A/N So I promised this chapter sooner but I got caught up in the holidays and whatnot. Speaking of which Happy Holidays dear reader!

But here we are hope you enjoy. Ten chaps strong, and more to come

For the most part, risk management consists of the following critical elements performed, more or less, in the following order:

1) Identify, characterize, and assess threats

2) Assess the vulnerability of critical assets to specific threats

3) Determine the risk (i.e. the expected consequences of specific types of attacks on specific assets)

4) Identify ways to reduce those risks

"So then he calls me up and says, "Felix I've just had the revelation of a lifetime." Turns out he saw an informerical on TV about risk management. His plan was to apply economic theory to y'know romance. I thought he was nuts, but before I could convince him otherwise he eventually, well he kind of fell asleep on the line."

Possible relationship with Zita:

1) Threat to relationship: Fact that she is out of my league/her realization that she is out of my league.

2) Assess the vulnerability of critical assets to threat: The fact that I am aware she is out of my league speaks for itself.

3) Determine the risk: Risk of exposing heart once again to abject humiliation and rejection. Consequence: Newfound perception of happiness as a violent denial of reality.

4) Identify ways to reduce those risks: Withhold truth of regular Ron. Win/Win = through interactions with Zita create second better Ron both parties can enjoy.

Ron guided himself through the haze of memories and confusion. Slowly but surely he regained his bearing on reality. Piercing things back together he recalled that the group was currently strolling through Middleton Park. Felix was in the lead telling a story he couldn't possibly know. Monique walked beside him hanging on Felix's every word. Kim and Ron were a step or two behind them, occasionally Kim would glance at him and she seemed generally sympathetic but she was also simultaneously attempting to mask her curiosity.

Ron reached forward and tapped his friend on the shoulder. "Wait a minute Felix...how do you know about all this?"

Felix appeared taken aback. "What do you mean?"

"I could have sworn I dreamed that entire sequence. Which is why I always thought, my plan was like divine inspiration."

"No it actually happened. We had this conversation."

"Hmmm." Monique said as she turned to Ron with her chin pushed forward slightly pausing. "What I can gleam from this strange parable is that you lie to girls."

"Whoa!" Ron put his hands in the air. "I do not lie; I simply attempt to anticipate everything I believe a girl might want to hear. And if I happen to hide something, its stuff like my continued fondness for animated TV shows aimed at children. I keep certain aspects of lameness to myself."

Felix turned to Monique and Kim. "You think that's off the wall? Wait until you hear his second theory. Three weeks later he calls me up at 2 AM, he got another revelation while he was watching TechTV….."

Felix paused then continued.

"Dude, do you realize you are more honest with me when you're sleep deprived."

Ron blinked rapidly at his friend. "Are you, sleep derived right now Felix? You are entertaining people, with stories from my life."

Felix's enthusiasm faded a bit. "But dude these are great stories."

"They're my stories."

"And there are two beautiful girls here, somehow paying attention to us. How can you not tell them an interesting story, whatever it may be?"

Ron eyes' discreetly darted from Kim to Monique. Platonically speaking or not, Felix's logic was sound.

"Fine, I'll let this one go."

"Why don't you tell it? It'll be better coming from you."

Note to self; murder Felix; toss body into sewer; make sure you have an alibi. But will Hana cover for me?… For now recall how the conversation got to this point?

Ron retraced his steps back through the conversations. Monique had asked Felix about the dating scene at Middleton Tech. Then as they compared their respective campuses it was slowly revealed that they were all currently single. Once that was out of the bag Kim, Felix and Monique started discussing the nature of relationships and love. Ron having no control over the flow of the conversation navigated it like he was whitewater rafting. However he made his mistake when Monique asked him whether he believed in love. Instead of giving a generic answer everyone would have accepted, he had replied "under certain conditions." Of course this would absolutely lead to follow up questions. The problem was he hadn't been thinking when Monique asked, at least he hadn't been thinking about himself. He had been thinking about Kim's answer to the question and comparing it to his own. Her answer before his had him wondering whether she truly believed what she had just said.

Naturally Ron started to dance around the follow up questions until Felix decided it was time for a funny anecdote about his old pal's point of view.

"OK, OK," Ron said and the entire group came to a complete stop.

"My theory is this. You know how a computer always has a set of space reserved to restore the operating system in case of a virus attack or some horrific system crash? Well you adapt that kind of thinking to love. As in you should never ever, ever fall completely in love. At most you should only give a person… eighty percent of yourself.

"Eighty percent?" Monique inquired.

Ron nodded. "Eighty percent of yourself is dedicated to love and your partner. Which leaves… twenty-five percent to keep for yourself where only you matter, so you can "reboot" from there, it's your system recovery."

Monique scratched at the base of her forehead. "Um, that's impossible." Actually thinking about Ron's math. "Literally and mathematically."

"It's pretty easy to abstract-ically break yourself down like that when you realize you can't really know another person, because you know they are another person. So once you wrap your head around that, you realize that everyone is on, will always be on some level a stranger, you no matter what happens. And with strangers, you're not supposed to fully trust."

When he was done he was met with absolute silence. Ron glanced around reading the expression on each of their faces and it didn't take much deduction for him to come to conclusion that he wasn't preaching to the choir.

Ron rolled his eyes.

"OK, I can't help but notice the subtle vibe I'm getting from everyone. But let's look at the 'Big Picture.' I'm not really that crazy in my line of thinking. The crazy thing is 'Love', and the people who dive headfirst into that shark infested water like it was a backyard swimming pool. See if you can grip on this. The questions 'Why do you love me?' and 'Why don't you love me anymore?' both can have the same fundamental answer. The answer being of course 'because you're you.' Huh, what do you think about that?"

Noticing Ron definitely had everyone's attention he asked, "Blows your mind doesn't it?"

