Chapter 9: A Test of Love!
Back with Lincoln and the others, they were sitting at the bar's counter with Sinbad as with the rest of the Exiles (sans Dan of course) as Globgor began to tell a joke.
"And then I said to the guy, that's no witch, that's my wife!" Globgor said as he began to bust out laughing, with his wife, Lincoln, Chris, the Murphy family were laughing with him.
As Lincoln wiped away a tear from his eye, he saw the rest of his fire forged comrades continuing to laugh at the monster king's joke. Suddenly, he felt a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach.
A rather... nostalgic feeling.
A nostalgic and sad feeling.
As Lincoln continued to look on at his exiled friends, his mind began to flashback to moments like this one that he had with his family back on Earth.
Until they did this to him!
As soon as that thought came into his mind, he closed his eyes tightly as streams of tears began to run down his face.
Sindbad looked over and saw Lincoln's waterworks.
"Yo, you okay Lincoln." The comedian said in concern.
This got the other Exiles attention as they looked over at the eleven year old as well.
"Whoa, you feeling okay man." Chris said, also concerned for the boy.
"Ye-Yeah. I'm fine." Lincoln confirmed as he wiped away some of his tears off his face. "Sorry, it's just that sitting here with most of you guys just gave a feeling of nostalgia."
Milo thought what his little friend said before responding. "Nostalgia?"
"Like because we remind you of your family back on Earth?" Sara asked.
"Well it's not just you guys in particular." The boy said as he wave his arm from left to right. "I know it's silly but I think that I've considered the rest of Zing's prisoners as my family, even the Gems surprisingly. Not by blood obviously, but by something else. Something... I don't know... something different." His face then stared at the ground in sadness as a tear fell to the floor. "I just wish my actual family back on Earth considered as a part of theirs's."
Sinbad and the others at the counter looked at the young boy with concern as Globgor got up, walked over to Lincoln and place a hand on his shoulder before kneeling down to his level.
Looking up at him, the monster spoke.
"Well, I think it's really sweet that you consider us your surrogate family, Lincoln." Glogor said, smiling.
"T-Thanks Globgor." Lincoln said, a small smile present on his face.
"Wait, is that how you got here?" Eclipsa asked, remembering the last thing that the Loud boy had said. "Cause you're family didn't consider you a part of it?"
"Well, you can say that Eclipsa, but there's a lot more to it than that." Lincoln said, turning away briefly.
"D-Do you want to talk about it?" Martin asked.
Lincoln tensed up briefly but took a few deep breaths to come himself down. "I do... but I'm trying to look for the right time."
"When will that be?" Bridgette said, concerned.
"Hopefully when we're not on this ship anymore." Lincoln looking around. "It feels like danger is lurking around every corner here."
"Speaking of danger, where's Dan and that Ruby. They should be back by now." Chris asked.
As on cue, Dan and Leggy ran into the bar in urgent manner!
"GUYS!" Dan shouted.
"LINCOLN!" Leggy shouted.
Dan and Leggy briefly scanned the bar and found the others alongside the Loud boy drinking at the counter, running over to them.
Upon reaching then the Ruby immediately wrapped her arms around Lincoln, nearly squeezing the life out of him as tears of joy sprinkled down her face.
"You're okay Lincoln! Oh thank the stars that Zing didn't get you!" She said in a sniffle.
"Ru... by... can't BREATHE!" Lincoln wheezed out as Dan pulled the ruby off of him.
"Oh right. Sorry." She apologized.
"It's fine, now what is going on?!" Lincoln demanded as Dan let out a sigh.
"It's a looooong story, pal." Dan said as he sat down on a stool next to Chris and Sinbad. "It all started when followed that guard..."
From there, Dan and Leggy explained to the Exiles and Sinbad everything that happened, that Zing and Foster indeed had Roger in the throne room, the Emperor's plan of surveiling the exiles, especially Lincoln and Jasper and that the guards were now guarding the escape pods.
Needless to say, they were shocked. Especially, Lincoln himself.
"Wait, so the Emperor thinks I'm a threat?!" Lincoln asked before he realized something else. "Oh right I almost forgot, he's worried about Jasper doing something too, but why me?"
He and the others began to think about what happened between the abduction of Lincoln and his new friends all the way up to now that the Emperor had perceived the Exiles as a threat to him and his empire.
"Now they're guarding the escape pods too?" Sara pointed out. "Great, so obviously sneaking away to the escape pods is going to be a challenge."
"Dammit!" Dan yelled out in anger as he slammed his fists down onto the counter before letting out a sigh of frustration. "There has to be another way off this ship."
