Sloane

I can't tell if Aetos is avoiding me, if he's giving me the space to avoid him, or even if I care because I can't care. Because obviously, I don't care.

I don't like him.

Maybe it's just that we didn't get to finish when we were together. Maybe I just need to get it out of my system.

But Gods I can't have sex with the man who's responsible for Liam's death!

Liam wouldn't agree... Well, he would agree that I shouldn't sleep with Dain Aetos… but he wouldn't hold Dain responsible for his death.

I can almost hear him rationalize Dain's actions.

He thought Xaden was a traitor trying to seduce Violet and take down Navarre… and he was right. We were literally smuggling weapons to the enemy and he did seduce Violet and he did take down the riders quadrant at least. You can't blame him for trusting his own father.

Liam would say this and widdle one of those stupid wooden figurines, smile at me and roll his eyes and then make some joke about how that doesn't mean I should fuck my wingleader though.

Regardless of any of that, I can't be thinking about this when I'm trying to study these stupid runes with Trissa and Jesinia.

Jesinia came to Aretia for this top-secret rune project– and she still won't tell me what it's about. I don't think Trissa knows either.

At first, I thought they just wanted to talk to me about runes because of my mother, but now Jesinia keeps bringing up me wielding– it's like a fucking conspiracy to get me to wield. As if the world needs someone else draining magic from different sources.

"The Siphon has historically been the key difference between revolutionary times regarding the balance of magic. The first six refer to the riders yes, but they were powerful due to the five elements of magic, and the one– the siphon to redistribute that power" Jesinia signs and I'm barely looking. I'm already dealing with Dain fucking Aetos getting Colonel Gerault to basically stalk me trying to get me to wield, I don't need Jesinia and Trissa pushing too.

"I don't think I'm redistributing the balance of magic to anyone, Jesinia– but thanks" I sign and go back to doodling the runes she and Trissa are insisting only I have the power to temper.

Jesinia just huffs in annoyance, like she doesn't understand why I refuse this major fated destiny she thinks is in front of me. She can't wield, she doesn't understand any of this.

She thinks signet powers from riders represent the physical magical connection to the Gods, with each God representing a type of signet class categorized by the five elements, and then the balance. Which is me. Also, Bodhi, and anyone with a similar kind of magical dispersal power- most mental signets and fliers gifs fall under this category according to her. Loial, the Goddess of Love is the God outside of the elements, and for which the Siphon is apparently the most powerful.

Apparently, that's the issue with the venin, according to Jesinia- not death, but balance. Because Siphons work within the laws of physics and magic, venin don't. when a venin drains magic it leaves nothingness- a siphon transforms the power, which seems to be the only difference between me and a venin. And magic, just like anything else, cannot be created or destroyed- venin destroy it. Or something?

The whole thing makes very little sense, and if Jesinia and Liam weren't friends, I wouldn't be listening to her at all. The runes are interesting though… They're anchoring the ability to wield to another magical being– it looks like she's trying to expand the wards and prevent dark wielders from channeling but on an individual basis. It's a weird thing to be studying, but if it works it's a cool idea.

I just won't be the one tempering it.

"Well, we're just wasting our time until you're able to power this Mairi." Trissa says, closing her books. "In the meantime, maybe see if you can temper the subject rune without the anchor? Perhaps if Mairi can't power them together, we could just do it one at a time– the issue being that without an anchor, the subject remains untied and the power may leach out too quickly… Just a thought" She shrugs at Jesinia. Then, collecting her things, walks over to the table of third years all working on their homework.

I've been purposely avoiding looking at the table so as not to accidentally look at Dain– but in doing so, I apparently missed that everyone but Dain has already left.

Fucking perfect.

"Aetos… I'm glad you're still working, but perhaps you should see if Mairi can help, she's a natural and you seem to have been abandoned by the rest of your yearmates." Trissa says to him, looking over at me.

"Yes, Bodhi and Imogen finished a while ago, and then Quinn and Neve–" He starts to explain.

"Don't hold yourself to the same standard as the Tyrs in your squad Aetos, they've been studying runes a bit longer than the 6 months you have" She explains and then grimaces at the wooden disks in front of him, apparently unimpressed before leaving the library.

Jesinia packs up as well, "Please consider what I've told you, Sloane, your power will be what makes the difference here" She signs and then nods goodbye to Aetos before leaving as well.

And now we're alone… again.

Seriously, Fucking perfect.

"Do you need help?" I hear myself asking– immediately regretting it.

"Sure, yeah" He mutters, his eyes wide as I– for some unknown reason– rise to move to his table.