But no response came, only the feeling that he was losing them and fast.

"It's like... come on... this is crazy. Hey folks plutonium is great, it can generate enough energy to power our cities, it makes our lives better to have it, but if you play around with that sucka without the proper precautions, without a proper fear and respect of the humongous amounts of dangers involved in handling plutonium, you will find yourself mutated or dead."

"So, you're comparing love to plutonium?" Felix inquired.

Ron nodded vigorously. "Yes, yes I am Felix. That is exactly what I'm doing."

"Whoa, that girl must have really put a hurting on you," Monique declared.

A moment later the tip of Kim's elbow plunged into Monique's side.

Ron stared at Monique through narrow eyes. "What did you say?"

Monique clinched her side as she winced in pain. "What?"

"What did you just say?" Ron repeated.

Monique drew in a deep breath. "I didn't say anything."

"Yes, you did, right before Kim elbowed you."

Ron paused to reflect.

"KP? Why did you elbow Monique, immediately after she said the thing she said."

Eyes still narrowed, Ron held Kim's gaze. After a moment, lip compressed Kim nodded to herself.

"She knows about Cynthia… I told her."

Ron groaned out loud. "Oh come on! Yesterday nobody knew about her but me, now that number has tripled."

"Who is Cynthia?" Felix asked.

Ron grabbed at his hair. "Quadrupled."

"Felix doesn't know the context, he just knows a name," Kim argued. "But if we're going to be technical, five people know because I also told my brothers about her."

At a loss of words Ron simply blurted out a Charlie Brown like. "AAUGH! I CAN'T STAND IT! JUST CAN'T STAND IT!"

"Who is Cynthia?" Felix repeated.

"She was a girl....a friend" Ron sighed.

"A girlfriend? Monique inquired.

"No she was a friend." Ron fumed as he turned his back to the group. "She pulled a tack from my paw a long time ago and we've been friends ever since."

Felix laughed. "Dude that was pretty funny."

Ron glanced over his shoulder. "Yeah, that was totally off the top of my head."

"It was funny…But seriously....the atmosphere around here is pretty thick. So I'm going to assume this Cynthia is really like an ex or something?"

Ron stared at Felix for a moment before flinging his hands in the air. Swinging them about as he paced back and forth he said "OK you want to know? Fine! Since the whole world wants to know, I'll let it out. Its story time boys and girls, story time with Mister Stoppable! Here we go I'm flashing back!"

He suddenly came to abrupt stop. "But first things first."

Ron pointed past the group. "Once we exit the park, we'll find a nice cafe where we can get some of the best scones in the city."

"Wait," Kim muttered. "Weren't you just like in some sort of emotional 'huff.'"

"Clearly Kim, my love of a good pastry outweighs the anger I feel at the moment. Don't get me wrong, I'm still very upset… Especially with you KP... But these scones... they're terrific."

"Sounds good, I wouldn't mind a scone, if it's OK with you," Monique, Felix, and Kim said respectively.

The group followed Ron towards the exit.

"OK, let me say something about myself before I go on. After you know this, you get an idea of my life and the story in a nutshell… When my mother gave birth to me, I came out feet first. And I have continued to make the wrong moves ever since."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So you should all know I'm not an 'angsty' guy. Yeah I might complain occasionally.....Wipe that smirk off your Felix. I may lament, but I do appreciate life and what it's all about. See life is not about what happens to you, but how you choose to react to what happens to you. That being said, my reaction to what life has thrown at me since I've been a child has mostly consisted of fear and terror. No terror is too strong a word, apprehension? That's a word right? OK, my typical reactions; fear and apprehension. Wait aren't fear and apprehension the same thing? Well never mind, now that you know what I've just told you, I can safely say my childhood was not an easy one. So let's skip to the most pivotal time in my preteen era, my sentence served as an eighth grader.

It was three weeks into September. And like every Monday morning since the school year had started, a charming lad by the name of Alan Barker and his pals dunked my head into a boy's room toilet. Now Alan's weekly dunking was a conflicted event for me, because at the time I probably hated Alan more than anyone else in the world.

But a part of me envied him. Don't get me wrong, Alan was a arrogant, violent and overall a complete jerk of human being. But when I saw him punch a kid in the face for looking at him funny or vandalizing the school with a scathing one liner written on the boys' room wall, a part of me wanted that freedom. But I couldn't be 'bad.' Which is a major handicap, because life is so much easier when you don't give a darn about most things, especially other people's feelings. Being bad is a skill, an art if you will. And the benefit of being such an artist is that you didn't need people to like you as long as they respected or feared you. It wasn't complicated being Alan Barker, he had a mean left hook, and he was lights out from behind the three point line.

I can see from the looks you all are giving me that you're wondering what an old bully has to do with this 'love story?' Well Alan is a major player in this tale, for one thing. It's his dunking that fateful morning that sent me to the school nurse. Have you ever gotten swimmer's ear from being dunked in toilet water? No? No one? Anyway, it's not a pleasant experience, at all. So there I was, in the waiting room drenched in toilet water and the remains of my self esteem."

"Is this the nurse's room?"

I looked up from the puddle pooling around my feet, towards the source of the question. Standing at the door of the room was a girl who had water dripping from her hair and streaming down her face.

"Yeah," I answered.

She was soaked to the bone and as she walked into the room she left watery footprints in the shag carpeting on the floor. She approached a chair across from me and took a seat. Unfortunately there came a rather loud squishing noise as her rear hit plastic. She blushed profusely and I averted my eyes to allow her a measure of comfort. Soon I returned my concentration to the puddle on the floor.

"What happened to you?"She asked.

I looked around the room to reconfirm that I was her only audience."

"Um, got caught in the rain,"

Sunlight streamed in golden bands down from the window behind the girl onto her neck.

