Opinions, Asked For & Given.
Once they arrived at the hospital, it took some time for Adam and Lawrence to get some time alone with Joan; they had to make conversation with his other family members first. Eventually though they were alone with her, but after a couple of minutes, Joan asked Adam if he could fetch her a fresh jug of water from the nurses' station. He nodded, but she knew full well as he left that he would be some time in coming back, not only because the nurses on duty would be busy, but because they were all fans of his acting and they would doubtless want to ask for a photo with him even in these trying times for him…
Alone with Lawrence, she turned to him and asked, "Would you do something for me? Could you take a look at my records, which are all on that clipboard over there and give me an honest second opinion? I know that this is not your speciality, but you should be able to tell me honestly what is going on…"
He nodded, then glanced through all the data in the case file; it was simple enough for him to interpret, the doctor that had written it all having small writing but a neat and careful hand as well. "Okay, so you would not wish for me to sugar coat things, but to give you an honest prognosis, so I will do exactly that. Your heart is failing and given that you also have signs of cancer, you are not considered suitable for a transplant operation. Given the state of your heart, in combination with the possible cancer, it is expected that you will pass away at some point with the next twelve months. I am sorry that I cannot give you a brighter outlook than that, but it is all here in the notes…"
Joan nodded, then said quietly, "It is perfectly okay, I expected you to say as much, and I knew that you could be trusted to be honest and truthful about it. Now, I need you to promise me that you will not breed a word of that diagnosis to Adam. What I need you to do is reassure him and get him back to New York as soon as you can, because I will not have him sacrificing his career to sit here and wait for me to die; that is something that is not going to happen if I have anything to do with it…"
Lawrence nodded in agreement, but then went on, "He will know in his head that there is no reason for him to stay, but his heart will be a different matter entirely. He loves you very much and that fact will reflect on all of the decisions he has to make; logic does not always win out in circumstances like these."
"True, but I am certain that you will do all that you can to convince him… The play that he is about to appear in on Broadway will, in my humble opinion, be one of the defining moments of his career and put his name up there in lights amongst some of the greatest names in acting. I will not be able to die happily if I think that I have managed to ruin that for him. It is at moments like this that I wish that it was possible to just tell the doctor or some other medical professional that we wish to pass away now and have them administer the necessary tablets or injection to bring us to a swift and hopefully painless death."
Lawrence did not respond, so Joan went on, "I do not expect you to voice an opinion on such matters, but I personally realised the hypocrisy of those that state that only God can decide when we die and oppose euthanasia some years ago. The people that say such thing so consistently are only too happy that medical science allows for the performing of transplant surgery and resuscitation, both of which allow us to avoid death, but surely such things are tantamount to removing the decision on our time of death from God's hands too? Anyway, I would like you to tell Adam that I was talking about these matters, and perhaps suggest that if he does not return to New York and carry on with his life forthwith, then I may take steps to expedite my passing…"
Lawrence felt rather startled at her words, but could only reply, "I will tell him what you have said, but I cannot force him to get on a plane if he is determined not to do so…"
It would be a little while later in a quiet corner that Lawrence was able to tell Adam what Joan had said, and his actor husband nodded in understanding. "The truth is that she was using emotional blackmail and worrying herself for no reason; now that it has been confirmed that she is not going to pass away any time soon, we will be heading home. I will say all of my goodbyes, just in case, but I have spoken to someone that I know here who is going to be able to give me a heads up if her condition starts to worsen, and I can get back in time hopefully…"
