Cruisin For a Bruisin', Part 2!
Back at the Z-Building...
The Crew, now in their civilian guises, were watching the exploits of Kommander K-Rot And His Awesome Bruise Crew in action on the news.
"And, in other news, yet another supervillain onslaught from King Kone and Cold Turkey has been curtailed, thanks to the efforts of Kommander K-Rot and his crew," replied The Fox from the TV. "It seems like these newcomers are definitely making waves, huh, Crow?"
"That's right, Fox!" replied Crow. "And now they're in talks for movie deals, a TV show, a line of 5-inch action figures, and a series of video games on EVERY system. Nobody can get enough of these guys, not even me! In fact, I have a Kommander K-Rot tattoo on my feathers somewhere—"
"That's great, Crow…" The Fox nervously replied as he tugged at his coat. "Cut to commercial!" he hissed.
KLIK.
Rodney turned off the TV, as he and the rest of the team let out a massive sigh. For the past few weeks, the Bruise Crew had been showing them up at every turn! It was starting to seem like there was no way to beat these guys at their own game. They were just sharper, faster, stronger, and better at crimefighting than they were. But something was...amissabout the new crew that the old crew had almost caught onto. But what was it about them that gave them more chutzpah than the Zoo Crew?
"Well, if we're done moping, I'm going for Chinese," said Felina. "Anyone else want in?"
Everyone else agreed, save for Rodney.
"I'll stick around and finish up this next ish of JLA," he replied.
"Suit yourself, then," Felina responded. "We'll bring something back for ya!"
So, as the crew left, Rodney set into drawing the rest ofJust'a Lotta Animals, this time it was about them taking on a bunch of alt-Earth doppelgangers called The Grime Synduckate. As Rodney continued writing, drawing, and inking the book, something caught his attention. So, he turned on the TV to put on some background noise while he worked.
"And then Batmouse finally takes on Owlrat—" Rodney muttered, before he paused and looked at the TV, seeing The Bruise Crew on it, then looked at a photo of his friends and then back again. "Leaping Lettuce! You don't think—it couldn't be...but it IS!"
"GUYS! GUYS! GUYS!" yelled Rodney as he burst in, looking utterly frazzled. "I FIGURED IT OUT!"
As everyone stared at him, he frantically gestured to a picture of themselves, then to a shot of the Bruise Crew on TV.
"Rodney, have y'all gone cuckoo-bird?!" Timmy Joe scolded him. "Thanks to yer ramblin', ah can't even get a bite in peace."
"Yeah, why don'cha save it for later?!" replied Peter, his mouth full. "Right now, I got some dumplings to munch on!"
"Dahling, I'm sure your comic work is astounding," Rova stated. "But I believe me and Byrd were in the middle of a discussion about his latest picture."
"Oh, yeah! I'm doing one calledAll Ducks Go To Hell," Burt replied as he gulped down some noodles. "That Don Moose sure knows how to make a good picture."
"Don Moose? I thought you'd be working with Hal Feedham again," Felina chimed in. "Then again, those two sequels toSmokey and The Pandadidn't do so well..."
"Eugh! I hated those too," gagged Chester as he gulped down some egg rolls. "The originals are always the best!"
"But this is more important than egg rolls and movie talk!" Rodney exclaimed, as he pointed at all three things once again. "Can't you see they're all related somehow?! The Bruise Crew must be supervillains from another dimension, just like in the story I'm currently doing where The Just'a Lotta Animals battle The Grime Synduckate and if we don't stop 'em soon, it's gonna be a fowl crisis on ONE Earth! Ours to be exact! And maybe others, like Superwham or whatever his name is Earth too!"
"Hey! Mebbe Rodney's onto somethin'!" Peter suggested after he swallowed. "When I saw those Bruise Crew guys deal with those villains, they wuz real brutal!"
"Not to mention, the way they acted towards us was very condescending and rude," Byrd also rebuttled. "Actin' like they owned the place!"
"Leave it to them to be the most entitled superteam on the planet," Chester said while washing the dishes. "What's next, a fight to the death after we find out their evil plans?"
"We don't know for sure, Little Cheese," Felina sighed as she got up. "But first thing tomorrow, we're gonna put a stop to this madness."
Meanwhile at Dr Hoot's Laboratory...
Everything was going according to plan; the not-so-good doctor cackled wickedly as he saw the Bruise Crew invite themselves in.
Turning around with a dramatic flair, he pressed a button on his chair and a trap door opened to form a meeting table as The Bruise Crew each took a chair, with Dr Hoot at the head of the table, smirking devilishly as he cleared his throat.
"So, I assume things went swimmingly? What am I saying, of COURSE they did!" he beamed. "I've been watching the reports and everything, Bruise Crew, and you've been doing a splendid job!" Hoot stated with glee as he got up out of his seat. "Now it's time for Phase 2—"
"We already have a Phase 2 in mind, Hoot," K-Rot said with a sinister sneer. "You see, on our Earth, we killed all of our heroes to get rid'a the competition in our 'verse! Which means, you count as competition…in fact, we ended you in our universe."
