Recent chapters have remained visible the last few days, so I think the glitch has been remedied. But just in case, please continue to inform me if any future uploads disappear.
Anyway, next episode is "Scare Tactics." What'd I think of this one? I liked it for the most part, especially the moments where Scratch and Geoff bonded. I do have two notes though:
Number one, the song is way too short. I understand they probably had to cut it for time and everything, but again, I wish there were full soundtrack versions of these songs because this is one I would listen to on loop if a soundtrack version existed. I'm a sucker for cheesy disco.
Number two, Molly's fear of spiders kinda bothered me. The whole purpose of her character is that she's not easily scared, right? That's why Scratch had such a hard time getting her out of the house after he first met her. So, the fact that we learn one of the few things she's terrified of is a thing that most people are afraid of is a little baffling. I mean, you'd think it would have been one of the first things Scratch tried, right? I don't know. I do sort of address it here, so maybe that's good enough? Probably not, though.
Okay, let's get started!
Stretch, Stinkie, & Fatso: Muahahahahahaaaa!
Molly: Can't believe you're all mine
Fatso: Uh, what?
Molly: You and me for all time
Stretch: No way!
Molly: I'm never, ever, EVER gonna be alone again
Stinkie: This stinks!
Molly: It's just you three and me
Fatso: For all eternity?!
Molly: For all ETERNITY!
Stretch, Stinkie, & Fatso: NOOOO!
Molly & Ghostly Trio: It's the Ghost-Ghostly Trio and Molly McGee
Fatso: We've been cursed!
Stinkie: It's the worst!
Molly: Now you're stuck with me
Molly & Ghostly Trio: We're never gonna be apart
Stretch: Is there a way to hit 'restart'?
Molly: Nope!
Molly & Ghostly Trio: We're the Ghost-Ghostly Trio and Molly McGee
Molly: That's me!
Stinkie: Well, that's she. Hee, hee, hee!
Molly & Ghostly Trio: Ghostly Trio and Molly McGee!
Fatso: Oh yeah!
Chapter 29
A Lesson Before Dying (Again)
It was very early in the morning at the McGee household. A time when the whole family would normally still be asleep, including the Ghostly Trio. However, this morning the three of them were wide awake for once, although not because they wanted to, but because they had important ghost business they had to deal with.
Molly was still snoring away in bed by the time they got up, so they had to be extra careful not to wake her. Otherwise, she would start badgering them to hang out like she always did.
Stretch grabbed a few pencils and a notepad from the chest in the corner of the room and stuffed them into the backpack around his shoulder.
"Is that everything?" Stinkie whispered.
"I think so." Stretch replied. "C'mon, let's beat it before she wakes up."
The Trio proceeded to tiptoe across the floor, but along the way, Fatso tripped and bumped into the coat hanger, knocking it over. The resulting crash ended up pushing a fan into a lava lamp sitting atop the dresser. The lamp then fell onto a bean bag chair, launching a doll that was sitting on it into the air. The doll hit one of the lanterns hanging from the ceiling and it fell to the floor, rolling into a toy car. The toy car bumped into the easel, causing it to fall over on top of a box of craft supplies. A ball of yarn flew out of said box and the Trio ducked before it could hit them. But the yarn ended up landing on top of a toy bird hanging over Molly's bed and spun around. Finally, the yarn was thrown toward the dresser, knocking out everything inside. Luckily, the Trio managed to catch all of the objects before they piled onto Molly.
"Phew…" they sighed.
"Boy, that was a close one." Stretch noted.
"I'll say." Stinkie panted.
At that moment, the malodorous ghost passed a tiny bit of gas. While he was floating over Molly.
"Huh?" she coughed herself awake. "What's going on?"
Stretch and Fatso gave Stinkie a glare.
"Heh, heh. Sorry. Nervous toots."
Molly beamed when she saw the Trio.
"Hey guys!" she gasped. "You're up early. Why are you up early?"
"Uh, never mind that, kiddo." Stretch tried to push Molly back down onto the bed. "Go back to sleep."
"Sleep? I don't need sleep!" she jumped up and squeezed the Trio. "I run on the thrill of friendship! So…whatcha wanna do today? Huh? Huh? Huh? Go on, tell me! The anticipation is killing me!"
The ghosts phased out of her arms.
"Okay, look." Stretch started. "Every other day you ask us to hang and we say 'no,' we usually don't got a good excuse, right? Today, we do. And that excuse is we have to go to some mandatory scarin' seminar."
"Ooh, sounds fun!" Molly poked Stretch in the belly. "Is it fun? Huh? Is it?"
"It's mandatory." Stretch informed her. "Ya know what 'mandatory' means, right? To put it bluntly, it's an adjective for somethin' that is never fun ever. The scarin' seminar is the same thing year after year. Every time, we're required to sit through the same borin' presentation and listen to the same borin' lectures from the same borin' ghost curriculum. It's pointless!"
