A/N Welcome back folks. Obviously I invest a high volume of energy into Middlewood and About a Ron. But I'm getting really high on this fic.
Hopefully you are enjoying this story as much as I've enjoyed writing it……so far
Ok here we are…
"Here" happened to be the cab that was currently leading Kim and Ron to their next destination, which happened to be a highly upscale party.
By Ron's standards anyway.
He peeked at Kim, her arms folded she rocked back and forth in time to the music coming from the car stereo.
Cab rides do not impress the ladies. I wish I had a car, I should have a car. Why don't I have a car? Oh right I don't know how to drive…..Maybe I should say something
He started too but his words found it necessary to cling for dear life in the back of his throat. He then decided it was better to wait until the song had ended or until the station went to commercial or when the cab stopped at a red light or…….
Kim sniffed the air "Do you smell something?"
"If it's fear and self pity you smell than that's probably me."
Apparently she did not hear him. "This cab stinks" She smiled before taking a moment to study his face "are you ok?"
He licked his lips "I'm cool"
"You sure?"
"Yep….So what's the deal with your dean throwing a party anyway?"
"Well he likes to keep in touch with the student populace. He's a really laid back administrator."
He shifted uncomfortably in his seat "And you're positive this is not a sophisticated thing---with uh suits and stuff."
"Yeah it's supposed to be casual."
"Ok" He exhaled "I think I should have worn the khakis."
"You look fine…"
"I was told" Ron declared "that these Upperton U hip/intellectual parties are strictly khaki affairs."
"Who told you that?"
"A very reliable source."
"Well tell your source that he/she is over generalizing Upperton U students."
Ron nodded "I should have worn the khakis." A few minutes later he found himself twiddling his thumbs "so um is your ex going to be there?"
Kim stared "Nicholas?"
Nicholas eh?
She looked down at her lap "yea there's a good chance he might be there."
Ron stayed silent
"….Unfortunately…..
He smiled
"...God knows I so don't want anything to do with that jerk."
"They say when you see your ex with someone else they never look better. So when he sees you looking all beautiful tonight he'll really be feeling like an idiot."
There was a forty three second pause
"I'm sorry."
She eyed him curiously "for what?"
"I just called you beautiful….."
"I don't think I got that memo, beautiful became an insult when?"
"I…ok it was a compliment."
"Thank you…. Anyway dressing up just to make an ex jealous would be really petty."
"Oh" Ron faced forward "Got to admire that, personally, if I know anything about myself, I don't think I'm above that kind of pettiness."
He turned his head towards the window. Kim looked down at her jeans; she used her hands to smooth out the wrinkles.
"I'm not either."
He looked at her "hmmm?"
"I'm not…" she diverted her eyes away from him "I guess I'm not really that above it myself."
He shrugged "ah we're only human."
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"Nice place" Ron whistled.
The dean's house which was located on the outskirts of the university was more akin to a mini mansion than an actual house
"Yeah it's neo-Georgian" Kim said as they sauntered up the walk to the house.
"Uhhhhhh-huuuuh"
"That means it's got red bricks up front."
"Well obviously." Ron stared up at the house "maybe I should just wait out here, keep the grass company"
"Oh come on" she put her hand on his shoulder "They won't bite."
"They won't bite but they'll hurt me, emotionally, with their elite all knowing eyes that can see my every weakness."
"Melodramatic much? Don't worry you're with me"
Ron thought about this for a moment "well as long as we're here. What the heck."
They came to the door and were greeted by a butler. This helped further reaffirm Ron's belief that he was out of his element.
The butler led them down a long hallway, into a large area that was filled wall to wall with people who chatted amongst themselves and sipped slowly from champagne glasses.
As Ron looked around he could tell immediately that every guy in the room was wearing some form of colored shirt and khaki combination.
"I guess you were right about the khakis" Kim whispered to him.
"Oh really, I hadn't noticed" he replied.
