Chapter 12 - Paradox
Iris did her very best to not let a reaction show, but she failed miserably. Really? Greengrass had just made a point of letting her know that the knowledge she had been teaching her would be useless if used against herself, and now she was asking to learn a charm that would be a hard counter to Iris' own brand of magic?
Well... Sort of? But she had basically offered her the decision of whether to teach her or just cast it herself, instead of insisting that she'd teach her. There'd be no point if she just decided to do it herself from the start. But then again, maybe that was the goal? Maybe she had framed it like that to make Iris do something again? Something that she wouldn't otherwise agree to... Argh.
It was way too early to play this round of mental wizards' chess with Greengrass again. Assuming that the Charm was the actual goal, that left the question of why. She supposed it could be used to disperse dark polarized magic, but from what she had read and seen, that was one of the clunkiest and slowest polarized spells. The Auror had taken over ten seconds just to summon the Light magic, then another five to actually cast the spell. So probably not related to dueling then. But that didn't leave many other use cases that she knew about. Its main use was to drive off Lethifolds, or rather, most likely herself, and... Dementors.
Oh. Wait, what?! Iris knew the girl was insane, but something like that? Was she actually planning to break into a prison? And why?
She had no idea if there were other Dementors anywhere, other than guarding Azkaban, at least, as far as the books and occasionally Tracey had explained. No. It had to be something else. Nobody was that insane.
Iris was starting to understand why the girl hadn't trusted anyone with this—and wasn't even trusting Iris really, even with what she had just revealed.
But then again, what they had just been doing had definitely been... a gesture. She wasn't sure if it had actually been in good faith or not, but if anything, Greengrass had definitely proven her commitment to their deal. She could have just left out the advanced, twisted, and probably horribly illegal version of the Obliviation charm, and Iris would have been satisfied.
Not to mention she had provided her with a completely messed up but still very much preferable option to actually practicing the spell, that probably nobody else would or even could have offered.
She already knew she was going to regret this.
"In order to cast the Patronus Charm, you need to summon a significant amount of Light Polarized magic first," Iris said. "The issue is that unlike with Dark polarized magic, there is no summoning spell like Tenebris you can use for this. You have to perform this on raw emotions, which is why it can take a lot longer. The second stage should theoretically be identical to casting with Dark polarized magic. You'd have to draw all the summoned Brightness into your wand, and then perform the spell."
Greengrass tilted her head. "I know that much, thank you. The issue lies with both of these. I have not found any information or knowledge on how to achieve the second stage, no matter the polarization. And for the first stage, while I have managed the Tenebris spell, I have yet to produce any results trying without it."
Iris shrugged. "The second part is mostly a matter of control, so if anyone, you should be able to handle it. I might be able to teach you, given enough time. It took me an entire year with him to just learn that part."
"What about the first?" Greengrass asked.
"To do that you'd need to immerse yourself in emotions, your best and brightest memories. You need to feel it all throughout your body, and instead of using your magic to cast a spell, you just bring that into your wand."
Greengrass stared blankly back at her, but didn't inquire further. Iris shifted a little under her gaze. She wasn't really sure what and how much to explain, she did like explaining things, but this girl mostly seemed to mock her whenever she tried to tell her anything that she already knew.
"I... could show you? I never cast the actual Patronus Charm, but I managed to summon some Light polarized magic in Professor Flitwick's office by accident..."
"You summoned... polarized magic... by accident," Greengrass repeated in a deadpan voice.
"Well, yeah. I do it with Dark polarized magic all the time, but that was the first time I managed with Light as well."
"Have you ever looked up the definition of the word impossible before?"
Iris bit down another retort and tried to focus on the task at hand.
Would that even work in this virtual space? Hang on. Myrtle's room had been just as non-real, had it? And she had cast all kinds of spells in there. It was worth a try.
Iris gripped her wand and closed her eyes. She let her mind calm down and tried to return her thoughts to...
...To what?
Which memory had she used the last time again?
Something... something about...
Oh no.
Iris was almost positive that she had been using a memory of Harry. There were just two problems with that. The first being the obvious. Any memories of him were tinged by that very dark undercurrent, that painful awareness that he was dead, and it was her fault.