"It's torture!" Stinkie added.
"It's a small world after all!" Fatso sang, earning a punch in the face from Stretch.
"But the worst part is the seminar instructors." Stretch claimed.
"Yeah, we always get stuck with the most spiritless spirits of all time!" Stinkie mentioned. "Ghosts who are so dull, they can make a rock look excitin'."
"Hey, remember when Ms. Banshee was the instructor?" Fatso recalled. "She always made sure we were engaged."
The Trio reminisced on the last time their crush had taught the seminar.
"Now then, who can tell me what the three fundamentals of a good scare are?" Ms. Banshee had asked. "Anyone? Anyone?"
The Trio had been sitting up front, not really listening, as they were too distracted by how gorgeous their teacher looked.
"PAY ATTENTION, YOU DEADBEATS!" Ms. Banshee screamed in their faces.
The Trio sighed blissfully at the memory.
"Just hasn't been the same since she left." Stretch shook his head and opened up a portal. "Well, either way, you'll have to survive without us today. I'm sure you'll manage. Wish us luck."
"Luck is wished!" Molly waved as the Trio made their exit. She then noticed the damage around her room. "Huh. I don't remember making this mess, but I sure hope past Molly had some fun."
The Trio's portal dropped them off in a classroom in the Ghost World. An assortment of other ghosts were already seated in chairs, chatting amongst themselves, throwing paper airplanes, and generally creating havoc. Stretch felt a spitball hit him in the back of the head.
"It's gonna be a long day…" he groaned.
Just then, Ms. Banshee entered the room through the floor. The Trio's eyes bulged out upon seeing her.
"Wait, is that Ms. B?" Fatso observed.
"Well whaddya know? She musta come outta retirement." Stinkie guessed.
"Huh. Maybe this won't be so bad after all." Stretch hoped.
"Ahem. Class?" Ms. Banshee clapped her hands. "Settle down, please. Class?"
Nobody was listening, however.
"…QUIEEEEEEET!" Ms. Banshee bellowed and everyone instantly sat down in their seats and shut up. "That's better. Now, as I'm sure most of you know, my name is Ms. Banshee."
"Oh we know who you are…" Stretch whistled in a flirty way.
"And boy are we glad!" Stinkie giggled.
"Over here, cutie pie!" Fatso blew a kiss.
"Oh. It's you three." Ms. Banshee rolled her eyes. "Fantastic."
Stretch approached the Ghost Council member.
"So, ya decided to return to teachin', eh? Well, ya couldn't have picked a better time to come back, since I'm in today's class. Let me guess; was that yer plan?"
Ms. Banshee tried to move away, but Stretch wrapped an arm around her.
"Well, since you're here and all, how's about makin' me the 'teacher's pet'? If ya know what I mean…"
Ms. Banshee snarled. "First of all, Stretch, I will never, under absolutely no circumstances, not in a million years, EVER GO OUT WITH YOOOOUUUU!"
Stretch was blown back to his seat.
"And secondly," Ms. Banshee went on. "I'm not here to teach the seminar. Which brings me to my announcement."
As if on cue, a short, elderly ghost with a monotonous expression phased through the door.
"Everyone, please say hello to this year's scaring seminar instructor, Selma Erable. Or as you shall call her, Miss Erable."
"Hi, Miss Erable…" the whole class groaned.
"Now, I expect you all to sit quietly and listen to what Miss Erable has to say." Ms. Banshee turned to the Trio. "That goes for you three especially! If I hear about even one misdemeanor from her, YOU'LL ANSWER TO MEEEEE!"
The Trio ducked under their desks fearfully.
"Well, they're all yours." Ms. Banshee informed Miss Erable. "Have fun!"
Once Ms. Banshee had left, Miss Erable floated up to the chalkboard and wrote something on it.
"We'll begin with an overview of the SCARE system." she said in an uninspiring tone. "As you all should know, SCARE stands for Surprise, Creep, Alarm, Roar, and Ectoplasm. The system was first developed by the great Professor Albert Frankenstein in 1927. I will now read a very detailed description for each of the five elements of SCARE. First, there's Surprise…"
Fatso yawned. "How is it that we've only just started and it feels like we've been here an eternity?"
"Even playin' with Molly would be better than this." Stinkie groaned. "She may be exhaustin', but at least she never puts us to sleep."
"There's gotta be some way to get outta this…" Stretch wondered.
Suddenly, the three heard clicking from a laptop and they turned their heads to see someone familiar.
"Poil?"
The blonde ghost looked over. "Oh, hey you guys! Wow, never thought we'd end up in the same seminar."
"Yeah, what are the odds, right?" Stretch quipped.
"Hm. I think those are the numbers that are the opposite of even." Poil answered ignorantly.
