Brice

When I wake up, it's still dark, and Jason's gone already. I've discovered over these last few months that he doesn't sleep much and doesn't seem to need it. After all the excitement last night, I swear I could have slept all day.

But the day's work awaits and sleeping in isn't an option. Might as well go see what Jason's up to.

I roll out of bed and dress in yesterday's clothes. A shower can wait until the morning's work is done. Maybe I can convince Jason to join me, though most likely the suggestion will be met with a stony glare, maybe an eyeroll.

The air is so cold it nearly takes the breath out of me, and I shiver as I cross from the bunkhouse to the barn where we put up that black stallion last night. He's the biggest damn horse I've seen, almost as big as some draft horses, though nowhere near as heavy. I'm grateful we found what appears to be his owner, though the guy was in rough shape when Miranda and Jason found him. Wherever he is, I hope he's doing okay.

Jason was even more concerned. Maybe he saw something I didn't, maybe he was thinking about something else. I can't hardly tell with him. He's not a guy who speaks his mind much. From the little he's told me, he's had a rough life up until now. I tease him that it's better now that he's here with me, and he often smiles a little at that. There's probably a little truth to that. I know he's made my life a hell of a lot better.

I walk into the barn and hear a loud snort from the stall where we put the stallion up for the night. Now that I get a better look at him, it's obvious he's well-conditioned, maybe a racehorse, though he doesn't look like any Thoroughbred I've ever seen. As big as he is, he's sleek, with a graceful head that shows some Arabian breeding.

Jason lifts his head as I approach, greeting me with a nod and a slight smile. "About time you got out here."

"Thought I'd sleep in." I answer with a short laugh. "How's the big guy doing?"

"Seems okay." Jason answers as he smooths a large hand over the horse's back. "He's moving pretty well. I'll talk to Earl and see about getting the vet out here to check him over."

I nod and make my way around to the stall, holding out a hand for the horse to sniff. He snorts and pulls back a little. "I see, I see." I tell him. "Figures you'd like this guy better than me. Everyone does."

"I like you better than I like me." Jason offers quietly.

"Well now, that's just sad." I answer lightly. After a beat, I tell him, "Everyone includes me, you know."

Jason doesn't respond, just continues caring for the horse. I'm not sure why I thought he would respond any differently than he does any other time. It's only after lights out in the bunkhouse that he feels free to express any emotion at all, and boy, does he. It's almost as if he saves it all up for then. I can't say I object.

He gives the horse some feed and we move on to take care of the rest of the animals. Soon enough it starts to get light, and after a couple hours of work, we head up to the house to see what Jill has cooking for breakfast.

"Morning, boys." She calls out cheerfully as we make our way to the kitchen table. "How's our guest?"

"He's in pretty good shape, all things considered." Jason answers. "Think maybe we should get the vet out to check him over."

Earl nods in agreement. "I'll give him a call after breakfast."

Miranda soon appears, her long hair in a ponytail at the base of her neck, her slender figure moving gracefully to the stove to help finish with breakfast. She's a pretty little thing, a far cry from the scared little bird she seemed to be when she first arrived. Jason notices me staring and shakes his head.

But he knows this about me. Men, women, I'm happy with either. One's not better than the other, just different. For now, though, I'm content with Jason's companionship, and really have no desire to hit on Miranda. She'd probably knock me on my ass if I tried, anyway.

I half-listen to the conversation going on around me, mostly studying Jason. He's changed too, in his time here. He stands straighter, walks with a quiet confidence. Considering what a mess he was when I first picked him up hitchhiking out on the county road back at the beginning of the summer, he's come a long way. In a way, I guess we both have.

He looked like any other hippie kid that you'd see around here, long hair, a scraggly beard, wearing an Army surplus jacket even though it was the middle of the summer. It had been a while since I'd had some companionship, and I figured if nothing else, we could have a good time.

And so, I took my chances and pulled over, leaning over to holler out the window. "Where you headed?"

"Doesn't matter."

"Get in."