The second, more pressing issue, was that she couldn't remember. She couldn't be sure, but Iris had a very bad feeling that the memory she had been using had been one of the ones she had sacrificed to the Pensieve.
Iris stood, her mind desperately running through all the options, until she finally sagged.
"Well, damn," she mumbled.
For once, Greengrass didn't comment. The two girls kept silently staring at each other across the dark road for some time. The black-haired girl's visage finally took a new expression, which almost looked like disappointment. Although, Greengrass was no longer looking at her.
On the one hand, it wasn't really Iris' problem. But then again, after the girl had just gone above and beyond to help her, for her to now just shrug her shoulders and declare her request as impossible just because they were both emotionless wrecks didn't really sit right with her.
"Why exactly do you need the charm, anyway?" Iris asked carefully. "Do you need to actually drive off Dementors, or do you just need to get past them?"
Greengrass' gaze perked back up to meet her eyes with a surprised look that quickly turned thoughtful. "What do you suggest?"
What.
Iris tried to keep her face calm, but miserably failed. Her clumsy attempt to hopefully eliminate that insane possibility had—judging from her reaction—instead actually confirmed it. Fucking Dementors. Literal soul-sucking demons. Just what the hell was she getting herself into?
Iris mulled over her idea for a moment. Well, it was a long shot. No, in fact, it was bloody insane. Well, not that much more insane than most of her plans, to be honest. But then again, it had worked with Lupin. And with the books.
"I suggest we take the opposite approach."
~V~
At this point, Iris should really have just rented a hotel room somewhere in London, instead of commuting the shadow superhighway every single day, sometimes even multiple times. But there was still the fact that she was supposed to live here, and if she just moved out, people—read: Dumbledore—might come asking questions that were better left unanswered.
This time, her goal had been a little different, though. Greengrass had told her that apparently, there was a place in London where they kept a single Dementor locked up, and where they could test their strategy in relative safety. Iris agreed that with something like this, they'd better make sure it worked before they dove headfirst into somewhere as insane as Azkaban—if that was where the girl actually wanted to take this, Iris still wasn't sure.
For some reason, they were supposed to meet in a pub. And at five in the bloody morning, of all things. But not the one with a one-star rating. This one at least had two. Iris pushed open the door and was met with a musty smell that almost made her turn around on the spot. She took another step into the crowded dive faintly illuminated by several strings of lightbulbs draped across the ceiling, which seemed to have more broken bulbs than otherwise. Iris only barely managed to stop herself from stepping into what looked like... no, it didn't just look like it... Someone had vomited all over the ground next to the door, leaving only a small space of floor somewhat safe to step on. Iris held her breath and did the Hopscotch dance to try and get to the other side.
Only after the second hop, she felt a hand settle on her shoulder. Iris jumped, whirled, and almost lost her balance. Behind her stood a woman. Tall, slender, black hair and... yeah, she had no words to describe her face. It was, for all intents and purposes, unremarkable.
"Follow me."
Iris' eyes went wide. Was that Greengrass? What? Oh, was that... that charm that Lupin had used? But then what about...
The woman who was possibly her classmate turned and waltzed straight through the mess on the floor, somehow with none of it sticking to her shoes, the bloody cheater. When Iris had finally made it all the way outside, she spoke up, "Gree—"
"Shhh!" she was cut off by the woman placing a finger to her lips.
Iris opened her mouth to reply, but was cut off by the sound of a ringing telephone once more. She shot the disguised Greengrass an incredulous look, but then decided to humor her and pick up the receiver.
"Sorry about that. I should have vetted the place before suggesting it."
Iris blinked. Okay, this was really confusing. The girl was standing right across from her saying nothing, yet also standing right across from another her in another place talking to her.
"What the hell is that place, anyway?" Iris queried.
"It is close to our destination."
Okay. But Iris still had no idea what that destination actually was.
"Right over here."
The disguised Greengrass turned to look across the road, but all Iris saw was a blank concrete wall with graffiti on it, and an old red telephone box. Was this another one of those silly hidden entrances?
The nondescript face turned into a smirk.
"It is indeed."
