Hellooooo my peeps!
I'm so sorry for the delayed update! Life has been quite hectic for a few months now. With a long commission on my lap, moving to another place, changing teams at work and just overall a lot of stuff happening, it's been really difficult to juggle.
But alas, I'm here and will never give up on my stories!
I'm going away on vacation this week, so I though to myself, damn, I HAVE to finish the damn chapter. And phew, it's done!
However... be mindful that I have edited in full speed so the likelihood of you guys finding a LOT of typos is very big.
I'm afraid that this chapter may not be anything special or satisfying, but it's one of the few chapters that I knew I would write since I started this story. Hopefully you'll understand why it was a necessary evil for a few things to fall into place and make sense.
Thank you all for the lovely comments, I will reply to them as soon as I can! Don't let my delays discourage you, because I read all comments and I do reply to the best of my abilities because my lovely readers matter to me and I love you all for being so faithful and amazing 3
ON WITH THE SHOW!
From Which We'll Rise
Part XXXV: Life Changes III
When Sasuke had said he would head out earlier to have a drink with Naruto before Team 7's dinner, Sakura didn't have the strength to say anything against it, even if her first instinct was to ask if she could join them. Sasuke seemed to sense this because he calmly explained that there was something important that he needed to discuss with Naruto. To her surprise, he even told her which bar they'd be at, just in case she wanted to join them a bit later.
This was something that relieved her in a way, even though it became clear that her husband was asking for some alone time with their friend.
Despite knowing that it was already a bit late and that her two teammates would not have time for sexual escapades before dinner, Sakura still felt uneasy, as she always did whenever Sasuke was around, doing whatever instead of spending time at home.
Sasuke seldom visited Konoha, and whenever he did, Sakura barely saw him, let alone interact with him, because he was always busy reporting to Kakashi, attending business meetings, and going here and there to take care of issues beyond Sakura's knowledge.
He would sometimes see Sarada and play with her for a little while, but there was always something else that he needed to do and somewhere else he needed to be.
Granted, Sasuke was at least interested in making sure that their family was taken care of and that there were no pending financial issues to tend to. He made sure all the bills were paid, that there was enough money in their joint accounts, that the house didn't need any repairs, and that both Sakura and Sarada had everything they needed. Even Sarada's glasses were provided—a courtesy of Karin that Sakura was grateful for but a little upset about.
Karin was, after all, Sarada's biological mother, and while the woman made no demands to be involved in the child's life and the glasses would always be a gift from Sasuke and not her, Sakura still felt restless.
Sasuke may not be an exemplary husband or father, but he did try the best he could to make sure they lacked nothing.
It still didn't feel like it was enough and was barely anything close to what Sakura had envisioned or hoped for.
By now, she knew well that idealizing her perfect version of Uchiha Sasuke was a fault of hers, but she couldn't help but feel hopeful for something, somehow, someday, even if it exhausted her in every way.
She just wanted a normal family and a husband she could rely on. Granted, she had a lot of help from her parents and friends who would always offer to take care of Sarada, so Sakura wasn't exactly overwhelmed as a single mother, but it still felt lonely.
The fact that Sasuke was constantly evolving didn't exactly help Sakura's yearning to wane.
Maturity suited him as he became taller and more handsome, and while he had always been imposing, life experience made him look strong, reliable, and more dignified than ever.
It was frustrating that she was married to one of the strongest and probably better-looking men in Konoha, and she took no personal pleasure or gain from it. No one but herself knew this, but the humiliation was the same.
Sakura was aware of how things were between Sasuke and Naruto. She was aware of Sasuke's distaste for Konoha, too, and even his distaste for their arranged marriage, and even though she wasn't exactly happy, either, she still felt like sharing this secret between them was a blessing that would at least keep their bond intact, weak as it was.
Perhaps someday their bond would become stronger somehow.
She didn't know what to do anymore when he was so stoic and openly disinterested in a deeper relationship with her.
There was no doubt that Sasuke's focus was unwavering and that he had developed greater emotional intelligence, making him kinder and less prone to outbursts.
Even if he didn't desire her in a physical and sexual way, Sakura couldn't help but be in awe of him constantly and wonder about the life he led that had helped him grow so much.
Regardless, since he returned, she had noticed that he had changed somewhat, more than during previous times. Not that he seemed more loving (his attraction to her was nonexistent as always), but he did seem less cold, less awkward, and a little more talkative.
There was a peacefulness about him that was unmistakably new, and she had to wonder what had happened to cause it.
Was this because Naruto was appointed the next Hokage? Perhaps something else?
Would he ever tell her?
Well, that day, she was hopeful for something from Sasuke, whatever that might be.
Her hopes had been ignited because, before leaving to meet with Naruto, Sasuke had told her that he wanted to talk to her later that night as well, and this was both worrying and exciting because they hadn't sat down to have a proper conversation since Sarada's birth.
Sakura made a small bag with a few essentials for Sarada to take to her grandparents' house for the night. She got ready as she usually did, making sure she wore a flattering white dress and put some makeup on to enhance her natural beauty. It was important to her that she make an impression.
In high spirits, she left the house with Sarada, dropped her off at her grandparents', and made her way to the restaurant at the arranged time.
Despite dearly wanting to join Sasuke and Naruto for drinks, Sakura had decided against it so as not to seem pushy or inconvenient.
It had also been such a long time since they had been together, just the three of them, that she wasn't sure how much of a good idea it would be at this point, when so many things had changed and their team dynamics had become so unbalanced.
Granted, Sakura wasn't sure about how she would feel about Sasuke and Naruto . As a duo, as individuals, as her friends and teammates, and as men she had once wanted but somehow managed to lose.
If only things could go back to the way they were before. Right now, she had no idea what to do to fix all the things they had broken, so she did the same as everyone else in Team 7—she pretended all was fine.
When she arrived at the restaurant, she was led by the waitress to a private room at the farthest end. She found Sasuke sitting next to Kakashi, with Naruto across from him next to Yamato.
Naruto seemed to be in a suspiciously good mood, as he offered her a huge smile as soon as he saw her.
