Depths of Despair

Part 4

By TalosLives & CrackedInkWell

Based on EMositeCC's AngelAUSeries

In every direction, shadows swallowed up the penthouse. Even though holy candles were lit, the space had descended into an inky void, making their circle their only island of light. Inside the circle, Kristian stood in the center as both angles and cherubs scrambled to form a ring around her, linking hands. Blitzo linked hands with Millie and Collin, Collin with Kennie, Kennie with Cletus, Cletus with Moxxie, Moxxie with Millie, and Millie with Blitzo.

"No matter what you see, no matter what you hear," Cletus instructed, taking hold of Kennie and Moxxie's hands, "Don't let go. No matter what, do not let go."

All of them faced inwards, all eyes on Kristian , who looked around this way and that. "What's happening?"

"Kristian , listen to us, okay?" Collin told her, "As long as you're in the circle, you won't be harmed."

A chill ran down Kristian 's spine. And it wasn't her imagination; she could see the air getting colder on everyone's breath. "What do we do now?"

"This is where you'll have to be brave here." Blitzo said, "You'll have to banish him."

" WHAT!? " Kristian couldn't believe her ears. "HOW?! There's a fucking demon in here! I can't just banish him!"

"Yes, you can," Millie chimed in. "No matter what happens, you just need to reject him."

"I like to see you try… " This time, the voice they heard wasn't coming from their heads. A voice from the darkness that was as quiet as a whisper and cold as the abyss.

Kristian 's knees buckled. "Oh God… It's the voice…"

"Where are you?!" Blitzo demanded. "Show yourself!"

Kennie saw something move in the darkness. Something thin and scaly that slinked about like a serpent. "Moxxie, it's behind-"

BANG!

Everyone jumped when they heard something collide overhead. Thanks to the circle, it created a protective bubble from Motophagus. Kristian was too terrified to scream and instead fell over backward. And yet, no one let go.

In the darkness, Motophagus's upper body was in a business suit with the face of an angular fish, grinning with needle-like teeth and big bulbous eyes. Its webbed arms had claws at the end of them that stretched the barrier. The lower half, however, was unnaturally long. Its torso seemed to swim in the air, moving about like underwater. And in the light of the candles, it coiled around in nearly every direction.

Motophagus grinned at the sight of Kristian, even licking at the barrier. " Little Kristy, little Kristy, let me in. "

"Okay, that is terrifying." Moxxie instinctively stepped back, but the hands of his friends still held him in place.

"C'mon." Cletius looked over to Kennie and Collin. "We have to start now."

The Cherubs closed their eyes, and as one, they began to recite Psalm 23, where H.O.P.E. joined in.

" The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me lie down in green pastures; he leadeth me beside still waters. He restoreth my soul…"

All around, there was the sound of laughter. Mocking laughter of a million voices circled them. Kristian saw that the serpent-like torso sprouted eyes like a Lovecraftian monster. " It's cute thinking all of this could do anything. "

" He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake."

Motophagus circled about the barrier. " Besides, what are you planning to do? Get rid of me?" He chuckled the way a mad ghost might sound. " It won't do anything. Nothing. "

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. "

" Even if you did… What will become of you? "

Kristian backed away, but she felt Blitzo and Millie's hands on her shoulder as they continued.

" Would you like to see what you will be like a week from now? "

As he uncoiled away from the barrier, light penetrated through the darkness. Out from the void, Kristian looked to the sky to see rain clouds overhead. Drizzling a downpour from above. She tilted her head down to see they were transported to an alley. A trashy, filthy brick alley where everything is dripping wet and muddy. But that wasn't what captured Kristian 's attention. In front of her was a cardboard box soaked in the rain. Although she didn't see the face, she knew it was her. From the clothes that had been reduced to rags, she recognized them. Unmoving. The hands are filthy and pale. And in front of this box, in a metal trash lid, were the remains of her burned violin.

" Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies, thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over."