He climbed in, dropping his knapsack at his feet with a sigh. "Thanks, man."

"Glad to help. What's your name?"

"Jason."

"Brice." I held out my hand, surprised by his firm grip, admiring his long fingers. "I'm headed back to the Lost and Found ranch. You can crash there if you want, maybe get a couple good meals in you."

He nodded, and we drove on.

We talked a little as we drove, with me doing most of the talking. Jason didn't say much. He looked worn down, and I noticed him trembling a little. I didn't think much of it at the time, but looking back, I know now he was in the early stages of heroin withdrawal. I didn't yet know what the days ahead would hold.

I figured I should take him up to the house to check in with Earl and Jill. Besides, it was close to supper time, and I figured Jason could use a decent meal. For that matter, I was good and ready, too.

"What took you so long?" Earl barked as soon as I walked in.

I gestured to Jason, and Earl shakes his head before calling out to Jill. "Honey, set another place. Brice picked himself up a stray."

I felt my face heat up, and I glanced over at Jason, who didn't seem to register the comment at all. Matter of fact, he was starting to look pretty miserable, rubbing at his arms and shifting from foot to foot, his forehead shining like new money.

"You can hang up your jacket." I offered. "It's pretty warm in here."

"I'm fine." Jason answers quietly, although it was clear he was anything but.

"Come eat." Earl waved us into the dining room.

We joined the rest of the ranch crew at the table and Earl led the blessing before we started passing dishes around. Jill made a point of sitting next to Jason, quietly making conversation, even though he didn't seem to respond. He didn't seem to eat much, either.

Eventually the rest of the crew returned to the bunkhouse, and I hung back to help Jill clean up. I was keeping an eye on Jason, too. He seemed to be getting worse as the evening wore on, and it seemed like any shot at a good time with him was going out the window.

"I'll fix up a room for your friend." Jill offered. "Seems he's feeling poorly."

"You want me to stay here for the night?" I asked, part of me still hoping to get somewhere with the guy. "Kind of feel bad dumping him on you."

Jill eyed me skeptically before allowing a little smile. "It comes with the territory. People find this place when they need it the most."

It's true. I was just supposed to help out for the summer. That was three years ago.

"Appreciate it." I nodded and returned to the dining room, where Jason still sat, looking even worse off than before. He's shivering and sweating, and I'm alarmed at the sight. "Hey man, you want to lay down? Jill's gonna fix you up a room before too long. You can lay down on the couch in the meantime."

"I'll be okay." Jason closed his eyes. "I think I left my bag in your truck."

"I'll go after it."

I returned with the bag, and I could hear Jill and Jason talking quietly. Soon she appeared in the living room, looking worried. I handed her Jason's bag. "Is he gonna be okay?"

"I think so." She replied. "At least for the night. You can go back to the bunkhouse."

I wanted to object, but there's no point in arguing with Jill. I wouldn't win. Instead, I said my good nights and returned to the bunkhouse, where the rest of the crew immediately gave me a hard time, making cracks about the dirty hippie I picked up. I ignored them and headed for the showers, letting my mind wander as I washed the day off me. Since I wasn't getting laid tonight, a little time to myself in the shower was the next best thing.

# # #

The next day kept me good and busy, and it was late in the day when Jill called me out at the bunkhouse. "Earl and I are going out of town for the weekend. Can you come up and stay with Jason? He's still not feeling well and I don't want to leave him alone."

"Sure thing." I answered quickly, hoping I didn't sound too eager. "I'll be up there in a few."

As soon as I arrived, Jill gave me a quick rundown. She'd made sure to leave the fridge and pantry well-stocked, and I assured her that we would be fine for a day or two.

She still looked worried, and Earl had to persuade her to leave. They'd had this weekend planned for a while, for Jill's birthday, and Earl wasn't going to let some stray ruin it for them.

Finally, Earl got her out the door, leaving me alone in the large, quiet house. I spent a lot of time here when I first got here, back when I first left home in search of…well, I had no idea. Something different, for sure.

