AUTHOR'S NOTE

I've been needing heavy doses of fictional escapism lately, more than ever before. I'm sure I'm not alone. Hope everyone is holding up. 3

Pleased to say I have been writing a lot lately and am excited for where this story is headed. Thanks for your comments, questions, and predictions along the way – it's all so helpful and motivating. :) Hope you like this one!

Chapter 11

"If you're about to win again, make it quick," Sasuke grumbled.

He'd picked up on Sakura's tell of sheepishly hiding behind the fan of cards poised between her fingers whenever she was about to beat him.

She slowly lowered her hand onto the grass, revealing the card combination for a royal flush. And that Sasuke's fate was royally sealed.

He sighed and tossed his mishmash of cards onto the ground.

"Sorry," Sakura said, her competitive spirit dampening after her fourth consecutive win. "We don't have to keep –"

"Again," he interrupted while stacking up the cards for the next round, his eyebrows furrowing in concentration – which Sakura had come to recognize was one of his tells.

…For stubbornness.

She smirked and extended her palm, where Sasuke placed the stack for her to shuffle.

As the journey to Earth country stretched on, they had taken to diversifying their pastimes, in between long hours of traversing dense, vibrant forests, rivers winding through misty valleys, and arduous mountain peaks. If they weren't tending to their makeshift campsites or foraging for food (or, in Sakura's case, sludging through grant application writing), they filled their time with games, taijutsu and weapons training, and quizzing each other on ninja lore and strategies for hypothetical battles.

All the while, Sakura was developing an even sharper read of her travelling companion's share of tells and quirks, despite his infamous poker face.

Like the way his eyebrow lifted when he was feigning politeness about something he actually found ridiculous. Or how his eyes flashed when he was worried. Or his lips pursed when he was fighting an urge to laugh. His pet peeves (like when leaks found their ways past the tarp on rainy days, or fish outmaneuvered his first attempts to catch them). And the activities that brought him a sense of calm, like the repetitive movements of sharpening weapons or arranging the campfire kindling in symmetrical patterns.

He seemed reasonably content with their routines on most days, and never shared so much as a hint of irritation over Sakura's hijacking of his redemption journey for her investigation. At least, for now.

Being a tactical genius, Sasuke was not only a marvellous partner for a ninja mission but also for training. When they ventured into territory that Sakura had an upper hand in, he was true to his former top-of-the-Academy standing and approached the task with razer-sharp focus, whether it be taijutsu formations, kneading medical chakra for headache treatments, or her methods for winning card games. Then, when Sakura was on the learning end of things, his encouragement hit deep, by the nature of it being from him, though Sakura found herself just as grateful for the criticism, even when his delivery was blunt, even impatient.

Your form's wrong.

Do that again.

You can do better.

While Sasuke's tendency to judge one's worth by their skills might have come from a place of condescending at another point in their lives, Sakura now felt, through his feedback, the underlying message: respect for her potential.

Many people Sakura encountered saw women, even kunoichi, differently; as a prize to be won, a person to be saved, or even just someone to marry. Sasuke, on the other hand, didn't – he was equally harsh with and had high expectations for everyone he worked with.

He treated her like a ninja.

And that was exactly the sort of company she needed right now, at this uncertain point in her life.

There were moments in between the training and the planning and the logic, though, quieter moments, where Sakura's read on Sasuke's intentions were murkier.

The shared blankets and body heat on nights that weren't very cold. The unspoken rule of staying in arm's reach of each other at bedtime. When he suggested detours through fresh, flowery fields that served no apparent benefit to their journey, but lifted Sakura's mood nonetheless. Their growing acquaintances with the callouses and scars of the other's hands.

If Sakura wasn't so adept at tempering her expectations, she might have believed there was something growing between them, something tender and delicate and new.

But she quelled those thoughts as quickly as they came, not giving her heart any leeway to get itself into trouble, again.

Yet sometimes, in those quiet moments, when their shared glances held for a fraction too long, Sakura wondered if she detected a flicker of yearning in his eyes or if she'd merely caught a glimpse of her own eyes reflected in them.

