Synopsis: You're back in Inazuma for the first time in ages to see Arataki Itto's rock n' roll concert. You stumble across Thoma who's desperate to see you and take care of you. Unfortunately, the reality of your traveling situation soon set in . . .

Theme(s): Angst, Comfort

Relationship: Friends (Mutual Pining)

Word Count: 4337

Enjoy! ;)

Longing For Life Together

You took one at the festival stage before you and beamed in approval. It had been ages since you'd been to Inazuma and almost forgotten how beautiful some of its islands could be. But seeing this stage really highlighted that perfectly. The decorations, the colours . . . And the atmosphere was, well . . . rockin'!

As you strolled round to take a look, admiring some of the instruments (that horn especially caught your eye), you spotted a few familiar faces around the corner of your eyes. Your ears picked up on a few voices as well, all murmuring about you,

"Is that Y/N?"

"It is, isn't it?"

"What's she doing here?"

"She hasn't been here in years!"

"Is she here for the festival?"

You just smiled and carried on with your own business. Honestly, you found it kind of charming with how curious the Inazuma folk were to see you here. Like they said, you hadn't been here for ages and just randomly popped up for a rock n' roll festival, which they probably weren't expecting . . . Hey, you couldn't help it if you had good taste in music!

"Y/N?" You heard an excitable gasp from behind your shoulder. "Y/N! Wow, it really is you?"

"Huh?" You knew that voice! You flicked around to see who it belonged to. And behind you, Yoimiya let out another big gasp and leapt up to give you a big hug that nearly took you both down.

"Ohhh Y/N!" she beamed. "Oh it's been so long! How have you been?" Before giving you a chance to even think of an answer, her already sparkling eyes lit up even more.

"I GOTTA get Thoma down here!"

Your ears pricked up. "Thoma's here?"

"Uh-huh! He's just around the corner! Hold on, I'll get him! He's gonna be so happy to see you!" And with that, Yoimiya bounced off, still the big ball of positive energy you remembered her to be. You couldn't help but smile as she disappeared around the corner. And then your face went blank when you heard her talking,

"Thoma, come here!"

"Sure! What is it?"

"It's a surprise!"

"A surprise? What kind of surprise?" That cheery but cracking voice was drawing nearer.

"You'll see! Trust me, you're gonna love it!"

You just stood there stiff, watching as Yoimiya reappeared around the corner, tugging Thoma's hand behind her, and oh Archons, you'd forgotten how handsome he was. His vacuum tight black shirt showed that he was still as fit as ever (especially around the pecs). And he came bringing with him his signature sunshine smile which only highlighted his golden hair and glistening green eyes . . .

Yoimiya stopped and pointed to you with a big beaming smile on her face. Thoma glanced up and spotted you. His eyes went wide. His smile dropped. His entire body went as stiff as yours.

"Y/N?"

He slid his hand out of Yoimiya's and took a slow timid step towards you. Then another . . . and another . . . before he sprinted right up to you and the two of you threw your arms around each other.

"Oh my gosh, Y/N!" Thoma's voice was muffled, he had his face buried into your hair, while he ran his hands up and down your body. You heaved a heavy sigh and returned the favour, your hands running circles along his back while you nuzzled your face off his chest.

"Thoma . . . It's been so long . . ."

You felt him nod in your hair and let out his own big sigh, his hot breath fanning down your face. "Too long . . ."

The two of you slowly slid away from each other, so you could look into each other's eyes a bit. Wow, you'd really forgotten just how gorgeous Thoma was, especially up close like this. And his body radiated so much warmth. You couldn't help yourself reaching out to give him another hug, which he happily returned.

"Here for the festival?" he asked softly.

"Yeah."

A soft warm chuckle hummed in your ear. "I'll have to thank the Arataki Gang then."

"Huh?" You pulled away just so you could glance up at him, your head cocked.

"I mean . . ." Thoma chuckled again, briefly glancing away from you. "If it weren't for this festival . . . who knows when I'd get to see you again?"

"Huh?"

Yoimiya smirked and strolled up to you, leaning in towards your ear. "He's complaining that you don't make time to see him anymore." She leaned in closer, her smirk growing as she whispered in a less than subtle voice,

"And he's been pining for you a lot."

"We-well I wouldn't call it "pining" exactly," Thoma said quickly, his cheeks tinting sakura pink. "Just more . . . wondering how you're doing out there, if you're doing okay, wondering if you're taking care of yourself . . ."

