I don't own Hetalia okay? As if I need more projects, I was listening to "Lawyers, Guns and Money" By Warren Zevron (and The Wallflowers covers it too….) and well this idea came to mind. Anyway, enough of this A/N, on with the fic!
Alfred blinked as he laid on tropical ground, staring at the ceiling fan as it rotated slowly above him. "I'm in deep shit." He said as he laid his arm over his eyes. He could hear his drill sergeant and his mother both yelling at him for following his dick. And somehow his angry mother scared him more than a pissed off Sargent. He was doing the kind of stuff his grandfather did back in World War 2 anyway. That man was a SAS member who had stories of things he had done to the Germans and Alfred thought that was so cool and he had wanted to be just like that when he grew up. "Well Grampappy, I really lived up to your example….." He moaned, ignoring the flies and mosquitos around.
She had been so beautiful and the Russian accent, he never knew he was so attracted to it. Why he never paused to think about why there would be a Russian woman working at a bar in Cuba is something that a voice like his mother's scolded in his mind. The Missile Crisis was well over 20 years earlier at this point and frankly, Alfred never questioned the missions he got sent on. Just go a good job and the higher ups take the credit. And downtime was important for morale right? So you could keep up your mind and think best on your feet. And man, was she a bombshell. "Come on sarge, you wouldn't pass up a hot chick like that! YEEEEEEOWCH!" Alfred yelled.
"Why thank you very much." The waitress said as she lit a cigarette after putting her other one out on Alfred. "But that won't free you."
"Come on, one night with Alfie and you'll be ready to come to the light side." Alfred smirked.
"Your pick up lines are pathetic. Do you have something else you want to share?" She said as she moved in closer, making sure that her breasts were accentuated. Voluptuous but not gigantic, why I am better than my sister for missions involving seduction...
"Same thing as I said before, I am Alfred F. Jones, Operations Sargent seral number 1070476. That's all you're getting out of me you commie bitch" Alfred scowled.
"Now that's not what you were promising me before..." She said moving closer to him, running her blade right by his chin, sharpened well enough to shave off some of the stubble that had grown in since his capture. "You said you would give me the world. Now is your chance. Give me what I want and I will be all yours."
"As much as I want to show you what it's like with an all American man, I will have to refuse." He motioned to his dog tags and necklace. "I'm a good Christian boy."
"Yes, because good Christian boys get drunk at a Cuban shitbar while trying to commit war crimes and acts of espionage..." Natalya said rolling her eyes. She turned to him and yelled. "Fine. I'll leave you to your own devices." She shut the door behind her. "Which if what I felt was true, will drive you mad..."
"What did you say sestra?" A tall man in a blue and white striped tank top, olive green pants tucked into combat boots and a long, old scarf said.
"I think that American bastard is horny for me." Natalya said.
"Is he tied up?" Ivan asked.
"No, but he is rather beat and injured. I think he insulted Carlos too much at the bar before I had gotten ahold of him." Natalya said. "So I guess he could thrill himself if he wanted to."
"Well, that could be used to blackmail him..." Ivan sighed in defeat.
"What? What did you want me to do? Sleep with him! Big brother think about this! I would be disgracing myself!" Natalya shuddered.
"But American men think with their dicks. You were recruited as an intelligence officer and I took you under my command to make sure that you were safe." Ivan said, knowing that despite his sister's skill, she could hardly stand to be away from him and any other commander couldn't handle her and to prevent her from being sent to the gulag for insubordination. They had come up through a lot of hard work to be valuable members of the Soviet military despite nearly starving to death as children and he had promised their older sister he would keep Natalya as safe as could be in the field of espionage.
"And how is sleeping with him and making him think I love him keeping me safe? How do you know he's not carrying a disease?" Natalya said.
"Because we have friends in Guantanamo." Ivan smirked handing Natalya a dossier. "You couldn't get a more perfect embodiment of what that McCarthy fool wanted. And he is a 'good boy' hasn't touched liquor or women till he became a Green Beret, seeking special forces following his grandfather's career in the SAS."
"So his grandparents are from Britain?" Natalya said perusing the file.
"Home was destroyed in the Blitz, thought the 'Land of the free' would be a good place to start over." Ivan scoffed. "Also according to the file he was the MVP for his high school football team and chose the military over college football, once again following his grandfather's legacy."
"Can you get any more 'all American'?" Natalya said with a look of disgust.
"Which is why we need what is in his brain." Ivan said shutting the dosser with a snap and placing it down on the desk. "He's in special forces with high clearance. We need this information for our plans here to succeed. We want those Capitalistic pigs out of central America. The Sandinistas need this information." Ivan reminded Natalya. "And I know, that as part of your training, women are taught how to use their charms to get men to spill their guts."
"Were you taught the same?" Natalya scoffed, feeling betrayed at what her brother was implying.
"Yes." Ivan said simply. "And believe it or not, I have seduced some secrets out of unknowing women. It can be part of your job."
"I'd rather seduce a woman..." Natalya scoffed.
"However..." Ivan began as Natalya looked back at him. "It needs to seem real. I mean he may be stupid but he can't be so stupid as to think that you suddenly went from die hard party member to wanting to escape..."
"I don't know, he seems pretty stupid..." Natalya sighed.
