Chapter 56: Tension so Thick
Kendall found himself in Logan's office, slumped in a chair. Logan stood in front of him holding the sonogram. The silence was deafening. Kendall didn't know what else to say here. He was still very much in shock.
"So," Logan said slowly. "He's pregnant? For reals? This isn't a prank?"
Kendall didn't look up at him. He was focused on the picture on Logan's desk. It was of both their families at a gathering a few years back. It was definitely before Jenny and Miri were born. The picture was pure chaos. Jake had Layla in his arms and was spinning her around as she laughed. Adam and Damien were arguing about something, yet laughing. Kyle and Leora were hanging on one another grinning, with Miles stood beside them trying to make them laugh. Lilly was the only one looking at the camera smiling. Carlos was watching Layla worried she might fall as Jake spun. Logan was beside him trying to convince him to look at the camera. Kendall and James were standing behind the twins, sharing a moment to themselves smiling at one another. It perfectly encapsulated their family dynamic back then, even with Damien and Miles invading their photo. Those two had been family since the day they had befriended Adam and Kyle.
Kendall avoided the sonogram. He couldn't bring himself to look at it. That was a reminder of how much had changed since that picture was taken. Things were complicated.
Logan's words hung in the air, waiting for his answer. Was this a prank? If it was, James was holding out a bit too long for his liking. Kendall had been mulling this over all night. After his walk, James had been in bed when he arrived. He had decided to sleep on the couch. He wasn't sure what to think. He had left before anyone else was awake and corner Logan at the hospital. He needed an outside point of view and medical advice. Logan was the perfect choice for both.
"Yeah," Kendall answered finally. "It's real, otherwise he's keeping this prank going on for far too long."
"You're nipped?" Logan said slowly. He set the sonogram photo down. He was trying to make sure he knew all the pieces of this puzzle.
"Yes and so is James we've been over this. We both went back at six months and a year to confirm that it worked," Kendall snapped. He had been cautious. They didn't want any more kids.
"I don't think James would cheat," Logan said, shaking his head. "There's a chance a vasectomy could fail. I mean they only check once in most cases to see if it takes and while the chances of recanalization are very slim, it can happen."
"But like, how?" Kendall asked, confused.
"I don't know, you Knights seem to have super sperm that can survive all odds," Logan said.
"That's not helping," Kendall groaned as he sighed falling back in his seat. He looked up at Logan finally, "I mean what are we gonna do with another kid?"
"Raise it? Like you have the other five," Logan suggested.
"Haha, obviously but like…we were done," Kendall groaned.
"I know, but I guess life had other plans," Logan said.
"Is it bad for me to say…" Kendall trailed off.
"Say what?" Logan asked, pushing himself up off his desk.
"That I don't want this?" Kendall asked, looking away from him again.
That was the real struggle here. When James told him all this last night, his gut reaction had been bad. He didn't want this baby, neither did James. They had both agreed on that after Jenny was born. He wanted this to go away, but he could never ask James to actually do that.
"No, I mean I get it. You guys were done. You don't want anymore kids, but it happened and now you guys need to decide what to do," Logan said reasonably.
"Decide what to do?" Kendall asked.
"Come on Kendall, you know the risks. You were told them when you got pregnant. Age only makes pregnancy harder," Logan said.
"Right," Kendall said, nodding his head. There was no decision to be made. Kendall knew James would never do that, and he couldn't ask him to do that. That was out of the question.
"I don't think I could ask him to…uh..do that."
"Have you asked him what his thoughts are on all this? Maybe he's considered it," Logan said. He snatched the photo again and looked it over. "I mean by this image he's only about six to eight weeks along. This could all just go away on its own too."
"Don't say that," Kendall said, jumping up. He paused as he realized his reaction.
"Maybe you do want this baby," Logan said, arching a brow at him.
"Don't start to psycho-analyze me with your mind tricks," Kendall snapped. He turned away from Logan.
"Come on Kendall, I know you. You love babies and you will love this kid too. It's just a shock, and judging by that reaction I can tell you don't really want to terminate," Logan replied.
"I guess," Kendall sighed.
"Just talk with him and hear him out. Don't jump to conclusions," Logan said.
