A/N OK Welcome back it's been um a few months unfortunately. But let's look at the positives, we have an update. Yay! I'd also like to say that the premise of this story was created from three movies one of which happened to be a movie called Allot like Love. I'm afraid I'm going have to start to diverge from my initial outline. The thing is if I stay on that path the story will be pretty long. And with all the stories I've got to work out it would make no sense for me to keep this one going when I could basically tell the story in less (quality) chapters. This story should still be longer than About A Ron. So there's still a bit of ways to go and it won't drastically change. I'll still be able to hopefully deliver the romantic comedy goodness.
Ron awoke to the glare of bright sunlight beating down on him from an open window. His sweat mixed with the chilled breeze of the morning air caused him to shudder involuntarily.
He crawled out of bed, washed unenthusiastically, slipped on his clothes and then proceeded to drop pellets into Rufus' cage.
"It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, eh buddy" he said gloomily
He watched as his pet nibbled drowsily at its breakfast.
"I'm glad you're my neighbor." Ron tapped lightly on the cage and then headed out the door
He found his roommate in the kitchen diving face first into a bowl of cereal.
Jake swallowed a mouthful as Ron took a seat beside him at the kitchen table. "You're up early."
Ron drummed his fingers against the table "rough night, bad dreams"
"Sucks"
"I think I might have given up to easily on Zita, maybe I should take another shot y'know. I mean Zita was a hot girl who actually liked me; do you how rare that is? That's Buffalo rare."
Jake shoveled some more cereal into his mouth. He savored the crunchy treat for a long time before gulping loudly. "What happened to uh more recent one? Why don't you take a swing at her?"
Ron blinked back at his roommate "um did you just ask me to sprout wings, jump out the window and fly to the Grand Canyon?"
"The Grand Canyon, that's pretty specific."
"With Zita there's a bridge, a broken bridge yes, but a bridge I believe can be repaired."
"Sometimes it's better to just build a new bridge, one completely from scratch, a stronger bridge if you will."
"It would be really foolish of me to try and build a bridge across the Grand Canyon."
"Again with the Grand Canyon?"
Ron smacked his hands against the table "Listen to me. Impulsiveness is not my friend, common sense is."
"But…"
"I've decided that I'm fine with being just friends."
"Really?"
"Yeah, I actually like being her friend. I really do, and this is not just 'Ron in denial' you of all people should know "Ron in denial' when you see him."
"I happen to be on a first name basis with "Ron in denial."
"This is not him, this is sincere Ron."
"Ok I get it" Jake slurped the remaining milk from his bowl and sighed contently "oh by the way she's on her way over."
"Who?"
"The more recent one"
Ron chuckled nervously "what?"
"She called, said it was an emergency and she was in the neighborhood."
"How does she know where I live?"
"I assume you told her"
"K' I did, I remember now, so when did she call?"
Jake shrugged "maybe ten….fifteen minutes ago"
"And you were going to tell me when?"
"When I finished my breakfast"
Ron sighed, leaned back in his chair and gazed up at the ceiling "how can I spin this as justifiable homicide?"
"Hey I can't get anything done until I've finished my breakfast."
Ron was seconds away from pouncing on his so called friend when the down stairs buzzer rang.
"You buzz her up…I got work to do." Ron reached down and dragged a stack of magazines from under the table.
"Hey careful with those I need them to find out what's hot. The business world is all about--"
"All about current trends, I know. But I'm taking your precious magazines anyway." Ron hoisted the stack off the ground and marched towards his room.
He placed a Time magazine on his night stand; he left an Entrepreneur monthly peeking out from underneath his bed just enough for the title to be seen, he left a USA Today on his counter, and the rest were scattered in various places around his room.
"What are you doing?" Jake said from the doorway
"I don't have time to clean up, but I do have time to stage a fantasy world where I seem like a better person than I am."
"Look at you. When was the last time you've panicked like this?"
Ron took a seat at the foot of his bed "I've got to admit I haven't panicked like this in a while."
"You know what this means right?"
Ron exchanged stares with his roommate "and if I did, I'm not saying I do, but if I did why would it matter?"
They heard knocking on the front door
"I'll let her in" Jake told Ron
"Hello"
Ron jumped to his feet and embraced Kim. "Hey" he greeted.
"Hey" she returned. Then she strolled past him into the room
With a smile on her face she said "huh you didn't have to clean up for my sake."
"Well unfortunately I had to fire the maid. I suspected she was dipping into my priceless collection of pennies."
"It's so hard to find good help these days" She paced and surveyed the messy room "so this is the domain of Ron Stoppable, it's kind of what I expected."
"OH HO and what is that supposed to mean?"
A mischievous smirk came over her face "I'm just saying this room seems…..Ronnish"
"What exactly is Ronnish?" he said as casually as he could
"I can't define it, but I know it when I see It." she replied. Then she reached down and picked a magazine off the floor
"Right but thing is that---"
"Is this your magazine?"
He cleared his throat "every now and then I like to chill and read about things that interest me."
"So how much of the one hundred ways to please your man have you memorized."
The room lapsed into silence
"Or maybe you're trying to lose thirty pounds in three days," Clearly amused Kim began to skim through the magazine. "Wait I know, you want to get on the fast track to love."
As Kim flipped through the pages, Ron quietly shuffled over to her, gently snatched the magazine out of her hand, tossed it out of his room and slammed the door shut.
