were based on fears that had nothing to do with you and were unfair to you. Please believe me when I say I won't do it again and try hard to be better in the future." Jake heard the ending of a longer monologue.

"Yeah bro, just hope you didn't get into too much trouble with your parents. They looked pretty pissed yesterday." Lo'ak replied, accepting the gift he was offered.

"It wasn't their wrath that made me see my fault." Was the others honest reply. His obvious glance to Neteyam at his side said everything Lo'ak and Jake needed to understand.

"I was made aware of the fact that I have much, much more to learn to become a responsible adult and chief." Ao'nung said with a grim smile on his face while Lo'ak even let out a chuckle.

"Mom and Dad are the best people to learn from." Lo'ak replied, as did Ao'nung with a nod. Jake was somewhat impressed with his son, for thinking so highly of him. He felt uncomfortable with the growing certainty that he might have underestimated his children's love for him. Kiri had also surprised him today. As their father he should know their feelings better.

"Yes I heard." Ao'nung said.

"He trained others back in the forest didn't he?"

"Why? Do you think he would train you?" Came the less than friendly question from Kiri, who had spoken in a scathing tone.

"Whoa sis, He said he's sorry already." Lo'ak tried to calm her down but failed miserably.

"Oh and a sorry makes everything he's done better now? Lo'ak you weren't the only one hurt in this endeavour. Yes you were the one in mortal danger, but think what this would do to us? To our parents?" Jake felt like he had to intervene before she said anything that could escalate the situation more.

"You have no Idea what you've done to our family. My father-" he cleared his throat and effectively stopped Kiri from spilling more than he was comfortable with, to a stranger. All teens snapped their eyes to him and Lo'ak immediately rose to stand before him with Neteyam.

"You're back sir." Lo'ak stated the obvious. Jake felt a sting in his heart at the address. At some point of his life Lo'ak always addressed him with sir when he was either angry with, or scared of Jake. The "sir" was one of the last remnants of his own childhood that he integrated into his education, but it was meant as a sign of respect, not domination. What had he done to make his son fear him now?

"Yes, Lo'ak, and we have guests." He smiled softly over to Tsireya and Ao'nung, who had followed Lo'ak's gesture in standing up.

"We greet you sir." The older brother said. Jake held back a groan. Now the kids here even copied the address.

"You do not have to address me this way. It is meant for a father or superior. To you I am neither." Jake answered while bowing his head a little in greeting.

"You are my fathers friend and leader of a mighty clan. You deserve this respect, sir." Ao'nung insisted, earning him some nervous glances from Jakes kids.

"I'm not longer a chief, and I don't believe you address any other friend of your father in this manner." Jake countered, making his children look down… in shame? Disappointment? He suppressed the dark thoughts again, promising himself to deal with them later.

"But you are the person I hope to learn from. It is only right I address you like this, sir." The stubborn boy insisted.

"You know that I do not even fully know your ways, how would I be a good choice as a teacher?" Jake asked, getting a little tired. There shouldn't be any other kids scared into submission by him.

"I was raised with our ways, I do not need to learn them. But you can train me to become Olo'eyktan. You did so in your clan, why not do it here, sir?" The way he repeated this word over and over again grated Jakes nerves. He took a deeper breath to calm down.

"You're father started your training already, didn't he? You should not ask for another teacher without your parents consent. They lead this village, I'm barely a functioning member of the clan. A refugee seeking safety. But if you are so determined then come back with Tonowari tomorrow. I will agree to nothing without his agreement." Jake finished, ending the discussion. Ao'nung bowed his head a little.

"Yes, sir" cheeky brat, that one. Jake let out a silent sigh before gathering up some ingredients to start lunch. It was a little late already but he guessed that his family did not eat yet.

"You plan to stay for some lunch?" He asked the Metkayina siblings, who shook their heads in sync.

"We have intruded on you for too long. Have a good meal." Tsireya replied with a kind smile, pushing her brother to the entrance.

"We will see you all later?" She asked his kids who all gave her nod of agreement. Then they left.

