Author's Note: For my mind alone did these stories beg to be told. But those who joined me for this wild ride? Know that I'm grateful.

Find a beautiful love

Look straight into their eyes

Make sure they know

They're your morning light

And that you'll never let go

Till the day that you die

This here is love

This here is life

Caamp - "Of Love and Life"

Principal Clarke sat at her desk and stared at her lacquered wooden name plate. She ran an index finger over the letters and sighed. "Two weeks as superintendent. Six months as principal. Quite the impressive tenure, Louisa."

She flicked the nameplate onto the floor just as the walkie-talkie on her hip crackled.

"Principal Clarke!" Nick Dean's frantic voice filled the office.

Louisa lazily grabbed the receiver and asked, "Yes, Nicholas?"

"They found the grades!"

Principal's Clarke jumped up and asked, "You have them?"

"Not yet," Nick hastily explained. "But Cindy and Jimmy went to go get them. We need to buy them as much time as we can."

"Hold on," Ms. Clarke said after her walkie-talkie chirped. She switched the receiver's channel and asked, "What is it?"

Atop the roof, a former acolyte of the Dark Brotherhood peeked over the barrier's edge. "I see them, ma'am," Theo said. Down the street, three suited men rounded the corner in perfect synchrony and headed towards the school. "A hundred yards and closing!"

Ms. Clarke clenched the radio tighter while changing the frequency. "Nicholas, I must meet the auditors. I need to mute this while I try to slow them down, but I'll be constantly transmitting. Listen and help as you can."

"Don't worry, ma'am. Ike and Meagan have some ideas on how to stop them. We have your back."

"Godspeed," Ms. Clarke said while turning off the radio's volume. She tucked the receiver into the back of her pantsuit's waistband, then reached under her desk and pressed a red button. An ear-splitting klaxon and flashing lights filled every room in the school.

The principal grabbed the PA microphone and said, "This is it, everyone. The auditors are here. Proceed to your stations and act normal. They must not see an ounce of absurdity!"

While most students took deep breaths or meditated, three children filled the boy's locker room with suds and steam. A tall boy covered in clown makeup cringed as his friends held him under a scalding shower and scrubbed away his face paint.

"Why did you wear this today?" one of his friends shouted while nearly ripping off his skin with a loofah.

"You don't even like clowns," his other pal moaned while popping the boy's menagerie of balloon animals.

The fool balled his hands into fists and shouted, "I don't know who I am anymore!"

Ms. Clarke straightened the wrinkles from her suit while approaching R.M.S.'s main entrance. The double doors swung open, a blast of disconcertingly chill air filled the lobby, and the three auditors stepped inside. The bureaucrats locked their beady eyes on Clarke and marched towards her.

The three men were nearly identical. Each was six feet tall and sported black Dean Oxfords with three-piece charcoal suits. Their thinning dark brown hair and crow's feet pegged them as mid-forties, though the ancient wisdom in their eyes made them seem disconcertingly older.

"Hello. I'm Principal Louisa Clarke." She offered the trio a hand which they stared at with alien curiosity.

"I am Aamon," the middle bureaucrat said while grabbing her palm with his own icy hand. My colleagues are Rickon and Devon." He withdrew his hand grasp and said, "The audit has begun."

The sonorous sound of a faraway gong reverberated throughout the school.

"The academic records," Aamon instructed. "Show them to us."

Ms. Clarke forced a smile. "I'd be happy to, though our grades would be best examined at the end of the audit."

"Why?" Rickon snarled.

"Our students are still finishing their final exams and projects."

Aamon said, "All grades were to be logged by the time of our arrival."

"I understand, but this school had multiple scholastic deficiencies earlier in the year."

"Yessssss," Devon hissed. He ran a tongue over his thin lips and whispered, "The foam wars."

Ms. Clarke hid her disgust and explained, "To make up for that tomfoolery, I made sure that our finals were more robust than usual. I assure you, they will be done by final bell and you shall find everything up to muster."

Rickon and Devon turned to Aamon, who stood in silence.

Ms. Clarke tentatively went on, "I believe our cooking class is currently proving their mastery of a wide variety of dishes. Perhaps you would like to inspect that area first? You could even grade some of the meals."

"Hmm," Aamon considered her offer. "The journey was long. Sustenance is indeed necessary. Take us there."

Ms. Clarke asked, "Is there anything in particular you'd like the students to make for you?"

The auditors reflexively smacked their chops and began to salivate.

"Egg."

"Vinegar."

"Sea urchins and anemones."

Inside the Spittoon, Nick sat at a table with his ear bent over a radio. He snapped his fingers and pointed to Ethan. "Head to the cafeteria. You and whatever Alliance kids are free bring eggs and vinegar to the cooking lab."

"On it," Ethan promised while sprinting out of the room.

Nick turned to Angie, who sat by his side. "Where do we find sea urchins?"

From the bar, Carl chided, "Don't forget the amonenees!"

Angie's mind flashed back to one of her old Canterbury subjects and her wheelbarrow of shellfish. She told Nick, "The aquaculture club in the science wing."

"Go," Nick told her before switching his walkie's channel. He thumbed the transceiver and said, "Sheen, do you have the crowd?"

"Don't worry, chief," Sheen answered into his own radio. He stopped in front of the auditorium and turned to face the fifty kids trailing him. "We're here."

Sheen opened the door and ushered the students inside. "Get in your seats, everybody. No time to waste!" When the crowd had thinned to two dozen, he abruptly closed the door. "I need the rest of you to make a crazy line in the hallway."

A confused seventh-grade girl raised an eyebrow and asked, "What exactly is a crazy line?"

Oleander protested, "And I want to see the show."

"We'll do an encore!" Sheen shouted while arranging the students in a zig-zagging queue that repeatedly obstructed the corridor. When the last preteen was in place, he craned his neck to find Principal Clarke and the auditors nearly upon him.

"Oh dear," Ms. Clarke stiltedly said while slowing her pace. "It appears, uh, that we cannot pass."

"We can," Aamon growled. He warned, "Move, children."

Sheen jumped between the auditors and the crowd. "We can't lose our place in line. Just wait a few minutes and then we'll head inside."

"No," Aamon said while pushing Sheen aside and plowing through the queue.