"Would you stop reading my mind?" Iris snapped back. "Don't make me give us another migraine."
Greengrass didn't deign that with a reply, instead, she pulled her into a corner of the street, then started to rummage through her bag for a second, before holding out a tiny vial with lime green liquid to her.
"What's that?" mental Iris whispered.
"Aging potion," Definitely-Not-Greengrass replied in a silky voice.
Iris shot her a suspicious look. "Care to repeat that over the phone?"
The nondescript face smirked, and mental Greengrass shrugged. "You're learning. Good. What's in this vial is nothing more and nothing less than pure off-the-shelf Aging Potion."
"And you promise that's the truth?"
The smirk widened. "I do."
Iris supposed that was the best she was going to get. She still had no idea how far agreements and promises would stretch in a mental space, and what the exact penalties were for trying to violate them. Iris didn't want to risk finding out, but she was banking on the fact that Greengrass didn't want to, either.
Reluctantly, she grabbed the vial from the woman's grip and held it up against the light to inspect the colors. She had only done this potion once, but from what she could tell, it did seem like the real deal. Iris sighed, mentally prepared some profanity for her future self to hurl at her past self, and took a swig.
It tasted like strawberry soda, for some reason. Which was a taste that just didn't work, in her humble opinion. What did work, however, was the potion. A strange feeling started to spread through her stomach, then her lower body, and into her arms and legs. It grew warm, tingly, and for the lack of a better term, full. Iris stumbled and almost lost her balance as her legs, her arms, her whole body began growing. The charms on her Hogwarts robes did their best to try and keep up, yet she was feeling increasingly constricted, her undersized clothes making it hard to breathe. The woman across from her—who was now the same height as her—drew a wand and waved it over her frame, and Iris drew in a relieved gasp of air.
She looked down to inspect herself, well, as much as she was able. Her once green trimmed Hogwarts robes had seemingly been transformed into simple robes that were almost entirely black, except for a distinct silvery metallic seal emblazoned on her chest. She couldn't see much beyond that, since... Uhm...
Yeah. Why the hell had she spent all this time shopping for fitting clothes if this was where she was headed? Also, apparently, she owed Tracey a Galleon in the future, heh.
Iris shifted left to right, testing out her new longer appendages and getting used to this new shape. Everything around seemed... smaller? Or maybe it was just everything about her that seemed bigger in comparison. The weirdest part was that odd feeling of both being too big and at the same time feeling like the world had shrunk around her. Doors weren't supposed to be this tiny. Neither were people. And the telephone box almost looked like she'd have trouble even fitting inside.
She wasn't sure she was all that happy with this shape, to be honest. It wasn't uncomfortable, but also, seeing how she couldn't cast Protego, a lot of her fighting style relied on her being able to dodge most attacks with minimum effort. Iris bent her knees, and did a little jump, then raised a surprised eyebrow. She certainly didn't feel older. If anything, she felt mostly the same, even moving around like this, except that she was just bigger than she should be. She shifted back and forth, onto each foot, and did little skips to test her balance. Some things, especially her footwork, seemed off. Both her legs were longer, but also the ground was further. She felt like she should be treading air, but was, in fact, walking on the ground. She guessed the potion was more of an appearance thing than anything else, otherwise people would probably use something like this to just stay young forever.
"Are you quite done?" mental Greengrass said in a chuckle as if she was watching a kitten chase its own tail.
Iris' not so real body—which was still her regular younger self—gave Greengrass a hopefully vexing grin. "You'll thank me if we end up in an ambush."
"Wonderful, go ahead and jinx it," Greengrass replied dryly.
The black-haired woman then proceeded to draw her wand up to Iris' face, and before she could protest, waved it across her to a very strange sensation. It felt a bit like wearing a mask, except, well that she wasn't.
Iris threw a glance into the reflection of herself in the windows of the telephone box and raised an eyebrow. Someone was staring back. Someone and no one. She definitely recognized the hair, the color, the shade, even the style—namely, that there wasn't one. But the face was completely and utterly unremarkable. This was so strange.
"Should we do something about the hair?" she finally asked.