Stretch chose not to comment. "Listen, this presentation is a slog. We got better things to do than listen to an all-day lecture. So we was thinkin' we should make like a tree and leave!"
"Why would ya wanna be a tree?" Poil asked. "All they do is sit around all day. They can't move or go anywhere. I definitely wouldn't wanna be one. Although it would be kinda nice to have apples grow in my hair."
"No, you dolt!" Stretch scolded. "I'm sayin' we should get out of here!"
"What? But we can't do that! The seminar is required, remember?"
"Lighten up! It ain't like this stuff is new, we hear it every year. And besides, the only real requirement to these things is showin' up for the beginnin' and bein' there at the end. So, all's we gotta do is make sure we get back before the head count and we'll be fine."
"Well…" Poil still seemed unsure.
"C'mon Poil," Stretch encouraged. "Don't ya wanna spend some time with your best buddies?"
"Don't ya wanna have some fun?" Stinkie persuaded.
"Don't ya want me, baby?" Fatso belted out.
"I want you to zip it!" Stretch literally zipped Fatso's mouth shut.
"Well, I do wanna spend time with yous guys…" Poil mumbled. "Especially since this is the first time you're askin' me…"
"So, are ya in or what?" Stretch pressured.
Poil thought for a minute and then smiled. "I'm in!"
"Good!" Stretch pulled her closer. "Now listen up! Here's the plan…"
Meanwhile, Molly was still up in her room. With the Trio gone the whole day, she needed someone to have fun with. The only problem was she couldn't seem to find anyone who was free.
"No, I understand, Libby." she spoke into her phone. "Dental hygiene is important. So, you enjoy your appointment. Talk to you later."
She hung up and laid back on her bed.
"Aw man…she was my last hope! Mom's out gig-pigging, Dad's at an emergency council meeting, and Darryl…well, I don't know where he's at because he told me not to ask. So, who am I supposed to hang with?"
She turned her head and noticed a pile of her toys sitting in the corner.
"Well, you guys don't look busy!" she picked up a stuffed unicorn. "You wanna hang out?" she spoke in a goofy voice. "'Sure Molly! We're always available for you'! Aw, thanks Twinklespot! So, what do you wanna do first? 'You could reorganize us. I'm tired of sitting next to Baby Jessie.'"
Molly glanced at the creepy-looking baby doll in the back and shuddered.
"Yeah…I don't blame you. In fact, maybe it's time she be put in the donation bag."
Molly picked up a sack and tossed Baby Jessie in. Then, without a second thought, she threw the bag out the window.
"Okay, that's done." Molly pretended to be Twinklespot again. "'Uh, maybe you should throw out Teddy Trazbear next. He gives me the creeps, too.'"
Molly looked at the brown bear plushie with the bowtie and top hat.
"Aw, don't be silly, Twinklespot. He's got a charm to his creepiness. Just like the Trio! Now, let's see. I'll start by organizing you all by cuddleosity!"
The tween scooped up all her stuffed animals and started putting them in their proper spots.
"First, the most huggable, then the most fluffy, and…done!"
Even though the toys were in exactly the same positions as before, Molly was satisfied with her work.
"Perfect! And for my next activity on my 'Alone Day'…"
Before she could say any more, her pile of toys began to wiggle suspiciously, as if there was something crawling behind them.
"Uh…what was that?" Molly worried.
The wiggling continued, making the girl's paranoia increase. Slowly and fearfully, she reached out to move Twinklespot to see what was causing the toys' sudden movement. When her hand touched the stuffed unicorn, she moved its head aside and…
"Boo." Miss Erable said nonchalantly back in the Ghost World classroom. "Some of you may be familiar with this term as the most common expression used in a jumpscare. The jumpscare was first invented in…"
As the dull ghost rambled on, Poil and the Trio sat in the back of the room, secretly working to put Stretch's big idea in motion. This involved creating decoys of themselves out of jell-o, so nobody would figure out they had left.
Fatso licked his fingers after finishing his own gelatinous replica.
"Don't know why she's gotta make a lesson on the word 'boo' so soulless. If ya ask me, all she needs to do is sing this: Ohh…three little letters, one little word, has to be the sweetest sound that I ever he-mmph!" his mouth was stuffed with jell-o by Stretch.
"No time for obscure references! We gotta get these things done so's we can sneak out!"
"I think mine's good to go!" Poil interrupted, admiring her finished sculpture. "Although it is missin' something."
"Yeah, a brain." Stinkie joked. "Well…actually, if yer tryin' to make it exactly like you, I guess it don't need one!"
Poil scratched her chin and then beamed. "I got it!"
The younger phantom plucked her pink bow off her head and set it atop her jell-o mold. "Now it's perfect!"
"Okay! Let's put 'em in our chairs!" Stretch instructed.
