The Confession
I'm finally, finally, back! Was in the middle of moving and I apologize for the long wait, but I'm finally to a point where I am able to write again.
I hope you enjoy this long chapter. I apologize for the length, but believe me, I did hold back twitchy fingers and omitted several paragraphs. Also please forgive the errors you may come across, I wrote this rather fast so I could post it sooner and my brain was absolutely fried by the end of it.
Please note: Like I have said before, please don't expect sunshine and rainbows, beers and skittles, apple pies and Impalas etc. As a fair warning, there is not an abundance of mush or comforting aspects in this particular chapter – emotions are running high and human beings aren't always pretty when fear and danger are involved. If you prefer Sam and Dean to be gentle and tender all the time, this probably is not be the story for you.
Welcome new readers!
Warning: There is talk of disciplinary spanking of a minor (13-year-old) with a belt. There is swearing. As always, if this offends you in anyway or puts you off, don't read.
Ellie was absolutely floored with fear as she stared up at the furious man, her wide horror-stricken eyes appearing aghast with panic looking as if Dean had just asked her to jump off a cliff rather than just own up to where she got the satanic book. Ellie was now faced with the worst possible outcome her young mind could've fathomed and it was damn near scaring the shit out of her. Not only had Dean found everything she was concealing, but now he was asking her directly to confess and Ellie knew, without a shadow of a doubt, the two Hunters were going to want to know every damning detail of her escapade, details that Ellie was certain would have her cast aside or, worse, flat-out hated for even thinking of meddling with witchcraft.
If knowing she had snuck out against a direct order to steal a Grimoire wasn't bad enough, the Hunters were going to find out about the countless lies and shameful lengths of deception she resorted to days before and the worst part of it all was the dreadful anticipation of them wanting to know why. She was in the deepest shit of her young life and, at the moment, Ellie would rather face a horde of werewolves then face the two Winchester brothers with what she had done.
Feeling her heart rate elevate rapidly with a frantic panic, the young teen, unable to help herself with the impending doom that awaited her, cut her wide eyes to the entrance archway on the other side of the room, that happened to sit just over Dean's left shoulder. Ellie's eyes quickly darted back to the man's scowling features, a revealing glimmer of desperation lining her pale expression.
Not expecting that level of bold rashness from the teenager, Dean's muscles tensed in preparation as his green eyes visibly widened and flashed with expressive outrage at the girl's audacity to even think of making a break for it. Before Ellie had a chance to give into another reckless impulse, Dean instantly released his hold on the back of the chair and straightened his posture. Without taking his penetrating gaze off the teenager for a second, he calmly, but purposefully sidestepped to the left side of the high back chair positioning his imposing physic just enough so his broad frame blocked her view of the entrance archway.
"You take just one freaking step towards that door, kid, and I promise you, your ass will be over my knee faster than you can even blink. Is that the way you want to start this conversation? Bent over my knee?" Dean challenged, his deep guttural vocals vibrating sternly against his chest fully prepared to show the kid what playing 'fuck around and find out' would get her. If she wanted to play stupid games with him, she was going to win stupid prizes and Dean, at the moment, wasn't all that choked up about dishing out a well-deserved butt whooping to the reckless teenager who had left the safety of the hotel room.
A rushing gasp heaved up into her throat as a harsh blossom of dread spread within her petite chest at Dean's stern declaration making Ellie visibly gulp down a wad of saliva believing wholeheartedly that Dean would follow through on that, completely ridding her of that stupid and impulsive thought embarrassingly quick. Feeling her complexion flush profusely with embarrassment at the man's 'promise', Ellie turned her head to the side casting her attention downward towards the thin grey carpet.
"No, sir." Ellie mumbled meekly, clear guilt and shame lining her humbled tone as her young facial features became wilted in defeat and embarrassment.
She knew she was already in for it big time and the tacking on of an additional ass whooping for trying to make a break for it sounded like a horrible way to start a conversation and with Dean looking like he was about to burst a blood vessel at any moment, Ellie wisely concluded she didn't have a chance in hell of getting away with anything. Hell, she was afraid to sneeze wrong.
Dean huffed out a frustrated waft of air through his nostrils fighting on the edge of his patience not to just throw her over his knee and implement a newfound commitment in her to be the most obedient little angel that ever walked God's green earth.
"Where did you get this book?" Dean repeated, his heavy words coming out tight and tense in a repressed tone of fiery indignation as he pointed a stiff finger to the Grimoire on the table in front of her.
By this point, Ellie knew there was no way of getting around it. She was caught and she if she didn't fess up now, she would be in danger of getting very sore, very fast. No matter how much she did not want to reveal the truth about her deceptions towards them, she knew they were going to make her, one way or another, and natural common sense and self-preservation told her she wanted to postpone going across the peeved Hunters lap for as long as possible. Therefore, Ellie decided it was best to come clean about her adventure before all hell broke loose on her and she ended up in far more trouble than she already was. Not to mention, there was no small part of her that, unwittingly, desired relief from the burden of carrying her secrets. It was hell living with her shameful deception and her young heart was suffering from her lies.
"From Pastor Jim's lock-up location." Ellie mumbled her confession through tight reluctant lips, keeping her eyes locked on the floor to her right not feeling brave enough to witness their reaction to her shocking transgression.
"You stole it?" Sam's voice piped up in disbelief, an afflicted shock of disappointment lining his tone making Ellie's face muscles grimace into shame-ridden expression. The man sounded genuinely shocked, if not a little hurt, that she would do something so wrong and that sent an unexpected ache constricting around her guilty heart.
Ellie nodded once slowly feeling her neck muscles strain in natural resistance not wanting to admit her shameful deed. Despite her teenage desire to mention that she technically just 'borrowed' it, as she had the full intention of eventually giving it back, she wisely decided to keep that little tidbit to herself knowing she would get very little, if any, understanding from the Hunters on that. And Ellie knew, deep down, no matter how much she wanted to sugar coat it and make her transgression seem less than what it was, there was no denying the facts. She took it without permission and broke into the church without the man's knowledge. In short, Sam was right. She stole it.
