Chapter 10: Beneath The Surface

The ship felt quieter now, as if the aftermath of the battle had left a strange stillness in its wake. Kidd stood on deck, arms crossed as he stared out at the horizon. He could still hear Skyler's sobs in the corners of his mind, and though he tried to dismiss it, part of him was bothered. She was a liability to him, he knew that, but for the first time since she'd boarded, he found himself… uncertain.

He clicked his tongue, shaking off the though.

The deck had some pirates that were injured and being tended to and, instead of focusing on his crew's wellbeing, his mind kept going back to what had happened at the sick bay.

Her sobs, her cries, he couldn't seem to push them out of his head. The rawness of it all had left its mark and he had not been ready for it. She wasn't like the rest of them. She hadn't gone through what they've been through. She was different, and he had to admit that.

That moment when he heard her break down, the screaming, the beating on the walls as if everything had crumbled around her, had shifted something inside him.

Kidd had gone through his share of violence. He had seen men die and many of them were killed by his hands. He didn't have any remorse over it – it didn't keep him awake at night. But Skyler? She wasn't like him. She wasn't like Killer, or Heat, Wire – any of them.

Kidd scowled and shook his head, pushing the thought aside. He didn't have time for feelings, not now. He had a crew to manage, that were injured and they still needed to find some place to dock and hide the ship while they waited for the log pose to set. Skyler was an annoyance at best, a liability at worst, but that damned situation at the sick bay kept involuntarily replaying in his head.

"Focus," he muttered to himself, but the words fell flat. He let out and exasperated sight, pacing along the deck. He couldn't afford to be distracted, not when the situation with the Marines was still far from over.

Skyler was a problem. She had made him feel something and kept bringing back images to his head of a past that was long gone. Her raw emotion had clawed at a part of him he'd buried long ago with Victoria. Skyler wasn't her and could never be her, but the damned resemblance kept scratching at his mind.

At the same time, he wanted to make sure she had mettle to deal with what was implied in his line of work. Being a pirate was not easy and it surely wasn't blood and violence free. If she was not cut out for it, she'd get herself killed easily.

Something caught in his throat and he swallowed dryly as the thought came to mind. He didn't mourn the dead. He didn't waste time with what couldn't be fixed. But for Victoria… he had failed her, and now Skyler's pain was resurfacing that sense of failure back to him.

The door to the deck creaked open, cutting through his thoughts. Kidd's ears pricked at the sound, his body tense as he turned, hesitant. Killer emerged, some medical equipment in his hands so he could distribute and help the injured and, behind him came Skyler.

Her eyes were red and swollen, the faint trace of tears still clinging to her cheeks. Her lips, too, were darker, still marked by the weight of what had plagued her earlier. The sight of her like this unsettled him more than he cared to admit

He rolled his shoulders back, trying to push away the tension to no avail.

Something inside his chest felt tighter when she started to slowly approach him, her steps uncertain but steady. She reached a hand towards the back of her belt and pulled out a knife and, once in front of Kidd, she handed it to him, hilt turned towards him.

Skyler did not dare to look at him yet, she was unsure how to proceed with him.

"This is yours." Her voice was hoarse and shaky as she spoke, her hand reflecting the same trembling as her voice.

He assessed her, noting that Killer had tended to her injuries, her hands fully bandaged.

Kidd could feel the weight of the crew's gaze on them, but it didn't matter. They were watching, waiting for something to happen. He didn't need to look to know they were nervous. They always were when things got too personal, too real. But Skyler… she was different. She was something new, something that needed to be handled carefully. The crew could wait.

He took the knife from her hand, his fingers lightly brushing hers, but the action was mechanical, nothing more than a transaction.

"Look at me." His voice was sharp, cutting through the stillness. He stated clearly, his tone harsh but she did not oblige. Her shoulders tensed but she didn't dare to look up. Her eyes stayed glued to the ground, as if refusing to meet his gaze. Kidd's patience, however, was running thin. He stepped forward, reaching out to grab her face, his thumb pressing against her jaw with a firm, almost angry touch.

The second their eyes locked, something inside his chest twisted, tight and unbearable. Her eyes were still rimmed with unshed tears, her expression tight, trying so hard to keep herself in check. Her lips were pressed together in a thin line, betraying the fight within her.

"What do you want?" Her words carried venom, her voice bitterness as if he was the one guilty of what she was feeling and Kidd understood.

The feeling he had in his chest, what was tugging at him was guilt of what had happened to her. This was new to him and he was confused as to why she'd make him feel this way. In a way, he knew that it was connected to how she reminded him of Victoria. There was a feeling in him that he, somehow, had been guilty for her death and now, had been an accomplice to her mental state shattering in the sick bay.

And on both those cases, he had not been there. Worse yet, he had chosen not to be there for Skyler, but he did not know how. He didn't do emotions, he didn't understand them that much. Maybe he was emotionally stunted and couldn't comprehend how she had been so affected by killing one person.