"It was a quick storm, just came and went, so it caught me by surprise. But y'know that's global warming for ya, sudden climate shifts. Really complicated stuff."

The girl nodded.

"What happened to you?" I asked.

"Uh, water fountain exploded."

"Wow, that's sounds dangerous."

" I was walking down the hallway and it just happened. I was totally like, whoa."

"I'm like whoa by proxy," I said.

"I know, it was so weird that a fountain would just explode... out of nowhere... never saw it coming."

"Did it scare you?".

"Nah, maybe a little. But y'know I didn't panic... I'm usually cool about stuff."

We both laughed. This predictably, was followed by a few beats of awkward silence, as we both avoided each others gaze. During this lull of self-confidence I dug through my pockets and pulled from them a tiny packet of cough drops. My hands trembled with hesitation for a moment, before stretching out my arm.

"Here," I said offering the cough drops. "This will take the 'ick' taste out your mouth, and it's fortified with vitamin C so it'll help the chances you don't catch a cold."

She looked the offering over as if she were suspicious of its contents or the intentions of my offering. Eventually though she graciously accepted the gift and unraveled a piece for herself, before handing the rest back.

"Thanks," she said sheepishly.

"You're welcome."

It was a crowning achievement for me, a rare moment with the opposite sex where I didn't babble. So I retreated while I was ahead, and for about the next five minutes I stared at my shoes. Eventually though I caught her looking in my general area. Fighting my better judgment, my God-given natural instinct to avoid danger, I spoke up again.

"I didn't know girls gave each other swirlies."

She studied me carefully carefully before answering. "It's the twenty first century. Girls can do anything a boy can, maybe even better."

She smiled, "except you know, and go to the bathroom standing up."

I snorted and chuckled. "A bathroom joke?"

"Too soon?" she replied taking in my reaction.

"I guess it's a little tasteless, considering what happened to us," she said with a grin.

"I wish it was tasteless," I replied, popping my own cough drop into my mouth.

"It wouldn't have been so bad then."

Laughter.

She drew in a deep breath. "I'm sorry, I haven't introduced myself. My name is Cynthia." she announced and extended out her hand.

"After that somewhat touching experience, we exchanged bios. I learned that she was currently living with her dad in Middleton, I learned what her classes were, the teachers she hated, which sections of the school she avoided and who her bullies were. This was all before lunch, before recess, before my mid morning nap during math class. I can see now that before the nurse had even called me in, I had fallen for Cynthia."

XXXXXXXXX

"We became friends, pretty good friends. We called each other on the phone every day. We talked about the way that we were and they way we really wanted to be."

Throughout the process of becoming friends I picked up on small details that seemed to confirm what I was beginning to feel. Cynthia and I were both born at midnight, twenty four hours apart, in the same month of an even number year. We both were at the bottom of the social ladder at school. We both had a healthy fear of clowns, we liked ketchup on eggs, we had the habit of sneezing when we passed under a ladder, and we both had freckles on our right big toe. The reason we met is that we both had happened to have our heads dumped into a toilet at the same time. What were the odds of all that? Coincidences? Maybe. But aren't there some religions based on less coincidences and smaller details?

Well even though I was a preteen, it was all beginning to seem like destiny. Now you believe in destiny or you don't. If you don't believe in destiny, meeting a person in a waiting room, who is as drenched in muck as you are, has almost no meaning beside what you think it does. This might be a good thing when you think about it. However not believing in destiny means you have to face the fact that no one has written out your story, and so you're not assured a happy ending. And we all want a happy ending right? Who doesn't deserve a happy ending? Besides y'know criminals and tyrants?

Wait, where was I? I lost track of...oh yeah my traumatizing life experience. So right, we were friends, let's skip ahead to when I really figured out I was in love. And oh, before any of you start thinking it was puppy love, let me tell you something right now. It wasn't puppy pain I was experiencing when everything came down on me like a house of razor sharp cards. That pain was full blown, Shakespeare pain. Hey, Romeo and Juliet were like five years old. That's why whenever I hear someone tell a kid 'you can't be in love your twelve, or thirteen, or fourteen' I scratch my head. Oh because they don't share income tax benefits it's not love? When he's sitting in his room, crying because a song comes on the radio, you walk up to the kid and tell him that what he felt wasn't really in love.

Oh wait, did I go off on another tangent? Well you wanted to hear the story, so you're going to take it with an extra side of ramble. Holy crap you guys need to try this carrot cake, it tastes like divinity.

So OK it was Halloween, and the school was throwing a costume party. Wait before that, I should say this. OK, I had this Uncle Marty, and Uncle Marty liked to party. I swear that was his catch phrase. Whenever there was a party you would find Uncle Marty. The thing is, when the party ended, Unc' would get very, very depressed. When he got depressed he would pull me into a hug and say with the quietest despair. "Kid, men are social animals."

For most of my childhood I had no idea what this meant. I learned though...

Who ordered crepes? Felix you ordered crepes with no strawberries and cream? You don't like cream, are you from this planet? What did Monique order? What? Oh right focus."

"Social animals…"

"So they, unlike a jelly-fish, or a snail. Humans need other people to define their existence. See and I've thought about this, you can't ultimately get a complete feel for who you are unless someone tells you, then you can reject their opinion or not. You can't feel real unless there are other people around who know you are real, they are aware of your realness, and maybe they might end up knowing your realness better than you do.

That being said I decided to go to the school's Halloween party instead of trick or treating to justify my real. I blew a month's allowance and an advance I got from dad on the greatest Fearless Ferret costume I could find, with all the matching accessories. I memorized all the best lines from the blockbuster remake that had come out that summer. I had the walk down, the poses, everything. I can safely say it was an awesome costume. And wearing it made me feel....it gave me a different feel when I wore it. Like it just washed everything away... So yeah I over-confidently walked into the school gym thinking I was going to blow minds.