Dean felt his teeth grit and his jaw muscles bulge with tension making the rigid lines in his heated expression become sharper and more pronounced. Dean's lips thinned into a hard line of angry disappointment and bafflement.
"Lock-up locations are locked up for a reason, Elena. There is some very dangerous shit in lock-up locations reserved for Hunters and Hunters, only. And is no place for thirteen-year-old little girls to go snooping around in, let alone take something as dangerous as a freaking Grimoire without permission. You know better than that. I know you know better than that." Dean reproached, his stern tone laced with heated frustration, absolutely astounded by Ellie's recklessness. Although only thirteen, Ellie was a Hunter's kid and Dean was damn near certain she was well aware of the risks, which made it all the more infuriatingly alarming that she would willingly do something so dangerous and wrong. Not to mention, it was just plain stupid.
"When the hell did you sneak off on this little adventure of yours? In the middle of the freaking night?" Dean questioned, biting off his words heatedly, offhandedly thinking that perhaps she had left while they were asleep, like she did last time she took off on them.
Ellie felt a knock of anxious heat flick against her tight chest at the question. A sinking dread began to weigh her body down, making her limbs feel unnervingly heavy, as she knew they were about to find out about her manipulative deception. Feeling her heavy muscles strain with resistance, Ellie stiffly shook her head slowly from side to side, almost unnoticeably, but Dean's keen eyes caught the subtle gesture and it was only then, did the terrible realization hit Dean like a swift smack across the face.
"When we went to that freaking clinic." Dean declared evenly, his deep telling tone indicating with certainty that he had got it right. The angry flame that was burning in his gut began to sputter and pulse with growing aggravation as it dawned on him that not only had Ellie took off and broke into Jim's lock-up location to steal a heinous Grimoire, which was bad enough in itself, but she calculatingly and deliberately seized the opportunity to take off when they gave her that window of trust to be alone for that one hour. The one time, they gave her an element of trust, the rash teenager exploited it. It was like a swift kick in the gut and Dean felt his trust in her vanish, like a spirit being salted and burned into oblivion.
"After I specifically ordered you to keep your ass in the room, you still snuck out behind our backs, didn't you?!" Dean ranted fervently and loudly, feeling the weight of betrayal and outrage strike his flexed chest as he spoke the words aloud feeling his palms ich with a twitchy need to spank her reckless ass into next week.
Ellie felt her nerves shake wildly at the man's bellowing voice that was deepened at a daunting level, leaving no doubt in Ellie's mind that he was beyond furious with her. A rawness began to scratch at her throat as the guilt pressed heavily against her shoulders making them draw inwardly in a shrinking manner.
"Is that true, young lady?" Sam's firm voice demanded; his tone lined with a personal affliction and hurt as he was the one who advocated for her to stay behind to recuperate, insisting they could trust her. Despite Sam already knowing it to be true, he still wanted to hear it from her own lips.
Ellie's face muscles winced into a shame filled frown feeling a disheartened moan of guilt and distress wanting to vibrate against her throat as the hurt and disbelief in Sam's disappointed tone was damn near torturous. Despite taking no pleasure in it, there was no denying she used his care for her and kind-hearted disposition against him. And although there was a dire reason at the time to save Dean's life, the fact remained that reason never came to pass and, now, it appeared she had stabbed them in the back, lied to them, and disobeyed them for absolutely no reason at all. It seemed that not only were her efforts all in vain, but it proved to cause a significant amount of damage in its wake making it, in short, a total failure, needless and overwhelmingly disappointing.
Unable to formulate any words, Ellie simply nodded her head once in shameful affirmation, selfishly keeping her eyes averted from the man, sparing herself the added torment it would bring her to see the disappointment in the man's eyes.
"And was that just a big old 'screw you' to Sam and I? Or do you just have this burning need to put your life in danger every freaking month?" Dean demanded in heated frustration; his tone cross and terse.
Dipping her head lower in shame, Ellie purposefully shielded her face under the shadow of her navy cap's brim, resorting back to her masking tactics to hide her emotions from the prying man knowing he was getting dangerously close to the questions she couldn't answer. Not to mention, she simply wanted to spare herself the dreadful discomfort of being the target of the Hunter's daunting scowl which seemed to be boring straight into her vulnerable heart.
However, this only seemed to further Dean's outrage and found his raw nerves being to seared with a newfound aggravation as the girl, unknowingly, reminded him of one of the ways she managed to pull off her reckless stunt in the first place.
"Take that damn hat off and answer me!" Dean snapped with a fiery urgency, his voice severe with personal offense causing Ellie's chest to heave up in a startled gasp as she immediately reached up to quickly comply with his order, plucking her concealing garment off her head like her ass depended on it because it sure as hell did.
Still keeping her head down and her eyes averted to the floor in front of her, Ellie twisted and fidgeted with her hat in her hands getting out some pent-up jittery energy which was severely raddled by the man's booming voice. However, it would seem simply having it off her head was not good enough for Dean, and the man having no patience for small annoyances, abruptly set his feet into motion stomping around the table towards Ellie.
Ellie's heart shot up into her throat, wedging her breath in the back of her gullet as her limbs flinched inward causing all the fibers in her muscles to grow incredibly rigid, anticipating that Dean was going to turn her over his knee and let her have right then. However, the man's intended target was not the girl's backside at the moment, it was her cursed hat.
After just two stomping strides around the kitchen table, Dean reach his long arm out and grabbed a hold of the offensive garment snatching it briskly out of the girl's clutching fingers.
With the brim firmly grasped between his strong fingers, the fed-up man swiftly flung it under-hand across his rigid body like a frisbee, carelessly chucking it across the room and discarding it like it had personally offended him because it damn well did. Dean made up his mind right then and there that she would no longer get the luxury and comfort of hiding under it any more. She sneakily used it as manipulative tool to conceal her lies from them and Dean was just about ready to salt and burn the damn thing from existence.
With wide shocked eyes, Ellie watched her hat fly across the room landing on the small desk to the left of the bathroom door before cutting her eyes back to Dean's rigid scowl which appeared downright murderous. Ellie's wide eyes flashed in disturbance before immediately directing her gaze to the man's muddy boots which, all things considered, was a far more bearable sight.