Lawrence nodded, not knowing that Adam had actually spoken to Kurt, who had in turn spoken to Finn's English wife Emily. She had spoken to one of her former colleagues in the English section; she confirmed that Joan's name was not on any of the lists for the next six months at least. "The truth is that I am committed to appearing in my new show on Broadway for at least six months, but I have been informed that if it is a commercial success, then they wish to organise a West End transfer. I will inform them that I am happy to do that show as well, and then I can be here in the United Kingdom when the time does come…"
"And you would do that with my blessing. I always knew that one day your acting work would bring you to London for a period and whilst I would miss you, I would not stand in your way. Our marriage is strong and can survive the distance…"
In less than a week after his mother's call, Adam was back in rehearsals and Lawrence was on the wards at the hospital. He took the time one afternoon, however, to sit down with Ollie whilst they were both on a break and relay what Joan had said to him, seeking another doctor's opinion on the subject. After a few moments of silence, Ollie responded, "There is much talk of what constitutes a 'good' death, and how everyone is entitled to one. I do believe, however, that such things should never come at the expense of the rule of law. I know from Hayden that there are some doctors within the hospice movement that would like the ability to give a consenting patient the option of an assisted death; to give them a cocktail of pills to swallow that will end their suffering, but he does not agree with such things and frankly, neither do I. The relief of pain and the ending of suffering is important, but doctors need to remember that we have been trained to heal, not to act as God. My father is the prime example of one that has constantly overstepped the mark; if there was to be a full investigation into his deeds at the hospital, then I suspect that there would be some cases in which the death of a patient was hastened by him."
Lawrence nodded, then said, "I do not believe in it either, but according to Adam, there have been rumours that such things have taken place in the United Kingdom, at least amongst the most elevated of circles, for many years; monarchs whose passing might have been hastened by a conveniently placed pillow under the watchful eye of the royal physician. We are not talking about times long gone either; it is rumoured to have happened in the last century on at least two occasions. Adam told me that the current King's maternal great-grandmother, not wishing to allow her ill health to overshadow her granddaughter's Coronation Day, made mention that she wanted someone to provide her with 'the pillow' – and she passed away suddenly ten weeks before the event, telling everyone her death should not lead to it being postponed…"
"The press then would not have questioned such things, but those days of unwavering acceptance of everything that is put out by press secretaries at the Palace is past. If that were to happen now, the truth would be ferreted out and the people involved would face demands that they be put on trial for regicide…" Ollie replied.
As for Adam, he found a confidant of his own in the unlikely form of Santana; her own Abuela had passed away just six months before and she had been devastated; now she could emphasise with what the Englishman was going through all too well. In her case at least there had been no warning, her grandmother passing away peacefully in her sleep. She listened as Adam told her everything that was going on over coffee in her office as NYADA one afternoon, and then she gave him her personal stance on the subject.
"If she had been suffering and in constant pain, and my Abuela had asked me to help her pass away, then I would have done all in my power to assist her in that wish, even if it meant that I ended up breaking the law. People do not allow their pets to suffer unduly; they have them put down without a second thought, perhaps because they believe that when all is said and done, they are just dumb animals. However, when it comes to our fellow human beings, we feel that they just have to endure the pain and suffer. I would like to think that if I found myself in such a situation and one of my loved ones was suffering and begged me to help, then I would do whatever was in their best interests, whether it was legal or not."
"I will be honest with you; I could not do it, not even if she begged me to help her. I would not want to watch her suffer, but I also would not want to involve myself in her demise; in fact, I would not wish to be involved in the death of anyone. People talk about circumstances and how they might change their point of view if the worst happened, but I can't see myself feeling that." Santana had nodded, respecting his stance just as he respected hers.