As he contemplated rushing over to the nearest Gap, a skinny blond in a stylish yet easily assessable black tube top dress, bounded up to them.
"Kim you made it." She stopped when she noticed Ron. She looked him up and down.
The eyes
"Oh…..Ron this is one of my classmates Valli Chaney."
"Classmates?" Valli fake pouted "is that all we are, I thought we were good friends."
Ron noticed that the girl was wearing two of the most expensive diamond earrings he had ever seen.
"Of course" Kim smiled politely "oh Valli this is Ron Stoppable."
"Kim" Valli grabbed Kim by the arm as she continued refusing to acknowledge Ron's existence "Dean Roth has been looking for you all night."
"Wait I…"
Valli started to pull Kim away.
"It's ok I'll just wait….. here." Ron watched as Kim was dragged further from him. He took another long look at the partygoers.
Ok brain this is a party and what do normal people do at parties.
They mingle.
Exactly
Though, normal people usually don't have conversations with their brain.
Shut up
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Mingle attempt #1
Ron stood in a small group of four that encircled a young man who was ranting about the merits of his last creative writing professor.
"The man was completely inept yet he had the nerve to call my work sophomoric. He called my work sophomoric..."
Ron jumped in "I guess you wish you had taken him during your freshman year"
They all turned to look at him.
Ron ran his hands along his collar "then you know; you would have seen that as a compliment...sophomoric, because you would have only been a freshman."
They continued to stare.
Time to move on
Ron stared off in a random direction "ah so there's the bathroom" he said before walking off.
Mingle attempt # 4
Ron approached an older gentleman who looked somewhat familiar to him.
"Excuse me sir, do I know you from somewhere?"
The man puffed up his chest "ah yes I was featured in the latest Artisan Times. That was my dissertation on the effects of postimpressionists on the development of analytical postmodern cubism."
"Ah, of course, of course" Ron nodded "I'm sorry but can you point me in the direction of the bathroom."
Mingle attempt # 9
Ron drifted past a group of arguing students and to his surprise, one of them turned to him "Quick who do you think more people have heard of Britinia or Margaret Thatcher?"
"Ah Britinia?" He answered
"Ha I told you!' The student said to the others in his group. He turned back to Ron "Thanks"
"No big, so uh who's Margaret Thatcher?"
The student glared at him with a bemused look on his face "wait are you serious?"
Ron shook his head no and forced out a chuckle before asking for directions to the bathroom.
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As Valli happily skipped from one group of chattering heads to the next, someone grabbed her roughly by the forearm and pulled her into a secluded corner of the room.
"Who the hell?"
She turned to her assailant. It took a second or two before she realized the extremely cute dark haired guy, (who wore a blue button down with black khakis) who had grabbed her was her brother.
She sighed "what's with you now Ken?"
"What's with me?" He licked his lips "What's with you? You told me they had broken up, you said she was single, but guess what; I just saw her walk in here with another guy."
"I'm as shocked as you are" Valli said before clicking her tongue "he's kind of a real downgrade from Nicholas dontcha think?"
"Look I don't really care ok? You're good friends with her right?"
"Well…."
"Again I don't care, just find out how serious the relationship is, alright"
Valli groaned "but you're going to break them up anyway like you do with all the others. Why should I even bother?"
He glanced over his shoulders "I'd like to know how much work I've got to put into this and how hard I've got to crush this guy ok? Now go."
As his sister stomped off, muttering angrily like an enraged six year. Ken found part of himself hoping that things between Kim Possible and the blond guy were serious. It would make things harder but also a lot more interesting. He always relished a challenge
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"I don't belong here" Ron groaned.
"Me neither"
Ron turned toward the voice and came face to face with the only other person who didn't blend in with the crowd. Aside from the fact that he was obviously gay the guy had on a black turtle neck and jeans, pretty tight jeans.
The guy looked at the partygoers as if he couldn't believe how dull the party was. Then his eyes fell back on Ron. "Hey you're the guy who walked in with Kim Possible."