Sheen wrapped his arms around Aamon's legs, but the bureaucrat wasn't slowed. Rickon and Devon repeatedly stepped on the rapidly bruising teenager until Principal Clarke realized why Oleander kept pointing towards the auditorium.

"Inquisitors!" Louisa said. "One of our final projects is going on inside of that room. You should judge if it is up to par. And besides, don't you need to verify that the fire exits are unobstructed?"

Sheen's breath came in nauseating gurgles as the auditors ceased their advance. "She speaks the truth," Aamon said with a hint of despair. "The anemones must wait."

Principal Clarke watched the inspectors head inside. Once they were out of the corridor, she knelt over Sheen and helped him up. "Mr. Estevez, are you okay?"

"Barely felt it," Sheen groaned as his back spasmed.

Ms. Clarke faced the door and whispered, "What exactly is going on in there?"

"I don't know," Sheen shrugged while the principal helped him hobble inside. "Nick just told me to get a bunch of people here as quick as I could."

Oleander eagerly led the kids in the hallway inside and took the nearest empty seats. Principal Clarke, Sheen, and the auditors stayed standing while Evan White walked onstage. He stood before a long velvet curtain and clapped his hands nine times while obnoxiously clearing his throat. "AH AH HEM."

"Oh no," Louisa moaned while pinching the bridge of her nose.

Evan slicked back his hair and flashed the crowd a smarmy grin. "Welcome, ladies and gents. You are about to witness a performance that has been gestating in my brain for years. Thanks to the stellar tutelage of Principal Clarke…"

Evan motioned at Louisa, who shook her head in disgust.

"Our school's burgeoning thespians have evolved beyond merely reciting others' words and imbuing them with emotion. You see, the emotion itself is where the art lies. Hence, this year's final performance. Enjoy The Mind's Prison."

The curtain rose to reveal Butch and Aashna wearing black and white striped shirts, red neckerchiefs, and white face paint. They stared around in exaggerated confusion, tried to retreat backstage, and bounced off an imaginary wall.

Principal Clarke leaned towards Sheen and whispered, "Really, Mr. Estevez? Evan White and mimes?"

"We had three minutes to plan this," Sheen grumbled.

The auditors watched in indecipherable silence while Butch and Aashna silently shouted at each other. Butch lifted the girl up, she popped open an invisible hatch, and then leapt down closer towards the audience. She took a step forward before bouncing off another wall.

"There," Evan said while stifling a sniffle. "Before you lies the ultimate symbol of mankind's eternal struggle against the thoughts that both free and confine us. For life is nothing but a Sisyphean cycle of…"

Aamon interrupted, "Most profound." He glanced at a door on the far side of the room. "And the fire exit is clearly labeled. We must move on."

Ms. Clarke thrust her palms towards them. "Surely you should watch the whole show. It would mean a lot to the kids."

The auditor narrowed his eyes while saying, "Time is short, and the anemones await. Resume the march, Clarke."

Louisa offered a tiny nod and lead them back into the hallway.

"Dang it," Sheen grumbled once they were gone. He whipped out his radio and said, "Nick, that only bought us a couple of minutes. They're on the move again."

Nick grit his teeth and changed his transceiver's channel. "Meagan, they're headed your way. Are you ready?"

"Maybe?" Meagan offered while helping Ms. Wolf wheel a pallet jack down the hallway. The two fifty-gallon containers atop the hand truck wobbled while they approached a pair of plastic Jersey barriers blocking the hallway. Yen leaned against the farther barricade while Bennett swung his open. Ms. Wolf and Meagan parked their cargo before the blockade and popped the lid off of the top container.

Meagan studied the gruel-like liquid inside. "Yo teach, are you sure this stuff will work?"

"I studied the fabric of the universe, Buckshot. I think I can handle mixing cornstarch and water. Just dump it."

"On three," Bennett instructed. "One, two, three."

Yen watched as the trio tipped over the enormous container. A flood of grey ooze lazily spread across the floor and reached Yen's barrier.

Yen peeked around the nearby bend in the hallway. "They're coming!"

Bennett and Meagan hastily emptied the other container before shoving the pallet jack down another corridor. While it rolled away, Ms. Wolf swung the other Jersey barrier closed and sealed the viscous liquid in place.

"Whoa," Yen thrust out a palm to ward off the approaching auditors' advance. "Sorry, but you can't go through. We've got some quicksand here."

Aamon narrowed his eyes at Clarke. "All manner of tropical hazards are strictly forbidden from the halls."

Ms. Wolf scoffed. "Don't worry your freaky little heads. This is just my science class's end-of-the-year experiment." She wrapped an arm around Meagan and squeezed the shocked student painfully close. "Buckshot's here my best student and made this to cap off our lectures on non-Newtonian fluids."

Yen added, "The Janitor Apprenticeship Program will clean this up in about a half hour. You'll have to wait until then to cross."

"We ford the dark stream now," Aamon said while vaulting over the barrier and plopping into the quicksand. His compatriots mirrored his movements, then the trio tried to cross the goo.

"It's actually working," Meagan grinned as the auditors became stuck in place.

"Adjusting density," Aamon roared while arching his back. The hallway echoed with a chorus of sickening pops and cracks as the men's joints began to shift.

Ms. Wolf's jaw dropped as the men began to glide through the sinking sand. "What the hell?"

"Aw come on," Meagan groaned while whipping out her radio. "Nick, that didn't work either. They're nearly at the cooking lab."

Nick rubbed a hand over his face and said, "We've still got two shots at this. Hopefully Alex's cooking keeps them occupied until Ike's team is ready."

Thirty minutes later, the auditors and Ms. Clarke exited the cooking laboratory. Rickon proclaimed, "That meal was most impressive."

Devon agreed, "The vinegar was perfectly malty."

Aamon nodded and told Clarke, "You impress us, but it is now time to see the academic records."

Principal Clarke slowly nodded. "Of course. You can review them in the computer lab on the third floor. There are a few other parts of the audit you can cross off your list on the way."

Nick sucked in a nervous breath and asked, "Ike's team, are you all in position?"

Ike answered first. "Carl and I are near the stairs and waiting for the lights."

Betty said, "I'm at the main fuse box. Just tell me when to flip the switch."