"You gonna answer me?" Dean prompted, his deep guttural vocals coming from his chest tense and demanding.
"It-it wasn't like that." Ellie assured meekly to Dean's muddy brown boots, feeling her body close in on itself protectively as Dean's heavy and daunting presence was pressing down on her like a crushing weight.
"Then tell me, Ellie because I'm just dying to know why the hell you blatantly disobeyed a direct order and left the security of the room when you know damn well how dangerous it is for you to be out on your own. And all for the reason to break into Jim's lock-up location to steal a satanic book?!" Dean's livid voice was elevating with each word he spoke, feeling his frustration and outrage intensify as he attempted to wrap his frantic mind around something so foolish and, seemingly, needless.
"You're a Hunter's kid. You're not this stupid. I know, you know how dangerous and evil this book is!" Dean declared harshly, having no intention of lowering his voice to a comforting level for the teenager as there was nothing 'comforting' to be had pretraining to the satanic book Ellie had stollen.
Being the hardened and practiced Hunter he was knew that the supernatural powers within the book's pages were immeasurably dark. This was not just your everyday kind of 'evil' she had snuck away in her bag. This wasn't just some confused wrathful spirit who no longer had the will to control themselves or some ravenous monster driven by hunger. This was devious, specific, and grossly malevolent, all driven for the mere pleasure and purpose of causing vile destruction and heinous atrocities. The worst kind of evil known in the Hunting world and the fact that Ellie had the damn nerve to even touch it, let along, take it into her possession was not only shockingly disturbing, but highly offensive on an extremely personal level to the seasoned Hunter who prided himself on ending the sick sons of bitches who reveled in it.
"Why the hell would you steal it?" Dean grilled in a demanding tone, his deep voice elevated with a livid and biting aggravation.
Dean's mind whirled with disturbance and frustration as he tried to wrap his mind around the possible reasons Ellie would have to deliberately seek out a Grimoire. Was it for kicks, just to see if she could? Some sort of fucked up adrenaline rush playing 'adult Hunter'? Was it in direct defiance of him? Or was it, he even dared to imagine, to try it out for the impulsive thrill? That would be outrageously absurd and wildly out of character for her and Dean just couldn't imagine Ellie being that stupid. She was not a clueless civilian kid who was blissfully ignorant to the evils of this world. She knew what she snuck away in her bag was dangerously evil at a detrimental and supernatural level and was not to be carried around like some harmless library book.
Whatever her reason may be, Dean couldn't think of one damn reason that was good enough for him.
Ellie's petite frame visibly stiffened into a statue-like state, not twitching a muscle out of place, as her body swarmed with an overwhelming panic. Despite her knowing that the question was coming, that did not make it any less dreadful to finally hear it demanded upon her.
The grave desire to make a break for it flooded back into her frazzled mind desperately, but Ellie, despite the evidence to the contrary, wasn't stupid, she knew she wouldn't get even two steps before the brawny Hunter would stop her. Then she was sure he would let her have it, big time. Yet, if she admitted she stole the Grimoire for the purpose of looking into black magic to save his life, she ran the severe risk of the Hunters loathing her or worse pinning her as a freak, comparable to the supernatural creatures that they hunted and killed. And if they knew that, well, that was just a step closer to them possibly finding out about her blood connection to witchcraft. Despite knowing Sam and Dean were good men and, undoubtably, cared for her to some extent, that did not mean they would take kindly to her looking into black magic for whatever reason. In fact, Ellie was certain they would not take kindly to it, but just how 'not kind' they would be about it, Ellie did not know and that was damn near scaring the ever-loving shit out of her.
"I just asked you a damn question, young lady." Dean admonished sharply feeling a gave annoyance heating up his already aggravated nerves as his stiff brow indented further into his hard expression.
"Either you answer me upright or you answer me bent over with one hell of a sore ass, but either way this plays out kid, you're gonna answer me." Dean declared with a firm resolve laying it out clearly for Ellie to understand that she did not get the choice to remain silent any longer. Saying he was tired of the secrets, the countless lies, and the sneaky evasions to, any and all, the questions they asked her was the understatement of the century.
Ellie's spastic nerves were shaking wildly in her gut bring out a frantic and familiar desire within her to just make up a lie and pray, by some miracle, she would be believed. Although resorting back to deception was gravely temping in this moment of desperation, Ellie had a wise, gut, feeling that Sam and Dean would be able to detect her deception without much effort and with her confidence severely shattered by their discovery, Ellie was not at her 'A' game to say the least. And despite Ellie's preference to be thrown in a room with an angry spirit rather than reveal her disturbing reason for stealing the book, there was a part of her that simply couldn't lie anymore as her guilt-ridden heart would not allow it. So rather than resort to lying, Ellie gave into the next desperate approach she could think of – begging.
"Please, I-I can't tell you. I just can't." Ellie expressed with severe reluctance and turmoil; her voice weighted in desperation and distress as she continued to stare at the dingy grey carpet below Dean's muddy boots.
"I'm not giving you a choice, kid." Dean declared stonily blunt ridding her of the idea that she had any other option then to just tell him the truth. What sympathies Dean might have had for her discomfort and obvious distress, was all thrown out the window the second he found that damn book hidden in her backpack. According to Dean's way of thinking, the girl did not get to decide what she did not want to tell him anymore. The man no longer just wanted answers, he demanded them. He was done pussyfooting around and catering to her 'discomfort' involving her secrets. His tolerance had been severely tested beyond his limits to the point where a familiar tough-minded mentality began to take hold of him reducing him back to the basic survival tactics and instincts that were instilled in him at a young age which proved to keep those he loved breathing. No matter how unfair or grim it was, the harsh reality was that just one mistake, one wrong move, could be enough to cost little wayward teenager her life and Dean wasn't about to accept that with any ounce of his being.
Ellie could feel tears beginning to burn the lining of her esophagus and prickle around her eye sockets. Pressing her red tinted lips tightly together, Ellie felt a severe hesitancy pulling against her stiffened muscles as a sense of hopelessness began to sink her heart.