"Uh yeah"
"You're the talk of the party."
"What?" Ron swiveled his head back and forth, everyone seemed to be more concerned with their own affairs, no one even gave him a second glimpse "are you sure?"
"Trust me. I'm Brian by the way" They shook hands "Oh and if you're looking for Kim there she is."
Brain pointed the way, and Ron looked in that direction. He spotted her on the other side of the room yakking it up with an older man who Ron could only assume was the dean. He continued to stare as she talked. She really was pretty.
It was than; after somehow sensing she was being stared at; that she noticed him. Her eyes flickered towards him and he jerked his head away.
"That was smooth." Brain said
"What?"
"Jerking you head away like that is like the universal message for 'yes I was staring at you, when you weren't looking'."
Ron gulped "Do you think she noticed that?
"Stevie Wonder would have noticed that hun"
Crap
A smile suddenly came to Brian's face "oh things just got more interesting, lookie who just walked in. The Ex"
Ex? Nicholas
Ron peered towards the entrance just in time to see Nicholas walk into the room.
"Don't tell me he's not gorgeous."
"Well I guess" Ron responded "if you're into that perfect features type look."
Groan
Brian noticed the extra slump in Ron's shoulders and patted him on the back "don't worry, he's gorgeous yes, but he's such an unbearable bore. Nothing remotely interesting about the man."
"Really, it's hard to image that he would have been with Kim for so long then."
"Ah my friend apparently you are unaware of the virtues of shallowness." A lull "You like her don't you?" Brain asked abruptly
"What? I don't like….we're just friends"
"Really?"
"Yea"
Brian looked down at his finger tips "Well you're either lying or you're gay."
"What?" Ron said momentarily startled "Ah what do you know?"
"Trust me hun a woman always knows" Brian laughed "I'm surprised though, I thought she was the type to go after the alpha males. "
"I guess maybe she thought a beta male would be a nice change of pace" Ron ran his hands across his face "seriously look I acknowledge that she's a really, really, really, good looking girl...
"But you're not attracted to women."
"I AM, I so am, no one is more attracted to women than I am."
"That's a bold statement. Don't you work at the Mendy's downtown."
Ron mini gasped "I….I guess you've shopped there before"
"Oh frequently and I never forget a face."
Ron took in a breath "Alright, I know the reputation that the Mendy's staff has. But I'm totally, completely, into women."
"Oh I could tell that just by the way you stare at Kimberly."
"Yes thank you," Ron agreed "that's all I've been trying to say…wait what?"
Brain laughed again "if it makes you feel better, just from these few minutes I can tell you're definitely a step up from Nicholas."
"Oh really" Ron said cheerfully
"Not in the looks department though."
"Oh, really" Ron said dismayed
"But as they say, looks don't mean everything. I'm sure 'Ms I can do anything' knows that now'."
"Ms. I can do anything?"
"That's her motto; she says it all the time. Though one wonders if she believes her own hype"
Ron briefly glanced back at Kim "What do you mean?" He inquired.
"Don't get me wrong the girl's really talented; she's also very ambitious and competitive in everything she does. People like that, its make or beak for them, succeed or fail, no in between. They'll take on all challenges and they can find themselves in over their head, especially since they take everything on, alone." Brian ran his forefinger along the rim of his champagne glass "So when the pressure is on they need something to help get by, hence that's why I believe that 'I can do anything' can be interpreted as an emotional clutch maybe even a smidge of self delusional"
Ron blinked back at Brian.
"Oh I'm sorry, I'm a psych major. I guess I haven't learned yet to keep my thoughts to myself."
"I can do anything….self delusional…huh…" Ron paused "I've got nothing to base this on, but I feel that Kim isn't the type of person to say something she doesn't think is true. When she says 'I can do anything', she probably really believes it. I'm no psych major but I don't think you can just will yourself to believe something you know is false."
