Kai was avoiding him, that much was clear, why he was doing such a thing was where Zane's confusion kicked in. He noticed it sometime after things had settled in Ninjago; after the mess with Ronin, they were all back to living in their new residence – a tea shop if all went according to plan. Kai was getting up early, seemingly earlier than he tended to. He'd disappear for an hour or two before reappearing, sleeping – or pretending to sleep – for another hour and then getting up with the rest of them. However, attempting to question him just led back to the original problem of avoidance.
It wasn't an obvious thing, after all Kai did hang out with the rest of the team and that included Zane. However, he would also spend a strange amount of time away from them as well. Zane had overheard from the others that Kai was often visiting Skylor Chen to see how she was doing with her restaurant. Though, when the others teased him, he protested that he didn't spend all his time at the restaurant – apparently, he sometime visited the museum. Kai and Lloyd had also been hanging out more, although after Sensei Garmadon's sacrifice, it was unsurprising that the younger boy would be leaning on Kai more often. And of course, Kai had gotten back into his habit of meeting up with Lou, Ed, and Edna along with Lloyd. Thinking on all that, Zane supposed it wasn't strange that he hadn't realized Kai was avoiding him. However, attempting to confront the avoidance would merely increase it or rather forced it to become cleverer in its implementation.
Zane had to wonder, as he looked at the rest of his family. It wasn't as if he was blind, he had been dead for a year or at least thought to be dead for a year; his family had changed in that time – although he was glad to see that Cole and Jay were no longer fighting – still the changes were there. Nya seemed the least changed of all or perhaps she was just better at hiding it. So, he had thought to ask her about her brother's strange behavior; instead, however, he had asked her what had happened in a year. And she told him, but it wasn't the answer he was expecting.
Cole had taken on an assortment of odd jobs here and there, eventually making his way as a woodsman before he had given up on that as well in his attempt to remain in obscurity. Jay, at this Nya had looked around carefully to see if the lightning elemental was around to hear what she had to say, apparently, he'd gotten his own game show; not that he wanted to mention it. In fact, he seemed to be going out of his way to avoid its mention, much to their collective amusement. Lloyd had stayed with his parents and uncle while occasionally visiting Cyrus Borg. Cyrus in turn had been working to find a balance for Ninjago city between technology and nature. Nya said she mainly stayed with Sensei Wu, Lloyd and his parents while working on projects here and there. Having mentioned everyone else, Zane waited to hear what Kai had been up to, but she had no answer. Of course, Kai had stayed with her and Lloyd but at some point, as everyone else was leaving, Kai eventually left as well.
Zane could hear the note of frustration in Nya's voice as she spoke of her brother; while the two were getting along now, it just made the nindroid all the more curious as to what had happened. Considering that Lloyd was the only other to have seen Kai before he split off from the group, Zane soon turned his inquiries to the green ninja.
"What about Kai," Lloyd asked as he finished up his training below the deck of the Bounty.
Here, Zane hesitated, while he wished to know what had transpired when everyone had thought he was dead, he also did not wish to alert the others to Kai's recent behavior.
Kai was, is, Zane's best friend, part of the reason for that was the way they could talk to each other about the things they did not want the others to worry about. To Zane, the thought of telling Lloyd or any of the others about Kai's avoidance seemed like a violation of that trust.
"I was just curious as to what everyone has been up to, during my absence," Zane said, "Nya has already informed me about the others; however, she did not have much to say about her brother – I was hoping you might know more."
Lloyd seemed hesitant.
So, he does know something, Zane thought, something that may be cause for concern, something he did not wish to speak of.
"Shouldn't you just ask him" Lloyd finally said, trying to hide how he was attempting to duck out of the conversation.
"…I suppose you are right, Lloyd," Zane said – much to Lloyd's relief – before turning to return to the ninja's shared cabin room.
"Why did you not simply inform him of your concerns," PIXAL asked, her digital form appearing in Zane's vision, "would it not be more convenient for the others to know of Kai's odd behavior?"
"For as exuberant as he may appear, Kai is a very private person; if his problem is with me, then I wish handle this myself – Kai has always trusted me with his privacy and I rather this not be the thing to break this trust."
"I see; but I must ask, how long do you believe it will be before he notices your investi-"
PIXAL paused as she and Zane took notice of Kai who had paused when he took notice of Zane, just as the fire elemental was heading off the Bounty. He held himself with a slight defensiveness, like an animal that knew it was about to be cornered and hadn't yet decided if it wanted to run or fight.
No, Zane thought to himself, the message in Kai's eyes was suddenly very clear, if Zane attempted to confront him now, the nindroid had no doubt that the younger teen would run.
They were at a stalemate, both highly aware of what the other likely knew; of Kai's evasiveness, of Zane's investigation and of the fact that Kai held the key that would answer Zane's voracious curiosity. They might have stayed there forever had it not been for the scream they heard from the kitchen that was immediately followed by a shout of, "who ate my pudding cup?"
As it was, in the time that Zane had turned his head in the direction of the disturbance, Kai had taken it upon himself to vacate the area before his titanium brother could notice.
(~*~)
Kai knew that Zane had taken notice of his odd behavior. Zane knew him very well, so of course the ice elemental would notice if he strayed from the norm, Kai had just hoped to have delt with his own issues before his brother's questions began.
Truth be told, Kai felt awful, he felt like a coward, he felt that he was being ungrateful. Here was his brother, alive and well and he was avoiding him, and why was he avoiding Zane, because he was angry.
Kai knew it made no sense; he was angry at Zane, and for what? He had been happy before to have his brother back, so why was he angry now? It's not like Zane had wanted to die. He had just done what he needed to do to keep them all safe.