Courtney said, "Libby's in the boiler room, but I had to go get something. We were having trouble."

"What trouble?" Nick asked. "You're running out of time."

Inside the dimly lit and humid boiler room, Libby stood under a crisscrossing network of steam pipes. She struggled to turn a ball valve against increasingly firm resistance. She groaned and pulled with all her strength, but the wheel wouldn't turn another inch.

"Any progress?" Courtney asked while wheeling a red wagon filled with bowls of ice water into the room.

"Nope," Libby groaned before releasing the valve. She placed her hand against the pipe, closed her eyes, and tried to get a sense of the minute rumblings inside. "It's still too fast and I don't feel scared."

"One last shot, then," Courtney said. She picked up a bowl of water and warned, "Get out of the way. A change in temperature might lower the frequency enough."

Libby stepped aside and Courtney tossed the near-freezing water onto the pipe. The series of tubes began to shake and emit a barely audible rumbling sound.

Courtney dropped the bowl and stared around the room in terror. Libby gulped and grabbed her radio wish madly shaking hands. "I-I th-th-think w-we did it."

An overwhelming sense of dread washed over every person inside of Retroville Middle School. Nick grasped his palpitating heart with one hand and his walkie with the other. "Infrasound is active. Betty, kill the lights near the western stairwell. Ike and Carl, get to work."

The lights cut out just as the auditors arrived at the staircase. The hairs on the men's arms stood to attention as they were gripped with the terror of impending death.

"OOoooOOOooo," two distant moans echoed through the halls.

"What is that?" Aamon anxiously swiveled his gaze all around. "What's happening?"

With the few dim rays from distant lights and windows, the auditors made out two ghosts dash past the second floor landing.

"Begone, foul auditors," Ike bellowed from beneath his white sheet.

"Yeah, get ow!," Carl moaned before running headfirst into a bank of lockers.

While the boy collapsed to the ground, Aamon's blood chilled to ice. "Brothers, center yourselves!"

He thrust both hands towards the men on either side of him. Once their shaking palms were united, Aamon closed his eyes and sucked in a deep breath. While Ike helped a groaning Carl up, Aamon said, "Remember our origins."

Behind three sets of closed eyes, as many minds displayed the same image. A trio of brothers floated in one womb and swam towards a bright light.

Aamon felt his brothers' pulses slow. "We were born into a world of chaos which we are bound to right. Remember what we have sacrificed."

Aamon stood in a field of wildflowers amidst the pouring rain. His brothers waited among the towering weeds, harboring not a faint illusion that Aamon would stray from their path.

Aamon dropped his lover's hand and said, "It shan't be, Clarissa. Our love cannot eclipse my duty. The Retroville Department of Education needs all of me. So I have nothing left to offer you."

Aamon's cruel words and the harsh squeeze of her corset shunted all oxygen from Clarissa's brain. She collapsed to the ground and her vision narrowed to pinpoints. The last sight she would ever have of her beloved was him turning his back on her and walking towards his destiny.

Carl and Ike descended the stairs and began to encircle the auditors.

"OooooOooo, only death awaits you here," Ike moaned.

"You'll get a stomach ache if you stay," Carl said while wiggling his fingers.

Ike warned, "Those who are slain by us have their souls forever stolen."

Carl poked Aamon in the side and said, "Oh, a ghost is poking you!"

Aamon clenched his jaw and triumphantly shouted, "Remember who you are!"

"We are auditors!" the three brothers roared while opening their eyes. Rickon ripped a sheet off of Ike while Devon did the same with Carl.

Aamon grabbed both boys by their collars and growled, "Infrasound."

The boys gulped while Aamon spun on Clarke. "Return the lights and stop the vibrations, or your school falls."

Nick cringed as the auditor's words crackled from his radio. He ran a hand through his hair, grit his teeth, and snapped, "Betty and Courtney, stop what you're doing. Get this place back to normal, now!"

The lights flickered on and the infrasound ceased its disconcerting effects. Ms. Clarke cleared her throat and said, "Oh dear. These boys must have been rehearsing for our, er, Halloween Extravaganza."

Aamon dropped the boys and closed the gap between him and the principal. He tilted his head towards her and bared his teeth. "You insult us with your transparent tricks. The grades are not satisfactory, are they?"

"That's not true," Principal Clarke assured them. "We have exceeded the district's academic requirements."

"Then prove it," Aamon said. "No more distractions. Bring us to the computer lab. Show us the proof."

Principal Clarke steeled herself and met the man's harsh stare. "At once, sir."

Nick leapt off his chair and sprinted out of the Spittoon. "Everyone, get to the computer lab. Now!"

Nick dashed across the school and up the stairs faster than he'd ever imagined he could move. He plowed through the computer lab's closed door, stumbled to the ground, and looked up to find a lone sixth-grader playing Oregon Trail.

"GET OUT!" Nick hysterically screamed.

The boy recoiled from Nick's stray spittle and bloodshot eyes. While Butch and Aashna dashed inside, he nervously pointed at his monitor. "But I'm almost at the Willamette Valley and no one's died of dysentery."

Nick clambered to his feet and ordered his friends, "Get rid of him!"

"You're outta here!" Butch said while picking the boy up over his head. He tossed the protesting child into a nearby wheelie bin. Aashna slammed a lid over the garbage container, rolled it into the hallway, and shoved it down the stairs.

While the rest of his friends ran inside, Nick started powering off computers two at a time. "Everyone shut them down!"

The kids did as they were told and managed to kill the last monitor just before the auditors arrived. Aamon stepped over the threshold and watched as the kids shivered from the abruptly frigid air. He cocked his head as the students backed into the corner of the room. Bennett and Yen stood in front of the group and held out their arms to shield them.

Aamon said, "You have come to view your reckoning, have you not?"

Bennett offered a steely nod.

"Then brace yourselves for the inevitable." Aamon faced Clarke and asked, "Where are the grades?"

Ms. Clarke swallowed hard and slowly answered, "You can pull them up on any computer."

Aamon took the nearest seat and moved the mouse. "Powered off. Curious."

Libby volunteered, "We shut them down when they're not in use. Saving the environment and all."