The day they arrived at Sasuke's contact point, Sakura had woken to throbbing pains in her gut and head, and a persistent, heavy fatigue, likely having to do with the start of her menstrual cycle, their dwindling food rations, or recent restless nights due to freezing temperatures. Or some combination of those things.

Nonetheless, she kept her chin up, still far too enamoured with the opportunities this journey promised than to fret over minor inconveniences. And, at least, her mood piqued when Sasuke's hawk came bearing two letters from home.

They found a sunny spot on the rocky shore of a river cutting between tall cliffs to read them. Sakura unfurled the first scroll and discovered, with a swell of eagerness, that it was from Kakashi.

The bulk of his note was all business, by acknowledging her medical tour's summary report and endorsing her self-assigned mission with Sasuke to investigate the mysterious ambushers.

I'd say keep out of trouble, but I know my team too well for that, he'd added. Sakura smirked.

Speaking of trouble, Naruto will be back from his mission soon. I would advise including him on your next round of letters unless you want him trying to crash your travels. You know how he gets.

Stay safe. You might be accomplished kage-level ninjas now but you'll always be my little brats. K.

Chuckling, Sakura turned to Sasuke, who was stretched out in the sun, eyes closed with his hand resting on his stomach, and promptly dropped the scroll on him. He swiped it just before it hit his chest and creaked a questioning eye open.

"This one's for you, too," she explained, while unravelling the other letter.

Sasuke held Kakashi's letter over his face to block the sun while he scanned its contents. "Maybe he does think he's a parent figure," he mused, his nonchalant tone betrayed by the curve of his lips.

"He talks about Naruto like he's the whiny little brother of the group so I guess we were spot-on about that," Sakura added as Ino's swirly font came into view.

Sasuke snorted and tucked the letter in his pocket so it didn't catch in the breeze.

Ino's letter, which brimmed with her usual flair, commenced with the latest details of her wedding planning, including her decisions on flowers, jewelry, Sai's outfit, and featured cocktails.

We don't have a date yet. Some time next spring would be nice though, don't you think?

But maybe mine won't be the only wedding to plan, hmmm? How's Sasuke?

Sakura choked on her saliva as heat crept up her face.

She cast a nervous glance at her travelling companion, whose eyes were thankfully closed again, and hoped he didn't expect her to share this letter with him too. Because there was no way.

Her heart sank when she glimpsed the next line.

Okay, now for the not so good news.

Sakura sobered instantly and eased onto a boulder to brace herself.

Like I told you, getting Tsunade to cover your board meeting was a piece of cake. All it took was paying her tab after a night of drinking and making jokes at your expense. It was great.

But the board meeting wasn't.

Sakura's stomach dropped further and further as she absorbed Ino's meeting debrief.

Several of the hospital's board members had been particularly combative during the meeting, even calling into question the purpose of Sakura's clinic altogether. They claimed there wasn't enough evidence to prove it was a worthwhile investment, and until there was more data, the clinic's funding would be suspended when its current contract ended.

They'd named a few specific metrics they wanted more information on, like Sakura's patients' future health outcomes and career progressions, or Konoha's long-term cost-savings from investing in youth mental health – all of which were things that were either years too soon to measure, or Sakura didn't have the time or the means to obtain for the fast-approaching grant application deadline.

Her head began to spin.

I'm sorry to drop this news on you so close to the deadline, but figured you'd want to hear it straight.

I know you'll come up with something, though. You always do.

Sakura stared at the letter for a long moment in stunned silence.

When the threat of tears prickled in her eyes, she shoved it in her pouch and stood. "I'm taking a walk," she mumbled and departing for the surrounding trees.

Several strings of curses and shattered boulders later, Sakura collapsed onto a tree trunk in a sobbing heap. Her head dropped into her hands while she fought to control her breathing and the relentless stream of tears.

I have to start everything over.

It was clear, based on Ino's message, that Sakura's grant application was doomed in its current form. She would have to effectively rewrite it if her clinic was to stand a chance against the board's threats of shut down. The trouble was, she barely had a week left to finish and submit it.

But that wasn't even the worst part.

The board claimed they needed more data. But they weren't giving her the time or funds to actually generate any. Which felt an awful lot like she was being set up for failure.

A throbbing pain stabbed through her abdomen.