Jake silently finished collecting all the needed food and utensils before he carefully sat down but halted for a second. That turned out to be trickier than he thought because he neither wanted to show of his bruised inner thighs, that were mostly covered by his loincloth, nor did he wish to sit on his shins yet. That left him either kneeling with propped up heels or his legs awkwardly splayed to the side. He opted for option one and carefully sat down, not noticing Kirk's pained expression or Lo'ak's confused look as they watched him.

Neteyam, always dutiful, offered to help and got some water to boil it in one of their pots. The meal was done after a short while and they silently enjoyed their meal. Neytiri and Tuk entered the pod, so Jake offered them food, but his wife told him that they had been invited to lunch by Mehria. Kiri looked delighted at the news, and Jake was happy Neytiri was making friends.

She was never shy with touch, but it surprised even him when she suddenly clasped his face in her hands, studying his features carefully. Her eyes flickered down to his legs and he realised she knew. Neytiri pulled him close, kissing his forehead with such tenderness that Jake pressed his eyes shut to lean into the touch. He knew his kids were watching, but he felt so loved by her silent understanding and support that his entire body relaxed into her hold. He wrapped his arms around her slim waist and laid his ear above her heart as soon as she released his face. For these moments he thanked Eywa he had been greedy enough to mate her. There was no one else that he loved as much as her, even their children, not even Tommy.

He peeked his eyes open to see that Lo'ak was covering Turk's eyes in embarrassment. Neteyam looked to the ground but there was and obvious smile on his face. Kiri openly stared at them as if she saw them cuddle for the first time ad he could only hope to understand what was going on in her brain. Neytiri just continued to hold him, softly playing with his hair. The way she did that, told him that she planned to renew his hairdo during the next couple of hours, so he groaned into her sternum. He never got better taking care of his hair, so he gave her total permission to decide that for him.

When he finally let her go, most of their kids had sneaked out to get back to their lessons except for Neteyam.

"Dad, it was me who told Ao'nung about your teaching other clan head heirs. He looked very interested and even agreed to apologise to Lo'ak in this bigger way so I could accompany him when he asked you. I thought you might like to have a student again." He said looking like he expected to be scolded.

"There is nothing wrong with what you have done Neteyam. It just surprised me a little. If his parents agree then I'll gladly teach him. I could never ignore the recommendation from my best student." Jake says and smiles at his eldest.

"Go now, I won't detain my own son from his studies." He joked, shooing the laughing boy out of the pod. When he was gone he sighed and leaned back into Neytiri, relaxing into her presence.

The next day Ao'nung really does return with Tonowari in order to speak with Jake. Tonowari is holing on to a flask and two shell cups. They enter the pod with a formal greeting and are invited to sit down.

"My son tells me he wants to learn from you." Tonowari begins, holding out one cup to Jake. Jake accepts, keeping up the eye contact with the other man. His expression does not give away much, but he doesn't look upset.

"Ao'nung told me that this was his wish, yeah." Jake agreed without being asked the question of: is that true?

"Pleas tell us what you would teach. Because I've heard that you trained many future Olo'eyktan in your clan." He was sensing a hint of disbelief in his friend, but no other negative intonations.

"I myself did not receive formal training as Olo'eyktan, as i was chosen after the former chief, and my friend died during the war. As Toruk Makto and war chief, he deemed me worthy to continue his work. Fifteen clans followed me into the fight against the Sky people when I called them, they agreed I should be chief, despite my human heritage. Also I was mated to Neytiri, who was tsakarem (Tsahik in training) and the former chief's daughter, before the war began." Jake paused for a while to asses their expressions. He felt he should be better at this shit, after years of being a chief, but reading others was never his strong forte. To him both Ao'nung and Tonowari looked all but slightly interested in his tale.

"My stile of leading was very different to my predecessors. Some of my teaching stem from ancient earth teachings, from wise men who lived before greed killed the planet. I teach to trust Eywa as much as to trust your people. Know your people and your territory. Learn to find individuals of skill and competence to delegate your tasks. As chief you are no ruler, but the first servant to your clan. Organise instead of carrying all burdens by yourself. Find a way to build up a structure in your clan that can sustain stressful situations as well as communicate easily. Show integrity and responsibility but also follow the path that Eywa has planned for you.

