Legal Disclaimer: I own my stuff, but not the original source material. That belongs to whoever. Also, the opinions and interpretations I use here may not reflect the same in said whoever that owns the source material. Look, I'm just a poor college librarian. Suing me isn't going to get you anything but tears.

Warning: This work may be offensive to some readers. There's also references to canon-typical mind control & deception. Feel free to back out if need be. Also, feel free to check the FAQs on my FFN profile before leaving reviews about anything you dislike (including characterization or length).

Author's Note: Okay, but Peter totally would get a very brightly colored thing just to fuck with Derek. Also, I'm with Peter on Deaton not being trustworthy.

Submitting Info:
Stacked with: Hogwarts 2.0 (T05); RAVEN (2025); MC4A (Wi-Yr7)
Individual Challenges: Delilah; Bucket Listing; Binger; Cinematic; Fuse Box; Outer Limit; Flashers; Rainbow Connection
Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw
Assignment: Term 05 - Assignment 04
Subject [Task (Prompt)] : Elemental Magic [Task#4 ALT (someone acidic with their words)]
Other Hogwarts Challenges: Library [PoA](werewolf); Frenzy [Sher#1](Detective AU); Center [124 - Shar](Sabotage); Pokemon [970 - Glimmora](Tangerine); Feb House [09 - FSM](Orange);
RAVEN Challenges: A [93](Venting); Traits [91](Upset); Colors [91](Tangerine); Items [100](Zucchini); Settings [52](Kitchen)
Other MC4A Challenges: Chim [Morwin](Protection; "Shadow" - Livingston); Hunt [Wi Con (Beef)]; Fire [Blurry Face]; Garden [Gnome Army (Plate); Pot Garden (Kitchen); Statuary (Table); Herbs (Dry); Fall Fires (Shared Meal)]; Hang [Phrase#01](n/a); Shop [GSRM (Aromantic)]; Swap [Bottoms (Black Dress Pants)]
Representation(s): Private Detectives Peter & Derek Hale; ABOverse; Alpha Peter & Beta Derek; Derek's A-Plus Romantic Past
Primary & Secondary Bonus Challenges: Misshapen Pods
Tertiary & Generic Bonus Challenges: SN (Rail; Negate); O3 (Oath); HoSE (n/a); AD (Archery); Share (Dragoman; Augur); DP (Terse; Yearn)
Space Address (Prompt): WiB 2E (Story/Tale); Vocab 2A (Zucchini)
Word Count: 755 words

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Two Detectives
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"Really?" Derek asked dryly. He slapped what looked like a wanted poster down on the desk of his business partner. He leaned over the wide wooden surface in an attempt to be intimidating, but Peter just rolled his eyes as he leaned back in his chair. (It was a bright tangerine orange that Derek absolutely loathed, which made tolerating the eyesore worth it.) Derek wasn't surprised. Peter was always fond of repeating that it was hard to feel threatened by someone he had seen in diapers. "What possessed you to think this was a good idea? Wait. Were you actually possessed?"

"Unlike some people in this office," Peter said, idly picking imaginary lint off of his black dress pants, "I actually run background checks on my potential paramours."

"How does that even relate?"

"I don't get in bed with anything that could turn me into a puppet." Peter spun his chair around in a full circle, greeting Derek with a rather toothy grin once they were face to face again. "By the way, how is Ms. Blake?"

"That's not fair," Derek whined, sounding more like a pup than a grown beta. Peter admitted to himself that the question was a low blow. The witch had enthralled him for the better part of three months just to make her ex-girlfriend jealous, which worked making her drop him in a very public explosion of humiliation. Jennifer Black had only been the latest in a long line of bad romantic decisions that always seem to manipulate Derek's mind or spirit. Peter raised an eyebrow at him. Derek's scowl deepened even as his bottom lip poked out just a bit. At least it covered his adorable bunny teeth.

"Life's not fair, my darling nephew," Peter returned. Suddenly feeling peckish, he shoved himself up from his chair and stalked across the office to the kitchenette. With careful precision, he began putting together a sandwich. The bread was marbled rye and pumpernickel, picked up earlier in the week from the bakery down the block from their office. Pulling the tupperware container of minced roast beef and zucchini, Peter gave it a sniff to verify if it was still edible before spooning it to one of the bread slices.

"Back to the actual topic," Derek continued. He picked up the poster and waved it in Peter's direction. "Why did you think it was a good idea to claim the Stilinski twins were wanted criminals? They'll go even deeper to ground!"

"Good."

"Good?! Deaton hired us to find them." Derek let out a quiet growl of frustration when Peter just popped the hot rod red lid back on the tupperware container instead of answering. "We don't get paid if we don't deliver them to Deaton."

"You understand my dilemma then?"

"That you suddenly and inexplicably have something against money?"

"My problem, dear nephew," Peter said snidely, "is entirely the client. I don't trust Deaton further than I can throw him, and possibly not even that far."

"But Deaton is Mom's emissary." Derek looked adorably confused. Peter sighed.

"We have different opinions on your mother's choices." Peter took a bite of his sandwich as he considered tainting the boy's opinion of Talia with some of the truths he knew. His sister was not the paragon of civility and wisdom that her children believed her to be. But it was not his job to rip the blinders from her children, not even as the pack's Left Hand. "But to focus specifically on Alan Deaton, he's a druid. He cannot be trusted. His only loyalty is to his perception of the Balance."

"So?"

"So?" Peter snapped back. "Why would a druid seek out any specific person? Especially two people who just barely turned eighteen?"

"Deaton said that he wants to reunite the twins with a childhood friend that works for him." Derek shrugged. "It's the kid that got bit by that rogue alpha before Mom and Laura put it down. McCall's having trouble adjusting to pack life. Maybe Deaton thinks that an unaffiliated friend might help."

"Maybe," Peter said with a tone that made it clear how much he didn't believe that. He threw his sandwich down on the plate before heading towards the door of their office. He just waved over his shoulder when Derek shouted his name. Maybe looking into the twins' past affiliations was the key to figuring out what the thrice-cursed druid really wanted with them.

And maybe if he wanted something done right, he would just have to do it himself.