There was a long beat of uncomfortable silence as Dean stared down at the top of the young girl's dipped head, a stony expression of rigid resolve chiseled into his masculine features as he waited, with no amount of sympathetic patience, for her to open her mouth and confess.
Reality was about to hit her like a freight train and Dean had no intention of soften the blow her actions had brought her. Consequences in the Hunting world harsh and unforgiving and she wasn't going to learn a damn thing by him downplaying the seriousness of it all.
Dean's teeth gritted feeling a spike of annoyance shoot up his spin as he worked, with a considerable amount of effort, to suppress his fuming temper. With his posture rigid, Dean stiffly turned and walked away from the girl causing Ellie's lips to part a touch as both relief and confusion washed over her paled features. However, whatever brush of foolish relief she felt was quickly replaced with utter dread as she watched Dean grab ahold of the top of the high back chair and pulled it away from the table. With the unnerving silence that filled the room, the friction of the black metal feet that dragged against the tense fibers of the grey carpeting seemed ominously loud as Dean hauled it a couple feet away from the pale-yellow table top giving him ample room for his intentions.
Knowing very well the man's purpose for moving the chair, Ellie felt a childlike panic zap her nerves sending a harsh sense of distress through her body, completely aware that she was less than thirty seconds away from receiving the licking of the century.
Ellie felt her face muscles scrunch up into a pitiful grimace as she watched Dean place his palms on his knees and lower his backside down into the green floral seat cushion. With his masculine features hardened into a serious expression, the man spread his legs into a wide stance before propping his palm stiffly onto his jean covered thigh making his elbow point slightly outward as he hunched his posture forward a bit in a misleading casual manner. The sleeves of his army green button-up were rolled up just before his elbows, like always, displaying the muscles in bare forearms which were bulging with tension as his black Smith and Wesson watch, wrapped securely around his left wrist, stood out distinctly against the man's skin. The treasured amulet that hung around his neck swung away from him a bit, dangling away from his black cotton t-shirt which was crinkled slightly against his tight abdomen.
Giving the girl a pointed and expressive look of stern disapproval, Dean waited another beat in hopes she would break her stubborn resolve and just open her damn mouth, but it seemed that was not enough for the girl's iron-will. Dean inwardly scoffed and shook his head in irritated confoundment absolutely amazed at her insistence on making things hard for herself. With a firm determination indented into his features and his stiff palm pressed into his thigh, Dean lift his other arm and wagged a single curled finger toward himself in a brisk beckoning motion silently ordering Ellie to bring herself over to him.
Childish fear getting the better of the teenager, Ellie foolishly shook her head slowly from side to side, expressing her severe reluctance to come anywhere in the peeved man's vicinity. As far as Ellie was concerned, China wouldn't be far enough.
Dean's frown deepened feeling a heavy weight of fierce annoyance weigh down against his tense muscles as he dropped his bare forearm to rest idlily on his thigh. With the muscles in his chest flexed in vexation, Dean dipped his cleft chin down and leveled a piercingly sharp gaze on the teenager.
"You want me to come get you?" Dean challenged; his deep baritone voice rumbling out dauntingly stern giving off every suggestion that making him get up was not a wise choice.
Feeling a whine of self-pity wanting to rumble up her throat, Ellie scrunched up her face into a reluctant pout, the lines in her youthful expression crinkled with worry and guilt as she forced her straining limbs out of their frozen state. Feeling like weights were attached around her ancles, Ellie shuffled her feet slowly around the kitchen table. However, whether it was self-preservation or a childlike need to stall the inevitable, Ellie only managed to make it just past the rounded corner of the chrome pleated edge on the other side of the kitchen table. Ellie sidestepped slightly until her back was in line with the table, purposefully putting herself out of the man's immediate reach.
"Please, I-I didn't do it because I wanted to disobey you. I-I swear." Ellie confessed imploringly as she fidgeted and picked at her nails squirming and shifting on her feet in an anxious manner.
Dean's hard green eyes squinted ever so slightly, not quite sure if he believed her or not. Although she seemed genuine, Dean was not inclined to trust the deceptive girl anytime soon. In fact, he probably would have better luck trusting a Wendigo at this point.
"Did stealing this book have anything to do with the demons hunting Caleb? About that 'spell' you were talking to him about on the phone?" Sam pressed firmly as he took a step closer to her settling his boot between Dean and the kitchen table angling his tall toned physic towards Ellie in a direct manner.
Snapping her attention towards Sam, Ellie quickly shook her head in denial, eager to get him off that logical theory. Although it did cross her mind to possibly use the Grimoire to look for the blood spell to help her uncle, Ellie was in no way prepared to admit that. Despite it being technically true, her ultimate goal in getting the Grimoire was to spare Dean's life, and that hail Mary wish was just an afterthought after Dean was healed. And truth be told, after the events of this Hunt with Sue Ann meeting her demise, there was a severe and fitting reluctance in her heart towards the idea.
"No-No, sir." Ellie answered swiftly, a touch of urgency lining her tone making Sam's bridged brow crinkle in mistrust as he narrowed his eyes slightly at the teenager. Although she overall seemed sincere, the man had every reason in the world to doubt the deceitful teenager who betrayed their trust and was more encouraged than ever to trust his own instincts and intuition from now on. The burning sting of disregard and betrayed was painfully raw and it hurt Sam's heart far more then he anticipated the young teenager could.
"Then why did you steal the freaking book?" Dean demanded sternly biting off each word with an irritated impatience causing Ellie chest to tighten as she jerked her attention back towards Dean, a worried and panic-filled expression paling her young features.
"Are you telling us it was just for kicks?" Dean pressed appalled at the disturbing idea that it was possibly for 'shits and giggles', if it wasn't for hunting purposes.
"No, sir." Ellie assured quickly a growing distress coming out of her timid tone feeling her resolve tier under the intense pressure of it all.
"Then why?" Dean demanded through gritted teeth feeling his blood burn with utter impatience as he leaned his posture forward in a combative manner, displaying both in his gruff tone and flinty expression that this was the last time he was going to ask her nicely and the smart teenager received the message loud and clear.