"Noble. Convenient," Aamon whispered while flipping the machine on. The screen brightened and asked for a password. Aamon turned back to the students. "What is the password?"

Nick steeled himself and strode forward. "I'll put it in for you."

Nick typed a random series of letters, hit RETURN, and watched the screen shake. While Aamon narrowed his eyes, Nick said, "Sorry. Wrong key."

Nick typed once more and watched the screen vibrate.

Aamon growled, "Another error and the audit is failed."

Nick sighed and typed in the correct sequence.

Aamon narrowed his eyes at the boy while he retreated back to his friends. The auditor turned to Clarke and asked, "Now, how do I access the grades?"

Principal Clarke couldn't think of what to say.

"Well?" Aamon asked.

Sheen asked, "Anyone hear a fire alarm?"

Meagan eagerly nodded. "Yeah, and I smell smoke."

Aamon raised a palm and thrust it towards the children. He kept his eyes fixed on Louisa and said, "Three seconds, Principal Clarke. If you do not give me the grades by then, this charade is over."

Clarke gulped and pleaded, "If you'll just-"

Aamon held up three fingers and began slowly ticking them down. "Three. Two. One."

He began to curl the last finger into his fist. "Ze-"

"WE HAVE THE GRADES!" Cindy's voice echoed from the stairwell.

Aamon shifted his gaze towards the door. Cindy burst through, her sweat-slicked waterfall braid sticking to her neck. She panted for breath and studied the three suited men. She turned to her principal and gasped, "The auditors?" When Clarke nodded, Cindy faced Aamon and offered the zip drive. "Here. This is all of the grades."

Aamon stared down at Cindy and asked, "Why are you wounded?"

Cindy stared at the countless barely clotted lacerations on her arms. "Uh, fencing club?"

While Aamon plucked the data drive from Cindy's grasp, Jimmy and Eustace hobbled into the room. Sweat poured down their red faces, they collapsed against the teacher's desk, and Eustace gasped, "I've never run before."

Rickon stepped forward and asked Clarke, "Why do students have access to your academic records?"

Devon gave a quick nod and joined his brothers. "That is unacceptable."

Cindy thrust her palms towards them. "No no, it's okay! Eustace was the one who had them. And he's not a student here."

Aamon narrowed his eyes. "That is worse."

Sheen shouted, "Don't worry. He's part of the, uh, the I.O.P.R.K.D.!"

Libby chimed in, "Yeah, the Interschool Outreach Program Rich Kids Division. Eustace's school has so much money that they wanted to help R.M.S."

"Wow, that's nice," Carl shot Eustace a grateful smile.

Jimmy added, "So his school held onto our academic records until they finished upgrading our cybersecurity systems."

Aamon stayed silent for an excruciating moment, then said, "Acceptable." He returned to his seat at the computer and plugged in the zip drive. He tried to access the files but was prompted for a password.

Eustace said, "It's aperire animo. No spaces or capitals."

Once the code was entered, Aamon opened a spreadsheet with hundreds of lines of data. He quickly scrolled through the file and said, "Every student is here, with all necessary classes."

Rickon and Devon peered over their brother's shoulders.

Rickon said, "The pass rate is sufficient."

Devon clicked on a random student's history scores. When a collection of scanned tests popped on screen, he said, "Random inspection shows adequate evidence."

Aamon clicked on a few other data points and saw more proof that the grades were accurate. The kids and Ms. Clarke traded anxious stares until Aamon finally rose from his seat. He turned to the principal and said, "It is adequate."

Cindy and her mentor traded disbelieving stares. Louisa asked Aamon, "So, we passed the audit?"

"Yes," Aamon answered.

"Oh hell ya!" Meagan screamed while raising two fists over her head.

"Thank you," Principal Clarke grabbed Aamon's hand and began to pump it over and over. "Thank you so much!"

"Yes, thank you!" Cindy said while snatching Aamon's other palm and flapping it up and down.

Aamon stayed silent and flaccid while principal and president waved his arms around. After a few seconds the final bell rang and drew everyone's focus.

Aamon said, "The audit is over. The year is done. We must be gone."

The lights flickered and died. By the time they came back on, the auditors were nowhere to be seen.

Nick shook his head and said, "So many questions. But most importantly, did we actually save the day?"

Ms. Clarke flashed the boy a humongous grin. "Yes, Nicholas. You certainly did."

Ike clapped Nike on the shoulder and said, "Then I know what we're doing now. Time to hole up in the Spittoon and throw the biggest party any of us have ever seen."

Bennett glared at the clock over the whiteboard and said, "The school year's over. That means…" he turned to Clarke and asked, "Would it be okay if we stayed?"

Principal Clarke said, "After what we went through, the building is yours. Just lock up when you're done."

"You could do that if you wanted," Nick offered. "Why don't you celebrate with us?"

The principal considered the invitation. "Tempting, but I'm going to have an enormous glass of Cabernet Sauvignon and watch You've Got Mail until my eyes bleed. But first, I need a moment alone with these three." She pointed at Eustace, Jimmy, and Cindy.

"Ooooooohhhh," Sheen deviously whispered.

Cindy ignored him while Nick told her and Jimmy, "We'll start getting things set up. Meet us in the saloon when you're done."

Nick gently punched Jimmy's and flashed Cindy an adoring smile while leading his friends out of the computer lab.

Once they were alone, Principal Clarke crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at Eustace. "This seems like a good time to ask, who exactly are you?"

Eustace clasped his hands behind his back. "The name is Eustace Strych. I'm an old…acquaintance of James and Cynthia. "

Jimmy added, "He'll be a student here in the fall. And he helped us find the grades."

"Did he?" Ms. Clarke asked. She turned to Cindy and said, "Because you told the auditors that he was the one who had them."

Cindy scrunched her face in thought. "Did I say that?"

"Yes, you did."

"Ah." Principal Clarke waited while Cindy rubbed her chin. Eventually the girl said, "He had them because he was framed, ma'am."

Eustace watched in abject confusion as Cindy continued to lie for him.

"The Grade Snatcher sent the grades to his laboratory. They must have figured that we wouldn't have a problem blaming Eustace, since we all haven't exactly gotten along before. But when we spoke to him, we realized he didn't do it."

Ms. Clarke considered this. "Then who was the actual Grade Snatcher?"