"We can't. It would interfere with the charm. The Obscuro Charm does not change anything about how you look, it just manipulates people's perception. Any other magic trying to achieve something similar in its direct vicinity is bound to do more harm than good. The Aging Potion is already stretching it, but since the intent of that potion is not to alter your recognizable features, there isn't necessarily a conflict here. This is a weaker version than the one the Unspeakables use. It's not immediately obvious that the charm is in use, but in turn, it is a lot more finnicky and not a perfect protection."
She guessed that made sense. Iris looked over her own reflection in the mirror some more. Okay, sure, the hair was pretty distinctive, but the rest of her couldn't be further from the girl everyone—including herself—had gotten to know. And it really was remarkable just how much she was getting thrown off by seeing an unfamiliar face attached to her own hair color. Iris supposed that it wasn't quite as obvious as she had first assumed after all.
Still. She should probably try her best to avoid any unnecessary attention in this disguise.
Iris sighed and spoke up again. "Alright, so what are we doing here? And what exactly is this place?"
Definitely-Not-Greengrass gave her a knowing smile, but didn't elaborate. Instead, she swept across the road towards the telephone box, and pulled it open, gesturing an inviting hand inside. Iris shot her an incredulous look but followed along. The two of them squeezed into the tiny telephone box, and Iris had a feeling this was a lot more awkward for her than the emotional black hole next to her.
Greengrass fumbled with a coin for a moment, until she managed to insert it into the slot of the old telephone, then dialed a number that Iris didn't quite catch.
A female voice began speaking inside the cramped red telephone box, as if someone else was standing right next to them. "Welcome to the Ministry of Magic. Please state your name and the reason for your visit."
Iris' eyebrows went sky-high, but before she could say anything either mentally or otherwise, Greengrass had spoken up, a glint of Indigo making its way into her eyes. "My name is the reason for my visit."
There was a pause, until the phone gave a sharp ding, and tossed the coin she had inserted into the coin return. "Welcome to the Ministry of Magic, please state your name for your visit, and your name for your visit, and your reason for your name for your visit for your name. Welcome, have a nice visit."
Suddenly, the entire telephone box shook and began to sink into the ground.
"What the fuck, Greengrass? Did you maybe forget to mention the teensy detail that we were breaking into the bloody Ministry?!"
The mental brat just shrugged back. "Keep up, Potter."
Iris ground her teeth. She was half-way tempted to just turn around on her heel and... well maybe try and somehow get out of here by herself and leave Greengrass to figure out the rest. But she knew all too well that since their first mental chat, the scales had shifted between them. While she did have some dirt on the girl, Greengrass very much had the upper hand right now. She wasn't going to break their deal, and they both knew it.
Light burst from the outside of the telephone box, and she realized that they had just entered what looked like a massive underground hall, and were now slowly descending from the ceiling. The walls were covered in dark green stone, and windows. At the end of a hall stood a massive, grotesque statue. And the floor was sprinkled with... witches and wizards, apparently. Iris swallowed.
Lower and lower they descended, until the telephone box came to a shuddering halt and the phone gave another ding, as the door swung open. Iris was slapped in the face by a wall of noise.
Despite all the people here, the place seemed pretty empty when compared to its sheer... scale. She guessed at this time of day, most of the ministry employees would still be asleep, which probably was the point. Still, there were already people all over the place, most of them simultaneously looking like they were still half-asleep, and yet vibrating with an urgency to not walk even a fraction too slow. Because apparently, bureaucracy didn't sleep, and waited for no one. The same voice from the telephone box was announcing what sounded like boring gibberish to do with Wizengamot votes over the silent morning bustling of wizards and witches. Over to the side, a vendor was lazily announcing that the waste of ink that called itself a newspaper had a special edition on Harry's death. Iris was half-way tempted to lop a polarized Depulso at the bearded man and try to disappear into the crowd as if nothing happened. Except the crowd was far too sparse, sadly.
"Follow me," mental Greengrass said, as her slightly more real counterpart turned to shove her way down the hall, between people, towards the large gate at the front.
Iris glanced across the hall and noticed that some of the crowd was glancing back. Not in a what are you doing here sort of way, but more in a different way... well... an even creepier way, somehow. At least, none of the looks showed any traces of recognition, despite the fact that her face had been splattered all over the Prophet in a sappy section about the poor hapless orphan sister that Harry had left behind towards the end of yesterday's edition, which Iris hadn't even done the courtesy of looking twice at.
