1.20

We're taking advantage of the free Wi-Fi at a café and I'm taking a math test. It's boring. It's slow. Every question is timed. I hate it. And you can't go back. I realized like five questions later I'd done one wrong earlier, but there was no way to go back without redoing all the other questions I'd done since. Worst design ever.

My computer dings that I've finished the test with an 88%. I close my laptop and take off my headphones, putting them on top.

"I hate math," I say.

Dean's flicking through a newspaper. "Did you fail?"

"No," I say.

"What'd you get?"

"88%."

Dean laughs. "You're such a nerd."

"Dean…" Sam says warningly. "That's good, Janie."

I fold my arms and lean back in my chair. "I couldn't go back and redo questions."

"Well then that's really good."

Dean is frowning at both of us. "You guys are freaks." He folds up the newspaper. "And there's not a decent lead in all of Nebraska. What have you got?"

"An 88% in math."

Dean fake laughs. "Ha ha. Not you nerd, the other nerd."

Sam rolls his eyes. "Well, I've been scanning Wyoming, Colorado, South Dakota. Here. A woman in Iowa fell 10,000 feet from an aeroplane and survived."

Dean makes a face. "That sounds more 'That's Incredible!' than 'Twilight Zone'."

"Yeah," says Sam.

"Hey, you know, we could just keep heading east. New York? Upstate? Stop by and see Sarah again, huh? She's a cool chick man. Smoking," Dean whistles.

"How can she be cool and smoking?" I ask. "She's either cool or hot right?"

Dean shrugs. "Two things can be true at once. Come on Sammy, you two seemed pretty friendly. What do you say?"

Sam smiles. "Yeah, I don't know maybe someday. In the meantime, we got a lot of work to do Dean, you know that."

"Yeah, you're right. What else you got?

"Ahh, I man in Colorado, a local man named Daniel Elkins was found mauled in his home."

"Elkins? I know that name."

"Doesn't ring a bell."

"Elkins...Elkins...Elkins." Dean gets Dad's journal out.

"Sounds like the police don't know what to think. At first, they said it was some sort of bear attack and now they've found some signs of robbery."

"Mm-hmm," Dean's flicking through the journal. "There, check it out."

Sam looks. "You think it's the Same Elkins?"

It's a phone number.

"It's a Colorado area code."

We reach Daniel Elkins' house at night. Sam picks the lock and Dean and I have the torches. Sam gets the door open and we go inside. It's a huge mess everywhere.

"Looks like the maid didn't come today," says Dean.

"Hey there's salt over here, right beside the door," says Sam.

" You mean protection against demon salt, or 'whoops I spilled the popcorn 'salt."

"It's clearly a ring. Do you think this guy Elkins was a player?"

I look at the window I'm near. "Salt on the windows too," I say.

"Definitely a player," says Dean.

I look over. Dean's flicking through a journal.

"That looks a hell of a lot like Dad's," says Sam.

"Yep, except this dates back to the '60s."

I go over and look. It does look a lot like Dad's. We go to the next room. There's a hole in the roof.

"Whatever attacked him, it looks like there was more than one," says Sam.

"Looks like he put up a hell of a fight too," says Dean.

"Yeah."

We keep looking around the room. I don't see anything more than a lot of salt and old books. And a hell of a mess. Dean crouches and looks at the floor.

"You got something?" asks Sam.

"I dunno," says Dean. "Some scratches on the floor."

"Death throes maybe?"

"Yeah, maybe."

Dean takes some paper and rubs a pencil over the scratches. "Or maybe a message." Dean holds up the paper to Sam and I. "Look familiar?"

"Three letters, six digits," says Sam. "The location and combination of a post office box. It's a mail drop."

"Just the way Dad does it."

We go the post office box. It just has a letter inside it.

"Well that was anti-climactic," I say.

We get back in the car.

"'JW'" says Sam. "John Winchester?"

"Or Jane," I suggest.

Sam looks at me in the backseat and makes a face.

"Hey, you never know," I say. "I know people."

"This guy?" Sam asks.