Well I was wrong as usual. It turned out the popular kids decided a few days earlier that wearing costumes was lame. So they came in with their fresh gear and proceeded to bag on every costumed idiot who had the misfortune of not being popular enough to get the 'no costumes' memo. I didn't have to take three steps into the school gym before I had some jock pointing and laughing directly at my face.

Wait let me back track for a second. I didn't tell Cynthia what I was wearing because I wanted it to be an awesome surprise. She decided to do the same, so neither of us had any idea what the other was dressed as. The plan was to meet up at the party and search each other out.

So there's the real setup. A promising evening turned into a laugh fest with thirty percent of the crowd making fun of the rest. I knew Cynthia was in that mass of acne and hormones somewhere. And I was looking to pull her out before things got bad. As I was pushing through a slow dance between Cinderella and Frankenstein, through the corner of my eye I saw Alan Barker ripping the wings off of the Vulturess.

What? Who is the vulturess? Felix, explain to the ladies who the Vulturess is. That's right, a main staple of The Fearless Ferret's rouge gallery and a long time love interest. Not even knowing I was the Ferret, Cynthia came dressed as the Vultress. Another trivial coincidence for you... frigging universe... anyway, what happened next I blame on the costume."

Alan Barker looked down at the hand wrapped around his wrist. I looked down at the wrist my hand was currently gripping. I wasn't sure how it had gotten to this point, when I had crossed the room, or I when had grabbing the bully's arm. It was as if I had been pushed forward through time. We looked at our respective hands, both of us equally stunned at the recent turn of events.

"What are you doing?" Alan asked.

"I'm not sure" I replied softly. "But I do think you should leave her alone."

"Or what?"

"Or," I gulped. "Someone will get hurt."

"I was referring to myself. At that moment I had caught a glimpse of the future and it involved a fist and skull colliding at terminal velocity.

What? Felix I don't care what terminal velocity is. It was like a metaphor."

Soon enough we both realized that a crowd was slowly forming around us.

It was as if Spock had the atmosphere by the pressure point. The air was so thick it was clogging up my lungs.

Chants of 'Fight, Fight, Fight,' echoed off the ceiling and rained down upon us.

"Funny thing, I've never stared a fight in my life. But I've suddenly found myself in the middle of one many times."

"Alan pulled himself forcefully from my grasp. Noses flaring, eyes bulging, Alan stepped forward and swung furiously. Anticipating the attack I dodged the blow easily. A collective 'oooo' spilled from our audience. Furious Alan continued to swing wildly at me."

"Bear in mind I've seen the kung fu classic 'Fist of Justice', about three hundred times give or take. I know that movie like the back of my hand. So while I was standing there barely avoiding guaranteed knockout blows, it occurred to me that the main character in that movie had been in a similar situation. Ignoring the fact that the movie took place in World War 2 era China, the hero had the same problem of a large thick headed goon swinging at his head. In the midst of a flurry of punches the hero manages to land a counter punch. As I was barely dodging a blow that would have knocked my head off, I thought, "I think this is about the time Jin Qingquan would have thrown the punch."

So I threw the punch."

Alan Barker crumpled to the floor at my feet. The entire room fell silent, though I was as mystified as everyone else. I first starred at my fist, and then I glanced up quickly at Cynthia's direction. She looked back at me in awe.

"Did I do that?" I asked her, and myself.

"The chaperons swooped down on the dance fall and hauled me away. I was lectured about the horrors of school violence. I was told that violence was 'inexcusable,' I agreed. Then I said 'there are two sides to every story.' And my story was entitled 'Self Defense, the unauthorized Biography of Ron Stoppable.' I actually said that, word for word. It didn't go over well with the school staff. So they called my parents. A half hour or so later I found myself alone in the back seat of a Volkswagen, while my dad was inside trying to deflect references to local therapists from the school faculty. With a possible week's suspension from school ahead of me, along with a month's grounding, in addition to my reasonable fear of the future wrath of Alan Barker, it was safe to say I had a lot on my mind when I heard that tap on the passenger's side window."

Glancing up I saw Cynthia hovering outside the window. She was still in full attire, and it seemed to me that the fake diamond tiara that rested on her head accentuated her chestnut colored hair. The costume had left the nape of her neck exposed revealing very smooth acne free skin. Behind her glasses, her large watery blue eyes refused to look into mine.

I sighed and tapped on the glass. "Hey it's not your fault."

Cynthia smiled and placed her hand against the glass. "I think we should have gone trick or treating instead."

My mouth went dry. There was like a sudden throbbing lump, in the tiny space where the neck meets the chest.

"It's hard to declare anyone the love of your life until you're close to death. But shortly after barely surviving Alan Barker's meat fists, it did not seem strange at the time to think of Cynthia in those terms. Yeah, OK, I was twelve, still it was love, and it was something I sensed very suddenly. I fell prey to moment of an almost universal understanding I never had before. I understood now, why people cried during certain songs, or certain movies. Why my mom would let my dad kiss her in the mouth with his morning breath. Why my grandparents, on my father's side, were buried beside each other. It felt like... OK, now I must be an adult because things are finally starting to make some kind of sense.

And I did get a week's suspension and while out of school was a waiting game When I woke up I was waiting for her to call, when I went to bed I was waiting for morning to come. No amount of logic or reason could overcome my childish desire to believe.

So going against my natural instincts as a dude, I wrote a love letter."

I stared intently at the sealed envelope in his hand. It was the morning of my return to school, and God willing I imagined it would be his last morning without a girlfriend. Hearing a familiar voice call out my name, I quickly stuffed the letter into the locker and slammed it shut. Glancing up I noticed Cynthia coming down the school hallway.

"Hey," I said.