"Awww." You melted a little in his arms and gave him a big beaming smile. He really was so cute. And so caring too. You reached up and gave him a little boop! on the nose.

"I missed you too."

"Re- really?" Thoma's blush darkened a little. You let out a little giggle as you nodded.

"Really!"

"I see . . ."

Thoma's voice was hushed. He just stood there for a while, holding you tight in his arms, gazing . . . admirably into your eyes. Eventually, he took a deep breath and murmured,

"D- do you want to go somewhere after this? For a nice meal? Have you booked a place to stay?"

"Huh?" You lowered your eyebrows and laughed casually. "Not exactly . . . It's not like loads of people come down here. I was just gonna wander round, see if any inns are available-"

"Oh Thoma! You should have her stay at your place!"

Your eyes widened at Yoimiya's suggestion. Now you could feel your own little blush creeping up on your cheeks.

"Uhhh, Yoimiya, I'm not sure I should, uh . . ."

"No, I think it's a great idea!" Thoma butted in, his eyes lightening up at the idea. "You can come to my place and stay the night! I can take care of you, and you won't even have to pay any Mora!" He squeezed you in his arms, making your heart skip a beat.

"Listen, it's a lovely gesture, but . . ." Your head lowered as you felt your face getting hotter and hotter. "I- I wouldn't want to put you through any trouble . . ."

"Trouble?" Thoma let out a playful chuckle. "It wouldn't be any trouble at all! Actually-" His face and voice softened. "I'd really like to have you over."

"But, uhhh-" You gulped as you struggled to come up with an excuse. "I don't need you cooking for me or cleaning up after me . . ."

Thoma burst out in a fit of cheery laughter above you. "Cooking and cleaning? Y/N, have you really been away for that long that you've forgotten that cooking and cleaning for people is my job?"

"Yeah, but . . . Uhhhh . . ."

Thoma flashed you a pleading puppy dog look with those big adorable glistening green eyes of his. Even when you wished you could tear your eyes away, you just couldn't. Thoma, knowing he was winning tilted his head all the way to the side. He blinked innocently down at you and cooed,

"I'd really like it if I could care for you a bit . . . make you feel looked after." Without giving you a chance to protest or resist, he smiled sweetly and dealt the final blow.

"Please?"

You let out a groan and gave in. "Alright."

To which Thoma and Yoimiya beamed. While your head drooped in defeat, Thoma glanced at Yoimiya and gave her a quick thankful wink. The lights suddenly dimmed and gasps were heard all over Watasumi Island. Thoma playfully nudged on your shoulder and whispered,

"I think the show's about to start!"

With his arm still around your shoulders, he hurried up to get a good view of the stage, taking you down with him. You watched on with excitement and anticipation as the one and oni himself, Arataki Itto took the stage . . .

Later That Evening . . .

You smiled up at Thoma as the two of you walked comfortably down Inazuma City. You didn't know if it was because of the festival, but it definitely seemed a lot livelier. The citizens here seemed more lighthearted, and you could even hear some people humming from some of the stalls.

But other than that . . . very little else seemed to have changed.

Thoma had walked on in silence for most of the walk. But it was a comfortable silence. Sometimes, he'd glance down to check on you and flash you one of those little smiles that made you feel warm and fuzzy inside. He didn't even have any problem carrying all of your belongings (against your protests).

As you neared what you sensed was his place, he smiled at you again and finally spoke,

"Now I'll have to thank Yoimiya as well!"

"Hm?" You blinked up at him. "For what?"

Thoma let out a lighthearted chuckle. "For bringing me back to you. And suggesting that you stay at my place!"

"Oh!" You immediately glanced away, rubbing the back of your neck. "Yeah . . ." Trying to change the subject, you quickly added, "You look like you really enjoyed that show. At one point, I looked at you, and you were reeling with laughter."

"Was I?" Thoma laughed, threatening to do just that again. "I can't help it! It's one of the best Itto shows I've seen in a while! And you enjoyed it?"

You nodded happily. "It was a lot of fun. Really made it worth traveling all the way back here . . . "

"Hey." Thoma gently nudged your arm with his. You glanced back up at him, noticing the shimmery look in his eyes.

"I really missed you," he murmured. His voice was softer, slightly deeper.

You rubbed your chest as you felt your heart sink a little. You felt a lump forming right at the back of your throat and gulped back as hard as you could.