Jimmy chimed in, "We don't know. We can keep trying to figure it out, but I don't know if we ever will."

Principal Clarke studied Jimmy and Cindy's shifty expressions. "You both know that I respect you a great deal. That respect warrants honesty. So," she stared once more at Eustace, "you really don't know who is behind all of this?"

Cindy glanced at her nemesis's worried expression, then nodded to herself. She stepped forward and said, "I never want to lie to you, ma'am. But in order to get the grades back, I had to make a promise. I can't break it. So please, can you let this go?"

Ms. Clarke studied her protégé, then sighed. "Far be it from me to destroy your sense of honor. And considering that somehow, this school is better off than before the grades were stolen, I suppose I'll defer to your judgment."

While Cindy offered a grateful smile, Ms. Clarke turned to Eustace. "But whoever stole the grades should consider themselves very lucky. And they shall be watched quite closely in the fall."

While Eustace gulped, Louisa turned to Jimmy and Cindy. "I shall see you two in August. Until then, enjoy your summer. You've certainly earned a good one."

The principal walked out the door, then craned her neck back towards Jimmy. "Oh, and Mr. Neutron? About your probation. Considering you've clearly been rehabilitated and have saved this school yet again, you may start seventh grade with a clean slate."

Jimmy blinked in surprise and asked, "So I can go on dances and field trips with everyone?"

"Yes, as long as you never again throw Cindy out in the rain. If you do, I shall come for you."

"You, uh…you know about that?"

"I know everything, Mr. Neutron. Now have a good vacation."

Eustace cocked his head at Jimmy. "What was that about?"

Cindy explained, "Jimmy made some mistakes earlier this year. You're not the only one who's nearly destroyed this place."

Eustace skeptically asked, "You were a villain?"

"I was," Jimmy admitted. "But that's the thing about R.M.S. It gives you the chance to change."

Eustace considered that and faced Cindy. "You could have turned me in. You probably should have."

"I made you a promise. That means something to me."

Eustace glanced away and quietly said, "I broke my word to you twice."

"Yeah, you did," Cindy agreed. "But you kept it today. That's what counts."

Jimmy said, "So we'll keep our end of the bargain. We'll try to get the Interschool Outreach Program to incorporate your old school. And you can show up here an hour before first bell in August so we can give you an orientation. This place…it can be a lot."

"You should just come at nine in the morning on the day before," Cindy countered. "It's going to take a while." A smile crept across her face as she realized, "Actually, we should have all the incoming sixth graders join."

Jimmy quickly agreed. "That's a great idea."

Eustace awkwardly shifted his gaze between the two of them. "Well, I suppose I should thank you both. And apologize for nearly destroying this place. Also, for all the times I tried to actually murder you."

Jimmy extended a hand. "Another truce?"

Cindy offered her own palm. "And no more murder?"

Eustace shook both their hands and said, "Agreed to both counts. I'll be heading home, then."

Jimmy suggested, "You should meet with your friends, Eustace. Celebrate the last day of school, make plans for the summer, and let them know they'll still be seeing you after that."

Eustace weighed his words and said, "I think I shall do that. Until August," he offered Jimmy and Cindy a pleasant nod before exiting the computer lab.

Jimmy and Cindy watched him leave. Once he was gone, Cindy leaned her head on her boyfriend's shoulder. "I can't believe how close that was."

Jimmy wrapped an arm around her and agreed, "I'm going to try not to think about it. Should we get to the Spittoon?"

Cindy said, "You head over there. I have to take care of one thing first."

"What is it?"

"I just need a few minutes alone. I'll be there really soon."

Jimmy asked, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Cindy assured him. "Please."

Jimmy slowly nodded. "Okay. I'll let them know you won't be long. There will be a pomegranate spritzer waiting for you."

Cindy kissed his cheek and whispered, "Thanks. I'll see you in a bit." She reflexively smiled as he blushed, then watched him walk away. Once he was gone, her smile disappeared. She allowed herself a weary sigh, then trudged towards the stairwell.

Cindy popped open the roof's access hatch and climbed onto the rain-slicked cement. She rubbed her arms against a strong whip of wind, then glanced up at the clouds as the breeze faded. The dark grey puffs were retreating, allowing hints of a blue sky to peek through the cracks.

Cindy silently walked to the roof's edge and placed her arms atop the parapet. She stared down at the muddy lawn thirty feet below and watched a dozen or so stragglers lazily exit Retroville Middle School.

Cindy wrapped her fingers tight enough around the cement wall to make them blanch. She watched the students below her march down the street, past the nearby park, and then disappear from her view.

Cindy stared at the still emptiness ahead of her. Her eyes glistened with tears and she slammed her lids closed. She rested her forehead on the cement as a flood of memories washed over her, each one tossing her further and further back in time.

She and Jimmy held each other close while dancing on the woodshop floor. She nestled deeper into his shoulder and whispered, "I'm really glad we're here."

"GET AWAY FROM HIM!" Cindy screamed while violently shoving away any children standing between her and a trampled Nick.

Wind pulled at her rippling skin as thick rain abruptly pounded her head. She slammed into a puddle of mud and crumpled to the mucky ground. Shocked at how quickly her surroundings had changed, all she could do was stare at her clothes and think, Mom's gonna be mad.

In a dark hallway lined with three fresh corpses, Nick spoke the words that would forever bind them together. "You know I'll follow you anywhere, right?"

After the longest night of her life, she and Jimmy stood outside the Candy Bar. Despite him offering all that she'd always secretly yearned for, she couldn't meet his gaze. Not until he said, "I know I didn't do nearly as much as you last night. But what I managed? It was also for the person I love."

Seated inside Ms. Fowl's classroom, Jimmy said the words that proved they'd only ever pretended to hate each other. "But I want you to know, and I mean this sincerely…I'm glad you're my friend. Please don't let that change."

Cindy wiped the tears from her cheeks just as the hatch far behind her popped open. She craned her neck to find Nick pulling himself up. He offered a half-smile and said, "Hey."

"Hey," Cindy quietly answered.

He closed the door and asked, "Do you mind if I join? Or-"

"I don't mind," Cindy assured him. He crossed the roof and leaned his arms against the parapet next to her. He silently stared out at Retroville's modest skyline until Cindy asked, "Were you looking for some air?"