"You're not cut out for this at all." He spat back at her. "I should just leave you here and be done with you."

Skyler swallowed hard. His words felt like knives, cold, harsh and unforgiving. But there was something in them that seemed to push her forward, for her to acknowledge her situation. She had to toughen up and she knew that well. But hearing him say those words stung.

"You don't get to do that." She hardened herself, her hand griping his wrist tightly, as she stared defiantly at him. She saw something in his eyes that felt unsteady, as if he had hesitated. As if he had seen a ghost of his past when she talked back to him. "I said I'd fight and I will."

His mouth twisted upward in a smile, something sadistic behind it but it was more thrill than anything else. His copper eyes shone with enthusiasm.

"Those better not be empty words." He leaned closer to her, the tip of his nose almost brushing hers as his smile grew wider. "You better have the spine to back it up."

"Who says I don't?" Her voice was steady, but her fingers twitched at her side, the sting of her injuries grounding her in the moment. She wasn't sure if she could hold his gaze much longer, but she refused to look away. "I didn't hesitate when it mattered. I made the choice that had to be done."

Something flickered in Kidd's gaze. The intensity he had, the harshness his gaze held, it shifted, replaced by something subtle, harder for her to read.

"I guess I can work with that." With those words he let her go, shaking off her hand. "Where we are is kill or be killed. I can't afford to carry around deadweight." He turned her back to her and walked towards the helm of the ship, making sure that now he had full focus on the task to bringing the ship to a safe place.

"Yes, captain." She mumbled those words to herself, the word 'captain' escaping her lips before she could hold it back. In her short time on the ship, the crew had gotten under her skin. She hadn't meant to call him 'captain', but the word came out before she could stop it.

As if to cut off the tension that still lingered, Quincy came hopping towards her but came to a full stop before touching Skyler. She was hesitant to do it, as if she was made of glass and would shatter at the slightest contact. Behind Quincy came some of the other women of the crew, Dive, House and Emma, also fearful to approach or share a word with Skyler.

"How are you feeling?" Quincy asked, her voice tinged with doubt but laced with genuine concern. Emma exchanged a glance with House, the tension in their postures easing as Quincy broke the ice. They didn't speak, but their small smiles said enough.

"I'm fine… As fine as I can be at the moment." Skyler let out a heavy sigh and turned to face Quincy fully. She spread her arms wide, an invitation. "I don't break that easily, okay?"

Quincy's eyes filled with tears as she flung herself forward, pulling Skyler into a hug so tight it nearly knocked the air out of her. Warmth radiated from the embrace, and Quincy's sobs spilled out in a garbled mix of words and snot.

House and Emma exchanged a glance, visible relief softening their features. Emma's lips twitched upward into a smile, while House simply nodded. Dive, however, stood with arms crossed, her expression sharp as ever.

"You say that but you still look like shit." Dive spat out, a pout starting to show on her bottom lip, trying to fight off whatever emotions were surging up.

"That is the kindest words you've ever told me, Dive. Thank you!" Skyler teased, trying to shove Quincy's hair out of her face.

"YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THANKING ME!" Dive shrieked, spinning on her heel. She didn't get far, her foot catching on an outstretched leg. She stumbled and nearly went sprawling, her cheeks burning as she darted below deck.

"I guess there'll be more injured if Dive keeps this up." Skyler commented and Quincy let out a soft chuckle.

The girls managed to lighten the mood, but Skyler could feel the weight of something still pressing down on her chest. She couldn't shake the image of Kidd's gaze when he'd looked at her earlier. It had been cold, calculating, but there had been something else. A hesitation, a fleeting moment when his expression faltered, as if he had seen a ghost. It lingered in her mind but, for now, she would push it aside.

Her focus shifted to the crew. She couldn't let herself be distracted by those thoughts about Kidd. There were injured pirates on board, and Skyler was determined to help them. Despite the suspicion that some still had toward her, she knew that if she was going to be here for the long haul, she would have to earn their trust.

And maybe, just maybe, there was a part of her that wanted to prove to herself she belonged here. Not just as a fighter, but as a member of their crew.

She stood a little taller, brushing some of the lingering doubts aside as she prepared to join Killer and the others in helping those that needed the assistance. She might not understand Kidd's motivations, and the sting of his threat still clawed to her, but she refused to let it hold her back.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

A/N:

I wanted this chapter to be a bit more introspective on Kidd's end and start to tap in to, what could be assumed, as some form of trauma around Victoria. I know this was not on the anime but I think I'd want to dwell into that a bit more. Plus it gives a bit more depth to Kidd's character in this circumstance and not that one dimensional, must destroy, kind of character that he can feel at times in the anime.

I also got help from a friend with proofreading and also refining my writing. I feel like I have some difficulty at times to express emotions. And sometimes I am overly descriptive.

It took quite some time to review this chapter and it was rewritten multiple times but I am happy with how it turned out.