The air crackled with tension. No, not just tension—something more terrifying. Something primal. Two figures stood in the center of a ruined battlefield, the sky swirling above them as if the very heavens sensed the impending chaos.

Mithos Yggdrasill, self-proclaimed divine protector of his dear sister Martel, narrowed his glowing golden eyes at his unexpected opponent. His ethereal robes fluttered dramatically despite there being no wind.

Opposite him, Velvet Crowe, the Lord of Calamity who had torn down an empire for her newfound little brother, cracked her demonic clawed hand, smirking with deadly confidence.

Martel and Phi stood off to the side, blinking in confusion. They had no idea how it had come to this. One moment, they were simply discussing the importance of family. The next?

Mithos and Velvet were locked in a contest of insanity, one only comprehensible to fellow overprotective guardians.

"I would die for Martel!" Mithos declared, flipping his long blond hair with a dramatic flourish.

Velvet scoffed. "That's cute. I already died for Phi once and came back stronger just to keep protecting him."

Phi raised a hand awkwardly. "Technically, Velvet, you were only sealed away, not—"

"SHHH!" Velvet waved him off, her intense gaze never leaving Mithos.

Martel sighed. "Mithos, you don't have to—"

"QUIET, MARTEL! BIG BROTHER IS TALKING!" Mithos snapped, before turning back to Velvet. "You think you're the ultimate guardian? Have you created an entire world-destroying system just to bring your sibling back?"

Velvet grinned, stepping forward, her claw glowing with malevolence. "Have you spent years in solitary, fueled only by your need to protect them, turning into an unstoppable force of destruction?"

Mithos smirked. "I am destruction incarnate."

Velvet leaned in. "Same."

The ground shook as the two psychopaths launched at each other.

Swords clashed. Spells erupted. Claws swiped.

Aether and Malevolence swirled in a violent storm, the battlefield warping under the sheer absurdity of their shared determination. Lightning struck as Mithos summoned Judgement, only for Velvet to charge straight through it, flames of her Therion arm crackling wildly.

"You're holding back!" Velvet taunted, dodging a blast of divine energy and launching a spinning kick at Mithos.

"Tch! I don't need to go all out to defeat you!" Mithos countered, forming a dozen golden swords in the air and sending them at Velvet like homing missiles.

She caught two of them mid-air with her claw, crushed them, and used the remains as impromptu projectiles to hurl right back at him.

Martel and Phi exchanged worried glances.

"This is getting a little out of hand…" Martel muttered, watching Mithos summon an entire cathedral-sized spell circle above Velvet's head.

Phi tilted his head. "Should we… stop them?"

"I don't think that's possible."

Back in the battle, Mithos' patience had run thin. "You claim to be the ultimate sibling protector, but you don't even have wings! What kind of supreme being doesn't have wings?!"

Velvet growled. "I don't need wings when I have this!" She held up her claw, flexing it menacingly. "Besides, you failed to bring Martel back. I succeeded in saving Phi."

Mithos' eye twitched. "EXCUSE ME?!"

He charged up an ungodly amount of energy. Velvet, never one to back down from an unhinged sibling battle, did the same. The world was about to experience an explosion of raw emotional insanity—

"THAT'S ENOUGH!"

Martel's voice rang through the battlefield like a divine decree.

Mithos instantly froze mid-attack. "Y-Yes, Martel?"

Velvet, undeterred, kept charging power. "I'm not done yet."

Phi tugged at her coat. "Velvet, stop. This is embarrassing."

"...Hmph." With a huff, she reluctantly relented. The burning aura around her dissipated.

Martel placed her hands on her hips. "Mithos, you need to stop being so dramatic!"

"But Martel, I—!"

"No buts! You're embarrassing yourself!"

Mithos looked away, pouting like a scolded child. "F-Fine…"

Phi crossed his arms at Velvet. "And you, you don't need to prove anything! I know you care."

Velvet scratched her cheek. "...I guess." She side-eyed Mithos, still competitive. "But I totally won, right?"

"No way," Mithos snapped. "I clearly love my sister more than you love your little brother."

Phi sighed. "I feel like we lost either way."

Martel patted his head. "At least we can bond over our mutual exhaustion."

The following morning...

The morning sun had barely risen, and already, chaos brewed in the kitchen.

Mithos Yggdrasill, self-proclaimed divine protector and definitely not an unhinged sibling complex fanatic, stood at one end of the massive castle kitchen, rolling up the sleeves of his immaculate robes. A golden apron with "World's Best Brother" emblazoned across the front was tied around his waist.