"I was looking for you. Figured this is where you'd be."

Cindy asked, "Really? You got it right on your first guess?"

"Nah. I checked where the river used to be first."

"I considered that spot. You do know me," Cindy said with an amused shake of her head. "Crazy how just a year ago you didn't."

Nick nodded in understanding. "It's wild how a random malt with Neutron changed everything." He gripped the wall tighter. "I should be happy we saved the school…and I am. But," he sighed and asked, "can I be honest about something?"

Boy and girl faced each other. "Always," Cindy firmly answered.

Nick said, "What we talked about right before you figured out it was Eustace, what Bennett said? He was right. There's no way all of us will go to the same college and live in the same place forever. One day we are going to split up. I know we can still put in the work and stay friends, but still…it sucks knowing that it's not always going to be like it is now."

"Yeah," Cindy agreed. "It really does." She turned away from Nick and stared back out at the sky.

He mirrored her posture and took a moment before asking, "So I guess that's all there is to it, huh? Life is crappy sometimes?"

"There's gotta be more to it than that." Cindy scrunched her face and racked her brain. "Why were we so happy when we passed the audit?"

"What do you mean? Because we saved R.M.S."

Cindy slowly voiced her thoughts. "Yeah, but we still knew that we would leave it when we got to ninth grade. We were happy because we got two more years. Two more years of adventures and absurdity and time together. Two more years of memories."

"Memories," Nick repeated the word and contemplated its weight. "Whenever I got sad this year, I would think about that malt, those weeks over winter break, and stopping the Hungbringer."

Cindy smiled at Nick. "That's the point, that's how we stop worrying about things changing. We take whatever time we all get together and create as many memories as possible. The more we make, the thicker the armor we have against whatever bad things life throws at us. That's why spending even one more afternoon together matters."

Nick slowly nodded, then offered a broad smile. "You're right. That's how we have to think of it."

Cindy wrapped him in a hug. "Thank you, Nick. For saving me over and over this year."

Nick squeezed her back and said, "Thanks for being someone worth saving."

The two friends pulled apart, stared into each other's eyes, and felt completely at peace with what they were to each other.

Nick extended an open palm, then swept it towards the hatch. "Now, m'lady, are you ready to make some more memories?"

"I am indeed," Cindy said while leading them towards the Spittoon.

Libby scrolled through her iPod, selected Mega Party Mix, and cranked the volume as high as it could go. While the opening chords of Blitzkrieg Bop blasted off the walls, she and Meagan locked eyes before manically headbanging.

Ike finished showing a curious Aashna how to make a virgin cold brew old fashioned, then placed two of the mocktails on the bar. Bennett grabbed the glasses and brought one to his partner, who was discussing her family's vacation plans with Courtney.

Sheen grinned while Jimmy grew increasingly frustrated at his inability to juggle.

Angie finished sweeping up the obliterated remnants of the fallen batwing into a dustpan held steady by Carl.

Ethan held a replacement in place, Butch twisted his screwdriver a final time, and Ethan released his hold. Both boys grinned while the door held.

Betty sipped her virgin martini at the bar and smiled as Cindy led Nick inside. "About time," Betty pleasantly told the blonde. "Where have you two been?"

"Existential crisis," Cindy explained, "But it's dealt with. We're ready to party."

While Nick sidled beside Courtney, Cindy joined her boyfriend. She watched as two of his three balls fell to the floor and asked, "Pomegranate spritzer?"

Jimmy angrily tossed his remaining ball across the bar and accidentally knocked Bennett's mocktail to the ground. The hall monitor closed his eyes in an attempt to temper his hatred while Jimmy grabbed a highball glass from a nearby tabletop.

"Here you go," Jimmy said while offering Cindy her drink. "Everything okay?"

"Right as rain," Cindy assured him just as the saloon doors swung open.

Ms. Wolf strolled inside while carrying a large cardboard box.

"Veronica," Ike warmly greeted the teacher. Ms. Wolf narrowed her eyes while he asked, "What are you doing here?"

The teacher set the package down. Sheen briefly inspected the overflowing paperbacks and manila folders before Ms. Wolf shoved him away. "I was just cleaning out my desk for the summer and figured I'd grab one last mocktail to go." She pointed at Ike and said, "Double chai blossom, Baritone. And go easy on the ice this time."

Ike handed Aashna a Delmonico glass and a bottle of club soda. "Fill it to here," he pointed halfway up the highball.

Cindy asked, "Why do you want it to go?"

Meagan said, "Yeah, stay and have a drink with us. We never would have saved the school with you."

Ms. Wolf cocked her head. "The heck are you talking about? That quicksand stalled the auditors for all of three seconds."

Cindy countered, "We got the grades back with about a half second to spare."

Ms. Wolf arched an eyebrow. "Really?"

Bennett nodded and said, "It was disconcertingly close."

"Huh," Ms. Wolf mumbled. "Well, I guess I don't have any plans. And you weirdos should have a chaperone." She took a seat at the table and rubbed her hands together while Aashna brought over her drink.

Ms. Wolf raised her glass. "Well, here's to two more years of having you knuckleheads around."

Everyone raised their glasses and sipped their drinks. Yen said, "You know, Bennett's not going to be around as much next year. That means we have a chance to get really crazy."

"Do not destroy this place," Bennett warned his partner. "And how could it get any more insane around here?"

Nick grinned while facing Ms. Wolf. "You could show us." He pointed his drink at her box. "Do you have your crystal ball in there?"

"It's called an orbuculum. And yes, I have it."

Courtney eagerly stepped towards the table. "Oohh, I want to see the future!"

Jimmy argued, "The logic behind scrying is absurd."

"It works," Cindy countered. "I've seen it."

Jimmy didn't have the chance to argue. Cindy simply faced Ms. Wolf and asked, "Would you give all of us a reading? Please?"

Nick said, "We are all out of mutton, though."

Meagan chimed in, "But we've got plenty of drinks."

"Sold," Ms. Wolf said while rising from her seat and plucking a pristine crystal ball from her box. "But we have to do this right. Everybody, shove these two tables together and sit in a circle."

