Jinshi opened the letter and mused over its contents. How did they manage to get her in the named clans meeting?

He motioned Suiren over, a smile breaking across her wrinkled features as she recognized the handwriting, "I should summon her then young Master?"

"Yes please."

"Would you like any additional preparations?" She was slightly hesitant as her last attempt was not well received.

Walking into a room lit and scented for a honeymoon was rather trauma inducing, having forced Jinshi to process what he would actually want. "I'm sure she'd appreciate dinner and a drink."

Disappointment flashed across her features for an instant, and her voice carried a tint of sadness, "Very well Sir."

I can't give you grandchildren without turning the court on its head, he mentally replied crankily. He had heard just about enough from both Suiren and Gaoshun. He was glad they were all on board with his relationship, but in hindsight they were probably the reason he was emotionally blindsided when Maomao came in with a bag full of precautions. A much needed reality check to be sure, but a vexing puzzle amidst the long awaited reciprocation.

The prince sighed heavily and returned to his mountains of paperwork.

…..

Maomao was a bit apprehensive as she entered Jinshi's manor. She had left her herbal abortifacients with Suiren last time so she didn't feel the need to cart in another set. The apothecary caught the scent of roasted meat as the final door opened. Jinshi was reclining while picking at a delightful spread, he motioned her to join him and commenced with pleasantries before diving in. The medical office seemed to have an uptick in training injuries lately, he shared how the Empress and her children were doing.

He sipped his tea thoughtfully, "So how did you end up at the named clans meeting?"

"I was coerced."

He shook his head with a chuckle, "I'm sure, I'm asking how not why."

She looked off to the side, "medicinal plant encyclopedia."

The Prince could barely contain his knowing smile, "That would do it, and who was pulling the strings?"

She scowled and regaled Lakan using Yao and Enen. He was relieved to hear Lakan's brother made it back safely and definitely agreed with her that he should be amply rewarded for his effort in the Western Province as well as recompense for his abandonment. He pondered if there was an appropriate woman he could provide an introduction for considering the farmer's pursuit of a bride, to his surprise Maomao suggested he hold off for the time being.

The apothecary paused, seeming to broach an important topic. "How much do you know about the Shin clan?"

"What are you asking about specifically?"

"Did you know a prince stepped out of his succession to marry into their line?"

Well isn't THAT interesting. He mused internally, adding another thing to his to-do list. Maomao watched the gears turn quietly, as he took a thoughtful bite. She continued, "He was given an heirloom to show his continued relationship with the emperor."

"Well that certainly made your attending worth your while," mentally pushing that research to the top of his list.

She sipped her alcohol, Suiren was happily spoiling her, "Compared to everything else it was a fair trade."

"Maamei seemed to have specific intentions for the event."

She paused, deciding how much to reveal, "I can't speak to the Ma clan as our interaction was brief, but the La clan had me with the strategist for… extensive stretches."

He winced, "Oof." Placing a kiss on her forehead he added, "Well regardless you have my thanks, I know my and our choices have you walking a tightrope."

Swallowing the remains of the cup and stretching she mused, "Hopefully the path isn't as treacherous as previously believed."

He leaned back against the couch, "Can you elaborate?"

She looked distant as she refilled her cup, clearly arranging her words, "If you need to lay down a boundary with a clan the response can be as simple as a comment and as drastic as militaristic bloodshed correct?"

He shook his head at the bewildering change of subject, "Well hopefully it's not just the two options, I would feel there is a range in between."

Her eyes locked with his and he swallowed nervously, her voice was ever devoid of great emotion, "So too is the range between sleeping in the same room and intercourse."

Whoa. Jinshi's mind reeled, he wasn't trying to push this tonight, "Wait," shaking his head and leaning back, "what are you asking Maomao?"

"I'm not asking, I'm saying, you act as if we need to dive into birth control and the whole bit, and perhaps that's my fault for coming in with those expectations and supplies last time. I'm saying we don't have to put that on the table yet if you want me to spend more time here."

Jinshi's mind wanted an update and requested if it could be shut down to install. He ran a hand through his hair and tried to drop the follow up research thoughts so he would have the bandwidth for this exploration. "Say that again, but different."

She pointed to one end of the table as if it were a scale of measurement, "Falling asleep at the Verdigris house while I'm making medicine or on our last trip, holding hands, chaste kisses," she came about of the way across, "The time you tried to feed me honey, or the waterfall incident."

He blushed, her hand came further towards the end, "The time I took revenge on the first Western Province trip," her hand reached the other end of the table, "Full intercourse with abortifacients."

So many emotions were flashing across his consciousness, along with follow up questions he'd never had the time or space to ask. His brain twitched at one question, "Why were the honey and waterfall incidents on the same level?"