"Nooo," I admit.

"Should we open it?" asks Dean.

There's a knock at the window….it's….Dad?

I shuffle over and Dad climbs into the backseat and closes the door. He opens his arm and I shuffle into his side, his arm closing tight around me.

"Dad what are you doing here?" asks Sam. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I'm ok," Dad says. "I read the news about Daniel, I got here as fast as I could. I saw you two at his place."

"Why didn't you come in Dad?"

"You know why. Because I had to make sure you weren't followed...by anyone or anything. Nice job covering your tracks by the way."

"Yeah, well, we learned from the best," says Dean.

"Wait, you came all the way out here for this Elkins guy?" asks Sam.

"Yeah. He was...he was a good man. He taught me a hell of a lot about hunting."

"Well you never mentioned him to us."

"We had a...we had kind of a falling out. I hadn't seen him in years," Dad reaches for the envelope. "I should look at that." Dad takes it, unwrapping his arm from around me and opens it. He reads, "'If you're reading this, I'm already dead'...that son of a bitch."

"What is it?" asks Dean.

"He had it the whole time."

"Dad what?" asks Sam.

"When you searched the place, did you see a gun? An old revolver, an antique, did you see it?"

"Ah, there was an old case but it was empty," says Dean.

"They have it."

"You mean whatever killed Elkins?"

Dad starts to get out of the car. "We gotta pick up the trail." Whatever it is it must be serious.

"Wait," says Sam. "You want us to come with you?"

"If Elkins was telling the truth we gotta find this gun."

"The gun, why?"

"Because it's important that's why."

"Dad, we don't even know what these things are yet."

"They were what Daniel Elkins killed best: Vampires."

"Vampires?" I ask. "Seriously?"

"I thought there was no such thing," says Dean.

"You never even mentioned them Dad," says Sam.

"I thought they were extinct," says Dad. "I thought Elkins and others had wiped them out. I was wrong. Most vampire law is crap. A cross won't repel them, sunlight won't kill them, and neither will a stake to the heart. But the bloodlust, that's true. They need fresh human blood to survive. They were once people, so you won't know it's a vampire until it's too late."

Dad gets out of the car but doesn't close the door. I look, his hand is out, I take it and get out of car.

"Motel on Vine Street," he says to Sam and Dean.

I close the car door. It feels almost dreamlike walking with Dad along a road at night. We used to do this all the time. Sometimes I have dreams where we're just talking and walking at night. But this...this is real.

"They taking good care of you?" Dad asks as we walk along.

I figure his car is a little while away, he wouldn't want to park too close to us. "Mostly," I say. "I now have two pairs of shoes."

Dad laughs a little. "Well I guess that's better than none."

"And Sam is much more serious about my school than Dean. Sometimes he even reads over my work first. It's awful."

"Yeah, well, Sammy was always the academic one."

"There's academic and then there's…whatever Sam is."

We reach Dad's truck and climb in.

"Also, freaky as hell haunted painting a couple of weeks ago. Did you know old dolls were made from the kid's hair?" I shudder at the memory. "So wrong."

"Kid murderer?" Dad asks starting the engine.

"I didn't see her, but judging by the painting she was seriously psychotic."

Dad smiles as we drive down the road. "Dean hasn't been letting you do…everything, has he?"

I groan. "Ugh. No. Since Sammy has come along he hardly lets me do anything. I've been left in motel rooms and watching the car more times in last several months than I think I ever have in my entire life."

"That's good."

"That is not good!" I say. "I can help."

"I'm sure you can, sweetie," says Dad. "But sometimes it's better-"

"Better for who?"

Dad sighs. "We weren't supposed to have this life," Dad says quietly. "Especially you."

I bite my tongue. I don't think I was ever supposed to have a life. If Mary Winchester hadn't been killed, Jane Winchester would not exist. I've brought this fact up with Dad a few times, and none of those conversations ended well for anyone. So, I just say quietly, "I know."

Dad squeezes my shoulder, and we drive in silence.

I wake to Dad shaking me gently.