"Sakura-chan, you're here!" He greeted her while patting the seat next to him excitedly, bright blue eyes shining like diamonds—it was obvious that he was already a bit tipsy. "Sai seems to be a bit late, but we're ordering drinks anyway!"
"Hello, everyone," Sakura greeted, waving at the men and sitting on the bench next to Naruto. She leaned forward to look at Yamato. "Yamato-sensei, it's been a while!"
"Indeed," Yamato said, leaning forward as well and smiling at her a little awkwardly. "It's nice to see you. You look wonderful."
"You do look very beautiful, as always, Sakura," Kakashi agreed softly, with a small nod that was also a sort of greeting. He had divested of his Hokage robes and was simply wearing a normal, dark blue Shinobi uniform, giving away the fact that he did not have time to go home and change after work.
For some reason, Sakura felt her cheeks catch fire as she shyly tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Thank you, Kakashi-sensei."
At this, she felt the heavy weight of eyes on her and noticed that Sasuke was eying her with mock curiosity, always the intelligent, perceptive one.
Blushing further, Sakura looked away, not really understanding why she felt so weird all of a sudden.
She and the current Hokage had been going out for drinks on occasion, and every single time Sakura had dressed up, it made her feel good considering the older man always complimented her.
There was nothing wrong with any of it; they talked and drank a bit, reminisced about old times, and complained about daily stuff, but she understood how it could be perceived as something inappropriate.
However, if there was nothing inappropriate about it, why did she feel so self-conscious? Kakashi wasn't even old enough to be her father, more like an older brother or an uncle. Plus, they had a past together, and Kakashi always listened to her and they had pleasant, easy conversations that could last for hours.
Still, Sakura's casual outings with her former teacher were not something she had openly talked about with anyone, and she knew for a fact that Kakashi hadn't said a word about it to another soul, either. After all, Sakura was a mother and a married woman.
They ordered drinks and Naruto addressed everyone to see how they were doing. He was always loud and a little too excited. Sai arrived not too long after and everyone talked casually like old times, and even Sasuke offered some input here and there despite being quiet as usual. He didn't seem uncomfortable, nor did it seem like he was socializing with them out of obligation, because he actually conversed, asked questions, and laughed. He could hold his liquor well, too, something Sakura had not anticipated.
There was no denying that Sasuke's attention was mostly focused on Naruto, though, who was not holding back on the booze despite how much he stuffed his face with food.
It wasn't as if the atmosphere was heavy between the two men, but there was definitely something . Sakura knew Naruto well enough to know that the more he laughed and the louder he was, the harder something was hitting him—something that had probably saddened him, something he was trying to cope with. She'd seen this far too many times when they'd been teenagers and Naruto had to deal with his own feelings whenever he hadn't been able to bring Sasuke home.
Regardless, it was a fun night. Sai told stories of his son, Inojin, and Ino. Kakashi spoke about politics and news about the village's future—apparently, a new treaty between all the main villages dictated that a great joint investment would take place in order to develop them all technologically, now that the world was at peace and more financial aid was within reach coming from the most powerful daimyōs . This would develop communication, transportation, and health sectors mainly, and then so many other things as well.
It was a good thing this would start while Kakashi was still in charge because Naruto could observe and follow everything up close and take the reins to proceed when the time arrived. Naruto was excited about this, but Sasuke seemed skeptical.
It was great, though. For a while, all of the elements of Team 7 felt like one big happy family, friends for life, as if time and circumstances hadn't pulled them apart.
For a while, Sakura could pretend that she didn't see the longing in Naruto's gaze towards Sasuke and that the two men bickering were just the same childish back and forth of time long past. Part of it was, but now it felt different. Knowing why didn't help.
They almost behaved. Nothing gave it away, but because she knew , she could not unsee it.
When her eyes met Kakashi's, she knew he knew, too. They hadn't openly spoken about it, but by now they didn't have to.
It was better this way.
And she, too, longed for it all as much as they longed for each other.
000
Expectedly, they left the restaurant with a very drunk Naruto who could barely walk and who slurred his mouth off. Sakura and Sasuke offered to take him home as they parted ways with the rest of the men, but it soon became obvious that their teammate was not exactly in a suitable enough shape to meet his wife and children.
Because their house was closer, Sasuke and Sakura decided that it was more reasonable to bring Naruto to their place to sleep it off and call Hinata to let her know. It was a good thing that Sarada would not be sleeping at home, either.
Because Naruto was stumbling a lot and Sakura's heels were not exactly stable enough to help carry a full-grown man who was currently a lot taller than her, Sasuke took upon himself the task of dragging Naruto down the dark streets of Konoha by winding one of Naruto's arms around his shoulders and firmly grabbing him by the waist. Naruto held on tightly to his neck, visibly content with the proximity.
They walked with Naruto between them, just in case Sakura needed to step in to help.
Sakura was unsure about whether she would find the situation funny or uncomfortable. Naruto was singing some song she didn't know at the top of his lungs, and passersby threw weird looks his way. His stumbling also made it difficult for Sasuke to walk straight, so it was quite a sight.
Sakura couldn't help but chuckle.
"Can't you tone it down, Usuratonkachi?" Sasuke mumbled under his breath, and while Sakura had expected him to be angry and exasperated, he was strangely calm and accepting of his current fate.
"Pff, I am happy, so I can do whatever I want!" Naruto slurred, with a snort. "You don't get to tell me what to do, bastard. I don't tell you what to do either, so suck it up."
Promptly, Naruto resumed singing, his voice cracking heavily in the night air, completely out of tune. A groan of displeasure left Sasuke's mouth, but he kept his thoughts to himself.
Curiously, Sakura glanced their way to see them interacting because it was interesting and nostalgic. Those two had always bickered, badmouthed each other, pranked—diminished each other even—and yet, they had always trained together, protected each other, and somehow found a way to work together in perfect sync that required no words.
Now that Sakura thought about it, they had always been very physically comfortable with each other, too, considering boundaries that most people had didn't apply to them since they had been children.
At this point, Sakura supposed that whichever boundaries had potentially existed in the past had been completely torn down in the last few years.