Ellie's mouth parted feeling her breath stop in her throat as a telling expression of overwhelmed helplessness wilted against her troubled features. A glimmer of overcome distress glinted in her brown eyes before she turned her head to the side and cast her attention down towards the carpet once again.
"You-you were dying." Ellie finally admitted, a heavy guilt lining her defeated tone as she awaited the harsh shrapnel that was about to come her way.
The room grew unnerving with a tense and heavy silent as Sam and Dean blinked at her in speechless shock. A dumbfounded paleness began to drain the color from their faces as their minds absorbed the disturbing meaning of her honest words.
"You were looking into satanic magic to save me?" Dean questioned in a level tone, still recovering from the ballistic shock of her reasoning completely knocked back by what he had just heard.
Dean did not see that coming, not by a mile, and the man probably would have been less shocked if she told him she was snow white and lived with the seven dwarfs.
However, like swift smack across the face, Dean snapped out of his shock and the astonished look of disbelief he was sporting against his masculine features was rapidly replaced with one of complete outrage and horror as Dean's expression molded into a stony scowl of absolute fury.
With his green eyes suddenly widening and sparking with confounded rage, Dean abruptly shot up from his seated position, like someone had, suddenly, lit his ass on fire. His thick steal toed boots thudded against the thin carpeting, sending a vibrating tremor against the soles of her boots, as his staggering six-foot build towered over the young petite teenager looking every bit as murderous as she imagined.
"Have you lost your freaking mind, Elena!" Dean's deep livid voice thundered in raging offense causing Ellie's limbs to tense and flinch harshly.
Feeling rifts of anxiety crack and spark against her tight chest wildly, Ellie took a swift jumping step backwards, her backside connecting with chrome pleated edging of the kitchen table.
"I-I didn't do anything. I-I promise. I didn't even get a chance to look cause-cause you were saved." Ellie explained the words spewing quickly and thoughtlessly from her lips in a desperate desire to explain herself and calm the man's fury. However, unfortunately, it seemed to do the exact opposite and a whole new kind of pissed seemed to emanated from the Hunter as an angry shade of red began to form against his complexion and the tendons in his strong neck bulged.
"'Saved?!'" Dean fumed in offense at her very poor choice of words in the moment as he took a hasty and combative step towards her closing the distance between them unnervingly quick. The man's strong stiff physic invaded her personal space, standing only a boot length away from her which was far too close for Ellie's mental well-being causing her to automatically arch her lower back and press her backside further into the chrome edging of the table behind her, instinctively leaning away from the furious man that looked just about ready to snap her in two. Ellie impulsively gripped onto the chrome edge of the table on either side of her slim frame feeling her shoulders rise up to her ears slightly in a shrinking and timid manner. If Ellie wasn't certain how pissed the man would be, she sure as hell was now and she was feeling every bit of the consequences her action brought her.
"My life was traded for another man's because of that satanic bullshit." Dean reminded heatedly as he pointed an angry finger over her right shoulder at the Grimoire on the table behind her, utterly floored by what he just heard came out of the teenager's mouth. "And you're telling me, you, a Hunter's kid, who knows how evil this shit is, was looking into black magic!?" Dean questioned with outrage severely God-smacked at the horrid notion of Ellie even putting a finger on something so evil, let alone considering using it.
Ellie didn't exhale a single breath until the irate Hunter jerked his stiff frame around and paced away from her, laying his heavy steal toed boots into the dense carpeting towards the large archway that divided the room. The man, exasperated out of his wits, ran his fingers through his short-spiked locks in disturbed frustration and confoundment taking two long strides away from the girl as he attempted, with a considerable amount of effort, to pull himself together and get a hold of his flustered shock before turning his frame around to address the reckless teen again.
"Do you know how fucking dangerous that is, Elena?" Dean questioned forcefully, a heavy weight of fearful concern shaking his enraged tone as a frantic and overwhelming alarm bubbled in his gut wildly. The very thought of her meddling in demonic practices was gut-wrenchingly disturbing to the seasoned Hunter. Not to mention sickeningly offensive on a damn personal level as it went against everything he stood for as not only a respected Hunter, whose identity and purpose was in the very fabric of killing any evil son of bitch who tampered with it, but as a man of dignity and principle.
Terrifying thoughts raged through Dean's mind thinking if she had read just one spell, just one, the risk of her life along with many others would have been at stake. Although it was clear the naive girl did not have evil intentions by any stretch, in the grand scheme of things, that held little consequences against the sheer severity of what she was attempting to do.
The trained and hardened Hunter knew the very nature of the twisted and derange practice would cause her good intentions to turn on its head because that is how demonic power operated. Good was simply not obtainable within it and evil prevailed, every damn time. One way or another, something horrible always comes of it and Dean was utterly God-smacked with raging concern that it even crossed the girl's mind to do something so shockingly and blatantly wrong.
Yet, it seemed the worst part of it all was the fact that the sly girl did it right under their noses, playing them for utter fools by using their trust against them. And to add icing on the cake to this 'shit show' of a disaster, was the horrifying notion that Ellie would have gotten away with it if he did not have the good sense to look into her bag and find what she had been hiding. The girl could have died on his watch all because he was too blindsided and hoodwinked by a thirteen-year-old to see it coming. It was not only embarrassingly stupid on his part as an experienced Hunter and a grown man of competence, but utterly terrifying as Ellie was able to pull off this little scheme of her's without once being detected. He was outwitted by her and fell for her deceptive ruse, hook, line, and sinker, completely disregarding his instincts as he allowed his tender care for the girl to overrule his better judgment, letting himself be swayed by an innocent freckled face and a pair of dewy brown eyes. If he had put his foot down and forced her to come with them to the clinic that day, then she never would have had the opportunity to get the book in the first place. His lapse in judgment and failure to heed to the signs was a crushing oversight and just flat-out inexcusable as it could have cost the little girl her life and that cold reality bested his composure to a grave extent.
