Episode 27.
All dogs like to F? #K.
(Gravity falls intro plays.)
(Dipper, Mark, Dib, Vana, Jack, Mac, Aang, Sokka, Kitty, Trever, Eric, Momo and Appa brave the Mountain snowstorms, As they make it out they come to what lies before them.)
(Wendy Testaburger looks behind her and waves as the scene pans out to reveal South park.)
(Dipper is Dragged away from the Group and embraces Mabel, then both get scooped up in Randy's arms.)
(Dib and Vana show Mark and Jack a large footprint inside a bigger footprint, Scenes show the school and Forests of Crossover town.)
Dipper and Mabel.
Brian and Stewie.
Stan Kyle Kenny and Cartman.
Wendy Testaburger.
Chef, Mr Garrison and Randy marsh.
(Dipper, Mabel and the Marsh family sit around a campfire, While the shape of a snake head lurks in the shadows.)
(Scenes of Dr Eggman, Tak, Cluny the Scourge and the Horned King appear, Along with Lord Jargafar removing his hood in the shadows.)
(Several scenes with different Characters appear.)
Crossover legends.
Dipper mentally groaned as he waited for the Bus, He had been signed up for football practice and was now waiting with Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny and Mabel for the bus to come pick them up.
Kyle: Hm, I wonder where the Bus is? We're gonna be late for Football practice.
Dipper: Good.
Mabel: I thought you wanted to play football.
Dipper: When was that?
Flashback.
Dipper was busy watching Ghost harassers.
Harold: Hey Dipper, I've been thinking of Signing you up for football is that okay?
Dipper: Sure whatever.
Harold: Okay.
Flashback ends.
Dipper: God Damn it.
Just then a Dog came up to Stan.
Stan: Hi Sparky.
Kyle: Who's that?
Stan: That's my new dog Sparky, He followed me to the Bus stop.
Stan rubbed Sparky's head.
Stan: Good boy sparky, Who's my Best buddy, Who's a bud, Who's a buddy?
Cartman Gagged.
Cartman: Eh, you're making me sick dude.
Stan: He's part doberman and part wolf, He's the Toughest dog in the ridge.
Cartman: No way, Everybody knows that Bill Sykes dogs are the Toughest dogs in Crossover town.
Stan: Bill sykes? Who's that?
Kyle: Just some crime boss from new york who relocated here.
Dipper: Crime boss?!
Stan: He doesn't cause much trouble these days, At least with the Freedom watch around.
Mabel: I always thought Sylvester was the Toughest dog in town.
Mabel Gestured over to A Large Brown scruffy Greasy looking dog, that could rip you apart in an instant.
Stan: Well, None of them are as vicious as Sparky.
Cartman: Oh yeah? Let's see, Ey! Sylvester!
Stan: Sparky will kick his Ass!
Sylvester stalked over and Growled at Sparky.
Cartman: I'll put a dollar on Sylvester.
Kyle: You're on dude!
The two dogs walked into the street and circled each other, Than SParky pounced on Slyvester!
Stan: That's it Sparky! Kick his… Ass?
Cartman: Huh… He's definitely doing something to his ass…
Mabel: Uh… Would this happen to Bill Sykes dogs too?
Dipper: Well, There goes what little my innocence is left at this point.
Stan: Sparky! Bad dog!
Kenny: (Oh my god, That dogs a Homo.)
Stan: What?!
Dipper: Yeah man, I think your dog is gay.
Stan: What do you mean?
Cartman: Isn't it obvious, That Dog is a gay homosexual.
Stan: He's… Confused, that's all.
Kyle: I'm pretty sure Sylvestors is the confused one.
Mabel: And the one Getting F #ed.
Stan: Sick!
Sylvestor scampered off in fright.
Later.
Dipper, Cartman, Stan, Kyle and Kenny had gotten into their football gear along with the Other boys, Mabel sat on the Bleachers with a "Go Dipper" Sign.
Chef: Okay children, I know you're all extremely nervous and Excited about the homecoming game against middle park.
Dipper: Who's Middle Park?
Chef: But just remember what I taught you, That playing football is like making love to a woman, You can't always go her, But when you do, It makes all the trying worth while.
Dipper: … What?
Chef: Now let's start practice.
Chef blew the Whistle and the kids took to the Field, All except Dipper.
Dipper: Chef, Can I… Not do this.
Chef: What do you mean?
Dipper: I'm not doing this, I hate sports.
Chef: Why's that?
Flashback.
Dipper gets trampled in football.
Dipper gets trampled in Basketball.
Dipper gets the shit beat out of him in Baseball.