"These are things that I teach future Olo'eyktan, but I have taught their generals as well. As a prime war chief I also teach strategies for battle, rationing of food and supplies when needed or how to cope with stress in your own way." Jake might be wrong, but he got the sense that the pair of father and son looked impressed. Neytiri who had listened in on the conversation had a proud look on her face.

"My husbands leadership was unusual at first, but as much as I despise the Sky people, they have strengthened our clan and many others besides our own. Many have wished to learn from him after seeing the great results of his work." She preens and Jake cringes a little at her boasting. Tonowari nods his head in a slow motion, offering Jake some of the drink in the flask. Jake holds out a cup and a muddy liquid is spilled inside. He waits a little for Tonowari to fill his own cup and the drink.

Jake nearly chocked at the pungent taste of alcohol and the burning sensation down his throat. By the time he was fully Omatikaya, he had pretty much avoided any kind of alcoholic drink, except fore some rituals of the leader, that required it. But he knew the drill so he held out his cup again.

"How long will it take for you to teach my son?" Tonowari asked and Jake got an entirely too excited look from Ao'nung. Good to see the boy was passionate about his schedule.

"I had different amounts of time before. Each student needs their own time, but most them felt better prepared after one to two years. They all had to train for themselves after that, to built up on what I have taught them, but every Olo'eyktan will have to grow into their role at some point. I can only prepare them with strategies that have proven their worth over centuries in human history." Jake explained. The two men downed the next cup, and Jake had to fight down a bit of nausea.

"Then would you honour us by teaching the next Metkayina chief?" Jake loved that his friend was so straight forward. With one look to Neytiri, Jake agreed with her blessing.

"The honour is mine. I shall teach to the best of my abilities." Now that the official part of the request was over, both Jake and Tonowari threw their cups into the fire they sat around. Ao'nung came closer and began poking Jake with questions that he happily answered. They stayed for the entire morning before they had to return to their duties. Ao'nung and Jake would start the training the following week, early in the mornings.

The sully kids sat on the beach with Tsireya, who was telling them about all the clans festivals, when a brightly grinning Ao'nung joined the group. When they asked what his good mood was about he told them about the meeting he had in the morning.

"Your father agreed to train me as future Olo'eyktan! I can tell you Tsireya, Dad was super impressed when he heard what he would be teaching me. If he teaches me even a small part of all this it would be so worth the fight with mom." He exclaimed, still high on the thrill.

"Wait you fought with your Mom?" Lo'ak asked, he was not really surprised that Jakes teachings were impressive, he had seen many others hyped about what they had leaned. But he did not understand how anyone would be glad to fight with the crazy scary Tsahik if the reef clan.

"Didn't she want you to learn from Dad?" He asked shortly after, and felt Tsireya cringe by his side.

"Our mother… she was not too happy I guess. She was under the same assumptions I was at first," Ao'nung glanced over to Neteyam.

"So I set her straight on some points, what escalated to a fight for a short while." Ao'nung explained, but Tsireya's unbelieving stare at her brother might have raised some more questions to the truth behind that statement. She also focused on Lo'ak's face for quite some time afterwards. To be precise, on the red beads decorating his front braid.

"But I persuaded her in the end and now Jake agreed as well." The satisfaction in the chief's son made him blind to some of the disbelieving stares he received from the other teens.

"Good for you, bro. Just don't come crying to us when the training gets too hard. Dad can be a really mean teacher." Lo'ak warned. Neteyam had somewhat of a wistful look in his eyes, while Tuk cheered and bragged about her father being the BEST. Kiri on the other hand openly glowered at Ao'nung, thoughts about her father from a day before back in her mind. Her worry reminded her of another person that she had tried not to think about too much, unless it would make her only more angry.

They change the topic and somehow Lo'ak tells them of his adventure outside the reef. It ends pretty bad when he storms off later on, angry with the others for calling his tulkun friend a killer.