"I seriously don't know how that got in here. The truth is I don't even know how to read"
"Hey I was just a few pages away from unlocking the secrets of true love."
Ron waved his hands in the air dismissively "Pffft….You don't need that magazine I can tell you all about love."
She crossed her arms over her chest and arched her eyebrow "oh really? I'm all ears."
He balked under her gaze "I uh…well love…love is love it can't be explained."
Again, she stared at him in silence. Then she said "Huh…you Ron Stoppable are---
"Wise, complex, mysterious……handsome?"
"Uh I was going to say interesting"
He nodded in approval "I can live with interesting. So what brings you to casa de Ron?"
It was just about then that he noticed that she was eying something across the room. Before he could mount a protest she had already made a beeline towards Rufus' cage.
"What's this?"
"That's um…he's uh…"
Kim peered into the cage "your pet?"
"Yeah"
"Is it some kind of gerbil?"
"No actually" he coughed into his fist "he's a naked mole rat."
Her head cocked to one side she gave him a quizzical look "naked mole rat, that is unusual."
"No it's not unusual, it's normal, perfectly normal and American like apple pie and baseball."
"Amp down" she told him. She couldn't help but be slightly taken aback by his reaction and this didn't go unnoticed by Ron.
Shoulders slumped; Ron's gaze fell to the ground "I'm I just…You're totally freaked out right? I know you want to leave; you can leave if you want to. I'll just hang around and do something."
She waved her hand before his down turned face until he lifted his head "Look if I didn't want to be here, I would have already left. Trust me."
He took a moment to study her face "actually I think you would stay for awhile even if everything in this room weirded you out."
"Now why would I do that?"
"Because it's polite and you wouldn't want to be rude"
"Oh is that what you really think?" she challenged
He nodded "that's what I really think."
"You want to know what I think" she pointed at the cage "I think this Molerat is definitely Ronnish."
He let out a sigh that to his surprise was immediately followed up by soft laughter "I'm going to sit down."
"Is that breaking news?"
"I see you've mastered sarcasm" Ron hopped onto his bed "his name by the way is Rufus."
Kim peered back at the cage "Rufus obviously"
"Ok back on topic what are you doing in my neck of the woods?"
"Yes right, the issue at hand. Ron I need a favor, you've only got night classes on Wednesday right?"
He watched as she paced across the room while explaining the predicament. And from what he could gather her brothers had spent most of the week at her house, apparently they didn't plan on leaving until their suspension was over. Surprisingly it wasn't the hellish nightmare that Kim had imagined. In fact at certain points she found that she was having a good time. But there was one drawback; she couldn't leave them in the house alone for too long.
"Why?" he asked.
"You don't know my brothers. If I leave them alone for more than three hours they will get bored. And when they get bored they get destructive."
"They can't be that bad."
She laughed
For a long time.
"Ron I am one hundred percent positive that if I spend the entire day out as planned I will return to a ruined home. I have very important appointments lined up for today, I can't miss them but I can't leave my brothers at home."
"That's pretty rough."
"I know I'm really in a pickle here"
"Right" he replied.
"I'm at wits end"
"Yep"
"I'm caught between a rock and a hard place Ron."
"Damned if you do and damned if you don't"
She threw her hands up in exasperation "What is this, dueling clichés"
"Wait a minute" Ron said as he finally put the pieces into place "You want me to watch over them?"
"Would you?" she asked sweetly
"What about um Monique?"
"She refu….um she's actually really busy today."
"You couldn't find anyone else?"
Her eyes narrowed "Are you implying that I don't have any friends?"
"No, no you have Monique obviously."
"And others, I know allot of people" she muttered,
Ron's hands rose up to his shoulders "I have no doubt you are very, very popular"
"Ok" she ran her own hands up and down her arms "and besides I trust you."
He let the words process in his mind "for reals?"
"For real"
"You sure?" he asked skeptically
She let out a sigh, and lowered her head. A second later she looked up, her face brimming with innocence, her eyes were shinning, and her bottom lip protruded slightly. The puppy-dog pout was set into place
10 AM:
"What was that?" Ron asked as he stepped past her front door.
Kim glanced over her shoulder "what was what?"
"That Jedi mind trick you did to me back there."
"I have no idea what you're talking about" she told him as they walked into her living room.
There they found the twins. Tim clicked away with the television remote as he languished lazily on the couch. Jim sat on the ground before the couch typing away at a silver notebook.
"Hey guys"
The two brother's heads came up at the same time.
"You guy's remember Ron right."
"Yo, Jim, Tim"
"Oh it's the 'just a friend" Tim remarked
"Yes you're right I am your sister's friend."
"So you say" Jim declared
"So you claim" Tim added
"Ok" Ron sighed "this is uncomfortable"
Kim peered down at her wrist watch "oh look at the time I've got a very important appointment to get to." She clapped her hands together "you guys have fun, I'll see you later"
"Wait a minute!" Tim leaped off the couch "This is mom's old gimmick; she used to pull this with Kim. You're trying to unload a baby sitter on us."
"A babysitter? We're like totally fifteen." Jim said.
"Guys, guys you've got it all wrong. Ron's not here to baby-sit, he's here to keep company and to keep my home from burning down."
"Kim come on, you can trust us" Tim pleaded.
