Chapter CXIX
Good Night…
I struggle out of the darkness, grumbling, my eyebrows furrowed. I'm all dizzy; I want to throw up. I feel weird, like I'm spinning in all directions while falling from the sky. I put a hand to my head… I… Something is wrong with my right hand. I half-open my eyes, and my vision takes forever to stabilize… Little by little, I recognize my attentive student who greets me with a beaming face.
As I scan the surroundings, I realize that I'm at home, in my bed. I furrow my eyebrows even more, and a great confusion takes hold of me. How did I get here...? The last thing I remember is that I was at the Third Training Ground, catching my breath after a rather exhausting final fight with Naruto…
I brandish my hand in front of my eyes. I have trouble moving it, especially my wrist; at that, it trembles, seized by numerous spasms… It has no more strength. I can move my fingers … but my thumb is greatly limited. I can't close my fist either. Is my hand or my wrist cracked, or even broken? No. That's not it. I have no pain at all; even if I force with difficulty movements that my hand stubbornly refuses me, no suffering… What does that mean?
Mechanically, I try to get up … but my head is spinning; black stars dance before my eyes. Naruto places a hand on my back to lay me down. The dark spots immediately dissipate. I'm weakened; if I get up, I will lose consciousness. What's going on…? Why do I feel so bad…?
"Naruto… Are you the one who brought me back to the den…?"
The blond nods in his own way with a sincere smile. I suppose I overestimated myself. I must have exceeded my limits before collapsing from fatigue … and Naruto brought me back here, to safety.
That can only be it…
But I'm very uncertain…
A smell of fresh blood occupies my right nostril, implying that I had a nosebleed not long ago. It must have been caused by one of the fights with my student… Maa, I hope so. Otherwise, I have no idea how or why; I never get nosebleeds for no reason. Another strange smell catches my attention. Sniffing myself, I notice that my shirt is clean. "Why doesn't my shirt reek of sweat…?"
Then, another bloody scent reaches my nose, and this scent comes from Naruto. Looking at where this smell is coming from, I see burgundy stains on his sleeve. I grab his arm to observe it more closely. I lift his sleeve; no sign of injury that could justify the blood soaking the fabric. Concerned, I plunge my eyes into his. The teenager seems horribly tense all of a sudden. His impassive face prevents me to know what he feels, or to guess what he's thinking about…
"Were you hurt, Naruto?" I ask him despite his silence. "Should I be worried?"
Naruto is livid and his heart is pounding…
After a breath, he shakes his head with a small smile, "telling" me that I don't have to worry.
"I see," I whisper, settling back down so I'm comfortable. Even if I can't sleep, I plan on resting until the dizziness stops…
I widen my eyes, and my heart comes to a sudden stop.
I turn my head abruptly to stare at Naruto who jumps; at that, I no longer bat my eyelashes. Naruto shook his head. Naruto has just shaken his head to answer my question. He finally communicated normally despite his faded voice; like a human and not a wild beast. An immense joy engulfs me in its infinite sea, and I sketch a happy smile. I timidly approach my hand to his face, put it on his cheek. He places his own on mine and shows a similar smile.
"Naruto…"
You are so close, Naruto. You are so close to me. I'm convinced that you will come back to me before this winter.
'You can come out, Naruto. I will be there for you. I will help you overcome the demons that inhabit you, Naruto. Come back to me.'
- XxX -
I plan to go to bed in the early hours of the morning and not at dawn; an unspoken desire to enjoy the rays of the sun that I greatly miss. I read on the balcony while Naruto enjoys the moment, at my side. Gai, my friend and rival, comes to chat a little, about everything and nothing, before starting his morning training. He begins to get impatient; he's dying to resume his rivalry activities with me. Quickly, I'm at the centre of our conversation, especially this mark on my neck now visible to the eyes of the world.
He ends up telling me that a pestilential odour stinks up his apartment and makes him nauseous; he tries by all possible means to get rid of it, but nothing works. It's not good. My smell, including that of my student, spreads like a disease throughout the block via the ventilation systems… I feign ignorance, shrug my shoulders. I hope it stops spreading… If they find out that I'm the culprit, I'll be forced to move … in addition to taking a hell of a penalty…
During our discussion, Naruto doesn't react more than that, although he sticks to me in an uncomfortable way. Inside, I feed him my chakra in exchange for his sleeping poison. Then, I crawl under the sheets to fall asleep peacefully in his arms. Between the path of consciousness and unconsciousness, I also hug him by surrounding his hips with my arms. My head against his chest, I listen to the soft beating of his heart…
Unfortunately, knocking on the door pulls me out of my imminent stroll on the enchanted rivers. I ignore them … and the noises start again with more ardour. I'm too comfortable; I refuse to leave my bunk; I want to sleep… Naruto is irritated in turn that someone comes to disturb us.
