BPOV
I sensed his presence even before acknowledging him. His scent wafted in through the open door, accompanied by the audible rhythm of his breath. An unsettling undercurrent of questioning unease filled the space, a disquiet that didn't originate from me.
"Can I help you?" I retorted, a touch brusque, barely making eye contact as I turned away.
"Do you want to explain what this is about?" he countered, gesturing towards my current state.
"Do you want to explain what that was about?" I gestured vaguely towards the city center. He responded with a single lifted blond brow, a silent challenge hanging in the air. I recognized the unspoken duel, but also knew he wouldn't be the first to yield. Frustration seeped into my sigh, realizing I wouldn't emerge victorious in this standoff.
"Do I want to? No." I admitted, reluctant to unveil the turmoil within me. Yet, I faced a crossroads—either let him decipher it himself or be transparent. Decisions, decisions.
I hadn't meticulously monitored my personal shield, and if it currently wavered, he could likely sense the tumult regardless. Even if my shield prevented him from feeling, my face betrayed the internal storm. He wasn't blind or stupid.
Inevitably, I concluded that withholding this could be catastrophic—jeopardizing our professional collaboration and any personal connection we shared. Honesty, it seemed, was the only path forward.
He allowed me a moment of silence, patiently awaiting my revelation. The decision was made, I gathered my thoughts, acknowledging that he would not leave until I bared my soul, as embarrassing as it was.
I rose from the cot and began pacing, avoiding eye contact as I prepared to expose every emotion swirling within me. "Am I going to anyway? Probably."
Casually leaning on the door frame, arms crossed in patience, he waited for my confession. Internally groaning at my own melodrama, I acknowledged the inevitability that he wouldn't leave until I spilled my guts.
"I'm mad at you, okay? There was no reason for you to verbally chastise me out there this afternoon. I messed up, and that's why you find yourself in your own personal hell, doing something you never thought you'd do again. But insinuating that I lack awareness isn't the best way to inspire collaboration."
I saw him inhale deeply, exhaling with a quiet sigh, but I pressed on before he could interject. "All of this is compounded by my self-loathing for dragging you back into this. I hate the stress and PTSD it triggers, knowing that I'm the cause." His flinch confirmed my accuracy, yet he refrained from speaking, letting me continue my verbal purge.
"This whole situation is just further complicated by the fact that I have feelings for you. Not just friendship, but a more 'oh-my-god-when-did-I-start-falling-for-him' kind of way. It began with the small things—the Southern Gentleman act, which, let's face it, isn't an act. The genuine conversations, letting me see the real you, all while being incredibly intelligent, amazing, and undeniably attractive. You manage it all effortlessly, but it looks exhausting. You genuinely care about others, help them rectify mistakes, and I'm living proof of that. You're kind, patient, and actually listen to others' opinions. You're a remarkable man who has been through horrific experiences and has garnered a certain reputation, yet, truthfully? You're a formidable force with a heart of gold, and I can't resist being drawn to it."
He gazed at me in astonishment as I took a breath, contemplating whether my burgeoning feelings were as evident as I feared. "I didn't think now was the opportune moment to broach the subject of my potentially romantic sentiments, given that we're in the midst of a war and all. "However, since you asked, and as I'm still upset with you and might be teetering on the edge, I figured now was the time to unload all of this on you. Perhaps by laying it all bare, it'll help me in regaining clarity and I can stop feeling so damn bewildered, hurt, and angry."
I finished my passionate rant, finally ceasing my restless pacing to meet his gaze. The shock lingered in his expression, but a nameless and primal intensity simmered in his eyes, resonating with something deep within me.
In just three determined strides, he closed the distance between us. His hand cupped my jaw, and despite the intensity in his eyes, his touch was surprisingly gentle. With unwavering resolve, he leaned down, his lips meeting mine. Initially stunned by this unexpected turn of events, I momentarily froze. However, the shock gave way to a surge of movement, my hands instinctively finding their place—one entangled in the back of his wavy golden hair, the other gripping the nape of his neck. I kissed him back, fiercely.
Breaking away for a moment, I made him look at me and declared, "This doesn't mean I'm not still mad at you," before pulling him into another kiss.
Jasper, briefly withdrawing, responded, "We'll discuss it later," holding me tighter and deepening the kiss.
