A/N: Thanks for the latest reviews, lovely reader peops! :) So glad to know everybody seems to be seeing each new update now, and also that you're enjoying the developing friendship between Jess & Noah :)

(for disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 9

"So, you said a couple of days..."

"You trying to get rid of me, Uncle Luke?" asked Jess with a smirk, turning to look at him shifting awkwardly in place by the door of the apartment.

"Come on, you know that's not it at all. I was just wondering what your plans were, since you said a couple of days..."

"And it's been a couple of days" Jess nodded in understanding, cramming the last of his belongings back into his bag and pulling the zippers shut. "Look, I brought Noah back where he belonged, I hung around because Rory wanted us to catch up, which we did, and I even made time to see Liz while I was here. Now, I'm done," he ended with a shrug of his shoulders. "I'm out of clean clothes, I have work waiting for me, and... and I don't belong here, Luke."

It hurt to say that, more than Jess ever could have imagined it would. After all, he had spent plenty of time, back in the day, waiting impatiently to escape the insane asylum that was Stars Hollow. Of course, he always seemed to want to come back, for some reason or another. Mostly Rory, but that was so not an area of conversation he was getting into with Luke right now, if ever.

"You say you don't belong," his uncle said then, stepping into Jess' path the second he went for the door, "but did you ever think maybe you're wrong about that? Now, I know you always considered yourself a New Yorker, I know you've always felt comfortable there, but for a long time, you made Philadelphia work for you. You like California, you had a great time in Europe."

"So far you've pitched about six different places I could make a happy home, Luke," Jess pointed out. "Why would you think I'd choose Stars Hollow over all of those?"

"You know why."

It wasn't what he said but the way he said it, not to mention the look in his eyes when he met his nephew's gaze. To think it was more than a dozen years ago when they had stood together on the Gilmore girls' porch and Luke had asked Jess if he and Rory were really over for good. 'Long over,' Jess had told him definitely, at least, he supposed it must have sounded definite at the time. God only knew how, because it never actually felt that way to Jess. What was between him and Rory, it would never die, at least not on his side anyway. He didn't know how to get rid of what he felt for her. Sometimes, he wished he did, other times, he was actually glad he couldn't, even though it usually hurt like hell.

"Luke..."

"Don't give me that tone or that look. I got over your wiseass remarks a long, long time ago, and at this point in our long, complicated, back-and-forth relationship, I would like to think you would give me a straight and honest answer to a straight and honest question," said Luke firmly. "Now tell me, Jess, do you still have those same feelings for Rory?"

He phrased it that way on purpose, Jess was sure of it. Once upon a time, Luke wouldn't have even thought the word 'feelings', much less said it, and he absolutely wouldn't have said 'love' either. Now the L word was out, only because it had too many meanings. Jess would be allowed to love Rory as a friend, as family almost, since his uncle and her mom had been married for so long. To ask him if he loved her wouldn't get the answer Luke was looking for. 'Those same feelings.' There was no getting away from what that was, from what it meant, from how deep it went. There was also no getting away from the serious stare that Luke was giving Jess.

"The truth?" he said, watching Luke nod once before he sighed and gave his honest reply. "Yes. Honestly, not sure there's ever really been a time when I haven't."

He wasn't sure if that was what Luke was expecting to hear. He had to at least have an idea about Jess' true feelings, or he never would have asked the question. Over the years, they had a few serious conversations about Rory, but it had been a while, not least because Jess just hadn't been around to have them.

"She's why you haven't come around so much these past few years."

"Yes," Jess confirmed, nodding once. "And believe me, I know that probably sounds crazy to you, but after Noah was born... Trust me, I knew a long time ago that the likelihood of me and Rory ever getting back together was next to zero, but suddenly, the almost-zero went down to absolute zero, and I just had to be anywhere else. The longer I was gone, the easier it was to stay away. I'm sorry, Luke."

"Sorry?" he echoed, shaking his head. "Why would you have to be sorry to me?"

Jess dumped his bag back on the table and sunk down into the chair next to it with a thud. Running a hand over his face, he finally faced the conversation he ought to have known had been coming for years now, certainly the whole time since he made his return to Stars Hollow, after so long away.

"I stopped coming around, stopped visiting you, Liz too. I went out of my way to be any place but here. You have no idea the excuses I made up to not come around for Thanksgiving, Christmas..."

"I knew." Luke told him, a hint of a smirk on his lips as he moved to take the chair at the end of the table, sinking down into it with the kind of sighing groan that only came out of men of a certain age. "Well, I guess I didn't exactly know, but I suspected. Don't get me wrong, I never expected you to be excited by family events. You get your loner tendencies from me," he explained, smiling genuinely for a moment, before the expression faded as fast as it came in. "But you got so determined about not coming around for anything, ever, and any time Rory or Noah got mentioned in one of our calls... I don't know, I just had a feeling they were your problem. The only way it made sense was if you still had those feelings for her, but you told me before it was long over..."

"It was, it is," Jess insisted, shaking his head. "It has to be, in every way that matters. I can't change what I feel, Luke, but I also can't change the fact that Rory doesn't... She moved on. Years ago now. Decades. She got over me and I never got over her. That's my problem to deal with, nobody else's."