The singing lasted for a while, and they were moving painstakingly slowly, but the night was warm enough, so Sakura didn't mind. Besides, she had eaten a lot; it felt good to walk.
Suddenly, Naruto stopped singing and released a loud burp in Sasuke's ear that had the man jolting and throwing him a look that would freeze lesser men.
"For fuck's sake, Naruto!" Sasuke complained coldly, making a disgusted face, to which the other merely hummed in contentment, leaning his temple against Sasuke's, his eyes clearly unfocused.
"Aw, man, that felt good!" Naruto said, clearly self-pleased. "And I'm hungry."
"You can't possibly be hungry with everything you ate!" Sakura said, snickering in disbelief. "Where do you fit that much food anyway?!"
"We should go to another restaurant and get some more drinks, just the three of us!" Naruto said, and even if his speech was dragged, he sounded like he thought it was the best idea ever.
"There is no way that's happening," Sasuke said firmly. "You're coming to our place and straight to bed."
" Your place ?" Naruto said, straightening up so fast that Sasuke momentarily lost his balance. He looked from Sasuke to Sakura quickly. "Are we having a threesome?"
This time, Sakura herself nearly tripped, completely unprepared for the surprised yet hopeful tone coming from her blond friend.
"To sleep , you drunk idiot!" Sasuke threw, rolling his eyes while making another disgusted face that was frankly disappointing. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"
"Don't yell at me; we totally should!" Naruto defended it because it obviously made perfect sense in his head. "I'm horny, Sas. Plus, w hy didn't we ever have a threesome? It was the most logical solution to all of our problems." Then Naruto looked at Sasuke with a frown. "Did you ever have a threesome, Sas? You're so savvy, open-minded, and shit…"
Despite herself, Sakura gasped slightly under her breath but couldn't find the strength to say anything, blood rushing to her cheeks because she had always wondered about the same things.
If they'd explored their feelings together rather than in such an unbalanced way, would things have been different?
Why had she been so naïve and selfish to the point of trying to have it all?
In the end, she was left with nothing.
"If you don't shut up right now, I'm going to punch you," Sasuke said, and even though his voice was smooth, it was laced with a dangerously warning undertone.
Naruto snorted dismissively. "You're not doing that because you love me," he said, with a clumsy shrug and a smug grin. "And you love to fuck me, too, even though you're always going blah blah about your emotional stuff or whatever."
"It never stopped me from teaching you a lesson before, so don't test my patience."
The silent confirmation made Sakura's heart start beating faster. Again, Sasuke did something completely unexpected and instead of denying any feelings or anything really (especially because Sakura was there), he didn't.
At this point, she could barely take her eyes off them, confused at how to process the onslaught of emotions she was being subjected to just by walking next to them.
"You can't say stuff like that, Sas; it does things to me." Naruto hummed appreciatively and nuzzled his nose on Sasuke's temple. "I kind of love that frisky side of yours."
Sasuke released a very long, nearly supplicating huff. "Please, be quiet already."
For a second, Sakura had to wonder if they had forgotten that she was right there.
"You just don't get it," Naruto kept on babbling despite Sasuke's plea. "You guys… I love you guys so much. I mean, Team 7 and shit, it was like... everything to me back then, you know. And now all this stuff is happening and whatever. I mean, how ? And you guys are so good-looking together; no wonder you have such a cute kid. I mean…"
"Naruto, you're not making any sense." Sakura found some strength to whisper, because she really didn't feel like being subjected to any more than she had to, and she needed to remind him that she was there. She already felt guilty and embarrassed enough.
"Yeah, I know. Whatever ."
Naruto then released a sigh and let his head fall back on Sasuke's shoulder; his expression relaxed, yet it suddenly became sad and contemplative.
Sasuke heaved a sigh, too. Sakura could see his hand tightening around Naruto's waist, perhaps as a means of comfort for both of them.
Silently, the three kept walking slowly, the mood a lot heavier than before. At some point, Naruto buried his head in the crook of Sasuke's neck. "You always smell so good; it pisses me off," he said against the skin, and he sounded upset, like a moping child, as if this deeply disturbed him.
"Thank you, I guess," Sasuke replied softly. "Please behave yourself; we're in the middle of the street. We're almost home."
"Yeah, I'm sorry for being inconvenient," Naruto mumbled, still with his face hidden. "I'm just really... I'm happy for you, but you made me really sad. You know that, right? I know you do that kind of stuff on purpose, and even if I try to ignore it... I can't help it."
"I know," Sasuke acquiesced, soothingly. "I don't do it on purpose to hurt you, but I'm sorry about making you sad."
At this point, Sakura had literally no idea what they were talking about, but she guessed it had to be something to do with the conversation they'd had before dinner. She felt the impulse to ask but held herself back because, unavoidably, she felt out of place enough as it was.
Hopefully, Sasuke would tell her later.
"You don't have to be sorry, stupid!" Naruto retorted, lifting his head to look unfocused at his friend. His blue eyes were watery, resembling shining stars under the streetlights. "You just don't get it, alright? I can't explain it to you anyway. You'll just say I'm selfish and an idiot and whatever, and I know I am; I just..."
"I understand how you feel; you don't need to burn any more brain cells," Sasuke interrupted with another sigh. "You need to keep them if you want to become Hokage."
Naruto's eyes narrowed, but he actually offered his best friend a lopsided smirk, choosing to take the insult as a lighthearted joke. "Fuck you, Sasuke."
Sasuke all but smirked back, lightly, and actually bumped his head against Naruto's gently, affectionately. "You need to get some sleep."
Naruto all but shrugged, shutting his mouth with his lips tightly sealed together, but as he walked, relying strongly on Sasuke's guidance, he was looking at the ground with a thoroughly desolated look on his face that broke Sakura's heart.
It was clear to her that Naruto was sad, and unfortunately, there was nothing she could do about it—the distance between them had gotten too big, and some boundaries that they had both built would not be torn down so easily.
Swallowing down her discomfort, Sakura bit down on her lip and forced her eyes away from her friends.
The walk home was eerily silent afterward.