"Ooooo how philosophical" Brian cooed "you're smarter than you look"
"Uh thanks. Besides if anyone can say 'I can do anything' and back it up, it's her. Trust me I've seen her in action."
"Oh that sounds scandalous."
Ron shook his head vigorously "no, that's not what I meant" he said quickly "she saved my life"
"Interesting" Brian took a sip of champagne "I like you uh…"
"Ron."
"Ron, you're different, the only one here besides me not wearing khakis, stomping about this place like one of the Stepford Wives, that's a huge plus in my book. But you've spent enough time in my glorious company. Go on man, go claim your woman."
"It's not like that." Ron muttered "besides….you should have seen me out there among her….your peers. It was a disaster of Hindenburg proportions; all I was waiting for was for someone to shout 'oh the humanity'."
Ken chortled "how ironic that the only seemingly genuine person here feels like an outcast"
Genuine…hmmmm…..Wait how could I forget? Jake gave me notes on how to fake my way through this.
"Uh excuse me I've got to go…..bathroom."
"No worries, oh and good luck" Brian called out to Ron as he sprinted away.
Brian sighed "the good ones are always taken or straight."
"Hey!"
Brian almost jumped out of his clothes when Valli suddenly appeared beside him.
"What were you two talking about?"
He placed his hand on his chest and inhaled "pardon?"
"You and the blond guy what were you talking about? Did he talk about Kim? Are they really an item?"
Brian's eyebrow furrowed "Oh I see your brother is looking for more bragging rights."
"That's none of your business"
"Then my conversations are none of your business as well"
Valli scowled "Listen you little fruit cup; I don't care how popular you are around here. My brother and I will run you out of this school if you don't play nice."
"Ah Valli I see you've mastered the mystical art of tact."
"Answer the question; does my brother have to worry about this guy?"
Brain smiled and shook his head "no they're just friends."
"How do you know?"
"He works at Mendy's"
"Aren't the guys who work at Mendy's…" Vailli's face lit up "you mean he's…'
"Like a three dollar bill. But that's just between us three ok" Brian added.
"Ok, that's good then, Ken won't have to rush things."
"Tell him to take his time. You've got to go slow with a girl like Kim Possible."
"Right" Valli agreed "ok enjoy the rest of the party."
"Of course" Brian somehow managed to smile sweetly as Valli strolled away.
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Leaning against a bathroom stall Ron quickly ran through the note cards Jake had written for him.
"OK body language……when spinning a web of high grade bull it's crucial to always keep eye contact. You can get away with almost anything if you appear confident, and stand up straight."
Ron groaned "if I knew how to appear confident, I wouldn't be who am I today."
He continued "…..of course there is such a thing as too much eye contact. Stare too long and people will think you're a murderer.""
Hmmm got to remember this one
He flipped through the cards, which were classified into different sections, movies, art, politics….."If people are talking about something you should know like current politics, just keep your mouth shut and look slightly disinterested. That way people will think that the topic is too humdrum for you or you just don't want to get involved."
Ron kissed the note card "Jake I love you"
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"So what do you think? I just brought this piece, and I'd like your opinion on it"
Dean Roth led Kim and another student towards a large painting on his wall. Kim looked at the large white canvas that contained giant red blobs on each of the four corners, and a yellowish stain in the middle.
"Isn't it exquisite?"
"Um" What am I looking at? "It's…….….Ron?"
She was slightly surprised to see Ron stroll up beside her, his hands ran along the bottom of his chin.
"Dean Roth this is my friend Ron…"
Ron ignored her and walked up close to the painting "Hm!" He looked up and down the canvas. He nodded "the brushwork is brave"
How can brushwork be brave? Kim thought
She glanced over at Dean Roth who seemed to be pleased. "I see you have an eye for art"
"Well I'm no expert, but I do enjoy the occasional Ethan Shah piece……
Kim noticed Ron look down and tug at his sleeve. For a brief second she thought she caught a glimpse of an index card tucked in there.