"I really missed you too . . ."

"Yeah?" Thoma's voice was barely above a whisper. He paused for a moment, looking deep into your eyes. You gazed back at him, watching as he opened his mouth to say something. But his mouth quivered shut. He quickly tore his gaze away. And then he gulped back a possible lump in his own throat as well.

"We're just here now." He pointed to the small house in the distance and headed over to push the door open with his back. His shy demeanor quickly shifted back to his usual cheery sunny self.

"Right. You make yourself comfortable. I have a spare room with a futon for ya. I'll draw up some tea and get a hotpot underway. Would you like that?"

"Thoma . . ." you pouted. You knew he liked to keep himself busy, but this was too much for you.

"Don't worry." Thoma leaned in with a playful smirk on his face. "I'll make you a normal hotpot, not like in one of my games. You relax and I'll get everything ready for ya."

He leaned in a little closer, but stopped when he sensed your body stiffen. You could have sworn he had been about to kiss you . . . But he quickly cleared his throat, and hurried off, hoping you wouldn't notice the blush forming on his cheeks, leaving you to stand there in your thoughts.

You felt that sinking feeling in your chest again. You wouldn't have minded if he had kissed you . . .

"Alright!" Thoma put some water on the boil and yanked open the fridge. "What would you like in your hotpot? Actually-" He raised a finger, stopping you before you could even think. His playful smirk had swiftly returned to his face. In fact, it looked a little bigger.

"I wanna guess. I know I just said I wouldn't make this a game, but, I wanna see if I can remember what your favourite tastes are."

He pulled out some protein and veggies and spices and began to swiftly work away. You raised an eyebrow, deciding to roll with it. Even if he didn't nail your favourite tastes, you had all faith in him that he was going to make this hotpot absolutely delicious.

Wow. You'd even forgotten how much you used to enjoy Thoma's cooking . . .

You watched on in admiration as Thoma swiftly chopped his way through his ingredients, almost like a samurai. Well of course he would be like a samurai, he had kind of a motif going on with the headband and shield on his belt. Licking your lips, you watched him drop the ingredients in the pot and bring it to a simmer, just as the water for the tea began to boil. He was just as slick and swift getting the tea on, sprinkling the leaves into the pot and pouring the water in. He prepared some cute little cups and saucers on a tray and smiled at you.

"Shall we?"

He nodded at the couch, signalling you to sit there. You nodded back at him with a shy giggle and skipped over to the seat, plopping yourself down. Ahhhh, this couch was comfy. You let out a content sigh as Thoma approached you with the tea. A sweet herby smell filled the air, which quickly emphasized the warm smell of hotpot slowly taking over the house.

"Smells good already!" you grinned as Thoma played the tray down before you. A mischievous smirk suddenly appeared on your face as he sat himself down comfortably next to you.

"Heh, remember when we first met and we played your hotpot game? You had the worst stomach ache afterwards!"

"Awww, how could I forget that?" Thoma chuckled, pouring out some tea for the two of you. "And how could I not eat all that stuff? I needed the luck!" He sighed and playfully shook his head. "Though it probably wasn't worth it considering the Vision Hunt Decree singled me out shortly after."

"Ohhhh yeah." You nodded, speaking in a teasing tone. "You got captured, and I had to come save you." You playfully nudged his arm with your elbow.

"Mmmm, and I ended up saving you instead," Thoma said, matching your tone, poking you back in the shoulder. He initially chuckled, but it faded quickly, along with his smile. You thought you felt his breath shudder. He looked at you for a moment before slowly reaching out to pour you a cup of tea.

"So," he murmured in a soft voice, shuffling up closer to you as he handed you the cup. "Tell me about your travels . . . You looking after yourself out there?"

You gulped and took a quick sip of tea. It was the perfect warmth, the perfect taste . . . You'd really forgotten that he made amazing tea. The sip gave you enough time to think of an answer.

You sat up and told Thoma about how busy you'd been in Sumeru and Fontaine, discovering more members of the Fatui to fight and especially empathizing with the last two Archons. Poor Nahida had to endure so much for her people and Furina didn't have it much easier. Her entire life was literally an act just to keep her people happy. Thoma leaned forward, listening carefully all the way. His eyes especially narrowed when you started venting about all these quests you had been doing, some of them helping people for trivial issues, and you felt like not only was no one returning the favour, but it felt like it wasn't bringing you any closer to finding your sibling-

"Stop."

