East Wind Coming: The story so far
I really recommend going back and reading the previous chapters… but for those who want to jump right in, here's a summary:
Jim Kirk is sent to Tarsus IV as a twelve-year-old foster child after crashing his stepfather's car in Riverside, Iowa. Initially, he views this as an adventure and a chance to escape his stepfather Frank. His mother offers to return home for him if he's not happy on Tarsus, but he doesn't think the offer is genuine. Hurt, he dismisses it and decides to stay.
On Tarsus, Jim lives with foster parents Eli and Varda Leighton and their five-year-old son Tommy. Life is hard work with endless chores, but Jim adapts. When his intelligence is recognized, he's assigned to work at the biolab under Dr. Rafael Kodos, a charismatic scientist leading genetic research to save the colony's failing crops.
Jim craves Kodos' approval and mentorship. However, he eventually discovers that Kodos has deliberately engineered the crop-killing fungus as part of a eugenics plan to eliminate those he considers "inferior." When another scientist, Dr. Mendez, exposes this plot in a letter to the governor of Tarsus, Kodos has him killed and frames it as a heart attack. Jim reads the letter and commits it to memory as best he can.
As the food crisis intensifies, Kodos divides the colonists into two lists - those worthy of survival and those to be "culled." Jim, designated for execution with the other 4,000 colonists on the first list, manages to escape with Tommy during the massacre. They hide in a barn loft for weeks, with Jim venturing out at night to steal food and supplies. At one point Jim is caught and pays a dear price. This is a turning point for Jim, as he realizes he can't passively wait for rescue and has to devise a plan of his own.
One night, Jim leaves Tommy in the barn and breaks into the colony's communications hub. He manages to send out a quick message to his mother, including Dr. Mendez' article accusing Kodos of engineering the toxic fungus. But Jim is captured and tortured by Kodos, who wants to know Tommy's location and suspects that Jim has more evidence of his crimes. Jim endures isolation, beatings, and psychological manipulation but refuses to reveal Tommy's hiding place. However, Tommy is eventually found and captured anyway.
Just as Jim is reaching his breaking point, Starfleet arrives and rescues him. Kodos supposedly dies during the raid, though Jim comes to doubt this.
Eight years later, Jim is a troubled drifter in Riverside. He periodically receives antique books with inscriptions he believes are from Kodos, who has somehow survived and is tormenting him. These books arrive whenever Jim establishes any stability in his life, sending him into anxious spirals. He drops out of school and periodically gets in trouble with the law - the "genius level repeat offender" that Pike finds in the bar in Riverside.
After the bar fight, Captain Pike recruits him to Starfleet Academy. Jim joins with his collection of thirteen philosophy and science books - the "gifts" from his tormentor - hoping that perhaps in space he might finally escape Kodos' reach and find some meaning in his life.
One year later
Every time the shuttle shifts altitude it sends a jolt of pain through his back and rib cage. "Got a little turbulence from this weather," the pilot calls back. "It's going to get bumpy." The shuttle dips suddenly, as if in demonstration.
The metal cot he's resting on (well, strapped to) seems solid enough, but the mattress is thin and uncomfortable. Jim tries to shift around a bit, feeling the unpleasant tug of the IV line in his arm.
"You doing all right, cadet?" the medic asks, shooting him a worried glance. "We're about twenty minutes out. Won't be long now."
"It's fine." Jim can hardly complain, with the other cadet strapped down and unconscious on another cot not two meters away. Bruer has a head injury and a broken leg and who knows what else, and the medic has hardly moved from his side since they'd made it back to base camp over an hour ago.
The medic reaches over to the med sensor strapped to Jim's right wrist, tilting it toward him so he can read the display. "Your temperature's coming up slowly, but it's still low. Pulse is still slower than normal. Got any sensation back in your feet or your fingers? Any pain?" Jim shakes his head. They helped him remove his snow-encrusted boots back at the camp and put his feet into a dry pair of insulated socks, but his fingers still feel like stiff blocks of wood and his feet are weirdly disconnected from his body. His hands are stuffed into thermoregulatory gloves, but he got a quick look at the mottled, bluish-white skin. Not good. At least they don't hurt. Yet.