In any case, Adam did not have much time to think about such matters, as he was soon caught up in the busy whirl of rehearsals, costume fittings and run throughs. It was true that he called his grandmother more often than he had done before she had taken ill, but his main priority for the moment was getting everything perfect for an opening night that was approaching all too swiftly for his liking…
That opening night would turn out to be a huge success, all of the major critics giving Adam five-star reviews for his performance alongside his co-stars. He had hoped that his family might have been in the audience on that special night, but in the end only his mother and sister were present in the theater to see his triumph. Modern technology, however, helped him out and back in his home village in Surrey, albeit in the early hours of the morning, his father and Joan watched every moment of the show on a private livestream. That in itself was a compromise, as his grandmother had intended to defy the instructions of her doctors and fly to New York to see him perform; Adam had simply told her that if she did travel, he would let his understudy replace him that night. He also added that his performance would be greatly affected if she came and suffered a medical emergency either on the flight or after arriving. He did not go so far as to say that being in mourning for her would be even worse…
Within a week of the opening, it was confirmed that Adam would be on Broadway for six months before heading to the West End to star in the show there in 2036. He had spoken to Lawrence first naturally, but the producer and director had both been in favour of taking the show to London much sooner than might have been anticipated. They knew why he wanted to be in England then and they were happy to give him the chance to be present when his grandmother passed away, assuming the doctors were accurate in their prediction. What came as a surprise to Adam was that they decided that his current understudy should go with him, thus meaning that they would require a new male lead…
When that new male lead happened to be Sam Evans, the media reacted with great approval, saying that he had all of the acting skills for the role and that the strong link between himself and Adam from their sitcom roles made it all the sweeter. It marked a return to the stage for Sam, who had been on a self-imposed hiatus; he had taken on more parent duties whilst Rachel had had returned to Broadway after receiving rave reviews for her latest role Off-Broadway under the direction of Jesse St James. The subsequent transfer to the Great White Way had been a roaring success too, and she would still be on stage when Sam took up the role originated by Adam. She had been fully supportive of Sam taking over, going so far as to say they would hire a temporary au-pair to assist with the childcare.
In the end, that was not immediately necessary, as Stacey, Sam's sister, offered to help out. She had married a wealthy young stockbroker, which meant that she was able to stay at home and look after her own little boy. She lived close to Rachel and Sam, so having her niece after school would be no issue at all. Her offer gave the couple more time to find the perfect person to take care of Barbra on a permanent basis…
It was at about that time that Marley announced her second pregnancy to her closest friends, news that came just two days after Madison had announced formally that she and Matthew were expecting their first child. Ryder found himself in the company of Matthew a couple of nights later at a party thrown by Mason and Jane; the latter was given a lot of advice about first-time fatherhood by both the former and their host. "It is a daunting prospect," Ryder told him, "But the moment that you welcome that child into the world, all of the necessary skills just seem to kick in. Trust me, even the most horrendous of diapers is not a chore when it is your own flesh and blood…"
As Mason nodded in agreement, Matthew replied, "I guess that much is true, as I saw the way that Hillary became so maternal the moment that she became a mom. Barnaby is such a doting uncle too; however, even the mention of the word diaper has him running for the door. He states that even the most devoted uncle should not have to deal with such things, as it is above and beyond… Would he feel differently if it was his own child? Possibly, but that is never going to happen, as both Clyde and Audra are on his side about the no kids rule. I guess that makes sense in their situation; it is hard enough for some adults to comprehend their whole thruple thing, but it would be terrible indeed for their child; they would be subjected to so much talk and funny looks at school…"
Ryder and Mason nodded, but then the host of the party was summoned by his wife, which left Ryder and Matthew alone. The former decided then to fill Matthew in on the more intimate moments of the birthing process, something that he could not have done when the latter's brother-in-law was right at their side. "Watching Marley give birth was a little scary and honestly, what she went through was terrible to see… I will freely confess that there was a big part of me that wished it was a hundred years ago, and we were still in the time when fathers were excluded from the delivery room. However, the moment that you hear your child cry for the first time as they emerge into the world, you are filled with so much joy and euphoria. If I can give you only one bit of advice, it is that you must be present for the birth…"
