Chapter 24: Melissa Robinson Needs Ace's Help

Melissa Robinson, a zookeeper at Edge City Zoo, and Ace's old flame, stood outside Ace Ventura's eccentric, jungle-themed house, hesitating for a moment before knocking on the door which had a sign that read: Animals welcome. All other visitors must make an appointment. She waited, listening for any sign of life inside. When no answer came, she stepped off the mat, which read: Welcome to the jungle, and walked around the back, knowing Ace had a habit of leaving unconventional entrances open. Sure enough, the back door was unlocked.

Stepping inside, she was instantly greeted by a cacophony of squawks, barks, and chirps. Several of Ace's pets rushed to her, clearly recognizing her from her time dating Ace. A capuchin monkey hopped onto her shoulder and began picking at her hair as if searching for insects. A pair of parrots flapped around her head, squawking, "She's baaaack! She-devil's baaaack!" in an obnoxiously dramatic tone.

"She-devil?" Melissa parroted back, patting a large St. Bernard that trotted over and nearly knocked her off balance. "Hey, big guy," she cooed, scratching him behind the ears. "I see Ace is still running a full-blown zoo here."

A sudden thud startled her. She turned to see a penguin pop its head out of a deep freezer, shaking off the cold. It had a tag around its neck that read: Mr. Popper's Penguin.

Melissa raised an eyebrow. "Of course. Why am I not surprised?"

As the penguin waddled off, Melissa took a moment to take in Ace's home. It was exactly as she remembered—cluttered with bizarre artifacts, jungle decor, and... yep, still smelled like a mixture of animal fur and coconut shampoo. Her eyes drifted toward the walls, which were covered in photographs of Ace in some of the most ridiculous scenarios imaginable. There was one of him riding an elephant while wearing a top hat, another of him surfing on a zebra, and even a framed picture of him apparently in deep conversation with a family of meerkats.

Shaking her head with an amused sigh, she ventured deeper into the house, eventually making her way to Ace's bedroom. Predictably, it was a mess. The bed was unmade, pillows tossed carelessly onto the floor. On a nearby nightstand, there were half-empty bottles of exotic oils and a rubber chicken for some reason.

Feeling nostalgic, she crouched down and peeked under his bed. Amongst a few discarded, stiff socks, she found an old shoebox. Curious, she pulled it out and opened it. Inside were photos—photos of her and Ace together. A soft smile crept onto her lips as she flipped through them. There they were at the beach, at a carnival, at some weird reptile sanctuary where Ace was letting a snake dangle from his nose.

Then she pulled out another set of pictures—ones of her. Only in these, she was wearing lingerie. Very revealing lingerie. Melissa's eyes widened as she noticed that some of the pictures were a bit... stickier than they should be.

"Oh, gross, Ace…" she muttered, quickly shoving them back into the box and sliding it under the bed.

Standing up, she decided to check one more place—Ace's dresser. She rifled through a few drawers filled with Hawaiian shirts, mismatched socks, and a disturbingly large number of rubber gloves. Then, in the bottom drawer, something caught her eye.

A gleaming green mask.

Melissa stared at it, entranced. There was something almost hypnotic about it, as if it were calling out to her. Her fingers traced the smooth, otherworldly surface as she slowly lifted it from the drawer. A strange energy pulsed beneath her fingertips, and an unexplainable urge filled her—an urge to put it on.

Just as she was about to bring it to her face, a loud squawk erupted next to her ear.

"DON'T DO IT, LADY! SQUAAAWK!"

Startled, she fumbled the mask, nearly dropping it. A parrot had swooped past her, flapping its wings wildly.

Snapping out of the trance, she quickly wrapped the mask in a piece of newspaper and tucked it under her arm. With one last glance around the room, she grabbed a notepad from Ace's cluttered desk and scribbled him a note:

Ace—
Came to see you. Call me. It's important. –Melissa
(P.S. You are a deeply, deeply disturbed individual.)