The four of them set the molds in their seats and headed for the door while no one was looking.
"They're so afterlife-like!" Stretch exclaimed. "No one will know the difference!"
"Hey, you." Miss Erable pointed across the room. "Yeah, you with the bow."
"Uh-oh!" Poil fretted. "She found us out!"
"No, she didn't! You ain't wearin' a bow, yer lookalike is!" Stretch reminded her. "See?"
"Eyes up here." Miss Erable ordered.
Stretch pushed the jell-o Poil's head forward, giving the illusion it was actually listening.
"That's better. Glad to see you're engaged." Miss Erable stated emotionlessly. "Now, as I was saying about the production of ectoplasm…"
"Ha!" Stretch guffawed as he and the others exited the classroom. "What'd I tell ya? She couldn't even tell it was a dummy!"
"Actually, she couldn't tell it was a fake dummy." Stinkie corrected, gesturing to Poil. "She thought she was lookin' at the real one."
Poil didn't seem bothered by the insult. "We did it, fellas! We actually did it! So, what happens next?"
"Well, the presentation is supposed to keep goin' for at least a few more hours, so we have until then to do basically whatever we want!" Stretch patted Poil on the back. "Get ready, kid. 'Cause this is gonna be the greatest day of our entire existence! Although it's probably a lower bar for you."
"Oh goodie!" Poil squealed. "Let's go, let's go, let's go!"
She excitedly pulled Stretch along and Stinkie and Fatso followed.
"Hey," Fatso spoke up. "Since we got a ton of free time, maybe we should go check on Molly."
"Eh, she'll be fine." Stinkie insisted. "Don't worry about it."
"But we've always been there for her for so long, she probably ain't used to bein' alone. What if she's scared?"
"Scared? Please. This is Molly we're talkin' about. That gal has no fear. Remember when she first moved in? We tried literally everything to scare 'er out of the house and nothin' worked!"
"Well, what if there's somethin' we didn't try?" Fatso wondered.
"Yeah, right! We hit her with all of the things a majority of fleshies fear. Snakes, killer clowns, cartoon reboots…" Stinkie listed off on his hand. "What could we have possibly missed?"
As the unhygienic specter was saying this, Molly was shaking and sweating nervously back in her room. She had just picked up Twinklespot to find the source of his wobbling and her eyes were darting back and forth across the pile of toys. But ultimately, she didn't see anything.
"Whew…" she put Twinklespot back in his place. "Must have just been my imagination."
But when she looked down again, she was met with horror as a furry, eight-legged creature was now sitting atop her stuffed unicorn and staring directly at her with its eight eyes.
"AAAAHH!"
Molly screamed and accidentally kicked Twinklespot across the room.
"Oh no!" she rushed over and scooped him up. "I'm so sorry, Twinklespot! It was a reflex!" she spoke for him again. "'You kicked me in the face.' Well, I said I was sorry, didn't I? Let it go already."
Molly turned around and saw the hideous monster crawling across her floor. Upon getting a second look, she recognized it as Heidi Hairylegs, Darryl's pet tarantula. Heidi looked over at Molly and began crawling towards her.
"No, no, no!" Molly begged while hugging Twinklespot. "Stay away from me!"
Feeling cornered, Molly hopped onto her bed, hoping Heidi couldn't reach her there. Sure enough, the arachnid didn't even bother trying to climb up and scurried in the other direction.
"Oh corn…" Molly shivered. "Well, at least I'm not having as bad of a day as the Trio. I mean, you could argue I'm at least having a more exciting time. Meanwhile, they've gotta be totally miserable at that scaring seminar…right?"
As it turns out, the Trio were actually the complete opposite of miserable, because instead of wasting the day away in a classroom, they had gone to the Spirit Spa for an ectoplasmic massage and aroma-scare-apy.
"Ahh…" Stretch sighed as a masseuse rubbed his back. "This is perfect. Beats bein' at that seminar, huh Poil?"
"You said it…" Poil agreed. "I can't believe I wanted to stay at first to make myself smarter. Boy, was that a dumb idea."
"I can already feel all my stress melting away…" Fatso said, his body literally melting onto the floor.
"Eh." Stinkie shrugged from his table. "This aroma-scare-apy is nice and all, but it could use a little more…aroma. I'll fix that!"
Stretch's eyes widened. "Wait, don't!"
But it was too late, as Stinkie had belched, filling the room with a stench cloud that knocked out the others, including the masseuses.
"Who needs a massage when you can have a gassage?" Stinkie claimed before belching again.
Molly peered over her bed to see if Heidi Hairylegs was still in the room, and much to her dismay, she was.
"Aw man, this is my worst nightmare…" she told herself, still hugging Twinklespot. "Trapped with Darryl's pet spider! And the worst part is…I have to face it alone!" she turned her unicorn plushie's head. "'Alone? What about me?' Oh, right. I guess I'm not completely alone, but we can both agree there's not much you can do to contribute to this situation, right? If only the Trio were here. They'd probably just scare that creepy spider away."