Zane was built to protect, and he had protected them, but …
Kai had been born to protect. Destiny itself had proven that in a volcano with a child that would take hold of his heart, as fiercely as his little sister had the day he felt her move when his mother held his hand to her womb.
For a year – just pass the day – Kai had felt nothing but sorrow and guilt. It should have been him; that thought had become his unintentional mantra. Even now with Zane smiling and laughing, the thought still lingered in the back of his mind – distantly Kai heard the voice of the green ninja asking when he would stop being so selfish. He knew he was being selfish; he knew that Zane was likely hurt by how much he avoided him, but he also knew that Zane didn't deserve his anger. So, Kai avoided him as he tried to put an end to his personal brand of nonsense and tried to ignore the pain that appeared in hidden flashes on his brother's face.
So, he only hung out with Zane when they were with another.
So, he snuck out to visit Skylor, to help her settle in.
And when night fell and he knew that he wouldn't be able to fall asleep, he went out.
Out to the apartment that he rented when the others had left, when he finally left.
Sometimes Kai would stay there the entire time, waiting to fall asleep – returning to the Bounty before anyone would notice. Sometimes Kai would just stop by before going down to the ring for a fight or ten – maybe more if he had enough Serpentine spirits to drink, the only thing strong enough for an elemental; it was hard to say 'no' after all when your brain eventually gives up on decision making and sets itself to routine and instinct. It was all Kai could do to just keep standing as someone would eventually grab him, throwing him in the ring because they liked how he fought – and liked it even better, how he fought with half a mind under the drink.
Then day would come, and Kai would see the looks Lloyd would give him, the looks that Zane would now give him and knew it was only a matter of time before Nya would start giving him looks as well. And though Kai knew they wouldn't pry, he could also see the worry on Lou, Ed and Edna's faces when he'd visit them and part of him wondered if Wu and Misako suspected him as well – he knew Sensei Garmadon had worried, the old master had said as much. So, he tried to ignore the way the ring called to him, called him to do something with the anger in his heart and ask scathingly in his ear what would happen if he didn't let the anger out, asking what would happen if he returned to his family with unsatiated anger in is veins. So sometimes, when the voices in his head were too loud – when he couldn't ignore them, he'd stop by the twenty-four-hour store in the rundown neighborhood his apartment was in and buy a bottle of Serpentine spirits from the merchant in the back ally. When he got to his apartment he'd toss the bottle in his fridge – having poured only one or two glasses – before locking himself in his bedroom so he'd have that small deterrent to keep himself from having anymore.
Unfortunately for Kai, it was around this time, in the dark hours of the morning – as he worked to cover up the evidence of his night, before returning to the others, that he discovered a permanent stain of redness around his eyes. A stain like paint or make-up, and his mind flashed back to the memory of a more prominent red that had painted Chen's face. After that, Kai worked to hide that damning red as well. If soon after, the scathing voices became louder, multiplying and prominent at night when he was alone, then that was between him the burning ache in his hands that longed to once again hold on to the staff that had caused the red corruption.
The voices, Kai decided, were still nothing compared to the dreams he would have when he finally fell asleep – and distantly he wondered what might happen if the voices stay well after, if after; should the dreams ever leave.
When Kai was younger, he would sometimes dream about his parents coming back. In the good ones, they would stay. In the bad ones, they would leave with Nya. The hard part came in the morning because, for all the anger in his heart, he could never bring himself to be angry with them. Of course they left, of course they would only come back for Nya, after all why would they come back for him. Now was much the same as before, but Zane had come back, so why was he angry now, when in the year that had passed, he could never feel the anger burn against his brother.
In the times that Kai had been able to sleep, he would more often than not, dream. He'd be in his room when a voice would call him to the small kitchen-front room. Getting up from his bed, Kai would follow the voice to find Zane in the kitchen smiling, laughing, cooking breakfast and telling him to have a seat. That's how the dream would go, and in that moment, Kai was happy before the dream inevitably became a nightmare. It'd start slowly, Zane's voice would start to glitch, a popped wire here, a stain of oil there and then would come the sound of battle from beyond Kai's front door. Breakfast was gone and the two of them would be dressed to fight, their gi already looking worn, but Kai would follow his brother out the door. Then, there was the war-torn streets, there was the Golden Master, and there was Zane, and in the back of Kai's mind he knew that the others had already hidden to protect themselves from the frost of Zane's sacrifice. But then, then, Kai would hear his own voice – all too quiet, all too loud – saying, 'take me, take me instead.'
He didn't know what was worse though, the dreams that would end with the Overlord striking him down in Zane's place – to Kai, a sad mockery of Zane's sacrifice. Or the times when he was aware enough that he was asleep and couldn't find the strength to play the dream through before ending it as soon as possible in the only way the repeating dream would allow itself to end.
The only other dreams, however, that seared itself into his mind were the ones where he sat upon a throne, staff in hand, the lifeless forms of every elemental and every person he had ever called family, splayed out in a gruesome tableau. These were the dreams that he could never change. These were the ones that didn't grant him the release of death. Rather at their most merciful, the deeds were already done. At their most cruel, he was the tyrant, he was their tormentor, he was death.
Then the next nights were dreamless for the memory was nightmare enough.
Then the next nights, there was Zane with breakfast. There was his sacrifice.
There was the night, after night of seeing all the excruciating ways, his brother was torn apart.
And there he was, watching everything, unable to change anything, begging every time to take his brother's place.
And there was death, after death, after death.
And the next night, after so many nights, there was his brother in the kitchen, unaware of the tormenting loop.