Dipper gets-
Flashback end.
Chef: Okay I get your point.
Dipper: So can you get me out?
Chef: Sorry, No quitting this time, We need all hands on deck if we're gonna beat Middle park.
Dipper: What? Oh god damn it!
Disgruntled, Dipper trudged back to the field, At that Moment, Randy came over, Followed by Jimbo and Ned.
Randy: Oh hey Chef, How's practice?
Chef: Fine, Thanks for asking Randy.
Jimbo: We just felt we should remind you how important this game is to us Crossover Alumni.
Chef: Elementary school Alumni?
Randy: That's as Far as we got, You think we have a shot at beating the spread against Middle park this year?
Chef: I don't know, What's the spread?
Jimbo: Middle park by Seventy points.
Chef looked out to the field, He could see the Team practicing, Very poorly.
Chef: I don't think we have a chance.
Randy: Bull crap, Not with my Son as Quarterback, Right Stan?
Stan looked over at his Father, Causing him to get hit by the Ball, He picked it up and Lobbed a good thirty feet through the Air, Where it landed in Kyle's Arms.
Dipper: Whoa.
Jimbo: Atta boy!
Randy: Yeah!
Chef: Great pass Stan!
Randy: c'mon guys we gotta get to the Bookeep!
Randy, Jimbo And Ned then went off.
Later.
By then Practice had Ended and the Football team were now resting, Or in Dippers case Nursing a few Secures, Not too far away The cheerleading squad had just come out for their own Practice Which Wendy was a part of.
Dipper: ...So much… Tackles…
Cartman: Damn you suck at sports.
Dipper: Oh and you think you're all hot shit?
Cartman: At least I can actually carry my Armor.
Wendy: Probably thanks to you Body Fat.
Cartman: Ey!
Everyone chuckled at Wendy's comment, Evan Dipper, Wendy then sat down next to her Cousin.
Wendy: You holding up okay Cus?
Dipper: I guess so, Ngh, God that still hurts a bit.
Wendy: Why did you even join the team?
Dipper: Misunderstanding with Uncle Harold.
Wendy: Can't you talk with him?
Dipper: Apparently not.
Wendy: Well, that sucks for you.
Dipper: Yeah… I've been through worse.
?: Oh like you're such a survivor Pines.
That sneering voice came from Derek Richards, Who had slunk over to them.
Dipper: What do you want Derek?
Derek: Me? Nothing just wanted to congratulate you, For being a wonderful punch bag, Wonderful achievement, I bet Ironclaw had loads of fun with you.
Wendy: Leave him alone Richards, Your just pissed cause he beat you at the Science fair two weeks ago.
Derek Glared.
Derek: No one asked you Testaburger, Unless you feel comfortable saying things with your boyfriend.
Stan: And what's that supposed to mean?
Derek: Nothing, Just wondering if you happen to spill a few "FrenchFries" on her.
Kenny: (You mean dicks?)
Derek: Ye- Wait what? No I mean the french fry as in food, You eat and- Goes down your- I'm trying to Subtly insult Stan!
Kyle: You sure you wanna do that? He is our best shot at beating
Derek: He is our best shot beating- Yeah, I know and I just. Don't. Care. Nobody does! What the hell is that Anyway?
Derek pointed at Stan's dog.
Stan: Oh that's my dog Sparky, He must have followed me to football practice, Pretty smart.
A girl Named Annie knitts perked up.
Annie: Uh, My dog Anrold follows me to Cheerleading Practice all the time.
Stan: Yeah, But Football and Cheerleading are completely two different- Sparky get down!
As the kids Talked, Sparky had made his way over to Annie's dog and started Humping her like a little bitch! (Forgive my Foul Language.)
Annie: Oh my god! What is he doing to my dog!
Cartman: There he goes again.
Stan: Get down Sparky! Down!
Cartman: Stan forgot to mention that his Dog is a homosexual.
Dipper: And a confirmed Rapist.
Annie: Make him Stop!
When Sparky was finished with Annie's dog, He hurried about, Whimpering and Yelping at what happened, Bill, Fosse and Derek laughed.
Fosse: I'm sure glad my dog isn't gay.
Bill: Yeah, Maybe you should name your dog Sparkette Stan.
Derek: Guys Guys! Not cool guys, You shouldn't make fun of Stan's dog for being gay… You should make fun of Stan for reflecting his Dark side!
Wendy nearly went livid, She almost marched over to Derek, But bebe managed to hold her back.
And the three sauntered off Cackling leaving Stan very uneasy.
Later.
At class, Stan still didn't feel better, So he stayed after class to talk with Mr Garrison about it.