"The uh composition is playful and there is a brilliant stroke of negative light. It's what the painter hasn't painted that really captures your attention"
What?
Dean Roth stared at the painting for a moment "yes, yes I agree wholeheartedly. My boy, you have made me see this painting in a whole new light." Dean Roth glanced sideways and his eyes locked with a few other students. "Would you excuse me for a moment?"
"Go right ahead." Ron smiled to himself as the dean walked away. Ha he totally brought it. He turned to Kim to see how impressed she was, only to find out that she wasn't there.
"Hey wha.."
"You really impressed the dean there."
Ron turned towards the other student who had been part of Kim and Dean's Roth little group.
"Uh"
"Have you taken Professor O Leary's Art History class?"
Ron looked past the student and saw Kim standing near a refreshment table.
"Uh I don't go to this school."
"Really? Where do you go?"
He looked over the student's shoulders again. Kim was taking a sip from a plastic cup when Nicholas suddenly came into view "I go to Q."
"Q?"
"City University of Upperton…..C.U.U"
"Oh?"
Ron looked away from Kim just long enough to see the condescending laughter in the student's eyes "Well it was the only school that had my major."
"Your, major?"
Nicholas crept closer to Kim like a predator on the plains. "Ah yes, I major in Human Capital management." Ron had been prepared for this question.
The student looked bewildered "Human capital management?"
It was the perfect major for Ron it sounded way more impressive than "Business Major" and it was so vague because well it didn't exist.
"Yes it's the latest thing in the business world, really cutting edge stuff."
The student nodded "I think I read about it in the latest issue of Entrepreneur monthly."
Of course you have
Ron eyed Nicholas; he was now standing next to Kim, he leaned in to say something.
"Well do you find that the courses adequately prepare you for today's workforce?"
Kim and Nicholas started talking, Ron couldn't believe it, they were talking while he was stuck here feeding manure to this nosy bore!
"Well of course it does, it teaches…." He paused to think of more lies "About effective management in a world a of shifting paradigms, where you must adapt by incentivizing your deliverables, and synergizing your uh core competencies."
"Wow sounds interesting."
"Yes, yes it does, because it is" He peeked back at Kim just in time to see her smile politely, pick her cup off the table, and splash it's contents in Nicholas' face before storming out of the room.
"Whoa, you'll have to excuse me! Uh let's do lunch or something" Ron brushed past the student and as he made his way towards the exit Nicholas grabbed him by the arm.
"Word of warning, she's not worth your time, she's nuts. She'll chew you up and spit you out." He told Ron as fruit punch dripped off his handsome face
"I gotta tell you, I think I'll take my chances on this."
Nicholas looked Ron over "you know it took me months to get her to go out with me. What kind of hell did she put you through?"
"Actually, she asked me out."
Technically she did ask him, though they weren't dating. But Ron didn't mind basking in the surprise on Nicholas' face. "Well see ya."
"I'll catch you on the rebound then" Nicholas retorted.
"Yea I'd hate to end this uh great….. dang what's that word, it was a good one it started with r…..repart…repore….repertoire…repertoire we've got going on, but I tend to start fires when I get caught in conversations with jerks. And if I don't get moving soon I might light this place up like a Christmas tree."
With that Ron spun on his heels and walked out.
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"That stupid, idiot, that, that ooooo" Kim fumed as she paced back and forth in front of Dean Roth's house.
"I need him" she snorted "please, I so do not need him or anyone else for that matter." She stopped and reviewed the last few minutes of the party.
"'He's good for me, I need him!' Oh he's got some b…."
"Yo KP"
KP? Her head snapped towards the voice
"Good, you're still here" Ron told her.
"Not for long, in a few seconds I'll be back in that idiot's face!" She growled. She was at her boiling point; her anger had hit its peak. She was going to go back in there and slug Nicholas right on the nose
"Uh-huh, you're not going to do anything assault-ish are you?"
"I think I forgot something inside."