It was then Molly got an idea.
"Hey…maybe I can scare Heidi away myself! Yeah, that's it! If the Trio can do it, so can I! Great idea, huh Twinklespot?"
After a long pause, Molly made Twinklespot answer.
"'You're totally doomed.' Pfft, why do you have to be such a downer all the time? Unicorns are supposed to be the ultimate symbols of joy and positivity!"
Just then, Heidi Hairylegs approached Molly's bed again.
"Eep!" Molly jumped. "Okay, okay. Relax. Just think. What would the Trio do in this dilemma? Hm. Well, Stretch would probably start making goofy faces. So…take this, Heidi!"
Molly attempted to copy the terrifying faces Stretch made whenever he tried to scare someone. But she ended up coming across as more ridiculous than scary and Heidi didn't budge.
"What? Not even a flinch? Okay, well…let's see how you handle my next move! Stinkie would drive you out with his toxic death breath! Better hold your nose! Smell-o-gram!"
She took a breath and blew in Heidi's direction. Once again, Heidi had no reaction.
Molly breathed into her hand and sniffed it.
"Hm. I don't know why I thought that would work since I did just brush my teeth. But no matter! I'll just hit you with one of Fatso's moves instead! I bet belting out a super annoying showtune will entice you to leave!" Molly got off her bed, cleared her throat, and started singing. "Oh what a beautiful moooorniiiing! Oh what a beautiful daaa-AAAAHH!"
She shrieked as Heidi crawled toward her again, prompting her to hide under her bed covers.
Meanwhile, the Trio and Poil continued their day of slacking off by going to the Haughty Haunts Club. The four of them were showing off their best moves on the dance floor.
Playin' hooky-hooky
Feel that groove
Playin' hooky
Bust an ectoplasmic move
Playin' hooky
Everyone in the club soon noticed them getting down and watched with fascination.
"Yeah, baby! Work it!"
"Watch me do the stanky leg!"
"Best…skip day…ever!"
"Wheee!"
The friends continued to have as much fun as possible, though eventually they were kicked out after Fatso ate all the snacks and Stinkie let one out in the middle of dancing. They didn't care, however, as it was the most fun they had had all day.
Singin' songs
Eatin' food
Gettin' bounced for bein' rude
Playin' hooky!
Back at the house, Heidi Hairylegs was creepily scuttling in circles on Molly's bedroom floor, making Molly even more freaked out than she had been before. She was desperate to get rid of the furry fiend, so she called Darryl up on her phone.
"Darryl! Where are you? You need to get home and deal with your pet spider! It's in my room!"
"Kinda busy right now." Darryl responded.
Molly thought she could hear the sound of a horse neighing, but decided not to ask.
"Just leave her alone." Darryl suggested. "She's due to have her babies any day now."
Molly froze with terror.
"Uh…babies? As in…more than one?!"
"More than one? We're talkin' hundreds."
"Hundreds?!"
"Maybe thousands."
Molly dropped her phone, feeling as if her life was flashing before her eyes.
"A thousand…baby…TARANTULAS?!"
"And that is what we call 'escalation.'" Miss Erable advised her class with the same un-enthusiasm she had used all day. "You think a fleshie is scared now? Make it worse. You need to dive into that fear like a freshwater pond."
At that moment, Poil and the Trio had snuck their way back into the room. Their gelatin sculptures were still where they left them, meaning no one had grown wise to their disappearance. They all hopped back into their chairs, eating their respective jell-o molds while doing so.
"See? I knew we could get away with it!" Stretch snickered to Poil.
"Just in case, I covered my decoy with spoiled milk." Stinkie mentioned.
"Mmm…" Fatso licked his lips. "I taste like blue raspberry…"
"I guess you three were right." Poil put her bow back in. "You really can break the rules without gettin' any consequences!"
"Well, that concludes this year's scaring seminar." Miss Erable announced.
"Looks like we got back in the nick of time." Stretch laid back, proud of his scheme.
Just then, Ms. Banshee reentered the room.
"Hello, class." she greeted. "I thought I'd stop by to see how things were going. Hopefully, you all were paying attention to the presentation."
"Oh, they were." Miss Erable nodded with the same boring look on her face. "I think they found it to be very informative."
Ms. Banshee noticed Poil and the Trio laughing to themselves and raised an eyebrow in suspicion.
"I see. Well, maybe we should find out just how much information they absorbed."
Ms. Banshee floated to the front of the classroom.
"Ahem! Class, as I'm sure you're aware, we normally end our scaring seminars with a simple head count. But this year, we're going to be doing things a little differently."
Poil and the Trio's faces fell.
"Uh…did she say 'differently'?" Stretch worried.