Sakura winced and doubled over, clutching her lower belly, and swallowed down an urge to vomit. Menstruation regrettably tended to have a negative effect on both Sakura's physical stamina and her mental health, making everything feel a little harder, a little more hopeless. Even so, she knew, objectively, that her clinic was in an incredibly tight spot.

She released a broken, defeated sigh as a tear dribbled off her nose.

While her friends had moved forward with their lives, finding their senses of purpose and contentment with their places in the world, Sakura had poured her whole being into the clinic, perhaps while losing a bit of herself, and her own purpose, along the way.

And now, she might lose the clinic too.

"W-what… have I been…," Sakura sobbed quietly into her hand.

…doing with my life?

Sakura wasn't sure quite how long she stayed like that for, hunched over on the fallen tree with one hand on her face and the other on her aching belly, but that was where Sasuke eventually found her.

The instant he took in the semi-demolished landscape and Sakura's near-fetal position, his hand shot for the sword at his hip, his eyes flashing with alarm.

"Wait, n-no," Sakura stumbled out, nearly choking on her tears. "Everything's… everything's okay."

As if to prove her point, green chakra flickered in her palm, providing a brief, soothing relief to her abdominal pain. There was no way of fully masking the inevitable trouble that came with her cycle, but medical chakra sometimes muted a bit of the pain, if temporarily.

Sasuke stared at Sakura in disbelief as a profound humiliation crept over her. This was the last state she wanted anyone, but especially him, to find her in. If he were a lesser ninja, she might have tried her hand at hiding with genjutsu or making a break for it.

She sniffed and wiped her nose on the back of her wrist. "Really, it's okay. Just… menstrual pain. And some bad news about… t-the clinic," she said and covering her face with both hands in a futile effort to conceal the next sob that wracked through her.

"What news?" he asked point-blank.

Sakura swallowed thickly. And told him everything.

He listened quietly. Midway through her spiel about the board's unrealistic demands for data, Sasuke slowly released the handle of his sword and lowered onto the tree trunk a few feet away from her.

"I just… I don't want to give up our investigation. I know I should go home and sort out my work stuff when we're done here, but… not yet. Not when things have finally been… When I've finally felt…" She released a slow breath and cleared her throat. "I just need a minute to figure out what to do," she finished, exhausted, and massaging her temples. She didn't dare look in his direction.

Sasuke remained silent for a long while. And then, finally, and just as Sakura was reconsidering making a break for it, he asked, "Would another hospital or library have data you could use?"

Sakura took a shaky inhale and considered this. While gathering scraps of information from small-town facilities wasn't the scale of data the hospital board was looking for, without the time or resources to generate her own raw data, secondary research was likely her only option.

She rubbed her sore eyes with the heels of her palms. "That's better than doing nothing, I guess," she sighed.

"We'll take a break from the investigation and find one," he said decidedly.

"Okay."

A heavy silence hung in the air and Sakura kept her gaze fixed on her lap. Sasuke's observant eyes darted in her direction every few moments, studying her face like he expected her to say something else.

But this only made Sakura painfully aware of how pathetic and useless and utterly unattractive she probably looked, with puffy eyes, blotchy skin, and a mixture of dried snot and tears caught in the crevices of her face.

She brought her hands back up to cover it.

Please stop looking. Please leave me alone. Please just–

"What do you need?" Sasuke asked carefully.

Sakura considered his question but her train of thought was interrupted.

By a specific, embarrassing memory.

Despite it all, a twisted smile tugged at the corners of her tear-stained lips. "You asked me the exact same thing back then," she mumbled through her fingers.

Sakura could feel the confusion radiating off him. "When?"

"When I got my first period."

Sasuke fell silent. Sakura chanced a quick glance at him and found his eyes wide and lips pursed. "Do you remember?" she asked.

"Hard to forget that," he admitted, his eyebrow quirking.

"It scarred you too, huh?"

Sasuke huffed and shook his head. "Not as much as you."

Sakura released a sound caught between a laugh and a sob, squeezing out a few stray tears.

Sakura's first period had made its dreaded appearance during one of Team Seven's missions – a lowly D-Rank somewhere just outside the village boarders, in the days leading up to the Chūnin Exams.