They say kissing the "right person" is like fireworks, but this surpassed any prior experience. I had passionately kissed Char, and while it was sweet and breathtaking, this kiss with Jasper was different. It felt like the world had shifted on its axis, leaving me dizzy. It was an intoxicating sensation, drowning yet insatiable.
As he pulled back slightly, he whispered against my lips, "I've been waitin' to do that for fifty years."
Still processing the unexpected turn of events, my brain defaulted to sarcasm and snark. "Fifty years, huh? You mean to tell me you liked me in high school?"
"Honestly?" Jasper cringed slightly. "I wanted to kill you the first time you and the damn teenager met."
"What?!" I nearly yelped, pulling back and staring at him, though I made no real effort to pull away. "You wanted to kill me? Why?"
"The simple answer is that you were a threat to me and the..." He shrugged, a hint of reluctance in completing the sentence.
"The Cullens. Got it," I finished for him. "Wow. I honestly have no response to that." I began to withdraw from his embrace, but he held me firm.
"Wait a minute," he pleaded. "Let me explain."
I halted my attempt to free myself from his embrace, locking eyes with his intense ruby gaze, awaiting his explanation.
"It wasn't until after I got the chance to know you that I realized what a mistake that woulda been," he admitted honestly, holding my gaze. "The more I understood you as human, fragile, and utterly bafflin', the more I realized I wanted you to stay alive for a very long time. After that revelation, I started to genuinely enjoy your company around the house, looking forward to our few conversations. You treated me like a part of the family, not the pariah I was led to believe I was."
"Let's not delve into the myriad ways the Cullens did us dirty right now."
"We'd be here a long time," he agreed, chuckling. "Back to the point, when I saw you in Volterra for the first time in so long, and as one of us, I was relieved."
Brows furrowed, I asked, "Why?"
"Because I just might finally get my chance with you after all these years. The best part was findin' out you aren't the same timid wallflower from all those years ago. Instead, you've grown into this intelligent, badass, beautiful woman who made one hell of a reputation in the Volturi Guard. I couldn't have wished for a better life for you. The only wish I have left is that you may have some room in your new life for me."
"Absolutely," I whispered, and before I knew it, he lifted me up, wrapping my legs around his hips. His face met mine in another kiss, the overwhelming and addictive feeling intensified. My body responded, clutching him tightly and running fingers through his hair. In this position, there was no hiding the desire building between us. I felt his hardness pressed against me, and the ache of need intensified.
I arched my body into his, angling my hips to press the seam of his pants against him. He groaned, and I swallowed the sound. He wasn't making a move to progress things further, but I knew that's what he wanted. Instead of waiting, I took matters into my own hands—literally.
Running my hand down his chest, I trailed my fingers to the waistband of his pants. Guiding my hand between us, I maneuvered it lower, feeling his full length. Without hesitation, I grabbed him through his pants, gently rubbing my palm up and down the hard shaft. He growled, and all I could do was smirk.
I waited for him to stop me, to tell me no. But he didn't. Instead, he kissed me more thoroughly, nipping at my jawline and growling as I continued.
He skillfully led us to one of the cots, gently laying us down. "Are you sure?" he asked, his tone tender. Despite my lack of subtlety with my hand pressed against him, it seemed he required explicit verbal consent for anything to proceed.
I thought I already had immense respect for this man, but hearing him ask for explicit consent, even with my attempts to stimulate him through his pants, only intensified my desire for him. "Yes."
His subsequent kiss surpassed the intensity of our first, unleashing the hidden desires and emotions he had kept under wraps. "Holy shit," escaped my lips in a breathless moan as Jasper's lips traced a path from mine down to just under my ear.
Focused on making his way down my neck, he confessed, "You have no idea how much I've wanted you," while attempting to remove my shirt. I pulled his face back to mine, dropping my shield and letting him feel the torrent of emotions that matched his own. The overwhelming mixture of desire, lust, excitement, nervousness, and an unfamiliar surge, not quite happiness, but more like elation, flooded our connection.
It was perfect, but still not enough. I craved more.
In a frenzy, our clothes couldn't come off fast enough. I needed the feel of his bare skin against mine immediately, nearly tearing his shirt in my eagerness. "Woah, woah. Slow down. We've got time," he coaxed gently, wanting to savor the moment.