"That's right." Ms. Banshee went on. "It's time for a pop quiz! Each one of you is going to come up to the board and demonstrate what you learned today. And to make things a little more interesting, you'll be doing it in front of our very special guest…"
She put her fingers in her mouth and whistled. Suddenly, a portal opened up from behind her and a tall, skeletal-like figure in a black cloak stepped out of it, much to the entire class's horror. Especially the Trio and Poil.
"Ah, thank you for joining us, Mr. Chairman." Ms. Banshee grinned. "All right, class. Let's get started, shall we? Make sure you do your very best. Because if you don't…IT'S THE FLOW OF FAILED PHANTOMS FOR YOOOOUUUU!"
The Chairman raised his finger and a portal that led to the aforementioned flow opened up. Poil and the Trio sunk in their chairs.
"Aw man…"
"This stinks…"
"I take it back, this is the worst skip day ever…"
While this was happening, Molly had come up with another plan to get Heidi Hairylegs out of her room. This plan involved standing as far away from the tarantula as possible and pushing a toy bus toward her with an umbrella.
"Hey there, Heidi…" Molly encouraged. "Look what I got you. It's a bus that'll take you to the…uh…tarantula hospital! Yeah! It's the perfect place to lay those eggs of yours! Whaddya say, huh?"
Heidi blinked up at Molly and then got into the toy bus.
"That's it…good girl…"
With Heidi in position, Molly jumped onto the toy vehicle and shut it, trapping the spider inside.
"Yes! I caught her!" she stood up, holding the bus in her hands. "Okay, Heidi. Just sit tight. I'm gonna get you back to your cage now. Then you can have your…" she retched slightly. "Thousands of babies…ugh. So, have you thought of names for those little buggers? Or are you just going to keep it simple and name them all Jim or something?"
Heidi's response was to reach one of her legs out the bus window and lightly tap Molly's hand.
"GAAAH!" Molly shrieked, shaking the toy around. "Get it off, get it off, GET IT OFF!"
Molly was so startled, that she accidentally backed into the attic door and fell to the lower floor.
"Whooooaaa-OOF!" she landed on her face.
The bus dropped in front of her and Heidi tapped her again, this time on the nose.
"EEEEEEEEK!"
Molly began running around in a panic while covering her eyes, acting as if she had been infected with something. She then tripped over the bus and tumbled all the way down the stairs.
"Whooa! Oof! Ow! Oof! Owwww!"
The bus soon followed, but to Molly's alarm, it was now empty.
"Oh no. No, no, no, no, no!" she hyperventilated. "This can't be happening! Where'd she go? Oh corn, oh corn…She's probably having her babies right now as I speak! Which means…soon the whole house will be overrun by hairy, eight-legged, eight-eyed somewhat-adorable-but-mostly-creepy monsters! Nowhere is safe…"
At that moment, Molly felt like she could cry. And she wasn't the only one, as back in the Ghost World, Ms. Banshee was still testing each of the students and one of them had gotten such a bad case of stage fright that he just burst into tears.
"Oh there, there." Ms. Banshee cooed. "It's all right. We all make mistakes. There's nothing to be ashamed of. Oh wait. Yes there is. Because YOU FAAAAAILLLL!"
Her booming voice sent the crying ghost into the portal that led to the Flow of Failed Phantoms.
"All right, who's next?" Ms. Banshee checked her list. "Ah! Poil! Let's see what you can do."
Poil gulped and reluctantly floated to the blackboard. "Aw gee…I ain't prepared at all…"
Stretch nudged the ghost sitting next to him.
"Hey, you! Mind if I peep at yer notes for a sec? Not that I didn't take notes of my own, mind ya. I just wanna make sure I didn't forget anything. Never hurts to do some last-minute preparation, right?"
The ghost didn't answer Stretch, instead stuffing a piece of paper into her mouth.
"I'm guessin' she didn't take any notes." Fatso whispered to Stinkie.
"Yeesh, she makes Poil look like a genius." Stinkie agreed.
"Not enough of a genius to pass the seminar, though." Stretch sighed. "Well, at least we'll have someone we know with us while we float endlessly for all eternity."
"Okay, Poil. Let's see you demonstrate the Kloster-Iron Roar." Ms. Banshee said.
Poil looked down nervously. "Well, I'll try."
The young ghoul suddenly grew bigger and her blonde hair stuck up as if it had been struck by lightning. She then let out a huge shriek that could give Ms. Banshee's a run for her money. The entire class was stunned, Ms. Banshee included. Afterwards, Poil returned to her normal, cuter self.
"Was that okay?"
"Was it okay?" Ms. Banshee beamed. "That was brilliant! I'm amazed, Poil! Keep up the good work!"
The former teacher retrieved her clipboard and wrote an 'A' next to Poil's name.