I decided to look in on Jason, and I made my way down the hall to one of the spare rooms. I opened the door to see him curled up in a ball on the bed, shaking under the covers. Poor guy, he must have thought he was dying. Hell, if I didn't know differently, I would have thought the same.

I went into the room and crouched down next to the bed, lightly stroking the top of his head. Jason shifted and rolled over, his face contorted in pain. His hand reached out to grab at my shirt. "You've got to help me."

"I'll do what I can." I told him.

"Come on, man." Jason whispered. "I need a hit. Just…just to take the edge off."

"Now see, that I can't do." I answered. "But what I can do is stay here with you."

Jason let out a noise somewhere between a growl and a whimper. It was hard to hear, hard to be with him, knowing the one thing he wanted was the one thing I wouldn't, couldn't provide. The ranch is miles from nowhere. I wouldn't even know where to find drugs if I wanted them.

My knees were getting sore from crouching, and at the very least, I wanted to get a chair. But Jason had a death grip on my shirt, and it didn't look like he was going to let go any time soon.

Eventually, Jason seemed to wear out, relaxing his grip, and I took the opportunity to change out the sweat-soaked blankets for fresh ones, a pattern that would repeat for the next couple days.

It was early on Sunday morning when an unfamiliar sound startled me awake from where I slept on the couch. I sat up, barely able to make out a figure in the darkness, and turned on the living room lamp.

Jason stood before me, weaving slightly, a dazed expression on his face. I rose from the couch to meet him. "What's going on, man? You okay?"

"I think so." He answered quietly, almost as if he couldn't believe it himself. "I feel like shit."

"I'll bet you do." I couldn't help laughing a little. "You've been out of it for two days. You want something to eat?"

He shook his head. "Could use a shower."

"I'll wash your clothes while you clean up." I offered. "Just leave them outside the door."

He looked surprised, but agreed, and soon I heard water running, the thump of a pile of clothes hitting the floor outside the door, the door slamming shut. I picked up the pile, trying to ignore the smell before tossing it all in the washing machine.

When I returned, the shower was still running, but there was another sound, too. Shit, I hoped nothing happened to him. I'd never hear the end of it from Earl. I knocked on the bathroom door. "Jason?"

There was no answer, and so I opened the door. It was then that I heard Jason's ragged sobs. I probably should have just let him be, but I just couldn't. "Hey, man, you need help?"

He seemed to pull himself together a little, and the sobs turned to silence as I approached the shower. I pulled back the curtain just a little to see Jason crouched down, letting the water run over him, shaking.

I reached out, resting my hand between his shoulders, and he looked over at me, his eyes red. "Why don't you let me help you out?"

The glare I received in return told me all I needed to know. No use pushing the point. I closed the curtain and checked on the clothes, tossing them into the dryer and returning upstairs. The house was quiet now, a trail of wet footsteps leading back to the bedroom. I opened the door to see a lump under the blankets, dark hair just poking out.

"Your clothes are in the dryer." I told him. "You want something to eat?"

The lump shifted and let out a sigh. "Sure."

I started going through the pantry, finding a couple cans of chicken noodle soup. It wasn't much, but it would probably sit easy in Jason's stomach, and it was simple enough that even I couldn't manage to screw it up.

Jason emerged just as I finished heating the soup on the stove, sliding into a chair, a blanket still wrapped around him. I couldn't tell if he had on anything underneath it. Wouldn't have mattered anyway. I had long since shoved my own desires aside.

I set the bowl in front of him with a spoon, and he slowly started eating, bringing the spoon up and slurping. After a while he glanced up at me. "Sorry for causing so much trouble. Guess if you'd known I was just another junkie, you would have just left me on the side of the road."

I shrugged. "You're here now. And I wasn't doing much anyway."

We started to talk a little after that, and Jason revealed a little bit about his own life. Adopted at birth by a white couple, he'd been forced out after getting caught fooling around with the neighbor boy. He guessed he'd been out on the road for a couple of years, finding work here and there, finally landing on the streets of Billings, where he'd gotten caught up with drugs and "other stuff" that he didn't really want to talk about.