"I don't want to slow down. I need you. Now," I demanded, flipping us off the cot onto the floor. Jasper landed with an "Oof," and I straddled him, kissing his strong chest. Unhindered by any injury, he sat up, gently pulling me up to my knees above him.
"I think you're a little overdressed," he remarked with the confidence of a man about to thoroughly enjoy himself, tearing my shirt down the middle.
I made a surprised sound as I looked down at my nearly bare chest. "That was my favorite shirt!"
"Liar," he responded with a smirk, "You brought three more just like this one. That bra, however," he unclipped it and threw it onto the cot, "I know you only brought one of. I'll be nice to it, though somethin' could be said for having you walk around without one. I'm sure your soldiers wouldn't mind." He followed the crude comment with a lewd wink, prompting me to push his scarred chest down towards the floor in a playful response.
Jasper chuckled darkly as he reclined and observed my struggles with the button on his pants. It became apparent he wouldn't make it easy for me. While my attention was on the tricky button, he swiftly flipped me onto my back, pinning my arms above my head.
"And here I thought you wanted this." I wasn't certain if it was a statement or a question as he planted teasing kisses down my sternum.
"Oh, I do. Very much so." He agreed, his lips grazing the curve of my right breast.
"You're just gonna make me fight for it?"
"Absolutely." He grinned wickedly and took my nipple into his mouth. The sensation made my back arch as he continued to nibble and suck, sending shivers through me.
His mouth migrated from one breast to the other in a sequence of gentle nibbles and kisses, his hand massaging the breast he had just left. "These are so perfect."
All I could manage in response was a whine.
Seizing the opportunity while I was thoroughly distracted by his attention to my upper body, he skillfully unbuttoned my pants with his free hand.
Temporarily abandoning my nipples, he traced kisses down my stomach, briefly exploring my belly button with his tongue. As he descended further, he playfully nipped at my hips, soothing the small bites with his tongue on either side. The sensation was electrifying, and a breathy "Jasper" escaped my lips as his tongue ventured past the band of my panties.
Before I could gather my thoughts, he deftly removed my jeans, burying his nose between my legs. With only the thin fabric separating us, I had no doubt he could not only smell but also see how wet I was for him.
"Damn, you smell good," he groaned, the sound akin to pain. When he looked back up at me, his eyes were momentarily black with desire, and I was certain mine mirrored the intensity.
Unable to restrain myself, I quipped, "I taste even better."
With a single raised blond eyebrow, he accepted the unspoken challenge and promptly ripped my panties off. "Oops," he said, feigning innocence, "I hope you didn't like those."
To be honest, I couldn't care less about the sacrificed lingerie. Instead of responding, I seized his hair, pulling him down toward where I craved him the most.
He got the message and chuckled, the sound sending delightful vibrations across my sensitive skin. Without further ado, he went to work. As he licked up my folds, the only audible sounds were an animalistic growl and his breathless declaration, "God, you taste good." He then skillfully located my clit, embarking on a journey of gentle teasing that drove me wild.
He savored my taste with an intensity that had me on the brink of ecstasy. His teasing bites and gentle grazing with his teeth heightened my pleasure, keeping my focus right where he desired. By then, I was too lost in the sensation to care; all that mattered was the overwhelming pleasure. Whimpering and panting, I managed to beg, "Inside," and he complied, adding a finger while still indulging in my essence. Although I could feel him working the digit in and out, the desire for more overwhelmed me, and I pleaded, "More."
He introduced a second finger, expertly curling both to explore the internal depths that would send me spiraling into bliss. It didn't take him long to find the sweet spot. The third time he rubbed it, I saw stars and might have been screaming his name in ecstasy as I tumbled into orgasm. He skillfully extended the pleasure, plunging his tongue into the space his fingers had vacated.
After catching my breath, I tugged at his hair, wordlessly expressing my desire for a kiss. He met my silent request, and our lips collided in a fiery kiss. The taste of myself on his lips and in his mouth drove me wild, intensifying my craving for a deeper connection.
With a growl, I rolled us over, discarding the button dilemma and tearing his jeans from his body. Fortunately, he opted for commando, revealing a cock that was long, thick, and almost painfully hard. I couldn't help but grin at the sight, running the tip of a finger down his velvety length. "Did I do this to you?" I asked with a playful smirk, fully aware of the answer but relishing in teasing him.