"Daddy?" I mumble.

"Time to wake up," he says. I rub my eyes and sit up. Dad slaps Sam and Dean's feet in their beds. "Sam, Dean, let's go," he says. "I picked up a police call."

"What happened?" asks Sam.

I get out of bed and stretch.

"A couple called 911, found a body in the street," Dad explains. "Cops got there everyone was missing. It's the vampires."

"How do you know?"

"Just follow me, ok?" says Dad.

I go to the bathroom and get dressed.

When I get out, Dad's gone.

"Come on, Munch," says Dean and we get in our car. "Let's go hunt vampires," he laughs.

We park near the scene and Dad says he'll go talk to the cops. I sit on the hood of the car, Dean leaning next to me, Sam next to him.

"I don't see why we couldn't have gone over with him," says Sam.

I roll my eyes.

"Oh don't tell me it's already starting," says Dean.

"What's starting?"

Dad comes back over.

"What have you got?" asks Dean.

I jump off the hood.

"It was them all right," says Dad. "Looks like they're heading west. We'll have to double back to get around that detour."

"How can you be so sure?" asks Sam.

I look at my shoes.

"Sam..." says Dean.

"I just wanna know we're going in the right direction."

"We are," says Dad.

"How do you know?"

"I found this," says Dad.

I look up. Dad's handed something to Dean. I look over at...it.

"Its a...a vampire fang…" says Dean.

"That's disgusting," I say, leaning away from it.

"Not fangs, teeth," explains Dad. "The second set descends when they attack."

I rub my tongue over my own teeth.

Dad looks at Sam. "Any more questions?"

Sam says nothing.

"All right, let's get out of here," says Dad. "We're losing daylight. Janie."

I go with Dad.

He calls back. "Hey Dean why don't you touch up your car before you get rust? I wouldn't have given you the damn thing if I thought you were going to ruin it."

I turn back and poke my tongue out at Dean.

Dean reads while Sam drives. "Vampires nest in groups of eight to ten. Smaller packs are sent to hunt for food. Victims are taken to the nest where the pack keeps them alive, bleeding them for days or weeks. I wonder if that's what happened to that 911 couple."

"That's probably what Dad's thinking," says Sam. "Course it would be nice if he just told us what he thinks."

"So it is starting."

"What?"

"Sam we been looking for Dad all year. Now we're not with him for more than a couple of hours and there's static already?"

"Hmph. No. Look, I'm happy he's ok, all right? And I'm happy that we're all working together again."

"Well good."

"It's just the way he treats us, like we're children."

"Oh God."

"He barks orders at us Dean, he expects us to follow 'em without question. He keeps us on some crap 'need to know' deal. And come on, the way he treats Jane?"

"What way he treats Jane?"

"He…"

"Go on, say it."

"He treats her better than us. He's always protected her more. Dammit Dean, he's probably hugged her in the 9 years she's been with us more than he's hugged you and me in our entire lives?"

"You want Dad to hug you more, is that was this is?"

"No. I'm just saying, he's always cared more about Jane, he told me so many times that she was never meant to have this life with us. She was supposed to stay with her mom. Dad feels so guilty about Jane being with us, but he doesn't seem to care about us being with him in this…crap."

"He does what he does for a reason."

"What reason."

"Our job! There's no time to argue, there's no margin for error, all right? That's just the way the old man runs things. And god forbid he show a little bit of love to our baby sister who had to watch that haunting in her house and with her mom and aunt and had nowhere else to go."

"Yeah well maybe that worked when we were kids but not anymore, all right. Not after everything you and I have been through Dean. I mean, are you telling me you're cool with just falling into line, letting him run the whole show? Just take Janie off with him whenever he pleases?"

"If that's what it takes."

Dad frowns out the windscreen. He hands me his phone. "Call Dean for me," he says.

I dial and hand him the phone. "Take the next exit, I think I got it's trail."

Dad closes the phone and hands it back to me.

"What have you got, night vision eyes?" I ask, smiling.

"I've been looking at maps, I have a hunch."

