[April 6.]

Leo stands in front of the grave, staring at the headstone. The grief and regret he's been feeling is still as fresh as the first day. The words from the letter are playing on repeat in his head.

'—I may or may not be in love with you...'

Ah, focus, Leo. You need to focus. The composer takes a deep, shaky breath as he holds the bouquet in his hand.

"Heh...hey, Suo...Happy Birthday."

He kneels down and puts the bouquet of lilacs down in front of the grave. They were both their favorite flowers. It reminded him of Tsukasa, after all.

"18...huh..? You would be turning 18 today...time really flies by…"

He gently touches the headstone with trembling fingers as he stares at the portrait of Suo on it with a pained heart. He swallows harshly as a tear glides down his cheek.

The passage of time never really bothered Leo, but knowing that the red haired boy will never grow older than he is now, is hurting his heart. There will be no more birthdays, holidays and celebrations together. Just the empty, hollow void of never having someone again.

"You would be a legal adult today, and I can never take you out for your first drink…"

...how did he even sound anymore..Leo doesn't remember. Still, he tries to imagine what Tsukasa would have looked like, but he can't.

All he sees when he tries to picture his friend (but is he really just a friend after reading that letter?) is a memory. A snapshot of how he used to be, stuck in time. It's a thought that haunts him and sends stabs of guilt into his heart. He lets out a pained laugh as tears start falling from his eyes.

"I don't even remember what your voice sounds like anymore, Suo..."

He slowly looks back at his ring and gently touches the gem on it, feeling the smooth and cool surface.

The ginger closes his eyes as he imagines scenarios that make his heart ache, scenarios where the younger man lived and they both admitted their feelings to each other.

"Y'know..Maybe we could have gotten engaged, or married. I wonder what our wedding would have been like...maybe we would have eloped..!"

A shaky sigh leaves Leo. Every time he tries to imagine their lives together after admitting their feelings, it's like getting stabbed in the heart. He reopens his eyes and looks at the gravestone. Gently touching the top of the headstone, the smooth cold marble on his fingertips, he chokes out a sob.

"God, I...I would have given everything…everything to spend the rest of my life with you…"

The composer lets out a broken laugh as more tears fall. He can see that the picture on the headstone is blurry through the tears in his eyes. He swallows harshly as he tries to force himself to speak.

"You know Suo, there's a saying... 'It is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all'...but I think...I think I can confidently say that's bullshit.."

Leo lets out a pained chuckle as he tries to swallow down the sobbing in his throat. His heart feels so heavy and his head feels fuzzy.

"I...wish I never fell in love with you, Suo. maybe the pain wouldn't be so strong if I didn't."

but then again, he wouldn't be here. Celebrating Tsukasa's birthday.

He would have moved on..perhaps forgotten him earlier, never having known of the ring and letter that his beloved King had left him.

That letter. Every word in that precious letter keeps playing on repeat in Leo's head.

It is like a cruel reminder of the love he can never have now. The love he never got to reciprocate. The love he never knew of till now.

Soon enough, he stands up, legs weak after sobbing. He has practice he has to attend after this, after all.

Yet he takes another look at the gravestone, letting his eyes trail over the words of Tsukasa's name. The composer takes a deep breath before he speaks again.

"Happy...Happy Birthday, Suo…"