"Of course, I totally trust you guys. I also trust Ron. And……...that's why; while I'm gone it's in my best interest to have the house packed with people I trust."
"But…"
Her attention went back to the watch "oh gotta go, so late"
Hurried foot steps
The front door slammed
Silence
Ron turned to the twins "Um yeah"
"Hey, its Ron right…Do you have a cell phone Ron?" Tim asked.
He nodded.
"Can I see it?"
"Sure" Ron fished out his phone and tossed it to Tim, who wordlessly flipped it open before plopping back down on the couch.
Ron stood motionless in the center of the room sucking in the silence.
"I'm sure we're going to have a bon-diggety good time."
"What the heck does bon-diggety mean?" Jim said without bothering to look away from the notebook's screen.
"Uh I believe it's Latin."
"No it's not"
"Yes it is, it means "welcome to a time of happiness…Hail Caesar"
Jim glimpsed briefly at Ron before returning to the keyboard "you're lying, badly"
"Are you sure?"
"I'm positive. I took Latin in my freshman year, aced it."
Ron found that he was genuinely impressed "now I remember, you guys are geniuses right?"
"That's what the schools say."
"So if you don't mind me asking how smart are you guys?"
"You tell us" Tim placed a jumble of wires circuits and plastic onto the coffee table "I just turned your cell phone into a random number generator."
Suddenly the robotic voice that usually guided Ron through his voice mail options loudly announced the number four fives in a row then it fizzled into an irritating high pitched whine before going completely silent
Ron stared down at what was once his cell "that, wasn't random."
"How would you know?" Tim countered.
Stunned, Ron lowered himself into Kim's armchair and mulled over the remark. Eventually he announced "I think my mind has just been blown."
It was at that moment that Tim leaned over and whispered into his brother's ear. Jim pushed the notebook away, climbed up to the couch and returned the action. After that they both sat shoulder to shoulder and stared into Ron's eyes.
"Ok enough banter let's get down to the nitty gritty" Jim said
Ron's eyebrows furrowed "nitty, gritty?"
"Ron Tim and I have a proposition for you."
It dawned on Ron that there were few things in the world more disturbing than having two pairs of identical eyes staring holes into one's body.
"For forty dollars we will allow you to have one hour of access to our sister's underwear drawer. That's twenty for the first hour and an additional ten fifty for each additional half hour after the allotted time."
"Wait a minute, what?" Ron stammered.
"Listen carefully dude. For forty bucks you can rummage through our sister's unmentionables and do whatever you want to them. Whatever you want and we won't say a word."
"Our lips are sealed." Jim made a zipping gesture
"Mmmmff mmmfff mmmff" Tim added.
"What did he say?"
Jim mimed the unzipping of his mouth "he said, deal or no deal?"
Ron replied without hesitation "see the last time I checked I wasn't that desperate or a perv, so I'll have to say no deal."
As Jim kept his eyes on Ron Tim muttered something into his twin's ear. When he was done he watched Ron as his brother performed the same action, and so they went back and forth.
Jim reached for his notebook "Alright you passed the first round, just give me a moment to enter the data and process it."
"Passed, first round, data?"
"Just so you know, we lied" Tim stated. "If you had answered differently we would have been forced to tell Kim that she's dating a creep…."
"Um we're not dating."
"….And that she has bad taste in music. I've been meaning to tell her that for years" Jim affixed.
"So that was some type of test?"
Tim nodded "it was a type of test yes."
"And I was being tested on what exactly?"
"All will be answered when the complete results are processed."
Ron picked himself out of the chair "let's just get something straight your sister and I are not dating."
"Who said you were?"
"You did' he pointed at Tim "you said we were dating."
Tim turned to Jim "did I say anything like that?"
"Nope, it didn't even occur to me until he brought it up."
Tim laughed "sounds like a Freudian slip to me"
"I get it, you guys are playing me. You're playing me right?"
The twins simply shrugged.
"You know what; maybe I should hang out in the kitchen till your sister comes back."
Amusement written all over there faces the tweebs watched as Ron shuffled away.
"Tweaking him is almost as easy as tweaking Kim."
"And just as fun, hicka bicka boo--"
They pounded fists "-----Hoo sha"
12:00
"RON!"
Upon hearing his name called out Ron made a mad dash into the living room "what, is there a fire? Is there something wrong?"
He scanned the room; Jim was now hooking up a video game system to the television and Tim was lounging on the couch with the notebook lying on his chest.
"Actually there's no emergency we're just hungry. However we do appreciate the enthusiasm, for our well being" Jim said.
Ron rubbed his face vigorously with his hands "what?"
"It's lunch time. And I'm thinking you should order us a pizza"
"Ok the problem with that is I don't really have the cash …"
Jim flicked on the game system and hopped onto the couch "you hear that Tim he's broke. Have you ever seen Kim date a broke guy?"
"Not I brother, every guy I've seen Kim with has been well off."
"See that doesn't really bother me because I'm not interested in your sister in that way."
"Great then you've got nothing to worry about" Tim started to type away "let me just put a note here, lack of sufficient funds"
Ron gently massaged his forehead "Alright, I've got some claude on me but…."
"Oh so you're just cheap, make note of that Tim"
"……..You can only have one topping."
"Two or else"
"Or else what?" Ron said incredulously "What are you two going to do to me?"