And there was the knife on the counter – the only out the dream ever gave him when his mind could remember he was in a dream – and after so many nights, he'd take it, over and over, night after night till whoever it was that controlled his dreams, sent him back to the throne.
(~*~)
Skylor knew that Kai was using her as an excuse to avoid his family. She didn't mind though; he was as sweet as he was helpful and she liked his company, but beyond that, she could see the guilt in his eyes, the desire for a distraction from whatever plagued him and it echoed fiercely in her soul. It was the look of someone desperate to atone. So, she let him hide as he worked through all the thoughts in his head and she in turn did what she could to lift the weight from his shoulders and fan the clouds from his mind.
As it was, Skylor had been following up on some rumors about some of her father's followers when she had seen Kai staggering into an apartment building. Using the ninja skills her father had instilled into her, she followed him in and up several flights of stairs – it wasn't a tall building, but Kai had still gotten a place on the top floor. It was when he began fumbling with a set of keys that Skylor noticed the start of several bruises, that she noticed the half empty bottle in his hand. It was then that she realized that his despair may have run deeper than she thought. Approaching carefully, Skylor made her presence quietly known. Kai, still startled at her sudden appearance, but a part of him must have recognized her because he didn't fight when she took his keys and opened the door herself.
His rather small and drab apartment was cleaner than she thought it be and despite the bottle in his hand, there was nothing in his fridge – when she checked later – to indicate that this was a habit he had given up on trying to stop. If Skylor was right, she had likely caught him in a lapse, one that he'd regret in the morning. Nodding to herself, Skylor chose her course. Walking over to where Kai still stood in his doorway, she brought him in before locking his door. Slowly, she worked the bottle from his hand before placing it on the nearby table. After, Skylor led him to what she presumed correctly was his bedroom. Laying him down, tucking his blankets around him and removing the decorative mask from his face, Kai was asleep before she left the room. Back in the kitchen front room, Skylor considered the bottle before deciding to stuff it into the fridge; it wasn't hers to throw out, no matter how much she wanted to. After freshening up in the bathroom – that was also, surprisingly, very clean – Skylor went to crash on Kai couch; taking out her phone, she sent a quick alibi text to Lloyd to cover Kai for the night and the next day before letting sleep take her.
(~*~)
Kai awoke to the smell of breakfast and part of him wanted to cry. Staggering out of bed, he hadn't even noticed the blankets that had covered him nor that his fight-ring mask had been removed. As he entered his kitchen, all Kai could see was the gleam of metal and a white gi and he decided he couldn't go through with the dream again. He was too far away from the kitchen counter but that was fine he thought as he looked down to his sleeve where he kept a sheathed kunai. He'd end the dream right now before the image of his brother could speak.
(~*~)
Professional Ninja, Skylor decided later – when her heart was no longer racing – were much quieter than even her father's training had attested to. She was certain that she wouldn't have noticed Kai – distracted as she was with cooking and seeing what powers she had left – had she not heard him mutter, 'take me instead'. As it was, it was only because of her father's training that she managed to keep Kai's dagger from finding itself in a very tragic spot in its owner's body.
(~*~)
Skylor's heart was pounding. The kunai she wretched from Kai's hands had fallen out of her's – as she and Kai had hit the floor – and skittered across the floorboards, coming to a rest by the front door.
Kai stared at Skylor from where he sat after having fallen backwards. There was surprise and disbelief written across his face as if he hadn't realized she had been there, as if he hadn't realized that the night had left, and it had left him dreamless.
"Skylor," Kai asked, his tone surprised but groggy, "what are you doing here; when did you get here?"
From where Skylor was – on all fours, her breaths coming out in huffs as she tried to calm her heart – she turned her head to Kai, her own look of disbelief upon her face, before she launched herself at him; her arms wrapping round his neck as she held him close.
Slowly wrapping his own arms around the amber elemental, Kai held her securely. He could feel her heart, beat against his as he did his best to work through the haze that he recognized as the distant call of a hangover. A hangover, then it was morning, right? What had happened last night, why was Skylor here? Did he call her or had someone called her to watch him?
… Did she know?
(~*~)
It took some time for Skylor to calm her heart enough to ask, "why?"
And Kai … didn't have an answer, he didn't have an answer because he was afraid, he was afraid that he knew what she was asking.
Skylor must have heard something in his silence because after a few moments she switched her line of inquiry.
"How long have you been coming here?"
Kai was quiet but Skylor knew how to be patient and perhaps, perhaps, … perhaps it was because of how long Kai had been alone that he finally answered.
"I …," Kai started, "I, got the place awhile after Zane … and … and then after, after everything that happened, I … I kept coming back."
Kai rested his chin on Skylor's left shoulder, he didn't turn his head away from her, but he didn't turn his head towards her.
"…Why are you avoiding the others?"
"…Because …," in Kai's mind he could see the throne room of his dream, but then he could also see Zane's expression, hurt as he realized his brother was avoiding him, "… I'm confused."
Skylor didn't say anything as Kai held her closer, but Kai could still feel her prompt him to continue.
"Zane … Zane's back and I'm happy, everyone's happy."
"…But?"
"… But I'm angry."
"Why," Skylor's voice was a whisper, but it echoed louder than the voices.
Kai was silent again, why was he angry?
"I don't know," his voice was just as quiet.
"… Okay."
(~*~)
They sat there a while longer before the sound of the stove encouraged them both to get back up – Skylor briefly squeezing Kai's hands before she let go to walk back to turn off the stovetop. As she looked back at the fire elemental – who hadn't moved from his spot – she saw him looking towards the door, no not the door, the kunai.