000
Sakura called Hinata while Sasuke patiently dragged a complaining Naruto up the stairs to the guest room (where Sasuke himself usually slept).
Hinata sounded a little distraught that Naruto had gotten so drunk, but agreed that it was best for him to sleep over instead of coming home and potentially making a mess or disturbing the kids' sleep.
After hanging up, Sakura considered checking if the boys needed something, torn between curiosity and discomfort. The last thing she needed was to see more than she already had and make herself feel worse, but a twisted voice inside her head was very much interested in seeing more.
Am I stupid? She thought to herself, laughing a bit nervously as she stopped herself at the bottom of the stairs. The two were already disgustingly infatuated with each other; she didn't need to see how far the obsession went or how they looked when they were together more intimately.
Still, it ate at her. Regardless, she chose to stay put.
Instead of wallowing in thoughts of self-pity and frustration, she tried to push bitter and anxious feelings away and focused on adjusting her mental state for whatever conversation it was that Sasuke wanted to have.
A little more in control, she headed to the bathroom and removed her makeup, changing into her light pink pajamas. By now, she knew Sasuke would more likely feel at ease if she was casual than if she tried to impress, so she needed to create an environment where he could feel comfortable.
Well, whatever it was that Sasuke had to tell her, he would, regardless of how she presented herself, but the way he approached it could change depending on how he felt.
Sasuke was taking a while, so Sakura went to the kitchen, made some tea, and brought it to the living room, where the dining table was.
As if on cue, she heard footsteps coming down the stairs just before Sasuke peeked inside the room to see if she was there. Sakura noticed he had already changed into a white t-shirt and some pajama pants too, and while she had seen him this casual before, it still brought a tingle of warmth to her heart.
"Sorry to keep you waiting," he said simply, entering the living room and making his way to the table. "It was complicated getting him out of his clothes and in bed, but he's sleeping like a rock now."
"It's alright," Sakura muttered with an awkward smile. She waited as Sasuke unceremoniously sat down in front of one of the teacups she had set before sitting across from him.
"Thank you for the tea," he said with a polite nod before reaching out for the cup and sipping the tea. There was a content sigh before he nodded again. "It's delicious."
Jumping slightly in her seat, Sakura beamed at him, torn between self-satisfaction and shyness. "I'm glad you like it! I can make more if you want."
"It's alright, for now," Sasuke declined, setting the cup down. His voice was so gentle and friendly that it seemed as though he was genuinely trying to tone down his usual defensiveness around her so they could be comfortable around each other, or at least, that was what Sakura could deduce.
This is good, she thought, unable to stop herself from feeling hopeful . Maybe he's willing to improve things between us? Maybe not romantically, but...
"So, I wanted to talk to you because I feel like we don't communicate enough considering our situation," Sasuke started, in an oddly honest way that was also very business-like. "I know that's mainly my fault, and for that, I apologize. That's something we should really work on, especially for Sarada's sake."
Sakura nodded. "Yes, I would appreciate that."
Sasuke cleared his throat. "I owe you a lot, Sakura, and even though I never said it, I appreciate you for all the things I made you go through; for taking care of Sarada, the family house; just everything."
"You know I do it because I want to!" Sakura quickly assured him, blushing at the unexpected appreciation. "We're in this together, after all."
"Indeed, and I often tend to forget that. I apologize for that as well."
The man in front of her was familiar, and yet, despite how he had always been honest and straightforward, this was the first time that she had seen him actually trying to be mindful of his words and approaching things in a calm way rather than just blurting out things.
While Sakura appreciated it, she also couldn't help but feel that this was preparing her for something unexpected.
"I understand that you have a complicated life and that I can be very demanding of your attention," she muttered, trying to meet him halfway despite the ominous atmosphere. "I apologize for that, too. I know I push you away instead of winning your trust. It would be good if we could work on that in any way that would be comfortable for you."
By now, she knew that pushing her feelings and her thoughts onto Sasuke would not help, and unfortunately, the things she had seen between him and Naruto had given her a final confirmation that there was no way that she could ever match that.
This was something she had come to terms with, especially after the numerous talks she'd had with Kakashi about Team 7 and Sasuke. While once she thought she should work hard to show her affection and her interest to prove her love, she now understood that Sasuke would respect her more if she gave him space—just as Hinata had done with Naruto.
Sakura still wanted Sasuke's love and acceptance, no matter which shape it took, and yet she was growing tired of constantly slamming against the same wall and being rejected.
She wanted love. She wanted a caring husband, passion, sex, familiarity, comfort,
All things she knew, deep down, that he would not provide.
Still, they were friends, hopefully, and had become a family somewhat, so she still hoped that she could have something from him that would be better than being in this horrible limbo.
Sasuke contemplated her for a long time, seeming to take in her words and try to assess how to interpret and respond to them. Eventually, he nodded in silent acknowledgment and straightened his back, looking resolute. "Well, there are many things that you don't know about me, but I think it's time you do; as the mother of my daughter, my wife but, more importantly, my friend."
Again, she was taken aback by the choice of words coming from such a usually stoic and emotionally detached man, but she instantly understood that she would, at long last, be privy to details of Sasuke's life that had been hidden from her, perhaps for years.
Her heart was beating like crazy as she nodded vivaciously. "I'm all ears!"
Even as she said it, apprehension and fear made her stomach churn.
As she had expected, Sasuke didn't disappoint, and the things he told her were jaw-dropping.
She could only stare at him as he told her everything , but no matter what she had imagined, it wasn't what she was expecting at all.
She was not ready.
Sasuke began by telling her about his journey with Naruto. While there was a lot she was sure he was leaving out, he told her openly that they had come to a consensus about their feelings for each other during that time and that they had lost their virginity to each other.
Despite trying her best to be mature, Sakura tensed at the knowledge, her whole body catching fire.
Of course, they had lost their virginity to each other. Why had she expected anything different? She was the one who had made things up in her own mind about them just to diminish what they had.
He told her about how Naruto had almost left Hinata for him just before finding out she was pregnant and that the grief of not having it happen was what ultimately led him to get involved with Karin and Juugo.