He tried to maintain eye contact, but the empathy he saw in Luke's face was too much to bear and he had to look away, his eyes going to the floor as he scuffed his shoe on the cracked linoleum.

"I know it's stupid, believe me, I do, and there were times when I thought I was over it, over her. I moved on, or I thought I could, at least. There were other women in my life, you know that but, but nobody that fit, you know?"

"I know." Luke nodded as Jess glanced at him. "It's how I feel about Lorelai."

Jess nodded back, unsurprised to hear his uncle say that. They both fell for a Gilmore girl, got sucked in to the point where there was simply no escape. The difference was, Luke got some semblance of a happy ending with the love of his life, even if it did take a while to properly work out. Jess hadn't been so lucky. He knew, at this point, more than ever, that he never would be now.

"You know, you could've had another shot," Luke said then, catching Jess' attention, even if he didn't really believe him - that must have shown in his expression, given what Luke said next. "When Rory found out she was pregnant, obviously, she had to tell the father, but by that time, Huntzberger was engaged to somebody else. Now, I don't know everything that happened, it was a while ago, and I had it mostly second-hand from Lorelai, but even when he offered to pick Rory, she said no. She never wanted to be with him, not really. I can't say for sure that she never loved him. I almost want to think that she did, once, for Noah's sake, if nothing else, but she wouldn't ever be with him long-term. He wasn't the one for her. Sure, he's Noah's father and he should be there for him. I could happily knock him into next Thursday all day long for not caring about his kid, but I got no problem with him staying away from Rory. Like I said, she doesn't want him either. She has made that very clear, over the years."

Jess heaved a sigh. "She didn't want Logan, and God knows, I don't blame her, but she still had Noah to think of, Luke. There was no way I could get in the middle of that. What was I going to offer to do? Raise her kid like he was mine? Have her say yes to that because it was easier than being alone?"

"You think she would have done that to you? Used you like that?" Luke asked angrily.

"I didn't mean it that way." Jess rolled his eyes. "You know that I didn't. I'm just saying... I would've lived my life wondering if she took me back, at least partly, because she needed somebody. Later, I know, the same as you, that I could've said something. Maybe I should have, I don't know, but the fact is, I didn't, and it's too late now. Rory's focus had to be Noah, I wanted it to be. There was no way in hell I was getting in the way of that either, and like I said, now it's too late."

Saying it out loud, over and over, it started to make the twisting feeling in Jess' gut reach an unbearable level. Before he thought about it too much, he was up from his chair, his bag pulled up onto his shoulder as he prepared to leave. He had hoped that, after thirty years, he had learned to stop running, but he would be a liar if he said so. In that moment, he felt as if he wanted to run as fast and as far as he could, right off the edge of the world, if it came to that. Of course, he knew that Luke wouldn't let him, before his uncle's hand ever landed on his shoulder.

"I know you're hurting. Apparently, I didn't fully appreciate how deep this still went with you," he said sadly, "but please, do me one favour before you leave, maybe forever."

Jess turned to look at him, unsure what came next, dreading that it might be what he suspected. It was so surprise when Luke said the words he had been hoped not to hear.

"Say goodbye this time. Come on, she deserves that much."

"Hey, warden. How's the prisoner doing?"

"Still not funny," Rory told her mother, rolling her eyes even as she moved aside to let Lorelai into the house.

"Hey, I'll have you know, I am hilarious. Everybody says so."

"I don't."

"Wow, such a sourpuss. Is this all about Noah's New York adventure, or are we thinking about a man more in your own generational age bracket?"

Rory heaved a sigh as they both sat down in the living room, close together on the couch. "I really, really, really do not want to deal with Logan, but I know that I have to, and I hate it. And yes, I know that makes me sound like even more of a sullen teenager than Noah could ever be, but what I can say? Logan does not bring out the best side of me."

"Ain't that the truth?" said Lorelai with a look. "Gotta say, babe, he never really has. Pretty sure the only good thing that ever came from that guy is our boy upstairs."

"I can't actually argue with that," Rory agreed with a half-smile. "Ugh, can't you talk to him for me? I know I'm a little old to be asking mommy to do the things I can't or don't want to, but just this once?"

"Trust me, sweets, you do not want me to talk to Logan Huntzberger. It would not end pretty for anybody," she said, not even joking, Rory was sure.

Still, she was grateful for the way her mother pulled her close into her side and hugged her tight. Times like these, it really didn't matter how old she got, Rory was sure she would always appreciate the comfort her mom could bring. She supposed that was true for lots of people, except strangely for Lorelai herself perhaps.

"So, you're going to call him, and say what? 'Come see your son, you useless ass'?"

"Something like that, I guess." Rory sighed one more time. "I keep on trying to find the right way to put it, the right words, the right thing that will actually help this stupid situation, but I still don't know where to start. I'm not sure if Logan wanting to see Noah would be better, or if everything would be simpler if he refused. Jess said that Noah just needs closure. I think he's probably right. He needs answers that only Logan can give, about why he hasn't been around."