Her betrayal was gutting and it sunk deep into his bones feeling a personal affliction and disrespect he had never experienced with the teenager before. Not just because of her manipulation and lies and total disregard to his orders, which was no small thing in itself, but her looking into satanic magic was no less a personal attack on his rigid beliefs and purpose as a well-regarded Hunter. He spent his entire life hunting and killing things that delve into the evil practice of black magic - witches, demons, supernatural beings alike. He personally witnessed the horrifying and vile atrocities that came from it, his mother included. Human beings murdered, mutilated, cursed, and tortured in the most horrific savage ways imaginable by deranged monstrous psychos who reveled in it with the upmost glee, getting off on it like some addict experiencing a high. Women, children, and babies were not exempt from the horrors and the nightmare inducing reality of it was forever burned into Dean's conscience and no amount of alcohol, detachment, or witty sarcasm would ever erase the heart-wrenching burden of it all. And now, learning that Ellie, a kid he was coming to care a great deal about, his kid, was looking into the horrible practice like it was a miracle 'cure-all' that would make everything right. It was atrociously shocking and dreadfully concerning and Dean rejected it with every fiber of his being as a man, as a Hunter, as a human-being principle.
"You know what happened with Sue Ann, you know how evil and dangerous it is to meddle in demonic magic. What were you even thinking?" Sam demanded just as outraged and God-smacked as his brother, his stern words punctuating deeply and fervently within his chest, causing a blossom of anxious heat to bleed against Ellie's petite chest as she flicked her attention over to him.
The severe lines within Sam's hard expression were dauntingly stern giving her a look of intense indignation leaving no doubt in her mind he was just as enraged as his older brother. Ellie gripped and adjusted her calmy palms around the chrome edge of the kitchen table on either side of her as she swallowed hard knowing she was in no way going to be receiving any gentle understanding from him.
Despite Sam being the more tactful and understanding of the two men when it came to seeing areas of grey, Sam, like his brother, was a tired and true Hunter with a set of rigid standards that were implemented in him at a young age and held no tolerance in his heart for the corrupt practice. Wrong was wrong and there was no area of 'greys' to be had when it came to black magic. To Sam, it was in line with aiding in evil doings as it was a specific tool designed to cause atrocities at a momentously terrifying level.
He was just as blindsided that Ellie would even think of doing something so blatantly wrong as Sam was certain she had been taught at a very young age on the evils of witchcraft. Despite him feeling a weight of understanding in his heart as to why she did it and there was no small amount of appreciation he had for her wanting to save Dean's life, that was all swiftly pushed aside as it did not even come close to overshadowing the magnitude of the act itself.
Black magic was never the answer and Sam knew without a shadow of a doubt, she was aware that what she was doing was wrong and dangerous, but, like other times before, the daring girl did it anyway completely disregarding the risks to her personal safety and, this time, the safety of others as well.
Being the well versed and knowledgeable man that he was, knew the dark manipulation that took place within black magic. It would not be out of the ordinary to have a masked spell in a Grimoire which appeared pleasing on the surface, but was ultimately a devious gateway to destruction, specifically designed to trick and trap someone into using it for the mere purpose and pleasure of causing someone pain and suffering or, worst case, their demise. Without the proper knowledge, skill, and experience to spot the signs, one could to easily fall into vile traps like that. Ellie wasn't just in danger of being killed by looking into the evil practice, but being killed in the most brutal and horrific fashions imaginable, causing Sam to become physically nauseated with panicking fear as his mind flooded with an abundance of disturbing outcomes that could have transpired.
"It's not like that! I would never use it how Sue Ann used it. I would never murder anyone! And it doesn't matter because nothing happened. I didn't use it. I didn't even read any of it, not one page." Ellie swiftly explained in a panic, eager to defend herself and try to get the Hunters to understand that she was just going to look and her intentions weren't bad.
Ellie's wide eyes cut from one Hunter to the next, her desperate expression imploring them to see things from her perspective. They should know her well enough by now had that she would never harm anyone. Right?
"You better not have, kid, because if I find out you are lying to me. You will not sit for a freaking month." Dean threatened with a daunting sternness edging his hard tone as he fixed her with a deeply weighted gaze that seemed to be smoldering harshly into his expression. "And it does not matter, because there are Hunters out there, if they found you with that Grimoire in your backpack and somehow got the idea that you were meddling with that evil shit, they would want to Hunt you." Dean's deep voice punctuated his words intensely as he locked his eyes onto her's, a deep weightiness lining his hard expression.
"Do you understand that?! I've met men that would kill for less." Dean informed bluntly giving the kid the harsh reality of what could have fallen on her due to her reckless actions. As Dean expressed the words aloud a potent and overwhelming fear gripped onto his tense muscles making them go intensely rigid at the thought of some unhinged Hunter mistaking Ellie as a freak entangled with the supernatural. Although there were a number of good and fair Hunters out there, there were shady, rough, and unhinged characters in the Hunting world that went far beyond getting their hands dirty and, unfortunately, off-ing a teenager who they saw as 'taken' by satanic worship would be just another Tuesday for them. Fear began to raddle Dean's edgy nerves feeling his heart begin to swell with a concerning and intense ache that seemed to spread through his whole body as a nauseous sensation traveled up his throat.
Ellie, unwittingly, straightened her posture feeling her muscles strain with tremorous tension at hearing her uncle's fears repeated by Dean. Despite the undeniable dread of that terrifying possibility, Ellie found a glimmer of hope as it appeared Dean, himself, did not see her as an all-out freak for looking into black magic. Although, undoubtably, enraged at the idea and saw it as teetering on a very dangerous line, he did not deem it as monstrous worthy of being shunned or killed over like other Hunters might. In fact, he was worried about others killing her, just like her uncle, which gave Ellie a margin of hope and some degree of relief. Despite him looking just about ready to bite her head off, his concern was received and there was a feeling of safety that creeped back into her heart which seemed oddly unfitting considering she was probably in for the biggest licking of her young life.
She was in danger of getting her backside tanned for sure, but she was not in danger of anything worse than that and that was worth a great deal to the young teenager's sanity. Although, Ellie knew in her heart of hearts that Sam and Dean would never truly harm her, the harshness of the supernatural world she lived in made her fear the worst and the devastating reality was those fears weren't all together invalid. Sam and Dean still did not know about her blood connections to witchcraft and their standpoint on the issue could undoubtably change on a dime if they found out. They may not see her as an all-out freak now, but that did not mean they wouldn't see her as a freak as soon as they knew and Ellie was determined to keep it that way at all cost.