He told Sakura about Katsuo, the boy he had adopted before he ever knew Karin was pregnant, and his failed situationship with Gaara (of which Naruto knew nothing). Sasuke also talked about this village he and Naruto had visited on their journey and how Katsuo lived there—it was a place he loved and had been working hard to develop.
He told her about his medical knowledge and how, once in a while, he helped people in need by taking them to the village and offering them a second chance.
Sakura came to know that the Uchiha and Itachi had a secret that Sasuke was trying to bring to light with documented evidence, and while he didn't tell her what it was about, it was one of his dreams to clear his brother's name. Another shocking revelation.
Sakura had always believed that Sasuke hated his brother and was more than happy to have him dead. It was a whole new perspective on his story—of him—that this was not the truth.
Sasuke also admitted to having tried to establish boundaries between himself and Naruto over the years but was unable to. For that reason, they had found some sort of compromise between them and got involved sometimes if Sasuke was emotionally available.
Naruto had also promised that they would be together at some point, but from the way Sasuke spoke about it, it was clear that he was conflicted about whether to believe him or not, and yet, the suffocating longing displayed on his features was unbearable to look at.
All in all, Sasuke was stuck in a loop with Naruto and seemed unable to escape it, yet he didn't let that affect his choices or his life, and he moved on.
This utterly shattered Sakura unexpectedly as some things became painfully clear to her.
She had made so many wrong assumptions about the relationship between Sasuke and Naruto, especially imagining them shamelessly falling into each other's arms without restraint or consideration for other people's feelings.
However, they both struggled with not being able to be together, and both were painfully aware of how much this affected the people around them.
Sasuke did not like knowing that Naruto cheated on Hinata, and it deeply upset him that the woman knew about them, but at this point, he knew there was very little he could do to turn back time.
Naruto and Sasuke were bound by fate itself—the reincarnation of blood brothers, stuck in a cycle of love and hate for eternity. While life itself had brought them together and made them unique to each other, their connection transcended normal bonds, so they simply could not help but want each other and have a fervent desire to be together in order to feel complete and work together to improve the world.
Knowing this was quite a blow for Sakura. Even if she knew Naruto's and Sasuke's relationship was complex in ways she could not understand, she had not expected this, and she had not expected Sasuke to be so open about it either.
Of course, this revelation was also tactical and she could see it from a mile away.
Regardless, as if she hadn't been blown away enough already, Sasuke dropped another bomb—that he had found someone he was emotionally engaged with and would probably start a relationship with sometime soon.
It was all so sudden and confusing to her; it was painful, too.
Sasuke had opened up his heart and given his body to so many people already (at least when compared to Sakura, who was still untouched).
He had never opened up to her. Well, he had tried, but his heart had never been into it, and that was a hard pill to swallow.
Sakura had not expected that this sudden explosion of information could change everything about her.
How she saw Sasuke, how she saw the world, her future, and herself. So many things hit her that she could barely understand how it made her feel, so she simply stared at the man in front of her as he talked, unable to ask questions (he was very specific about everything, either way) and trying to rationalize this version of a man she thought she knew, at least to some extent.
It was a slap that she couldn't explain. It wasn't as if there were things about him she hadn't been aware of, but perhaps her idealizations and hopes had somehow clouded the reality of things that he had always tried to show her from the start.
She had no idea what she had thought he'd been doing all those years during his travels, but getting himself a son, developing a village, and getting himself another male lover were not in it.
Of course, he had been working hard for Konoha, taking care of alliances and political affairs, getting important intel, looking out for threats, and so on. He'd also been securing new Jutsus , training, and gaining personal knowledge on things Sakura could only dream of ever achieving, but these were all expected things coming from someone like him. Everything else just wasn't, or at least that's what she had assumed.
He had always been able to surprise and awe her, and yet...
Sakura's mind spun and she felt horrible without even understanding why.
Sasuke had never been perfect. He was stubborn, idealistic, and many times arrogant. He was strongly driven by his goals and emotions, many times not really thinking about how this determination hurt and affected others. He was a deeply flawed man, and she knew it.
But he was also very human. As a kid, she saw his ability to care about others, defend them, and put his life and dignity on the line for them. She'd seen how empathetic he was, how giving he was, and how much kindness he was capable of showing in the most unexpected moments.
These were all things that had lured her to him and still did. No matter what shape it took, she wanted to be someone special to him.
However, when did she start believing that these sides of him were hidden? When had she become so deluded that she believed that the best sides of him were so tightly exclusive to his inner circle that no one else had access to them?
How had she been so blind as to actually believe that if he didn't open himself to her , he wouldn't do so for anyone else?
A part of her had believed that Sasuke's love for Naruto was exclusive and that this locked him away from other people. She had somehow envisioned that Team 7, in its twisted way, was the most important bond Sasuke had—his family and his sole focus.
But why had Sakura chosen to believe this? Naruto himself loved and needed Sasuke above any other person on earth, and yet he still found himself a family and moved on.
Was Sakura the childish one in all of this? Because she had made preconceptions and drowned in her own illusions of how the past was still relevant to her two friends?
She knew nothing of their love or their longing, and yet, they were mature enough to move on and understand their differences and that their feelings were not enough for them to cross paths the way they wanted to, not yet. They moved on, growing as people, still hoping but free of illusions.
But Sakura, she realized, had been trapped in time, stupidly believing that people could change but that the things close to their hearts couldn't.
She was not as relevant to them as she thought. Not that she wasn't important, but they had never once considered her or her feelings when they made their personal decisions.
Sasuke himself moved on with his life without considering her at all. He had two lives—the one he was forced to live and the one he wanted to live—and she was part of the first one.
The stupid thing was, she'd always known it because he had been honest about it. He'd said multiple times that he didn't want her as a lover and that they were linked by a sort of business agreement. Still, she had hoped that he'd see how hard she worked to raise Sarada and take care of the house, keeping family affairs in check and the Uchiha name alive.
Sakura had been so focused on trying to make him see her. She had believed him to be cold and simply resistant when, in fact, his heart had always been open, just not to her.