"Hey" she replied. "Welcome back."

"Um, hey would you like to go to Bueno Nacho after school?"

"I don't know, do you want to go?" she asked.

"I really don't mind, if you feel like going……or not."I replied.

"If you feel like it, whatever you want," she continued.

"Either way is fine with me."

"I agree."

The conversation was confusing to me so I checked. "So do you want to go or not?"

"Well," Cynthia thought it over. "Sure, why not?"

"You're right, we should go" I concurred.

"So OK, Bueno Nacho, after school?"

"Sounds great."

"Well not every conversation with her had to be an hour of deep and meaningful chat…Though at the time most of them seemed that way…for obvious reasons, my perception was be a little off... The important thing here is that I had decided to give her the letter that afternoon at Buneo Nacho. It just felt like the romantic move to make. Until then the letter was supposed to rest peacefully, securely, covertly in my locker."

Anticipation, excitement and hope mingled in my blood giving me a bit of an euphoric high. With the school day finally behind me I skipped happily down the hallways. However I slowed down some when I spied a lone article of clothing upon the ground.

"That looked like my gym shorts," I muttered as he skipped by.

Continuing, I ran into a calculator that looked suspiciously like the one dad had given me as a back to school gift. I skipped on, albeit much less merrily, until I ran into my English text book, my brand new notebook, and my s new pack of Ferret pens.

"My locker!" The words spluttered out of my mouth.

I ignored skipping and went instead for a mad dash.

I found the door of the locker ajar, and many of its contents littered the floor. I dove headfirst into the locker. Pushing my body in as far as it could go, my hands explored every corner of the locker. Stricken with horror, I pulled back out and, sifting through the items on the ground, but it was a fruitless search.

The letter was gone.

Who, what, when, how? I had to think things over before panic completely settled in. Locker thrashings were rare but not uncommon. An act of vengeance? Yes and yet it was still a warning of things to come. But from who? Who was angry enough.....Barker. It was clear that Alan and his crew had upended his locker and stolen the letter. But why? What would he do with the letter beside.....revealing its contents to the entire student body! Alan was going to humiliate me by revealing my love.

Faced with what was likely school-wide embarrassment I did what any man would do in that situation.

I ran home.

The next day it occurred to me; I uh should mention that I faked being sick so I could be excused from school the day. As I was slurping down some chicken noodle soup that my mother had graciously cooked up, it occurred to me that this is exactly what I wanted. What had actually happened was that we added a middle man instead of cutting one out. Sure everyone else would know how I felt, but for the first time I didn't care what everyone else knew about me. The important thing was that Cynthia would know my feelings. She might have been upset about the way the news came out, school gossip is hardly romantic. But it couldn't be helped, she would just forgive me and then we could move on. It didn't matter what anyone else thought, it was just about us. Us against the world you know. I went to sleep that night like a baby, because I knew that, she knew, what I knew--had known for a while.

Before we enter the climax, I've got another Uncle Marty tidbit. On my eleventh birthday my Uncle Marty told me a story about a guy who was lost in the desert. I cannot exactly remember the story word for word but the summary is just as effective. The guy looks in the horizon and he sees an oasis. He sees water, and tress with vast shades. What was actually there in the horizon however was a withered wasteland filled with rabid scorpions. Now the thing is, the guy didn't fool himself into seeing what he saw, he actually saw it. Even though he had no evidence to believe what his eyes was seeing, the problem was that he saw what he did because he was really, really frigging thirsty.

They laughed, they howled, and they guffawed loudly and proudly. In all honesty, I was used to being the comedic foil to everyone else but for some reason Cynthia's laughter seemed to be the loudest. No it wasn't really the loudest; it was the only one I could hear.

I hope this doesn't somehow scar me emotionally for the rest of my life was the only thought that appeared in my mind.

Sad? Yeah, it wasn't quite over yet. And why would it? It was barely tragic after all…….I briefly thought about trying to sue Cynthia into loving me. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, the government protects all these rights, but not the right to be loved? What was the point I thought? How could you pursue happiness when you are miserable? I should sue I thought, Cynthia was denying me my pursuit of happiness. There should be a constitutional amendment for the right to be loved! As you can see at the age of twelve I didn't have a broad scope of what the Declaration of Independence was about.....But the point was I felt lousy and it almost drove me insane. I should mention that Cynthia's locker was like three feet away from mine. So we ran into each other again plenty of times. You see Alan Barker, was a genius, an evil genius if you will. Beating me up was not going to heal the humiliation he had earned by my lucky punch. He had to crush me, and he did that by making Cynthia popular. And by taking her under his wing by which I mean dating her, he struck quite the blow. But he wouldn't just date her right of the bat that would have been crazy. What happened was all the popular girls went all "extreme makeover" on her. It was like one of those movies where the popular kids turn a geek into super hottie. But instead of learning about herself, and going back to the nerd friends who really loved her, the geek stayed with the popular people, and went on to enjoy the rest of the school year.

Since she was popular she barely acknowledged my existence, so I had to you know stare at her through the corner of my eyes like every day, with the knowledge that I thought she was beautiful before she was beautiful.

Oh wait a minute. I did say one last thing to her before she completely started ignoring me.

I shoveled a text book into a locker when the sounds of footsteps approaching reached my ears. I glanced quickly over his shoulders down the near empty hallway before returning my attention back toward my locker. I continued piling books in but stopped abruptly when the footsteps were the loudest.

"You should love me," I blurted out suddenly.

The footsteps stopped. "Why?" the familiar voice asked curiously.

"Because.....I love you" I said softly.