"How about if we Photoshop a picture of your face on a baboon and then email it to everyone in the state."
"That might be greatest follow up to "or else' that I have ever heard. It would suck having it done to me but I gotta say I would appreciate its brilliance
The twins smiled "we try our best."
Ron closed his eyes and exhaled deeply. When he reopened them he was staring directly at the television. The intro movie of Jim's video game was being displayed on the screen.
"I have a proposition for you guys, how about if we play a little of this…." He pretended to squint to see the screen "…Street Kombat 4 and if I can beat you guys, we'll agree to only one topping. If you win you get two."
"Have you ever played this game before?" Jim inquired.
"I swear I've never played this particular game before."
"It's a deal, Tim scoot down" They made room for Ron on the couch and handed him a game controller.
"I wish somebody was recording this. The world may never see ownage like this again" Jim gloated.
12:05
"What happened?" Jim cried
"Oh did you miss all that?" Ron grinned triumphantly "you see what happened was I purposely let my life bar go down below twenty percent; you know just to give you some false hope. Then I parried your super attack, I countered all your strikes, and then I hit you with an endless stream of rapid fire combos."
"I thought you said you never played this game before"
"I haven't, but I mastered Street Kombat 1, 2, and 3 and sadly these games don't really change that much over the years."
"I'm up next" Tim proclaimed "Jim may have underestimated you but I've seen your moves, I've seen your style. You can't win."
"Be prepared dude because I'm going to put all my strength, all my power, and all my love into this fight. Everything I've got is coming at you right now."
Tim's eyes narrowed as he stared at Ron "I must break you."
"Bring it then"
12:10
"I can't believe I only got three hits in."
It's….it's inconceivable" Jim lamented.
"Fellas, fellas" Ron crowed "let me explain something. When you guys were learning to walk, I was playing these kinds of games. In my teenage years I had nothing to do with most of my time except play video games. That makes me a battle hardened veteran. The difference here is not overall talent but experience."
Tim slammed his fists against the carpeted floor "one more round" he roared.
Ron picked up on the dash of excitement in his voice "Never been pushed this far eh?"
"I will not back down from this challenge"
"Ah youth, wrap your genius minds around this one tweebs. I'll beat you guys nine times out of eight. That means I'll beat you more times than we actually played. My skills transcend space, time and logic."
"No more smack talk only action" the twins said in unison.
1:30
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Jim cried.
"We couldn't win a single round even with our best characters! His technique is impenetrable" Tim moaned aloud.
Jim tossed his controller onto the ground "The controller is not working properly, the A.I is corrupted, there's a glare coming off the TV that's blinding me."
Ron made a sympathetic sound Tsk Tsk "Maybe you're just bad"
Jim drew in a breath and chuckled softly before leaping at Ron and tackling him to the ground.
"Dogpile!" Without giving it a second thought Tim joined the fray.
1:43
Gasping for air, sweat dripping from their foreheads, Ron and the twins lay sprawled along the living room floor.
"That was kind of awesome" Tim laughed
"Which one of you guys put me in that wrestling hold?"
Jim raised his hand "that was me."
"That was classic stuff; I didn't know you guys liked wrestling."
"Who doesn't?" Tim told him.
Jim clucked "Kim doesn't. I think you're forgetting that she doesn't like allot of cool things
Ron sat up "hey I'm not surprised. Compared to guys you won't find that many female wrestling fans in the world. That's just how it is."
"Sometimes I think girls use a different part of the brain then we do" Jim remarked.
"Yeah like how most guys can only see primary colors. I mean you show me purple and I see purple. You show a girl purple and she sees Royal Fuchsia."
They burst into laughter.
"Your sister is different I think. She might say she's a basic average girl, but she, she's something else…" Ron's words trailed off.
"Maybe" Jim said
"But really most girls are downright strange" Tim said.
"They're yucky" Jim giggled
"And they all have cooties" Ron continued. Then he sighed and gazed off into space "but man there is literally nothing on this planet as gorgeous as a woman. So soft…And they come in so many different shapes and sizes that you just wish you could….." he stopped when he noticed the stares.
"Wow I really went off on a tangent there. Wasn't I supposed to be ordering a pizza?"
"One topping right? Make it pepperoni" Jim said.
Ron clambered to his feet "I think we might be able to spring for pepperoni and mushrooms."
Tim and Jim exchanged glances as Ron went in search of the phone.
"New data" Tim muttered under his breath.
"Most definitely let's get on it."
Kim slapped her phone shut and pocketed her cell phone "Ron would call me if my house was on fire right?"
Monique shook her head "Kim you need to learn to stop worrying about your own problems and start worrying about celebrities."
She shoved a magazine under Kim's nose "look at Linzah, sources say she is two pukes away from perfection."
Kim gently pushed the magazine away and took a sip of coffee from a small plastic cup "I also feel bad about dumping them on Ron. You never know what you're going to get with the tweebs sometimes they're sweet and other times they're complete nightmares."
She took another sip "it's not like I don't have other things to worry about."
"Yes stalking a professor is worrisome."
"Stalking?"
"How else would you explain why we've been standing out here for the past thirty minutes?"
"Personally I would call it an example in perseverance and drive."
Monique closed her eyes "I can see the end result now Kimberly McBeal, strutting down the streets in a pair of Manolo Blahniks, a latte in one hand and a leather briefcase bursting with case notes in the other."