Stan: Mr Garrison?
Mr Garrison: Yes Stanley?
Stan: What's a… Homosexual?
Mr Garrison: Oh well, Stanley… You've come to the right person to talk to, Sit down.
Stan sat on the chair next to Garrison's desk, The latter who took off his glasses.
Mr Garrison: Stanley, Gay people, Well… Gay people are evil, Evil right down to their cold black hearts, which pump not blood like yours and mine, But rather a thick vomonus oil that ozes through their rotten weins and clots in their pie sized brains which becomes the cause of their Naziesque pattern of their violent behavior, Do you understnad?
Stan: I guess.
Mr Garrison: Good, I'm glad we had this talk Stanley, Now you go outside and Practice football.
Needless to say, Garrison's philosophy did not leave a good impression on Stan.
Later.
After school, Dipper and the others dismounted from the bus, As they got off, Sparky approached them wearing a pink scarf.
Stan: Sparky! Where did you get that pink scarf?!
Stan ripped the scarf off.
Cartman: Man, That is the gayest dog I have ever seen.
Stan: He just needs some training that's all, Sit sparky!
Sparky sat.
Stan: Good boy now shake.
Stan shook Sparky's paw.
Stan: Good boy, Now don't be gay.
Sparky tilted his head, Confused.
Stan: Don't be gay Spark, Don't be gay.
Wendy pinched the bridge of her nose.
Mabel: Did it work?
Stan: I don't know
Cartman: Still looks pretty gay to me.
Bill and Fosse suddenly appeared and laughed.
Fosse: Heh, Heh, Hey Stan! Your dog bean to any pride marches lately?
Bill: Yeah, Maybe you should take him to a Barbara Streisand concert.
The two Assholes then laughed their asses off and walked away.
Dipper: You're walking in the Road asswipes!
Stan shot a glare at his Dog as a Truck came along and Knocked Bill and Fosse out of the way.
Meanwhile.
Randy, Jimbo and Ned entered a Place bets bar, They walked up to the Bartender and sat down.
Randy: We want 500 dollars on the South Park cows.
Bartender: Are you crazy.
Jimbo: No siree, I'm telling you We've got the line, My Brothers son Stan is the best quarterback our school has, We guarantee he'll beat the spread.
Others overheard this and started placing their own bets.
Randy: Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Don't get carried away now.
Bigwig: You better be right about this Marsh.
Randy: Bigwig, Bigwig, Don't worry about it.
Ned: Hmm, Are you guys sure Stan is that good?
Randy: Uh… Not that sure.
Jimbo: Maybe we should come up with a back up plan.
He quickly thought up one.
Jimbo: Hey Barkeep, What's the halftime show gonna be?
Bartender: You haven't heard? John Stamuses older Brother Richard is gonna sing "Loving you."
Ned: I love that Song.
Randy: That's perfect, C'mon guys, Middle Parks gonna get a halftime show they'll never forget.
Meanwhile.
Dipper, Mabel, Brian, Stewie, Wendy, Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman all stood outside Brian and Stewie's house with Sparky and a Large Crate.
Dipper: Thanks for your… Help guys.
Stewie: I don't even know what's going on.
Mabel: Stan's scaring his Dog straight.
Brian: What?
Stan: Okay Sparky We got you a present, Smuggled in from France by Stewie Were-
Stan then saw the Scarf.
Stan: Damn it Sparky where do you keep getting this thing? No Pink Bandana Sparky Bad dog!
Brian Frowned.
Stan: Now pay attention.
Kyle Opened the Crate with a Crowbar.
Stan: Sparky, This is Fifi!
On que a Pretty Grey Poodle dog emerged from the Crate and walked past Sparky.
Kyle: Oh La La.
Sparky began to follow Fifi.
Stan: Yes! It's working you guys! Atta boy Spark Get her!
Sparky jumped on top of Fifi, But instead the Stuff, He just took off her Collar and flipped it onto his neck, And got off.
Stan: Aw Crap, Now what?
Wendy: Stan, Who cares if your dog is Gay, It's no big deal.
Cartman: No way, My mom says god Hates homosexuals That's why he smoked the satomiese in France.
Stewie: ...What?
Brian: Stan, Why is this such a big deal for you?
Stan: I don't know, Mr Garrison said Gay people are evil but… Sparky doesn't seem Evil.
Kyle: Well, Maybe Mr Garrison is wrong.
Brian: Of course he's wrong, Gay people are just normal people like you and me, Regardless of their preferred tastes, I should know my Cousins gay.
Stewie: It's true.
Dipper: Can we take this inside?
