The Super Smash Mansion was never a place of peace, but today, it was about to become a circus of chaos, courtesy of one mischievous Koopa King.

Bowser had devised a plan so devious, so ridiculous, that he couldn't stop chuckling to himself as he snuck into Peach's room. He carefully avoided stepping on anything pink or overly princessy (which was hard because the entire room was a shrine to all things pink and princessy). And there, sitting atop a velvet pillow, was his golden prize—the Super Crown.

"Oh-ho-ho, this is gonna be good," Bowser muttered, rubbing his claws together.

You see, Bowser had recently been inspired by that one time he accidentally wore the Super Crown and transformed into "Bowsette," causing a rather terrifying amount of fan art and confusion across the Mushroom Kingdom. But this time, he had a different goal.

He wasn't going to wear it himself.

He was going to prank the male fighters and see how they looked as princesses.

And who better to start with than Mario and Luigi?

Bowser found Mario and Luigi in the Smash Mansion's living room, lounging on the couch and watching some old racing footage from Mario Kart 8 Deluxe. The Italian plumbers were in their usual outfits—Mario was snacking on a slice of pizza, while Luigi was reading the instruction manual for a vacuum cleaner.

"Hey, Mario," Luigi said, flipping a page. "Did you know if you press 'B' at just the right moment during a drift, you get extra speed?"

Mario, with cheese hanging from his mouth, nodded. "Yeah, yeah, of course. I invented that move."

"You did not!" Luigi protested.

"I did too!"

Bowser snickered as he tiptoed behind them, holding the Super Crown. He had coated the inside with a sticky automatic activation spell—meaning the moment it touched someone's head, BAM! Instant transformation.

He held it over Mario's head, then plopped it down.

In a flash of sparkles and magic, Mario let out a very un-Mario-like squeal.

"MAMA MIA!"

Luigi turned, his eyes widening in horror as he watched his brother change before his eyes.

Mario's body shrank slightly, his mustache vanished, and his overalls transformed into a red-and-white dress with puffed sleeves. His iconic red cap reshaped into a delicate tiara, and his gloves turned into elegant lace. His voice—normally gruff and full of pasta-fueled confidence—became high-pitched and strangely… adorable?

"What in the name of ravioli?!" Luigi yelped.

Mario, now looking dangerously close to Princess Peach with a slight Italian twist, touched his face. His eyes went wide. His hands trembled. And then—

"BOWSER!"

Luigi jumped off the couch, but before he could make a run for it, Bowser chucked the Super Crown at him too.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Too late.

Another burst of sparkles. Another shriek. And suddenly—

Luigi was no longer Luigi.

His green overalls had turned into an emerald ball gown that was almost too beautiful to be allowed in the Mushroom Kingdom. His usually floppy hat was now an intricately designed princess tiara, and his long, gangly limbs somehow looked elegantly poised like a Disney princess. His voice was now soft and melodious, like a gentle wind in the autumn leaves.

Mario, now Mariella, stared at his brother, who was now Luigia.

Silence.

Absolute silence.

Then—

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Bowser clutched his stomach, rolling on the floor in laughter. "Oh man, I can't— I CAN'T— LOOK AT YOU TWO! YOU LOOK LIKE YOU JUST WALKED OUT OF A FAIRYTALE MOVIE!"

Mariella stomped forward, her red heels clicking aggressively on the floor. "You oversized turtle! Change us back RIGHT NOW!"

Luigia, who was staring at her reflection in a window, blinked in absolute distress. "I… I have curls now," she whispered. "Oh dear stars, my mustache is gone—MARIO, MY MUSTACHE IS GONE!"

Mariella grabbed Bowser's shell and started shaking him violently. "I LOOK LIKE A MARIO-THEMED PRINCESS! I HAVE PUFFED SLEEVES, BOWSER! PUFFED. SLEEVES."

Bowser, still wheezing with laughter, pushed her off. "Oh, c'mon, princess, you should be flattered! You actually look kinda cute like this, not gonna lie."

"I WILL DESTROY YOU!" Mariella shrieked, trying to grab Bowser's throat.

Meanwhile, Luigia had grabbed a frying pan from the kitchen, wielding it with the intensity of a warrior facing their final boss. "Bowser, you better fix this before I teach you what PAIN feels like!"

The situation escalated quickly.

Bowser, still laughing, bolted down the hallway before they could catch him. Mariella and Luigia, their ballgowns flowing dramatically, took off after him.

"GET BACK HERE, YOU GIANT REPTILE!"

"GIVE US BACK OUR MUSTACHES!"

The chase stormed through the Smash Mansion, past Link (who double-took so hard he dropped his Master Sword), past Samus (who immediately took out her scanner to analyze this strange "Princess Mario Species"), and even past Donkey Kong (who simply blinked and continued eating his banana like this was just another Tuesday).