"You mock?"
"Hardly, I approve wholeheartedly. You've got passion; passion in any form is a wonderful thing. And speaking of passion, recently there has been an influx of potential suitors who have approached me on your behalf."
"Approached you?"
"I have had two inquires about your status this weekend. One happens to be from Neil Parker."
"They guy with the wide rimmed glasses and the pretentious pony tails?"
"Ok we'll scratch that name off the list, next one John Freeman"
Kim groaned
"What? John's a pretty good looking guy."
"Yea but he's so boring, we were in the same public speaking class last semester and every time he gave a report, he put half the class to sleep."
Monique began thumbing through her magazine. "Fair enough I'll let the boys know, with all the politeness in the world of course, that their applications have been rejected."
Kim drained the rest of her coffee "Monique why did they approach you about my weekend plans instead of coming to me directly."
"Did you want them to approach you?"
Kim tossed the plastic cup into a nearby trash bin "no but still…"
Monique averted her gaze "maybe some guys are afraid of you?"
"Afraid of me? You're kidding" Kim said with a look of bewilderment
"Allot of me are afraid of powerful, successful women…plus" she placed a hand on Kim's shoulder "since you broke up with Nicholas the people in his circles have been playing a game called aspiring female students or frigid…well it rhymes with witches."
Kim's hands clenched in tight fists at her sides "go on"
"Well girl some of those jerks are placing you on the B side."
"I should have hit him when I had the chance" Kim seethed.
Abruptly her train of murderous thoughts was derailed when an older gentleman in a brown suit exited the building they had been staking out.
"I have no time to waste on some stupid list" Kim waved her hands in the air enthusiastically "Professor Albert, Professor Albert"
"Ah Miss Possible" the Professor announced as Kim rushed towards him "I've been wondering why you haven't chosen a suitable partner for the team project."
Kim stopped in her tracks "oh about that, I don't need any extra help Professor."
"What's that?"
"I'm saying I don't need a partner I can do it on my own. In fact I've already completed most of the assignment on my own."
The Professor gave her a curious stare "that is highly unusual."
"But very possible"
"Possibly a bit arrogant?" he said slyly
"No sir not arrogance, only confidence."
"Kimberly you are a very ambitious individual. But I worry about the pressure that you seem to be putting on yourself. From what I hear from the other Professors you have a very aggressive schedule."
Kim's smile ran from ear to ear "I appreciate your concerns professor. But I want to be the best I can be sir. I won't be the best if I can't overcome these challenges alone."
"Is that so?"
"It is not my intention to boast but I feel…no I know that I can do anything."
Albert nodded "very well. If you're not here to discuss the team assignment, why are you here?"
"Sir I was wondering if you've come to a decision on which of your students will be selected to study aboard this summer."
"I have not."
"I would hope that you keep me in mind during the selection process. I know if I was selected I would take full advantage of the opportunity afforded me."
"I'll be sure to keep that especially in mind, Miss Possible"
"Thank you sir" Kim turned on her heels and walked back to where Monique was waiting.
"How did it go?" Monique asked.
"One word…..spankin'" Kim told her gleefully.
Their faces masked with worry, Ron and the tweebs looked down upon the broken stereo. A loud gulp could be heard coming from each of them.
Ron grabbed a handful of hair "how did this happen?"
"I think it happened when we tried to do a double German suplex on you."
Ron chuckled "oh yeah that was pretty cool."
"Obviously that was cool" Tim remarked "but what we must focus on now is which one of us will sacrifice himself to Kim so the other two can get away. I vote Ron."
"It was an accident maybe she'll understand."
Tim and Jim stared at Ron as if he had gone mad.
"Jim and I know better. This will make Kim angry. You wouldn't like her when she's angry."
"Actually I've seen Kim angry" Ron paused for a moment "and you're right we're doomed."
"Don't panic" Jim said emphatically "Tim and I can rebuild it; nay we can make it better than it was before."
Ron pointed to himself "I'll supervise and by supervise I mean watch from a distance."
3:15
As he watched quietly, Tim and Jim went to work on the damaged stereo using tools and electrical equipment that the twins, for some odd reason; carried with them wherever they went.
"Hey you guys want to hear a joke?"
Jim lifted a speaker over his head and inspected it "shoot"
"What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?
"What?"
"A cereal killer"
Ron chuckled to himself as the twins groaned.
3:23
"I'm not saying I would embrace the dark powers of the Universe. But I have thought about it." Ron snatched three bottles of soda from the kitchen and made his way back to the living room.
He handed two of the bottles to the twins.
"Imagine driving along the highway with the theme to Rosemary's baby blasting from your radio. You could flip cars over with a flick of your wrist, turn people to stone with you eyes, summon brimstone down from the sky to smite your enemies. And best of all you get to have a long, black flowing leather cape that for some reason moves in slow motion in the wind."
Jim took a swig of soda "that does sound pretty cool."
"That's not just cool it's badical beyond belief. You'd have it all, money, power---"
Tim closed his eyes and blurted "hot, naked sex in palaces built in my honor"
Ron's eyes went wide "wow those hormones are something else aren't they? I had almost forgotten what it was like to be fifteen."