"Thanks, Ms. B!" Poil acknowledged before returning to her seat.
"Poil!" Stretch wailed. "How the heck did you do that?!"
"Oh, it wasn't hard." Poil shrugged. "It's the same stuff we learn at every seminar. And until today, I've always payed attention to 'em."
"Then…why'd you act so nervous when ya went up there?" Stinkie inquired.
"'Cause it gives the impression ya don't know what yer doin'. That way when ya do it, everyone's more impressed with ya."
"Great." Stretch slammed his head on his desk. "Not only are we about to be banished to the flow forever, but we'll go out knowin' Poil is a better scarer than us. How humiliatin'!"
"How degradin'!" Stinkie whined.
"How deep is your love?" Fatso blurted out.
"Not very." Stretch answered, whacking Fatso with a pencil.
"Stretch! Stinkie! Fatso!" Ms. Banshee called. "Since the three of you like drawing so much attention to yourselves, why don't you all demonstrate the next scare?"
Stretch chuckled sheepishly. "Uh...us? I dunno about that."
"And why not?"
"Well…it's just that we paid so much attention durin' the presentation that we're practically experts in scarin' now! And if we went up there, we'd perform the scare so flawlessly that it'll look like we're showin' off! The last thing we wanna do is make the other ghosts feel bad, ya know?"
Ms. Banshee got in Stretch's face.
"Perhaps I wasn't clear. THAT WASN'T A REQUEEEESST!" she screamed. "Now get your paranormal rears up to the front of the classroom or you all fail!"
Terrified, the Trio did as they were told.
"Now then," Ms. Banshee began. "Normally, I test each ghost's scare potential individually. But since you three prefer to terrify together, I'm going to have all of you perform a cooperative scare. In this case, you will be demonstrating the Rip-Dash scare."
"Oh…heh, heh…" Stretch started to sweat. "Is that all? No problem! That's child's play for us! Right, the Rip-Dash scare…um…well, obviously it involves rippin' one of your partners' heads off…"
Stretch removed Stinkie's head.
"And then 'dashing' it toward your other partner!" he threw the severed head at Fatso.
"Ow!"
"'Dash' is another word for 'throw,' kids." Stretch remarked on the side. "Look it up. So, how was that, Ms. B? Perfect demonstration, right?"
"No." Ms. Banshee answered. "Not even close!"
Stinkie put his head back on. "Heh, heh…I think Stretch was just kiddin' around. Everyone knows a real Rip-Dash scare involves a different kind of rippin' and dashin'. Allow me to illustrate the proper method."
Stinkie got in between his brothers and proceeded to "rip" one. The rest of the class choked from the odor.
"That was the 'rip' part." Stinkie explained. "And now…ya 'dash' away!" he phased through the chalkboard. "Thereby leavin' the fleshie to succumb to the toxins ya left behind."
When the air cleared, Stinkie came out of hiding.
"So, do I get an 'A'?"
"Only if the 'A' stands for 'Abysmal'!" Ms. Banshee coughed.
"Uh…should I take that as a compliment?"
Fatso stepped up. "Okay, enough with the jokes! I'll show ya how a real Rip-Dash scare is done!"
"Well?" Ms. Banshee crossed her arms impatiently.
"Um…"
Fatso tried to think on the spot, but his mind kept coming up blank. Eventually, he just turned himself inside out and did jazz hands.
"Ta-dah?"
Poil cringed and covered her eyes while Stretch facepalmed. Stinkie shook his head.
"My version was better."
Ms. Banshee was very angry at this point.
"You three are the biggest disgraces known to ghostkind! Not only did you completely botch your scaring demonstration, but you disregarded all of Miss Erable's hard work to present you with this material and disrespected her in the process!"
"It's true. I've never felt more hurt and ashamed than I do now." Miss Erable said, though her tone lacked any hint of real disappointment. "And here I was trying to make the lesson fun and engaging for everyone."
"That's it! You leave me no choice!"
Ms. Banshee took out her pen and wrote 'F's' next to each of the Trio's names on the attendance sheet.
"I'm going to miss you boys…NOOOOOOT!"
The Chairman held out his finger again, reopening the portal that led to the Flow of Failed Phantoms, and the Trio felt themselves being sucked in.
"Wait! C'mon, can't we talk about this?!" Stretch pleaded while grasping the floor in desperation.
"At least read us our Miranda rights!" Stinkie requested.
"I want my Mommy!" Fatso bawled.
"Wait!"
Ms. Banshee and the Chairman turned to where they heard the voice and realized it was coming from Poil.
"Ya can't send the Trio to the flow!" Poil argued. "They're my best buddies! Sure, they may have failed the scarin' test miserably…"
"Oh c'mon! 'Miserably'?" Stretch complained. "That's a little much, ain't it?"