And she felt really childish and naïve about it like never before.
Naruto and Sasuke had grown and developed as people, and she had been the one believing that in some way, things would always be the same between them and had been stagnating, daydreaming about love. She didn't know them at all.
Right now, she saw Uchiha Sasuke in a clear light, and unfortunately, he seemed more fascinating and beautiful than ever. It broke her heart in a million pieces.
As if she didn't feel broken enough already.
While Sasuke had paused the conversation a few times to sip his tea and give Sakura room to ask questions and interrupt, she hadn't been able to. Her thoughts had been too erratic, and her throat was so tight she could barely speak.
It was true that Sakura felt elated that she now knew things many didn't know about Uchiha Sasuke, and yet she felt empty, sad, and even a little angry, perhaps not at him exactly but at herself, too.
How stupid she had been, fantasizing about a man whose complexities she was too dumb to even notice, let alone comprehend. His past, his clan's story, his motivations and dreams—the way his emotional intricacy was so overwhelming that she couldn't even make sense of it.
She had thought him to be amazing, smart, ambitious, and powerful, but these things were mere grains of sand in the immense beach of who he truly was and all the goals he was actively working to reach.
Had she even loved him for the right reasons at all? He was right there and she hadn't been able to see him at all.
How could she dare to ask him to see her ?
Sasuke was very overwhelming. Accepting all of him seemed like such an easy task, and yet, to someone who lacked such complicated goals and ambitions, it seemed too much all of a sudden.
However, others did. Naruto, Gaara, Karin, Juugo (she supposed), and now this new man. They saw him and fell in love with him all the same.
They embraced his alluring darkness and could also easily see his light.
In so many ways, Sasuke was a Sun, too, and now Sakura understood why she had been no match for him and no match for those other people who had loved him and that he had loved back, one way or another.
"I told you all of this because I wanted to strengthen our bond and trust in each other," Sasuke said carefully, apparently almost done with his vomit of information. "But this conversation also has a purpose, and it's meant to help us decide where to go from here."
"Because you want to go and live your fairytale love story with another man freely?" The words left Sakura's mouth unexpectedly before she could stop herself, but Sasuke didn't even seem offended. "I'm sorry, I'm overwhelmed by all of this."
"It's fine," he assured her, and even though he wasn't smiling, there was an amused glint in his eye. Even that seemed different about him. He didn't seem upset, not regretting the things he told her. In fact, he seemed at peace, relaxed, and open for conversation—he had been from the start.
Chewing on her lower lip, Sakura crossed her arms over her chest, feeling as cold as her untouched tea surely was. Hesitantly, she asked, "Sasuke-kun, do you... prefer men?"
Sasuke showed no signs of being affected by the question, but he snorted, a giveaway that this wasn't the first time he was asked this.
"I don't know, maybe," he indulged with a simple shrug, again surprising her with his genuine answer. "It's not something I waste time thinking about. So far, yes, I've been considerably more attracted to men than women, so you can take that whichever way you prefer."
"I suppose you're hoping for a divorce, then?" Sakura asked, voicing what she knew he would approach at some point. She still didn't know how she felt about it, though.
"I told you my secrets and informed you about my plans for the future," he said gently, not missing a beat. "Things between you and me will not advance further than this, but we are friends and we will always be family. My life, however, is not getting any easier, and with how much I have around me, sooner or later I will go my way. I just want you to have a say in this."
It was difficult for Sakura to deal with this Sasuke, even if he was easier to talk to and as expectedly blunt as usual. It made her emotional in ways she couldn't explain, and she felt such immense relief that he was opening up to her and that he didn't seem to take her comebacks in a hostile way, but all of this came with such a heavy price that she didn't really know what to do with herself.
She didn't even know her own feelings or how to feel about him or any of this.
"I don't understand how when you've made your next steps very clear to me already," she said, knowing she sounded bitter and hurt but not caring.
"I respect you and know that you have put a lot of yourself into this," Sasuke explained, still very soothingly, as if it would reassure her. "I'm trying to give you a choice. You can be free of the burden of being my wife and Sarada's mother if you want. It's not your obligation, and I don't want you to stall your life out of your self-imposed obligation."
Sakura all but stared at Sasuke, unable to process what he was telling her. In fact, she couldn't believe that she had heard it. "The burden of being your wife and Sarada's mother?" She repeated it as if the words were foreign to her. "What's that supposed to mean? Surely you're not thinking about taking Sarada away from me?"
"If that's your choice, I..."
"You will not do such a thing!" Sakura yelled, standing up in outrage and frankly livid with fear and anger. She pointed her finger at Sasuke, whose eyebrows arched in surprise, clearly not expecting her reaction—hell, even she didn't expect to feel such strong emotions in the middle of all the mess, but she was seeing red. "I dare you to do it! I will never forgive you if you take Sarada away from me! She's my child! I took care of her; I raised her! I love her! She's my child; she's my everything! How can you possibly have the audacity to even suggest ...
"I didn't mean to offend you! I was just putting the option on the table, so please calm down." Sasuke tried to placate her, standing up as well and gesturing with his hand carefully for her to sit back down. "I won't take her away, Sakura, of course not."
Sakura's eyes were wide as she stared at the man threateningly. "Swear it," she demanded coldly, seething. "Swear that you won't ever take her away."
"I swear it," Sasuke said, seriously. "You're her mother after all, and I'm glad that it is so. I wouldn't do anything to destroy the bond you have. I promise."
Silently, he gestured to her seat again, elegantly, gently, and Sakura all but took a deep breath through her nose before nodding and sitting back down.
She had not expected the surge of anger and fear that had gripped her heart at the mere prospect of losing Sarada. The child may not be her biological daughter, but they were a family. She had fallen in love with her from the moment she laid eyes on her, and the first time she held her, she knew she would care about her and protect her as if she were her flesh and blood.
They were mother and daughter. Sarada made her life infinitely better and gave her strength. Losing her was not an ,
The thought alone was inconceivable.
Despite how heavy the whole conversation was, this was Sakura's breaking point as she felt her emotions overflow and her eyes sting. Tears were rolling helplessly down her cheek before she could stop them, a painful sob escaping her chest.