"Jess said this?" Lorelai checked.

Rory nodded her head, smiling as she so easily pictured the guy in the armchair across the room, when they had their long catch-up yesterday. It was nice. Really nice. Even nicer than she ever could have imagined, just spending some time, talking, reconnecting, genuinely enjoying each other's company.

"Rory, honey, I don't-"

Before Lorelai could say anymore, there was a knock on the front door. Both women looked around expectantly, yet neither moved to answer the knocking. In the end, Rory got up to go, shaking her head and telling herself how dumb she was to have waited on someone else to do it. After all, it was her house!

"Jess, hey," she said, the moment she opened the door and saw him there, feeling more stunned than she should by the sight of the man she had just been thinking about. "Uh, we were just talking about you."

"You and Noah?" he asked.

"No, me and... Mom," she confirmed, just as Lorelai appeared at her side, pulling the door open wider so that could both peer out.

"Hey, nephew-in-law," she greeted him with too wide a smile.

"Funny how that never gets old," he dead-panned in reply.

"I know, right?" Lorelai continued to smile big, always loving an excuse to continue a bit. "Uh, so, I was going to make coffee," she said, casting some kind of significant look at her daughter, before taking herself straight to the kitchen.

"Oh, yeah, thanks," Rory said absently, still wondering what the strange look was for, before finally bringing her attention back to Jess, waiting patiently on her porch. "Oh, I'm sorry, did you wanna come in?"

"I can't really hang around," he told her, gesturing back to his car on the kerb. "I just... I was headed out. Wanted to stop by, say goodbye."

The stabbing pain in Rory's heart almost made her stumble back, but she managed not to let it show. At least, she hoped that she did. Jess wasn't looking at her as if she were crazy, so that was probably a good sign. Actually, he wasn't really looking at her at all, which was less good, she considered.

"Goodbye?" she echoed, clearing her throat so that she could go on. "Wow, that sounds so permanent. And here was me actually hoping maybe it wouldn't be so long between visits this time."

"I don't mean goodbye forever or anything," Jess confirmed, looking as awkward as she felt somehow. "I just feel kind of weird saying au revoir, so..."

"Yes, that would be weird," she agreed, with a smile that she couldn't help.

It wasn't just the words he said, but the way that he said them. That and the old familiar smirk that never failed to make her knees a little weak.

"Please, come in. Just for a minute?" she urged him then. "I really think Noah would want to see you before you go."

Jess looked like he wanted to say no, but in the end, for reasons she didn't dare to think too much about just now, he agreed. Of course, the moment he stepped into the house, Rory realised her mom was coming out of the kitchen, a tray in her hand, laden down with coffee, cups, and cookies.

"I know you're not big on the coffee," she told Jess, "but I found some tea in the kitchen..."

"Thanks, but I'm not staying. In fact, I'm leaving. Heading back to New York."

"Oh, right, okay." Lorelai nodded, now staring at him in an odd way.

Rory seized the moment to go to the bottom of the stairs and yell up to Noah about Jess being there to say goodbye. She really wasn't entirely sure what response she would get, but was genuinely pleased to realise she had been right about her son wanting to see Jess before he left.

"Come say bye to Uncle Jess, kid." Lorelai grinned too much from her spot now on the couch, pouring coffee and choosing a cookie.

Noah rolled his eyes. "Grandma thinks she's funny."

"Grandma always did," Jess muttered, in such a way that Rory's mom missed it, even when the other two heard. "So, I'm headed out. Just wanted to say, you know, good luck with your father and everything, and maybe next time you want to come to New York, ask your mom first."

Rory half-expected Noah to balk at the instructions from someone who had no right to give them. Instead, he surprised her by taking the sound advice to heart.

"Thanks," he told Jess, hesitating a moment before holding out a hand. "It was good to meet you, or re-meet you, I guess."

"Same here," Jess told him, grasping his hand and shaking it briefly. "Uh, so, yeah, I'll be getting out of your hair. I guess I'll see you, sometime."

"Sometime." Rory nodded, wondering why the world was so blurry all of a sudden.

She couldn't be crying, that would be so stupid. What did she have to cry about, after all? Jess was just going home. She would see him again, he just said so. Not goodbye, but au revoir. It wasn't forever, and even if it were, he wasn't hers to miss, not really. Not in that way. Not for a really long time.

As he headed for the door, she followed, glad to note that Noah had gone to snag some cookies from Grandma, who also wasn't moving from her seat.

"So, you'll keep in touch this time, right? I really hope so anyway."

"I will." Jess nodded. "I promise," he told her, proving she must have looked as sceptical as she felt about that.

"I believe you," Rory confirmed, swiping at her eyes before a tear could fall. "Sorry, I'm being weird."

Jess sighed and she wondered why. She might have asked, if not for the fact that he then took her by surprise, pulling her into a hug and holding her tight. Rory hugged back, for all she was worth, tears flowing all too freely, before finally, they parted.

"We'll talk," he assured her one more time, a half-smile tugging at his lips, and then, with a salute-like wave that she remembered so well, he turned and walked away to his car and drove out of her life, again.

To Be Continued...