As Christmas approached in 2035, the Warblers found themselves front and center of the show choir competition once more, with much of the focus in the blogs and media on them centring on how they were performing under the leadership of Wes Sterling-Duval. There had been much talk from day one of who his parents were and that had been their focus at first; it had then moved on to his first name and a look at the legacy of the man that he had been named after. It was something that the whole Sterling-Duval family had expected, given that Wes Montgomery had been the last official Head Warbler in the time Nick and Jeff had attended Dalton…
That had all changed after the first of the heats in which Wes was in charge as current Head Warbler, with all the focus moving to the subtle changes that people could see in their style and organisation since the previous year. The solos were no longer given out to a small group of people every time, those coveted moments distributed much more equally amongst all of the members. There was also much attention given to the fact that one person in particular was no longer featured as much, and that was Tim Hart; this came as a surprise to some of the blogs, as he had been a strong performer in the last two years and was well liked in the show choir community…
The more scurrilous commentators stated that he had been barred from featured solos as his boyfriend did his utmost to ensure that there were no charges of nepotism laid against him; this was not the case, however. Tim had taken the decision himself that he would not put himself forward for any solos at the start of the year, agreeing with Wes that they needed to showcase all of the musical talent that they had available to them. In secret, everyone at Dalton knew that Tim's voice was being kept back for the latter stages of the competition, when they would need his great range and pitch to get them through to the final and hopefully another win. Wes was also standing back from solos, but such was the focus of the rumour mill on the fact that Tim had none that they had failed to notice his absence as of yet…
Behind all of that, however, things were not quite perfect in the life of Wes Sterling-Duval. He and Tim had both decided to take their relationship slowly but had moved well beyond first base by the time that their senior year came at Dalton, and all was well there; there was an underlying tension in his relationship with his dads, most especially with his father, Nick. The time had arrived for college applications to be made, and Wes had searched extensively online for those schools that could best train him for the career in the world of baking that he desied. He was thus less than impressed at Thanksgiving when his father had presented him with a pile of information from more traditional colleges about courses that he could take in the sphere of the humanities, finance and business…
The day itself had been the usual celebration; Grace, Cooper, Pam and the twins had joined them for the day in the West Village, and there had also been room at the table for Nils, as much a member of Grace and Cooper's family as their own children, and all the usual waifs and strays that could not make it home themselves for the holiday. However, once all of the guests had departed, Wes found himself alone in the kitchen with his father; from the way that his father opened the conversation, it was immediately apparent to his son that this had not happened by chance…
"I think that we need to have a frank and serious conversation about your future," Nick began, his tone stern.
Wes nodded and replied, "I agree dad, but it has to be a fair discussion in which both of us are allowed to express an opinion and in which we do not disregard what the other party wants off hand."
"I can agree to that as long as you are willing to do the same, because I can still recall what it is like to be a senior in high school, constantly railing against the opinions of my parents. I know that you have your heart set on a future career as a baker, and I have to be honest and admit that you do have a great talent there, with far more skill and passion at baking than I had at your age, or indeed even now. However, that does not mean that you should do something that limits your future prospects to working in that one area. The fact is that not everyone in the world gets to live out their dreams, and although I and your papa will do everything in our power to ensure that you achieve your goal, we cannot prevent things going wrong and your dream turning into a nightmare. Not every qualifies baker is guaranteed success in a market that is so competitive and honestly, you do need to face that fact head on. The last thing I would want is for you not to be able to do what your heart desires, or worse, have you ending up working under someone that will mistreat you and take all of the credit you deserve…"
"I don't know if I like the fact that you seem to think I am destined to fail," replied Wes in a petulant tone. "I know that the things that I bake are some of the best out there; when I bake cakes and cookies at Dalton, the boys queue up to eat them…"
"There is no question of me ever thinking that you are certain to fail, but the example you have just given as to why you won't be is not a good one. You do not expect the other boys to pay for what you have baked for a start, plus I suspect that you don't have any competition from another student baker either. If there was another boy baking as well, then the queue might not be nearly as long. That is the reality of the world outside of Dalton Academy; there is nobody out there with a unique product for long these days. There will always be a competitor that will emerge and produce the same goods, either better or cheaper; someone that has a better location than you do that can attract more people. You know that what I am saying is the truth, you just have to be honest and admit it."