Sasuke's regret was instant and clear in his voice. "Sakura, I'm sorry."
"Were you testing me?" She threw a hiccup, looking at him accusingly.
"Of course not! I was just… I don't know; I just wanted to give you an option but that was insensitive of me," Sasuke explained, and he looked and sounded so genuinely guilty that Sakura could only huff, her heart idiotically softened by it.
Sasuke actually got up and walked around the table to take a seat on the chair next to her. He turned his body toward her so that his knees touched her thighs. The action and his unexpected proximity were surprising and Sakura found herself a little uncomfortable, not knowing how to interpret it or react to it.
Carefully, Sasuke reached out to her to wipe a tear from her cheek. She jolted, completely unprepared for the caring touch of fingers, and he quickly withdrew his hand, misinterpreting her body language.
She was shocked, yet happy, but could not muster up the courage to clarify that she wanted the affection—she couldn't risk him thinking she was taking advantage of him.
They stared at each other with uncertainty for a few seconds before Sasuke finally spoke again. "I'm really sorry, Sakura. I didn't mean to offend you in any way."
"She's… Sarada is my daughter." Sakura mumbled, sniffing and shifting a little, unaccustomed to him being so close. "If there is one thing that I can possibly ask of you, it is that this doesn't change."
"You have my word, Sakura," he assured her, with a convincing nod. "She is yours and always will be, and I'm happy we both agree on that."
Again, with the unexpected kindness and nice words.
Sakura could only blush frustratingly. She wiped her tears with her hands. "Do you want a divorce, then?"
"I want what's best for you and Sarada," he said with well-chosen words. "But I can't live this charade forever; it's not right for either of us. I'm living my own life, but I know you would be put in a delicate position at this point. I don't want to hurt you, so I want you to tell me what you want to do. My life isn't getting any easier with Naruto becoming Hokage, and I will probably be more absent than I have until now. Also, with the village, my son and... well, everything else."
"I don't mind being married to you and supporting you with whatever you need," Sakura responded, her voice laced with a mix of resignation and determination. "I'd rather Sarada grows up believing she has a family for the time being, and later down the road, when she is old enough to work through it and understand, we can find an excuse that she can work with."
"Alright, if that's what you want," Sasuke agreed, relief evident in his voice. "Don't be sad, Sakura," he added softly, reaching out to gently squeeze her hand. This time, she didn't jolt.
"I'm not sad; I'm just..." Sakura trailed off, struggling to articulate the whirlwind of emotions within her. "I'm grateful that you told me about your life—things not even Naruto knows. I just… I guess I don't know how to feel about who you are anymore, about us. I just...
"I know," Sasuke interrupted, his voice gentle yet firm. "I'm sorry things got to this point. I hope you can let me make it up to you to the best of my abilities, not exactly as a husband, but at least as your friend and your family."
"I'd like that, I think," Sakura responded, her voice barely above a whisper. "We're family. You can trust me. You always could."
"I know," Sasuke repeated, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "Sakura, don't take this the wrong way, please," he continued, his expression earnest. "But I think you should find yourself a lover."
"You talk as if it's that simple," Sakura said, with an ironic snort. "I've been so focused on you all along, and putting up the role of the good, faithful wife, because that's what I want, and that's the life I want to have as a mother, in a family."
"I'm not saying it's easy. I'm just telling you to open up your heart to different people and look at love from a different perspective," Sasuke explained. "It's fine if you tell people I suck as a husband and have a small dick; I don't mind," he added with a wry grin.
"Do you?" Sakura questioned, a flicker of amusement in her eyes, recognizing his effort to lighten the mood.
"Too much detail in the conversation," Sasuke said, shaking his head with a smirk. "But no, not exactly."
"Well, at least someone out there is happy about it," Sakura remarked, rolling her eyes sarcastically.
Sasuke chuckled, and his smile was so beautiful Sakura could only stare at his handsome face, her emotional exhaustion making her feel tired and mesmerized.
Was this the moment things changed between them? Would she finally be the recipient of this gorgeous smile from now on?
"Listen, you are a beautiful, powerful woman, Sakura, and you've achieved so much," Sasuke said earnestly, his gaze on her unwavering. "You think too lowly of yourself."
"I don't actually," Sakura responded honestly, shrugging. "I know I'm not ugly, and I do have admirers. I actually had quite a few proposals before all of this happened but I was stupid enough to believe that you would love me."
"I do love you," Sasuke interjected, his voice soft yet resolute. "Just not as your lover."
"You never even gave me a chance," Sakura retorted, her frustration obvious in her voice, and yet she had kept the yearning hidden. "It doesn't matter anyway. I understand it now and I respect that."
It was true. Even if she would have to work through her feelings for him from now on and understand who she was and what she wanted if not him, this was the sad yet also happy end of a cycle.
To emphasize her genuine feelings, she finally squeezed his hand.
Sasuke smiled again. "I think we've talked about it before, but it doesn't exactly happen the way you think it does," he explained cautiously. "You deserve to be flirted with, to go through the stages of blossoming feelings, to have your own fairytale romance and be made love to, to be appreciated and wanted. That's how it's supposed to go."
"I don't believe that all love stories happen like that," Sakura countered, her voice tinged with skepticism. "But what do I know, right?"
"Some people make it work with time and patience. Not all love stories need to be fireworks and explosions," Sasuke agreed, his tone measured yet earnest. "But it takes two people to want to make it work and a mutual level of commitment and desire. If you have to work hard to make someone else want you, then there's a problem already, Sakura. One person alone cannot love enough for both parties. You'll just be depleted, as you already are."
"I suppose I can't argue with that," Sakura conceded, heaving a resigned sigh.
"There's nothing like the feeling of being wanted by someone you want," Sasuke continued sincerely, like a big brother explaining things to their younger sibling—it was actually endearing and very ironic. "To look at someone and know they want you, feel it in the air, and feel it in every touch and every word. It's such a unique experience, albeit frustrating sometimes, but it's how it's supposed to go. You'll know it in your gut and in every cell of your body. When you finally kiss someone you want and feel they want you back and the desire burns, it's one of the most exhilarating feelings in the world. The sex will feel as it's supposed to feel. And you should feel it. That's what you should look for."