Jim punched his brother on the shoulder "idiot, you said naked sex, that's totally redundant. You have to be naked to have sex. What kind of sex can you have when you're not naked?"
He then looked to Ron as if awaiting confirmation.
"Well um…there is…..maybe you guys should get back to work."
3:37
"You're the geniuses what do you guys think?"
Tim ran his hands under his chin "I don't know, sometimes I imagine that death is like slowly falling backwards into a black hole"
Ron shuddered violently "k' now I know I'm not getting any sleep tonight"
3:40
Ron looked on as Jim and Tim removed the cover of the chassis.
"I wonder if this is going to void the warranty."
The twins ignored him and continued working.
3:42
Lying down beside the back of the couch Ron whistled softly to the ceiling "you know if ants were the size of turkeys. We'd all be in chains."
Tim stopped combing through a jumble of wires and glanced at his brother
"What?" They said simultaneously
3:51
His head lowered Ron released a mournful sigh "before you know it I was looking out the window, staring at a full moon singing "Somewhere Out There" and then my aunt walked into the room. Our relationship has never been the same since."
Tim quickly screwed in the back panel of the stereo before discreetly ducking behind it. "Dude he's got issues, he been talking for almost ten minutes. It's the weirdest thing I've ever seen."
Jim joined him behind the panel "You're right it is pretty awesome. We've got to remember to add that to our database."
4:30
"Dancing? I'm not doing any dancing."
Ron shrugged "the girl's in a dance class right? You can join the class and try to get close to her, maybe even impress her with a few moves"
He jerked his thumb over his shoulder in the direction of the kitchen "what about your brother? Does he have a crush on the same girl?"
'What, you think just because we're twins we have the same tastes in girls?"
"Sure" Ron said. "You're basically clones of each other right?"
Jim rolled his eyes "Tim's kind of a chubby chaser."
"Hey I heard that! Just because I like healthy looking girls---"
Jim cut his brother off "yeah, yeah I know." He turned his attention back to Ron "so dancing huh?"
"Listen I know you're skeptical. I know I'd be skeptical too. Just look at me, girls aren't exactly lining up the block to be with the Ronster"
"That's exactly what I was thinking."
"Ok that hurt me, but I'm going to move past the pain and explain that though it may have been a once in a lifetime deal I at one point had a girlfriend. And she was out of me league in the looks department. The thing you need to understand is me getting her might have arguably been a miracle but me keeping her for three years took skill….After the first date it was all skill."
Jim's interest was now piqued "go on"
"I've done the research" he said "most of the time you don't even need to be yourself."
"What do you mean?"
Ron shook his head "ok scratch that last thing."
He put his hands up to eye level "you see these hands, foot massages and body rubs" he tapped his mouth with his forefinger "you see this mouth, compliments whenever possible. What I'm saying is I took the time to figure out what it took to make my ex happy."
"Didn't she break up with you?"
"Not the point….The point is she liked dancing so I took dance classes. I also learned the right compliments. As the relationship advanced then came the foot massages, flowers, cunningllllllll listening. Yes you need listening skills I once watched the entire Fearless Ferret Director's cut as my ex girlfriend talked about her day. I picked up on every word."
"But a dance class? I'll be the only guy there."
"Even better no competition. Look at it this way you're going to the class to get a girl to notice you. Name one thing in the world manlier than the act of trying to attract girls?"
Tim entered the room and stood beside his brother "he makes a good point"
Jim nodded "ok I hear you but I can't go in that class as a total noob, teach me something."
Ron looked surprised "teach you what?"
"Dancing duh, teach me something, anything."
"Um, shouldn't we be working on the stereo?"
"We? Anyway Tim and I finished that half an hour ago when you were telling us how you once got first degree burns from a calzone."
"Really?" Ron scratched his head. "Ok I guess I can show you guys a little something."
5:00
What is love oh
baby, don't hurt me. Don't hurt me no more. Oh, baby don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
Tim and Jim sauntered awkwardly into the middle of the room, they clumsily performed a brief spin and in unison, their heads bopped to the music.
Whoa whoa whoa, oooh
oooh
Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh
The music suddenly cut off
"No, no, no, no" Ron stated "that was all wrong!"
"What, what did we do wrong this time?" Jim whined.
"The moves were robotic, there's no passion. And your facial expressions, you look like you were getting a tetanus shot. On the dance floor your faces have to smolder."
"Smolder?"
"When you're on the floor the dance moves and the face must ask "who's your daddy" and they must answer "yes I AM your daddy"
He sighed "let me show you what I'm talking about. Jim you pay close attention, Tim you give me something sexy to work with."
A moment loud beat pulsed through the house, Ron's feet tapped against the floor "what you're hearing is what those in the know call grind music. The only reason it exists is for two people to grind into each like wooden sticks so that you start a fire, if you catch my drift."
"No I don't but I like the way it sounds" Jim exclaimed.
Ron snatched a pillow off the couch "OK the following should only be done when you're of proper legal age and married."
"What was that? A public service announcement?"
"It would be irresponsible for me to---
"Just show us already" Jim said.
"Alright what you got to do is let the music flow through. Don't conquer it let it conquer you. This pillow represents your chi—wife" he placed the pillow near his abdomen.