Thoma's voice was gentle but firm. It shut you up straight away. You felt a squeeze on your hand, and suddenly realized he had been holding it the whole time . . .

. . . He was holding your hand . . .

And his hands were so soft, so warm . . .

A shaky gasp slipped through your lips. You glanced up at Thoma, your heart beating a little faster. His face was the most serious you had seen since you had first reunited back on Watasumi Island.

"You never answered my question."

"Which was? I'm sorry." You'd gone off on such a tangent . . . Thoma's hands suddenly felt warmer than the teacup you were holding.

"Have you been taking care of yourself?"

"Well-" You paused and glanced down. "Wh- when I get time, I have been . . ."

"When you get time?" Thoma leaned in a little closer, squeezing your hand in both of his again. "You mean you haven't been making it?"

"Well-" You looked further down, sensing Thoma's expression shifting from serious to . . . possibly scared? You braved a glance up at him. He definitely looked concerned, his eyes shimmering with worry.

"I am looking after myself. I'm eating, I'm sleeping-"

"But-" Thoma shut his eyes, taking a moment to heave a long heavy sigh. His body quivered. His grip on your hand tightened. Eventually, he settled enough to open his eyes back up and give you another serious look.

"When was the last time you took a real break? Where you could kick back and relax and not worry about other people, just . . . think about yourself for a bit?"

Your eyes were down at your hand in his, his thumbs tracing little circles along the top. Very slowly, you put the teacup down on the table. You kept your head bent the whole time. You couldn't look up at him. Because you couldn't answer him.

Your silence answered the question for him.

Thoma let out another sigh, even heavier and longer than the last.

"I know you had quests to do. But when you completed them, you could have at least taken the time to enjoy these places. Yoimiya was in Sumeru and Fontaine and she says she really enjoyed them. M'lord and milady were in Fontaine as well. From what I heard, it sounds like a really nice place to visit."

"I know, I know," you murmured, hiding your face with your palm, as Thoma, very slowly, shuffled closer to you and cautiously slid an arm around your shoulders.

"Can you maybe . . . stay here for a while?"

You shook your heavy head, dropping it on his shoulder.

"I'm traveling again shortly after this. I've got my sights set on Natlan."

" . . . really?" You could hear the disappointment and upset in Thoma's soft voice. He wrapped his other arm around you and squeezed you tight. He allowed you to settle for a moment before murmuring,

"I wish I could come with you."

Your heart clenched. Your body shuddered. Your throat tightened. You squeezed your eyes shut and rubbed your head off Thoma's shoulder.

"You know . . . some stuff you said . . . wishing I'd take care of myself . . . I could nearly say the same for you."

"Hm?" Thoma's eyebrows raised a little. "What do you mean?"

"You're always so busy taking care of other people that sometimes I worry you forget to take care of yourself as well." Without giving Thoma a chance to answer, you gazed up into his eyes and asked almost pleadingly,

"Why don't you do more things for yourself? Why don't you travel more? Why don't you go back to Mondstadt . . . your home?" Your voice croaked.

A small pained smile spread across Thoma's face. He slowly reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.

"You know I can't do that, Y/N," he said with a soft sigh. "Not with the commitments I have. I'm dedicated to protecting m'lord and milady . . . like you're dedicated to finding your sibling . . ."

You gazed up at him with big shimmering eyes and went to protest. But Thoma's gaze softened and you knew there was no point in discussing it. You both had to accept it:

He was confined to Inazuma by his own loyalty. And you were the other extreme. Your head and body sank . . .

"Y/N?"

You felt a soft touch under your chin. Thoma's fingertips gently nudged your head up, very slowly until your eyes sealed contact together. It was then you realized how close you were together- so close that you could feel his hot breath on your face. Your heart began to beat a little faster . . .

Was he about to kiss you?

You went to shut your eyes as he slowly leaned in, your heart beating faster and faster the nearer he drew in. And then he stopped, seeming to sense the tension. He sighed and rested his forehead on yours. He squeezed your hand a little tighter.

"Can you at least promise me you'll stay safe in Natlan?"

Your eyes drooped down . . . down to your hands. You placed your free one over one of his, lightly brushing it with your fingertips. You wanted to promise him. But you didn't want to make a promise you weren't sure you could keep.

"I'll . . . try . . ."