"There is another way." A new voice called out, making all at the counter looked over to the left as they saw a pinkish, largely one eyed, winged creature landed at Globgor and Eclipsa's spot before it spoke again. "Before I reveal anything to you guys, let me ask you fellas something. Do you love anyone besides yourselves?"
Sinbad knew who this was and was not in the mood for his nonsense at the moment.
"Leave us alone, Phil!" Sinbad demanded.
"Of course, I love my family and friends on Earth." Milo said, hugging his family to emphasize this notion.
"And I love my friends back on Earth and even some of the friends I'm making here." Lincoln confirmed, smiling at the ones he calls friends who smiled back at him a little.
"And I love my wife and my friend Dan here, even though he denies it for the most part." Chris said, pulling Dan into a side hug... much to his best friend's annoyance.
"And I have some friends on Mewni as well as I love my family with everything that I have." Globgor said, holding his wife close to him.
"Phil, get lost! What did I say about boundaries man?" Sinbad said, getting irritated at the creature's insistence.
"But they love someone dude! They should exercise that right and take the test!" Phil said, getting excited.
"I told you man, STEP OFF!" Sinbad yelled, smacking Philp across the face, sending him flying backward and knocking his eye contact out, which was big.
"My contact!" Phil yelled back as he was caught by Globgor.
"You alright, Phil." Globgor asked in concern.
"Yeah, I'm fine." Philp said, rubbing his large eye. "Have you seen my contact?"
"This?" Eclipsa asked, holding up a large glass circle.
"Yes! That's it, thank you!" Phil said in joy as he very carefully put his contact back in his eye.
"What's your problem, Sinbad?!' Eclipsa asked in anger at the Earth celebrity's violent act.
"Yeah, and what's this test you didn't want us to know about?!" Her husband asked.
"Yo don't worry about it dudes, just forget it." Sinbad responded. looking away.
"Sindbad..." Chris said.
Sinbad got up from his stool and pacing back and forth for a bit, debating on whether or not to tell the new arrivals about this mysterious test.
Knowing that he had no choice at this point, the celebrity let out a sigh of annoyance before turning to the others.
"Okay look, there's two ways that you guys can escape from here, fight your way out or the test of love." He explained. "If you guys can prove that when Zing abducted you, they separated you from those you care about. They'll take you back to Earth or wherever it is you came from."
"Really?!" The all said in unison.
"Yeah, but there's a problem. We all thought that we loved anyone other than ourselves too, and when you fail the Emperor's test they do this!" Sinbad said as he unbuckled his belt and let his pants fall to the floor, shocking everyone at the table.
"Oh my god!" Bridgette said, covering her eyes.
"Where's your... you know." Dan said, covering his eyes.
"Yep, they make you smooth." Sinbad said, pulling his pants back up and buckling his belt. "And I'm not alone, we all lost." He confirmed, waving his arm to emphasize the other prisoners failed the Emperor's test as well.
"That's horrible!" Globgor said in shock.
The room fell silent for a minute as the group began to ponder of whether or not risk their gender definers just of the slim chance that they might get back home before Lincoln spoke up.
"Well... even we might lose our "down there area"... We can't let that stop us." Lincoln said as he jumped onto the counter as he turned to face the others in the bar. "I don't know about the rest of you, but this test of love is another way to get back home, then I'll do it. Alone if I have to."
"You sure Lincoln?" Sinbad asked, concern for the boy.
"Yeah, I'm going to take the test!" Lincoln announced to the entire room.
Inspired by Lincoln's enthusiasm, the rest of the Exiles stood up.
"I'm taking the test too." Chris confirmed, standing up from his stool.
"If it's the only off getting of this ship, might as well." Dan said, standing up from his stool.
"We're in too, Lincoln." Globgor said as he and Eclipsa stood up from their stools.
"Us too." Milo said as he and the rest of his family stood up from their stools as well.
"So am I." Leggy said, standing next to Lincoln as he held his hand.
"So will we." Topaz said, splitting up into the two Topazes and walking over to the group.
Inspired, most of the group in the room cheered for them.
Aquamarine however, began to laugh as she flew over to them and got directly in front of Lincoln's face.
"You're going to risk your part of your physical form just to get back to that worthless planet that you call home." Aquamarine taunted. "If the odds are that high, you're going to need a massive of lu-Ack!"
Before Aquamarine could finish her taunt, to the shock and surprise of everyone, Lincoln grabbed the little jerk by her uniform's collar and slammed into his spot on the counter and onto the floor, breaking part of the counter as well as breaking some of the bottles behind and under it, covering the two of them. Not letting go and bringing her face to his, Aquamarine briefly saw the young boy as someone else...