Bowser, grinning ear to ear, sprinted towards his next target.

One thing was certain.

This was only the beginning.

Bowser barely escaped Mario and Luigi—ahem, Mariella and Luigia—as they chased him down the halls in their fabulous new princess outfits. Their furious shouts echoed behind him.

"THIS ISN'T FUNNY, BOWSER!"
"I SWEAR ON ALL THINGS PLUMBING, I'M GONNA END YOU!"

Bowser cackled. Oh, it's funny alright. It's hilarious!

But he wasn't done yet.

Nope.

Not even close.

As he ran past the kitchen, he spotted his next victims—er, targets:

Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong.

The two apes were in the middle of a very serious banana-eating contest. DK sat at the table, arms crossed, while Diddy peeled his next banana with intense focus. The scoreboard (which was just a piece of cardboard with tally marks) showed DK: 27, Diddy: 26.

"Alright, little buddy," DK said, cracking his knuckles. "If you eat this next one, you tie me. No pressure."

Diddy wiped his brow. "I live for the pressure."

Bowser grinned. This was too perfect.

He crept up behind them, holding the Super Crown of Doom (as it shall now be known) and prepared to strike.

First target: Diddy.

Bowser lunged forward and slammed the Super Crown onto Diddy's head.

POOF!

A flash of sparkles and dramatic magical music burst into the air.

DK dropped his banana mid-bite. "Huh?"

Diddy's body shrank even more, his fur turning softer and fluffier, and his red cap morphed into a cute little tiara. His usual red shirt was now a frilly red dress covered in tiny banana patterns, and his tail twitched as he realized something was very wrong.

DK's jaw dropped. "BRO."

Diddy—now Diddette—looked at her own hands in horror.

"Wait… what? WHAT?!" Her voice was suddenly way higher pitched.

She touched her new, voluminous brown hair, which flowed like a shampoo commercial, and then screamed, "BOWSERRRR! WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

Bowser, crying tears of laughter, staggered backward. "Oh man, oh man! You look like a jungle princess!"

DK's eye twitched. "Bro… bro… Bros don't let bros become princesses."

Bowser wiped his eyes. "WELL THEN, GOOD THING YOU'RE ABOUT TO JOIN HIM—ER, HER."

Before DK could react, Bowser LEAPED into the air and slammed the Super Crown onto DK's head like he was spiking a volleyball.

BA-BOOM!

The ground shook as a burst of magic swirled around the massive ape. The table flipped. Bananas flew everywhere. The scoreboard caught fire for no reason.

And when the sparkles cleared…

Standing there was Donkey Kong.

But NOT Donkey Kong.

No.

Donkey Konga.

She was taller, leaner, and somehow… gracefully elegant? Her fur was smoother, like she had just come back from a full spa treatment. Her usual red tie was now a silky red sash, and she had a golden tiara decorated with tiny coconut jewels. Her muscles, still very much there, somehow looked more refined, like she had become a jungle queen ready to rule over all banana-based economies.

Bowser took one look at Princess Donkey Konga and Diddette, and he just about lost his mind laughing.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OH, THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!"

DK—er, Konga—looked at her hands, then at Diddette, then at the sky.

Then she screamed.

A deep, guttural, furious, echoing SCREAM.

"BOWSER, YOU ABSOLUTE BUFFOON!"

Diddette tugged at her dress in horror. "WHY DO I HAVE A TAIL RIBBON? WHY? WHO DESIGNED THIS?!"

Bowser, still laughing, took off running. "WELP, GOTTA GO! MORE PRINCESSES TO MAKE! LATER, LADIES!"

Konga and Diddette locked eyes.

Then—

"GET BACK HERE, YOU SCALY JOKER!"

With an earthquake-level stomp, Konga grabbed a barrel and chucked it full-force at Bowser. It barely missed his head, crashing through three walls and hitting Wario, who was in the middle of eating garlic.

Diddette, despite the dress, leapt onto the ceiling like an actual ninja monkey. "You can't escape, turtle breath! You've made a deadly enemy today!"

Bowser cackled as he ran down the hall, but deep down…

He knew.

The reckoning was coming.

And the jungle princesses were ANGRY.

But first—

Time to find Captain Falcon.

Bowser sprinted down the halls, still gasping for breath from his previous pranks. The sounds of royally enraged apes echoed behind him.

"WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, I'M GONNA SMASH YOU INTO NEXT WEEK!"
"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD IT IS TO CLIMB WITH A DRESS?!"

Bowser wheezed. Man, this is the best day ever.

But he wasn't done yet.

Oh no.

His next target was none other than the galaxy's flashiest racer—Captain Falcon.