"No, Y/N. That's not good enough." Thoma spoke in a firm tone that made your eyes dart right back up to his. "It's dangerous out there. And you need to look after yourself."

His gaze and tone softened. He reached up for your face with one of his hands, his fingers gingerly brushing your cheek. His eyes flickered with worry. "If I could protect you, I would. But . . ." He took a deep shaky breath and murmured,

"I can't be there to do that."

You felt that tightness in the back of your throat. You had to forcibly gulp it back, nearly choking on your own breath as you did so. Thoma's lips clenched. His forehead rubbed off yours as you heard him swallow back his own lump in his throat. After catching his breath, he gazed deep into your eyes and murmured,

"You need to promise me . . . It's no good merely looking after yourself. You have to make sure you don't push yourself so hard, body or mind. And you gotta keep yourself safe . . . Can you promise me that?"

His voice was so soft . . . he was probably keeping it below a whisper, hoping you wouldn't hear the sad little croaks in it. His hand quivered as it squeezed yours so tight, you could feel his reluctance to let go. He watched you, his wet green eyes shimmering pleadingly as he waited for your answer.

You didn't know what to say . . . You knew the things you wanted to tell him . . . like how you felt . . . Your forehead slid down his a bit. But Thoma squeezed your hand so tight, sliding his forehead down yours to keep that eye contact with you.

"Y/N . . . Promise me . . ."

You shut your eyes. You let out a slow soft sigh. And eventually, you looked up at Thoma, speaking in a determined tone.

"I promise . . . I'll keep myself safe in Natlan. I won't push myself too hard. And . . . I promise I'll come back to you as soon as I'm finished there. I'll make sure to come back in one piece."

A weak little chuckle escaped from you- it faded quickly when Thoma tilted his head slightly, his eyes narrowed. He squeezed your hand again, gently stroking your cheek with his fingertips.

"Please do . . ."

He shut his eyes, nuzzling his forehead off yours. A longer sharper breath shot through his nose. Every part of his body clenched, including his facial features. It made your heart clench for him.

"Thoma?"

"Yeah?"

Very slowly, his body relaxed. He gradually opened his eyes. They locked contact with yours. You suddenly felt- no, saw a warmth in his eyes . . . that seemed to be reflecting off of yours. It was a special kind of warmth- a warmth shared only between the two of you.

You wanted to tell him, you wanted to tell him right there, right now exactly how you felt. And you could sense it in him that the feeling was mutual.

But you couldn't.

If you told him now, it would only hurt him more when you had to leave.

And . . . Your throat quivered . . . You just didn't know if you were going to survive Natlan or not.

You couldn't do that to him. Not dear sweet Thoma who had been so good to you . . .

He didn't deserve that pain.

You had to swallow it back and admit: He deserved someone else who wouldn't do that to him.

So you sighed and murmured,

"Thanks for having me here."

Thoma's eyes were still shimmering. His body sunk a little into his seat. You thought you saw a wave of sadness wash over his face. But much like you did, he had to take a deep breath, swallow his feelings and accept the reality.

"You're welcome . . ."

He heaved a heavy sigh and pulled you into his arms, your head dropping on his chest. You instinctively gasped and glanced up as he wrapped his arms tight around your body.

"Thoma-"

"Shhhhhh, Y/N . . . just rest . . ." Thoma's eyes were not on you, but clouded over with sadness, gazing into nothing. He squeezed you a little tighter and murmured,

"Let me look after you a bit longer."

He let out a shaky breath, digging his nose into your hair and began running his hands up and down your body. You let out a little sigh and relaxed as best as you could into his body. Your own hands started stroking him, your fingertips brushing along his shoulders, his neck and his chest, eventually gripping onto his jacket. You could feel his heart beating in your ear. It was the only thing you could hear on top of his heavy breathing and the simmering hotpot. As the two of you became more content, more accepting, your bodies grew a little warmer. You sniffed and snuggled in closer, holding on a little tighter.

You didn't know when you'd get to enjoy a moment like this again.

I'M HERE! I'M NOT DEAD! I had to come back here and write this after that last event. Our poor Thoma was literally thanking a festival as a rare chance to see us . . . D'X God, the guy deserves better.

Be sure to vote for this story and post comments on what you'd like to see! And if X Reader stories, aren't quite your things, I've been considering creating a Genshin OC to be part of a yume ship with Thoma- who I also plan to write a story quest and events for! If you'd be interested in this, please let me know!

See ya! ;D