"Equally annoying and unwanted at the time."

At the time? He glanced at some honey on the table and thought better of it, she followed his eyes to the vessel and rolled her own, shaking her head with the slightest amount of amusement. The prince attempted to quell his emotions for a moment and consider the spectrum she'd laid out for him. "Why is falling asleep in the same place as holding hands not further along in your spectrum?"

She pondered what he meant as politically being in the same room looked to the outside world as a tryst regardless of actions taken or not. "You are often overly exhausted and have proven repeatedly that you can sleep without pushing anything, and apparently my presence is helpful."

How many times over years had he used her as a pillow or calming presence? "So if I asked you to stay over to just sleep?"

"Until proven otherwise I would believe you, you've earned that much. Granted I'd appreciate it if I didn't need to be at the medical office at the crack of dawn the next morning."

Hmmmmm, "I'd still put it at least here," he said, motioning to the middle.

"Why's that?"
"The amount of self control required."

"Fair."

Jinshi gently took her hand and kissed the back of it, "So if I asked you to stay tonight?"

"I have a mid shift tomorrow, so sure."

This was not how he expected the night to go. Confusion melded with elation, he stuffed them both down for the value of the conversation, "What would you call the lower half of this 'spectrum' of yours."

"For the sake of this conversation, a 'quiet night in'?"

"And the other half?" the prince asked with a blush.

"I don't know, 'night time activities'? Granted there are behaviors that spread through the spectrum."

"Such as?"

"Petting."

He looked at his cat-like creature confused, "Is there a spot behind your ears that makes you purr?"

Ah the glare, he did enjoy it so. She sighed, her hand was still in his, she stroked the side of his hand with her thumb, "This is petting," she released and rubbed his back gently, it was remarkably soothing, he watched quietly out of nervousness and joy at her forwardness, "also petting." The pressure went from broad to light as she got closer and brushed along his neck and into his hair a bit he shivered, "Still petting." He was so focused on how close she was and the sensation he was not expecting a brush between his legs. Launching out of the chair he tried not to shout "What was that about!"

"Still petting," she replied lamely, she motioned to their imaginary scale on the table, putting her hands at about and the length of its surface, "the behavior has a range."

"A warning would be nice," he snarled.

"Really Master Jinshi? After all these years you're going to give me a hard time?"

He paused, realizing Maomao wasn't actually pursuing him, this was an exploration, she hadn't left her spot on the couch. The prince was suddenly seeing previous attempts by others and projecting them onto the cool headed daughter of a courtesan.

She looked at the table, "So despite previous bravado you really don't want to push past the half-way point?"

He considered his emotional and physical response to the question, as -being male- they were in opposition. It was still 'holding back' but not like before, this left room to explore and bond and just be close which was something he had desperately wanted for ages. "Why don't we set the expectation of any request starting as a 'quiet night in' with the option of requesting 'activities' if we are enjoying ourselves?"

The apothecary thought for a moment, "Some abortifacients are best taken before a given encounter."

"What if we take that option out entirely and explore this wider range you speak of?"

"Are you sure?"

A flash of anguish crossed his features, "There are other things I need to figure out first, and if we never even approach it then you don't have to poison yourself for my sake."

Her look was fascinating, it was a blink of confusion with a bit of sadness as if he took away her alcohol, "You act as if I hate poison, and these are low level at best."

Jinshi looked at her pointedly, "I'm gonna say this again, I don't want you to needlessly poison yourself when you've made it abundantly clear there's a wider range to develop and explore here," the prince's voice softened, "With the reality that life isn't looking to slow down any time soon, having you as a genuine sleeping companion sounds remarkably appealing."

His poor cat looked so confused. Being raised in the Verdigris House this was so far from her expectations. There was some level or relief, granted, but in the grand scheme of their adventures he'd consistently pushed and instigated. It seemed weird to pull back now. On the other hand she considered how much time they spent in each other's presence, most of which had been transactional as master to servant, let alone minutes of not a few hours at a time over the span of days, weeks or months with communication limited by others in the room. Companion didn't carry that same hierarchy, then again he'd been purposely blurring that line for some time now. It would also mean she could make sure he actually slept more than a couple hours a night.

She took a sip, "Okay."

Great… now what? They both thought.

Jinshi excused himself to use the facilities and to his surprise as he opened the door to his room there were two sets of sleepwear on his bed. Suiren to the rescue, this time without the candles, aphrodisiacs or incense, though there was a freshly pulled bath. He sighed with a chuckle and notified Maomao upon his return, she peeked in the door and saw a pile for her, which was a little taller given that it had a set of the next day's clothes available underneath. "Are you sure she isn't a trained assassin? She was so quiet."