Skylor swallowed past the lump in her throat, her lips pressing together as she turned her attention back to the breakfast she was making.
A second later, she spoke. "… you, …you sleep with a weapon too?"
That got Kai's attention, "Um, yeah, since I was a kid."
"Hm, same."
"Oh … I'm sorry."
"Same … um, breakfast is ready."
"Uh."
"I texted the others, told them you were helping me out today."
Kai's face was unreadable as he stared at her.
"You don't have to stay if you don't want to," Skylor continued quickly.
Kai was silent a moment longer before seeming to shake himself out of whatever stupor he was in.
"No, no, that fine," he said, walking over to the simple table and chairs set that had come with the apartment and taking a seat, "I can stay."
Skylor gave him a slight nod and a small encouraging smile as she dished out their breakfast – scallion pancakes, rice, seaweed salad, salmon, a pealed chopped mango with hot oil and a fresh pot of green tea.
Seeing Kai's surprise at the breakfast spread, Skylor spoke up.
"I stepped out earlier, apple juice and wilted spinach is not the breakfast of a ninja."
"Well, I'm usually not eating here … recently anyways. How bad was it?"
"Just crossed the line to inedible."
"Ah … so … what are we doing today."
"The others said that you're a good cook, so I thought you could help out in the kitchen, today's gonna be pretty busy so I was wondering if you could provide backup for my chefs."
"Yeah … yeah, I guess I could. You sure I won't be in the way?"
"Positive."
(~*~)
After breakfast, Skylor handled the clean-up, ushering Kai to the bathroom to get ready in the meantime. If the amber elemental was honest, she half expected to see Kai step out in his ninja gear; she knew he had civilian clothes, she'd seen them herself, but it still surprised her to see him in them – even if she did know that, civilian clothes or not, he was still armed to the teeth.
"What," Kai asked, inspecting himself when he realized she was staring.
"It's nothing, I was just thinking if I ever remember you coming over in anything besides your gi."
"I'll be honest, I kind of prefer it."
"Really?"
"Yeah, pretty sure it's the fabric."
"Well, what about these clothes?"
"Wu had them custom made. Nya and I didn't have much growing up, so when he took us in, new clothes were part of the deal, I guess."
"And these don't bother you?"
"No; nearest I can tell, they're made with the same fabric as the gi, or something similar at least – you ever have that problem?"
"If I did, I don't remember it – dad had a thing for luxury."
"I guess that makes sense," Kai's voice trailed off as he gazed upon the kunai by the door. He had several other weapons on his person, but that dagger ….
"Ya know," Skylor said, decidedly not looking at the blade, "I have a washing machine at my place, if you want to get some laundry done – dryer too."
"… I'd be cleaning out all my drawers; you sure you want to have all that stuff over at your place?"
"I don't mind; you can bring the linens too, if you like."
"I'll … think about that last part," Kai was looking at the dagger again, "… we probably shouldn't leave that there."
Eventually they decided to sheath the blade and put it in a bag along with Kai's laundry. With the kitchen clean and everything packed up, the two elementals headed off for 'Master Chen's Noddle House'.
(~*~)
Taking the back entrance into the noddle house, Skylor lead Kai up the now familiar steps to her apartment on the top floor above the restaurant. While others might have worried about the rent when using all five floors of the building, Skylor was fortunate not to have that problem. Of all the illegal things her father, Master Chen, had done, he apparently had enough pride in his noddle business, as to ensure that, legally, the building and it's land couldn't be taken away from the Chen family – utilities were another thing entirely, but Skylor had gotten a handle on that.
"You ever think about rebranding," Kai asked as Skylor let him into her spacious, elegant yet cozy apartment.
"Sometimes," Skylor admitted, helping to haul in Kai's laundry, "but then I come across the problem of what to call it instead; you ran your dad's blacksmith shop – did you ever think about renaming it?"
"Every once in a while."
"Really!"
"Hm … I don't know; sometime the name was comforting because it's my family's shop, other times …"
"It hurt knowing that they weren't there anymore?"
"… I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault, 'side, not the only one who lost something; how's he doing by the way?"
"Lloyd," Kai asked, "he's surviving, I'm trying to be there for him – I know I can't replace Garmadon but, I hope he knows we're here for him."
"… I think he does," Skylor said, leading him into her laundry room.
"How can you be so sure?"
"Because … his mom took him here for lunch last week and all he would do was talk about you."
Skylor was quiet for a moment as she began to helped Kai separate the loads, then, "you know what your sensei told me?"
Kai looked to Skylor.
"He said, grief in the moment, fills up our life till it's the only thing we see; we often think that we will eventually grow out of it, for it to go away, but expecting it to just go away is unrealistic – we don't grow out of our grief, we grow around it – it still hurts to think about, but eventually, it won't be the only thing filling up our life."
Kai thought about that for a moment before Skylor continued.
"You had fourteen years and several dozen things that need to be done, to get to where you are now, here, you only had a year and nothing that needed doing."
"The year is over, things are okay now." Okay-ish, they all missed Sensei Garmadon.
"… Ya know, I kinda miss my dad … but I'm also … angry at him; everything that happened, it didn't have to happen if he was a better person, but I still love him, even if he only loved what my powers could do for him – I have good memories, I know there was no real love behind them, but that doesn't stop them from begin there."
Kai was quiet, his motions having stilled.
"What I mean," Skylor continued, "is that it's okay to feel mix about something."
"… I …I know why he did it. I know he loves us, he wanted to protect us; but in my head … all I can think was, is that, is that it should have been me."
Those words. They hadn't seen it yet, but Skylor knew that her bag was the one with the kunai in it.