A knock at the door caught Logan's attention. He barely moved when the door opened and Marcus walked in.
"Thanks for waiting for me to answer. It's not like I'm busy or anything," Logan grumbled.
"You missed the morning meeting," Marcus said before he caught sight of Kendall. "Good morning Kendall, a bit early for lunch isn't it?" He asked.
"Sorry my bad, I cornered him," Kendall replied, sheepishly.
"Everything alright," Marcus said as he eyed the sonogram picture. Kendall snatched it from Logan. "One of the kids?" He asked.
"Uh, no actually it's James'," Kendall replied looking down at the picture again.
"Oh," Marcus said, shocked.
"My sentiments exactly," Kendall sighed as he sat down once more.
"This is better than the morning meeting, you're off the hook," Marcus said, taking the other chair in the office. "So I take it this wasn't planned."
"You are so nosey," Logan scoffed at his boss.
"Always, it's what makes me a great doctor," Marcus replied, "sorry if you don't wanna share but I don't wanna go back to that dreadful meeting yet."
"It's fine and no this was not planned at all, in fact we took extra precautions so as to not have anymore kids after Jenny," Kendall replied.
"Were you using condoms," Logan asked knowingly.
"No, but we didn't need to after we both got vasectomies," Kendall said glaring at his friend.
"Ooh and the plot thickens," Marcus said, "but I don't think James is the cheating type, I mean he's a bit conceited and vain, but I don't think I've ever heard of cheating rumors from any previous relationships," he commented.
"No James isn't the type," Kendall confirmed, "and I know that. I know he would never and I would never. It's just…I'm in denial I guess."
"Well I think you need to get your count checked again," Marcus said.
"Yeah, probably but like this just…isn't what we had planned. I mean with everything going on with Kyle," Kendall said.
"Oh yeah, how's this kid doing?" Marcus asked.
"Good, he's almost done with chemo and he's on track to graduate as long as he passes his exams this weekend," Kendall said.
"How's his brain? He's a fascinating case," Marcus said.
"Case?" Kendall asked.
"Each patient we see is a case to him. We have to solve the mystery of what's wrong and Kyle's brain is fascinating from a medical standpoint," Logan said.
"His recovery was amazing too," Marcus said, "he's very lucky not many people can make it back from that."
"Kids got nine lives," Logan replied.
"Yeah?" Marcus asked confused.
"He's my wild child that's for sure, he's been in a few car accidents and even a school bombing. He's had amnesia and PTSD," Kendall said.
"Amnesia?" Marcus asked.
"Yeah, he forgot almost a whole year and he still struggles to remember things from when he was fifteen/sixteen," Kendall said.
"Really," Marcus said. His expression was thoughtful. He looked up at Logan. "So he's had previous brain damage."
"Yeah, I guess he has, I never thought of it before because we weren't sure if he was gonna die and then he dropped the cancer bomb on us," Kendall replied.
"He's your impulsive one right?" Marcus asked.
"Yeah, what does that-" Kendall started.
"Did he get a head CT when he came into the ER?" Marcus asked, looking up at Logan.
"No, we were busy trying to keep his heart beating while we pumped his stomach to get the pills out," Logan replied, "what's with the thinking face."
"There might be something we missed," Marcus said slowly.
"What do you mean?" Logan asked, confused. He watched Marcus as he seemed to be thinking something over.
"I need to talk to Kyle," Marcus said, jumping up. "This just got interesting again."
"He does this. It's when he uses his big doctor brain," Logan said, turning to Kendall. "What are you thinking?"
"It's nothing bad, but it might explain some other things," Marcus said slowly, "I could be completely wrong, but I have a hunch."
—Happy Mistakes—
James was laying on the couch in Carlos' dressing room. Carlos was sitting on the floor playing with Emily and Jenny. They were all laughing. James had come over to talk to Carlos but couldn't bring himself to actually tell him the news. So instead he laid on the couch while Carlos and Jenny played. Emily joined once she saw Jenny.
"Is he ok?" Emily asked.
"Yeah, he's being dramatic, he will talk once he's ready," Carlos replied.
"Carlos," James said slowly.
"Yeah buddy, you ready to tell me what's up?" Carlos asked looking up from Jenny.
James sighed sitting up. "I'm pregnant."