That's all I had. That little, insignificant, excuse was all I had to convince her. And when she walked away, at that moment I knew it just wasn't enough. It was like a zap of inspiration, I finally got it. She was happy now, she had it all and I was trying to bring her down with that? My love came with "me" attached. Why would she trade away all that because "I" loved her. Why doesn't someone love you? Because you're you. And they don't love you. That's the bottom line and if you had something more than the current "you" could offer. Things might be different. But then if you had more to offer, you wouldn't really be you would you? You'd be somebody better.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Whoa" Ron said as he leaned back into his seat and took slurped up the remains of his iced chocolate latte. "Bright moments in life always come back vivid" he said sarcastically.

Felix took a sip from a cup filled with chamomile tea. "You've really given that a lot of thought."

Ron shrugged. "Well when something disastrous happens to people, they look beyond casual explanations to uh, explain what went wrong."

He glanced at the two girls who had grown quiet as the story progressed.

"I well," Kim coughed.

"I think what Kim is trying to say is that... we see now that you've been rendered pessimistic by the pains of love, and have thus made a conscience decision to avoid it altogether."

Kim glared at Monique.

"Was that not what you were going to say?"

"I'm sure that was as awkward for you all as it was for me." Ron declared. "On one hand, I had a pretty decent night hanging with you guys. On the other hand, you made me relive possibly the worse period in my life. So let's pretend we broke even."

Ron fished some bills out of his pocket and placed them on the table. "I'm going to leave. And uh, I don't want anyone following me out."

Kim began to speak, but Ron cut her off.

"That goes double especially for you KP." He pointed to himself, "this is operation Cyclops. I alone, get it?"

He bowed to his the group. "I bid you all adios" he said before walking out.

"Lost me."

Ron grinned as he ducked behind a parked car. His irritation faded as he listened to the footsteps in the night die away.

He poked his head up and scanned the area. No one was around. There was silence again now, and he could hear nothing but the occasional sound of passing cars. Stepping from behind the car Ron walked briskly down a side road, round the corner and along the wall of a churchyard.

Finally appeased, he slowed his walk. He was wondering how late it was when unexpectedly, he heard a noise from behind him. Turning his head sharply, a flash of red bobbed into his eye before disappearing quickly in the darkness of an alleyway.

He listened, but heard only silence. He turned and continued walking this time at a quicker pace. But still as he walked, he strained his ears for any sound showing that he was being following. Minutes later he picked up on the sound of feet crunching on gravel, coming from behind him.

"Dang it Kim!" he shouted without turning around. "What did you not understand about the cleverly titled operation Cyclops?"

Silence.

"I know it's you! It's you or I'm getting mugged. Which wouldn't be so bad since I know the mugger would leave me alone after robbing me."

There came a sigh from behind him. "Fine, it's me."

"Of course it's you," Ron stated. "Felix wouldn't have searched so hard for me because he would know I'd appreciate him not seeing me in such a vulnerable state. Felix understands the basic principles and codes of being a male friend. Monique probably feels guilty at the hand she played in having me relieve an awful moment. So she'd give up out of respect of my wishes this time around. You on the other hand, even if you did feel guilty. Well....giving up---"

He looked over his shoulders to see Kim in his wake. "--Giving up does not compute for Kim Possible."

He turned away and continued to steadily pick up the pace.

"Maybe so, put I'm still worried about you."

Ron bristled at her comment. "Yeah I was just about to head to the Middleton Bridge and jump off. Listen I may currently be on the longest losing streak ever, but I'm not ready to be cut from the team and I won't drop out. I'm not that guy OK? I do have some appreciation for the little things I got."

"It's not--"

"Plus hey, I'm not the best role model for my sister, but no... never that... AND since death is still in my top five fears, even if I wanted to I---"

Ron yelped in surprise as he was grabbed by the collar and jerked backwards. He started to protest when a wavering minivan rumbled past. It had missed what would have been a sudden and painful interaction with Ron by a few seconds.

He landed on the floor with loud thud. Stunned by his brush with disaster, he lay on his back to catch his breath. Kim let out a sigh of relief and offered him a hand up.

"I didn't think you would hurt yourself. But sometimes when you get lost in thought you lose track of the....environment."

Ron took her hand and picked himself off the ground. He brushed the dirt off the back of his pants and straightened up. "Thanks... for saving my life."

"No big."

Silence

"Are you OK?" she said gently.

"OK? About which? Narrowly avoiding being road kill or the "thing" I just relived?"

"Both?"

"Yeah, I'm OK" Ron said as he walked past her. He took a few more steps before stopping and turning around.

"Coming?" he asked.

Kim looked at him.

"Aren't you still mad?"

"I am sort of, but it's a dangerous neighborhood."

He paused, "And what kind of guy would I be if I let a lady walk around here at night alone. You can walk and apologize right?"

"Oh," Kim smiled knowingly. "I definitely can."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Reentering the park, they happened upon a playground. With it being well into the night, the area was deserted leaving behind a more than a tad spooky atmosphere. However Ron's instinctive fear of various moving shadows wasn't enough to supplant his low spirited demeanor. Kim had managed to remain silent as Ron seemingly worked through, whatever he may have been working through internally. Ron had made it apparent that he was more comfortable having it that way.

She knew that what she wanted to say and what he wanted to hear would probably not be on the same wavelength. Tight lipped she watched him shuffle towards a pair of swings.

"Don't mind me; I'll be good to go after a few minutes. I just need a good sulk."

She considered whether she should say anything at all as she watched Ron silently push himself back and forth on the swing. Moments later she was considering what she should say, and how she would say it, as she walked closer. When she had gotten to the point of standing behind him, gently pushing on the swing, she didn't know what she wanted to say, let alone how. But she had come to terms that something would definitely be said.

"During my freshman year of high school there was this award ceremony to honor the students who did well during first half of the school year. I worked on the committee that helped run the award and I was nominated to sing the national anthem before the ceremony started. At first I thought, hey I could rehearse between classes. Well those rehearsals were far and few between, and when I did manage to have time for practice I couldn't hit any of the high notes in the song."

