Chapter 10
We were all sitting at home when the phone call came in. Percran answered the phone. I got the impression Tergiv thought it was beneath them to do the mundane human tasks. Percran listened for a few minutes, thanked the person, then hung up.
"Anything important?" Tergiv asked, clearly already under the impression it was not.
"Apparently my host's mother has died. That was a sibling informing of the funeral time."
"Well, we don't need to worry about that," Tergiv said dismissively.
«Are you kidding me?!» I screamed, and Kurtaz jerked, which Tergiv noticed immediately.
"Let me guess," Tergiv said derisively, "Shana disagrees with my assessment?" I had to think quickly, because I knew a Yeerk would never care about the funeral for the normal human reasons.
«The rest of the family will think it strange if we don't go,» I told Kurtaz. «Look in my memories! You'll see how close we were to my grandmother!»
"There might be suspicions if we do not attend the funeral," Kurtaz relayed. The look on my dad's face I'm sure mirrored Tergiv's thoughts about this.
"My host concurs," Percran said, drawing Tergiv's attention away from me. "It would not make sense for our hosts to not attend the funeral. There would be many questions we could not answer easily."
"Any chance of infesting the entire family?" Tergiv asked tiredly. My mom's eyes glazed over as Percran searched her mind.
"It is a large extended family," Percran said. "Something could be set up, but it would have to be big. I don't know if we could get the proper clearances simply based on the current situation. Without a tactical reason for infesting so many at once…" Tergiv rolled Dad's eyes.
"Fine. We will attend. However, it better not interfere with my host's work too much! We have a deadline!" Tergiv walked out of the room. I figured they were headed to the work desk my dad had set up in my parents' bedroom.
«Something must be going on,» Kurtaz commented. «Tergiv should've been made a Sub-Visser by now.»
«Yeah, I thought that was supposed to happen once my dad was infested?» I replied. Normally, I would not care, but I figured not antagonizing the Yeerks right now was the best, in case Tergiv decided to risk not going to the funeral.
«Visser Three must've changed the criteria to be contingent on Tergiv completing the project,» Kurtaz speculated. «I don't like it. Tergiv is ambitious, and if things aren't going the right way for that promotion… It might be taken out on the rest of us!»
«You mean Tergiv might blame you, or Percran, for the failure?»
«It's not unheard of,» Kurtaz explained. «There are many Yeerks that will do whatever it takes to ascend the ranks. Even if that means betraying fellow Yeerks.»
«How do you Yeerks even function?» I asked.
«The truly ruthless ones do tend to get things done,» Kurtaz said. «Take Visser Three. Failure in front of Visser Three usually involves instant death. That's if you're lucky. Sometimes, he will condemn you to starve. Therefore, everyone strives to do their best, or beyond.»
«Power through fear,» I commented.
«That about sums it up.»
The week leading up to my grandmother's funeral was strange. Tergiv and Percran had to arrange for me to be absent from school for a few days to accommodate the funeral, and travel to and from. That meant a meeting with Iniss as Mr. Chapman. Because it took place at school, even though we were in the privacy of Mr. Chapman's office, they still mainly spoke "in character," just in case someone walked in.
"Shana will need a few days off," Tergiv said, not really sounding sincere, "for her grandmother's funeral."
"I take it you were close to your grandmother?" Iniss asked me, but I knew he was really asking Kurtaz.
"Since she… I was young child," Kurtaz replied. I mentally rolled my eyes. Kurtaz had zero clue how to sound like a teenager.
"Despite the time lost for my work," Tergiv inserted, "it is imperative that we all attend."
"I understand," Iniss said. "Shana will receive excused absences for those days." We all stood up, and headed for the door. As we walked out, Iniss said, "My condolences to you…" I wondered how many times Iniss had said that to students, with them never knowing that it came from an alien that could not care less about their grief.
"I should head to class," Kurtaz said to Tergiv and Percran. To keep up appearances, Percran deigned to give me a hug. It was the first time I had been hugged by either one of my parents since their infestation. Overwhelmed, I felt like crying. The feeling was strong enough it affected Kurtaz, and surprisingly, I felt tears leaking out of my eyes. Tergiv glared at me.
«Tell him you're doing it to stay in character!» I told Kurtaz quickly.
"I'm sorry," Kurtaz muttered, "it's just…" A group of students rounded the corner, headed our way. "Grandma's death makes me cry." Kurtaz tried giving Tergiv a meaningful look. "I don't want my friends to think I hated my grandmother…"
"Of course not," Percran said, patting my shoulder. "Go on to class. We'll see you at home." As I walked away, it struck me that Percran was much better at keeping up the family charade than Tergiv.
«Why do you think that?» Kurtaz asked.
«Tergiv couldn't wait for my parents to be infested, because that meant you all wouldn't have to pretend to be us. That's fine when we're home, but when we're out among other people, Percran knows to act like my mother. Tergiv doesn't want to be bothered.» Kurtaz pondered that a bit.
«That could be dangerous,» he mused. «It could indicate something isn't right...»
«Maybe you should mention it to someone,» I suggested. «Like Iniss!»
«I don't know,» Kurtaz said uncomfortably. «Why do you care?»
«I'm not gonna lie,» I said, «I wouldn't mind seeing Tergiv get knocked down a peg or two.» The chubby little couch potato I envisioned Kurtaz as shifted awkwardly in my mind.
«If only I could be certain no unwanted attention would come back on me if I did say something...» he said meekly, and I was yet again reminded that I was stuck with a spineless coward for a Yeerk.
During lunch, I asked Kurtaz if we could sit alone. He asked me why, and I told him that I did not feel up to listening to whatever conversations he would have with my "friends."
«I know you and Tergiv and Percran are only going to the funeral to keep up appearances, but that doesn't mean that I'm not really grieving the death of my grandmother!» Surprisingly, Kurtaz agreed, and walked with the tray to a table near the back of the cafeteria, where no one was sitting. About halfway through the questionable pizza, Lucas walked over.
"How come you're sitting over here?" he asked.
"It's not a good day," Kurtaz replied. "My grandmother died." Lucas sat down across from me.
"I'm so sorry," he said. A part of me wondered if it was really from Lucas, or if it was just Herthen talking.
«Don't you think a Yeerk could offer condolences?» Kurtaz asked me.
«Not really,» I said harshly. «The only thing you feel when a human dies is regret that you've lost another host! You don't care anything about grief, or how much the person will be missed by their loved ones.»
«We feel grief, when someone we care about is killed before they spawn,» Kurtaz replied. «Can you tell me that you would feel bad if a Yeerk I care about was killed?»
«Maybe if you weren't all trying to enslave humanity,» I said. «Until then, I hope you all get killed.» For some reason, Kurtaz did not have a response for that. He left me alone for the rest of the day after that, but while I expected it to be because he was angry at my answer, I could not feel anger coming from him. It was almost as if I had given him something to think about.
I used the time to actually grieve my grandmother, without feeling Kurtaz watching me. It was nice, even if it did not last very long.