Everyone except Sparky went inside.
Brian: The point is, It should be okay if your Dogs gay.
Stan: No it's not! I don't want a Gay Dog, I want a Butch dog, I want a Ran Tan Tan!
Outside, Sparky heard Stans words through an Open window and Sadly wandered away, He took one last look at the Marsh house and Turned to the Sunset, Which he made his way to.
The Next day.
Chef: Now Children, We've got to Handle the ball better, You've got to hold the Football like you would hold your lover, Gently, But firmly.
Chef then broke out into a Song.
Chef: You wanna be both nuitering and clingling at the same time, Oh yeah, Just like making sweet love to the football, Be naughty with the football.
Dipper: Ew.
Kyle: Uh Chef?
Chef: Ever so Gently.
Kyle: Chef.
Chef: Spank it.
Kyle: CHEF!
Chef: Oh what? Uh Sorry Children, Uh, Lets run some plays.
And the boys ran out into the field, From the side of the School wall, Derek watched with Chandler and Terrance.
Derek: Stupid asshole… Thinks he's hot shit playing football? Well we'll see how he likes it when he's the laughing stock of the Field.
Chandler: How do we do that?
Derek pulled out a bow and Arrow, Strapped around the Arrow was a Sack containing something inside.
Chandler: What is that?
Derek: This is a little something Mom let me Borrow, You know how in Carrie, She gets pig blood spilled all over her?
Chandler and Terrance looked at each other.
Chandler: Yeah?
Derak: When I fire this over Pines, The Contents in this will come out and Land on him and he'll trip and get Stampeded!
Terrance: What? I thought we were trying to Humiliate him, Not kill him.
Derek: Oh please, Whatever's in this is totally not gonna kill him, Just make him look stupid.
The Sack began to Move about and small noises came from inside.
Derek: Settle down!
Derek then punched the sack.
Derek: Besides, There's no one else preparing this or something close to this.
Meanwhile.
Randy: So what we wanna do here Gopher is to make this bomb go off at a specific moment during Halftime.
Gopher: What moment would that be?
Jimbo: Well, John stamos older brother is all set to sing loving you during halftime, We want that bomb to go off when he hits that High F.
Gopher: What High F?
Randy: You know. Loving you! It's easy cause you're Beautiful Du in Du Du AHHH!.
Gopher: Alright Alright, So you want the trigger on the Du in Du Sonny.
Jimbo: No on the AHHH!
Gopher: Okay.
Meanwhile.
The team had taken a break.
Wendy: Stan what's wrong?
Stan: I just… I can't concentrate because my Dog is gay.
Dipper: Oh god this again?
Chef overheard this.
Chef: What again?
Mabel: Stan's upset because his dogs a homosexual.
Chef: Well you know what they say, You can't teach a dog straight tricks.
Mr Garrison suddenly came over.
Mr Garrison: Oh stop filling his head with Quer loving Propaganda Chef.
Chef: What? You of all people should be sympathetic.
Mr Garrison: W-What? What do you mean?
Chef: We'll your gay arent you?
Mr Garrison: WHAT? What the hell are you tlaking about I am not Gay!
Dipper: Kinda sound gay.
Mr Garrison: That's just my voice!
Wendy: And I've glimpsed you behaving gay.
Mr Garrison: I just do it to get chicks.
As Garrison continued to feebly defend himself, Stan noticed something.
Stan: Hey? Where's Sparky? He usually follows me to football practice.
Cartman: Maybe he went shopping for some leather pants.
Stan Punched cartman in response.
Meanwhile.
Sparky trudged through the Raging Cold and snowy winds, He had no idea where he was or where he was going, But he kept going anyway.
As he did he suddenly saw a big Pink Castle, A purple sign with yellow light reading Big Gay Al's Big Gay Animal Santuary.
Sparky went up to two big Red Doors and they flung open to reveal a Portly Man with Tan skin, He wore a Pink Hawian shirt which was open at the top, A blue Scarf and Brown corduroy Trousers.
Big Gay Al: Hello there little Pup, I'm Big Gay Al.
SParky perked up.
Big Gay Al: Are you an Outcast?
Sparky panted yes.
Big Gay Al: Than I'm so glad you found my Animal Sanctuary, We're all big gay friends here! Would you like to live here with us?
Sparky nodded.
Big Gay Al than ushered Sparky inside.
Big Gay Al: Come on in little Fellow, No one will ever oppress you here… For being gay that is…
Big Gay Al to a glance outside, Than closed the doors.
Two days later.
Stan was walking back home with Wendy and Mabel when Stan came up.
Stan: Have you guys seen my Dog? He still hasn't come back?