"What did you forget?"
"I forgot to knock someone out."
She started back up the steps of the house when suddenly she felt something hold her back. She looked over her shoulders and finally noticed that Ron had gently taken a hold of her wrist.
"Yeahhhhh that might not be such a good idea. Besides that fruit punch bath you just gave him in front of his friends was probably more than enough humiliation."
Kim shoulders heaved as she took in a deep breath "But I've been meaning to punch him for awhile."
Ron chuckled softly "Ok he did ya wrong that's a given. But you're a better person than that right? Turn the other cheek."
She sighed "it might be a little too late for that after what just happened"
"Oh right the juice…..well how about we try 'don't kick em while they're down'"
"We can try that" she walked back down the steps "mmmm I just want to curse his name from the highest roof top."
"Why? No one would hear you from up there"
Kim stared at him; Ron in turn just smiled innocently and shrugged. She groaned and rolled her eyes, yet she discovered that she was no longer angry. The overpowering rage she was feeling a second ago, had receded rather quickly.
She looked down at her hand and they both realized he still had a hold of her. Surprisingly she found it slightly amusing when he dropped her hand as if it was scalding hot.
"Let's bail." She told him
"I could have sworn we had already done that."
"Let's get out of the walkway then. There's another party we can go to." They started to walk towards the front gate. "Listen I'm sorry about ditching you with the dean back there but I didn't know what to say about that painting."
"What you didn't like it?"
"Hardly, I thought it was kind of ridiculous."
"Ridiculous? How can it be ridiculous? It's art!" Ron said incredulously.
"I know its art. But what did it mean? What was the point? It looked like someone just put on a blind fold and tossed some paint in the direction of a canvas."
"So you weren't digging that painting?"
"Not at all, I didn't care about half the stuff that was going on in there" she observed the pained expression on his face "but I was surprised by how much you knew about the uh painting."
"Don't put too much stock in that" Ron reached into sleeve "I had no idea what the heck I was talking about."
"What?"
"It was all these cards" he handed them to her. "I guess it was all a waste" he replied dejectedly.
"But you knew the painters name."
"I read the little information on the tiny card on the frame before anyone noticed."
"How did you sneak these cards around?"
"I had a tiny obsession with magic tricks when I was little. I had allot of hobbies back then, not many friends but allot of hobbies"
She skimmed through the cards "why did you need these?"
"I needed them so I didn't look like a fool in front of your brainy hip friends. So I could impress yo…..uh the party guests."
Kim reflected a bit on this new revelation. All this?
She handed him back the note cards "hey I don't care about any of that stuff. You can just be yourself around me."
"Really?"
"Really. It's not like I'm totally shallow or anything."
Ron said nothing
She stopped in her tracks "what does that mean?"
Ron stopped and turned to face her "I didn't say anything."
"Exactly!" She saw his eyes dart back and forth between her and the dean's house and something clicked.
"I didn't go out with him just because of his looks."
"I didn't say anything."
"Yea he was…is good looking, but he was also smart and um…athletic and political."
Ron put his hands up to his chest as if to surrender "You're preaching to the choir, as was just about to fall in love with him myself."
Kim marched past him. Ron then quickly followed after her "Kim I'm sorry if I came off….."
"But" she interrupted "he was also incredibly boring, conceited and at times really insensitive." She paused "And I guess I knew that since the third date."
Ron wisely kept his mouth shut.
"Fine" Kim said to herself after a moments silence "Ok I may be a little shallow, I'm big enough to admit that."
"Ok you're shallow
"A may be a little shallow" she corrected
"You may be a little shallow and I lie and show off my imaginary life to strangers."
She grinned "we've got some issues for sure."
The atmosphere lightened, Ron decided to change subjects "hey did you run into the guy who wanted to start a letter writing club?"
She scoffed "who writes letters anymore. What are we on the front lines of the Civil War?"