I pick up the disk he's trying to temper his rune into and sigh. Yeah. He needs help.

"You're trying too hard" I explain, noting the singed edges that indicate he's pushing too much energy into the tempering. "You're pulling the magic fine, but you're snapping the shapes in place when you should be… gentler. You'll get cleaner lines and cleaner lines give you more precision."

"Oh," He says and tries again, this time I watch his movements and speak up, adjusting his form and focus as he shapes the magic into what's needed for the runes he requires. "I didn't realize it was so... Physical, I guess I was thinking of it like lesser magics where it's more about mental pressure"

"I get that, but yeah, runes are physical" I shrug and look up at him, his eyes are on mine and he looks like he's remembering some more things that are physical. Like how his fingers worked inside of me the other day.

Or maybe I'm remembering that.

Fuck.

"Sloane" He starts. "About the other night… If I took it too far, I'm sorry–"

"No." I interrupt, "You didn't but I just... I can't. Not with you"

"Right," He says, and an awkward silence passes between us. "Not with me… because I'm your wingleader? Or because–"

"Are you in love with Violet?' I ask. Kicking myself. Gods.

I. Don't. Care!

I can't care! I can't believe I asked him that.

He looks like he can't believe I asked him that either. Like he doesn't know how to answer.

He looks down at his notes but his eyes aren't moving along the page, he just doesn't want to look at me anymore probably.

"I'm not in love with Violet… but I was," He says softly. "I'll probably always have some kind of feelings for her beyond just friendship. She was my best friend my whole life and when I finally made a move it was too late and I fucked up our whole friendship because of it, but no. I'm not in love with her." He looks back up at me, his eyes darting all over my face like he's trying to figure out why I would care.

"Why do you ask?" He finally asks.

"No reason just… rumors." I shrug.

"It got… easier to get over her in the last few months" He adds, looking away again and flipping through the pages of his book, seemingly at random. "I might not have learned my lesson about falling for someone who doesn't love me back, but I have… moved on"

"With?" I ask, after a moment and he looks at me again. Fuck I hate it when he looks at me.

He looks pained. Like not responding is physically hurting him but he's fighting against speaking as his jaw clenches and his eyes fall to my mouth.

"Are you in love with me?" I ask. Because I'm an insane person apparently, and he looks away again.

Good. He shouldn't be looking at me anyway.

"I think I might be, yeah," He says quietly. "Is that... Okay?"

"I…" No! Of course that's not Okay! I want to shout but it gets stuck in my throat. Maybe… it might be kind of okay?

"I can't say that back to you" I finally say.

He nods. "Yeah. I didn't think you would" He sighs and winces as if he already regrets what he's about to say. "Can you not say it because you don't feel it… or because I killed your brother?"

I… don't speak. I can't speak.

What?

"There's also the fun third option of it being both I suppose…" He says with a pained laugh.

"I should go," I say softly and he looks at me again as I collect my things.

"Right," He says, watching me pack up. "If you want to… I mean if you ever change your mind, or…" He pauses speaking when I look back at him, our eyes meeting. "if you just… I mean I'm pretty accustomed to falling for women who don't love me– I'll take what I can get, and you know where my room is."

I fumble my books and he stands, picking up his notes and discarded rune attempts, scooping them into his bag, and turns, leaving me standing there.

Why was that so fucking hot?

I'll take what I can get, and you know where my room is.

Shit.

I do know where his room is.

I walk back into my room in a bit of a daze. Mine. Not his. Not going to his room. And I get there in time to see Avalynn leaving to meet up with Baylor, so I change into an oversized t-shirt and shorts and climb into bed, considering all the stuff Jesinina was telling me about. She didn't come to Aretia in a gryphon's basket out of curiosity. She might be serious.

Thats important. That should be what I'm focusing on. Not Aetos. Not the way he felt the other night. How hard he was against me. The length of him. His mouth on my neck.

Fuck.

I climb out of bed and peek out into the hall, seeing no one. There's no reason not to. Just to get it out of my system, just to… see.

Gods this is a bad idea.

I leave my room and head the few doors down to Dain's room, knocking softly.

Maybe he won't answer and I'll forget this momentary lapse of judgment.

He answers after a heartbeat, his eyes wide and he lets out a breath like he was holding it.

"This doesn't change anything." I tell him "I just… "

I don't really know what I was going to say and Dain's just standing in his doorway looking like if he moves I might disappear.

"I can't be with you Aetos. But just… tonight maybe…"

"Just… tonight" He nods slowly. "You're… you're sure?"