"Whoa, do we gotta tell Kendall and Logan about us? I don't think I'm ready to be a dad again," Carlos laughed causing Emily to laugh. James shot him a glare.
"Carlos," James said.
"Are you serious right now?" Carlos asked, his smile fading. "Em why don't you take Jenny to get a snack."
"Yeah, I'm sure the others would love to spend some time with her too," Emily said jumping up. "Come on Jenny let's go visit Denny and get some snacks," she held her hand out to the toddler. She led her away.
"James are you serious right now? I thought you were both nipped," Carlos said as he stood up from the floor.
"We are, and before you say anything, no I have not slept with anyone else," James said quickly.
"I wasn't gonna," Carlos said. He sat down beside the brunette. "Are you sure?"
"Yes I went to the the doctor yesterday and he took some labs and then he did the sonogram too just to confirm and I'm like eight weeks along already."
"Oh wow," Carlos said slowly, "that's what yesterdays phone call was about?"
"I panicked! I didn't know what to do or how to tell Kendall. I'm sure he thinks I've slept with someone else," James groaned, falling back on the couch.
"No he doesn't," Carlos said.
"Put yourself in my shoes here Carlos, we both got nipped after Jenny, tell me you wouldn't doubt Logan if he came and told you he was pregnant," James asked.
"Well," Carlos said slowly.
"Exactly," James said.
"I believe you, did you guys talk last night? I'm sure he believes you too," Carlos said.
"No we didn't actually, he left to go for a drive," James said, "and he was gone early this morning."
"Oh," Carlos said.
"Yeah," James said.
They lapsed into silence. James was spiraling. What did Kendall think? Did he really think James would cheat on him? Would he believe James?
James sank into the couch with a sigh. He wished Kendall would just come talk to him.
"You know he probably went to talk to Logan right, Logan is his go to when he's got something deep to talk about," Carlos said.
"Yeah," James nodded his head.
"I'm sure he doesn't think you've cheated on him. He's probably in as much shock as you. He's probably gotta talk it out and wrap his head around it," Carlos reasoned.
"Me too," James said quickly, sitting up again. "I've been trying to wrap my head around this! We were done after Jenny, as much as I wanted one more we were done," he said.
"One more?" Carlos asked.
James sighed, his shoulder slumping. "We talked about it not that long ago. I thought about how Jenny was the only child on her own cause Jake had Adam and Kyle and Leora had each other. I thought about if Jenny had a sibling close to her age and I wanted one more, but rightfully so Kendall talked me out of it. It was just baby fever."
"So you wanted another baby, and he didn't," Carlos said.
"For like ten seconds, but I got over it," James said.
"Maybe that's why he's freaking out too," Carlos suggested, "maybe he thinks you somehow planned this."
"What?" James asked shocked. "How? Why would I do that?"
"I don't know, but given what you've just told me it sounds kind of convenient," Carlos said.
James paused, letting Carlos words sink in. He could kind of understand that. It was a coincidence that this happened after that conversation. He had not planned this at all.
"Breathe," Carlos said.
James took a deep breath. He knew that he needed to talk to Kendall before he jumped to conclusions. There as so much that they needed to talk about.
—Happy Mistakes—
Lucas sat down next to Leora with his lunch. Miles had taken off in the opposite direction telling him he wasn't really hungry.
"Hey Le, where ya been, hardly saw you this morning," Lucas greeted her.
"I've been busy preparing for my senior project presentation," Leora replied. "I think I got it all done, but I have a bone to pick with you actually."
"About last night?" Lucas asked nervously. "You didn't give me a heads up. If Miles uses me as a cover he tells me what he's doing," he said.
"That's fair," Leora sighed, "but we fell asleep watching a movie and I didn't get home till almost midnight."
"Damn, only a couple weeks and he's already got you breaking curfew," Lucas teased.
"We fell asleep, nothing happened. I mean, we made out a little, but that was it," Leora said waving her hand.
"So have you guys made it official yet, I wanna meet this mystery man," Lucas said.
"Actually, funny you should say that," Leora laughed.
"Oh my god you did," Lucas said.
"Sorta, kinda," Leora said.
"What do you mean sorta?" Lucas asked, confused.