Everyone did as they were told. Cindy cast Jimmy a warning glance but allowed him one heavy sigh; he gratefully kept the remainder of his skepticism to himself. The group pulled every available stool around the dual tables while Ms. Wolf dimmed the lights.

While everyone took their seats, Ms. Wolf ordered, "Now all of you grab hands and bow your heads."

After the group followed her instructions, Ms. Wolf sucked in a deep breath. She waved her hands over the orbuculum and said, "You all have endured many struggles this year. You have fought countless foes, each other, and even yourselves. But your greatest nemesis was time itself. You strive to forestall the inevitable, to keep the bonds you have formed from fraying."

The children squeezed each others' hands tighter.

Ms. Wolf peered deeper into the void and saw a wisp of smoke. It multiplied into over a dozen thin strands which spiraled through the vast emptiness and wrapped around each other into a single cord. "I see that the year ahead is a good one. It shall be filled with the laughter and absurdity you have rightly earned."

Betty, Jimmy, Libby, Sheen, Angie, Cindy, Nick, and Eustace stood in a circle inside of Ms. Peck's classroom. At the center of the ring lay a deeply obtunded Carl on a stretcher.

Jimmy and Angie each grabbed one of Carl's hands while Betty explained, "Nurse Holt is at a complete loss. We have to send him to an actual hospital."

Eustace said, "That would not be wise."

Cindy asked, "Did you and the Strychnauts figure out what's wrong with him?"

Eustace placed a laptop atop Carl's chest and motioned at the data scrolling across the screen. "We did. Do you remember how this school hosted the Retroville Hacking Competition last weekend?"

"No," Sheen quickly answered.

Libby said, "I was the emcee, Sheen. You set up all my equipment for me. It took you eight hours."

"It doesn't ring a bell."

"Focus, guys," Cindy urged them. "What does that competition have to do with Carl being in a coma?"

Betty clarified, "Actually, his Glasgow Coma Score is nine, so he's technically conscious."

Eustace cleared his throat and drew the group's focus. "The second-place virus had points deducted because it replicated out of control inside of our servers. Neutron and I thought we had scrubbed the code, but apparently it remained isolated in a single electrical circuit associated with the nurse's office."

Jimmy cocked his head in confusion. "So it caused some equipment to malfunction and hurt Carl?"

"Far worse," Eustace explained. "It somehow mutated into an airborne infection, infiltrated the oxygen concentrator, and entered Carl's lungs when he was treated for an asthma attack."

Libby asked, "Wait, so Carl is infected with a computer virus?"

"Indeed," Eustace answered. "At this very moment his nervous system is being rewired into an approximation of nonorganic relays. If we don't fix this, by the day's end he will be nothing more than a desktop."

"Beep boop," Carl monotonously intoned. "Mi-mi-microchips, microchips, I need microchips."

Nick raised his hand. "Do I really need to say it? Questions!"

Eustace ignored him. "If you aim to save Carl, there is only one option." Eustace held up a pile of ethernet cables glued to intravenous catheters. "You all have to go inside the internet."

Ms. Wolf watched the smoke loosen and two thin strands fell away. She shook her head in dismay and softly said, "But time marches on. You all will grow, and with it comes change."

Inside of Courtney's bedroom, she and Nick sat on the floor. They braced their backs beneath her window and stared off into space, not believing the words coming out of their mouths.

"So…that's it," Courtney whispered. "It's over."

Nick's stomach churned and his eyes burned. "Yeah." He croaked, "It's done."

"We could keep trying," Courtney moaned.

"We could," Nick agreed.

Courtney sniffled and said, "But we shouldn't, should we?"

"No," Nick answered. "We're just…not in sync anymore."

Courtney said, "We're fighting so much. I'm constantly pissed off at you. I want it to stop before I start to hate you." Nick glanced into Courtney's broken eyes as she said, "I never want that, because you're still the best person I know."

Nick managed a miserable smile. "And I still like you a heck of a lot, Courtney Tyler."

Courtney lowered her head and let it hover just over Nick's shoulder. "Can I do this? One last time?"

Nick said, "How about this. We sit here for a while, spend a few days apart, then come back as friends. And if you ever need a headrest? I'll be there."

Courtney lay her head down and said, "I'd like that."

Ms. Wolf stared at Nick and Courtney's entwined hands, then into her crystal ball. The newly split strands inched forwards, then rejoined the main rope. Ms. Wolf breathed easier as the smoke raced deeper into the abyss.

"The trials you shall brave will give you scars, but they shall not break you."

Inside of the freshly decorated room on the freshman dormitory's third floor, sixteen friends surveyed Yen's new home. After a long moment, Yen said, "I guess this is it, guys."

Libby suggested, "Maybe I should check your iPod. I need to make sure you have all the music you'll need to study and party. You have to have both, Yen."

Courtney rubbed the back of her neck. "I could make sure your internet is fast enough."

Nick eagerly nodded and pointed at a shelf hanging over Yen's bed, filled with mystery novels and criminal justice textbooks. "That thing doesn't look stable. Butch and I can tighten the screws."

Aashna shoved a half-eaten ice cream cone into her mouth and painfully swallowed. "We should tour the campus again."

Jimmy glanced at his watch and said, "I hate to be that guy-"

"Yet you always are," Bennett growled.

Jimmy withered under Bennett's murderous glare. Cindy grabbed her boyfriend's hand, glanced at his watch, and said, "He's right, Bennett. We have to start heading back."

Yen faced everyone and said, "Thank you all so much for coming. This trip, having you all here…it's meant everything to me."

Carl offered, "Group hug?"

"Hell yes," Yen agreed. The group piled in and squeezed each other with heartbreaking force.

Once the embrace ended, Cindy studied Bennett's solemn face. She said, "Come on, guys. Let's give these two a minute."

Everyone filed outside, with Jimmy being the last to leave. He said, "Bennett?" The tall redhead narrowed his eyes until Jimmy offered, "Take all the time you need."

Bennett quietly said, "Thanks, Jimmy."

After Neutron left, Bennett stared solemnly at Yen. He opened his mouth, then realized he had no idea what to say.

Yen grabbed his hand and leaned her forehead against his. "Saying that I'm going to miss you doesn't begin to cover it."