"Yes–" I start but the moment I say it his hands pull me against him, into his room and his door closes.

Stepping forward he pushes my back against it the moment it shuts and his mouth falls onto mine.

"Thank the Gods" He mutters against my mouth and I sigh against the feel of him. His beard tickling my skin and his hands raking down the length of my body.

I was dressed for bed. I'm not even wearing anything under these stupid shorts and he's still fully dressed in his uniform, he's only taken his boots off when he got to his room.

But Gods he knows how to kiss.

His tongue sweeps against mine and my hands find the back of his head, holding him there and making me feel like I'm the only woman on the planet. Like I'm the air he breathes.

"Take your clothes off." He orders, stepping away from me, his eyes dark. "I want to see you"

He pulls his own shirt off and starts to undo his belt, watching me. So I do. I pull my top off and he lets out a guttural sound from the back of his throat, his hands back on me before I have time to move to pull my shorts off, his uniform leathers udon but still on.

"Gods you're beautiful" He whispers, his hands on my chest and his mouth taking one of my nipples.

"Fuck" I moan, as he sucks on me, his teeth grazing the sensitive skin making my hips roll up to him.

"I love how you moan for me," He says, his mouth moving to my other breast.

"Dain" I whisper and he lifts me off the floor, turning us and taking me to his bed. My back hits the mattress and he stands above me, his hands trailing the curve of my hips, and his fingers find the waistband of my shorts, pulling them down my legs until I'm bare.

"Fucking hell Sloane–" he says, kneeling before me, so I rise up on my elbows to look at him as he pulls me to the edge of his bed. "this last week I swear to the Gods I could still smell you on my fingers, and all I've wanted to do is taste you. All I've thought about for fucking days is this. The taste of you, and what you'll feel like coming on my tongue."

"Gods" I whimper as his mouth finds me, his tongue licking up my entrance before he sucks at my clit.

A rush of pleasure pulses through me in a straight line connecting my clit to the deep part of my chest, drawing a scream from my lungs and he groans at my reaction, the vibration from the noise coursing through me again before his fingers join his tongue and he works them into me.

"Dain!" I yell out again as another wave of pleasure steals my breath.

He leans back, his pointer and middle finger working me from inside and his thumb takes the place of his tongue while he looks at me, still perched on my elbows watching him.

Hips lips glisten from what he was doing to me and he smiles when his gaze locks on mine.

"You taste even better than I dreamed you would." He says, licking his lips and his eyes rake over me, looking at his fingers moving against me up my body back to my eyes, making his smile turn leering. "Do you know how many times I've gotten myself off to this exact image of you? Legs open for me, breath panting, eyes wanton. You are so fucking sexy Sloane, and if tonight is the only time I'll ever get you… I'm going to make sure you remember me."

He leans back down, sucking hard on my clit, making me scream.

"Gods Dain" I hear myself say, sounding like I'm almost begging. "Please"

I feel him nod against me in answer and the pace of his tongue against me stays the same, but his fingers inch out slightly, going for a higher angle rather than deeper and hitting that spot inside of me I can never quite reach by myself.

I don't just feel like I'm going to come. I feel like I'm going to combust. A power I'm almost unfamiliar with tightens and narrows to the exact spot his fingers hit until finally, whatever was building up within me releases and my whole body shutters. It's more than anything I've ever felt before. It's not just an orgasm, it feels like the universe has expanded, like every ounce of pain I've ever felt has evaporated, like my body doesn't exist anymore, only pleasure, only this moment.

I hear the echo of my scream when my body stops convulsing and I realize that his pace has changed from focusing on my clit, to lapping up everything I'm giving him with long strokes of his tongue against me.

"What the fuck" I mutter and he laughs against me, leaning back and I can see the evidence of myself on his face, his sheets, everywhere.

I just squirted.

I've never done that before.

"Gods, I'm sorry–"

"What in the name of Amari–" He kisses my inner thigh–"Could you possibly think"-He moves to kiss up my stomach–"You're apologizing for?"

"I don't know" I mutter "I.. I've never… I made a mess"

He laughs again, climbing on top of me, kissing his way up my body until he's right above me and he lends down to my ear.

"You are perfect" He whispers, his lips reaching my earlobe nipping at the lobe and sucking softly."You are a fucking goddess. No one has ever looked as incredible as you look when you come. And the taste of you... Gods Sloane I would down in you if you'd let me"

He kisses me then, and I can taste myself on his lips. Can feel how hard he is against me.