"Try to relax, Cadet Kirk." The medic looks apologetic. "I know you're uncomfortable, but I can't give you anything for the pain just yet. First priority is getting your core temp up. They'll take care of rewarming the limbs when we arrive."
When they arrive… Shit, Bones is going to kill him.
The pain, when it comes, will probably be just what he deserves. On that, at least, he and Bones will be in agreement.
He's cold, shivering in quick tremors despite the blankets that cover him from neck to toe. He tries to keep his breathing light and shallow to avoid straining his ribs, but another sudden drop in altitude draws a grunt from him.
Maybe he'll be lucky (not likely), and Bones won't be on duty at Starfleet Medical when he comes in. It's late August. Bones' summer internship at Johns Hopkins should have ended by now, and classes aren't due to start for another week. He has a brief, whimsical thought that Bones might not even be back at the Academy yet, and Jim can somehow conceal this whole mess from him.
Right. There's no way Bones won't find out, and he's going to have a lot of pointed questions about just what Jim was doing for the last month and why. Jim doesn't want to have that conversation when he's lying on his back and defenseless.
He watches the fluid dripping steadily into his arm from the translucent bag hung above his head and tries to ignore the anxious clenching in his gut as they begin their descent. He should have known that his brilliant (desperate) plan to get away from Riverside couldn't end well.
But at the time, it was the only thing he could think of. And he knows one thing: running away from a threat buys you time to make a plan.
To his surprise, the Academy's turned out to be a pretty good fit for him, until a month ago anyway. A small, embarrassing part of him still wants to follow the rules and keep his head down, which is a plus as far as his instructors are concerned. His courses are easy and he likes the physical challenges.
And deep down, he's hoping to impress Captain Pike. (He's still a sucker for that toxic blend of arrogance and self-importance, mixed with high expectations and a fatherly disappointment that Jim isn't measuring up.)
He doesn't make many friends. He's not sure how. He keeps to himself, doesn't whine or complain, and tries to help out the other cadets when he can. But he's relied on himself for so long that camaraderie doesn't come naturally to him.
Bones, the doctor he met on the shuttle, is the one exception, mostly because he's got his own trust issues and his own reasons for running away to enlist. Bones is still reeling from his divorce, and doesn't seem to notice or mind that Jim never really tells him much about his past. They get together occasionally for a drink on Saturday nights. Jim tells him funny stories about plebe year and his roommates and the grueling mountain-to-coast march. Bones seems entertained, and doesn't look too closely at what Jim's not telling him.
Miraculously, his special collection of thirteen antique books doesn't grow all year. Gradually, slowly, he lets down his guard. Maybe Kodos can't find him at the Academy. Maybe he's dead. Or he's given up his sick little mentoring project and has decided to let Jim alone to live his life.
(Or maybe Jim's a naive idiot.)
The first sign that everything is about to fall apart comes at the beginning of June, when Jim receives the notification of his summer placement. There are dozens of options, based on the cadets' skill sets, academic performance, and career trajectory. Jim's been fervently hoping for something off-world, maybe on a Starbase or on one of those new Constitution-class starships, but when he opens the message and sees his assignment, his breath catches and he can feel his heart begin to race.
"Oh hell no! Fuck this!"
Bones, sitting across from him in the cafeteria, gives him a sharp glance, his sandwich halfway to his mouth. "Keep your voice down," he says, and Jim rolls his eyes in frustration. "Let me see that."
He grabs Jim's comm out of his hands and reads the message on the screen.
Summer Placement, Academy Summer Session:
Kirk, James T., Cadet Fourth Class
Location: Riverside Shipyards, Riverside, Iowa
Assignment: supplemental technical crew on the U.S.S. Enterprise
Jim waits for Bones to get it - it's Riverside, for God's sake - but Bones just shrugs.