They approached a set of iron counters and gates, where people queued up to file into the hallway behind one by one. When they finally reached the front, they were stopped by a short stuffy wizard with sweaty brown hair manning what looked like a security counter. Iris threw a nervous glance at mental Greengrass, who returned a blank look, but said nothing.
"Good morning. Wands please," the wizard said, while suppressing a yawn.
Definitely-Not-Greengrass actually fucking smiled. "Bobby! Thank Merlin! Listen, I need a solid. You know what you said about your wife last week? I may have kind of a similar... Ugh... screw it. I messed up, okay? I got stuck the whole night figuring out what to do, after what you said, I'm still not sure but, anyway. The problem is Dolores. I completely slept on the Monday report because of that. And you know how she is, right? The moment I stamp in, she'll be there, in front of my desk, giving me that look."
Iris watched wide eyed as Greengrass was talking to that random wizard like an old friend, wrapping him around her finger as if she had popped out her personality cartridge and swapped it with the polar opposite of the psychotic bitch she was. Almost like... Huh.
The black-haired woman leaned incredibly close towards the wizard who had all sorts of emotions running through his face, and was stammering responses sounding just as confused.
"I'm telling you, that woman doesn't sleep. One time, she was there to dock my pay because I had the audacity to deliver the report due at bloody midnight ten Merlin-damned minutes late to the mail drop at her office, like there'd be a bloody difference, right? But no, of course she was there; opened the door up right in my face, just as I tried to submit the envelope. Been saying for years, there's no bloody way that she's fully human, or at least- Ugh. Sorry."
Was she just openly messing with his brain? Or did she just tell him what she knew he needed to hear by reading his mind?
"Anyway, I mean I had one idea but... I mean ugh... no. Forget I said anything. That wouldn't really be fair to you, would it? Sorry." Greengrass slumped, then turned a defeated expression towards Iris.
"I know. Sorry for getting your hopes up. Should have listened to you from the start, but... I just thought, since it's my fault, and I wouldn't want to drag you into it, I'd... yeah. I'm rambling. Sorry," Greengrass sighed, throwing a heart-wrenching expression her way.
Iris scrambled her wits and tried her best to jump in and play along without any idea of the actual context. "Hey, I told you, don't worry about it. What's done is done. No bad feelings, no matter what happens."
Also, whoa. Was that her actual voice?
"Thanks. Really. Don't know what I'd do without you. But yeah, I guess it's time to face the pink dragon. Anyway," she turned back towards the security clerk with a bittersweet smile. "Lovely chat, Bobby. I'll send you a postcard if we actually do get fired."
Greengrass ruffled through her robes and held her wand out to the clerk, with Iris trying her best to mirror her look of resignation.
The overwhelmed clerk stared down at the proffered wand as if it was a signed divorce contract.
"I... uhm... well..." he stammered for a moment, then looked over to both sides, and leaned forwards. "Listen. If you promise not to tell anyone, how about I skip you in, you get the report done, then return to stamp in in an hour?"
"Really? You would?" Greengrass gushed excitedly, and Iris followed suit.
"Won't you get in trouble?" Iris carefully added.
"Eh... I didn't see anything. Come on through now. Let's talk later," he added with a longing smile, as he waved his wand over the small terminal next to him and the metallic gate clicked open.
"You're the best, Bobby!"
"Thanks!" Iris added with a smile, and followed Greengrass past the dazed guard through the gate and into what he had called the Atrium.
Morgana's fucking tits. Iris still had a lot to learn.
Finding herself grudgingly impressed, Iris followed Greengrass through the large towering hall with what looked like office windows lining the walls all the way up. At the end, a row of elevators awaited. They approached one that was currently arriving and stepped to the side to let out the crowd of wizards that had been crammed inside.
"Who's Dolores?" Iris asked curiously.
"Dolores Umbridge. Senior undersecretary of the Minister. Think You-Know-Who, if he had decided to follow a career in bootlicking and paper-pushing," mental Greengrass answered with a shrug.