"Well Carter wanted to be the girlfriend this time cause he's never been someone's girlfriend so I guess I'm his boyfriend," Leora giggled.
"That's adorable," Lucas said.
"I know, he's such a goof and so easy to get along with," Leora said.
"You've got it bad," Lucas said, "I can't wait to meet him."
"Soon, it'll have to wait until I'm out of hot water with dad and pops," Leora said, "although I think then might be fighting maybe. When I got home last night things were tense and dad was gone this morning before anyone else was even up."
"Maybe they'll be too distracted to punish you," Lucas suggested.
"Fingers crossed," Leora laughed.
"Hey guys," Layla said as she sat down with Millie right beside her.
"Non Erika? She's usually attached to your hip," Lucas teased.
"She left early for a doctor's appointment," Layla said.
"How's your presentation coming along, isn't it due soon?," Millie asked.
"Good, I think I've got it all down to a T and I should be just under the 10 minute mark," Leora said.
"Nice, if you need a test audience I'll help, I know doing it in front of someone usually helps me," Millie said grinning at Layla.
"Yeah, we can all help out," Layla offered. Lucas nodded his head in agreement.
"That would be helpful actually, what are you guys doing after school," Leora asked.
"I've got plans with Artie, sorry I can't today," Lucas said.
"That's fine, you'll be hearing it Friday anyways," Leora said.
"We were gonna just hang out and maybe go shopping," Layla said.
"How about we hit the library after school and then we can all go shopping," Leora suggested.
"Deal," Millie said.
—Happy Mistakes—
Kyle looked down at the flashcards before him. He was currently in therapy with his speech therapist Lindsey. She was basically teaching him how to read again. It was hard because everything looked garbled. Like he could make out certain letters, but placing the word was hard.
Jared was sitting beside him learning way to help Kyle at home from Lindsey too. She was glad that Kyle had so many people willing to help him.
"I think we are done with this for today," Lindsey said, "Jensen should be barging in at the moment to steal you away."
"Do I have to," Kyle whined, "he's mean and…he pushes me past my limit," he said slowly.
"If we don't push ya, you won't make progress and get better," Jensen said from the doorway.
"But it's…hard," Kyle groaned.
"Come on, I'll take you for froyo after," Jared offered.
"Bet," Kyle said, jumping up.
Jared and Jensen both laughed. Kyle exited the room saying bye to Lindsey and that he would see her in a few days.
Jensen started their session like normal. He had Kyle grip things with his bad hand, sort things out into piles, and even write and color. They were working on his fine motor skills. It was all a process and things were moving along great. Kyle could do so much more than he could at the start of this and for longer too.
"So, I called in a favor and we are gonna try something new today," Jensen said as the session winded down.
"Oh?" Kyle asked.
Jensen led them to a different room than normal. It was next to the big therapy room where a couple other therapists were helping other patients. Kyle entered the room and stopped dead when he saw a guitar sitting on the bed.
"Oh," Kyle said slowly.
He hadn't touched a guitar in so long. He had been so busy with treatment and therapy, he hand thought about it much. Then after a bit he started avoiding it. What if he couldn't play? He could barely hold a pen for five minutes. How was he supposed to play a guitar for hours on end?
"I thought we could try something different today, if you're up for it," Jensen said slowly, "I know you play and I wanted to set a new baseline and hopefully work up to where you were before."
"What if…can't," Kyle said slowly. He stared at the the case.
"That's a possibility but it's my job to get you back to playing," Jensen said.
Kyle nodded his head staring at the case. He glanced over at Jared.
"It's ok," Jared said, placing a hand on his shoulder.
"Maybe not today," Kyle sighed.
"That's ok, I expected that, but I want you to think about it," Jensen replied.
Kyle nodded his head. He knew he had to try. He would never know if he never tried. The idea of not being able to play guitar scared him. It was what he had built his whole image on. It was something he truly loved to do. He didn't want to find out that he couldn't.
"Are we done for today?" Jared asked.
"Yeah," Jensen said, stepping between Kyle and the guitar. Kyle's attention snapped to Jensen.
"Same time Friday," Kyle asked.
"Sounds good, and don't stress about the guitar. We will get there when we get there," Jensen said.