"Technical crew? Not seeing the problem. Okay, maybe it's not the most exciting assignment, but Riverside's the biggest shipyard on the continent, isn't it? And didn't you say you wanted a placement on a starship? You'll get a chance to work on the flagship. You're minoring in engineering, aren't you? Sounds like a good experience to me."
Jim's beginning to think he should have invested a little more in the getting-to-know-you stage of their friendship. Maybe now's not the right time to tell him that he's considered the local fuck-up and has a stream of misdemeanors on his police record.
"You're missing the point," he tries. "I wanted to be on a starship in space. This is in Riverside fucking Iowa!"
"I know where it is. So what?" Bones is looking at him inquisitively, his head tilted to one side. Jim's seen that look before. Bones can be scary observant, and he has diagnostic skills that Jim's been careful to deflect from himself until now.
He looks away, trying to collect himself, and takes a deep breath. The first rule of lying is to tell a partial truth. "Look, it's not exactly home sweet home, okay?" He can't keep the bitterness from his tone. "There's nothing for me back there."
"It's just for a summer. What's the big deal? You'll be on the base most of the time."
Bones is making sense, which pisses him off. He stabs a fork into his mashed potatoes, then drops it down on the plate in disgust. "Half of Riverside works at the base. No, Pike can just find me an alternate placement, because I am not going back there."
"Why not, Jim?" Bones looks sincerely perplexed. "I get it, you might run into some of your old neighbors and teachers who don't exactly remember you as a local hero. But you've been away for a year. You're a Starfleet cadet, and to hell with anybody who can't accept that."
Jim just scowls and shakes his head. "You don't understand." He knows he sounds whiny and immature, and Bones is clearly losing patience with him. But there's no way he can really explain the rest of it.
Bones rolls his eyes at Jim's dark scowl. "Maybe it's time to get over yourself, kid, and grow up, and don't get pissy with me when I'm trying to help you! Look, I'm heading to Baltimore for the summer. Eight weeks at Johns Hopkins for an internship in thoracic and vascular microsurgery. I'm not planning on spending my days sightseeing. I've got work to do, and so do you."
Jim can only shake his head. "It's not the same."
Bones sighs. "Don't you have any people there, Jim? Some relatives?"
"No, my mom hasn't been there in years. She's out on the Nautilus on a three-year mission."
Bones leans back in his chair. "Look on the bright side," he says lightly. "You'll be able to show the others the best bars and pubs in Riverside. I'm sure you've been in them all."
Jim grunts, but his lips twitch. "There are only three, and I've spilled blood in all of them. I'm banned for life from the Catch-22 in River Junction."
"I don't even want to know why."
In the end, Jim lets it go. (Keep your head down and don't make waves, he scolds himself.) He doesn't want to have to explain to Bones or anyone else what the real problem is: that he's desperate to get into space, where Kodos (hopefully) won't be able to follow him.
He knows he's being irrational. Kodos, if it is Kodos, hasn't sent him a book or given a sign of life for over a year. And Bones is right: Riverside Shipyards is a good placement. Some of his classmates would kill to get that kind of hands-on experience and firsthand knowledge of how a starship's put together.
But he can't shake the feeling that he's vulnerable, stalked by a madman bent on revenge who's lying low, biding his time. In the back of his head, there's a steady, low thrum of get away get away get away which is propelling him on a life course that's as far from earth as he can get.
Jim can't tell Bones any of this. Bones has no idea Jim was on Tarsus and Jim doesn't want to risk the one (almost not quite) friendship that he has by telling him that story. Bones would never look at him the same.
And Jim can't stand the thought of asking Captain Pike for preferential treatment. For a reassignment out of pity. Pike's read his record, as he was only too happy to share with Jim when he recruited him. No need to dredge the past up again.
So Jim sucks it up and heads off to Riverside, Iowa for the summer.
Riverside is exactly as bad as he thought it would be.