Reluctantly, Wes nodded, reminded of a day when he had baked his usual cupcakes but had found no takers, as another student had been celebrating their birthday and was sharing out the rich chocolate gateau, smothered in cream and caramel, that he had been sent by his family to mark the day. In comparison, his perfect but relatively plain vanilla cupcakes were nothing. Tim had stayed loyal to him and not accepted any gateau, but he had been the only one… "Okay, dad, that is true, but I will rise to those challenges. I can change what I do to compete and cut my costs…"
"Of course you can, as long as you have the funding available to bankroll such a step. Your papa and I will always support you, but there is only so much that we can do. You will also benefit from being able to understand just how to run such a business and know all of the pitfalls beforehand. Such training would also give you another career to fall back on in the worst-case scenario. That is the only reason that I want you to go to college first and study something other than baking first. Qualifications are vitally important, and I want you to have the best possible in a broad spectrum of subjects rather than a handful in one field. A good business course will set you up for the career of your dreams; with a good degree behind you as well as your baking qualifications, you will find it easier to secure premises, suppliers and external funding. You will need backers other than me and your papa, and they will be most impressed with a sound business plan which shows you have done research and know exactly what you are talking about. You have a trust fund, something that we both thought was important for your future, but it is not a limitless thing. I'm afraid that as we grow older, we all discover that dreams are important, but practicalities are even more so…"
Before his son could respond, Nick went on. "I would also like to say this; I was looking at the internet history last night, and I see that a lot of your searches have been looking into the Institute of Culinary Education. I checked it out myself and have to admit that I applaud your choice there, as it is the best school in the United States and here in Manhattan. However, what if Tim decides that the college course that he wishes to pursue is not one that is offered by NYU or Columbia? What if the course of his dreams, his best option, is a course at Yale, Harvard or Princeton? Would you really be happy to spend your college years miles apart, only seeing each other at holiday time?"
He paused, and saw the look on his son's face, as if he was only contemplating that possibility for the first time at that moment. "If you take another degree course first before heading to a school like the Institute, then you will be able to spend your college years with your soulmate; then you can both come back to Manhattan, and you can head off to ICE. I did some research into the average age of the students there and most are in their mid-twenties; the majority have also done another degree course first. I know how you must be feeling right now; you think that I am standing in your way, as all teenagers think their parents are. However, that is just part of my duties as a responsible parent; I have to point out the pitfalls. Your duty as a teenager is to find that annoying…"
Wes had to smile at that; he also had to admit that he was annoyed, but mainly because his father had a point. He had also not considered until that moment that Tim would not also be at college in New York; had not even asked him what his plans were. He had failed in his duty as a loving boyfriend there and he needed to make amends. He wanted the best for Tim, and he had focused solely on his own needs so far. Even more annoyingly, his dad had made him realise that even the prospect of distance from Tim was something he would struggle with. Having been inseparable for the last three years, the idea of not seeing him every day was a horrible one….
He did not get the chance to respond to his father there and then, as his Papa and Tim returned to the room and there were the usual family games to enjoy. That evening was not a late one and when the two younger men went up to bed, Wes made the point of heading to Tim's room for a chat. He told him all that his dad had said to him that day, leaving nothing out, then mentioned the subject of where Tim might go to college. His boyfriend smiled, then said, "I am sure that I can find a good course here in New York if it will let us stay together…"
"Much as I love you for saying that I wouldn't be a good partner if I disregarded what you wanted and made it all about me. I know that you have been looking at colleges online too, so where are the best choices for you?"
Tim smiled at him once again, then said, "I have spoken to the advisors at school and they all agreed that my best course would be the one offered by Princeton, then it would be Yale or Harvard. There is a course at Columbia, but it is not as well rated as the main professor that taught it retired, and his former assistant is now at Princeton as the professor in charge."