" You know they'll abandon you, " Motophagus said. " Once they're satisfied with their prayers and good wishes, they'll leave. Leave you with the debt. Leave you without a roof over your head. Leave you without food. Leave you to die like this while they pat themselves on the back. "

" Surely, goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. "

Kristian was shaking. Between the demon and the psalm being spoken that mocked her ears, her instincts told her to flee. She tried to make a run for it out of the circle.

"Kristian , no!" Blitzo tried to move, actively blocking Kristian from leaving the circle. Yet, in the struggle, he didn't notice that Kristian 's foot had scraped a part of the salt barrier.

Motophagus grinned, " Got ya. "

What followed next was like being in a submarine when suddenly the door unexpectedly opened. From that small hole in the circle, a force rushed inside like icy water, almost knocking the angels and cherubs over.

"HANG ON!" Collin yelled. "DON'T LET GO!"

It was hard to see, like being caught in a sandstorm with shadows swarming around. And yet, despite all this, no one dared to let go. Kristian was pushed up against the cherubs that she clung to like a raft.

And then, the voices started to speak.

" B-Blitzy… Blitzy stop… "

Blitzo opened his eyes. In front of him was Stolas. Bloodied and bruised, his back against the tiled floor. He was choking, and to Blitzo's horror, his hands were gripping his neck. He couldn't move like his body was possessed; he had no control over what was happening. Worse yet, in front of his face was his Exorcist mask.

" Stop…" Stoles croaked for breath. Tears ran down his face, his hands trying to pry Blitzo's for air. "You're … hurting me ."

He wanted to let go. He wanted to scream. He wanted to - then, he noticed his hands were being pulled around Stolas's neck in odd directions. Then, he noticed movement from the corner of his eye. He looked over to the side to his right and saw that his arm, though ghostly as it was, still held onto Moxxie's hand. From his view, Mox was transparent, yet he could still see him with someone else there. An outline of an angel - female, by the looks of it, that seemed disappointed in him. To his left, Millie was still holding his hand. She, too, was see-through like Moxxie, but she had dozens upon dozens of figures that swarmed her like an angry mob.

" Blitzy… Please… "

Blitzo looked back at Stolas and realized that as afraid as he was, this wasn't real. Yes, deep down, he had been afraid he might snap and do something like this to Stolas. Realizing that this is Motophagus trying to trick him into letting go only made him angry.

"Get the fuck out of my head!" Blitzo craned his neck back and head-butt the fake Stolas as hard as he could. As much as it hurt, it gave him clarity as Motophagus was sent flying. The next thing everyone knew, the illusion stopped. Suddenly, the nightmares ceased, and the inky black void was removed to show the penthouse. Kristian , thankfully, was still within their circle.

Although shaken and most on the edge of tears, everyone still held hands. With Motophagus knocked out of the way, Cletus told everyone, "Hurry, start the miracles while we still can!"

Nodding, the six of them bowed their heads. Prayer-like, H.O.P.E., and C.H.E.R.U.B. chanted out separate but important miracles. Even Kristian , as disoriented as she was, felt goosebumps on her skin at something so otherworldly. In the darkness, they began to glow and flicker like candles, chanting out two different melodies that made a perfect counterpoint to the other. Although Kristian didn't understand a word of what they were singing, there was something about it that brought calm to the eye of this spiritual storm.

" Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi: dona eis requiem."

" Libera me, Domine, a tenebris desperationis. Admone me obliti gaudia. "

" Oh no, you fucking don't! " Motophagus rushed back inside the circle. Unleashing the kind of darkness that only the deepest pits of Hell could upon a mortal.

Kristian was kneeling, hands over her head, as visions and memories swirled like a hurricane. For every anxiety and doubt, there was confidence. For every rejection she could recall, there was acceptance from the ones that mattered. For every moment of isolation when death seems like a welcoming friend, Margret kept her grounded. It was so overwhelming. Caught between crushing dread and uplifting hope, she was being wrestled over by both angelic and demonic forces.

Then, among the raging storm of emotions, the unexpected happened.

A phone rang.

Moxxie opened his eyes. It was coming from Blitzo's pocket. "Answer it." He told her.

"What?" Kristian looked up, tears in her eyes, shaking.

"Get the phone out of Biltz's pocket and answer it. Just reach in. We can't break the circle."