Kyle nodded his head. Jared led him from the room after they said goodbye. Jared grabbed his hand leading him away.
"Let's go get some froyo," Jared said.
Kyle smiled and nodded his head grateful Jared didn't bring up the guitar. They were heading out when Dr. Jacobi walked up to them. He greeted them with a smile.
"I was hoping to catch you," he said to Kyle.
"Here I am," Kyle said.
"Got a minute to talk?" he asked. Kyle nodded his head. Dr Jacobi led them away to his office.
—Happy Mistakes—
Leora followed along behind Layla, Millie, and Erika. They had all helped Leora with her project. Once that was done they headed to the mall. Leora needed a new dress for graduations and she needed opinions and someone to help her choose. However, nothing seemed to spark her interest.
As she browsed her thoughts turned to Carter. Things were starting to get serious. She still hasn't brought up the whole famous family thing, and he didn't seem to know any of her brothers, at least not that he was letting on. When was a good time to break the news. Was it a deal breaker? Then again he mentioned having a famous brother, but would never name him. Would he break things off if he found out?
"Leora, we've been here twenty minutes and you haven't grabbed anything to try on," Layla said, interrupting her thought.
"Yeah and I think I heard the sales associates gossiping wondering if you're ok," Millie teased.
"Haha," Leora said, turning to the other girl. "No I…guess my mind is elsewhere, sorry."
"What's wrong?" Layla asked.
"Just thinking," Leora said, turning to face them fully.
"Ooh you've got tea, let's go get some smoothies and we can talk," Layla said grabbing her hand and leading her away from the clothing racks. Erika and Millie laughed as they followed the excited Latino.
Layla's led them to the food court. They all bought smoothies and snacks. Erika directed them to a table away from the crowd.
"Ok, now spill," Layla said.
"I've started seeing someone," Leora said.
"Ooh, details," Layla demanded.
"His name is Carter and he's super cool and funny. We really click together," Leora said.
"But?" Erika asked.
"But he doesn't know I have a famous family, or he hasn't given any indication he knows," Leora said, setting her smoothie down.
"Ah yes, the age old I have famous dads talk, I've heard Lilly give it a few times. I never had to worry as Erika knew right away," Layla said.
"I know and guys have freaked out on Lilly once they found out," Leora said.
"Right, I see the problem," Millie said.
"I haven't even broached the subject of Kyle," Leora said.
"Ooh, definitely not like a first date confession," Erika said.
"Yeah, that drama…I think I put a mental block on it," Leora replied.
"How long have you been seeing him?" Layla asked.
"A couple weeks, but the other day we kind of made it official maybe," Leora said slowly.
"Maybe?" Erika asked.
"Well we were joking around and we agreed he's the girlfriend cause he's never been that part so I'm the boyfriend," Leora said with a smile playing across her face.
"Aw, Leora got her first girlfriend," Erika cooed.
"You're taking baby steps in the gay direction," Layla laughed.
"Thanks, you sound just like Miles," Leora said.
Layla gasped, leaning back away from the blonde girl. She looked scandalized.
"Oh my god you do," Erika laughed.
"No you don't, don't listen to those liars," Millie said reaching a hand across the table.
"Thanks Mil," Layla said, taking her hand and giving it a squeeze. "I know I can always count on you."
"Anyways, things are going good, I don't want to ruin them," Leora said.
"You do have to tell him sooner or later," Millie said.
"I know," Leora said.
"It's probably better to rip the band aid off and just do it," Layla said, "I mean it's better to know now than draw it out."
"You're probably right," Leora sighed.
"Well, you've got two options honestly, don't tell him and get in too deep and be really hurt if he has a bad reaction, or tell him now and only have a little hurt," Layla said.
"Or he could be fine with it," Erika said.
"When did you get so wise," Leora asked.
"I've always been wise, it's just no one listens to me," Layla replied.
"Leora?"
Leora looked up in shock at the sound of that voice. She smiled as she saw Caleb and Haley Stetson standing a few feet away.
She was shocked to see Caleb. She hasn't heard anything from him since shortly after the new year. He had been struggling with school and then he never answered any of her messages again. She had been worried about him at first, but Hayley had assured her he was fine, just busy with school. Then Hayley left to join Jett in Paris for a couple months on a movie shoot.