And, as luck would have it, he found the good captain right outside on the mansion's balcony, flexing dramatically as he chatted up Zero Suit Samus.

Bowser ducked behind a nearby potted plant, listening in.

"Samus, you ever just look at the stars and think… 'Wow, those stars must be jealous of me, because I shine even brighter'?" Captain Falcon said, flashing his signature grin.

Samus sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "That is not how astronomy works."

"Exactly," Falcon continued, flipping his scarf dramatically. "Because astronomy is about science. And I? I am about style."

Samus took a deep breath like she was reconsidering every life choice that led her here.

Bowser smirked. Oh, this is too perfect.

Carefully, silently, stealthily—or as stealthy as a giant fire-breathing turtle could be—Bowser crept up behind Falcon, clutching the Super Crown of Doom.

He grinned.

And then—

SPLAT.

Bowser slammed the crown onto Falcon's head.

There was a flash of golden light, a triumphant fanfare, and—

"FALCOOOOON PRINCESS!"

Samus's eyes widened. "Oh no."

Bowser howled with laughter.

When the light faded, standing in place of the burly, macho Captain Falcon was…

Princess Falconia.

Her iconic helmet was gone, replaced by a glittering gold tiara. Her blue jumpsuit had transformed into a fabulous, skin-tight ball gown, still sporting his trademark Falcon emblem across the chest. His usual bulky boots were now stylish golden heels, and the red scarf had become a long, flowing royal cape.

Somehow, his muscles were still there, but they were gracefully toned in a way that screamed "warrior princess of F-Zero".

And the best part?

He still had his deep, manly voice.

Falconia turned to Samus, flipping her newly luscious blonde hair.

"Well now." Falconia struck a heroic pose, one hand on her hip. "This… THIS is what I call an upgrade."

Bowser blinked. "Wait, what?"

Samus sighed, rubbing her temples. "Of course he likes it."

Falconia twirled once, admiring herself. "I feel… powerful. Graceful. Majestic. My beauty alone could crash a hovercar at the starting line."

Bowser scratched his head. "Dude… you were supposed to be mad."

Falconia turned, pointing a perfectly manicured hand at Bowser. "Mad? BOWSER. This is the greatest thing to ever happen to me."

Bowser's jaw dropped. "What? No. No no no. You're supposed to scream, maybe chase me down the hall, yell about your 'masculinity' or whatever."

Falconia struck another dramatic pose, standing on one foot with perfect balance. "I have transcended masculinity. I am beauty. I am grace. I WILL STILL PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE."

Bowser barely dodged as Falconia exploded forward with a Falcon Kick, leaving a trail of sparkles behind her.

"FALCON… KICK!"

Bowser dove behind the plant just in time as the balcony shattered into a pile of debris.

Samus took a sip of her coffee. "Finally. Some peace."

Bowser peeked out from behind the wreckage. "Okay, I'll admit, I didn't see this one coming."

Falconia pointed dramatically. "You have done me a great service, Bowser. But I cannot allow you to prank my fellow warriors. Prepare yourself!"

Bowser got up, dusting himself off. "Oh yeah? You and what army, princess?"

At that moment, the door behind him burst open.

Standing in the doorway, Mario, Luigi, Donkey Konga, and Diddette glared daggers at Bowser, their gowns still billowing dramatically.

Mariella cracked her knuckles. "Alright, time for some payback."

Konga lifted another barrel. "You're about to get crowned in a different way."

Diddette hung from the ceiling, holding a frying pan. "TURTLE BOY'S ABOUT TO LEARN TODAY."

Bowser gulped. "W-wait… let's talk about this—"

"GET HIM!"

The entire Smash Princess Squad launched themselves at Bowser, screaming in unison.

"FALCON… SLAP!"
"BARREL BARRAGE!"
"PLUMBING PUNCH!"
"MONKEY MADNESS!"

CRASH.

The mansion shook.

Samus, still sitting on the balcony, didn't even look up. She just took another sip of coffee.

"…Hmph. Idiots."

Bowser's entire body ached.

After barely escaping the wrath of the Smash Princess Squad, he was bruised, burned, barrel-smacked, and possibly concussed. But was he done?

No.

Because deep down, in his Koopa heart, he was a menace.

And there were still more victims to prank.

That's when he saw them.

Marth and Chrom.

The two swordsmen were locked in a fierce sparring match in the mansion's training grounds, their blades clashing with sparks flying. Standing on the sidelines was Lucina, arms crossed, watching them like an intense coach at a tournament.

Bowser's smirk widened.

"Perfect…" he whispered, gripping the Super Crown of Doom™.

He crept forward, hiding behind a barrel (which was ironic, considering a barrel nearly ended him earlier). The swordsmen were too focused on their battle to notice the giant, fire-breathing lizard tiptoeing like a sneaky cartoon villain.