Holding the pillow by its lower half he said "chances are if you are at a party and this is the type of music being played. You'll be facing her back, so during the song you may want to hold her gently by the waist like so. Girls tend to lose themselves to the music allot faster than guys, so if you keep your cool and keep surprises from the "pants monster" to a minimum eventually the girl will trust you enough to put her arms around your neck and push back against you. This might not automatically make her your girl, but it does mean that she likes you enough at the moment to let loose."
Jim rubbed his hands together "Sweet"
"The key here is moving your hips and hers together…and remember friction my amigos that's the spice of life." He lifted the pillow up to his chest "now here's a special move I developed. When your bodies are moving at the same rhythm and you're practically one organism. You can put your hand on her back and knead it a little. Then you lean in and nuzzle her neck softly; let out a sigh or maybe even a growl so that your warm and hopefully fresh breath will tickle the back of her neck."
Ron grinned "at this point if done correctly your girl—wife should be at the peak of um excitement, that's when you hit her with your best stuff. This worked a hundred percent of the time on Zita, even when she was angry with me. What you do is, you act like you're about to nibble on her earlobe but at the last second you say "girl you look so….."
Someone cleared their throat.
There was such a note of disapproval in the sound that it startled Ron causing him to drop the pillow. He slowly lifted his head to find Kim standing at the entrance of the living room directly across from him.
She frowned "What's going on here?"
Visibly flustered Ron turned to the tweebs "what's going on here?"
"That's what I just asked you."
Tim threw his hands in the air "Oh Kim ruining our fun. Who saw that coming?"
"This isn't fun, this is… I don't know what this is. What is this?" she asked Ron.
"What is this?" Ron asked the tweebs.
Jim stepped before Kim "we're trying to learn something important here."
"Like what?" she asked dubiously.
"Like how to get a girlfriend" Tim replied.
Kim froze "You…you guys are looking for girlfriends?"
"We're fifteen what do you think?" they shouted at her. "Ron was trying to help."
"Yea I guess you are fifteen" She bit her bottom lip "you know you guys could have come to me---"
"Come to you? You wanted us to come to you about chicks?"
"First of all you can stop with the "chick" stuff. If you really want girls to notice you, you can start off by being gentlemen"
"Gentlemen?" Jim said in amazement. "Is that your advice?"
Kim nodded "Yeah, like buying flowers, holding doors, pulling out chairs."
The room fell into silence.
"Oh my God this is awkward" Jim muttered.
Tim's gaze fell to the ground "we might as well have asked mom."
Kim opened her arms out wide "What, I'm trying to help."
Tim placed his hand on his brother's shoulder and spoke into his ear. Again when he was done Jim did the same.
"If you want to help, dance with Ron, you're a better reference point than a pillow."
"What?" Kim and Ron cried out in unison.
"He was giving us lessons on how to dance with girls before you barged in. Don't you think we should finish the lesson?"
Kim exchanged looks with Ron "um"
Jim started "Listen if you do this for us we promise------
---------we'll go back home tomorrow." Tim concluded.
"Aren't your suspensions lifted the day after tomorrow?"
Tim turned to his brother "whoa what happened to the fun? Someone must have sucked it all out of the room."
"Ok fine I'll help, but none of that freaky stuff."
Ron raised his right hand in the air and used his left to make a cross over his heart "Cross my heart hope to die, stick a needle in my eye."
"Good." She walked up to him and clasped her right hand into his left and took a familiar dancing stance "Alright Professor Love, get on with the lesson."
"Ok, so we're going for gentlemanly behavior right?"
"Yes we are" Kim told him
He took a deep breath "Jim Tim, unlike the last dance we're not trying to start a "fire" so a lot less friction here is key. Slow dances are kinda more about soft touches then uh grinding"
"So what should we play?" Jim inquired.
"Um…try track fourteen. That should work for this" he answered.
A slow tune filled the room.
"To be safe you'll to want to put your right hand on her left hip. But if you're really close to the girl like very much in love or something like that, you can put your hand on her---
"Hey" Kim warned.
"----back on her back" Ron placed his hand on the small of her back and smiled "is that ok with you?"
She shivered slightly under his touch "I'm fine….I'm just now noticing how big your hands are."
Ron continued "with your hand there during the song you can rub her back gently as you move in the slow rhythm."
"That…..that actually, feels kind of nice" Kim said.
"During the dance you should be looking into her eyes---
He stared and she met his gaze.
------if things are going good. Feel free to talk to your partner, slow dances are pretty much all about interactions.
Love I get so lost, sometimes, days pass and this emptiness fills my heart. When I want to run away, I drive off in my car, but whichever way I go. I come back to the place you are
"So I'm on this list aspiring student or frigid b-word. Can you believe it?"
"That's so wrong." He said with all sincerity.
They went around the room several times, very slowly and carefully. Then he began to turn with each step, so that they whirled around a bit in very slow motion.
"I mean what's wrong me, why are guys coming to Monique instead of talking to me directly?"
"Honestly, you are kind of intimidating."
'What does that even mean? How am I intimidating? Please tell me how."
"I don't know what the other guys are thinking, but I saw you knock out a huge thug with your fist."
Kim blushed "Oh right, I forgot. Hey you're not supposed to tell me the truth; you're supposed to be making me feel better."
He looked at her thoughtfully "well for what it's worth, I would most definitely have placed you in column A. You're a little headstrong yeah but you've got goals, you're motivated. You want to get the most out of school, doing things I know nothing about, you should be proud of that."