Someone that although she also respected her, she also feared her at the same time.
For Lincoln, he briefly saw Aquamarine as one of his sisters, for which he hated with a passion for getting him into this mess to begin with.
Too scared to escape his grasp at the moment despite having the strength to, the little gem felt a sense of fear enter her system as Lincoln whispered in an uncharacteristically cold and downright dangerously quiet tone as he squinted his eyes in his anger.
"Don't you even think about using that word in any way, shape or form around me again, Aquamarine... Ever!"
Snapping out of it, Lincoln went back to his cheerful self as he let Aquamarine go. "Okay, let's go everyone! Earth, here we come!" He said as he ran out of the bar in excitement and determination.
"Home..." Aquamarine said, weakly.
"HOMEWORLD, LET'S GO! YEAH!" Leggy said, shaking the still traumatized gem in excitement before she too ran out of the bar.
As Globgor and the others walked out of the bar, they began to talk to each other.
"Did anyone else just see that?" The monster king said.
"Lincoln's brief moment of anger? We all saw that Globgor." Dan said.
"Not just that, Dan. I meant what triggered it." Globgor responded.
Realizing what the monster was getting at made Milo remember something.
"Actually, now that you mentioned it Globgor, when I first met Lincoln, he asked me if bad luck was real, and I said yes, it seem that whatever his Earth family did to him and luck equaled to how he ended up up on that rocket. Looking back on it, he seemed pretty tense about it." Milo explained.
"Well, we'll never know unless he tells us about it." Chris said.
"Or if we force it out of him." Dan said, cracking his knuckles.
"Dan! You'll just traumatized him more!" Sara pointed out.
"Relax, blondie I was kidding." Dan replied.
"Suuure you were." Sara responded.
"Don't worry guys, I'm sure Lincoln will tell us when he's ready." Sinbad told them.
Sinbad is right, it's Lincoln choice after all." Topaz said.
As Aquamarine got up, she silently whispered to herself.
"Be careful, you cute dullard... You cute, white haired dullard."
Lincoln was on a floating platform and most his comrades were also on floating platforms as well, Leggy and Topaz included.
"Yo, Lincoln, the rest of you guys I'm telling you, don't go out there! No one has ever passed the Emperor's test." Sinbad said as gripped onto Lincoln's platform. "They've got a tank full of our junk. Th-That thing's just swimming with junk!"
Though slightly disturbed at the comedian's description, Lincoln and his fellow test takers remained undeterred.
"Listen Sinbad, we have have loved ones waiting for us on Earth, we're going out there and proving it..." Chris declared, turning towards the doors.
"And then, we're going home!" Eclipsa said as she held onto Meteora (whom she retrieved from the daycare center), as Globgor held onto both of them.
Just then, the doors opened and the four platforms carried the Exiles all the way to the center of the ship Below them was a massive container that was opened, a cheering crowd of Roger's people as their emperor, along with Foster, two guards, and a chained by the arms, beaten up Roger. The latter nearly made Lincoln and Eclipsa puke their guts.
The room then fell silent as Zing began to speak.
"The Exiles..." Zing said with malice in his voice as he continued. "You wish to be returned safely to your home planets. On what grounds do you base such a preposterous notion?"
Lincoln got a little nervous so Leggy spoke up for him.
"On the grounds that when you cowards abducted all of us, you separated us from the people who care about us and love us with everything they have!"
"Y-Yeah! What she said!" Lincoln confirmed, regaining his courage.
"Are you all willing to take the test to prove it."
"Yes!" The Exiles, Leggy and Topaz confirmed in unison.
Before the Emperor could say something else, Lincoln spoke up once again.
"Oh Emperor, if we pass, you have to release Roger and all the men their... you know... back!"
Lincoln's conditions made the big room go silent for two whole minutes.
"What's that kid doing?" The blue muscular alien asked as he, Zoe, and the many other aliens watched the test proceedings from a small TV above the counter in the bar.
"Why is he risking all of that just to save me?" Roger thought to himself as he stared out of his remaining eye in surprise. During his time on Earth, most of the people he hung out with were total D bags who gladly threw the gray alien under the bus, only to pay the price for it later, either because he is under a drug's illusion at the time or because of his incompetence.
The Emperor thought this over long and hard before coming to a decision.
"Very well Lincoln, I'll give in to your conditions if you pass." Zing told him before he addressed the crowd around them. "Now, it's time to wake up... the Majestic."
Hearing this made the gray crowd of aliens cheer even louder briefly.
"Wait, what?" Dan asked, just as confused as the others were.
"Well, how did you think this would?" Zing pointed out in a matter of fact tone.