In her panic, she'd confided in Kakashi, who had dutifully escorted her to a nearby shop, where a kind civilian woman had set her up with the supplies she needed. Unsurprisingly, Naruto and Sasuke had been rather concerned by Sakura's abrupt panic and need for medical products, thinking she had sustained some sort of injury.

So, Kakashi had taken it upon himself to give Team Seven a sex ed talk – in the name of teamwork.

Looking back, Sakura was quite impressed by Kakashi's initiative to take on something well beyond his paygrade to help them all understand each other a little better.

But, of course, at the time, she had spent the entirety of the lesson plotting his murder. After all, being the case study of a sex ed lesson was the last thing any teenage girl wanted.

Especially when the entire class consisted of boys. With one of them being her crush, no less.

Sakura chuckled and took a shaky breath. "I can't even be mad at Kakashi-sensei because he was trying to help. But I think he traumatized us."

Sasuke closed his eyes, smirking. "Naruto wasn't okay."

The memory of Naruto's face flickering through almost every emotion on the spectrum surfaced – from confusion to horror to amazement to fear. He'd been unusually quiet for the rest of the day, save muttering things like "No wonder they're so scary" and "I'm never talking back to her again" under his breath.

She snorted. "Well, he deserved that for never paying attention at the Academy."

Sasuke frowned. "I did and I still didn't know what to do."

"Oh, I know," Sakura said, her tear-tracked cheeks warming. The image of him approaching her after the lesson with his arms folded and gaze determinedly downcast was etched into her brain for all eternity. "When you asked me what I needed I almost died of embarrassment."

Sasuke smiled and averted his eyes. "Me too."

With all major villages requiring a massive detour from their path to Adakite, the birth town of the person named on the medical bill in the enemy's liar, and routes impossible to complete in time for the fast-approaching grant application deadline, Sasuke and Sakura settled on a nearby coastal town in Earth country as their next stop.

While the town's library was nothing to sniff at, it at least had a well-equipped hospital with a sizeable reference collection. Upon her arrival, Sakura was recognized for her efforts to heal the entire ninja alliance during the war and was graciously offered free reign over every resource at the little hospital's disposal.

After completing a courtesy tour of the facility and meeting several doctors and members of its senior leadership along the way, Sakura collected a stack of books and parked down at a rickety desk tucked between filing cabinets to begin her research.

A few hours in to her vigorous note-taking, a receptionist tracked her down to offer a glass of water and to deliver a message.

"A man left this for you. Told me to say it's not urgent," he said uncertainly while handing Sakura a letter with a brass key secured to it.

The note contained nothing but an address, scrawled in a familiar slanted, scratchy penmanship.

Sasuke had made himself scarce while Sakura researched, perhaps off exploring or crime-fighting or whatever he did when he passed time alone. She presumed the note indicated the place he wanted her to go when she finished her work.

Perhaps he's found a good spot to restock our food rations. Or another lead in the investigation? she wondered before returning her attention to the academic article she'd been reading.

Another several hours later, when Sakura's brain had reached capacity and the throbbing in her head and abdomen returned, she decided to call it a day and track down the location on the note. The application was far from completed but she'd at least made some headway in its reframing.

The fresh, salty scent of ocean caught on the early evening breeze as she navigated the unfamiliar seaside town brimming with street vendors and fish markets.

Sasuke was no where to be found, even at the note's address, which turned out to be a room at a quaint, local inn.

What does he want me here for? she wondered and taking in the two double beds with crisply tucked bedding, the private bathroom, the floor-length windows with sheer seafoam drapes, and the cozy balcony with a view of the shore. Is there something here to investigate?

Her eyes lingered on the plump pillows and teal-patterned duvets.

Or… are we staying here? she wondered in disbelief.

Sasuke's preference for camping was no secret, having rarely lingered in populated areas beyond their essential errands.

But perhaps he felt differently today. Maybe they were spending the night in town?

… And could finally take proper showers and sleep on real beds?

Sakura lowered her bag to the floor and crept to the bathroom, just to scout it out.

The shower was pristine, spacious, and fully equipped with complementary soap, shampoo, and towels.

The fantasy of warm water pooling over her grimy, weather-worn skin and hair wormed its way into her mind.

Then she spotted the hair dryer. And almost cried.