Bennett whispered, "You were the best best friend anyone could ask for. You were everything I needed."

"I love you too, Ben."

Yen kissed his cheek, ran a hand along his face, and then planted a peck on his lips. "Remember what we promised. A two hour phone call every weekend, right?"

Bennett nodded. "I'll borrow Jimmy's hover car and come see you once a semester."

Yen forced a smile. "And I'll come back home every vacation. So just keep those nuts out there alive for me, okay? They're going to be freshmen in a few days. They'll need your help."

Bennett nodded, but Yen added, "I'm serious, Bennett. We did good looking out for them these past three years. Finish the job for me."

"I will," he assured her. "I promise."

The two pulled their heads apart. Yen told him, "This isn't goodbye. So just head home, call me when you get there, and we'll talk real soon. Okay?"

"Okay," he agreed. He headed for the door, paused at the threshold, and cast her one last glance. "See you soon, partner."

The two shared a smile, then Bennett disappeared. Yen stood in silence and looked around the empty dorm room.

Tears brimmed in her eyes until a short curly-haired blonde walked inside. "Hey," the girl said with a wave. "I'm Melinda…Mel for short. You're Yen, right?"

"Yeah," Yen sniffled and strode forward to shake the girl's hand. "Good to finally meet you. Have you ever had a roommate before?"

"Nope," Mel answered with a smile. "But figure it can't be too hard as long as neither of us are assholes. I'm not, and you don't look like one."

"Keen eye," Yen answered.

Mel said, "There was only one other moving van outside, and also some sort of space bus with like twenty people in it."

"Yeah," Yen managed a quick laugh. "They're with me. We all kind of did a road trip to get here. We've spent a few days camping along the way."

"That's awesome." Mel asked with a twinge of envy, "You really have that many friends?"

"No," Yen grinned and shook her head. "I just have a big family."

Ms. Wolf watched the advancing coil of smoke sprout a dozen new branches. They marched across the infinite void, twisting into countless directions and splitting ever further. Yet through it all, they remained connected at the core. "You all shall never forget what you mean to each other. When one of you needs it, you all will be there."

Lit only by the full moon and stars high above, Jimmy Neutron clasped his girlfriend's hand. He hid his tremors by clenching her tight. The two strolled away from the graduate student housing complex and towards the nearby woods.

"Neutron," Cindy warned, "if you don't tell me what is going on I am going to slap you. Vociferously."

Jimmy whistled. "My last name and a threat of physical violence. It's been a while since I've gotten that combo."

"Well it's been a while since I've been so pissed off," Cindy countered. "I don't have time for a nighttime hike where I'm beginning to suspect that I'll be murdered. I have to finish this paper by tomorrow."

"No, you don't," Jimmy assured her.

"I'm pretty sure I know my schedule better than you."

"I would have thought so," Jimmy ribbed her. "But I spoke with Dr. Watson. He owed me a favor for reviewing his grant proposal, so he agreed to extend your deadline by three days."

The sound of Cindy's footsteps stopped as Jimmy entered the thicket. Jimmy turned around to find her fuming. "Who do you think you are? You don't get to interfere with my work like that."

Jimmy sucked in a calming breath. "Cynthia, there is something extremely important waiting for us just fifty yards away. I swear you are going to love it, and I really need your full attention. That's why I moved your deadline."

Cindy's fury wavered. "You got me a surprise?"

Jimmy nodded.

"How expensive is it? I'm in the mood for a treasure trove of gold, jewels, and fragrant oils."

"Yep, I got them all," Jimmy assured her. "What else could be waiting in the woods?"

Jimmy and Cindy walked down a well-worn path. They soon approached a fire pit surrounded by three long logs. Jimmy angled his watch and sparked the timber.

Cindy watched a bevy of sparks burst to life and flitter through the air like fireflies. She glanced around and said, "I'm beginning to doubt there's treasure."

"I did exaggerate," Jimmy admitted. "You'll have to settle for one piece of jewelry."

Cindy cocked her head. "Seriously, what is this?"

"We've been together twelve years, Cindy. Half of our lives. You told me once that you're a sucker for artistic symmetry. This seems like the perfect time to take another leap of faith."

Cindy's face fell. "Jimmy, we've talked about this."

"I know. You don't want to get married until we graduate. Though we always could get engaged and wait to do the planning." His face dramatically fell. "But you did also say that you wanted the people you love the most here for the big moment."

"Right," Cindy said. "So this clearly…" her voice trailed off as the brush to her left rustled.

"Isn't a good time?" Nick asked while approaching the fire.

Cindy's jaw dropped. "Nick? What are you doing here?"

Betty shoved a few branches aside and joined them. "I think you're smart enough to put it together."

Cindy's left eye twitched. "You're on your surgery rotation. How the heck did you-"

"Okay!" Aashna shouted while she and Ethan burst out of a bed of pine needles. "Can we all freaking come out?"

"I'm in poison ivy," a faraway Carl moaned.

"I'm in the sky!" Sheen triumphantly shouted while using his legs to swing upside down on a high-above branch.

Bennett, Yen, Ike, Butch, and Courtney strolled out and took a seat on the logs. Libby emerged last, hugged her sister, and squeezed Jimmy's hand.

"You're crushing this," she assured him.

Cindy watched Libby join her friends, then stared at the group in complete amazement. "You came from all over the country for me?"

One final voice answered her while a pair of Versace pumps glided across the forest floor. "Yes, we did," Louisa Clarke said.

Cindy fell still as a stone her mentor hugged her. She slowly turned to Jimmy, gulped, and shakily asked, "One piece of jewelry, huh?"

Jimmy nodded and pulled a velvet box from his pocket. "Though it's not entirely new."

He fell to one knee and offered a golden band sporting a familiar pearl. "Cynthia Aurora Vortex, will you do me the eternal honor of-"

"Yes!" Cindy screamed while pouncing on her fiancé and nearly splitting his lip with a violent kiss. "Always and forever, yes."

Ms. Wolf smiled at the children all around her. She clasped the hands of Ike on her left and Cindy on her right. Everyone opened their eyes and met her gentle gaze.

"The ties that bind you may fray, but they shall never break. For no matter what sorrow, heartbreak, or loss that you will face? There shall always be more love."