Dipper: After two days?
Stan: I think he might have run away.
Wendy: Oh that's terrible, You better look for him after the game.
Stan: I'm not playing.
Wendy, Dipper and Mabel were shocked.
Mabel: You What?!
Stan: I need to go find my dog, You coming Dipper?
Dipper: What!? No way, Last time I went with you, Your Sister nearly caved my Skull in!
Stan: You'll get out of Football.
Dipper: I'm in!
Mabel: Hey, Hey wait what about the Game!?
But they were already gone.
Wendy: Aw son of a Bitch!
Meanwhile.
Randy Jimbo and Ned snuck over the Middle park elementary school's wall, They found a Small Stable with a horse inside and Jimbo planted the Bomb on it.
Ned: What are we doing exactly?
Randy: Well you see, We usually kidnap Middle Park mascot, But this year, We're gonna booby trap it instead.
Jimbo: And when John Stamos' older brother hits that high F, BOOM! No more middle park players.
Ned: Sounds cool.
Meanwhile.
Wendy and Mabel were getting themselves dressed.
Wendy: Okay Mabel, Since Dipper and Stan are out, We're gonna have to take their place, Put on this Hairnet.
Mabel put on her Hairnet While Wendy did the same.
Mabel: But who will wave the Go Dipper flag?
Wendy: No one! Dippers not here!
Mabel: But we're impersonating Dipper.
Wendy: I know that! So?
Mabel: So who's gonna take ours?
Wendy: I already paid someone to dress up as me.
Mabel: Well I paid Waddles to dress as me.
She gestured to her pig, Who wore a mop and a sweater.
Wendy: ...Why?
Mabel: To be me, Silly.
Wendy deadpanned, Suddenly Trumpets started to play.
Wendy: The game!
Later.
Wendy and Mabel hurried outside and joined the two teams, Just as the Announcer began to speak.
Hamin: Hello Everyone this is Frank Hamin, Crossover town radio head 900, Welcome to today's matchup between, The Middle Park cowboys and the Crossover town Cows.
Chef looked at Wendy and Mabel suspiciously.
Chef: Stan? Dipper? What took you so long?
Wendy: What? Uh… Nothing, Right Dipper?
Mabel: Uh yeah we were just- Hey is that-?
Wendy elbowed Mabel to shut up, Among the Cheerleaders (who were oblivious to who Wendy really was for Plot convenience.) Was… Sokka, With a Black mop o flong hair and a Beret.
Sokka: This is… Not humiliating.
Mabel: You got one of Dipper's badass friends to dress as you?!
Wendy: He's dressed in drag before so why not.
Chef: C'mon boys in the field!
Mabel and Wendy hurriedly joined the other kids in the Field.
Meanwhile.
Dipper and Stan trudged through the storm and soon came upon Big Gay Al's Animal Sanctuary.
Dipper: What the heck is that?
Big Gay Al suddenly appeared at the door.
Big Gay Al: Hi little Fella's how are both you doing today?
Stan: Uh… Fine how are you?
Big Gay Al: I'm super Thanks for asking.
Dipper: I'm Dipper and this is Stan… His dog ran away and we were wondering if he came here.
Big Gay Al: Well lets see.
The boys Followed Al inside and found al kinds on Non-Anthropomorhic Homosexual Animals.
Stan: Do you have alot of Gay Animals here?
Big Gay Al: We have all sorts of Gay Animals around here, Over here we have a gay Lion.
Gay lion: Roar.
Big Gay Al: And we have Gay Waterbuffalo, Gay Humming Bird, And here's a gaggle of Gay Gooses.
Dipper: Wow, Alot of Gay Animals here.
Stan: and seem really happy too.
Big Gay Al: Of course it is Silly bums, Its the one place Gay Non-Anthromorphs can really be themselves, You like to Dance?
Big Gay Al hit a light and a dance floor lit up, Gay Animals began dancing everywhere.
Meanwhile.
Back at the Game.
Wendy: Okay Cartman you hike the Ball, Then I'll throw it to Kyle and he'll try and score, Ready?
All: Break!
The Team took their positions.
Cowboy leader: You guys are toast.
Cowboy: Yeah, We're gonna pound your head in.
Cartman: We'll just see about that.
Cartman took hold of the Ball and passed through his legs to Wendy.
Hamin: The ball is set, Middle Park blitzes!
Middle Park Cowboys instantly piled onto Wendy and snatched the Ball.
Hamin: What's This? Stan lost the Ball! Middle Park runs it in for a touchdown! The score is 7 to Nothing! Middle park with 14.57 remaining in the first corner.