"I'm the protector," Kai continued, "but then he … I'm sorry … I'm being selfish."
"… For wanting to keep your brother alive, even if it meant your life; Kai, in the time I've known you, you are one of the least selfish people I've ever met."
"But-"
"You risked your life entering my father's ranks and risked your plan to save someone who betrayed you; the only reason I'm not in the cursed realm right now is because you decided that I was worth saving."
Skylor looked over at the fire elemental, his lips were pressed together.
"I think I get it now;" Skylor said, "you know why he did it, and because it was done out of love, you felt grief because apart of you still thinks that there must have been something you could have done; now that he's back the grief, while still there, is settling allowing for everything else you didn't realize you felt."
"… He did nothing to deserve me being angry."
"But that doesn't stop you from being angry because of what happened and then being angry at yourself for being angry."
"… When did you figure all this," Kai asked, attempting to discreetly wipe away a tear that had fallen.
"… Remember when you had asked Dr. Borg to help me get my footing in the city?"
"Yeah?"
"I tried to apologize to him about what happened to PIXAL."
"Oh … so, um, what did he say?"
"That it wasn't my fault – he … he had asked me to explain exactly how PIXAL, exactly what happened to her, then … then when I said everything, he nodded once and said I was innocent; I guess I was in shock, I didn't really know what to think – I expected him to be angry, to yell at me, have me thrown out – I think he might have realized it to, because he told me that yes, he was heartbroken at what at happened to her but that he wasn't so blind as to blame someone whose only crime was being around someone who made cruel decisions."
"… And now?"
"Now … I understand but part of me still feels guilty, like I'm walking away easily of a crime I committed, of multiple crimes … and I'm still here."
Still here, still in Ninjago, still alive.
"Skylor," Kai began, "I should probably tell you-"
"There's red around your eyes;" at Kai's expression, Skylor continued, "your make-up smudged a bit last night."
Kai raised a hand to just beneath his left eye as if checking to see if his make-up was still in place, but from the corner of his right eye, he could see an apology preparing to leave Skylor's lips.
"It was my decision to use the staff … that said-"
"If I'm not allowed to apologize then neither are you; it's called dark magic for a reason and … it likes to leave a mark even when it's gone."
"… How long does it take?" At Skylor's questioning look, Kai continued, "I've, been … having dreams … and … I've been … hearing … things … voices."
"… Let me call your sensei."
"Can you make sure the others don't know; I … I don't-"
"Okay"
"Really?"
"Yeah; for now, though …"
"Right!"
(~*~)
After sorting the clothes, setting the wash and setting a timer on their respective phones, Skylor took a moment to call Sensei Wu while Kai went to reorient himself with the kitchen staff on where best to help, that day. After around an hour, Skylor was back upstairs to put the first load in the dryer and place the second in the washer – and put the kunai somewhere out of sight. Another hour went by and Kai discreetly asked Skylor where he should put his cleans, to which she replied that her bed was clean and made, that he could put them there for now.
It was during the later end of the lunch rush an older woman came in – a tea woman who was familiar to Kai – taking in the crowd she opted to sit down and order as she waited for Kai and Skylor's to have a moment to talk. As it was, Kai was the first to take notice of her.
"Skylor," Kai said, grabbing her attention as she came over to drop off some empty plates in the kitchen, "I think we have our answer."
"What do you mean?"
"See that old woman at table eight?"
"Yeah?"
"She's an old friend, a very old friend, of, well, the First Family."
Skylor seemed to stall as she took note of Kai's emphasis; old, First … oh.
"Wait; you mean," Skylor paused, take a discreet look around for possible eavesdroppers, "you mean, she knew the First?"
Kai nodded.
"… How do you know she's here for, you know?"
At that moment, the two saw the old woman give them a small smile and a wink.
"She's here for us," Kai concluded.
(~*~)
It was around a half-hour more before Kai and Skylor could talk to Lady Mistaké and at that point it was clear that this was a conversation to be had in private. With permission, Skylor left Kai and the Honorable Woman in her apartment – free-rein of all utilities given – before returning to the first-floor restaurant.
There was silence for a few moments after Skylor left, the door closing behind her. Kai stared after where she had just been as Mistaké took a few moments to consider the young man in front of her. For as much as he was a wonderous balance between his parents, he also truly was so much like two dear young men she knew; one with a bite on his hand, the other with wind in his soul. She sighed silently, the past was the past as the young liked to say, and many of those same young would continue that it should remain in the past; however, the past also held lessons and whispers. Perhaps in this moment, those lessons would serve them well.
"Stare to long and you will light the door on fire," Lady Mistaké said as she walked to the open kitchen, "you are very much like your father in that regard."
Kai started when she had spoken up and turned to her in what could only be described as longing astonishment at the mention of his dad.
"You, … you knew my father," he asked, and though Kai hid it well, Mistaké, could still hear and see the notes of desperation. This may be a boy who had become a man far too soon, but he was also a small child who had never been allowed to do and have what all children need to properly grow.
Wu had made a promise, one that Mistaké knew that he regretted with his entire being. That's why, though a small part of her raged against Wu for not having stepped in sooner – despite knowing why the Jiang sibling had to stay in Ignacia regardless – that, that small part was quickly extinguished. Wu had made a promise to fire and water, unaware of the consequences; but that was then and now, now Wu may have become an old man, but he was still far, far younger than her and his father. The old man was her nephew and for as harsh as she could be with him, she still loved him enough to understand why he did as he did.