"We didn't think it had anything to do with... whatever "The Majestic" is." Topaz said.
"Well everyone, our test involves a creature in that container down there called "The Majestic" that uses its tentacles to scan your memories of any kind, in this case alleged love, and displays them for all to see."
"That's in invasion of privacy!" Globgor said, angrily.
"Maybe, but how will we know if you're telling the truth or not?" Zing countered, making Globgor look away a bit. "Anyway since there's a lot of you taking this test, I want to know who's going first?"
"I'll go first." Lincoln said as his platform went toward Zing before stopping.
"Alright, you're up Lincoln." Zing said before he again addressed the crowd. "So anyway, put your hands together for the one to wake up the Majestic... The Summoner!"
Above them, a platform was lowered as a big, fat, gray alien who looked so obese that he was sitting in it and using it to move around rather than on it and just having the platform move on its own. The alien was wearing black, baggy pants, had orange hair on the back of his head, an open purple vest that valets have, and some gray and blue googles over his eyes, and he was holding a weird scepter like Zing was, who begun to sing.
A sight for sore eyes to the blind would be awful majestic
The Summoner began to float around addressing the crowd as Zing clapped to show his excitement.
It would be the most beautiful thing that they ever had seen
The Summoner flew down to Lincoln's level, briefly maintaining eye contact before flying down to the Majestic's container.
It would cause such surprise, it would make all of their minds electric
The fat alien then took a a red, yellow and blue trio of balls and dropped them down in the container, as the crowd cheered him on.
How could anyone tell them that some things are not what they seem
Three explosions went off when the balls hit the abyss below, signifying that the Majestic was now awake as it raised a few of its red tentacles, much to Lincoln and everyone's else's shock.
In such disbelief, I thought I was asleep when I met you
The probing tentacles tried to snatch at Lincoln, who instinctively began to either dodge or outrun them.
My heart liquefied and I sighed, oh this must be a dream
Lincoln continued to try and dodge the tentacles when one grab him by the leg, forcing him to trip and another tentacle managed to wrap itself around the boy's body.
If I forget to set the alarm and sleep on through the dawn, don't remind me
Zing looked on with an evil smile on his face as the Majestic plugged the of its other tentacles into three outlets, mainly sound, video and visual.
I'd rather be dreaming of someone than living alone
As two tentacles jammed themselves into Lincoln's ears, a holographic screen came to life in front of him and everyone else who was watching as his memories were being played out in front of his face. From down in the stadium where Jasper and Eyeball were (who surprisingly stopped their training to watch), to the bar where Zoe and Sinbad and the others were, to even outside the establishments screens were popping up.
And with each memory that was being played out, Lincoln began to cry as tears began to stream down his face. Not just because his memories were being violated by Zing's memory searching pet but because when he looked back all that he did to the people around him, it made him begin to realize just how much of a little scheming, self-serving punk that the Loud boy really was in comparison to everyone else he knew.
As for Zing, the alien Emperor was every single second of Lincoln's emotional suffering, as well as his citizens were just as ecstatic about the Loud boy's memories being scanned from his mind.
As for Eclipsa, Sinbad, Zoe and the others with Lincoln or not, they were quite surprised that the seemingly innocent and sweet Lincoln was just as flawed and self centered as any other human on Earth. Even Dan was a bit shocked at what Lincoln has done to everyone around him, and seemingly not caring about the consequences of his actions.
From the boy yelling into a duck like phone sending a angry filled message to someone, perhaps one of his sisters (as well as the message itself since they can hear and understand what Lincoln was saying... to an extent as the music blaring out all around them was overlapping most of the clips and what they could hear faintly was rather... something that made Eclipsa cover her infant daughter's ear in surprise at the words that Lincoln used.), to Lincoln insulting someone in a cafeteria unintentionally, causing the person in question (being a girl) to storm out of the place in anger, to when Lincoln either used his sisters for when they needed him to choose where to go on vacation and when he tried to win a video contest and ended humiliating his sisters to in order to do it, only to fail anyway. From scheming with his sisters to help out his best friend... only for that friend to find out and became angry at him during that time, to Lincoln telling Lisa to change herself at school, to which he forced his sisters to take a "perfect" picture... only to atone for it later, to when he made his 9 of his sisters fight at once... all because he couldn't his big mouth shut.
And to his most recent, and last memory when he was on Earth, lying to everyone and supporting one of his sisters about being something that he wasn't!
With that last memory out, the tentacle holding the white haired boy released him and Lincoln collapsed to knees in tears, feeling defeated.