Kristian was taken aback that someone had decided to call during this chaotic maelstrom of a ritual where her soul was being fought for over her head. Still, she reached into Blitz's pocket, where the ringing was coming from, to pull the phone out. On the screen was a picture of Loona. It was only then that she realized that she hadn't been around since this ritual began.

She answered it. "Hello?"

" Kristian ? Oh, thank God. "

She almost dropped the phone when she heard the voice. Margret. There was no question about it. Her best friend, who had just died hours before, was calling her.

"Margret?"

" Hey there, " Loona's voice spoke from the other side. "You're on speaker here. So anyway, it took a while, but I finally got a hold of a few people who really want to talk to you right now. Here. "

" Kristian ? " She couldn't believe it. Although it had been years, she still recognized her mother's voice. " Kristian , are you there? " Just hearing her after so long moved her to tears.

"Y-Yeah, I'm here." She sniffed. "Is dad there too?"

" Hey, Kristy ." Her father said.

It hit Kristian how incredible this all was. Ever since things turned on her, she was convinced that those she had known and loved were gone forever. And yet, at her lowest point in her life, when all the weirdest shit was flying around her - three of the most important people in her life were calling beyond the grave.

" I uh… I've heard you're not doing well. "

Kristian sniffled, wiping the tears from her eyes while the angels and cherubs continued to chant over her. "N-No… Not really."

" Loona told us what was happening. " Her mother said. " She told us about what happened to you after we… you know. How much you've been struggling. How much you've been hurting. "

"Yeah… Yeah, it's…" Kristian wasn't sure what to say. Even after all these years of wishing that she would talk with her parents again, she wasn't entirely sure where to begin. "God, mom… I'm such a fucking failure."

" No, no no, Kristian ! " Her father interjected. "We're not disappointed ."

"Why?" She croaked.

" Because I told them about you being a violinist, " Margret said. " Even after all those auditions had turned you down - and yeah, you're right, they're all idiots - you still practiced and played such breathtaking music. You've always had a dream of using your talent for something good. And you know what? We're still rooting for ya. "

"But-"

" Look, life is hard." Her mother interrupted. " That's a given for anyone. But it's not an excuse to give up just because it's hard. Kristian … Life isn't wishing on a star and hoping that things will turn out for it someday. Because the world is full of people who will tell you no. If you want your dreams to come true, you must stand your ground and fight for them. Of course, it's scary, and you know what, it's okay to be. The choice you have is that you can obey what your fear tells you to do, or you can take a stand. You may be scared, but you don't back away."

"Your mom's right, " Margret added. " I know you got a bad hand in life, but these things happen to you, guess what? You don't deserve it. I believe you can still do it. Even with all that's going on, I believe in you. So do your mom and dad. And so do those angles with you right now. They wouldn't be doing this if they didn't think you're worth it."

"That's enough! " Motophangus finally reached down to yank the phone and toss it away. " How about I make things easier for you? "

To everyone's horror, Motophangus picked Kristian up and took her away from the circle. Carrying her over towards the sunroom.

" Kristian ! " everyone screamed. They all rushed towards her, but Motophangus slammed the door shut, locking them in.

"Let me go!" Kristian screamed, kicking and trying to fight the demon off.

" Oh, stop being so damn stupid, you bitch. " Motophangus hissed. " All this 'I love you' crap isn't going to change the fact that come morning, you'll be kicked out, remember? Have you forgotten that you still don't have a job? Have an enormous debt to pay. No friends. No family. No fucking hope! So here, let me make things easier for ya. "

Over to the glass windows, she opened the door that led to the balcony, dragging Kristan along. " All the talent in the world isn't going to change the fact that you have no audience. You have no one. Those goodie-two-shoes angles, once they give their rubber stamp that you're cured or whatever, they'll leave. Angles always leave. And you have nothing to look forward to other than dying in an alley somewhere, your body being given the name Jane Doe. But… There's an easier way. " He gestured a claw-like hand towards the streets.

Kristian , as scared as she was, stepped closer to the edge. She was several stories above the city without anyone taking notice of her.