Not every child that looked like a child had the age of a child; after all, Garmadon was seven hundred years older than his little brother and there were times in their development that they appeared to be the same age regardless. But that long life also meant that sometimes he forgot that his father's creations, his father's elementals – for as long lived as these protectors were – did not grow in the same way; and sometimes that meant special care must be taken.
"Yes, I knew your father, as well as your grandmother, and your great grandfather and all the fire elementals before them," her voice was almost solemn but with a touch of melancholy joy as pleasant memories seem to linger in her eyes.
She looked up and smiled before saying, "did you know that they were all excellent tea makers." Mistaké turned to the kitchen island with her bag in hand – her back to the separate kitchen counter so she could face the young man, "I don't just mean in the brewing of it either, but also in the growing of leaves, the knowledge of when to pick them, of drying and roasting them; in fact, it practically became an unspoken tradition that an elemental of fire would go through the whole process of cultivating, plucking, roasting and brewing of the perfect cup of tea when they wish to propose or declare their romantic intentions."
Mistaké gave Kai a look as she paused in unpacking her bag, "you wouldn't happen to be growing a special bush of your own in your family garden, now, would you?"
Kai gave another start as he looked between the front door and Lady Mistaké, caught off guard as he was. After all, no one except his sister knew about the tea plant that Lady Grummiller had insisted that he grow.
To hear some else mention it; then again, Kai thought, if she really did know his family as far back as she claimed, then was it really a surprise that she knew.
"Do not worry, I will not be asking you to make any tea today," she continued, "that would be my job, you just need to make sure to take your medicine; I will be leaving instructions for your dear lady of course."
"Oh, were not- not yet- I mean-"
"You're a good boy, to wait, Kai; do not worry, these things will happen in their own time, you just need to be ready to act when the time does come – understand?"
"…I think so," Kai said as he finally approached the kitchen island where Lady Mistaké began putting the things from her bag into use.
"Good, now sit down dear and listen carefully; dark magic is a nasty, slimy, sticky, clammy, possessive thing – one need only to exist unprotected, no matter how briefly, around a small source of it to become a target of its intent."
"It's alive?"
"… Yes, if you could call its existence, living; but it is deader than the ghost – it is deader than the Cursed Realm herself and she loves to bathe her children, her favorites, in it."
"…So how do I get rid of it?"
"First, tea; it won't solve everything – no matter what Wu thinks – but it will certainly make things a little easier," she said as she placed a small paper bag before him, before continuing. "The primary problem is that it attacks the mind, and through the mind it attacks the soul, and the soul is where an elemental's power springs forth from; this will be a very long process Kai and there will be times when you will want to give up, but you must not – it has made its nest in you and will not be easily convinced not to return, no matter how many times you burn that nest, however, I can say this, should you follow my instructions to the letter in this battle even when there is peace, then, you will find victory."
"…And Skylor, will this be able to help her too?"
"It will, and perhaps a bit of an anti-magical tattoo removal service as well; I imagine that will go a long way towards lifting the weight off her shoulders and removing the shackles from her soul."
Kai was silent a moment as he considered her words before asking, "could you have removed Sensei Garmadon's tattoo?"
She paused a moment before saying, "yes, I could have."
"Then why did he still have it?"
Mistaké sighed, "he believed it to be an appropriate punishment and reminder of the weight of his sins; please, do not judge him too harshly – though he eventually came to understand that he was not the poison in his veins, he still holds himself accountable for the things that were done under its influence."
Kai was contemplative, his brow furrowed as he fought past the desire to stay quiet and considered his question, "… did … did Sensei Garmadon … ever have nightmares … about … hurting people … or about hurting … ending …"
"Himself," Mistaké asked, her voice quiet, "normally I would not say this, however, I think he would forgive me if only for the sake of one of his students."
There was silence as the old tea woman began to recall her memories.
"When Garmadon was, well I suppose you could say, when he visually looked like a teenager, he would often deny that there was anything wrong with him; after the bite, during his childhood, the poison made him a terror – there were times of clarity, of course, and as he got older, he was able to rein himself in, to the point where he claimed that whatever had been wrong with him had passed – from then forward, it took quite some time for him to come to recognize that he was not well."
She sighed.
"You must understand, the poison was like a type of madness, and people who are in this state often believe they are sane and that anyone who says otherwise is a threat, a danger, an attack, so, you could imagine the relief when Garmadon finally accepted that he was not well, but that was just the start; then he began having dreams, in them he saw himself taking a blade to his family, to his friends, to the villagers in Jamanakai – he would have these dreams in repetition, yet, when he was aware while in his dreams, he found he could not halt his path, so he changed the dream in a different way, by turning the blade on himself – unfortunately, there were also times when he would sleepwalk through the halls and even wake to find himself standing over his brother – that said, he began binding his wrist and ankles, that said it did not always work."
She took a breath, "there was a night when his nightmare and his sleepwalking coincided, in his dream he knew he was asleep, outside the dream, his father and brother had awoken."
"They saw him try to end the dream," Kai said, there was astonishment in his voice as Mistaké words led him to the unfortunate realization.
She nodded, "he still had that mark on his abdomen from where he tried – gave us all quite a scare – but I will tell you one thing that he was never able to convince Wu of; no matter how many times those dreams repeated, Garmadon always wanted to live – like I imagine you do as well."
Kai shuddered as he recalled his dreams; she was right though, no matter how many times the horrific images played, no matter how many times he took the knife upon himself, his family was back, and he wanted to stay with them. That didn't mean the thought had never crossed his mind – there was a reason he went down to the Sliter pit so many times.
"Did he ever genuinely consider it, that it would have been better?"