"More like he lacks common sense. You cannot be a total idiot to get into special forces." Ivan corrected. He then looked at his younger sister sternly. How she could not see that he was keeping her out of the gulag and in good standing with the KGB was beyond him, but duty to the party and country came first and that duty would be the key to it all. Ivan paced back and forth, thinking. As much as he didn't like to admit it, there were signs and whispers that the USSR may not have had the strength it had when they were children. Time was pressing for sure, but from what Ivan did see, Alfred had resolve. He was not one to give in easily. Foolish when intoxicated yes, but even then, the only things he had divulged in that state was that he did not like the bartender and knew an extensive collection of racial slurs somehow. Forgive me sestra... Ivan thought as he began to concoct a plan. If Natalya wouldn't act like a defector on her own and lure Alfred into a false sense of security, then he would have to appeal to Alfred's hero complex and Natalya's easy desire for revenge.
Meanwhile, Alfred had wiped his hands on the dirt slightly disgusted with himself but nothing else would have helped his position. He then moved with a wince in pain and looked around for anything that would be helpful for him to get out of the cell and back to the base in Guantanamo. The only window he could see was high up towards the ceiling and the walls were brick, making it hard to try and climb and the furniture was scare around the room. As he pondered this, the only door opened up and a large man came in dragging Natalya by the collar of her shirt and then threw her down in the corner nearest the door.
"Arlovskaya, have you broken this Capitalist pig yet?" Ivan said. You are the commander. The fact this is your little sister means nothing. You need to do this to put the events in motion to make our plan succeed. His hero complex, her desire for revenge and a mix of desperation will put them just where I want them.
Natlaya spoke up, noticing that by using her last name, this was a professional situation and she was to respond as such. "Major Braginsky, I have attempted to-" with this, Ivan pulled back and punched Natalya in the solar plexus knocking the wind out of her.
"Attempt, attempt?" Ivan scoffed. It's not her...it's not her... "If you were worth anything you would have had this scum telling you everything!" He said kicking her across the room.
"Knock it off you Commie bastard!" Alfred said as he got up and ran over, tackling Ivan, knocking him flat. Natalya looked up in surprise. She knew her brother was a large man, and Alfred had not looked strong enough to do that, even before he was injured. "She's just doing her job and I'm doing mine by not telling! I thought you people weren't as heartless as that McCarthy guy said!"
I thought you people weren't as heartless as that McCarthy guy said! Natalya heard in her mind as she slowly got up, grabbing her ribs wincing. He stood up for me? In a way? This is weird...
"If she was doing her job you idiot," Ivan said turning his attention to Alfred, "She would have pulled all the secrets from your empty skull."
"Well here in the West we never hit a lady." Alfred said as he hid a wince, ignoring all the pain. "Besides, she did do me over pretty good."
"Oh so she fucked you and didn't even get any intel." Ivan said. Older sister would kill me if she knew what was happening... "What do we need with a whore like that?"
"No." Alfred said. "Nothing of that sort happened." Although I wish it did... "and besides, doesn't your line of work naturally come with sex sometimes? Sarge warned us of that." Ivan growled. " So lay off!" Alfred said as he punched Ivan under the jaw. Ivan rubbed his chin and then took out his pistol and smacked Alfred in the face with it.
"Not so pretty anymore?" Ivan smirked. "What woman would have you?"
"Meh, this will just heal and become a totally rad scar the ladies will love, Won't ya uh...Miss Arlovskaya?" Alfred said, trying to smile at Natalya.
"Charming her to your side?" Ivan said. "Disgusting." He turned to Natalya who had gotten up and walked close to him in confusion and then he just pushed her back down. "And Arlovskaya, it could be worse for you. Maybe this fool will take pity on you." One he shut the door, he sighed "Forgive me. I did what I had to do. This is for the country and if Natalya does the job for the country, she will be safe." Ivan told himself as he walked away, wiping some of the blood on his hand on his shirt. He walked away, telling himself in his mind this was for the best, but part of him could not stop thinking that he may have done more harm than good.
Natalya looked at the door shut behind Ivan with despair. Blinking, she took in all that had happened. Ivan, her beloved older brother, the one who had fought the higher ups in the KGB to make sure that she was under his command had just beat her senseless. Sure she hadn't broken Alfred yet, but they were going to work on it. They agreed that Alfred could be a stubborn bastard if he wanted to be and it would take a lot of work to get what they needed but Natalya was sure he'd break eventually. She didn't want to have to sleep with him to get the information but if it proved to be the way, she would have. And there was the fact Alfred stood up for her, her, the one who was beating the crap out of him and interrogating him, calling him things like idiot and capitalist pig, it made no sense.
"Hey, ummmm... Miss Arlovskaya" Alfred said not knowing what to make of the situation himself. "I mean it was totally wrong for your commanding officer to do that to you. And well I have this personal code, that you don't hit a girl and you don't beat your subordinates and that Braginsky guy violated both...but...I'm still only telling you this... I am Alfred F. Jones, Operations Sargent seral number 1070476." A tense silence filled the air.
"I'm Natalya Arlovskaya and I am going to get you out of here." Natalya said.
So how was that? Good? Bad? Short? Long? Let me know in a review. Yes I know I have tons of other WIP I need to work on but it's been awhile since I could get myself to do anything like this, so I consider this quite the achievement. Anyway, my sad life aside, remember to read, well you just did and to review. Ciao for now,
otherrealmwriter
aka
Realm.