" Go ahead. Jump. You know it's the best choice you have. It's what you deserve. "

Kristian paused. She stared down at the street below, but she didn't move. "What did you say?"

"It'll be a quick and-"

"No, before that. What did you say?"

" Uh… " Motophagus blinked. " You deserve it. "

There was a long, tense moment as Kristian stared out at the Chicago skyline. It was a long moment when she realized that the angels and cherubs weren't banging on the door. It was a long moment to realize… "No, " she said, taking a step back.

Motophangus curled around her. " Excuse you? "

"I said no. It's funny… With the bad day I had with you and the angels, and now getting the call from my parents and best friend… It only took me to realize what everyone was trying to say to me. You may be scary, but I think I figured you out."

" What are you talking about? " Motophangus narrowed his gaze at her.

"Ya know, I think you have been punishing me since the day my parents died. For a long time, I thought I deserved it. And I had been accepting of that. It only took me till now to realize that I'm being punished because I agreed to be punished. And if I disagree… You have no power."

Motophangus got in her face. " Satan, you're so fucking stupid! "

"Oh yeah?" Kristian turned around and rested her back against the railing. "Then push me. Right now. Just push over."

" Oh, you little… " In his moment of anger, Motophangus reached out to shove her off the building. But… She stood firm like a rock. " Huh? " He looked. Kristian folded her arms, a glare that dared him to try again. And he did, again and again. But no matter how much he wanted to push her, he found she wouldn't budge.

" Well… SO WHAT!? " Motophangus spat, "You're still alone. You won't make a difference to anyone. "

It was then that Kristian heard something. She heard a distant sound over the city's sounds of cars and people walking. She could barely hear it from being so high up. Looking over the side, she spotted something. On a street corner, someone was playing a violin. She could barely make it out, but this person seemed very poor and had a violin case open, begging for money.

"Oh yeah?"

" Yeah, you won't make- " She shoved him out of the way. " HEY! Where do you think you're going!? "

Kristian stormed back into the sunroom, unlocked the door, walked past the concerned angles, and headed straight towards the violin resting on the dining room table. She took it, the bow and the shoulder rest, and headed towards the front door.

"Uh…" Millie blinked. "What just happened?"

" HEY! " a furious Motophagus shouted, shoving the angels and cherubs aside. He wiggled through the air, pushing past the front door and to the elevator where Kristian was waiting. " Where are you going? You need me! "

"Need you?" Kristian looked up, "You know, ever since the day you came into my life, you told me that I was a piece of shit, that I wouldn't amount to anything, that I had no talent, that I don't matter, not to mention that you convinced me that I was crazy. You went out of your way to make my life a living Hell. So no, I don't need you - you needed me." The elevator opened, and she quickly stepped in but blocked Motophagus. "I'm only going to say this once. I don't need you. I never had. I want you out of my life. Maybe I end up homeless and won't be remembered, but I'm going out there to try to make a difference for at least one person tonight. And that's more than you could ever do. I want to live! And I want to keep on living without you! Now get the fuck out of my life!"

Kristian slammed her hand on the button to close the doors, taking her to the main floor.

" No! " Motophagus slammed his fists. " No! No! " Enraged, the demon looked over to see the H.O.P.E., weapons were drawn. Since he had lost his investment, Motophagus phased through the large windows, screaming in rage through the night.

" SATAN FUCKING DAMMNIT! " He barrelled out towards the lake.

"Sir," Moxxie asked Blitzo, "Should we go after him?"

Blitzo shook his head, putting his gun away. "No need. By the sound of it, he just lost his investment."

"What about Kristian ?" Keenie asked, "Where is she going?"

Down on the ground floor, Kristian got off the elevator to walk out of the building. Walking out of the lobby and into the street, she heard the sound of the musician. Over the sound of cars and chattering people, the unmistakable sound of Bach's Chaconne floated like a mist. She walked towards the sound, crossing the street to find the source. An old man in baggy, torn clothes had an open coffin case with a few dollars in it.

The old man looked up, and he stopped playing. "Can I help you?" he asked.

"No, but…" Kristian hesitated, but she had to do something after all she had been through. "Well… My name's Kristian."