Ron straightened up and in a monotone voice he said "Dearest Wife I take my pen in hand to write you a few lines. I promise to write more as soon as our regiment is organized. General Sherman says we march on Atlanta in the morn."
She laughed "that sounds exactly like the voice overs in those documentaries."
"You won't catch me writing a letter. Only Egyptians can read my hand writing, sometimes when I don't know how to spell something I just draw it."
"Sure" she rolled her eyes again "Hey what about the guy who was bragging about training rabbits?" She asked.
Ron nodded "Yea what was that about?"
"I know, what do you train rabbits to do, hide eggs?"
"That's exactly what I was thinking" he chortled.
They giggled for awhile longer
"How did you think up KP?" She asked abruptly
"KP?"
"You called me that earlier"
"When?"
"A few minutes ago"
He shook his head "No I didn't."
"You so did."
"Nah"
"I clearly heard you say "Yo KP"
He ran his fingers through his hair "did I?"
"Yep"
"Maybe it's a little too soon for the nicknames. Should I stop saying it?"
Kim surprised even herself when she latched onto his arm "No it's fine. I kind of like it" She found it comforting, but then again, amazingly enough she felt very comfortable around him overall.
"Oh….ok" was all he managed to say.
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Everybody was touching.
They arrived at Monique's party and found that it was very loud and packed from wall to wall. No one was dancing as much as they were rubbing….no grinding together. Dozens of bodies were entwined; with limbs flaying madly about as if some kind of sensual trance had taken over all the party guests.
With all the hard grinding and heat being generated Kim thought that it was a good thing that there wasn't any dry wood on the ground.
Ron stared at the crowd in awe. "Someone call Patrick Swayze cuz there's some serious dirty dancing going on here."
"Tell me about it."
"So" Ron stretched out his body "you want to dance?"
Kim's eyebrow arched
"That didn't come out as funny as my brain told me it would."
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"Some night we bailed on two parties."
"No prob" Ron replied "I didn't get enough sleep last night anyway so I'm pretty tired."
Half an hour after ditching Dean Roth's party Ron and Kim found themselves in front of Kim's off campus brownstone apartment building.
"So you want to come in?" Kim asked casually as she searched for her keys.
If words could knock someone out, Ron would have went down for a ten count
"What?"
"I said do you want to come in."
Seventy seconds and around thirty blinks later he said "no, yes….maybe, ok."
His body as stiff and rigid as a statue encased in cement, he quietly followed her into the house.
"Don't mind the mes---" she stopped in her tracks "Why are my lights on…..oh no!"
"Yo----"
----sis"
Kim stepped back in horror when, as if taken from a scene out of The Shining two identical figures popped out of her living room and into the main hallway.
"Tweebs! What are you doing here?"
Jim sighed "There was a problem at school---
----incident at the science lab." Tim added "They're talking suspension."
"Mom's pissed" Jim told them "So uh we decided to visit our sis."
"Until things calm down" Tim finished.
Jim looked up at Ron "who's this?"
"And why is he coming in at this time of night?" Tim asked leaving Kim to wonder if he was channeling her father.
Ron mumbled something inaudible.
"It's not what it looks like. Tweebs this is my friend Ron. Ron these are the tweebs."
"Yo, Tim….Jim…Hiya"
Jim stared suspiciously at Ron "Friend huh? You weren't expecting anything from our sister tonight were you?"
Ron ran his hands nervously together "maybe a cup of coffee."
Jim's face contorted in an exaggerated look of shock and moral outrage "Coffee? That sounds like a euphemism for intercourse to me Tim'
"Def" Tim replied "are you trying to get to know our sister Ron, and I mean know like in the biblical sense?"
Ron did a quick check of an imaginary watch on his wrist "Right I think it's time for me to go." He stumbled backwards into the door.
"Ron you don't…" Kim started
"No, no it's ok" he was already halfway out the door "I've got to wake up early tomorrow….I'll call you, sometime in the future."
He quickly slammed the door shut.