Okay, even if we're just here to investigate, or I'm an idiot whose been lured into some kind of trap, it would be a waste not to test out the shower... right?

Sasuke still hadn't made an appearance by the time Sakura was scrubbed clean, her skin cool and moisturized, her hair dried smooth, and her mood lighter than it had been in as long as she could remember.

She slipped a white robe over her loungewear, approached the bed nearest the window, and considered her predicament.

Would there be any harm in checking if the pillows really were as soft and plush as they looked?

And what if Sasuke didn't turn up for awhile? Why waste a perfectly comfortable alternative to standing around?

...right?

Almost of its own accord, Sakura's body shimmed under the duvet.

Just for a quick breather. Just to test it out. Just to…

She hardly had a chance to assess the bed's quality or the pillows' softness.

Because, potential traps be damned, she was fast asleep within seconds.

Fortunately, not only was Sakura not attacked in her sleep, but she had the most delightful nap of her entire life.

Her eyes fluttered open to catch the final winks of orange sunlight pouring in through the open window, beckoning in the fresh, seaside breeze.

It took every shred of Sakura's willpower to leave the duvet's warm cocoon and stumble to the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth. Sasuke still wasn't in the immediate vicinity, but neither were any intruders. Even so, her survival instincts told her she'd better examine the place more thoroughly before crawling back under the covers.

Just as she was retying the robe around herself, with a jolt of surprise, she realized her travelling companion had made an appearance, seated on the balcony in a charcoal sweater, his legs outstretched and ankles crossed over the metal railing.

Warmth fluttered through her at the sight of his relaxed stance, facing the setting sun as it descended over the sea.

Sasuke kept his eyes on the horizon when she slipped through the sliding door to join him. "How was it?" he asked. Upon closer inspection, it appeared he'd showered and tidied up too, perhaps while she was napping, as indicated by his clean-shaven face and fresh clothes.

The fact she'd never heard him doing so was a testament to both his stealth and the deepness of her slumber.

"Like heaven," she sighed as she sunk into the other chair. She'd been out of the bed for barely five minutes and was already daydreaming about returning to it.

His lips twitched. "I meant the research."

"Oh," she chuckled, her cheeks warming. "Okay, I think," she said, shrugging. "But my application still needs a lot of work."

Sasuke leaned his head back and closed his eyes. "The innkeeper said there's space here all week if you want to stay," he said.

Sakura peered at him, her heart swelling with relief and gratitude. A soft breeze wafted past, sweeping his dark hair away from his face as his hand came to rest on the parchment and pen atop the ornate metal table between them.

Sakura's eyes followed the motion, her curiosity piqued. "Were you writing something?" she asked.

"Just something for Kakashi," he mumbled without opening his eyes.

Sakura smirked. "Oh, he'll love that."

"We'll see."

That was when Sakura spotted the assortment of neatly-stacked containers and paper bags covering the rest of the table.

Sensing the direction of her gaze, Sasuke said, "Take whatever you want."

Curiously, Sakura reached for a cylindrical container and found it pleasingly warm to the touch. Between that and the savoury aroma wafting from it, she realized what was inside.

The dull ache of hunger throbbed in her belly.

Marinated skewered meats. A colourful assortment of thick vegetable soups. Fresh, warm bread. Cups of piping hot tea.

Sakura's mouth fell open. It had been quite some time since she'd seen food that they themselves hadn't harvested from a forest.

She glanced up to find Sasuke observing her, the soft orange light of sunset dancing in his dark eyes while he waited for her reaction, a guardedness there like a part of him expected disapproval, like he hadn't done enough.

Her chest tightened with affection. "You didn't have to do all this," she said quietly. "But I appreciate it."

"You'd have done the same for me," was his dismissive response.

Sakura shook her head while she peeled back a container's lid, salivating at the scent of the soup's rich, savoury broth. "Yeah," she said and lifting the container to her lips, taking a generous sip, "I'll return the favour next time you're on your period."

A pair of chopsticks whirled at her head.

She caught them between two fingers, while carefully balancing the container in her other hand. Sasuke glared at her, but his effort to look annoyed was spoiled by his disbelieving laugh.

Sakura nearly spat out her mouthful of soup as she failed to suppress her own.