"… Yes, there were times, but Kai, like Garmadon, you cannot blame yourself for the actions of others and you cannot dwell on things that were done out of your control, dwelling on what ifs will kill you and right now, they are killing you; sorrow is all well and good but when it takes you away from your family, from those you love then all it will do is cause more pain – I won't pretend that it will be easy, and you do not have to tell them anything, but I have no doubt that they are worried about you and want you with them even if it gets hard to see it sometimes, you must endure, Kai, if not for yourself, right now, then for them."
In his mind Kai could see the nightmares but he could also see Skylor's worry and relief from that morning, he could see Lloyd, Misako, Garmadon and Wu, concern coming through clearly. He could see Lou, Ed and Edna as they lingered, telling him that they expected to see him on their next visit. He remembered Zane, yesterday, wanting to talk as he ran aways from him. And he remembered Nya, when she was three, a year ago after Zane's funeral, and now on the Bounty.
Kai put his head down on the counter, quiet tears springing forth as held himself. Mistaké could hear his near silent gasps as he cried; her own eyes glistened as she recalled the boy who was now a man who was no longer with them. Gathering herself, she gave him his privacy as she finished brewing the tea she had brought, the separate bag of the leaves set aside. Wu would recognize it, and he would know how to not draw attention to the private matter. That aside, she would set up a delivery so fire and amber would have what they needed. It was not a perfect solution, but it would hold them until their salvation arrived.
When Kai's tears had slowed enough, he heard the clink of a teacup. Rasing his head, he took the cup in hand.
"Drink all of it dear, you will need one small pot every two days," Mistaké said, "once you are done with your first cup, I believe we should do something about your laundry."
Kai nodded, as he took a sip, not yet trusting his voice; the tea was bitter but there was also an aftertaste that almost seemed like sweet relief.
When his cup was empty, Kai went off to get the rest of his clothes out from the dryer while Mistaké began folding what had already been placed in Skylor's room. Entering the room, Kai was met with a second cup that he drank slowly as he worked. As they worked, Mistaké began to regale him with stories from Garmadon and Wu's childhood, in turn, Kai told her stories of Nya's childhood and of Lloyd's antics between adventures.
Time passed swiftly and when they had completed their work, Mistaké insisted that he take a nap.
"It helps the medicine to work better," she said.
Whether that was true or not – apparently it was true he would later find out – a nap after everything sounded like paradise.
(~*~)
When Kai woke up later, it was to the smell of boiling beef broth, frying fish and roasting seaweed bacon – it reminded him of home, a long time ago.
"Good evening, young one," Mistaké said without turning around to see him, "your lady said that she would be back up after closing so I asked and have been given rein of the kitchen." Now she turned to look at him, "would you like to help?"
"Sure," he said as he shook the last of his nap out of his system.
Once Kai was ready to help, Mistaké handed him another cup of tea to drink as he worked.
"Seaweed bacon," Kai asked.
"I thought it might be nice," Mistaké said as she checked on the fish, "your mother and her family always insisted on having seaweed with every meal."
"I remember that," Kai said fondly as he began chopping the vegetables Mistaké had placed before him, "Nya always hated it, but she had already realized that I loved the stuff – every meal, she would try to sneak her portion onto my plate without our parents noticing, they figured it out regardless, and every meal, mom would try a different preparation or recipe to get Nya to eat it."
Mistaké chuckled, "have you had any luck?"
"None in the slightest."
"Hm … have you ever tried candied fish?"
"Every New Year."
"Try candied seaweed bacon, next time."
"…Huh, I'll have to see where I can sneak it onto her plate, otherwise she'd refuse to eat it on principle."
Mistaké let out a trailing laugh, "oh, Wu was the same way, anything he didn't want to eat, he would push onto Garmadon's plate."
"Did he ever get caught?"
"Every time – but the day he first had tea; it was like he fell in love, after that, every meal had two pots of tea, one for Garmadon to share with his father and the other was all for Wu otherwise, he would try to drink his brother's cup."
The two continued on, filling the kitchen with good memories and laughter. The soup was skimmed, the fish and seaweed bacon were plated, and the rice cooker was checked as the two home chefs worked in tandem.
"Wow, it smells amazing in here," Skylor said sometime later as she entered the apartment just as her two guests were about to prepare the dumpling wrappers for filling.
"Skylor," Kai exclaimed, rushing over to embrace her swiftly – a moment after she put down the small box she had brought, filled with fruit covered mochi for dessert – then lifting to swing her in a circle before hugging her close once more.
"You're in a good mood," she said out loud before asking in a low voice, "how are you feeling?"
Kai was quiet as he took in the moment, when he spoke, his voice low and tingid with hope, "I think … I think I'm gonna be okay – maybe not always, but I will be … I want to be."
Her eyes searched his before she let out a soft grin and said, "okay … just know, I'm here if you need me; alright?"
"Alright … thank you, and you too, whenever you need me."
"Thank you," she said as the two came out of their embrace, turning to look over at Mistaké, "so what are you two making?"
"Beef wonton soup, fried fish, seaweed bacon and a few other odds and ends; would you like to help," Mistaké asked with a gentle smile.
"Of course," Skylor replied before turning to Kai to ask, "seaweed bacon?"
"My mother used to make it."
"Hm, can't wait to try it," she said, a smile gracing her face – a smile that Kai matched whole heartedly – as the tea woman put her to work wrapping the vegetable dumplings and Kai to wrap the pork dumplings; Mistaké, meanwhile began making mapo tofu – with a little extra kick.
Time passed pleasantly as conversation floated on the steam wafting up from bamboo steamer baskets. By the time they sat down to eat, Mistaké had added to their menu a plate of cooked bok choy, broccoli, peas in their pods, mung bean sprouts, carrots, mushrooms and chopped cabbage all mixed together in a sweet and sour sauce.