"You should know, right?" Sakura quipped, not without a hint of sadness. "Is that how it was with Naruto? With this new guy?"
"In different ways, I suppose so," Sasuke admitted, a hint of amusement in his voice. "But Sakura, I'm serious and I want what's best for you. Look for something real. You'll know it when it arrives." He paused thoughtfully before adding, "I have a feeling it'll happen soon enough."
"What do you mean?" Sakura questioned, caught off guard because she had literally no clue what the man was talking about.
"Just a hunch," Sasuke responded cryptically with a knowing smirk.
Another moment of silence stretched out between them, but this time, it brushed away the beginnings of comfort. Sasuke's hand in Sakura's was warm and grounding and everything but romantic, but the things he conveyed through his touch alone were reassuring and open, significant, and so much more than he'd given her in years.
It promised mutual companionship, understanding, and trust.
This was his love for her. His actions, his confessions, him closing all types of distance between them—that was love.
You see? Sasuke's expression said. This is important. This we can have.
And even with Sakura's emotional turmoil and her confused feelings, she conceded that this was nice and that it would have to be enough.
She still had so much to learn and so much to come to terms with.
Squeezing his hand as if she didn't want to let go, she understood that, of course, she still loved him and always would. Regardless, as highly as she thought of herself, she knew that who Sasuke was, the type of world he lived in and the life he wanted to lead were not things she could accept as a woman. She had her own dreams and her own notions of love and family, and Sasuke was right—she deserved all of it. She should not fight for a hopeless love story with him when, in the end, she would always be on the losing end, never reaching the type of life she wanted.
And that was fine.
"Damn it, I'm tired," Sakura remarked with a small laugh, exhaustion seeping into her voice.
"My fault," Sasuke conceded, a hint of remorse in his tone.
"No, it's fine," Sakura reassured him with a dismissive gesture. "Thank you for telling me everything and making me part of your life. It means a lot to me."
"Of course," Sasuke replied, with a genuine warmth in his tone. "It couldn't be any other way. We'll figure this out together."
For the first time, she knew it to be true.
000
As Sakura descended the stairs the next morning, the soft murmur of voices reached her ears, drawing her towards the kitchen.
She hadn't slept much; the previous night's events were fresh in her mind as she worked through her emotions and organized her priorities inside her mind.
It was daunting to realize how long it had been since she truly thought about herself and what she wanted when Sasuke wasn't involved. It was as if a whole new world stretched out before her and it had been a grieving yet liberating process.
Despite this, she woke up feeling cleansed and resolute.
So much clarity had fallen upon her.
As she stepped into the kitchen, a delicious aroma greeted her senses, mingling with the hushed conversation between Sasuke and Naruto. Their backs were turned to her as they stood by the counter, and their heads were bowed close together as they worked on preparing coffee. They didn't seem to be talking about anything in particular, but from their relaxed demeanors, it was clear that they were content basking in each other's company.
Sakura lingered in the doorway for a moment, watching the scene before her with a mixture of emotions swirling in her chest. Despite the ache of the previous night's revelations, there was a sense of comfort in the sight of her two closest friends standing side by side. It filled her heart with joy and love.
It was such a pure, unexplainable love that she had for those two that she knew deep within her soul that she would always stand beside them and protect them and their bond no matter what.
Tears pricked her eyes, but they were of joy.
She wished that things could fall into place someday. Hopefully, this was just the beginning.
Naruto's voice rose slightly, breaking the quiet of the room, and Sakura's attention snapped back to the present. Her two friends had turned and were looking at her, probably wondering why she was standing there.
They looked stunning, grown up, and just there.
It was the first time that it truly hit her how much time had passed and how much they had changed—all of them.
"Sakura-chan, good morning!" Naruto said, rubbing the back of his head a little sheepishly. "Did you sleep well?"
Sasuke looked calm yet serious—he could see that she was fighting with herself.
"I… yes, thank you," she mumbled.
And then Naruto was saying something, apologizing for his behavior the night before, his words laced with genuine remorse.
She couldn't even make sense of what he was saying. Her initial instinct was to brush off Naruto's apology, to reassure him that his words and actions hadn't caused any harm. But as she watched the earnestness in his expression, she realized that it was more than just a simple apology for a drunken slip-up.
A surge of emotion welled up inside Sakura, threatening to spill over.
Would she ever forgive herself for having hurt them? Would they forgive themselves for not having been honest from the start?
In times like this, it felt as if it didn't matter, anyway. Destiny had taken over, and it didn't matter the things they had done wrong—the three of them had definitely received karmic retribution.
With a shaky breath, she took a step forward, crossing the distance between them in a few swift strides.
"Sasuke-kun, Naruto," she said softly, her voice barely above a whisper. "It's okay. Really."
Her words hung in the air for a moment, and from their matching expressions of understanding, they knew what she was alluding to.
Then, without another thought, Sakura threw caution to the wind and wrapped her arms around both of them in a tight embrace.
They were so much taller than her and seemingly so much stronger.
"I'm sorry," she murmured, her voice choking with emotion. "It's alright. I'm so sorry..."
It didn't matter if she didn't explain why she was apologizing, because they knew.
And the way the two of them hugged her back, without judgment and filled with reassurance, told her everything she needed to know.
"We're sorry, too, Sakura-chan," Naruto mumbled, placing a small, chaste kiss on the top of her head.
"It's alright," Sasuke said soothingly in her ear. "It's over."
In that moment, as they stood together in the warmth of the kitchen, surrounded by the comforting aroma of freshly brewed coffee, Sakura felt a glimmer of hope flicker to life within her heart.
It was over, and they would all be fine.
TBC…
I hope you liked the chapter!
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If you have any suggestions, headcanons, songs that remind you of the fic, fanart, anything at all, please don't hesitate to share!
Next chapter will have another time skip, and hopefully I'll be able to work on it ASAP.
See y'all soon!
Lots of love ;)