"What are we talking about dear?" they both jolted at her sudden appearance to gather the remains of dinner.

"Only admiring your prowess Lady Suiren," Maomao said with a nervous glance.

"Oh ho ho ho, don't mind me Xiaomao, there are plenty of leftover supplies from when you worked here, and while I miss your help, it's always a delight to have you here."

Maomao bowed slightly from the couch and Suiren waved it off, taking dishes. The apothecary gathered a few dishes to make it easier to clear. She almost stood up to help but her elder shot her a glance that told her she was right where she was supposed to be… which felt awkward.

"Would you like a bath?" Jinshi asked.

"What happened to a 'quiet night in'?"
"Wha-NO! Did you only see the clothes? She prepared you a bath."

The apothecary blinked, and glanced towards his room, "But why there?"

He groaned, "Despite our concerns about the court and Empress Gyokuyou there are a couple individuals very impatiently waiting for offspring."

She side eyed him lamely, "So it's not just Lahan then."
"Add Suiren and Gaoshun to the list."

"I'm sure if it wasn't a question of politics or succession the Emperor and Empress would probably also be on that list."

She rubbed her eyes sleepily, "Okay, I'll go bathe, I'll be out in a bit."

By the time she came out he was settled in his night clothes and reading yet another document in his bed. She looked as unsure as he felt. Last time they were too exhausted to register, this time it was intentional. He pulled the corner of the blanket back for her to get in and chose to continue reading. As she climbed in she asked, "Are you actually going to sleep or study til you drop from exhaustion?"

He snapped the book shut and eyed her, his mouth opened a couple of times and each time he thought better, finally he eyed her with a glint of mischief, "I wasn't going to push this subject at all tonight."

"Would you like me to go?"

"NO- I mean-" he backpedaled and sighed, "I was trying to distract myself while you got settled."

She looked down at her night robe, it wasn't exactly scandalous, in fact with the cool spring nights it was built for warmth. "Distract from what? There's nothing to look at."

He plopped the book down on the nightstand and layed down in a huff, facing away from her. Climbing in she nestled up to his back and he went tense, "Jinshi, come on now, you can't be THAT nervous. Why is it that every time I move I'm getting a mixed message?"

The messages were indeed mixed and tangled as the memories were fighting the much desired reality which was arguing with impulses. He was having quite a rough time, but didn't know how to convey any of it. He was rather wishing he had had some alcohol as well, but Suiren had offered her the strong stuff and he had a meeting tomorrow he needed to be sharp for. He sighed heavily and began shifting to roll onto his back, waiting for her to move out of the way. Covering his face with the crook of his arm, Jinshi sighed heavily, "I want you here, I'm just having to remind myself that you're you and not all those other crazy people who've tried to get where you are."

"What is that supposed to mean!?" she said, raising up onto one arm so she could look at him.

"You are the first person I've wanted here, that doesn't mean you're the first person to make it into my bed."

She winced, "Was it the busty court lady who smacked me?"

"No but Basen has kept her clear of me. Along with a litany of others."

"I feel like I'm supposed to put a hand on your shoulder or something, but I feel like that's going to have the wrong effect. Please tell me what you want here."

"Can I just… hold you?"

"O-okay," she said, unsure.

He removed his arm from his face and looked at her thoughtfully, quietly taking the wrist she was propping on and guiding it so her back was to him. She felt his warmth surround her, his arm sliding beneath her neck for support, the other around her torso, and his legs coming up behind hers. Feeling very small, but also very safe she nestled in, his warm breath was on her shoulder. Knowing it was only going to get warmer, she put her free arm over his and brought a leg out from under the covers. Hugging the arm a bit she asked, "Are you okay?"

He could still smell the medicine she had made that afternoon in her hair. It was an anchor amidst his sea of emotions, "I think so."

"Okay, sweet dreams Master Jinshi," she yawned.

Why would I fall asleep when this is my reality? He asked himself, reciprocating her yawn. Sleep won that battle rather quickly for the exhausted prince.

….

Unfortunately when one enjoys alcohol, nature can call in the middle of the night. Such a moment drove Maomao to consciousness as the moon was high in the sky. Her eyes opened and she found herself rather overheated. She gently tried to move his arm so she could get free, however his response was much like the night he held her while he himself was drunk. She always forgot how strong he was. It was like trying to wiggle one's way out from under a tree root. Her movements becoming less subtle she tried to change tactics, she rubbed his arm softly, "Hey, Jinshi… Master Jinshi, hey."