Lo'ak spent the entire evening with Payakan. He felt so safe with the tulkun, heard and cared for in a way he sometimes missed in his home. Of course he knew his parents loved him, but they had so little time for him. The only time they really took time for him was when he got into some stupid situation really. Not that he provoked these situations in any way.

He wasn't perfect in the way Neteyam was, and not as loved as Kiri, who could make their father smile with just existing. Tuk as well had nothing to prove to their parents, while Lo'a only felt like he worried and stressed his parents even more than usual. He had loved the few hours he had spent with his dad, the day Payakan saved him. It was just them and Jake was smiling at Lo'ak in a way that he could barely remember receiving before.

Somehow Ao'nung's apprenticeship would take away even more of his dads time. Maybe Lo'ak could join them like he did when they were still in the forest. He would never be chief, but maybe he could be a general someday, so he would need the training as well. His Dad had never forbade him to come, except when it could become dangerous in some way.

Payakan cooed at him and made Lo'ak smile.

"You think this is a good idea buddy?" Another coo and Lo'ak began to laugh in relief.

"Well, then I have to do it." He replied with a grin.

The two friends parted soon after and Lo'ak made his way back to the village. It was not yet dark outside, but the first fires were lit in preparation for evening meal and some of the bioluminescent plants and corals began to glow in the water below him.

He was about to arrive at the beach when he saw a familiar form waiting for him. His stomach curled in apprehension when he saw Jake, arms crossed with a blank expression.

"Where were you?" His father asked.

"With Payakan… the tulkun that saved me. You remember?" A soft breath from his father and his arms uncrossed now.

"Of course I remember. But I want to know if you were outside the reef again." Jake demanded in a much softer voice. His tanhi were brightening in the dimming light, his eyes very much orange in the setting sun.

"No! We met inside the reef, just a little further outside. He would not endanger me." Lo'ak explained and to his relief he saw the worry in his fathers eyes disappear.

"I'm glad to hear that. Is Payakan alright?" Jake asked and Lo'ak gave him a big smile.

"He says you should come the next time I visit him… if I visit him?" The last part was said with some uncertainty.

"Im not going to tell you to stop seeing your friend. I know he won't harm you, and if you stay in the reef I don't see a problem with it." His father agreed.

"I'd like to see him again too, some time. Maybe say thank you in better fashion." Lo'ak was so glad to hear his father say that.

"That would be awesome, Dad!" He shouts and punches his fist up, as in victory. Jake chuckles and pulls him into a half hug.

"I was pretty worried though when Neteyam told me you rushed of earlier." Lo'ak stopped his small celebration to look at his father again in apprehension.

"I'm sorry Dad. I did not mean to worry you." They stayed silent for a couple minutes.

"Wanna go on a run?" Jake asks, and Lo'ak nods. Their runs through the forest were the one of the only times he had Jake to himself. He loved those, even if they were incredibly exhausting.

"Race ya around the island, Dad." He called, before taking off in a head start. Lo'ak heard his father shout an 'unfair' before he began his chase after his son.

It was completely dark when they both stumbled back into the village, exhausted but happy. They dropped by the fire where their family was eating their evening meal, sweet sticking to their bodies. Kiri turned her head away at their smell, what made Lo'ak laugh.

"You getting slow, old man." He teased.

"Shut up you brat, I caught you two hundred meters into the run." Jake replies, breath still a little laboured.

"That's what I mean." Lo'ak counters, making their family laugh.

"You better wash, you stink. Both of you." Kiri quips, shuffling away from Lo'ak's teasingly attempted hug. Jake instead pulled Neytiri close, who slapped his chest a little.

"You are insufferable children, both of you." She hisses in mostly fake annoyance. She does not really mind her sweaty mate, nor her laughing children. Neytiri really does not mind at all.

A couple days later, Kiri finds Jake on the beach, where he is knotting new fishing nets. In her excitement she slammed into his back to hug him and hears how several other men laugh at the way Jake bowed over at the sudden attack.

"My gosh Kiri! Way to give me a heart attack." Jake exclaimed before laughing as well.