"E-ended?!" Hoot sputtered. "Get to the point, will you?!"
"Yep, we killed you in our universe," K-Rot said with no hesitation. "K-I-L-L-E-D.KILLED. Shuffled you off the mortal coil, ran down the curtain and got you a spot in the choir invisible. You are an Ex-Owl!"
"R-really? Me?" asked Hoot, now noticeably offput. "I don't suppose you'll tell me how you did it?"
"We'll dobetterthan that, we'll SHOW ya!" said K-Rot, as he played a recording that showed the Bruise Crew dealing with their heroes [in this world, they'd be the Zoo Crew's villains]. "Oh, here comes the best part!"
Dr. Hoot watched in shock as the video showed the Bruise Crew ganging up on and beating up his good-guy counterpart, Professor Owl; Big Fromage gave him the grandddaddy of the great-uncle of all atomic wedgies, then Elastic-Fowl shoved him in the toilet, while Pork Machine flushed it for a swirlie.
FLOOOOSH! GURGL-URGL-URGLE!
Hoot watched, but tried to regain his composure. "Okay...m-m-moving on..." he stammered. "The p-p-p-plan is to—"
"The only plan is to get rid of you!" Kommander K-Rot declared as he threw the table aside like it was lawn furniture.
His eyes darting around the room, Dr. Hoot grabbed a pair of laser blasters. "Stand back!" he exclaimed. "I've got weapons, and I'm not afraid to use—"
YOINK!
"What,theselittle toys?" sneered Pork Machine as he took a big bite out of both blasters. "Wotta shame, Feather-face; you're outta tools and outta luck!"
And so, the beatdown began, starting with Pork Machine pummeling Dr. Hoot repeatedly, following it up by punching him into Elastic Fowl, who then coiled himself around his body, and turned his hands into boxing gloves and worked him over like a bop bag.
WHOPPITA-WHOPPITA-WHOPPITA-WHAM!
Next up, Anarchist Collie cut through Hoot's feathers with her sickle, then slammed him through the floor with her hammer, followed by Sorcer-Roar sending him flying through a wall with magical lightning from her fingertips.
SWISH! SWASH! FRA-ZZAK!
Then, Hardshell sped in with a barrage of speed-blows...BIFF! SOK! POW!...and then punched Hoot over to Big Fromage, who caught him in his hands and squeezed him like a stress toy—SQUEESH! SQUISH! SQUASH!—then tossed him to the floor and stomped on him—STOMP! STOMP! STOMP!
Once he was done, he peeled him off his shoe, and threw him at the feet of the Kommander, who was waiting with arms crossed, and brow furrowed.
"I'm gonna enjoy this," he grinned. "Really, Iwill."
And so, he proceeded to give Dr. Hoot the granduncle of the great-granddaddy of the father of the son of all beatings, while his cohorts cheered him on.
The painful pummeling was finally topped off by sending Dr. Hoot flying through four walls.
CRASH!
SMASH!
BOOM!
BASH!
Once that was done, Hoot struggled to his feet—covered in bruises of all sorts, but STILL somehow living—only to be grabbed by Kommander K-Rot.
"Now then, owl-boy...have you got any last words before I send you on a permanent vacation?" K-Rot asked. "Or will I have to say them for you?"
"Just a few…" Hoot said as he was beaten weakly. "For one thing, you can't kill me—I'll always come back somehow, some way…like a bad case of indigestion, or an Ewe Bull movie!"
"...and my anticipation for what comes next has heightened greatly," said K-Rot, as he activated the portal machine. "So long, Doc! You're checkin' out…FOREVER!"
And with a whirl of his wrist, he threw Dr. Hoot squawking into the portal, and it glorped shut behind him.
Now that their former co-conspirator had been dealt with, the Kommander and his crew set their sights on Califurnia, each of them bearing a devilish smile with wicked pride.
"Alright, fellas, this is gonna be th' dawn of our ultimate takeover, of not one, but TWO universes!" declared Kommander K-Rot. "Thanks to Hoot-n-a-Half, we're gonna send our goody-two-paws counterparts a message. Either they come out fightin', or we're comin' down HARD!"
The rest of the Bruise Crew's eyes lit up with sadistic glee as they cheered at the thought of getting to dish out more mayhem and malice!
Kommander K-Rot, meanwhile, was already focused on what would happen after the Zoo Crew's inevitable demise. After all...the future was just chock-full of possibilities.
Well, who'd have thunk it? I guess it's true what they say—there's no honor among thieves. Or supervillains, for that matter!
Is our Zoo Crew headed for that big Pet Shop in the sky? If I were you, I'd stay tuned!