Then—

STRIKE!

Bowser leapt from the shadows and SLAMMED the crown onto Marth's head.

POOF!

A flash of pink light burst into the air, and suddenly—

Princess Marthia stood in his place.

Her deep blue hair had grown out, long and silky, flowing elegantly in the breeze. Her armor transformed into a royal blue gown, still somehow battle-ready, with a silver tiara resting gracefully on her head. The Falchion sword remained, but now it shimmered with a certain… regality.

Marthia blinked. Then looked down at herself.

Then back up at Bowser.

Then back down again.

"...Huh."

Chrom, meanwhile, froze mid-swing, his face morphing into absolute, utter confusion.

"...What."

Lucina's jaw dropped. "FATHER?!"

Bowser was already wheezing with laughter. "HOOOHOOO, OH THIS IS GOLD. LOOK AT YOU, MARTHY! YOU'RE A FULL-BLOWN ROYAL PRINCESS!"

Marthia flipped her hair, inspecting herself with utter calmness.

"Well… this is unexpected," she mused. "But… oddly comfortable."

Bowser blinked. "Wait, why is nobody freaking out? That's, like, half the fun."

Marthia smirked. "I was already considered beautiful before this. Now, I've simply reached my final form."

Chrom slowly pointed at him. "You. Are. A. Princess."

Marthia rested a perfectly manicured hand on her hip. "And?"

Chrom just opened and closed his mouth, like a fish gasping for air.

Lucina, however, narrowed her eyes. "Bowser… what did you just do?"

Bowser, still grinning, lunged forward before Chrom could react.

"TWO FOR ONE SPECIAL!"

POOF!

Another burst of sparkles—

And Chromette was born.

Her blue hair was styled into elegant curls, and she was now in a flowing white-and-gold gown, still surprisingly battle-appropriate. Her cape had transformed into a delicate silken shawl, and her tiara matched Lucina's.

She blinked.

Looked down.

And then.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

THAT was the reaction Bowser had been waiting for.

Chromette flipped out. She grabbed at her dress like it was a curse from Grima himself, spinning in circles.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?! WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

Bowser was on the ground, clutching his stomach. "BWAHAHAHA! OH MAN, OH MAN, THIS IS TOO GOOD! YOU LOOK LIKE YOU JUST WALKED OUT OF A FAIRY TALE!"

Chromette turned to Marthia, completely losing it.

"HOW ARE YOU OKAY WITH THIS?!"

Marthia just gave a royal shrug. "Adaptability is key in battle."

Lucina, who had been silent until now, suddenly clapped her hands together.

"Well. This is interesting."

Chromette whipped around. "LUCI, HELP ME."

Lucina rubbed her chin. "Actually… you look kind of regal like this, Mother."

Chromette nearly fainted. "I AM NOT YOUR MOTHER!"

Bowser was rolling on the floor. "Ohhh, my stomach! I CAN'T TAKE IT!"

Then—

"Ahem."

Bowser froze.

Marthia, Chromette, and Lucina turned toward the new voice.

Standing at the entrance to the training grounds was…

FALCONIA.

Hair flowing in the wind, tiara gleaming, dress still dramatic, yet somehow still radiating pure, unfiltered testosterone.

And she wasn't alone.

Behind her stood the entire Smash Princess Squad.

Mariella, Luigia, Donkey Konga, and Diddette all stood, cracking their knuckles, cracking their necks, and looking ready to make turtle soup.

Bowser gulped.

Marthia smirked. "Well, Bowser. It looks like your little prank has finally run its course."

Chromette, despite her dress-related meltdown, crossed her arms. "I say we make him pay."

Lucina drew her blade. "Ladies… get him."

Bowser turned to run.

"OH COME ON, CAN'T WE TALK ABOUT THIS?!"

"FALCON… SLAP!"
"BARREL BLAST!"
"PLUMBING UPPERCUT!"
"JUNGLE JUSTICE!"
"ROYAL RECKONING!"

Bowser barely had time to scream before he was buried under a royal beatdown so fierce that it could be heard from the other side of the mansion.

Hours Later…

Bowser lay in a crater, twitching, his shell cracked, his pride shattered.

Lucina stood over him, holding the Super Crown.

"Your reign of terror is over, Koopa King."

Bowser groaned. "No more… princesses…"

Falconia crossed her arms. "So… who wants to keep the crown?"

The Smash Princess Squad all turned to Marthia.

Marthia shrugged elegantly. "I suppose I'll keep it. After all… I do wear it best."

Chromette groaned into her hands. "I hate everything."

And thus, Bowser's Super Crown Prank War came to a glorious, disastrous, and royally humiliating end.

At least… for now.