"Johhan," he nodded.

"Nice to meet you… I heard you from up there. You're quite good. So what are you doing out here?"

"I lost my job." He explained. "On top of that, I was evicted a week ago. I have nothing except the clothes on my back and this violin."

"Seems like we're in the same boat, actually. I'm going to be evicted tomorrow. That, and my best friend died today."

"Oh my… I'm really sorry to hear that, miss."

Kristian nodded, but then she put the shoulder rest on her violin. "Look, I know I've been having a terrible day. But just this once, I want to help someone out."

"Well, I don't know, there's not a lot of people giving."

"I was thinking, if we could play together, maybe it could make a difference." She put the violin over her chin. After ensuring it was tuned, she asked, "Can you play Bach?"

"He's my favorite," the old man chuckled. "I know a lot of his violin stuff by heart."

"Do you know his double violin concerto?"

He smiled, "Like Twinkle-Twinkle Little Star."

"Okay." Kristian bowed, "I'll take the second part if you take the first."

"Sounds good to me. And a one, two, three, four."

And the two began to play. Although penniless and out in the street, they played as though they were in a concert hall with all of Chicago as their audience. Kristian and the old man wove melodies of their struggles and resilience in such a way that would have made the composer proud. Pedestrians never expected to hear something this passionate, this masterful at a street corner. Not only were people giving them more money, but they also stood to listen. Those who weren't in a hurry paused to listen to them as they played all three movements. By the time they played the final notes, they received applause that lasted a solid minute before they dispersed.

Some bills were thrown in at the last minute in the violin case, almost filling the case to the brim. Kristian looked down at the money and gently moved it towards him with her foot. "Here. Take it."

"But, don't you want a share?" He asked. "You played beautifully."

She shook her head. "I think I'll get by. You need all this more than I do."

"Oh, if you say so. Well, God bless you."

Kristian was about to leave when someone called out. "Wait! Both of you! Hold on!"

They turned to see a bald-headed person with a suit rush up to them and hold his hand out to tell them to give him a minute. He took a few deep breaths and stood tall. "Sorry, but once I heard that… My name is Jonathan Matthews. I work as an entertainment consultant at the Blue Sky Symphony House. That was… That was amazing. Are you two currently employed?"

The two looked at each other before turning to the man and shook their heads. "N-No, I lost my job, sir."

"And I've been looking for one," Kristian said.

"Well, consider yourselves now open for one," he said as he handed them both a card. "Can you come to this location tomorrow afternoon? 1 PM? I swear my bosses are going to love you."

"Y-Y-You mean an audition, really?!" Kristian asked in disbelief while the man beside her was shocked.

"Yes! I think you two would make great additions to our group!" he said excitedly.

"I… I will be there," She said with a big smile.

"Me too," Johhan said with relief as the man thanked them and promised to see them tomorrow. He chuckled and turned to Kristian. "I guess God was looking after us tonight, huh?"

Kristian slowly turned to her apartment window and saw familiar angels waving their hands with big smiles.

"You have no idea."

***One Month Later***

"It's been a month since I got my new job. Things have been slow, but they've improved a lot," Kristian said to the self-help group she was a part of now. "My roommate and I have found a good apartment that we can share, thanks to being co-workers. I've just gotten my first paycheck and used it to start paying some bills while saving. I'm still depressed on some days, but I've been able to find comfort in the care of my co-workers, the music I've started to write, and the church I've started going to."

"That's great to hear, Krisitan," the group leader said as she wrote into her notepad. Do you have a better view of the future now that you're taking your first steps?"

Kristian paused for a moment before sighing. "Maybe it's best not to think that for the moment. When I was… in a worse state… all I could think about was the future. How bleak it looked. But I've realized that I need to focus on the present first. Make things stable and happy before I think about what comes next. And while I still have a long way to go, I have hope now. Hope that I can make things good."

"Thank you, Krisitan. That's enough for today. Same time next week, everyone?"