Kim chuckled to herself. "As the ceremony grew closer I had the idea of watching old home movies of my mom singing, I thought I could imitate her style. You know my mom she could have been a singer if she wanted too, but she set her goals on being a brain surgeon....who managed to find the perfect balance between work and life to raise a family of three."

Gripping the chains of the swings tightly Ron leaned backwards until he was staring up at Kim.

"So instead of asking your mom to help you, you watched old tapes of her?"

Kim reflected on this statement. "Well yeah, I suppose I did....It uh didn't seem like such a strange idea at the time."

"Huh."

Kim continued. "Well the tapes didn't help, I still couldn't hit the high notes and when the ceremony rolled around I was too terrified to even step on the stage. I completely balked on the entire event even though my parents were sitting right there in the front row. Because of that… huge failure on my part I had trouble sleeping for weeks "

Ron used his feet to put the brakes on the momentum of the swing."Wait, are you trying to relate to me?"

It would have been an understatement to say that his comment had taken her off guard. "Yes… no...Yes...I was just--"

Ron sat up and turned towards her. "Double wait, are you comparing the only failure you've had in your life to my lifetime string of failures."

"That's not what I was doing," Kim stated. "And I've had a couple of disappointments in my life as well."

"A couple? When you get to consistent, then you can talk to me sister."

Kim crossed her arms over her chest. "OK, you're just being difficult."

"Difficult, about what?"

"I'm just trying to help!" Kim snapped back.

"How?" Ron said incredulously. "How did we even get to this point?"

"Oh my goodness, just think about it for a second" Kim said with exasperation. "That moment was a source of considerable pain for me, it affected me for awhile and yet there we were like fifteen minutes singing on stage. Something which I totally did not expect was going to happen when I woke up this morning."

"Oh," Ron said as a flash of recognition came over his face. "Subtle."

"It wasn't meant to be that subtle," Kim proclaimed.

Ron pushed off on the ground and resumed swinging. "So that was a "considerable source of pain" for you?"

"Yes."

"Can I ask why?"

She glanced over at him.

"Can't I be nosy?" he asked.

"Fine, for awhile it had me wondering if I was really part of the family."

He snapped his head on her answer. "Seriously?"

"Like I said my mother is a brain surgeon, my dad is a rocket scientist, they are at the top of their fields, even with their family first thinking, which of course I truly appreciate. And my brothers well they were disproving the likes of Isaac Newton when they were five using Lego blocks and pine oil. Don't get me wrong I love my family but compared to them I'm not..."

Ron interrupted her when he rose up out of the swing. He gestured forward with his head. "Walk with me Kim; I want to explain something to you."

Kim started after him. "Oh, yeah?"

"Confident, optimistic types like yourself just can't pull off insecurity and vulnerability. It's a totally a bad look on you KP, it just does not fit you at all."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm saying, you don't have experience with pessimism colored glasses to do the look justice." He waved his hand before his face, "especially around the eyes area. You're better off working with your 'I can do anything" attitude. The one that comes with the eye glimmers of "righteousness and determination"

"My what?"

"It's in the eyes, it's all in the eyes" Ron stated.

Hesitantly Kim rubbed both eyes with her hand.

Ron looked over at her. "No, that's ridiculous those are just red eyes. All irritation not enough determination."

"Yeah well, I'm not really sure, what we're talking about anymore."

"Here's what's going to happen. You're going to invite me to your grandmother's party."

"You're already invited. My mom even insisted."

Ron paused. "OK, I'm so invited... So I'll come and I'll be me, and compared to me it'll be obvious to your family how special you really are."

Kim stopped in her tracks. "That doesn't sound right."

"Sounds right to me. Hello fam' here's my friend Ron, I can do anything, and he can't."

Kim shook her head vigorously. "That sounds awful. We are so not doing this."

Ron shrugged. "Nah its fine. Besides there's no use in both of us being miserable."

"Well it's wrong, I don't want any part of it."

Grinning broadly Ron swiftly turned to her and pointed two fingers at her eyes. "Ah there it is determination and resilience. And it still looks good on ya KP."

He turned around leaving her blushing a bit in his wake, unfortunately turning around so quickly caused him to be completely unaware of this fact.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

They drifted back towards the park entrance. Quietly they walked side by side until Kim took in a deep breath.

"Love is something that is grown, it uh tends to fail allot and first crushes always never turn out to be the best."

Amused Ron met Kim's gaze. "Are we talking about me again?"

"And you should now none of it was your fault." She comforted him. "It wasn't you who chose popularity over love."

"Hold on," Ron said with a wag of his finger.

"Cynthia didn't choose popularity over love. She never made the same mistake I did. She chose popularity over me. Which was the right move, I would have done the same thing."

In his ignorance, Ron hadn't expected genuine sadness, and the suddenness of it coming over her eyes caused Ron to be momentarily flummoxed.

"That is the saddest thing I've ever heard" She said.

"Oh come, on ever hear of the Titanic? Huh? Compared that, what I just said, can't possibly be the saddest thing you have ever heard."

They stared at each other, the pain showing in their eyes for different reasons though it was the same source. For some moments they could not speak and they searched within themselves to collect their thoughts.

Kim turned her head. "Hey look over there; they're opening a new Bueno Nacho."

"Seriously?" He said as he turned his head to look

Stepping up quickly Kim clasped her arms around him as she embraced him. She hugged him like he was in danger of vanishing at anytime.

"What are you doing?"

"If you don't want me to hug you, push me off."

"This is... this is, that wasn't fair." Ron's arms were held up high over his head as if he was a man unsure of what do with his hands.

"Otherwise, you can just take it and like it," she said as she hugged him tightly.