Wes nodded, knowing one thing right away; there was not a culinary school anywhere near Princeton, let alone one with the prestige that he would like. "My dad thinks that I should study something else before I go to a bakery school…"
"Well, maybe he does have a good point," said Tim quietly, a little worried as to just how Wes would react to his candour. "It wouldn't do any harm, and well, it would mean that we could hopefully stay together in a dorm or a little studio apartment. However, in the end this is your choice, and I will support you in whatever you choose to do."
West sighed, then said, "It wouldn't hurt I suppose to look into business related courses at those three schools, but I still want to go and have a look around ICE as well, as that is my ultimate aim. I can speak to the staff there and see if they agree with my dad."
Tim nodded, quite sure that they would all concur with Nick, but he was wise enough not to express that opinion just at that moment, as he could see that Wes was disappointed that his future plans might not be realised for now.
In their bedroom nearby, Jeff was silent as Nick told him exactly what he had said to their son that evening. He could see the logic in what his husband was saying, but it hurt him to think that their son might not be able to realise his dreams as quickly as he wanted to. "I am sure that what you are saying is right Nicky, but you have to promise me that you will let him go to culinary school after college if that is what he still wants to do. Far too many kids have their dreams taken away from them these days by well-intentioned parents who placed practical things above the happiness of their child and that just leads to resentment."
"I promise you here and now that I will, if that is what he still wants," replied Nick.
"You'd better be sincere about that, because if it comes down to it then I will back Wes over you. He is as enthusiastic about baking as I am about art, and you would never have tried to prevent me from realising my dreams."
"As I said, you have my word, my love," Nick responded, while secretly hoping that by the time such a decision needed to be made, Wes would have decided that the world of baking was no longer quite so attractive. He wondered if he could win Tim over to his way of thinking and use his son's soulmate as another influence on his point of view, but then he heard a voice in his head that was very disapproving of that idea. No, he would just have to hope that things developed as he hoped and that what he thought of as common sense would prevail. He knew that he had to be careful though, as if he went in too hard then he could lose his son and perhaps even his husband over it. He knew that there had to be a place in life for dreams, but there also had to be practicality first. If Wes failed, then he and Jeff would have to help pick up the pieces and try to stop it affecting his relationship with Tim, especially if he were having great success in his future career. Sometimes life was much simpler if there were no hopes fulfilled and there was only common sense…
By the time that Wes and Tim returned to school on Monday, the former had identified a course that would largely focus on economics and languages at Princeton; an Ivy League school like Princeton did not offer a specific degree in business. His course would be of the same kind as that that Tim would be studying, so it would mean that they could request to room together, just as Beats and Flint had done all those years ago. The two boys had gone to see Beats on Saturday afternoon to ask him about student life at Princeton and by chance they had found that Flint was with him. The two older men will soon waxing lyrical about the time they had spent at the college. Tim mentioned the possibility of getting a part time job there and both he and Wes we have a little surprised at the sudden pause in the two older men's responses.
Eventually, Beats replied, "There have a lot of opportunities for employment in Princeton; we both managed to find a job that was rewarding and opened us up to new horizons." Tim nodded, before he wondered why Flint had just turned bright red and seemed unable to speak. Wes noticed that too, and also the sharp change of subject thereafter.
On their return to Dalton, he mentioned it to Sebastian before that first Warbler rehearsal on Monday and was quite surprised when the Head Warbler burst out laughing. When he eventually stopped, Sebastian said, "They were fortunate enough to find a job together, but it wasn't in an area for which I think you and Tim are entirely suited. I must admit that I'm surprised to hear that you will both be going to Princeton, as I was fairly sure that you wanted to study baking and last that I heard, there are no courses in that subject at any Ivy League college."
"I still do want to study baking and to be honest with you, my going to Princeton it's only to keep dad happy. Once I have finished my degree there, my real education can begin."