All my instincts, they return, and the grand facade, so soon will burn without a noise, without my pride. I reach out from the inside.
Kim wrapped her arms Ron's neck and leaned into him "Hey I'm sorry about snapping at you when I came in."
"It's no big, looking at it from the outside; it probably would have shocked anyone."
She grinned "I think the most shocking thing is that I had a home to come to--"
They moved in sweeping circles around the center of the room.
"Your brothers are alright."
"In small doses sure. More importantly though they seem to like you."
"I know I'm as surprised as you are"
"You shouldn't be surprised you're a nice guy."
"Yes my one redeeming quality."
She rolled her eyes "you have other qualities"
"Like?"
"You're quirky."
"Wow, stop the presses" he laughed.
"And you're a good listener too" She pressed closer to him and placed her head against his shoulders
"In your eyes, the
light the heat, in your eyes, I am complete, in your eyes. I see the
doorway to a thousand churches, in your eyes the resolution of all
the fruitless searches
in your eyes, I see the light and the heat
in your eyes oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the
light, the heat I see in your eyes."
Kim sighed and closed her eyes "So are we supposed to just keeping dancing or is there another step to this lesson Professor?"
Softly he said "I'm afraid if I take this a step further you might end up hurting me."
"Huh?"
"Well at the end of the song I'm supposed to surprise you with a dip and a kiss."
"Oh"
"I'm pretty sure if I did that without warning you'd probably toss me over your shoulders" he chuckled.
She opened her mouth to reply but nothing came out.
Tim nudged his brother in the rib cage "This is making my stomach turn."
"I know, but check it out, the listening gimmick really works."
"Yeah you better be taking notes, and you better have the web cam on."
Jim glanced over his shoulder at their notebook which was discreetly positioned behind a vase "oh yes this is definitely blackmail-worthy."
"Awesome."
"So what about our data?" Jim asked
"It'll be incomplete until we do some testing on the home front."
Jim watch as Kim and Ron performed another spin "alright Ron's completely forgotten about us, and we've already gotten at least five minutes worth of them dancing. Can we tell them to stop now I'm about to hurl."
Tim shook his head "Nah not yet."
"Why not?"
"You'll figure it out when you're older."
"What are you talking about? You're only older by three minutes" Jim scoffed before returning his attention to Kim and Ron.
"Oh." He said after watching his sister dance for another minute or so. "I see"
"Thanks again for helping out."
Kim walked Ron past the doorway and onto the street
"No prob. I had fun" he said.
Abruptly a grinning Tim stuck his head out of the living room window "So did we, for most of the week actually and that's not something we expected when we decided to come over here."
"Are you saying I'm not fun? I'm fun right Ron?"
"She's definitely fun guys. If she wasn't, I wouldn't hang out with her."
Jim squeezed in beside Tim "Really? Are you sure we're talking about the same kind of fun?"
Kim's face glowed red "alright tweebs back inside!"
"Don't get your undies in a bunch sis. Ron catch" Tim extended his out the window and tossed an object to Ron.
"Be careful it might be a bomb" Kim warned.
Ron stared at the object and a smile came to his face "It's my cell phone; I must have forgotten it inside. Thanks guys."
"Don't mention it" Tim said. "Oh before I forget, Ron you said your parent's live in Middleton too right? Pretty close to ours?"
"I said that?"
"We're pretty sure you did during one of your ramblings."
"I don't know if I rambled, but ok. They do live in Middleton."
Jim gave his brother a discreet wink "here's the thing if you don't have any plans our grandmother's birthday is next week. Kim's probably going to come down, so you can come with her, and we can hang out or something."
"W...what?"
"We're inviting you as our personal guest. It would be rude and ill advised for you not to come."
"Um" Ron looked to Kim for help.
"Tweebs I'm not sure mom and dad will be…."
Tim cut her off "It'll be fine. We'll handle the technicalities. Ron we look forward to seeing you there."
Without another word the twins swiftly ducked back into the house, leaving Kim and Ron alone on the street.
She said "listen you're not really obligated to come----
He said "if it's ok with you and your folks I'd be happy to---
They paused.
He said "then again I don't want to intrude------
She said "who knows maybe it'll be fun.-------
Another pause.
"Jinx"
"Jinx"
"Double jinx"
"Double jinx"
"How about we call this one a draw?" Ron said quickly
"Draw it is…and in the unlikely event that my 'rents say yes. I don't see why we couldn't travel to Middleton together. It's definitely not that long of a trip."
"Sounds like a semi plan to me" he replied with a smirk on his face.
They said their goodbyes and Kim watched as Ron walked down the block and turned the corner. Back inside her house Tim handed her the wireless house phone.
"It's all taken care of. Mom says Ron could come" he said with a snicker before running off.
"Really?" Kim put the phone to her ear "mom?"
"Hey sweetie, it's been awhile I'm looking forward to seeing you and meeting your new boyfriend. The boys are just raving about him."
"TWEEBS!"
A/N Hopefully you liked that and it makes up for the months of absence.
More Possibles! (next chapter) and a few Stoppable's (in the next few chapters)
So..
What did you think about Ron and the tweebs?
And of course since Kim is my biggest problem in this story. Tell me what you think about her.
Offtopic: Oh and if you have the time check out my original one shot (link on my profile) tell me what you think K'