An engine roars. I turn in my seat. It's the Impala. It's Sam. He overtakes us and slams on the brakes. Dad brakes suddenly, tires squeaking.

My seatbelt pulls at my chest.

The truck stops and Dad gets out. "What the hell was that?" he yells.

I take off my seatbelt and climb out of the truck. Dad and Sam are face to face. Oh god.

"...About what?" Dad's yelling.

"About everything. Where we going Dad? What's the big deal about this job?"

"Sammy come on, we can Q and A after we kill all the vampires," says Dean, trying to stay calm.

I stand stupidly on the road, too timid to get too close, but I also don't just want to sit in the car. That would feel even more stupid.

"Your brother's right, we don't have time for this," says Dad.

"Last time we saw you, you said it was too dangerous for us to be together," says Sam, he's really angry. "Now out of the blue you need our help. Obviously something big is going down and we wanna know what!"

"Get back in the car."

"No."

"I said get back in the damn car."

"Yeah. And I said no."

"Ok you made your point tough guy," says Dean. "Look we're all tired, we can talk about this later. Sammy I mean it, come on."

Dean grabs Sam and pushes him back towards their car. Sam is staring at Dad.

"This is why I left in the first place," says Sam quietly.

I take a breath.

"What did you say?" says Dad.

"You heard me."

"Yeah. You left. Your brother, sister, and me, we needed you. You walked away."

"Sam..." Dean warns. He looks back at me, looking a little sad. I shrug.

"You walked away!" Dad yells.

"Stop it, both of you," says Dean.

"You're the one who said don't come back Dad, you closed that door not me. You were just pissed off that you couldn't control me anymore!"

Dean pushes them apart. "Listen, stop it, stop it. Stop it! That's enough!"

They stop shouting.

"That means you too," Dean says to Dad.

Sam gets back in their car. Dad climbs into the truck. Dean and I look at each other across the road.

"Terrific," Dean says.

I breathe out. "Yup."

We find the…lair? Hole? But really it's a barn. We hide in the trees. Some vampires are outside, and then go into the barn.

"Son of a bitch," says Dean. "So they're really not afraid of the sun?"

"Direct sunlight hurts them like a nasty sunburn," says Dad. "The only way to kill 'em is by beheading. And yeah, they sleep during the day, doesn't mean they won't wake up."

"I guess walking right in's not our best option."

"Actually. That's the plan."

"Oh well that sounds like nothing can go wrong with that," I say.

We head back to the cars and sort through weapons.

"Dad I've got an extra machete if you need one," says Dean.

"I think I'm ok. Thanks," says Dad.

"Wow," says Dean looking at Dad's fancy machete.

"So, you guys really wanna know about this colt?" asks Dad.

"Yes sir," says Sam.

"It's just a story, legend really. Well, I thought it was. Never really believed it until I read Daniel's letter...Back in 1835, when Halley's comet was overhead, the Same night those men died at the Alamo. They say Samuel Colt made a gun. A special gun. He made it for a hunter, a man like us only on horseback. Story goes he made thirteen bullets, and this hunter used the gun half a dozen times before he disappeared, the gun along with him. And somehow Daniel got his hands on it. They say...they say this gun can kill anything."

"Kill anything like, supernatural anything?" asks Dean.

"Like the demon," says Sam.

"Yeah, like the demon. Ever since I picked up its trail, I've been looking for a way to destroy that thing. Find the gun, we may have it."

"Sweet," says Dean.

"Janie, you're staying here," says Dad.

I glare at him. "You're kidding right?"

"I am not."

"I'm not going to be on car duty. Again."

"But you're a pro, Munch," says Dean with a grin.

I hit him in the arm.

"You don't mess with vampires," says Dad. He quickly kisses me on the head before they all head back down the hill.

"You all suck," I say as they walk away.

"Not as much as vampires!" Dean calls back.

They're not gone for that long before I hear running. Dean calls for Dad. Then they appear, Dad following after.

"They won't follow," says Dad. "Not til tonight. Once a vampire has your scent, it's for life."