"But that don't make them complete failures!" Poil continued. "The truth is, they got a whole different way of interactin' with fleshies! It's innovative! Groundbreakin' even!"
Intrigued, the Chairman closed the portal.
"Poil!" Stretch stood up. "I thought we agreed to keep me and the boys' 'fleshie frightenin' method' to ourselves?" he turned to Ms. Banshee and the Chairman. "Uh, don't mind her. We can just retake the test next year, right fellas?"
Stinkie and Fatso nodded.
"Oh yeah!"
"Definitely!"
"So, whaddya say, Ms. B?" Stretch gave his crush big, pleading eyes.
"Actually, I think I would prefer to see this 'special method' for myself." Ms. Banshee disagreed. "I think the entire class would. And I bet you would too, Mr. Chairman. Isn't that right?"
The Chairman remained still and quiet as always, staring into the Trio's souls. The brothers huddled together in fear. Ms. Banshee then opened another portal, this one leading to the Trio's home. They were really starting to panic now.
Stretch blocked Ms. Banshee's view. "No, no, really! It's okay! We don't mind waitin' for the next seminar! And besides, we're kinda still workin' out the kinks in this technique. It's not really ready to see yet, ya know what I mean?"
"Stretch…" Ms. Banshee warned. "OUT OF THE WAAAAAYYY!"
Stretch blew back toward Stinkie and Fatso and the three huddled once more. Molly's room was soon visible from the portal and the Trio covered their eyes, worried that the whole class was about to get a glimpse of the best friend shrine Molly made for them. They anticipated hearing her laughing or singing about how much she loved them…but instead, they heard something completely different.
"Stretch! Stinkie! Fatso! Why did you leave me like this?!" Molly's voice cried out.
The Trio uncovered their eyes to take a peek inside the portal. There Molly was, curled up on the floor with a broom in her hand. She appeared to be crying.
"My worst nightmare come to life!" Molly continued. "I'm in agony! Waaahhh!"
The portal then closed up, leaving the Trio utterly stunned.
"Well." Ms. Banshee cleared her throat. "I underestimated you three. Clearly, you're doing way better than I expected. Maybe we all should be taking scaring lessons from you."
The Trio beamed.
"R-R-Really?" Stretch stuttered. "So…does that mean…?"
"Boys? I am proud to say…you all pass!"
Ms. Banshee quickly changed the Trio's F's into A's and the Chairman gave them a thumbs-up.
"Congratulations, fellas!" Poil applauded.
Overjoyed, the Trio hugged each other.
"Yeah! We did it!"
"We rule!"
"We built this city on rock and roll!"
Stretch approached Ms. Banshee again.
"Well, I'm glad you're so impressed, Ms. B." he flirted. "Ya know, if ya ever wanna improve yer scarin' game, maybe we could give you a few pointers. Say, I dunno, over dinner?"
"A candlelit dinner?" Stinkie added.
"Preferably a buffet?" Fatso suggested.
Ms. Banshee smiled. "Now boys, I may have been impressed…BUT I STILL WON'T GO OUT WITH ANY OF YOOOOOUUUU!"
Ms. Banshee's voice sent the Trio hurtling into a portal that led to their home. Afterwards, she clapped her hands in a satisfied manner.
"I missed this job."
When the Trio arrived back in the world of the living, they landed in the McGees' front yard, where they were surprised to see Molly standing.
"Moll! There ya are!" Stretch greeted. "You okay?"
"Who, me?" Molly scoffed while watering a few flowers. "I'm fine! Couldn't be better! Why do you ask?"
The Trio were confused, as the girl had been writhing in terror not even five minutes ago.
"Uh…no reason." Stretch shrugged and started to head toward the house.
"Sheesh, that gal's a mystery." Stinkie claimed, following Stretch. "One minute she's in anguish. The next, she's as calm as can be!"
"Yeah. And we still don't know what freaked her out so much to begin with." Fatso mentioned.
"Guys, no!" Molly warned, grabbing Stretch by the face. "Don't go in the house! It belongs to the spiders now…"
The Trio glanced at the front window and noticed Heidi Hairylegs crawling on it from the inside. Behind her was a whole mountain of baby tarantulas, the sight of which made Molly hyperventilate until she fainted.
"Oh…spiders." Stinkie realized. "How'd we forget that one?"
Ghostly Trio and Molly McGee!
I think this chapter holds the record for "most Fatso non-sequiturs." I usually try to put at least one in every chapter, but with this one, they just kept coming to me, so I put 'em in. That's how my writing process tends to work, by the way. I watch the episode and try to think of how the "Casper" characters would respond to something, then I basically write the first thing that comes to mind.
And yes, I did make a FNAF reference in 2025. But admit it, when you guys saw that teddy bear in the one scene, that's what you thought of too.
Next one is gonna be a tough one, both literally and figuratively. Review if you can.