I let out a sigh and ask Naruto to wait for me. All staggering, I get up with difficulty. Once the blond removes his tail from my leg, I go to the entrance … leaning against the walls and furniture so as not to collapse to the ground. I almost hit the walls in the face and all confused, I find myself in the bathroom instead…
Yawning and nodding endlessly, I finally open the door to my apartment. My brain is working in slow motion—as a result, it takes me a while to recognize Sakura. "Sa… Sakura…? What are you doing here…?" I stammer, holding myself against the quarter of the door so as not to join the parquet floor so … inviting and soft…
"Kakashi-sensei, are you alright?" The young girl worriedly examines me from head to toe.
"Yes, yes… I was about to fall asleep…"
Sakura takes on a stern, perplexed. "Um… Do you know you're expected at the Intelligence Division?"
"What...?"
"They sent me to get you. We've been waiting for you for almost two hours."
I frown. "What do you mean…? No one told me anything like that…"
"Shikamaru told you, and you confirmed your presence," she explains to me as her face darkens.
"Shikamaru…? When…?"
"Kakashi-sensei, he came to see you yesterday. Don't tell me you forgot?"
What is she telling me? Shikamaru came to see me? Yet, if I think back to recent events, although it's difficult due to my fatal exhaustion, I don't have the slightest fragment of having spoken with him, much less of having seen him…
Did I have a memory gap?
"It must have completely slipped my mind, I suppose," I whisper between two yawns, painfully holding myself back from lying down on the floor, on which I want to curl up into a ball. "I guess I can't put this off until another day, huh...?"
I show her my freshly bitten arm. She easily understands what that means.
"No choice, it seems… Maa, wait for me here … so I can at least get dressed…" As I turn around, I hit the edge of the wall face first, tearing a useless complaint from me.
I honestly wonder if I'll be able to make it there in one piece with that much venom in my blood…
- XxX -
I have almost no memory of the journey. All I know is that I walked agonizingly slowly, zigzagging from right to left like a zombie; at that, Sakura forbade me on numerous occasions to lie down as soon as I saw a bench so … comfortable, which invited me with its irresistible siren song. At one point, I think Naruto helped me get to I don't know where, but I'm not really sure…
His venom is killing me slowly. The more I fight against it, the sicker I become, and I start to have acid reflux. My body is horribly numb; all coordination is impossible. My brain stopped working a long time ago, and I'm obsessed with the idea of sleeping. I'm so desperate… I'd be ready to fall asleep in a pile of trash or in a bed of sharp rocks. The only thing keeping me awake is the biting wind that assails my exposed neck, propelling unpleasant electric currents into all my nerves.
I want to sleep; I want to sink…
My life has become suffering…
I want to be freed from my ordeal…
"Did you understand me, Kakashi-sensei?"
I jump when I hear Sakura's voice. "What…?" I mumble, both eyes in the same eye socket.
With difficulty, I see her put a hand on her face, exasperated. Blinking my eyelids, I analyze the place despite my blurred vision. I'm in a soundproof room. There are many microphones, a window… It's a recording studio. There's another young woman with us that I don't know. Of course, there's Naruto.
"Where am I...?" I ask, confused.
Sakura lets out a long, undisguised complaint. "I've explained this to you twice, Kakashi-sensei! Oh dear… This venom is problematic and makes you the biggest idiot in the universe…"
My dull eye automatically focuses on the ground. Imaginary arms invite me to wrap myself in them. Without hesitation, I answer the call. "…Cute, sweet little ground, so soft, so…"
I'm roughly grabbed by the sleeve of my shirt, forced to remain standing.
"Stop doing that!" she scolds me in a stern voice. "Naruto, do something!"
Helpless, Naruto stretches his arms halfway up his body, palms open. In his own way, he asks his comrade what he can do. The feral boy knows the terrible effects of his sleeping poison. I'm surprised he didn't get mad at Sakura when she pulled me like that… Given my deplorable state between consciousness and unconsciousness, I'm missing bits, and not just a little…
Sakura sighs. "Kakashi-sensei, I know it's not your fault, but make an effort. Please…"
"…I'm trying," I lament, contemplating the void before me.