At some point, he kicked his way out of his leathers and I look down, seeing him for the first time. I knew he was big when he entered me the other day, I could feel it. But seeing the hard length of him, precome pooling at the head. Gods I want him inside of me.

He sees me looking at him and smiles. Propping himself up on his hands above me, settling himself between my legs.

"Did you like how I slid into you last time Sloane? The feel of my cock stretching you open for me. Filling you?"

"Yes" I breathe, and my arms give way so I fall flat on my back, he follows me down, lowering himself to one arm while the other finds one breast, teasing and pinching the nipple, making me squirm under him. "Please"

"Please what Sloane? What do you want?" He asks, pinching me harder.

"Please" I whisper again. Not quite able to beg him specifically to fuck me. Not yet anyway.

He kisses me. His tongue working against mine just like it did inside of me moments ago, and then his body shifts and he lay on his back, pulling me on top of him and hitching me up by my hips to straddle him.

"I want to watch you fuck me Sloane," He says and I instinctively rub myself against his length. "Fuck" he whispers, his head falling back and his hands gripping my hips tighter.

I hook my feet over the top of his thighs and rise up, guiding him to my entrances with my hands and sinking onto him when he thrusts upwards, feeling that incredible stretch, making me feel full and powerful as he enters me fully and our simultaneous moans are muffled in our open mouth kiss when I fall forward. My mouth against his and his hands slide up from my hips to my breasts as I begin to ride him.

He groans at the feeling and the sound is so unbelievably raw, I lean back, breaking our kiss, and swivel my hips.

"Fuck" He hisses "Gods damn you fell like fucking heaven."

I smile at the praise, loving that I can make him this open. Make him grateful. This emotion I'm driving from him... This raw energy.

His hips rock up to meet mine at each thrust, and his hands fall away from my chest to return to my hips, pulling me against him while I move.

I slide a hand down my body to stroke my clit while I fuck him and he moves his hands away from me, crossing them behind his head to watch me, open-mouthed and hungry like he can't believe what he's seeing.

I've always loved to be wanted but God he's making me feel alive in a way I can't describe. Like I'm his reason for breathing.

"You're doing so fucking good baby," He says, taking my breasts into his hands again and rising up to take one into his mouth.

I'm getting closer, and the intensity of it is almost too much, overstimulating me to the point where it feels like I can't take it anymore.

I fall forward against him, my hands moving from myself to his chest and I bend at the waist. He catches me, his hands moving back to my hips and his thumb stroking me, keeping me right on the edge while he pounds into me.

"You ride me so well baby" He whispers against my ear, having leaned up to me when I fell. "are you going to come for me?"

My body is already shuttering. I think I'm whimpering with the need for it all. I want to answer, I want to beg to finish, to beg for him to finish. For something. But I can't speak.

"Come for me Sloane" He orders like he's my fucking wingleader "Let me feel you come around my cock. Let me meet you there and fill this perfect pussy with my cum–"

"Yes" I cry, my voice higher and louder than I expected and he thrusts erratically against me, his thumb stroking circles around me, pushing harder until I shudder involuntarily and groan, my whole body clenching around his and any remaining strength that was holding me up vanishes. I fall completely against him in my release, the pleasure of it whipping through me.

He sits up fully and wraps his arms around my waist, holding me close to him, and in one more thrust, I feel him shutter too. Coming into me while my body still convulses, pulling him with me until he collapses back down to the mattress, his back bouncing slightly when he falls.

Fuck.

Gods that was…

Fuck.

I turn off of him, feeling him slide out of me and feel the evidence of his release dripping against my thighs.

He pulls me against him, kissing my forehead.

"You take me so fucking well" He mutters against my skin. "You did so good baby,"

He kisses me again and the warm comfort of his words makes me feel so… safe. So wanted. So sated. Like he knows what my body craves better than I do.

He holds me to him as we reposition ourselves so my head rests on his chest and he's stroking my hair, his lips still against my temple as our breathing calms.

"Stay with me," he asks softly. "Please"

"MMmh" I hear myself say in reply, feeling my eyelids growing heavy.

I know I shouldn't. I should leave. I should leave right the fuck now.

But he feels so good against me and he must have taken my mumbling to mean yes because he pulls the blank out from under us and tucks me in against him.

I said tonight… I said maybe we could just have tonight. So sleeping here doesn't mean anything. It doesn't mean I want him. It can't possibly mean I'm falling for him too.

I let my eyes drift shut and breathe deeply, falling asleep to the feeling of his heartbeat under my ear and his hands petting my hair.