They stepped into the metallic elevator, and a large wizard in a black robe and an old lady with a trolley stepped in after them.
"Welcome to the Ministry of Magic. Please choose your destination."
"Level six," said the wizard.
"Level nine," added the old lady.
"Level twelve," said Greengrass.
The doors slid shut, and the elevator began to move upwards, at first slowly, but then rapidly building speed.
"What's level twelve?" asked Iris.
"It's the archive," replied Greengrass.
"And what are we doing there?" she clarified.
"Nothing," came the enlightening reply.
"Level six, Department of Magical Transportation," announced the female voice, and the doors slid open, allowing the wizard to step off with a nod to them. Finally, they came shut once again, and this time, the elevator plunged downwards.
"Then why are we going there?" prodded Iris.
"Because we need to have the elevator to ourselves," replied Greengrass.
Okay... now she was really getting curious.
"Level nine, Department of Mysteries," said the voice, allowing the old lady to push her trolley off the elevator, leaving them finally alone.
"Department of Mysteries... that old paper-pusher-lady was an Unspeakable?" Iris asked incredulously.
"They don't just do magical research there. They also have a room that keeps copies of every single Prophecy, and a whole area dedicated to divination of anything from the most boring bureaucratic nonsense all the way to critical indicators of the magical integrity of the entire building."
"So... then what do they actually do?"
Greengrass however, didn't reply. Her eyes had turned into a brightly glowing shade of Indigo, her pupils moving, studying something only she could see.
"Level twelve, Archive," came the final announcement, and the doors slid open once again, this time, to an empty hallway.
"Please choose your destination."
"Level thirteen," Greengrass said in a firm voice.
"Authorization required, please state your name."
Greengrass didn't even hesitate. "My name is either none of your concern, or I am not authorized to enter this level."
Iris blinked.
The elevator did not reply. The seconds stretched some more, until Greengrass sighed.
"Please choose your destination."
"Well, so much for that. It seems we're not taking the quick way, then. Level eleven, please."
The doors slid shut, and the elevator began to move upwards again.
She kept staring for some time as the elevator slowly started to ascend, her eyes still aglow, until she spoke up in a voice that somehow seemed to echo with a strange sort of authority. "Begin elevator inspection."
The low white light in the elevator turned into a bright yellow, and the elevator slammed to a shuddering halt in an instant.
"Inspection Mode engaged. Last inspection was performed seven months ago. Runes are in acceptable condition. No incidents reported since last inspection."
Iris shot Greengrass an incredulous look, wondering just what that had achieved. The woman returned a smirk, and spoke up one final time. "Locomotion Test. Direction: Down."
The cabin shook and began to move in an instant, this time, downwards. Iris stared in awe. Her awe quickly turned to frustration as she realized that while the elevator had started moving instantly at speed, it was only moving at that one speed, and it wasn't getting any faster.
The two girls kept awkwardly staring at each other as the bricks slowly crept past them, moving them lower inch by painful inch.
A blue light burst through the grated doorway as they passed the exit of level twelve, and Iris noticed a group of wizards standing all the way across the hall. They both did their best to act as inconspicuously as possible, as they passed them by inch by inch, hoping they wouldn't look too closely at the definitely not normally operating elevator passing them by towards a level that should be off limits.
Finally, the last gap of the exit vanished and they kept descending deeper and deeper.
"So... where are we actually heading? For real," Iris finally asked, now that they were all alone.
"Level thirteen, the Warehouse."
"The what?" she raised an eyebrow.
"You'll see," Greengrass replied.
Finally, at long last, another exit hatch crept into view, and when the door was about aligned with the exit, Greengrass finally said "Locomotion test, stop."
And the elevator came to a clattering halt. However, the door remained firmly shut.
Greengrass met her eyes and raised a hand. "Would you do the honors?"
Iris thought she'd never ask. Closing her eyes for a second, she drew her wand, produced slightly more than the necessary amount of Control aspect, jabbed, twisted and declared "Alohomora."
A/N: If you'd like to join in on the discussion about the ongoing chapters, most of that is by now happening on the Discord server at this link: discord . gg / UMcjjfegUN