"Okay, listen to me carefully this time, Kakashi-sensei."
I nod miserably.
"We want to record Naruto's scream," she explains to me in a paradox of patience and impatience. "All Naruto has to do is to do his spectral scream into this microphone. It will allow us to record the frequency and decibels of his scream. With this data, we can create ways to counter it. When that's done, you can go home and sleep…"
I take a moment to assimilate the excess information. I finally realize the reason for our coming here. "Ah… We're finally looking into it… Good… Good thing…"
"Did you understand me?"
"Scream, microphone, recording, then sleep," I summarize roughly, brandishing my left thumb … since the right one doesn't move very well.
"Explain it to him now," she continues, pointing at Naruto.
"Yes, yes…"
Without warning, I'm collapsing… I'm caught by Naruto who then helps me stand on my two feet. I let out a loud lament, the longest of my entire life.
Release me from my torture!
I can't take it anymore…
"He'll have to get out of the room before he screams," the stranger tells Sakura. "Otherwise, he'll suffer permanent hearing loss."
"...What do you mean...?" I ask with difficulty.
"Lord Hokage discovered that this scream causes significant after-effects. The more you're exposed, the deafer you become," she explains to me darkly.
"Ah… That's problematic," I say, a shiver of dread sliding down my spine.
This hellish howl is a formidable weapon… In addition to paralyzing its victim and stunning them by causing a lot of tinnitus, it causes devastating damage in the long-term… It's a good thing Naruto doesn't do it at all hours of the day and night. Otherwise, the whole village would be deaf…
"Maa… I'm immune to it… Don't worry about me."
She's about to add something, but Sakura intervenes before she can speak. "Kakashi-sensei is telling the truth," she assures her. "We've already confirmed that."
"Very well. Well! Let's hurry before Mr. Hatake faints…"
My student nods and turns his attention back to me. "Don't faint right away, Kakashi-sensei. It shouldn't be long."
Exhausted, I offer a limp thumbs up in response.
They analyze me for a brief moment, to make sure I'm still standing. Then, they leave the room, closing the door behind them. This room muffles all noise, and it makes me a little uncomfortable … as it does for Naruto. He's anxious, although he lets out melodies of some sort to study this phenomenon that he considers strange.
Wearily, I look beyond the glass screen. The two young women and two other people I don't know put on protective headphones for their ears. I'm given the green light when Sakura clearly brandishes a thumbs up.
I sigh. "Come on, Naruto…"
Naruto follows me to the centre of the room. The microphone overwhelms the curiosity of his eyes shining like sapphires. He sniffs it, pouting suspiciously.
"Naruto… You know that powerful scream? The one you use to destabilize your enemies? That dangerous scream that makes people deaf? I would like you to do it in front of this microphone… The most powerful one you can do…"
I fight fiercely against this urge to close my eyelid forever, and I let out a yawn that never ends. I have trouble translating the teenager's body language. Apparently, he doesn't want to do it, since he avoids all eye contact with me, his hands behind his back.
"…You have to do it… It's important, Naruto…" I sigh again. My legs are shaking and threaten to collapse at any moment. Exhausted, I put both hands on his shoulder, on which I rest my head … my poor head so heavy that it weighs tons. I close my eyes.
I could fall asleep like that…
"…Come on… I want to sleep, Naruto," I implore in a whisper. "As long as you don't scream… We can't go back… Stop prolonging my torture and do it… I can't take it anymore … and I want to cry…
A silence settles in.
I'm about to fall asleep when Naruto gently pushes me away. He grabs my face with both hands. I try to keep my eye open … which closes a little more after each beat. I see everything blurry, and I don't think anymore…
My soul has just left my body to fly away I don't know where…
Naruto releases me. I use my last miserable strength to hold on and I stuff my hands in my pockets. I contemplate the nothingness impatient to welcome me into its universe. I don't react in response to his cry, which continues for an infinite time. I slowly turn my head when I hear an unusual noise. The window is cracking all over its surface. It seems about to shatter and if that happens, I won't have the strength to raise my arms to protect myself… Furthermore, I notice that the people in the other room have put their hands on their protective headphones…
I look forward again … and I can't stop nodding my head. Luckily, the glass hasn't exploded and Naruto finally stops screaming. I hear him gasping softly.
I gradually fade away and I no longer have the slightest notion of time…
"Kakashi-sensei, we're done. You can go home," says a voice that I don't recognize.
As soon as someone touches my shoulder, I lose my balance. I fall like a brick, and I faint on the spot.