Randy: What the Hell Stan!
Randy was Grabbed by a Blue Cat.
Nichole: If we lose our Money thanks to you, Your Dead Marsh!
Jimbo: Hey, Don't worry… Just wait until Halftime.
Meanwhile.
Stan and Dipper searched through the Lights And Dancing Animals for Sparky, Until at last Stan saw him.
Stan: Sparky!
Stan hurried over to him.
Stan: Hiya Sparky, How's it going?
Sparky barked.
Stan: I missed you old pal, You really had me scared, C'mon Dipper and I can Still make it to the Game! Than we can work on not making you gay some more.
Sparky sat down at the last part.
Stan: Sparky?
Dipper: Are you kidding me?!
Big Gay Al: Hmm, Looks like your friend still doesn't understand.
Stan: What don't I understand?
Big Gay Al: Come this way.
Meanwhile.
Hamin: Just over a minute to go and a half and the score is Middle Park cowboys 52 to Crossover town cows 0.
Cartman Hiked the Ball to Mabel, Who was instantly tackled and beaten.
Meanwhile, Derek and his Lackeys lurked behind the Bleachers, Derek smirked as he Pulled a bow out.
Derek: If that Pines asshole thinks he can't suffer enough, Just wait until this Happens, Tie up the Sack Chandler!
Chandler Presented the Arrow with the Sack tie to it, Derek took it in his hand and notched the Bow.
Meanwhile.
Big Gay Al: Alright Kids, Consider yourselves the First guests for my Big Gay Boat ride!
Al led them to a Small Pink tour boat and they all climbed inside.
Big Gay Al: Hello Everyone, And Welcome aboard the Big Gay boat ride, On this Adventure, We'll be seeing the world of Gayness throguh out time.
The Boat moved Down the River.
Big Gay Al: You see, Gayness has existed since the beginning of time, From Pre-Merge Egyptian Pharaohs, To Pre-Merge Shoguns of Japan, Uh oh, Look out It's the Oppressors, Christians and Republicans and Nazi's oh my! Along with the big bad… Uh Actually we won't go into them.
Dipper: Into who.
Big Gay Al: Uh… you know the uh… Oh I know lets steer our Big Gay Boat out of here and to a place where gays are allowed to live Freely.
The boat drew up to a door which opened to show Anamatrotic gay people singing and Dancing.
Gay Anamatronics: We're all Gay and It's okay
Cause gay means happy and Happy means gay!
We're not sad anymore, Cause we're out the Closet door.
It's okay- to be Gay!
Big Gay Al: so what do you think Stan.
Stan: This kicks ass! I'm Sorry I tried to change you Spark, I just didn't understand.
Dipper: Mr Al, What was that Fourth thing before?
Big Gay Al: What? Oh that? You… know What.
Suddenly a harsh knowing was heard at the door.
Big Gay Al: Oh shoot…
Big Gay Al went to the Main hall, Followed by Stan, Dipper and Sparky, All the Animals suddenly scurried into various hiding places.
Stan: Who is it?
Dipper: The fourth thing?
Big Gay Al: Well… Not quite, It's what I-
Suddenly the Door burst open and Seven Men poured in, All armed with Guns.
The Man in the Middle walked forward, He was a Skinny Man, With a black leather jacket, Black jean trousers, Black boots and had brown hair.
?: Well, Well, Well, Big Gay Al, Bean looking for you, How you doing?
Big Gay Al: I'm super… Thanks for Asking, Mr Sykes.
Dipper: Sykes? Bill Sykes.
Stan: No… I think that's one of his Brothers.
Sykes: Ben Sykes, My Brother Bill's top crime lord and my Brother Baryy leads a hunting Party.
Big Gay Al: And you lead the biggest Villain Mercenary faction in the Lands.
Ben Sykes: Ah yes, The A.C.S we're called Or as we're Formally known.
Big Gay Al: The Animal Cruelty Squad.
Ben Sykes: Ah that's right, I was just about to say that.
Big Gay Al: What is it that you want Sykes?
Ben Sykes: Nothin, just… Browsing, For nice good Animals.
Stan: If you wanna oppress gays.
Ben Sykes: Oppress gays? Me? No, I quite Respectful towrds gays, One of my boys are gay, Ain't you Arnold.
A short Man with a Blue vest gave a wave.
Ben Sykes: So, Al where are the Animals, I see one right there.
Sparky hid behind Stan.
Big Gay Al: We'll there may be a few Animals here or there but there not for you.
Ben Sykes: Oh? Who said we were buying, We just want to Kill a few and Torture some.