Kristian got up and got her bag before checking her cell phone. Her co-workers asked if she wanted to join them for a fun music session, and she responded yes. She was about to leave when she looked out the window and spotted a familiar wing that had just been there. She tilted her head and wondered if it was one of the angels from last month. Smiling, she just shook her head and figured they were probably on duty and better to leave them be.

Blitzo and Moxxie were at the former's desk waiting until a portal opened, and Millie flew inside with a smile. "She's still doing good, Boss. I reckon that Kristian is going to be okay going forward."

"That's great to hear," Blitzo said as he sent Margaret the confirmation email that her friend was okay. "We'll check on her next week to see how she's doing, along with the others on our list."

"Any word from the Celestial Special Intelligence Agency on Motophagus?" Moxxie asked. "We haven't seen him since Kristian told him to take off."

"No, but I doubt he'll go after her again. It's out of our hands now that the C.S.I.A. knows he exists. They'll hunt him down on their own time," Blitzo said as he shut his computer off. "Well, that was the last thing we needed to do today. Quitting time."

"Yes! Come on, Moxxie. Let's try out that new steakhouse down the street!" Millie said in excitement as she left the room.

Moxxie was about to leave when he turned to Blitzo. "Want to join us, Sir?"

"I got something I gotta do after I close up. Maybe next time. See you tomorrow, Mox," Blitzo said as he waved goodbye before taking out one of his cell phones.

"Hey, Stolas? Yeah, I'm off work. Tell Charlie I'll be right over."

If you were to ask Blitzo who the kindest and sweetest non-angelic person in the entire universe was, you would be gobsmacked to learn that he would say Princess Charlotte Morning Star, aka Charlie, aka The Devil's Daughter, aka the potential Anti-Christ. Which she utterly rejected and wanted nothing to do with it despite her parents' attempts to turn her into their ultimate weapon against humanity.

Of all the beings in the burning Hells, none was more different than Charlie. She was not only kind and sweet (even if she had the power to BBQ your ass six degrees hotter than the sun), but she loved humanity. Unlike Lucifer and Lilith, who despised them and tried to damn them, Charlie grew to love God's greatest creation and was very protective of them. She also was one of the few who believed that demons and sinners could be redeemed again. A means to try and stop the Exterminations. Be it a demon, human, or angel, Charlie hated to see people suffering, and she did everything in her power to protect those who sought her protection or were under her friendship.

Needless to say, this caused many issues, especially with her parents. It was only by whatever love they had for her that she hadn't been disowned, even when she started her Hazbin Hotel program. A means to try and get sinners and demons redeemed to argue that the Exterminations didn't need to happen or the agreement could be adjusted.

Although it was still new and had no success, some had faith or were desperate enough to believe in it. Or, most likely just wanted the protection. Any demon that was a hotel member was protected from any deeds they did so long as it wasn't too serious. It also helps that the Radio Demon Overlord, Alastor, was a patron of the hotel (For his own amusement, if nothing else), and nobody wanted to fuck with him. Not even the Three V's.

"You can put the cases here," Charlie said as she guided an Imp Disguised Blitzo through the halls and into a storage room. "Thanks for helping out, Blitz."

"No problem," Blitzo said, placing his holdings down and dusting his hands. "How many Bibles did you need again?"

"Just another dozen. It's a good thing I got you to bring them here. I can't figure out any other way to do so, even if it's to smuggle them in." Charlie said with a shrug. "I'm happy Stolas got me in contact with you. I was about to go in blind with all this until you told me the real redemption steps that Heaven is looking for."

"Yeah, well," Blitzo sighed as he rubbed his arm. "I'm paying back a debt. You helped open my eyes to the truth and all..."

Charlie smiled warmly as she put a hand on his shoulder. "Who would have thought that the Exterminator I fought that day to protect that family would become one of my best allies for my dream?"

Blitzo smiled back before putting a hand on her shoulder. "Well, God works in mysterious ways."

"I guess he does," Charlie giggled as she then gasped. "Oh, I have to show you the best cookie recipe that Niffty made! And don't worry, this one doesn't have blood in it."

"I hope not," Blitzo chuckled as he followed the Princess out the door. Because this wasn't just a redemption for others.

It was also redemption for himself.