"Got rid of him in record time. Hicka bikka boo----
---Hoo Sha!"
Kim glowered at her brothers.
"What?! We were protecting your virtue!" Tim declared.
"Your honor was at stake" Jim announced.
They made a move to escape but Kim grabbed both of them by the back of the collars. "Where do you think you're going? The three of us are going to have a long talk about adult privacy."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"So?" Jake asked the second Ron stepped foot inside their apartment.
Ron closed the doors behind him "So what?"
"The party man, the party."
"Oh the party, yea that went along fine. Your cards were a great help too but it turns out I didn't really need them."
"Great, so what happened after the party?"
"Look I'm a gentleman I don't…"
"Nothing happened huh" Jake interjected, as he crossed his arms over his chest.
"Something might have happened, but then her brothers, and well, I don't……no nothing was or ever will be happening."
"You've landed in no man's land haven't you? You parachuted yourself right into the friend zone haven't you?"
"Look I've come to realize, on my way home, that she's not my type."
"What are you talking about? Who are you to make that decision?" Jake replied
"See the thing is 'out of my league' is a type of type. And clearly that's not my type."
Jake opened his arms out wide "you make no sense."
"Listen, I don't mind having her as a friend. She's cool. It could be fun, to have a gal pal, a female chum, a Señorita amigo. You can always use new friends."
Jake shook his head "here's my advice just be pathetic, because you're going to do that anyway."
"I don't have to stand here and take this….I'm." He remembered how he felt in between the time Kim had asked "Do you want to come in?" and when he was unpleasantly surprised by the twins "I'm going to take a series of cold, cold showers."
Five minutes later he stepped under the shower and let out a deep sigh. His brain set on self delusional and his memory repression on high, he replayed the night's events in his mind.
"I'll catch you on the rebound then" Nicholas retorted.
"Yea I'd hate to end this great repertoire we've got going on, but I tend to start fires when I get caught in conversations with jerks. And if I don't get moving soon I might light this place up like a Christmas tree."
"Why you son of a…" Nicholas swung at him.
The crowd gasped loudly as Ron deflected the attack right before he planted his elbow into Nicholas' midsection. Ron then followed that up with a massive uppercut that knocked Nicholas high upwards and backwards into the air. Nicholas performed three successive back flips before dropping onto a table filled with full champagne glasses.
"I guess the drinks are on him" Ron blurted, a sardonic grin on his face.
Kim skipped into the room "Ron, what's going on?"
"Craziest thing happened; he slipped right onto my fist and knocked himself out."
She looked at Nicholas' prone body "you didn't have to do that" she said smiling "but it is sweet."
He pointed at her "Check it mamacita, let's drop out of here like a rollercoaster. We can go chill back at my place."
She bit her lip "I don't know" she replied coyly
"The real party's over there, it's got everything you might need, music, drinks, and rapturous delight."
There was a mischievous glimmer in her eye "ok that sounds like fun."
"Cool' he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and led her to the exit "don't worry I won't bite, unless you want me too."
"Ah" Ron let the water ripple over his face. Thank you brain
Whenever he needed a break from reality, Ron's brain; a creative editor, could conveniently misremember certain events when asked to do so.
He replayed it again this time giving himself a suave French accent.
It may have gotten him into a few jams over his lifetime but he would never say that his brain wasn't wonderfully loyal.
A/N I really liked this chapter and I think it's one of the better ones in this story.
Ok did I do better with Kim this time or am I still flying blind.
There will be more Tweeb/Ron interactions in the next chapter (and possibly more of the Possibles) so you can look forward to that……..or not
Oh we've got a rival in love/antagonist now. You didn't think I would make this easy did you? (But do not fear I still pledge to keep the angst to a minimum)
A few people have asked for a new update to my other story Used to be Hero. Don't worry I'm working on it, but it's not that easy for me to get back in the flow of that story. But it should be one of my next two updates. Along with "I love you Ron Stoppable."