On his second day on base, as he's heading toward the mess with some of the other cadets, he hears a security guard call out, slow and taunting, "Well, well, well, what a surprise! The prodigal son returns."
He knows that voice.
He hunches his shoulders and tries to ignore it, but the man lets out a sharp whistle, catching the attention of the rest of the cadets. They look over at the guard, a well-built, middle-aged man with a huge grin on his face. Some of them throw uncertain glances in Jim's direction.
"Jim Kirk!" he crows. "Is that you in the red uniform?"
Damn it.
When Jim still doesn't respond, he takes a step closer to the group. "Hey, I see you there, cadet, don't pretend you don't hear me."
Jim turns to face him. Great. The gods of fate couldn't give him two whole days of quiet before shitting on his summer placement.
Ed Wallace was Jim's probation officer when he was nineteen. From the look of him, he's thickened a bit over the years, but he still has the same arrogant stance, the same mocking half-smile that implies both amusement and contempt. He's wearing the dark blue uniform of the civilian security firm that contracts with Starfleet to patrol the construction site on base.
Jim straightens up and meets his eyes. He and Wallace didn't exactly develop a good relationship; Jim remembers him as being a hard-headed asshole who was more interested in putting Jim in his place than helping him. He enjoyed stopping by at the garage where Jim was working, insisting on conducting humiliating on-the-spot drug tests and interviewing his boss and co-workers about Jim's behavior—or, as he usually referred to him, "the offender." Jim vaguely recalls hacking into Wallace's home security system as a parting gift, rerouting his personal mail—with a few embellishments of his own design—into the Riverside Community Newsletter.
Wallace is smiling now, though, with a malevolent grin. "Never thought I'd see you again, Kirk. Thought for sure you'd end up doing serious time in a supermax."
Jim fights to keep his expression neutral, uncomfortably aware of the furious whispers of his classmates just a few steps away. He knows his cheeks are flushing red.
"Yeah, been a long time… See you around, Ed." Jim gives a noncommittal nod and turns away.
"Not so fast, Kirk!" the man booms out, in a jovial tone that is obviously false. "You gotta fill me in! Never heard you enlisted in Starfleet."
"That's because it's none of your damn business," Jim hisses. Wallace isn't his superior officer, but if there's a line dividing acceptable and unacceptable behavior from cadets, Jim's walking on the wrong side of it.
"Still got that temper, I see. I'm surprised they were willing to ignore your criminal record," Wallace says pointedly and just loudly enough that the snickering cadets can hear. "How'd you manage that?"
"Shut the fuck up, Ed, I've got nothing to say to you," he manages, turning back toward the mess hall with Wallace's laughter ringing in his ears, juxtaposed with the awkward silence of his classmates.
Later, Jim sends off a text message to Bones. Fun times. Saw one of my old neighbors here on base. He nearly fell down laughing when he saw me in a cadet uniform. So much for nostalgia.
By the end of that first week, the string of misdemeanors he committed in his late teens was a matter of common knowledge among his classmates. He pretends to be amused by their jibes—"Hey, Joyride, think you can round us up a lift into town tonight?"—and tries to ignore the knowing looks, but it's hard. He can tell that their attitude toward him has changed. He's no longer one of them. They're less open, more cautious around him, as if he's acquired a dangerous reputation that might be contagious.
Screw them all. So what? The truth is that he is dangerous. He's different: he's survived things these Academy grunts couldn't even imagine. He throws himself into his work, where his math abilities give him an advantage and he can find innovative solutions to problems. He's always been good at that, even on Tarsus.
Not that it did him (or Tommy) much good.
On their first off-duty evening, he goes with the other cadets into town to the Buffalo Bill Bar and Grill, where he fully intends to lay low with some good alcohol and a plate of chicken wings. But he's recognized there, too, this time by the bartender. Her name is Deana, he remembers belatedly, and she has a saucy smile and a sharp tongue which she proceeds to slice him with when he tries to put in his order. He can barely recall spending time with her, but she isn't pleased to see him, to put it mildly.