"Now," Lady Mistaké started from her place at the head of the table as she was serving the fish, "I know in Ignacia they flip the fish to symbolize a new beginning, however, on the islands and at the piers, doing such things is a bad omen for boats – so what shall I do?"
"It's your home, Skylor," Kai said.
"I think you should just remove the spine, Mistaké," Skylor said with a smirk at her fiery companion, "for the safety of the Bounty and her passengers."
"Ah, truly a wise decision," the tea woman returned with a laugh.
"Kai," Skylor continued, "you said your mother …"
"She's from the Badaui Village, further south on the coast, ever heard of it?"
"No, I hav–, no wait," Skylor pondered as she took a sip of her ginger tea, then with a snap of her fingers, "I remember now, I think I was seven, no eight; I overhear Clouse talk about it once – he was annoyed, I think it was one of those 'if I ever heard it again it will be too soon' kind of things."
"That's good to hear – I should probably send them a note regardless though," he returned, though the last part was muttered as he took another bite of his food.
"Kai," Mistaké started, "have you and your sister visited Badaui Village yet?'
"That's a complicated thing."
"How so," Skylor asked.
"My mother's family doesn't like my father's family – they love Nya though, so that's good – she avoids them like the plague though, kind of makes it hard to organize a visit."
"What about Ignacia?"
"That's a bit more of a mix bag; she likes it and avoids it for the same reason – tradition and the work I have to put into keeping it; I can understand it though," he said appearing lost in time. "My parents were the village heads, my father's family had been since the village's founding, so when they disappeared, it fell to me to handle things, I was lucky we had Lady Grummiller to give me a grace year to prepare – Nya found it a bit ridiculous but having all these responsibilities, taking care of her and my family's standing, it kept me busy."
"I think I can understand the wanting to keep busy."
"Keeping busy is all well and good," Mistaké said with sly smile, as she took a sip of her tea, "but I hope the two of you can remember to take some time for yourselves; I hear Ninjago park will be hosting a small free vintage film festival – this Friday night at sunset I believe – perhaps the two of you could go."
Both elementals turned red as they began to sputter their replies to the old tea woman much to her amusement that would fuel the night.
As the night stretch on, dinner passed into contented memory.
"I can go back with you," Skylor offered Kai as they stood at the door to her main apartment after dinner had been cleaned up, the fire elemental holding a to go bag containing dumplings for Lloyd, Nya and Zane that sat beside the medicine Mistaké had set aside for the fire elemental.
"No, it's alright, I … I think I'm going to be alright; um, about my laundry …"
"We can take care of that in the morning, if you'd like?"
"Yeah, I can make that work; about Friday?"
"I'm not sure, I'm ready to date."
"Oh, uh, that's alright, I mean–"
"No, Kai, I mean, I like you, a lot, and I would be lying if I said I didn't want to date you; just, right now after the island – I don't think I'm ready for that kind of commitment, but that's just right now."
"Then what about a 'not date', no pressure just two friends who really like each other, hanging out because they want to."
Skylor laughed, "okay, then it's a 'not date'."
"I can pick you up an hour before sunset, there's a boba tea place that I think you'd like, we can go there before the festival."
"Deal, text me when you get home."
"Promise."
And with one last hug he was out the door.
(~*~)
When Zane awoke that morning, it was to the smell of seeping tea and brewing coffee. Looking around the room he shared with the other ninja, he could see Lloyd sleeping upside down, Jay hugging his stuffy while muttering about a new invention, and Cole drooling over dreams of cake. Rising from his bed – and seeing that PIXAL was still in rest – he absently noted that Kai's bed was freshly made as he left the room. Reaching the kitchen he could hear voices.
"I see," Sensei Wu said, "thank you for telling me this Kai, I will do what I can to help."
"Thank you, Sensei," Kai returned, "and again, I'm sorry about the way I've been behaving lately."
"That you are doing your best to become well is all I need, I will be meditating in my room; please have someone come for me when breakfast is prepared."
"Of course, Sensei."
Ducking behind a corner to avoid being seen; Zane was still positive that the second son knew he had been eavesdropping – regardless, the old master left without a word. Waiting a moment more, Zane moved slowly to the kitchen door, and though he hesitated, he eventually gave the frame a knock. Another moment passes, the ice elemental's head, ducked as he attempted to work out what to say before a smaller frame crashed into him – holding tight.
"I'm sorry."
That was all he needed to hear before he held fast to his normally fiery brother.
"I won't ask," he returned, "can I help?"
"… Okay."
As the sounds of breakfast began to fill the kitchen, eventually, so did the words of the past. As words continued the distance that had been created between two brothers began to mend. As breakfast was completed, the rest of the family began to gather around the table.
Nya found her yawn cut short as a custom homemade specialty latte was placed in front of her, looking up from the drink she could see the sheepish look on her brother's face and recognized his apology – accepting the drink and the unspoken words with a contented smile.
"Woah," Jay said suddenly, his own espresso – brewed by Zane – sitting to the side, forgotten, "why don't you ever make something like that for me."
"One, you never ask," Kai returned, "two, Zane already gives you espressos; no reason to give you something else that will have you bouncing off the walls more than normally."
"Okay but what if I promise not to get caffeine overload."
"Yeah, I'm not risking that shaky promise."
"But Kai!"
"I suppose," Zane started, hand reaching over to Jay's cup, "if this espresso is that unappealing to you–"
"MINE," Jay said suddenly, guarding his cup of black gold, to the amusement of the gathered.