Ron struggled or more specifically he squirmed weakly against her tight embrace.

"Why are you doing this?" he asked.

"Multiple reasons actually, most of them revolving around the themes of the past, present and future. Do you want to hear the very detailed explanations?"

"No, I want you to let me go."

She ignored his protest. "Well the past represents you letting me in by telling me about Cynthia--

"Letting you in? You forced your way in! And I basically just told the whole word." Ron sighed he was beginning to thaw under he warm embrace.

"---The present representing our current friendship---"

"This is ironically childish," Ron stated.

"----The future representing my hope that you let me see more of your essential Ronness."

"Come on...that's." Ron made a futile yet anemic attempt to pry himself from her. "That's too much Ron; no one can handle that much Ron."

"I can do anything remember? In fact I can handle it for you if it's too much to bear."

Slowly but surely Ron lowered his arms. This time he didn't hesitate to wrap them around her as he said, "ahh, fine, you win."

"Somehow I knew I would." The warmth of the moment was shown in her voice.

He had tried to keep it at bay. Heaven's knows it had been brewing while he was telling the story. The pressure had apparently eased down when he had finished. But it had spiked up frequently while he reflected internally. Now, well it was apparent to him that the center would not hold for much longer.

"KP?"

"Mmmmm?"

Kim lifted her head from his chest and leaned back so that she could meet his eyes.

"It's about to get really awkward in a few seconds. So I think it would be best if you let me go, turn around, cover your ears, and just ignore any sob like noises you may hear."

"Do you really want me to let go?"

"Yes," he replied, wondering if she could hear the lie in his voice.

"OK"

She lowered her head and him a little tighter. "I'm here for you."

"Awww....Fuji," Ron muttered as he buried his face in her shoulder. Kim rocked gently, holding tightly.

They stood that way for a few minutes. Eventually Ron would sniffle, and pull away. His eyes were red and swollen, he touched his cheek, it had poured out stronger than he'd realized.

"I'm sorry," he said, blinking. "I, I… messed up your shirt."

"Don't worry about it."

He squeezed his eyes shut tight, and then opened them. "So, hey this stays between us right?"

"Absolutely."

Ron ran both his hands across his face.

It time for a life decision to be made. And this decision would be made quickly. He considered scientifically, that the ample lessons he had received from bitter experiences had taught him that every new relationship or intimacy, while at first introducing such pleasant variety into every-day life, had a high probability of developing into a problem of excessive complications. Which usually led to some form of pain and or discomfort.

However when Kim was around he forgot all about these certain experiences, everything suddenly seemed simple and amusing. On the heels of the end of one relationship Kimberly Possible had breezed into his life and offered him the chance of another. And if friendship was the most of what she was willing to offer, it was a gift he would gladly accept it, time and time again.

Ron inhaled and exhaled deeply before stuffing his hands in his pockets. "I knew…I knew you would complicate things Kim when I first met you. You complicate me KP."

Kim shrugged happily. "Well, you can say, we complicate each other."

Ron shook his head. "That doesn't make any sense."

"It wasn't meant to make complete sense, it was supposed to be you know, whimsical and cute."

"Listen leave all the insecurity, the whimsical, and the cute stuff to me. In fact leave all the quirks to me."

"Wait, you can't have a monopoly on quirks."

Ron casually began to walk away. "I can and will."

Kim started after him. "You can't. You know I still sleep with my cuddle bunny."

Ron yawned. "Trust me KP you don't want to play this game."

Kim continued to count off her fingers. "Let's see I eat marshmallows with hot dogs, I've been known to whistle the Scarecrow/Tin Man/Cowardly Lion song at random times. I am strongly susceptible to 'brain freeze.' I mostly drink from plastic or paper cups because I don't really like the feel of glass in my hand."

Ron leaned over and nudged Kim with his elbow. "I just thought of five things for every one you stated."

Kim shrugged. "Huh, well clearly this is a fight I can't win."

"First time for everything KP, first time for everything."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When Felix and Monique back tracked their way back to the park, they found Kim and Ron loitering just outside the entrance with their backs to the street.

"I guess they've forgotten about us."

"Seems like it," Felix nodded. "So, what do you think?"

"What do I think?" Monique repeated. "About what?"

"About…." Felix waved his hand in the direction of Kim and Ron.

"I think they've both got a lot of baggage."

"Uh huh," Felix muttered. "So they've got baggage, do we push?"

Monique shook her head rapidly. "No, no never push. You never push someone into a relationship they aren't even sure they want. This is a big decision, especially since their friendship is on the line. Now, I may nudge or poke, but I won't push until Kim decides what she wants. Then I'll give her all my support in the form of a swift kick to the behind."

"Wise words, dear lady," Felix said.

"I am a wise woman?" Monique remarked.

"How close do you think they are?"

"Well I'd say one of them is acutely aware of a physical attraction and struggles with it daily."

"My guess is Ron. It's obvious he'd be the first to catch serious feelings."

"Huh, you're right about Ron on one count. But I'm not so sure about the other."

"Really?"

Laughing Ron draped his arm over Kim's shoulder and they turned together. Mid-turn as Ron was going through the first stages of an eyes closed chuckle, Kim reached up and deftly clutched the hand on her shoulder.

"You are a wise woman indeed" Felix stated.

"Sometimes, I even surprise myself." Monique said before she called out for Kim and Ron.

A/N So hopefully you enjoyed. Next chapter will likely deal exclusively with Nana's party so that should be funny. So a bit more focus on Kim. We'll see Slim and Joss, I may or may not be coming up with a few new original creators for the Possible clan. This is not set in stone, depends on if I can divine any interesting personalities.

Some of you might not think the flashback needed to be emphasized. Well you need to trust me on that, there are reasons for it to have been brought back into the spotlight.

Read and review of course :)