His response was a primal growl and a thrust of his hips, silently demanding satisfaction. He was undeniably large, and I knew a challenge when I saw one. He wasn;t too large to wrap my hands around, but he was larged enough to feel a stretch when I finally got what I wanted. Him inside me. I started teasing in a mirror to what he had done to me. I knew that I wanted him nearly mindless by the time I allowed us to be joined.
Taking as much of him in my hand as I could, I stroked down his considerable length, relishing the grunts and growls escaping his lips. Before he could protest my teasing, I shifted my position, lowering my head to take him into my mouth. I didn't aim to take him all the way; instead, I savored the taste and scent of him. He tasted delicious—musky, with a hint of leather and spices. I only teased him briefly, enough to elicit grunts and growls, before releasing him and moving up his body, knowing my mouth would drive him wild later.
I kissed him passionately before taking his throbbing length back in my hand and positioning myself above him, practically impaling myself on him. The intense sensations of burning and aching radiated through me, but I welcomed it with open arms. The feeling was beyond anything I had ever experienced, and a near scream of relief escaped my lips. I felt whole, complete, at peace, and ablaze simultaneously. Without giving myself the proper time to adjust to his size, I began riding him, unable to resist the demands of my body for friction and the relief he provided. He felt incredible, meeting my movements thrust for thrust, propelling both of us towards the edge.
In a moment of vulnerability, I dropped the remnants of my shield, allowing Jasper to feel every emotion I had concealed. The realization dawned in his eyes as he sensed the last pieces I had kept hidden, unsure whether to share them. Finally letting go, I revealed all of myself to him. He wrapped his arms around my neck and back, pulling me close. As he kissed me, he reciprocated by pouring his own feelings into me, creating a union that seemed to blend our bodies into one.
"Look at you," Jasper spoke, pulling back with a sense of awe. "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." He seized the back of my head, drawing me into a passionately overwhelming kiss.
With me astride him, he reached every spot inside me, setting my body ablaze with pleasure. The sensation brought me close, and after what felt like a mere few minutes, I moaned, "I'm so close."
Jasper snarled, abandoning his careful control. Adjusting my knees slightly, he intensified the pleasure by hitting those delightful spots inside me. "Come on, Bella. Come around my cock," he growled, panting, his gaze fixed on me with an intensity that consumed everything else. His hands skillfully maneuvered, one gripping my thigh and the other taking hold of my hip. The hand on my thigh continued its upward journey until it reached the apex of my thighs, running his thumb across my clit. It pushed me over the edge, and I exploded around him.
"That's my good girl," he crooned, feeling my inner muscles clench around him. He prolonged my orgasm, extracting every drop of pleasure before declaring, "but I'm not done with ya yet." He flipped us over, thrusting himself back in, and I moaned at the intrusion, a part of me yearning for him to continue.
Grasping my knees, he lifted one to rest on his right shoulder and placed the other on his left. With each forceful thrust, he hit my g-spot repeatedly, turning me into a writhing, moaning mess beneath him. I never wanted it to end. The emotions he awakened in me and projected onto me sparked a growing craving for this connection.
"Oh, Bella. You feel so good. So wet for me. So tight," he groaned, and I responded with moans, my mind incapable of forming coherent thoughts. He kissed my lips, engaging in a heated battle for dominance that I eventually conceded. His tongue explored my mouth as his body continued its rhythmic dance with mine. The sensations propelled me into another orgasm, and with the final pulses of pleasure, his lips found my neck, biting down on the soft flesh where it met my shoulder. Another wave of ecstasy enveloped me as my body shook uncontrollably, and I moaned an elongated "Yeeessss" in his ear.
"Holy shit," I exclaimed in shock as we both reconnected with our bodies. I lowered my legs from his shoulder, and Jasper chuckled while kissing my forehead. Slowly, he pulled out of me and went to find something to clean us off with. I seized the opportunity to grab the blanket tucked into the foot of the cot nearest me. While I didn't mind Jasper seeing me naked after the intimate moment we just shared, the blanket offered a comforting shield.
Returning from the other side of the room with a wet washcloth, Jasper declared, "That was by far the best sex I've ever had."