"Dad I need you to come with me! Tsireya told us she would take us to the cave of the Ancestors. It is like our Tree of Souls, so I thought I should bring you along. You have not been there yet, have you?" This childish glee was very rare in his daughter, but considering her very strong connection to Eywa and the fact that she had been constantly worried for him the couple last days, probably enforced this behaviour. Not wanting to let her down, he looks at Tonowari with a raised brow and the other man chuckles.

"Who am I to forbid a father to do his daughters wish?" He joked, and Jake threw him a grateful smile as he got up to follow Kiri. She was so excited that she was even pulling on his arm.

"You can ride with me, Dad." She said, already calling for her Ilu.

"I named him Irrtok (Stream of water), because he moves like he is one with the water." Jake was a little dumbfounded at being manhandled by his sixteen year old daughter, but had the presence of mind to greet the Ilu by his new name. He sat behind her on Irrtok even if the space was a little scarce and he probably looked a tad ridiculous, clinging to Kiri like this. Her smile made the loss of dignity worth it.

They met up with the other teens that gave the pair of daughter and father strange looks. They must have looked even more ridiculous than he was willing to admit.

"You wanted to bring Dad?" Lo'ak looks bewildered. Jake could relate.

"Yeah, got a problem with that?" Kiri goes into defensive mode. Ao'nung, his friend and Tsireya made big eyes at him before greeting him in a formal manner. In order to keep some of his self respect, he kept quiet and nodded his head at the greeting.

"I did not know you wanted to come along, father." Neteyam spoke to Jake.

"I didn't know it either, but I've come this far, so I won't go back before I've seen the cave to the ancestors myself." He replied, internally hoping that they would start moving already, so he could live down this embarrassing situation in some quiet corner.

To his relief, Tsireya, who held Tuk securely before her on her Ilu, called out to them to follow after her and they got moving. Lo'ak's teasing grin in Jakes direction made Jake groan. There was no way he would be able to live this down the way he wished.

The underwater tree was pretty epic. It's branches looked like huge feathers and many of the golden fish moved around it. The cove was just as magical as the Tree of Souls back in the forest, that held such sad but also dear memories for him. They reminded Jake of what was lost, but held securely in Eywa's care. Only one person really missed here. He reached up to his neck, caressing the stones at his throat.

They dove down, each person connecting to one of the leaves and Jake was next to Kiri, who insisted on holding his hand, like a little child that he knew she wasn't anymore. He was not used to her rather public shows of affection, but he would never refuse her, unless he wanted to never receive such affection again.

She connected her que with a peaceful smile and stilled in the usual way, when Eywa had someone to show you. Jake was unsure why, but he seldomly fell so deep into a trance, as to really see another person.

He sometimes heard Tsu'teys good natured quips at his intelligence or age, Eytukan would speak to him when he needed advice and Grace was even worse when it came to insults, than his friend and brother. He even introduced himself to Sylvanin, who was excited to meet her little sisters mate. She would tell them of their childhood and how Neytiri became the person he had met years back.

Today he only really felt the warm hum around him, that he usually felt when Eywa was near. He had shared many of his troubles with the deity over the years and mostly found comfort with her. As unable as he was to understand her whispers on other occasions, here it was the same. Something hindered him to really hear her, what sometimes frustrated him.

Mo'at had always told him he was very much beloved by the goddess, yet he was still unable to interpret her word by himself.

His hand was yanked away and his connection broken when he looked into Kiri's distraught eyes. They moved up to the surface, where her tears started to fall, that had been invisible underwater.

"Hey, darling. Tell me what is going on?" Jake hushed, pulling her into his chest. A couple sobs wracked her body, before she finally started talking.

"I saw my aunt Sylvanin-" a shaky sob, "-and she told me my mother would not be appearing in my visions anymore. She said… Grace is gone from Eywa. Gone to somewhere, but she couldn't tell." Kiri explained to the best of her abilities. Her crying made it hard for Jake to understand each word, but he got the gist of it. The hurt only registered a couple moments later.

"Grace is gone?" He asks in shock and Kiri nods.