I took a deep breath, not wanting to make any promises I wasn't sure I'd be able to keep, but wanting to keep him from taking off again. "I can't promise anything, but I'm pretty sure you'll be able to stay here for a while if you want. Earl can always use the help, and Jill can't help taking care of folks."

Jason smiled a little at that, his shoulders relaxing, and I was struck by how handsome he was. "I'd like that."

I couldn't help smiling in return. "Good."

By the time Jill and Earl returned later in the day, Jason had perked up, and he and Earl came to an agreement for him to stay. "That hair's gotta go, son." Earl had told him bluntly.

Soon enough he was out working the ranch with me, and we became something like friends, spending our evenings out in the bunkhouse with the rest of the crew. They would play cards while Jason often sat off to the side, reading one of the books he'd brought with him, only occasionally offering up his own commentary.

There came a night, about a month or so later, when the rest of the crew was up in Billings for the rodeo. Jason and I had stayed behind to take care of the remaining animals and had the place to ourselves. I'd had an eye on him, waiting for any sign that he might be receptive to anything I had to offer. I was getting damn close to just jumping him and taking my chances.

We'd gone to hit the showers, as we'd done a hundred times before, talking in our respective stalls, but on this night, I slipped in behind him. He turned at the sound. "What are you doing?"

"What do you think?" I answered casually.

Jason looked scared, glancing around as I pulled the curtain behind me. "Relax. Everyone's gone."

He seemed skeptical but made no move to kick me out. We were already practically pressed together in the tiny stall. In another step I could have had him up against the wall.

Instead, he stepped toward me, a flash of panic going through me. It quickly dissipated as he gripped my arms and leaned down and kissed me, tentatively at first, quickly deepening, his tongue sliding into my mouth.

Things moved pretty damn quickly after that. What started in the shower continued to the closest bed we could find, hands and mouths exploring every part of each other's bodies until we were worn out, falling asleep tangled up with each other.

The next morning, finding each other again, Jason asked me, "How did you know?"

"I didn't." I replied. "Just took a chance."

He went quiet after that. "We can keep this to ourselves, right?"

"Sure, man. If that's what you want."

And so it had gone ever since. I've come to accept the limitations that go along with being with Jason. I can't imagine my life without him. I'm still not sure if he feels the same.

"Brice, are you listening?" Earl's gruff voice brings me back to the present.

"Sorry." I mutter, feeling my face heat up as Miranda lets out a short laugh. "What'd I miss?"

"Miranda and I are going to try to track down that driver at the hospital." Jill tells me.

"She's gonna try and drag him here." Earl interjects. "Like we need another damn stray around here."

Earl complains, but I know he doesn't really mind. If that were the case, he'd put his foot down and quit letting Jill take in all us lost souls.

"He might need a place to stay if his family isn't nearby." Jill answers in a tone that lets Earl know her mind's made up. "He won't be hospitalized forever, you know."

"At least this one knows his way around a horse." Earl grumbles, gesturing to me and Jason. "Not like these two knuckleheads."

We finish breakfast, and Jason and I make our way back out to the ranch. He looks deep in thought. "What's on your mind, man?" I ask him.

"Nothing."

I know that's bullshit. "Hey, you know Earl. He doesn't mean half the shit he says."

"It's not that." Jason answers.

"It's that guy, isn't it?" I huff.

Jason stops in his tracks, fixing me with a stony look. "You didn't see him, did you?"

I shake my head, and Jason continues. "He was scared, had no idea where he was or what he was doing here. I think he's pretty damn far from home."

"And as bad as that truck's torn up, he's not gonna have a way home."

"Not anytime soon." Jason nods. "And he's not going to be fit to go anywhere for a while."

"So we might have some company."

Jason smiles a little. "I'd say we'll definitely have some company."

I sigh. Just when I think things are finally going to settle down, they get interesting again. I think I've had enough interesting for a while.