On the opposite side, Velvet Crowe, the other unhinged sibling complex maniac, cracked her knuckles, already donning a jet-black apron that read "Mess With Phi, Prepare to Die" in ominous red embroidery. She tied her hair up into a ponytail, eyes gleaming with a dangerous light.

Between them stood Martel and Phi, both holding steaming cups of tea, exchanging the exact same tired expression as they watched history repeat itself.

"So… what started it this time?" Phi asked, taking a sip of his tea.

Martel sighed. "Velvet made breakfast for you."

Phi nodded. "And Mithos said he could make something better for you?"

"Exactly."

"And then Velvet said she wouldn't lose to a 'sparkly winged brat'?"

"Mmm-hmm."

"And now they're in a full-blown cooking competition?"

"Unfortunately."

Phi took a deep breath. "Should we stop them?"

Martel took a sip of her tea. "We both know that's impossible."

Indeed, it was too late. The two lunatics had already begun their ultimate battle.

"Prepare to witness culinary perfection!" Mithos declared, summoning a magical floating cookbook before him. He dramatically gestured, and ingredients materialized in golden light, neatly arranging themselves like some divine cooking anime montage. "For Martel, I shall create an exquisite dish, one befitting her grace and beauty!"

Velvet scoffed, already chopping vegetables at a speed that blurred her hands. "Yeah? Well, I cook from the heart, not from some fancy magic book, you winged freak." She tossed the chopped vegetables into a sizzling pan, the flames flaring up as she expertly flipped them. "Phi deserves a meal packed with real flavor, not something conjured out of a glorified light show!"

Mithos' eye twitched. "Excuse me?! I'll have you know that my cooking technique is flawless!" He elegantly whisked a creamy sauce, the golden liquid shimmering with divine energy. "Everything I make is made with love and dedication!"

Velvet bared her teeth in a grin. "Yeah? How many times have you actually cooked for Martel?"

Mithos froze mid-whisk. "...I mean, I had chefs do it for me, but the love was still there!"

"A-ha!" Velvet pointed a spatula at him. "Then this is your first real attempt, huh? Amateur!"

Mithos growled, the sheer disrespect fueling his next move. "Oh, it's on."

Flames ignited. Spices flew. Magical auras clashed.

Mithos' side of the kitchen turned into a pristine, glowing culinary wonderland—each ingredient levitating gently into place, every motion refined and graceful. He plated an absolutely stunning dish, the aroma divine, the presentation flawless.

Velvet's side? A battlefield of chaos. She had no magic assistance—only sheer force of will. The sizzling of a pan, the sound of meat searing, the powerful scent of caramelized onions and roasted spices filled the air. Every movement was pure instinct, raw talent honed through years of survival and necessity.

The room split into two aesthetics: one side a refined, angelic Michelin-star experience; the other a rustic, soulful, home-cooked masterpiece.

At last, both chefs stepped back, wiping their brows. They locked eyes.

"It's time," Mithos announced.

"Yeah," Velvet agreed.

Martel and Phi glanced at each other before reluctantly stepping forward to judge.

Martel took a bite of Mithos' dish first. The moment it touched her lips, a celestial glow surrounded her. Her expression turned to pure bliss. "This is… incredible," she murmured, eyes shimmering.

Mithos smirked smugly at Velvet.

Then Phi took a bite of Velvet's dish. His eyes widened, his entire body practically melting from the flavor. "Velvet, this is amazing!" he gasped. "It tastes… it tastes like home."

Velvet crossed her arms, smirking back at Mithos.

The tension in the room thickened.

Martel and Phi looked at each other.

"Uh…" Martel started.

"They're both great!" Phi quickly added.

"Yes!" Martel nodded. "Completely different, but both excellent!"

A pause. Then—

Mithos narrowed his eyes. "Which one's better?"

Velvet cracked her knuckles. "Yeah, which one?"

Phi and Martel paled. Oh no.

Suddenly, the room temperature felt hotter. Sparks crackled in the air. Their so-called 'protectors' were not going to let them get away with a diplomatic answer.

Phi gulped. "Uhhh—"

Martel grabbed his arm. "RUN!"

They bolted out of the kitchen as Velvet and Mithos immediately began arguing at full volume, throwing culinary insults at each other.

"Your food's all style and no soul!"

"Oh please, like burnt flavor is a seasoning!"

"You sparkle too much! It's like eating light itself!"

"At least I don't cook with rage! You're practically setting the food on fire!"

Martel and Phi didn't stop running until they were a safe distance away.

"...They're never gonna stop, are they?" Phi panted.

Martel sighed, rubbing her temples. "No. No, they are not."