Distracted by the sudden appearance of the washcloth, I asked, "Where did that come from? And how is it wet?"
"You tell me this was the best sex I've ever had, and you're worried about a washcloth?" Jasper responded, scrunching his brows adorably and looking slightly concerned.
"You're right," I admitted, grinning at him. "Priorities. Which begs the question, now that you've ruined my underwear, what am I gonna wear?"
In response, Jasper playfully threw the washcloth at my face, and I managed to catch it just before it landed. He chuckled, indicating he didn't take offense. "That really was amazing, though, wasn't it?" I asked in all seriousness as I cleaned myself off.
Jasper grabbed me bridal style off the floor, blanket and all, and carried me to the cots. "We're gonna have to move 'em a bit closer together, I think."
"Well," I replied, "if we plan on doing that any more, I would certainly recommend it. However, cots may not be the best place in the world for us to have sex considering they aren't all that durable, so I think I'm good with the floor."
Jasper kicked one of the cots closer to the other and laid me down on it. "Fine by me. As long as my Mate is happy, I'm happy."
"Wait," I said, shocked, turning on one side to face him. "Mate?"
"Yeah," he responded, looking a bit confused and stealing half of my blanket to cover himself as he lay on his side on the other cot. "You didn't know?"
"Clearly, I had thought about the possibility, yeah," I replied, a bit taken aback. "But I didn't know. How do you know?" Could I have possibly manifested this bond I have with Jasper now just because I was considering that I could be Mated to him?
"Instinct, I suppose." He nonchalantly shrugs while lying on his side, his free hand gently tracing along my hip.
"Could you delve deeper into that?" I inquire, a touch puzzled, as I attempt to scrutinize his face. He appears serene, yet there's an unfamiliar lightness, a departure from the perpetual weight he usually carries. In all the times I've really looked at him, he seemed burdened, restrained, and guarded. Now, however, that usual heaviness is absent from his expression.
"I can certainly try." He eases onto the cot, lying flat on his back and raising one arm, silently inviting me to cuddle. If I weren't so focused on his response, I might have found it endearing. "After your passionate outburst earlier, when you looked at me, did you feel something different?"
"I suppose," I reply honestly. There's something about Jasper that eludes definition, and when he kissed me, it was an experience beyond anything I've felt with Char. Was that what he meant?
He turns his head toward mine, running his hand through my hair. "It may feel a bit different for men than women. I can't be too sure. All I know is that men are territorial bastards who, once they find their Mate, can't ever let them go. Marcus would probably equate it to a rope or some other sort of tether."
"But I did see something," I say, turning to face him as I prop myself up on an elbow, "in your eyes."
"Makes sense," Jasper responds calmly, curiously asking, "but did you feel anything?"
He would know better than I would, but I reflect on the events that fueled my wild desire for him. "Whatever it was that I saw in your eyes," I begin, carefully choosing my words, "it felt like something called out to me, and whatever primordial being resides in the deepest part of my DNA answered that call."
He considers my response, trailing his hand from my hair over my back. "And how do you feel now with the realization that the feeling was more than likely the Mating Bond?"
Taking stock of myself, I scan from my head down to my toes. Physically, I feel less pent up, ready to ride him again, though my shoulder-neck junction throbs a bit. Mentally, my mind is quiet and at peace for the moment. Emotionally, "There is a small feeling. A yearning to be near you. Close to you."
Jasper nods as though I've confirmed something for him. "That's the representation of the Bond between us. You will probably always feel that way now."
Stunned by the complexity of this whole Mate thing and a little frustrated that I don't quite seem to grasp the concept, I couldn't help the aggravated tone when I asked, "How do you know all of this? And why did you bite me?" I wasn't hurt. Not really. It stung a bit, but nothing that I couldn't handle.
Jasper winced slightly at the accusatory tone and raised a hand to rub a thumb over the marked area. "I know all this because I've lived with Mated couples long enough to figure out those other feelings and what they mean. And I bit you because my archaic male brain told me I needed to mark you as Mine."
"But I didn't bite you," I said, both aggravated and curious.
"No," Jasper agreed. "Not this time. But now that I've marked you, there will probably be a point soon where you feel the instinct to bite me, too."