"Well what the hell do we do now?" asks Dean.

"You gotta find the nearest funeral home, that's what."

"Oh this is not going to be good, is it?" I say.

Dean goes to the funeral home. Sam points out that I have an online class. Dad says it super important I take it. I curl up on my bed, headphones on. And be bored to death. Sam paces and it's distracting but my class ends. I'm about to close my laptop but I overhear Dad say, "It was a college fund. And every month I'd put in another $100 until...anyway my point is Sam that, this is never the life that I wanted for you."

I pretend to still be in class. Staring at my laptop screen.

"Then why'd you get so mad when I left?" asks Sam.

"You gotta understand something. After your mother passed all, I saw was evil, everywhere. And all I cared about was keeping you boys alive. I wanted you...prepared. Ready. Except somewhere along the line, I ...uh...I stopped being your father and I... I became your drill sergeant. I don't think I even realized it, but when Janie's mother called…" Dad trails off. "When all that crap went down, and we had Janie with us, that's when I realized I'd gone too far. She was the same age Dean was when your mother died. And I saw how little she was, how trusting she was. I didn't want to be another mess of a father to another kid."

"You never even told us about her until that night, Dad."

"You have to understand, I thought she'd be better without me. Away from everything. I felt like I'd failed all over again when she had nowhere else to go. I tried to be different, but…I don't think it's ever been enough. The damage was already done."

"You didn't damage us," says Sam.

"I was still so scared, Jane's mother and aunt…it wasn't even the demon that got to them. She needed to be prepared. I tried to protect her, but I still wanted her to be able to fend for herself. And then, when you said that you wanted to go away to school, all I could think about, my only thought was, that you were gonna be alone. Vulnerable. Sammy it just...it never occurred to me what you wanted. I just couldn't accept the fact that you and me were just different. And…"

Sam stifles a laugh.

"What?"

"We're not different. Not anymore. With what happened to Mom and Jess...well we probably have a lot more in common than just about anyone."

"I guess you're right son."

"Hey Dad? Whatever happened to that college fund?"

"I spent it on ammo."

They start to laugh, and I pretend my class just ended.

"What did I miss?" I ask, closing my laptop and getting up.

Sam shakes his head, still laughing.

"O-kay," I say slowly pretending to be confused.

Dad holds out his arm and I go over and he hugs my waist.

"You guys been drinking?" I ask, smiling.

"Not yet," says Dad.

Dean comes in, "Man, some heavy security to protect a bunch of dead guys."

"Get it?" asks Dad, letting go of me and getting up.

Dean pulls out a paper bag from his pocket, and a bottle out of that. He hands it to Dad.

"You know what to do."

I'm tasked with starting a campfire. Sam helps me gather wood and then patrols, just in case, he says, but I think he actually just doesn't want to talk to me. I get the fire burning well and Dad and Dean come over from the cars…and a vampire somewhere in the trunk. I try not to think about it, but double check my knife is at my hip.

"Toss this on the fire," Dad says, throwing Dean a bag. "Saffron, skunk's cabbage and trillium. It'll block our scent and hers, until we're ready."

Dean sniffs the bag, coughs. "Stuff stinks!"

"That's the idea. Dust your clothes with the ashes and you stand a chance of not being detected."

"You sure they'll come after her?" Sam asks.

"Yeah. Vampires mate for life. She means more to the leader than the gun. But the blood sickness is going to wear off soon, so you don't have a lot of time."

"A half hour ought to do it."

"And then I want you out of the area as fast as you can."

"But..." Sam starts.

"Dad you can't take care of them all," says Dean.

"I'll have her," says Dad. "And the colt."

"But after," says Sam. "We're gonna meet up right? Use the gun together. Right?"

I look at Dad. He doesn't say anything.

"You're leaving again aren't you?" asks Sam. "You still wanna go after the demon alone. You know, I don't get you. You can't treat us like this."

"Like what?"

"Like children."

"You are my children," says Dad. "Hell, Janie's only 13! I'm trying to keep you all safe."