Big Gay Al: That's all? Well all I can say to that is… HAVE LEAD!
Big Gay Al suddenly pulled out a Machine Gun and began firing at Ben Sykes and his men, They all scrambled for cover as Al kept firing.
Big Gay Al: You've tortured enough Animals you scum!
Ben Sykes: Get his Ass!
Sykes Men popped from their Hiding places and Fired on All, Who took cover in a coroner with the Boys.
Big Gay Al: Boys! Take your Dog and get out of here, I'll cover you!
Dipper: We can't just leave you and the Other gay animals alone!
Stan: Hang on, I have a Plan!
Meanwhile.
Hamin: And now, Here to sing loving you is the one and only John Stamos Brother.
As the song began, Randy and Jimbo spotted Erique near the Cowboys and Grinned, Richard Stamos took to the Stage and began to sing.
Richard Stamos: Loving you-
Is easy cause you're Beautiful!
Do in Do Do Do Do!
Ah!
Ah!
Jimbo: What the Hell?! Where's the high F?
Mr Mackey: Yeah, Richard Stamos can't sing a High F he always screws it up like this.
Randy: Oh god we're screwed!
Behind the Bleachers, Derek still was aiming at Mabel.
Derek: Prepare for Fun Pines!
Meanwhile.
While Ben Sykes and his Gang continued their Barrage, Big Gay Al had seamingly given up his.
Ben Sykes: Come on Out Ally, We'll only blow your brains out!
There came no reply, Suddenly the Minions couldn't fire their guns anymore.
Ben Sykes: What the? Arnold? Murry? What's going on?
Murry: Our guns ain't firing, We're out of Amo.
Dipper: Lucky for us?
Ben and his men turned to see, A whole Gang of Gay animals Snarling right at them.
Stan: I think you might wanna run.
Sykes men screamed and ran out of there as fast as they could, Ben followed to But stopped to look back.
Ben Sykes: You're lucky I didn't bring the Entire Faction.
And he Ran off.
Big Gay Al: Well thank you boys for Everything.
Dipper: Your Welcome Big Gay Al, Thank you for helping us.
Stan: We'd like to stay but we gotta get back to the big game.
And with that, Stan, Dipper and Sparky headed off.
Big Gay Al: Oh, Stan, Dipper, When you guys go back to town, Tell them about us will you? Tell them there are gay animals here, Who need homes, Desperately.
Dipper: We will Big Gay Al.
And Dipper, Stan and Sparky set off for home.
Meanwhile.
Hamin: These Crossover town cows are being absolutely molested by these Cowboys.
Mr Garrison: I thought you said Beating the Spread was a sure thing Randy!
Mr Hat: Yeah! We all put our life savings in this game.
Randy: I didn't say this game was sure! Jimbo did!
Richard Waterson: You! Jimbo, What's the Difference?
Jimbo: We're gonna die.
Mabel had been knocked over by a Cowboy and was slowly getting to her feet as she did, Derek saw his "Chance."
Derek: Fire in the Sky!
Derek then shot the Arrow into the Air, It flew over Mabel's head and the Sack unfurled, As he fell, A cowboy knocked Mabel out of the Way, The Sack landed and out came a very pissed, Non-Anthropomorphic… Weasel.
Derek: Uh… Was that supposed to...
The Weasel then scurried up and began Biting Scratching and Clawing at Derek's head!
Derek: Ah! Oh God, Somebody Somebody! Someone get it off!
Chandler and Terrance just stared blankly.
Hamin: Well folks that just about wraps it up for- Wait a minute what this?!
Dipper and Stan exited right out of the School building, Much to everyone's shock.
Hamin: Star quarterback Stan Marsh and new play Dipper pines? But then who?
Chef then looked at Wendy and Pulled her Helmet off, Everyone was stunned.
Randy: Well that explains a lot.
Mabel's helmet was also knocked off.
Chef: What the Hell's going on!
Wendy: Uh… Me and Mabel were filling in For Stan and Dipper.
Chef: Well where the Hell were you two?!
Stan: I was out getting my Dog.
Chef: Okay, Mabel Wendy get over here and Boys get in there!
Mabel limped back to the field and handed dipper his helmet and the two boys went into the field.
Jimbo: No idea what just Happened but Give 'em Hell for Real Stan!
The two teams took positions.
Randy: Jesus… I've not asked you for much lately, But all we need is one little score, Please Jesus?
Jesus: leave me alone.
Kyle hiked the Ball to Stan.
Hamin: Stan gets the Ball, Dipper waves his Arms.
Dipper: Stan! I'm open I think!
Stan threw the Ball to Dipper.