"Y-You were dying. This was just a last resort. I was only going to look and see if there was a way to use it for 'good' to save your life. I promise." Ellie defended, the words flying off her lips quickly, but sincerely attempting explain away their fears. However, that did not seem to reach the Hunter's rigid minds on the matter one bit.
"Nothing 'good' could ever come from that book!" Sam's deep voice boomed causing the knot in Ellie's chest to constricted harshly at the usually composed man's outrage as she snapped her attention back to Sam. "It's rooted in satanic worship, ritual, and blasphemy. Its very core is evil, Elena. No matter what your intentions are it will always result in destruction. That is its nature, its purpose, and no matter how 'careful' you are, evil will always come from it. You understand that?" Sam demanded, his elevated voice heavy with a stern offense and unwavering intolerance.
Ellie would be lying if she said Sam's words did not shake her confidence on matter as she had a healthy fear of the practice instilled in her by her uncle. She knew how devastatingly wrong things could go when meddling with dark magic and Sue Ann's recent downfall was no small tragedy to be dismissed, but despite that, there was still this naive resistance and teenage stubbornness battling within her young mind. The recollection of her mother's accomplishments in the hunting world with the use of black magic, along with a powerful childlike blind love she had for her deceased mother, caused her to push back against the idea that it could never be utilized in dire situations. It wasn't a simple black and white issue in Ellie's mind and there was no short of this misplaced arrogance that although Sam and Dean were experienced Hunters, they did not know everything there was to know about black magic and were simply ignorant to the fact that 'good' could come from it, if navigated correctly. Just because they never witnessed it, did not mean it wasn't true and her mother was all the testament the young girl needed to remain stubbornly rooted in that naïve and hopeful opinion.
"But…" Ellie began to argue, fully prepared to assert her two cents on the matter, but Sam never gave her the chance.
"There is no 'but', young lady, there is only 'yes, sir', this is not a debate." Sam declared with stern rigidness surprised she had the gall to think there was a 'but' in this situation. Although Sam usually was one to remain tactful and gently persuasive with his words, the man found himself too overcome with fear and personal blame to comfort her with an ounce of leniency. His gentle-minded approach by foolishly advocating for Ellie to stay behind while they went to that clinic, practically giving Ellie the opportunity to carry out her scheme on a silver platter, got him nothing, but a sharp knife in the back. And if Sam was being honest with himself, her 'I know better than you' attitude was not only irritating him to a grave degree, but scaring the absolute hell out of him. That type of arrogant thinking from a thirteen-year-old in the Hunting world was inexcusably dangerous and Sam was finding a hard time stomaching the cocky teenage boldness, not only because it was disrespectful and disregarding of their knowledge and authority, but it was damaging to her well-being and safety. If she kept on thinking with this immature, stubborn, haughty mindset it was going to lead her down a path that was sure to fail her in the most detrimental way possible. A steadfast rigidness began to set within his mind, as fear, unwittingly, pushed him to resort to his old man's survival mentality where there was simply no room for debate or compromise. In short, there was no, 'but' that was worth her life.
For the first time, Ellie felt a ping of irritation press against her guilt as Sam brought her back to the harsh reality that no matter what she had to say, in the end, it would not make a difference because she was just a thirteen-year-old little girl. Ellie would be lying if she said she wasn't hurt by Sam's disregard to hearing her side of things. Although she was well aware what she did was extreme and undoubtably wrong, she couldn't help, but give into her teenage desire to push back against the usually understanding man's rigidness. This sinking feeling of being unappreciated and pinned as just too stupid to have anything of value to say raddled her teenage frustrations far more than it should have. Ellie's brows furrowed with insult and a youthful pout began to form against her feminine features as her eyes glinted with a wounded exasperation.
"There are sick, twisted, evil things in there that could kill you, and I'm not talking about in nice, easy, peaceful ways, but in slow, agonizing, terrifying ways to the likes of which you could never even begin to imagine." Dean described bluntly and harshly not at all sugar coating the seriousness of what she was thinking of doing causing Ellie's face to falter and pale with a fitting unease.
"There is nothing in that book that does not come with a price. A price you don't want to pay, believe me. You get deep enough into this shit, you will go to dark places you don't want to be and by the time you realize it, it'll be too late and there won't be a damn thing Sam and I can do for you." Dean declared, a daunting severeness entering his deep tone as he laid out the cruel reality for her with black and white clarity.
Ellie's lips parted a touch feeling all the air rush from her lugs as a hardy blow of fear drove straight through her chest like an eighteen-wheeler as Dean bluntly suggested that she could become corrupt over time, just like Sue Ann was, implicating that if she went too far into black magic, they would not be able to save her. This brought Ellie back to the grim reality that the steadfast Hunter condemned witchcraft as a hunt-able offense and if she went down that evil path, she could be seen as a target and no acceptation in the eyes of the Hunting world.
A potent trepidation pressed against her heart, and no small amount of hurt, as it was unclear to her fearful mind if the man was insinuating that he, personally, would resort to hunting her if she became 'corrupt' or if he simply meant he would just not do anything to save her if it came down to it? Although Ellie should have expected no less from Hunters if she did turn into one of those Santan worshipping freaks. Hell, she being taught the very same tough-minded values, would be standing right alongside them fighting anyone who would resort to evil atrocities like Sue Ann. Yet, hearing the scary implication of her becoming corrupt and 'going to dark places' did not make it any less tremendously terrifying to hear. No matter how strong Ellie felt about not being swayed out of her position, the fact remained that the brothers' intense words were getting to her, although not completely as her love for her mother prevailed, they were planting serious elements of doubt into her conscience, shaking her rigid stance far more than she cared to admit.
Yet, despite the dangers and the fears, Ellie was utterly convinced it would never come to that, as her mother never became 'evil' by using the practice and neither would she. She would make sure of it, but it all didn't matter anyways because she never got a chance to look into it and she would never look into again unless she absolutely had to.