Dean glances at me then back to Dad. "Dad, all due respect but, that's a bunch of crap."

I stare at Dean.

"Excuse me?" says Dad.

"You know what Sammy, Janie and I have been hunting. Hell, you sent us on a few hunting trips yourself. You can't be that worried about keeping us safe."

"It's not the Same thing Dean."

"Then what is it? Why do you want us out of the big fight?"

"This demon? It's a bad son of a bitch. I can't make the same moves if I'm worried about keeping you alive."

"You mean you can't be as reckless."

"Look...I don't expect to make it out of this fight in one piece. Your mother's death, it almost killed me. I can't watch my children die too, I won't."

I dig my shoes into the dirt.

"What happens if you die?" asks Dean. "Dad what happens if you die and we could of done something about it. You know I been thinking. I ...maybe Sammy's right about this one. We should do this together."

Sam nods. I quietly look between all of them. I have a sneaky suspicion I'm not included in this 'together'.

"We're stronger as a family Dad. We just are. You know it."

Hey, maybe I am included.

"We're running out of time. You do your job, and you get out of the area. That's an order."

I sigh.

They all get ready to go do things. I get ready to be on campfire duty. Super fun. I put the lovely smelling herbs on my clothes and poke a stick at the fire.

"Another 45 minutes and put it out," Dad says.

"Okay," I say without looking at him.

"Then head back to the motel, stay off the roads."

"Okay."

"Jane…"

I poke at the fire some more.

"Jane."

"What?" I say, annoyed, and look at up Dad.

He looks different somehow. Sad and concerned, worried, but he's gently smiling. I frown at him.

"What?" I ask again.

"Thank you," he says.

He gently kisses the top of my head and leaves. I watch him go, and then see Sam watching me from the car. When he sees me looking, he drops his eyes.

Dean comes over and hands me a shotgun.

"This isn't going to help," I say looking at it.

"Just take it, makes me feel better."

I take the gun. "Happy?"

"Ecstatic."

I eye Dean. "You're not going to follow his order, are you?"

Dean makes a face. "What makes you say that?"

I roll my eyes. "I'm not an idiot."

"Could've fooled me."

I lift the shotgun. "I'm armed."

Dean raises his hands in mock surrender. "Just make sure you do what Dad says."

"Uh huh."

"Do as I say, not as I do."

"Like always," I say and smile.

Dean taps me on the shoulder and heads off to the car.

"Don't get bitten," I call.

Dean waves a hand. Sam waves at me and they get in the car and leave.

My night is mostly uneventful. I wait the 45 minutes. I extinguish the fire. Clean up so it looks like the area hasn't been used in months, rather than minutes. Grab everything, and start the long, boring walk back to the motel. I walk until I hear cars, and then orientate myself to the town, making sure if I see headlights, I head further away. It's not until I'm back in town that I sneak through someone's yard and back onto the streets until I reach the motel.

I sit down on the armchair, and breathe. I feel completely useless. These last few months I've never felt more useless. I try to distract myself but I can't. I try to watch TV but I don't know when the infomercials came on, but I don't realize for way too long and I just turn it off.

I must fall asleep at some point because next thing I know I'm staring at Dean's face. I flinch.

"Jesus," I mumble.

"Mornin' sunshine," he says, grinning.

I rub my eyes. "How'd it go?" I ask.

Sam and Dean shrug. "It went."

"Ooh," I say standing up. "You guys are in trouble," I say.

"No we're not," Sam says. He throws me a shirt from his bed.

I catch it and look at it. I say nothing. It's mine. I go and start packing.

Dad comes in. "So boys," he says.

Oh they are so in trouble.

"Yes sir," says Sam.

"You ignored a direct order back there."

"Yes sir."

"Yeah, but we saved your ass," says Dean.

"You're right."

"He is?" I ask.

"I am?" says Dean.

"It scares the hell out of me. You three are all I've got. But I guess we are stronger as a family. So…let's go after this damn thing. Together."

Now that 'together' sounded like it actually included me. I smile at Dad.

"Yes sir," says Sam and Dean.