She left the note on his pillow, along with a couple of the sticky pictures, took one last look at the chaotic but oddly comforting space, and slipped out the back door, the mask safely tucked under her arm.

Ace Ventura whistled a jaunty tune as he approached his home, twirling his keys around his finger. But the moment he stepped inside, he sensed something was off. The animals were all acting... suspiciously. His St. Bernard refused to meet his gaze, the parrots looked guilty, and the capuchin monkey was covering its eyes.

"What's wrong, fellas?" Ace asked, narrowing his eyes. He knelt beside his St. Bernard and gave him a few scratches. "You look like you just got caught eating my socks again—wait a minute…"

Ace sniffed the air dramatically, his nose twitching like a bloodhound. His face suddenly twisted in recognition. A perfume scent lingered in the air, one he knew all too well.

His eyes widened. "Melissa Robinson... the she-devil was here."

The animals collectively hung their heads lower, as if they had committed treason.

"TRAITORS!" Ace declared, pointing an accusatory finger at them before storming toward his bedroom.

He burst through the door and immediately spotted the note on his pillow. Picking it up, he read it quickly, his expression shifting from mild curiosity to suspicion. He then saw the old pictures she had dug out from under his bed, including the particularly personal ones.

A realization struck him like a bolt of lightning. If Melissa had looked under the bed... she might have also checked the dresser.

Ace lunged for the bottom drawer, yanking it open. Clothes flew in every direction as he frantically searched through the mess. But the mask... was gone.

His eyes twitched. His fingers clenched into fists. He grabbed Melissa's note and immediately dialed the number she left, tapping his foot impatiently as the phone rang.

"Oh, Melissa," he muttered under his breath. "You better have a good explanation for this."

Melissa answered the phone with a smirk. "She-devil speaking."

Ace wasted no time. "Where is it?"

"Where is what?" Melissa asked innocently.

"You know exactly what," Ace shot back.

Melissa chuckled. "Oh, you mean this old green mask?" she teased. "Figured it was the only way to get you to call me back. It's been a while... ever since When Nature Calls, that is."

Ace exhaled sharply. "Alright, what do you want? Besides... breaking my heart again."

Melissa scoffed. "Breaking your heart? Let's not rewrite history, Ace. You were the one who ran off to a monastery to 'find peace' or whatever that was."

"Hey!" Ace interjected. "I was going through a tough time. You didn't have to leave."

"Oh, so I was just supposed to wait around for a year while you figured yourself out? Be serious, Ace."

He sighed, rubbing his temples. "Fine. Let's cut to the chase. What do you want?"

Melissa explained to Ace that a highly intelligent chimpanzee named Caesar had mysteriously vanished from the zoo. She described Caesar as the most remarkable chimp she had ever encountered.

"Chimps are smarter than humans," Ace remarked confidently.

Melissa hesitated before responding. "I wouldn't go that far, but Caesar is certainly exceptional."

She went on to explain that a scientist named Will Rodman had brought Caesar to the zoo at a young age, hoping to keep him hidden from those who might be searching for him. Will believed the chimp would blend in seamlessly with the others, avoiding unwanted attention.

"What made Caesar so special?" Ace inquired.

Melissa recounted how Caesar had astonished the zoo staff by teaching sign language to the other chimpanzees. "I've never seen anything like it," she admitted.

Ace's curiosity was piqued. "So, where does this Will Rodman work?" he asked before adding with a smirk, "And how long did you two date?"

Melissa rolled her eyes. "We didn't date. He simply asked me to fabricate a cover story for Caesar's presence and swore me to secrecy. That was the extent of it."

"Hmm," Ace mused. "Intriguing story." He leaned back, rubbing his chin theatrically. "Alright, I'll take the case—on one condition."

Melissa raised an eyebrow. "And what might that be?" she asked, half-expecting a self-serving request.

An hour later, Ace was gleefully surfing atop a herd of zebras and riding the elephants at the zoo.

Melissa smiled, watching him have his Ace-like fun.

To be continued...