If you're searching the lines for a point, well you've probably missed it
The Summoner lowered himself down and to Lincoln's platforms as he gently took the boy's chin and gently wiped away a tear.
There was never anything there in the first place
With the song over, the Majestic retreated back into its container as the Summoner flicked Lincoln's tear into the container as it closed back up.
The crowd quieted down as they turned to Zing for his verdict, who in turn was looking down with a disappointed look on his face at the sobbing and depressed Lincoln Loud, who wiped away his tears and began to get up from his faced down position... which he was too sad to do so Eclipsa, Leggy, and Milo, jumped off their platforms and help him up.
"You call that "love" Loud?!" Zing asked in anger. "All we saw were examples of you being a selfish, inconsiderate, motor mouthed, doesn't know when to shut up, manipulative little jerk who never appreciated the people around him until he got here!" Zing said in a cutting tone, just rubbing the salt into Lincoln's already opened up emotional wounds. "I'm "sorry" to say, Lincoln Loud of Earth..." He then gave a thumbs down with his hand. "But you've FAILED!"
Zing's declaration made the crowd cheer and Lincoln and the others began to shudder in fear at what that means for the boy himself.
"No, no, no!" Lincoln began to plead. "I can a better brother to them. I can be a better friend, I SWEAR! Please just let me go home!"
"I'm sorry Lincoln, but I can't do that." Zing said, sympathetically before he continued. "And you know the deal. If you can't prove the love, you're going to lose your tools for love."
As Lincoln's platform began to get lowered down to the ground, Foster called out to him.
"See you in three weeks at 6am for your smoothening, Mr. Loooud!" He said in a mocking tone.
"Great, can this day get any worst?!" He said in a completely saddened tone.
With Lincoln's test completed. Eclipsa went up next.
Then Globgor...
Meteora was next...
Then Dan...
Chris went after him...
Sara went after him...
Bridgette was after her...
Milo stepped up next...
Martin was tested afterwards...
Leggy went up after him...
The Topazes unfused and went up one at a time...
As a result...
"You all failed!" Zing said giving the thumbs down.
"Boo!" Topaz jeered.
"This test is rigged!" Dan said, shaking his fist at the Emperor.
"Why?" Globgor said.
"Why? I'll tell you why?! It's because none of you gave a rat's ass about anyone other then yourselves." Zing said. "Preparing for you smoothening in 3 weeks." He then began to laugh manically as the platforms of the testers were lowered like Lincoln was.
As Dan and the others were going to bar, the others went as Dan stood out for a bit to think about what was going to happen to him, Lincoln and the others in three weeks. As he was thinking, Dan saw out of the corner of his eye Aquamarine and Eyeball sitting down by the fountain and talking to each other, their backs facing Dan. Wanting to know more, Dan carefully and quietly snuck over to the terrible two.
When he was within earshot, he overheard Aquamarine speak first.
"Ugh, pretending I "love" that white haired Human freak!" Aquamarine spoke in annoyance. "So irritating!"
"You're not having genuine feeling for him, are you?!" Eyeball said, a little worried.
"Oh stars no! I'd rather be shattered than have... "feelings" for that little twerp!" Aquamarine confirmed. "You're the only one I have feelings for."
"Same here, sweet cheeks!" Eyeball said as she smacked her girlfriend's skirted ass full force causing the high ranked gem to let out a gasp of shock. "But, don't worry beautiful! All we have to do is pretend that Lincoln's the boss then we take him out and take his place as leader."
Aquamarine rubbed her posterior before she glared playfully at her equal for assaulting her backside inappropriately, the Ruby in question just gave her a smug smirk.
'Sorry Aqua, I just couldn't resist smacking your fine ass." Eyeball said, attempting to smack Aquamarine's backside once more, only for her girlfriend to grab it.
"We're in public, Gemini. Save it for when we're alone." Aquamarine said, blushing as she grabbed her soldier's hand.
"Okay, fine." Eyeball said, before planting her lips on Aquamarine's, gently grabbing her face and making her wrap her arms around the Ruby's back... before "accidently" falling into the fountain.
Taking this this chance and having seen all he needed to, Dan quickly and quietly snuck back to the bar, with new thoughts in his mind as he tried to process what he just witnessed.
"Oh man, I knew something was strange about that little blue bitch! I knew she wouldn't accept Lincoln's romantics so easily. Jeez, Lincoln's going to be devastated when he hears about this."
It appears that Lincoln (and the rest of his surrogate family) are having the worst day of their lives as not only did they failed Zing's test but Aquamarine was seeing another person behind Lincoln's back and Dan has found out about it.
What will Lincoln and the Exiles do now?"
Find out next time on "The Exiles"!