"Why the delay?" I asked, confused and a tad wary.
"To give you time to accept the Bond. Once you fully accept it," Jasper shrugged indifferently, "instinct will guide you from there."
A cheeky grin spread across my lips before I asked, "And what if I bit you now?" I snapped my teeth together for emphasis.
Jasper just laughed. "You could if you wanted to. Add your bite to the ever-growing collection, but it wouldn't be the same."
My brow furrowed in confusion. "How so?"
He took a deep breath before explaining. "When we have sex, there are specific chemicals and pheromones that we give off. A throwback to being human. The difference in a Mating Mark is the addition of those chemicals and pheromones to the bite itself. It makes that bite the most prominent one that other vampires look for regarding eligibility and Mated status."
"So I could think of it as a type of wedding ring, but for vamps?" I asked cheekily, grinning at him.
Jasper laughed loudly and squeezed me closer to him. "If you wanna think about it that way, sure."
Mated.
A part of me wondered what Caius, Aro, and Marcus would say. If news hadn't reached the Kings that I had found my Mate in Jasper before they got here, I'd be shocked. I was under no illusions that more than one vamp here had a direct line to one of the brothers, and from discussions about this topic with Marcus, I knew it wasn't an easy bond to hide.
Once one of the Kings found out, it would only be a matter of time before my Mother would find out as well, and knowing her, she would want all of the scandalous details. Not to mention, she would lose her mind at the chance to plan out a huge Mating Ceremony, though I wasn't convinced I wanted something grandiose.
My Father and Uncles, on the other hand, left me wondering about their reactions. Aro would likely be as thrilled as my Mother, reveling in the excess drama that came with immortality and ready to orchestrate something lavish if given the chance. Marcus, on the other hand, would probably delve into the Bond's strength, quietly congratulate us, and offer his advice on maintaining happiness.
My Father, however, added a layer of uncertainty. Apart from Char, he had never shown much emotional investment in my romantic relationships. Being honest with myself, I had really only invested in one other romantic relationship in this immortal life. With this new bond, predicting Caius' reaction became a difficult task. I assumed his thoughts would lean toward what would be best for the Volturi.
This train of thought led to another set of questions. Jasper and Peter weren't Volturi members and hadn't sworn allegiance to the Kings. From what I gathered, they had no intention of doing so. So, how would the bond work between us? I had no desire to leave my family or my home, and I suspected Jasper didn't want to spend his life in Volterra either. He cherished his freedom, or so it seemed.
I must have worn a perplexed expression because Jasper waved a hand in front of me, asking, "Where did you go just then?"
I smiled at him and offered a half-truth. "I was just curious about how my Father and Uncles would take the news of our Mating." There would be time to discuss the implications of this bond after winning the war. No need to add another item to the growing list of worries right now.
Jasper huffed out a laugh. "Well, we just have to make sure that whatever happens, I don't end up burned." Then he grew serious. "We also need to ensure that the Romanians and Maria don't find out about this. They could use us against each other."
I hadn't considered it, but he was right. If one of us were captured, the other could be manipulated to ensure the safety of the captive. Maria would exploit that vulnerability, killing one of us just to watch the other suffer.
"Does that mean I have to stay close to you from now on?" I looked into his eyes, seeking the answer. If he said yes, there was no doubt I'd pitch a fit. I was perfectly capable of looking after myself, and the idea of constant supervision, even by my own Mate, grated on me.
"Navigating that question is like treading through a labyrinth", he admitted sincerely. "In the initial stages, it seems more advantageous. You know, my ancient male brain has this possessive streak, and I feel this innate duty to ensure your well-being and safety. It's a responsibility I can't shake off."
Both anticipating and feeling my objection, he pressed on. "I get it, I do. In my rational mind, I know you're perfectly capable of handling and defending yourself. Call it archaic instincts, if you will."
"So what does that mean, exactly?"
He inhales a breath, perhaps more for himself than anything else, and replies thoughtfully, "I suppose it implies that both of us will be grappling with our instincts for a bit."
I arch an eyebrow in inquiry. "So, if I understand correctly, our instincts might lean towards closeness, but considering the nature of our pursuits, maintaining the status quo would be more strategically advantageous?"
"Exactly," Jasper smirks, his agreement punctuated with a touch of amusement.