"Well, not everyone who uses it becomes corrupt like Sue Ann." Ellie naively declared in advocacy for her mother and herself, a childlike stubbornness coming out in her defensive tone desperate to convince herself there was an ounce of justification in her rash actions.
"Yes, they do." Dean punctuated each word slowly and purposefully in a heavy tone of unweaving resolve causing Ellie's heart to swell with a sweltering ache that began to pulse in the center of her chest as Dean, unwittingly, more or less, implied that her mother was corrupt. "It might not always start out that way, but in the end, a price is always paid." Dean's deep serious voice rumbled in a low grave tone making young Ellie's mind scramble with turmoil feeling her defensive walls build up around her heart as she worked hard wrap her head around the man's honest words.
Ellie found herself shaking her head from side to side in denial, feeling her loyal heart rejecting their words. If Sam and Dean were right and that there was no way of navigating around the 'bad' then that meant that her meddling in black magic was not only wrong, but flat-out evil, through and through, – a clear black and white, hunt-able offense, surpassing her element of 'freak status' straight up to witch, which was indeed worthy of being hunted, just like Sue Ann, that not only made her feel guilty as hell, but, fittingly, it scared the ever-loving shit out of her. But what was far worse than anything else to the young teenager was, if they were right, that would mean her mother, who actively used the practice on several occasions, was worthy of the scrutiny too, meaning she didn't work around the 'evil', but accepted the corrupt 'prices' that came with the magic.
A childlike desperation caused Ellie to actively work around her logic forcing her heart to sway in her mother's favor despite the pestering voice in the back of her mind that urged her rationality to question and be wary. She stubbornly worked hard to explain away and minimize Sam and Dean's sincere warnings that invaded her mind compellingly as her care and respect for them was not of little consequence.
All the memories of her beloved mother rejected Sam and Dean's implications in every way and her young loyal heart simply could not accept the grim prospect. She was a kind, selfless woman, a hero, who died alongside the man she loved, saving people and hunting evil. There was nothing 'evil' about her mother and the fact that Sam and Dean even suggested it, although unwittingly, wounded Ellie deeply to the point of closing her heart up to their words and bringing a defensive arrogance back in her that labeled Sam and Dean as narrow-minded and ignorant. They didn't know the prodigy that was Elizabeth Colt. So how could they possibly get to say such things without the proper knowledge? She saved lives and that was not 'evil', not by a long shot.
"Well, that's-that's just your opinions. You're not always right, ya know. You don't know all there is to know about satanic magic. It may come as a surprise to you, but the great Sam and Dean Winchester don't know everything." Ellie boldly declared, with no other thought in her head except to give into her impulsive desire to defend her mother and herself. Ellie allowed her need to say her peace overrule better judgement as she buried the tremendous guilt she was harboring and forced the hurt offense to take the forefront of her flustered emotional state.
Despite her attempting to sound assertive in standing up for herself and her mother, there was this sassy teenage arrogance and stubbornness that seemed to encompass her tone and all and all, came across rude, haughty, and just plain defiant.
It wasn't until Ellie finished her rant that the young teenager began to realized her impulsive and immature words were far from tolerated and the look on both Sam and Dean's faces said it all.
Ellie might as well have just spat in the faces as that would have been the equivalent. The arrogant disrespect and the disregard towards everything they said was damning to say the least and her last insolent words spoke volumes to the Hunters making it clear their words did not reach her. This just confirmed to Dean just how much of a child he was actually talking to and a fire of motivation was lite under him to treat her appropriately.
There was a long beat of unnerving silence as Dean's penetratingly hard glare continued to stare a hole into her head looking as if cement had been injected into his strong limbs for how unmovably stiff he appeared. Ellie's wide brown eyes, which had the good sense to looked worried and regretful, cut over to Sam briefly. The man's firm brow bridge hooded his sharp eyes which were glaring at her with a stern stoicism as the ridges in his scowling expression were hardened with severe disapproval. Without breaking his gaze on her, Sam moved to cross his long-toned arms over his broad chest as he widened his stance slightly adjusting himself and rooting his boots where they stood, almost like he was settling himself there with no intention of moving for a while. The shadow of his father strong posture outlined his tall physic as his masculine jawline stood rigidly sharp giving off an air of authoritative restraint and solidity.
Ellie's eyes cut back to look at Dean who had not deviated his glower on her for even a moment. Ellie watched with rising apprehension as the man dragged his tongue along the inside of his cheek, a familiar outward display of his aggravation which Ellie had witness a few times before. The telling gesture was a subtle, but powerful reminder of who she had just dared to sass in the midst of everything.
Then without a word, Dean moved out of his statue-like state and reached up to the waist band of his dark washed jeans pushing up on his black cotton t-shirt revealing his thick brown leather belt underneath. With purposeful movements and a stern stoic expression of resolve intended into his hard features, Dean's strong fingers worked to calmly unbuckle his belt all the while never taking his intense green eyes off the smart-mouthed teenager.
Ellie's lips parted as she stared intently at Dean's waistband feeling her blood run cold with crushing dread. An anxious blossom of heat began to bleed and spread within her chest causing her nerves to dance wildly in trepidation as she knew without a shadow of a doubt her words just cost her 'one hell of a licking' to become 'one hell of a licking and then some' and while she was certain she was going to get it no matter what, her cocky and defensive words did not help matters.
The familiar clinking of the belt's buckle sounded in Ellie's ears unsettling, causing her body to physically react as she grew incredibly stiff recalling just how painful belt licks were.
Once Dean finished unbuckling his belt, the man grabbed ahold of tarnished brass buckle and pulled it through the loops of his faded blue jeans. The friction of the thick flexible leather gliding against the denim fabric sounded distinctly against the silence of the hotel room causing Ellie's swelling chest to spark and sputter with jittery anxiety.
Ellie continued to watch, with awaited horror, as the man calmly, but decisively folded his dark brown leather belt in half gripping the tarnished brass buckle in his right fist before letting the folded belt dangle idly at his right side.
"Pull down your jeans and bend over the table." Dean ordered in a dangerously low tone; the calmness of his voice holding a level of daunting resolve that nearly had Ellie's heart plummeting into her gut.
TBC
Well, shit.
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