Leora jumped up meeting them halfway and giving Haley a big hug. She turned to Caleb unsure what to do. She decided on a hug as well. He awkwardly gave her one back.
"Oh it's been forever," Leora said happily.
"Been busy," Caleb replied, clipped. He avoided looking at her.
"I just got back from Paris, I have so much to tell you," Hayley said, not seeming to notice how uncomfortable Caleb looked.
Leora invited them to join her. She turned and saw that Layla was steering Millie and Erika away with a wave. She shook her head and turned back to the other two.
"Come on," Hayley said. She linked arms with Leora. They started walking along. Caleb followed them a step behind. He was awfully quiet.
Hayley started chatting Leora ear off about her time in France with Jett. He had been shooting a movie on location for the last six months. She had been over there with him.
All of a sudden Hayley saw some of her other friends and ran off to join them. Caleb tried to get her attention but she was gone.
"So," Caleb said, turning back to Leora with a small smile.
"Working towards law school?" Leora asked, awkwardly.
"Nah, I'm…I'm not sure. I'm trying to figure it out," Caleb said, waving a hand.
"Oh," Leora said.
They fell silent. Leora wasn't sure what to say. They both paused turning towards one another. They both opened their mouth and paused.
"Sorry," they said together.
"You go first," Leora giggled.
Caleb chuckled and looked away from her. "I wanna apologize for dropping off the face of the earth these last few months."
"Yeah, it was like you vanished into thin air, not even Jackie heard from you," Leora said.
"Yeah, things…things uh…got bad," Caleb said.
"What do you mean?" Leora asked.
Caleb looked around. He led Leora over to a bench. They sat down together. Caleb sighed and looked down at the floor.
"Caleb," Leora said softly.
"My depression hit hard," Caleb said.
"Oh?" Leora said slowly.
"Yeah it got bad," Caleb admitted, "I barely left my dorm, I never went to class, I basically isolated myself."
"Why didn't you reach out to me," Leora asked.
"I didn't tell anyone, not even dad or pa. Hayley doesn't even know," Caleb said, avoiding her gaze. "I am on academic probation actually. I can't go back next semester."
Leora's jaw dropped. She looked at Caleb. His shoulders were slumped and he looked fragile right now. She reached out, placing a hand on his shoulder.
"Caleb I am so sorry, I had no idea," she said.
"I wanted it that way," Caleb said looking up at her finally. "I didn't want anyone to know I was struggling. I think it was the combination of being in a new school and being so far from my family and friends and going through a break up it all added up and it just got to be too much."
"Break up?" Leora asked.
"I mean us, it was a big change in my life," Caleb said, "it was like everything just kept piling up and it all just toppled over."
"Right," Leora said.
"Enough about me though, I'm in a much better place and I'm fine. I'm working on myself," Caleb said, waving a hand.
"Wanna talk about me and my disaster of a life?" Leora asked.
"We don't have to talk about that dumpster fire that Kyle and Miles pulled you into," Caleb said.
"Thank you," Leora said, her shoulders slumping.
"Caleb!"
Caleb looked up as Hayley came running back to him. Caleb stood up arching a brow at his sister.
"Dad just called, he wants us home," Hayley said.
"Well that's my cue," Caleb said, "we should get together and actually catch up."
"Yeah," Leora said, nodding her head. "You have my number."
"Sounds good," Caleb said as Hayley started to drag him away saying her own goodbyes to Leora.
—Happy Mistakes—
Jake laid back on the couch with Eli on his chest. Eli was sound asleep after a long morning of running errands with Jake. Jake checked his watch. He knew he had to get up for his one class today, but he was finding it hard because he didn't want to disturb Eli. He was waiting for Camille to show up to watch Eli for him while Damien came home from his last class of the day.
Eli shifted in his sleep, a soft snore coming from him. Jake smiled at how adorable he was. He smiled as he watched his son. It was so strange that only a few months ago, he couldn't fathom this feeling. He had been so deep in his post partum that he couldn't feel connected to his son.
The apartment door opened and Damien entered the apartment. He smiled as he looked at Jake and Eli. Jake reached for his phone, but Damien held up a hand.