"But Dad, why is she gone? Where would she go?" His daughter turned more and more hysterical, so Jake began to swim to the shore.

"Breathe for me girl, you need to breathe." He soothed despite his own hurt. Kiri adored Grate to bits and pieces, that sometimes made even Jake jealous.

"I don't want to loose another person. Not like him. Where is Mom?" Kiri continued to hyperventilate. Her voice pitching higher and higher.

"Kiri!" He gave her a short shout, but she ignored him.

"Kiri! Listen to me, you need to breathe." He tried again, but she only reacted to him when her sook her shoulders for a second.

"Breathe for me, love." And he breathed in and out in a slow fashion, motioning for her to imitate him. As she tried the other teens came up to shore to see what the matter was. Jake ignored them in favour of breathing for his daughter. It took her some minutes, before her pattern became more steady again, but soon after she slumped in exhaustion and fell back into Neteyam's waiting arms.

His eldest immediately understood when Jake shook his head. They would talk about it later.

"Could you bring your sister back? I'll be right behind you." Neteyam agreed and called for his Ilu, Kiri held closely to his chest. Jake called for Roy as well, who was very good to hear him even over great distances.

As he turned around he looked at his two younger children and three Metkayina teens, who all shared the questioning looks. He sighed but decided to to explain for the time he waited for Roy.

"Grace, Kiri's birth mother died very early. When Kiri connected to the tree, she saw her aunt instead and was told that Grace was gone somehow. She was very upset." Lo'ak took a sharp breath and Tuk wailed her sisters name. The others looked worried but not as shocked. They never got the chance to meet Grace.

"Neteyam is bringing her back home. I think she'll be better in a bit, so you can stay here if you want. I'll be going after them now." Jake said, recognising Roy as he swam towards them. Lo'ak and Tuk immediately expressed the wish to return as well, and the others decided to come along. So soon after they all were on their way back to Awa'atalu.

Only when he had the cool air, beating at his chest, did Jake realise what his daughter has said last.

Not like him. Not like Spider.

His guilt built up as he thought about the brave boy. Alone amongst Quaritch and his men. The decision to not go after him had been the logical one. They could not storm into Hell's Gate, bows blazing and probably endangering the lives of hundred's, for the life of a boy that had never been really accepted by the tsakarem. It broke his heart, or at least the parts that weren't already broken, to feel his own helplessness in the face of the human force. All he could really do was gather up the pieces and run. No honourable fight or reputation was worth his families lives or the safety of his clan. So Spider had been left behind, possibly left to death, but Jake decided to believe in the boy. If he could not save him to call him his own, then he would honour him by believing him able to survive.

He prayed to the great mother that she would be kind with the child he desperately wanted to see again. In his dream Spider was his, but in reality he was not even sure if the teen even wanted to see him again.

The family mourned the loss of Grace another time, unsure where her soul had disappeared to. There was no reasonable comfort to give, because no one knew what could have happened to the woman.

That evening Ronal came by the Sully's tent, meaning to apologise for her own behaviour to them until her own son had shown her that her thinking had been wrong. She found them in mourning, questioning Eywa's will, so she stayed with them, praying to the mother to offer the comfort that she herself with her limited knowledge could not give.

She stayed deep into the night after the mother had begged her to. She stayed until she really received a sign. In her heart she felt that Grace Augustine was not lost, and that she would reappear soon. She told the family to be patient. They would receive a sign of her within the month, so before that time was over, no one should be mourning.

In only one night, Ronal had befriended the foreign family, that she had despised only a day earlier. Some would say it was unheard of, but Ronal knew it to be Eywa's wise guidance in her life. She was glad to have been of help and decided to check up on the family in the morning.

Two weeks later Jake wakes up with a sudden jolt, waking Neytiri. His eyes single in on the first ray of sunlight, shining through the entrance. For the first time in his life on Pandora he fears the intense red colour of sunrise.

Early the next day the horn of a new arrival could be heard: Possible enemies were coming.

I thank you again for reading this chapter. As always feel free to leave a comment, I'm always exited to hear from you.

The next chapters will be a little more stressful, so be warned.