He leaves after one drink. "What's the matter, Kirk, got a curfew?" he hears someone say as he passes, to general laughter. He smirks, but his cheeks are burning.
After that he stays on base, keeping his head down, trying to focus on his assigned tasks, staying clear of Wallace. He's on edge, not functioning at his best, but handling it for the most part. Bones is right; who says he has to go off base? By the two-week mark he's settled into a tense routine, spending most of his free time at the gym to work off the frustration.
Bones tries to comm him a few times, but he avoids the calls, sending him a brief apology afterwards about how their off-duty schedules never seemed to coincide. If they talk, Bones will know right away that something is off. Jim records brief messages, but mostly keeps to texting, keeping it light. Bones has a sharp ear, attuned to the nuances of his tone. Written words are easier to hide behind.
Working on the warp core installation, he sends. Got second degree burns on both hands.
Dammit, Jim, Bones texts back. Haven't you ever heard of safety gloves?
I was wearing safety gloves, Mom. They melted.
Despite everything, he loves working on the starship, helping install the top-of-the-line technology and familiarizing himself with the systems. So what if he's lonely? It is what it is. Just two months, and he can tough it out.
After a month, he gets a notification that a package is waiting for him at the base distribution center. Jim's fairly sure it's from Bones - heavy duty safety gloves, he guesses - since it's got an internal delivery address through the Academy system.
His heart nearly skids to a stop when he sees the package. It's heavy and bulky, clearly a book. The sender is listed as Douglas Hofstadter, not a name Jim's familiar with.
The book is called Gödel, Escher, Bach: an Eternal Golden Braid. Douglas Hofstadter, it turns out, is the name of the author. Jim flips through the tome. It's long, 776 pages, a first edition printed in 1979.
He opens to the inside cover, hands shaking. The inscription is handwritten.
The "Strange Loop" phenomenon occurs whenever, by moving upwards (or downwards) through the levels of some hierarchical system, we unexpectedly find ourselves right back where we started.
-Douglas Hofstadter
No.
Jim feels light-headed. There's no denying the message. The "hierarchical system" is unmistakably a reference to Starfleet.
The meaning is clear. No matter how far he runs, he'll always loop back to the start. To Tarsus. To Kodos.
It takes five days of discussions with his on-base commander in Riverside—and a brief, awkward meeting with Captain Pike via comm link—before his application for a transfer is approved. It's not hard to come up with believable grounds for the request; Jim's townie reputation is all over the base. Pike is surprisingly sympathetic.
While he's waiting for his reassignment, he starts reading the book. It doesn't really occur to him to get rid of it. He's always read everything Kodos sends him, looking for hidden messages, for some kind of clue as to what Kodos wants from him. His mind is full of extended quotes from Macchiavelli's The Prince, Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged, Sun Tzu's The Art of War and even Freud's Civilization and Its Discontents. He hates that his mind is being warped and corrupted, pushed in directions he'd never have chosen on his own. But he can't help obsessing over each new addition to the collection.
Gödel, Escher, Bach is weirdly intriguing. Jim skims through it. It seems to be about the interconnectedness of Gödel's Incompleteness Theorem (Is that a clue? Is there something incomplete between them?), Bach fugues, Lewis Carroll and RNA sequencing. There's a lot of talk about self-referentialism, truth vs. provability, formal and informal systems. It's just the kind of book Jim could happily immerse himself in, if he wasn't in panic mode trying to divine meaning out of an ancient book.
Jim sends a final message to Bones (Doing a lot of extra shifts. Sleep schedule's shot to hell. Don't worry if you don't hear much from me for a while.) and leaves Riverside in a no-frills cargo shuttle, heaving a sigh of relief as he straps himself in for the ride. He feels pretty shitty lying to Bones, but it's all he can do to hold himself together at this point.
He can't go off-planet, but he's going about as far away from Riverside as Starfleet will allow.