"I finished my exam early so I was let out," Damien said as he walked over to them. He leaned over giving Jake a hello kiss.
"I should get ready for my class," Jake said,
"On it," Damien said. He carefully scooped Eli up from his grasp. Eli started slightly, but cuddled close to Damien as he cradled him close. He cooed softly to their son trying to keep him sleeping.
Jake frowned as he watched them, missing the warm Eli had provided him. He sat up watching as Damien looked up at him.
"Something wrong?" Damien asked.
"I don't wanna leave," Jake sighed.
"It's you're only class today, you can survive a few hours," Damien chuckled. He held a hand out to him.
Jake took his offered hand and stood up stretching. He twisted his back popping. He looked at Eli again, his heart aching as he thought about leaving him.
"Don't even think about it, you can't skip this class again," Damien said.
"Fine," Jake groaned.
"You'll thank me when you pass this class and don't have to retake it," Damien chuckled.
"I know, I know, but I don't wanna leave my baby," Jake said making a face.
Jake got ready for class while Damien settled Eli into his crib. Jake filled Damein in on when he last fed Eli and how long he had been napping. Damien shooed him out the door with one final kiss, telling him not to worry.
Jake sighed as he made his way out of the building. He really didn't want to leave Eli, he had missed out on so much of the early months with his son, he didn't want to miss anymore. Logically he knew it was only a few hours, but he still hated to miss any second with him. It couldn't make up for the lost time, but he was here and present now. He was going to make the most of it.
He arrived at campus quickly. He checked the time seeing he still had a sometime before class started. He made his way to a study room near his class and set an alarm on his phone. He pulled out his books and started studying. He tried to focus on another other than the ache of missing Eli and Damien.
-Happy Mistakes-
Kendall looked up at the condo from his car. He had been sitting outside for a few minutes now. He knew James was home cause his car was already here. After talking with Logan this morning he had pushed himself into his work meetings. He had to kiss ass with Kelly to make up for being late. At first he had wanted to go to her for advice, but he wasn't sure if James wanted anyone else knowing. He knew telling Logan was ok, he told Logan everything, and he was sure James would be talking to Carlos soon if he hadn't already.
He took a breath and got out of the car. He had to face James sooner or later. Making his way up to the door he paused as he place his hand on the knob. He knew he needed to listen to James before he jumped to conclusions.
He steeled himself for this difficult conversation once more. He entered the condo and heard one of Jenny's musicals playing in the livingroom. He made hisway towards the sound. He found Jenny napping in her playpen. He dared not turn the TV off in fear of waking the toddler terror.
He made his way to the kitchen where James was sitting at the table, a mug sitting in front of him. He looked up at Kendal, entered the room.
"Kendall," he said shocked. He looked down at the time on his phone. "I didn't realize how late it was," he said.
"That's ok," Kendall said crossing the room. He stood over James. James looked up at him waiting for him to speak. "You would never cheat on me right?" he asked.
"Never," James said reaching up for his hand, "you are the only one for me Kendall. I swear it."
"Ok then," Kendall said nodding his head. He pulled James to his feet. "I just needed to hear you say that." He pulled the taller man into a hug. "I am sorry for the way i reacted but…it was a shock. I was just…I don't know."
"Me too," James said taking a step back. He looked Kendall in the eye. "I am just as shocked as you are. This is not something I planned…I went in because I've been sick, which I now know is morning sickness. I just…"
Kendall pulled James into a kiss, silencing his rambling. James melted into his touch. Kendall wrapped him in a tight hug as they parted, resting their foreheads together. They stood there just taking one another in.
"It's ok Jamie," Kendall said softly.
"Ok, just one day at a time like we always do huh?" James asked.
"Yeah, and whatever you decide to do, I am behind you one hundred precent," Kendall said.
"Decide…oh!" James said catching on to what Kendall meant. He frowned as he looked away from the blonde. "I haven't thought about it."
Kendall placed a finger on his chin direction his attention back to him. He gave him a soft encouraging smile. "I am here for you whatever you choose. We can do this all again, or…" he trailed off unable to even say it.
"Yeah, that," James said frowning once more. "The doctor did tell me that at my age there are definitely more risks involved and that it might be better to just…end it."