His response was to curl around her tighter, including the arm that was under her head. If she wasn't pinned before now she was completely tangled. She growled obscenities to herself, her voice rising above a whisper, "Jinshi, come on now, lemme go. Jinshi I'll be right back."

The prince however was coming out of some kind of dream where his kitten was fleeing his grasp, rising out of consciousness he could feel her sweat through her robe as she tried to pry herself free. He released her all at once and she nearly rolled off the side.

"What are you made of- ROCK?" she asked, getting off the bed.

Tired brain did not process the question, his semblance of a response was more like "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be right back."

As she utilized the facilities she debated a fresh set of sleepwear and decided against it, too much hastle. Coming back she found the prince had resumed his position on his back with his arm over his face. She decided to be brave and move up next to him, perhaps he's not very awake.

She set her head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arm around her back, taking her other hand in his. Feeling very supported she felt sleep was trying to overtake her despite the thumb caressing the back of her hand. Jinshi on the other hand, was drowsy but still wrestling with the emotions in the dream and the weird anxiety it brought to reality. She did come back, and she didn't shy away, and maybe this was okay? He would be lying to himself if he didn't acknowledge other urges still trying to surface. What he didn't realize was how deep that fear of abandonment went, since he had been told since he was a child that attachments were inappropriate for the Moon Prince. Here he was latching himself to a creature whose coping mechanism was detachment, a recipe for chaos if ever there was one.

"Jinshi, are you okay?" a sleepy voice murmured at his shoulder.

"Mmyeah why?"

"Do you think I'm cold?" He realized why she was asking, he had gone from stroking her hand to her arm, gently rubbing it with his palm.

His hand froze, coming to grips that his body and mind were not on the same page. "Maybe I'm not okay, I'm definitely out of sorts."

The apothecary was not trained in sickness of the mind, "I didn't bring any sedatives, I'm sure Suiren has some chamomile or maybe a lavender incense?"

He squeezed a little tighter, "Is there something else we could try?"

"Do you want to wind down or focus?"

"Focus?"

"Do you trust me?"

He cupped her cheek in his hand, "Yes."

"You're free to push me away. I will not be offended."

What is that supposed to mea- oh. Not only was she up, she was hovering over him, her hands braced to either side of his pillow. She took a calming breath, her lips inching ever closer to his. Well he was certainly focused now. Flashes of other women raced through his mind as he felt her breath mingle with his. But she never made contact. Hovering just a hair's breadth away she waited.

Do you trust me?

This wasn't forced, it was as blatant of an invitation as she was ever going to offer, but she was making an effort not to trigger him. He hesitated, and softly closed the gap. There was a warmth, a gentle peace in the contact, it carried none of the desperation other women had imparted, nor did it carry the commanding enticement when she exacted revenge after the banquet at Gyokuou's. His hands found her sides and caressed her sweetly, she was slow and purposeful. He found himself desperately sad when she pulled up.

"You okay?" She asked softly.

He nodded, tracing her neck and gently tugging asking for more. She obliged, leaving her hips to the side but letting her torso rest on his. He supported her head and wrapped his other arm around her, continuing to caress her side. The terrible memories melted away, replaced by this cautious care which kept pulling away respectfully to make sure he was okay. If anything it was driving other urges forward as his muscles began to truly accept that this wasn't some stranger, this was his beloved Maomao.

The apothecary knew she could push too far. She hadn't forgotten the frog incident. Breaking it off yet again she sat up, "Do you think you can sleep now?"

"'Can' and 'want to' are two different things."

"That's fair, but I'm still expecting a 'quiet night'."

Lay back down, the tug on her sleeve seemed to ask. She complied. The prince wanted to get up, to trail hot kisses and bites along every bit of skin she'd be willing to expose, to push into 'activities' as they were calling them. Jinshi was certainly focused now. Though only fighting one mental battle was easier than three or four. He decided how they had fallen asleep previously was the best position for him at the moment and encouraged her to present her back. He couldn't resist her neck though, his free hand pulled gently at her torso while he nibbled and trailed his tongue along her the spine he found himself wanting to suck along the gentle curve. She shuddered a bit, and to his surprise Maomao loosened her collar.

"Out of sight please."

Well that wasn't sedating at all.

Her torso wasn't long enough for him to be nestled in her neck and feel his pressure building below. He was rather thankful for that at this moment. Good gracious she's so soft! He pulled her closer as her collar line bloomed red. Feeling a soft 'pat pat' on his hand he paused, "I need you to make a conscious choice here Jinshi. Are we heading into activities?"

After a long beat he sat up, had a drink and made use of the facilities, returning to retangle her in his embrace, sighing contentedly. "No, quiet night."

"Okay, sleep well," she murmured, barely conscious.

"Sleep well my Love."