Hamin: And he throws it to Dipper!
Dipper ran to the Enemy goal with the Cowboys hot on his Tail, He jumped and Landed on the field as the Cowboys piled on to him.
Hamin: Touch down! Crossover town Beats the Spread!
Everyone Cheered, Stan, Dipper, Mabel and Wendy then took to the Stage.
Mac: Speach!
Hamin: Stan, What do you wanna tell the Town about this Stunning, Almost victory?
Stan: Uh… We finally beat the Spread against the Cowboys!
Everyone cheered.
Stan: And maybe we can beat them more next year!
Everyone cheered again.
Stan: And there's nothing wrong with being Gay!
The Crowd went silent.
Sharon: What?
Dipper: yeah being gay is nothing to be ashamed of.
Mr Garrison: What the Hell are they talking about?
Hamin: Uh Kids… What exactly is going on? Where exactly were you? Why were your Girlfriend/ His Cousin and Sister dressed up like you?
Mark: And why is Sokka dressed as Wendy?
Wendy: Me and Mabel didn't want the Spread not beaten so we pretended to be Stan and Dipper when they left.
Stan: And my dog went missing so Dipper and I went looking for him and we met this Big Gay Al guy, Who showed us all about the wonders of Gayity and we fought Ben Sykes to together.
Jack: WHAT?
Stan: It's true, We'll show you.
Later.
Stan and Dipper led everyone to the place where Big Gay Al's Santuary was, But it wasent there.
Stan: But it was here… It was all right here!
Dipper: Yeah there was Big Pink castle and Everything.
Wendy: So you guys left us to impersonate you, To get high on Cough medicine?
Stan: Who said anything about Cough medicine.
Rabbit: Look!
Everyone looked to see All the Gay Animals standing around.
Woman: Oliver!
A woman picked up her cat.
Woman 1: I thought you ran away like a month ago!
Woman 2: Sidney!
Man 1: Wailey!
Man 2: Carlos!
Rat: Where did they come from?!
Big Gay Al: Boys, Thank you for bringing everyone here.
Dipper: Oh there you are, Where's the castle.
Big Gay Al: I packed it up, My work here is done.
Al pulled out a Yellow suitcase and climbed inside.
Big Gay Al: Good-by Kids, Peace be with you!
The suitcase spun around and flew away!
Mabel: Wow, That was cool!
Wendy: So what now?
Dipper: I don't know, A segway into something unrelated to this episode?
Richard Samos suddenly appeared.
Richard Samos: Wait Everyone I can do it!
Toad: Do what?
Richard Samos: Loving you!
Is easy cause you're beautiful!
Do in Do Do Do!
AHHH!
Randy and Jimbo: NO!
KA-BOOM!
Randy: ...It was Jimbo's Idea!
Meanwhile.
Derek was wheeled into an Ambulance.
Derek: Somebody get my Mommy! Somebody get my Lawyer! Somebody get me a Nurse, Somebody get me a candy!
Queen Grimhilde glowered at the Image shown to her.
Grimhilde: Why did I ask for this! Mirror, Mirror, On the wall, Return to your Original image!
Magic mirror: What would though now know my Queen?
Grimhilde: Magic Mirror on the Wall, I told you to show my next Conquest!
Magic Mirror: Our forces have already failed to take France, And other territory outside the Kingdom have already been taken.
Grimhilde: Damn… This will not do, I need something or Someone to Increase my power and Turn this war in my Favor.
Warpclaw and Evelyvanna stood off to the Side.
Evelyvanna: My queen, Perhaps if I were to continue my Search for Snow white.
Grimhilde: No need for now, IK demand to know the Status of the Ghouls!
Evelyvanna: They are almost prepared my Queen, the third batch has already been Formed, However they still prove unstable and require someone in-tune to their nature to be controlled.
Grimhilde: Find that someone! Warpclaw.
Warpclaw: Your generals have returned.
The door was opened and two men walked in, One looked like a An Aztec Shoman and the other was a Skeletal being in blueish black robes with Red trim and yellow eyes.
Queen Grimhilde: Ah, Tzekel-Kan and Richard welcome home.
Tzekel-Kan: My queen, I regret to inform you, That our forces were routed from France's borders.
Queen Grimhilde: I know.
Richard: However, We found something else we believe may… Entice you.
Queen Grimhilde: Bring it in.
Two Tribal looking Rats carted in what looked like a large grey Sarcophagus with a triceratops head.
Queen Grimhilde: Excellent…
To be Continued.
Oh my, What had Queen Grimhilde found now? Find out in future installments of Crossover legends, Until next time!