"What do you think?" Kendall asked.
"I don't know," James admitted, "Like I don't want to do that, but he did say this could be risky for me and the baby."
"Sounds like we should sit down with the doctor and get all the information and decide after," Kendall said, "but you're still relatively early on and it could.."
"Is it bad that a small part of me thought of that too?" James asked, his voice barely a whisper. He took a step back from Kendall finally. He looked up at him searching in his gaze for something.
"Logan mentioned it earlier too," Kendall replied. James seemed to find the answer he wanted as he gave a small smile or relief.
"I knew you were with him," James sighed, "I went to see Carlos."
"What are best friends for?" Kendall asked with a chuckle. "I think we need to get our sprem counts tested to see if the vasectmoies have reversed for both of us."
"Yeah, that's probably wise," James said nodding his head. "Let's not tell the kids yet. Not until we know everything and have a plan."
"You read my mind," Kendall said, "Now how about we order out for supper since it seems you were a bit distracted."
"Sounds good to me," James replied.
-Happy Mistakes-
Kyle laid back in his bed with Jared. They had arrived home to find Kendall and James had ordered out. Jared ate with them while Kyle wasn't really hungry. He had a shake to appease James. Miles hadn't come over tonight since he was still trying to get caught up in some of his classes and according to Carlos didn't need distractions right now. Jared was behind him while they watched a movie.
Kyle was still thinking about the bomb that Dr Jacobi had dropped on him. Dr Jacobi had revealed he had been talking with Kendall and Logan earlier and he had a hunch. He wanted to get a brain scan to confirm a suspicion he had.
"A brain tumor?" Jared asked for Kyle.
"Possibly, and most likely unrelated the the cancer," Dr Jacobi said, "You dad was talking about this sudden lack of impulse you seem to have had over the last two years."
"And a brain tumor could explain all that?" Jared asked.
"It's a rare thing, but it could explain all the changes the in your behavior and why you seem to act on impulse, like taking those pills without a second thought," Dr Jacobi said, "If I'm correct this could have happened due to one of your accidents previously and it's just been there growing and if left untreated it could cause more problems."
Kyle nodded his head as he let that information sink in. His question burring in his throat, but he didn't want to upset Jared.
Dr Jacobi went on about the tumor and what it all could mean. Kyle wasn't really listening anymore. His thoughts were elsewhere.
Kyle kept on replaying that conversation in his head. Could that really be the reason why he didn't have any impulse control? Was that the reason he kissed Miles? Maybe, but it did not account for the feelings he had for him now. He truly deeply cared about Miles now, or maybe he always had, he just never realized until he kissed him.
What if he did have a tumor or some kind of injury there. What would Miles think, or even Jared? Would they be mad? Would they try to make him choose again? He wasn't sure if he could.
"You're a million miles away," Jared said, startling him out of his thoughts. "The movie is over."
"Sorry," Kyle apologized.
"Wanna talk?" Jared asked, sitting up. He closed the laptop and set it aside.
Kyle sighed sitting up as well. He wasn't sure what to say here. Miles was a sore subject with Jared. Especially since Kyle was still keeping them both in their weird limbo or a relationship. He couldn't stand to lose either of them.
"It's nothing," Kyle said.
"So it has nothing to do with what Dr Jacobi said and you thinking that maybe it truly might be why you're so reckless lately and maybe why you kissed Miles and kept going back to him," Jared said insightfully.
"You can read me so well," Kyle commented. He looked away from Jared. He hadn't realized how transparent he was.
"Only because I know you so well," Jared said, reaching out for his hand.
Kyle took a breath and looked up at the older man. He saw the pleading in his eyes. He knew Jared wanted to talk about this, but he wasn't ready.
"Jer," Kyle said.
Jared leaned in and kissed him softly. Kyle leaned into the kiss. He brought a hand up to Jared's cheek and held him close. They parted both with small goofy smiles.
"I love you," Jared said softly.
"I love you too," Kyle said.
"Let's not count our chickens just yet," Jared said, "let's wait and see what this scan says."
Kyle nodded his head. Leave it to Jared to know what to say to take away his anxiety. To not force him to talk about things he didn't want to talk about. He knew they would have to have this conversation sooner or later, but for now they were ok.